


Vhenan'ara

by LadyXandra



Series: The Sins of the Evanuris [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Action & Romance, Adult Content, Alistair is an Idiot, Blood and Gore, Curses, Dalish Elves, Darkspawn, Demons, Dragon Age Lore, Drama, Dwarves, Elves, Elvhen, Elvhen Pantheon, Eventual Smut, Evolving Tags, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future pairings, Grey Wardens, Healing, Hidden Talents, Humor, Jealousy, Love, Magic, Multiple Pairings, Near Death, Oral Sex, Original Mythology, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, POV Original Character, Party Banter, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Torture, Please Review!, Plot Twists, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Romance, Sex, Sexual Content, Slavery, Slow Burn, Swearing, The Archdemon, The Blight, The Fade, The Taint, Tragedy, Trigger Warnings, Werewolves, Work In Progress, learning to love, long story, quick updates, slavers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-25 06:44:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 64
Words: 321,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4950538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyXandra/pseuds/LadyXandra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Riel of No Clan. Of No Name. Of No Line. Adopted by Keeper Marethari after a brutal history, a young Elven woman is thrust head first into a destiny she didn't want nor asked for. But she will do it. Not because she can. Not because she must. But because for her, there is nothing else. Abused in horrific ways, the scars she carries went far deeper than mere flesh.  With an internal fire hotter than any sun and an anger built upon years of pain, she will fight this Blight and let nothing stop her. At least, until she met - Him.</p><p>Zevran was a Crow.  A deadly assassin, trained by the very best in Antiva.  He took his pleasures where he could, and enjoyed everything that life offered him.  Then came the day that he was assigned to kill the last remaining Wardens.  However, the moment he failed, something inside of him changed.  The instant he met her silver eyes, he knew that he was lost to her.  Lost to this woman with silver eyes and a heart as cold as the blades she wielded.  No longer living for what life could offer him, he now lives solely for her, whether she wants him or not.  He will follow her. He will protect her.  And one day, he will save her.  Even if it meant marching to the very doors of the Maker himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Zevran's Vow

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Forevermore](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/154919) by Broken Iris. 



> This story contains graphic scenes of sex, violence, and gore. Some things remain canon according to the story laid out in the game, and some things are not. In truth, this isn't a story so much of the Fifth Blight, but a story surrounding two young elves battling against their own inner demons as they learn to not just survive in a harsh world, but to learn how to love when all the odds are stacked against them.
> 
> A slow burn of a relationship, but one I feel is worth it when these two finally do come together. However, nothing in life is ever easy. Yet some things are worth any struggle. And as Zevran says later on, "anything worth doing is worth doing right."
> 
> So here is my effort to portray their tale. Sometimes I will go back and edit old chapters, looking for grammar and editing mistakes. However, this **will** be a long story. So settle in with your coffee, your box of chocolates, and a handful of tissues as I describe to you the story of Riel and Zevran. A woman broken by the horrors of her past, and the man who is willing to change the very world itself in order to save her.
> 
> Some chapters may make you cry. Some will have you shouting for joy. My goal is to have this not just a story of adventure and love, but an adventure for you as you - the reader. So if my tale moves you to either tears or joy, please leave me a comment telling me so. I love to hear the reactions of my readers. 
> 
> Thank you again ever so much for reading. For this story is as much for you as it is for my characters. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, and I would appreciate any reviews!
> 
>  
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Len'alas lath'din: Elvhen. "Dirty child no one loves."
> 
> Shem: Short for "Shemlen". Elven. Derogatory word used for humans. Means literally "quick children".
> 
> Fen'Harel: Elvhen. "Dreaded/feared wolf." One of the Elvhen gods. A trickster and deceiver. Also the name of Riel's mabari.
> 
> Aneth ara: Elvhen. A friendly greeting with whom one is familiar.

"We're taking the assassin with us? You've got to be kidding me!"

Zevran couldn't help but smile at the mottled skin of the male Warden. Average enough looking with his short blond hair and heavy armor on, he didn't hold the rogue assassin's attention quite like the lithe beauty who stood next to the warrior. Staring down at him with a mixture of hatred and caution, the woman looked equal parts a dangerous enemy and beautiful goddess.

Two black braids encircled her head as a wreath, starting from her temples and reaching around to the back. The remaining of her midnight hued hair hung gloriously down her shoulders, reaching to just above her perfectly rounded breasts. Her skin the color of tea mixed with milk, and it looked just as smooth and delicious to Zevran's hungry gaze. The only blemish he could see on her perfect form being a vicious scar that cut from her right temple to down past her mouth and over her chin. Yet even that wasn't able to take away in the slightest from her overall beauty and perfection.

With his hands bound behind him, Zevran could only stare up in amazement at the elegant and mesmerizing vision before him. Even with her stern look and heated glare, Zevran couldn't seem to pull himself away from the female Warden's eyes that snapped deadly fire at him. And yet for just the slightest moment, those silver eyes held a brief look of kindness and empathy in them before it quickly disappeared behind her anger.

Eyes of silver! Such a thing Zevran had never seen before in his many years of travel, and yet the beguiling color seemed to fit the graceful curve of her face. The exotic tint only adding further to her delicate beauty and elegance. As if she were a famed heroine out of some minstrel's tale, the female Grey Warden entranced Zevran with only the faintest of looks.

And yet as she glared down at him with clear hatred and suspicion on her face, Zevran could see that this was a woman who got where she was not through beauty, but by the strength of her inner spirit. From her determined stance, to the air of command that encircled her, Zevran could see that this was a woman who knew exactly what she wanted and damnation to anyone who attempted to deny her.

" _Len'alas lath'din!_ " angrily groaned the Warden before turning her sharp gaze upon the man who had spoken. "He has proven himself to be a decent fighter, something we are in need of. And didn't Duncan believe in giving others second chances?" Riel replied with a piercing glare. She knew it was a low blow, however she was honestly getting annoyed with the shem constantly questioning her when  _he's_  the one who pressured her to lead their merry band of misfits in the first place.

"That was uncalled for, Riel." The malice in the human's voice was apparent, but went largely ignored by the smaller elf. "Fine. But I'm watching you, assassin," the Templar said between gritted teeth before sternly marching away.

"So I am to accompany you? Excellent! You will not regret this, my lovely Warden," Zevran smiled as his bindings were removed and he was finally able to stand. When he was face to face with the beautiful Elven woman, he bowed slightly, a smile never leaving his lips. "I hereby pledge my oath of loyalty to you, until such time as you choose to release me from it. I am you man, without reservation... This I swear."

Riel had to suppress a small smile at his flourish and charming grin. Again she reminded herself that as handsome as the other elf may be, he was no different than any other man that she had ever known. Elf or human, men were after all  _men_. And men could ever be trusted. However, Riel knew that despite her feelings, she needed allies if she were going to somehow build up an army to fight against the evil Darkspawn and bring down their powerful Archdemon leader.

"Two rules, Zevran, and I am sure we'll get along," Riel stated as she handed the assassin back his daggers. "One, keep your hands to yourself or risk losing them. And two, follow my orders and you might just keep your life."

Zevran smiled broadly at her  _rules_ , yet he kept his questions to himself. No doubt the lovely Warden had her reasons for such things, and Zevran was happy to have his life. As an added benefit, he was also grateful to simply be in the company of such a lovely and exotic woman. From the first moment that he witnessed her first come around the bend, Zevran had been awestruck at her beauty, despite the scar that lined her delicate face.

Perhaps it was her beauty that steadied his blade while he fought, keeping him from using his superior skills against the woman when he could have. Even as the woman and her companions fought against him and his hired men, Zevran knew he wasn't giving the battle his best as he should have. Something that surely could have ended with his death and not simply just being captured as he was.

For a brief moment, Zevran's mind drifted back in time to a pair of pleading, teary eyes... However Zevran pushed the regret and pain he felt at the memories from his mind. Whatever the reason, Zevran instead chose to simply enjoy his new found luck, as well as his fortunate position as his eyes focused on the mesmerizing sway of the Warden's hips as she walked in front of him.

"Well, it is always good to know the rules of the game before the players begin,  _no_?" Zevran replied with a soft laugh. "Now, what is it that is our mission? Fighting Darkspawn, I imagine. That is what you Grey Warden's do, is it not? However, there must be finer points to the plan that would be helpful in knowing,  _no_?"

"For an assassin, he sure does speak a lot. 'Tis a wonder he survived long enough to attack us," quipped the beautiful mage who walked beside him.

"Ah! Perhaps I was simply swooned by your loveliness. And what would be your name, if I may ask?"

The mage rolled her eyes at his attempts at flattery. "Morrigan is my name, and you shall call me as such. I am not some foolhardy teenage girl to giggle at your lavish affections, assassin." The dry comment made Zevran laugh heartily, causing Riel to look back with scorn on her face.

"As amusing as your conversation  _must_  be, I would appreciate it if introductions were kept until  _after_ we are back at the camp. We are still a ways from camp and I would like to avoid any further trouble until we can restock our supplies."

Startled by her leaders harsh words, Morrigan's cheeks flushed brightly, but the look was quickly covered with her usual frown. The road that they were on was well traveled, but Morrigan knew better than most the dangers that could hide within the surrounding forests. Being raised in the Wilds, she knew well how quickly a wild pack of wolves could appear out behind the brush and trees. And wolves were one of the least dangerous things that one could come across now that a Blight ravaged these lands.

Darkspawn - foul and corrupted creatures that brought plague and pestilence wherever they went - now roamed the surface in ever increasing numbers. Spreading up from the south, the massive horde had already overtaken the small farming town of Lothering they had passed by and now was steadily pressing north with every day that passed.

After about half an hour of silent walking, the first signs of the small camp finally came into view through the trees. And within moments of spotting the campsite, did a huge brown canine come leaping through the debris of the forest straight at them. Barking happily, it leapt up and nearly knocked over the group's elven leader as it licked at her face. For the first time since he had met his new comrades, Zevran caught a smile upon his elven savior's beautiful face. As fleeting as it was, it was enough to make his heart flutter in his chest as she lit up with happiness while greeting the bounding mastiff.

"Enough Fen'harel! It is good to see you, as well," Riel chuckled softly as she hugged the beast.  _This was one the best parts of coming back to camp_ , Riel mused inwardly. She always did look forward to returning from a long day and greeting her furry and loyal friend. Because the hound was more limited than others in some situations, Riel had decided to keep him at camp most of the time, which both comforted her yet left her lonely at the same time. However, the mighty beast didn't seem to mind, taking up the duty of guard dog fairly well.

"Home, sweet home..." Morrigan said dryly under her breath as the small group entered the camp site.

The area was fairly sparse, with only a few small sleeping tents set up around a central fire in the center of an open area surrounded by thick trees. Off to the side was a large wagon tended to by two dwarves, and perhaps a dozen feet beyond that was a smaller fire where the woman Morrigan was headed to. Scattered around the fire were several small bags and equipment sacks, as well as cooking pots and a few utensils. Overall, it looked fairly normal from what one would come to expect a traveling group to have as they set up for the night.

" _Aneth ara_ , Riel. I did say that right, didn't I?" asked a young female rogue, her Orlesian accent coming through strongly. Taller than himself, the woman was very beautiful, with vibrant and luscious red hair that framed her pleasing face and pale skin. However, to Zevran, she was still not nearly as beautiful as his new Warden companion. Even the darkly alluring Morrigan with her black hair and deeply hued makeup could not come close to matching the Warden's exotic and enticing beauty in his mind.

"Very good, Leliana. However, it is more  _ah-rah_ , not  _are-ah_. But you are learning very quickly for a non-Dale." Riel smiled softly at her friend's attempts, however Zevran noted that it didn't quite reach her eyes despite her warm words. Instead a deep sadness reigned in her eyes, which was quickly covered up by her stern scowl when Leliana's attention turned to him.

"Oooo, and who is this, I wonder? A new ally? Or something more personal, hmm?" The lit of the female rogue was an almost sing-song; playful and light. Usually what Zevran liked in a woman, yet for some reason, he could still not take his eyes off of his Warden.

"Nothing like that Lei, I assure you. Oddly enough, he was sent to kill me, yet thankfully he is not nearly as good as he thought he was," Riel corrected sternly, turning her gaze over to him. Her expression was hard, yet Zevran couldn't help but feel there was something else behind her cold words.

"Yet you let him live? Interesting..."

"Zevran Arainai, at your service," Zevran replied with another exaggerated bow.

"Oh, I like this one. He is cute, and very dashing."

"Ah, my talents are far more varied than what you can see here, my lady. Perhaps later, I can introduce you to some of my many other...  _talents_..." he replied with a wide smirk. Yet even though he got the red headed woman to giggle, all his actions seemed to do was anger his female Warden.

"Enough! You will do well to keep whatever  _talents_ you have for the upcoming battles!" Riel spat out angrily. Confused at what could have angered her so quickly, Zevran stood silent as he watched her march off and enter what he supposed was her tent.

Sighing, Leliana approached Zevran with her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes holding a sad, faraway look. "Do not mind her. She has... had a difficult past. She refuses to speak of it, but it wounds her deeply still. Most of the time she is very friendly, if not more  _distant_  with the men in our little party."

"Distant? Try outright hostile. One time while in Lothering, I made the mistake of placing my hand on her arm to get her attention," Alistair frowned and his face contorted into a sharp grimace as he relived the memory. "I couldn't walk properly for a week! She means it when she says not to touch her."

"However, you  **did**  look a bit silly trying to battle against Darkspawn with your stance so wide all the time..." giggled Leliana. Alistair glared at the woman, yet the image did seem to succeed in bringing a smile to his face as well.

Standing there amongst the others, Zevran had tried to listen to the banter of his new companions. However, his mind kept going back to the fiery, midnight haired beauty who had somehow given him something that he had previously thought impossible. For the first time in months, the agonizing pain in his chest no longer felt as heavy as it once did. And neither did his need to end his life seem so all encompassing since waking up to her stunning silver eyes.

"My name is Leliana, and I saw you met our furry companion, Fen'harel," the redheaded woman then said, pulling Zevran out of his thoughts. Leliana then pointed a graceful figure towards a towering figure of man several yards away. Easily seven feet tall, his height alone would have been imposing. Added to it however, was a stern and hard look that was enough to even make the seasoned assassin take a step back. "That there is Sten. He is Qunari, and he travels with us. Mostly his is alright, just very quiet."

"I will be sure to let him have his silence, then," Zevran stated with a weary look.

"Oh he's alright. Just don't ever take the last cookie, and I'm sure you'll be just fine," Leliana giggled, her eyes lighting up with mischief.

"So you are all battling the Darkspawn?"

"A Blight is coming," Leliana nodded. "I'm sure you must have heard how the king's army was defeated at Ostagar."

"I heard tales, but nothing more. Yet after meeting two of the legendary Grey Wardens for myself, I doubt such nasty tales could be true."

"The Grey Warden's didn't betray the king, no matter what that foul Loghain says!" Leliana's eyes flashed fury when she spoke of the Teyrn's name. "Loghain is the one who betrayed the king, leaving him and the rest of the army to die! It was awful! Alistair and Riel almost didn't survive the battle!"

"Is that true? How did they manage to escape then?"

Leliana motioned over the far fire where Morrigan had set up her tent. "Morrigan's mother saved them. She says that her mother is the fabled "Witch of the Wilds", but there is no way to know for sure. Riel assures me, however, that no matter whatever the old tales say, the woman calling herself Flemeth is a powerful apostate who did indeed save the both of them with her magic."

"Truly? That by itself must quite the tale," Zevran replied, amazed. Even he had heard the tales of the fabled witch who made her home in the Korcari Wilds in southern Ferelden.

Feared by men of every order, the rumors and lore surrounding the famous witch had persisted for centuries. In some tales a powerful abomination that stole feasted upon to retain her youth and beauty. In others she had her own daughters sired by unfortunate men who were lured into her clutches by dark and foreboding magics. Yet all of the tales had seemed nothing more than tavern rumors to Zevran, told again and again by men and women as they enjoyed their ales or spirits.

"Mmhm. And now we are headed off to Denerim to find a man who might be able to lead us to an ancient relic, capable of healing the Arl of Redcliff," Leliana explained as she led him over to the fire in the center of the camp. "A knight that we met in Lothering told us that the arl one day became suddenly very ill, and the arlessa sent out her knights in search of a man called Genitivi, hoping to find a way to cure her ailing husband."

"The arl is a good man, and if we are to ever hope to raise an army against the Blight, then we need him alive and healthy," Alistair added, his tone still somewhat cold as he spoke to Zevran. "Hopefully we'll be able to find this Genitivi quickly and get whatever information that he has without Loghain knowing that either I or Riel are in Denerim. What with the rumors he has spread about the Wardens, it's dangerous just getting close to the city, let alone entering and poking around for clues about Genitivi."

"Then you are in luck, my new friends! For if it is one thing that I know how to do, it is to gather information, or to find those willing to give it! I even have a contact or two in Denerim that I could call upon to aid in the search for this man."

"That would be wonderful, Zevran!" Leliana happily replied.

"It is truly no trouble, my dear Leliana. Especially for one so lovely as yourself," stated Zevran with a sly wink and a charming smile.

"If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go speak to Sten about watch duty tonight..."

Zevran looked over just as the Templar Alistair stormed off towards the giant Leliana had pointed out earlier. Ever since their leader, Riel, decided not to kill him, the Templar had acted coldly towards the assassin. Which was to be expected, of course. He  _did_  try to kill them all not too long ago, after all.

"Oh don't mind him. Riel's been in a mood all day, and whenever she is upset, Alistair gets moody himself."

"The female Warden?"

"Mmhm. I suppose it's because she didn't sleep again last night, but..." Leliana looked up from the vegetables that she was cutting, her eyes wide and a blush on her face. "I really shouldn't be saying anything... Never mind what I just said."

"What is it that troubles her?" Zevran asked, trying to sound less interested than he was. However, the idea that something was upsetting his lovely Warden acted as if a weight pulled on his chest.

"It's not really my place to say..." Leliana said quickly, her focus going back to the vegetables in her hands. "Really, I'm sure you'll find out soon enough, anyway..."

Zevran wanted to continue the subject, but it was obvious that Leliana wasn't going to say much else. Instead an awkward silence filled the space between them as Leliana continued getting their evening meal ready, with Zevran watching the fire silently.

"Oh damn it! I'm going to need this fire hotter if I am going to boil the water I collected earlier," Leliana huffed to herself before looking over to Zevran. "Would you be a gentleman and fetch me some more wood for the fire, Zevran? It rained last night, so you might have to look under the brush for anything dry enough."

"Your wish is my command, my dear Leliana," Zevran replied with a smile. While standing, he even offered a slight bow, causing Leliana to giggle. "I shall return shortly with some useful wood to stoke your fire..." he added with a devilish grin. The double meaning was not lost on Leliana, causing her to blush and giggle profusely.

"Oh you are bad, Zevran!"

"On the contrary, I have been told that I am actually very,  _very_ , good..." he said with a wink.

With that Zevran bowed again, then turned on his heel and made his way towards the nearby wooded area. Behind him he could hear Leliana's girlish laughter, yet even for all his flirting, it was not her that filled his mind. True, the woman was beautiful, and her smile and laughing eyes were enough to make the knees of most men weak. Yet, it wasn't her smile that he thought of as he bent down to gather the sticks and small logs that Leliana requested.

The smile that made his heart beat faster and his blood run hotter didn't come with laughing blue eyes framed by fire red hair. No, the smile that was burned into his memory belonged to another woman. One with exotic and entrancing silver eyes that shined brightly by an inner fire and fierce will. It may have been brief, but the memory of her smile as her hound greeted her was enough to set his blood rushing in his ears and his breath come heavier.

Even when she hated him, she was magnificent. Her heated glares or stern looks only made Zevran wonder all the more if her passion ran as hot between the bedsheets as it did just by yelling at him. Oh the pleasures he could give to her! But first, he had to gain her trust. Which judging from what little he learned so far, wouldn't be an easy task. However, he wouldn't have lasted long as an Antivan Crow if he let a difficult challenge easily dissuade him.

After a few minutes of picking up various pieces of wood, Zevran heard footsteps loudly crunch behind him, yet he continued on acting as if he was unaware. Judging from the clunky steps and the sound of metal on metal, there was little doubt in Zevran's mind as to who approached. If the Templar was trying to sneak up on him, he was failing miserably at it.

"I should kill you now..." the male Warden's voice was cold and hard, as was the steel Zevran suddenly felt against the back of his neck.

"Aye, probably. The gods know that I would probably deserve it. Yet I have to wonder how your fellow Grey Warden would feel about such an action. Surely my untimely death would cause questions,  _no_?"

Alistair's fury rose with how the elf remained so unfazed by having a blade at his head. Then again, everything about the elf seemed to anger him. He had watched Riel question him earlier, and much of her usual hardness was lacking from her voice as she addressed the would-be assassin. Alistair then watched again on the walk back to camp how Zevran's eyes never strayed far from Riel's form that walked a few feet ahead. And now in camp, even with his overbearing flirting with Leliana, how his eyes never drifted far from Riel or her tent.

"I will just tell her that you tried to attack us again, and I was simply defending our friends. Easy enough," Alistair sneered as he pressed the blade's point harder against Zevran's neck, drawing a tiny speck of blood.

"True enough, I suppose," Zevran sighed. "I have yet to earn her trust, which you and the others do seem to have. Yet I somehow think it is not just my earlier attempt on all of your lives that has you so spurned right now," Zevran replied without standing, or even turning around. If he were to die, so be it. Wasn't that why he came to Ferelden to begin with?

"Well, so this is where you have gone off to. 'Tis no business of mine, however if you are to kill the assassin, it would probably make more sense to do so when our leader is not looking for him."

Alistair snarled before sheathing his sword and storming off. Zevran rose slowly with his arms still full of dried wood to see Morrigan standing a few feet away with her arms crossed and her usual scowl upon her lovely face. "I must say my dear Morrigan, that you have an excellent sense of timing. A moment or two longer, and I might have found myself without my head."

"Do not misunderstand me, assassin. I care not for your life, yet Riel for some reason does. After all, she let you live when she could have easily ended your life earlier. It is her I do not wish to see pained." Morrigan slowly approached Zevran, moving more like a wild predator than a woman. "Tis one thing that I have learned about her, it is that despite her rather cold demeanor, she tends to care for all those she brings into this merry group of ours," continued Morrigan, stopping just inches before Zevran. Even in the darkness of the woods, Zevran could see her yellow eyes shining with not just malice, but a dark amusement, as if she were imagining how much she would enjoy ending his life despite her warning to the Templar.

"Zevran! Where are you, you flaming elf?!" Riel's words echoed from the campsite, ending the tension that Zevran found himself in with Morrigan. At her calling, Morrigan just smiled devilishly, then turned and walked back to camp. Zevran knew a challenge was made, unspoken between him and the mage. Figuring it out what challenge that was would yet be the fun part.

Chuckling to himself softly, he made his way back into the camp.

_Just what have you gotten yourself into now, Zevran? Ah, this should indeed be interesting..._


	2. Meeting the Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, and I would appreciate any reviews!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Ser: King's Tongue. A formal title based on status, similar to "sir" in our world, but not gender specific.
> 
> Aravals: Elven landships. Used for sleeping and storing their belongings.
> 
> Shemlen/Shem: Elvhen. Literally "quick children". The original name of the Elves for the human race. Often used in a derogatory sense.

_By the great Beyond, just who did he think that he was?_

Inside of her tent, Riel's fury was bordering on epic levels and yet for some reason that she couldn't even begin to name, she even felt the twinges of shame in her mind.  _Why should she even care about the casual way that the assassin flirted with Leliana, or the way his amber eyes seemed to sparkle whenever he laughed?_  The greatest hurt however was caused as she laid there alone in her tent, overhearing the conversation going on outside without her. And in the silence that stretched between Leliana and Zevran speaking, horrible images would come to her mind of the two of them together in ways even still sent a chill down Riel's spine.

Even though she detested to admit it even to herself, the way Zevran's laughing eyes and smooth yet foreign accent washed like a warm bath over her skin. It seemed to smooth out her edges and calm the anger she lived with on an almost steady basis. And though Riel may distrust and largely dislike all men, she wasn't blind or stupid. She could see and hear the same reaction coming Leliana as Zevran spoke to her. And that bothered Riel more than she understood. There was even a moment after she cut his bindings that Riel felt…  _something_ … beginning to bloom in her chest as she heard him speak to her.

And yet, Zevran had shown clearly that there was indeed nothing special in the way the spoke to her. Like all men, he was easy with his affections and honeyed words. First trying to ply her with his charm, and then Morrigan. And now that they were back in camp, it was Leliana's turn it seemed. All of which just further proved to Riel just how dangerous and untrustworthy men actually were. Especially the attractive ones.

With his tanned skin, golden hair, perfect features, and lips that seemed to beg her to touch them...

_Damn it!_

Cursing herself for who knows how many times now, Riel pulled her mind back from the dangerous areas it was going.  _All_  men were trouble, and were  **never**  to be trusted. As soon as you allowed it, they would use their power over you to commit crimes that left more than just physical scars. Deep wounds that never healed and instead just continued to fester deep inside of a person's soul….

More than anyone else, Riel knew this hard fact down to her very bones. The Creators themselves knew that she had the scars to prove it, both physically and mentally. No matter what words were said or how nice they seemed, at their core, all men were the same. Greedy, disgusting, evil things that cared for nothing other than their own satisfaction and pleasure.

With rage fueling her mental rant, Riel absently tidied up her tent. The saner side of her mind would repeatedly tell her how irrational she was being. After all, she doubted that either Leliana or Morrigan would allow a man - as handsome as he may be - to use them in such a way. Especially Morrigan. And if the fool of an elf tried, there wouldn't even be enough left of him for the Darkspawn to use.

However, the threat that men poised was a constant worry in her mind. Riel wouldn't put it past Alistair to try use his candied words in an attempt to find his way into one of the women's beds. Afterall, he had attempted it with her on at least a couple of occasions. And each attempt was always greeted by a stiff rebuke by Riel, as well as a stern threat of violence should the ex-Templar ever try to take his  _flirting_  past mere words.

As for the grey skinned giant Sten, he had already previously admitted to killing an entire family over the loss of his sword. A murder too gruesome to even comprehend, Riel never asked the giant for details beyond that simple description of the heinous acts. So it wasn't too far beyond her imagination that he would be capable of doing if given the opportunity. A threat that Riel reasoned having by telling herself that she needed his brute strength and battle experience while she fought in a war on two ever increasing sides. With Loghain in the north and the Darkspawn at her heels in the south, Riel needed every ally she could get. And so every night that Riel closed her eyes, in her hands would be her daggers, gripped tightly in her palms as she prayed to the Creators to keep her safe while she rested.

Not that she ever actually got much rest, that is. Between the nightmares of the Archdemon and the Darkspawn that he controlled, and the terrible memories of her past, sleep since becoming a Grey Warden was becoming more elusive than a white hare in the middle of winter. Most mornings Riel awoke long before anyone else, shaking and sweaty from her dreams, her face wet from tears shed while she slept.

The horrors that plagued her dreaming her mind never truly abated come dawn's first light as most dreams did, either. No, the monsters that lived in Riel's mind stayed with her constantly. Her idle thoughts always seeming to drift back to the terrible things that haunted both her memories and her dreams. Not just memories of the part, either. But horrible visions sent to her by the Archdemon. Visions of death and blood, and wretched flashes of people suffering and screaming out for help. Or death. The mercy of death often a much more common cry that Riel would hear echo in her mind.

As Riel laid on her bedroll, stewing in her thoughts, the sound of Leliana's light laughter could be heard coming through the tent fabric. Her giggling laughter sounding as if she were some silly girl being courted. Before this night, the sound of her friend's laughter had always seemed to make Riel feel better. A soothing balm to the pain she constantly felt. Now though, Riel could only feel a strange ache take root in her chest. Added to the fact that she couldn't define her pain or give a reason to it only served to make Riel's anger even worse. Grumbling to herself, Riel sat up from her bedroll and cursed out in frustration.

Her mind told her that she was being irrational. That there was no reason to be so incensed at her friend's laugher or how Leliana's perfect smile could be heard inside her lilting tone. Whether the woman fell for the man's well used charm was Leliana's fault, not her own. However Riel still couldn't quell the anger that had risen inside of her.

What was it about this assassin that drove her anger on so much? Whatever the reason was, Riel knew that she couldn't stand being alone in her tent much longer. With unbidden images of red hair tangling with blonde causing a strange stabbing like pain her chest. Growling to herself, Riel decided that no matter what  _indecent_  things the other two rogues were doing,  _she_  was the unspoken leader of this group. And she wasn't going to cower in her tent while things still needed to be done. Like it or not, the mantle of leadership had fallen to her even though Alistair was the more senior Warden. Yet he and the others had still looked to Riel to lead them. So she had. And leading a group of people meant that she couldn't just lay there and wallow in feelings that she didn't even understand.

Plans for tomorrow needed to be laid out, provisions accounted for, meals cooked and ate, guard turns put forth, and most importantly, weapons cleaned and maintained. After all, dull and rusted daggers would do little to protect her from the dangers of the world. Or the men of the camp, if need be.

Sighing heavily, Riel left her tent and stretched her sore muscles. Oh how she longed for the aravals of her people. The Dalish landships were not overly large, especially when shared with others, but compared to the small and cramped tents that she and the others used, they seemed like heaven. Speaking of tents, Riel supposed that she might as well get their newest member properly settled in before anything else was done. Although thinking about it, she doubted that they had an extra tent for him. It as well as many other things were on her list of things needed to buy when they finally reached Denerim. However, they probably did have spare bedrolls in the wagon that Bodahn and his son managed.

Just a short distance away from the main fire stood the wagon that was tended to by the dwarven father and son. The senior dwarf, Bodahn, acted as a much appreciated liaison between the various merchant guilds and store owners. Whenever the camp as a whole needed something, he was able to at least find out who sold it and for what price. Many times he was even able to garner them a discount for their goods, as well. On top of that, in his wagon Bodahn kept a wide assortment of things that travelers such as Riel and her group would need as they would spend long weeks on the road in between cities or towns.

Poultices, potions, repair materials, and even mundane items like bedrolls, cooking utensils, and blankets were all available through him. For a small price, of course. One that Riel made certain that the dwarf was well paid for. The luxury of the dwarf's items - and convenient wagon to carry all of it in - far outweighed any disadvantage lugging the wagon around proved to be. With most of their gear in his wagon, Riel and the others were not so over burdened as they traveled, making fighting when they needed to so much easier. Not to mention the dwarven child was an excellent enchanter of rune stones, and did so free of charge for them. A great boon in and of itself.

Walking over to the wagon, Riel nodded to the two dwarves as they appeared to be playing some sort of child's card game together. When the younger dwarf, Sandal, squealed in excitement, Riel had to repress a smile as she watched him win the round of whatever game it was that they played.

"Do you need something, Ser Mahariel?"

"No, Bodahn, just getting an extra bedroll for our new companion."

"Aye, I did happen to see you come back with someone new this evening ser. Did I hear right in that he tried to kill you?" asked Bodahn as he came to stand beside Riel as she looked through the wagon's contents.

"Yes, but honestly, who doesn't want the Grey Warden's killed now that Loghain has spread his venom among all of Ferelden?" Riel joked mildly. Her attempt at levity seemed to be lost on the older dwarf however, as he continued to look at her with worry in his eyes. "Do not worry, Bodahn. It seems as if he was hired to do a job, something which he had no personal choice in I might add, and now wishes to be free from his former employers. He has sworn his oath to me, and for now I trust him."

"If you say so, Ser Mahariel. Me and my boy trust in you," the dwarf replied, still with a look of worry in his brown eyes. Lowering herself to be more at eye level with him, Riel put the extra bedroll that she had found on the ground and tried to sound as reassuring as possible.

"It will be alright, Bodahn. Everyone in camp will be watching him. If he so much as sneezes in a threatening manner, he will find himself on the receiving end of many pointed blades and powerful spells." Bodahn finally smiled at her, and she noticed the tension leave the poor dwarf's shoulders as she reassured him. Standing up fully, she grabbed hold of the bedroll and addressed him again before she turned and left. "And remember Bodahn, you can call me Riel, just like everyone else."

"Yes, Ser Mahar- I mean, Riel. Forgive me, but even after all these years on the surface, I am still getting used to how you all shorten your names. Why doesn't anyone call you by your first name, if I may ask?"

Riel got a sad, faraway look in her eyes as he spoke, and immediately Bodahn regretted his innocent question. After a moment of silence, he wondered if Riel was even going to answer him.

"No one needs to know that, Bodahn. I am just another Grey Warden, fighting against a Blight," Riel softly replied before turning and walking back to camp. Watching her leave, Bodahn sighed wistfully before rejoining his son in their word games. The boy did so love to try to learn new words and phrases, and Bodahn could hardly deny him such simple pleasures.

Back closer to the camp's main fire, Riel looked around for the assassin. To be safe, she had planned on taking his daggers away from him until they were on the road again the next day. After all, there was no need for him to have weapons that he could use to attack them while they slept. However, Riel honestly doubted the loss of his daggers would prove much of a problem even if he did indeed plan on finishing what he started in the small valley.

Riel didn't know very much about assassins, and even less about the Crows - the group of assassins Zevran belonged to - but something inside of her told Riel that this Zevran was far more skilled than he let on. Thinking back to the the fight with him that afternoon, for some reason it seemed as if he were holding back even as his blades clashed with her own. A certain hesitancy to each of his strikes, almost as if he  _wanted_  to lose against her.

"Riel! There you are, I was beginning to wonder if you were okay. You don't normally retreat into your tent so early, especially after just coming back from scouting."

Riel looked over to see Leliana look up from her heavy bag that rested against her ten, the woman holding in her hand what looked like some sort of root. Steeling her emotions and her rolling anger, Riel joined her friend by the fire just as Leliana went about adding the root to the already simmering pot over the fire. Over the past couple of weeks together, Leliana had managed to work down a lot of Riel's personal barriers when it came to dealing with shemlens, which is what the Dalish called humans. Riel still didn't trust their species, but the woman herself had earned a lot of Riel's trust and respect as they traveled together. Fighting and protecting each other everyday did that, Riel guessed.

However, making friends was not something that Riel had ever intended to do when she first left her clan with Duncan. Creators knew she didn't have any amongst her own people, save perhaps the keeper. Somehow though, Leliana and the witch Morrigan had both had managed to break down her inner armor enough to where Riel found herself rather enjoying their differing company.

Of the two human women, Leliana was outspoken, funny, and very girlish, always wanting to speak of shoes or dresses when not telling every one of her stories. Around the campfire at night she would relate stories of what life was like in Orlais, or of people that she once knew. There always seemed some sort of story ready to be told by her redheaded friend, often filling their hours in camp as they rested for the night.

Leliana had even convinced Riel to let her braid her hair once after she had taken a bath once evening. Something that was no small feat as Riel loathed to be close to anyone, especially humans. But again, Leliana always had a way about her that seemed to lower Riel's defenses. She was always quick to make Riel smile, and over the short weeks since meeting, their relationship had developed into something that Riel still had trouble defining. Something akin to friendship, Riel guessed. Yet somehow more than that as well.

The sly rogue had even managed to pull a promise out of Riel to go shopping together when they finally reached Denerim. How, Riel still wasn't exactly quite sure. Yet that was the way things were with the other woman. Like water moving downhill, their friendship had flowed on despite the obstacles that Riel tried to put in way of it.

Morrigan on the other hand was very much the opposite of Leliana. Quick witted and sharp of tongue, the woman seemed almost cruel to everyone who knew her. Creators knew Alistair thought so. However, through long talks in camp, Riel had come to see a different side to the witch. She was funny - in a very dry and morbid sort of way. She also had no qualms about speaking her mind, no matter the topic. In fact, Riel could always count on the witch to tell her the truth, even if it was unpleasant.

At times the dark mage could even go so far as being comforting whenever Riel had an argument with Alistair over something he said or did. Although it did seem as if that was a side of her that only Riel got to see. Their private talks by Morrigan's fire usually consisting of hating on the male gender, or on rare occasions the woman entertaining Riel with stories of what her life was like before joining their group.

Despite their talks, Riel knew the dark witch to be very private and subdued, often keeping to herself at her own separate fire several feet away from the rest of them. That didn't mean that she didn't come and sit with them occasionally, but more often than not Morrigan would fill her time either by her own fire, or gone from the camp entirely. A trained shapeshifter, she would often spend the night in one of her animal forms, doing only Creators knew what as the hours passed. Morrigan was an individual that thrived best when left to her own devices. Something which annoyed Alistair to no end, especially in the beginning when Morrigan would disappear into the night air only to return hours later.

Riel rarely if ever questioned the witch on what she did on her outings. She well understood the need to get away from people for a time and be by oneself. While living amongst the Dalish for these past few years, Riel often sought the solitude of the forest, away from the prying and questioning eyes of her adoptive clan. Out in the forest, she could be herself without fear of judgment or reprisal. And given how Morrigan was raised in and around the southern Wilds, Riel assumed Morrigan felt much the same way.

In their own ways, both Leliana and Morrigan were like flip sides of a coin. Each of them calling out to a different side of Riel that only they could understand. Many times Riel wished that she could be as open and happy as Leliana. With her laughing attitude and positive outlook. When they were together, Riel could forget for a time the Darkspawn at their backs and Loghain at their necks. She could laugh and listen to stories like a normal woman her age. And with Morrigan, she understood the dark witch in ways Riel guessed the others didn't. To be distrustful of humans and others in general. Even her dark and morbid sense of humor echoed in Riel as they would sometimes joke about all the ways to do away with Alistair whenever he said or did something that upset Riel.

For the first time in her life, Riel felt as if she had real friends. Strange, she thought, considering the state of the world and the coming Blight. Another cruel twist of irony that fate would require the very world being threatened before Riel would finally find people that she could relate to.

The men of the group on the other hand...

Alistair was decent enough most times. As long as he kept his mouth shut. When he wasn't being an ass, he could even sometimes be kind. However his sickly sweet attitude towards Riel and his constant corny jokes only wore on Riel's nerves. Not to mention how he would occasionally make rude remarks involving elves even directly to her face without seeming to think of how his words would affect Riel. In battle, however, Alistair was exceptionally skilled and fought well at her back, even if his personality left much to be desired otherwise.

And Sten... well... Ever since releasing him from his cage in Lothering, he had been quite mostly. Rarely did he ever speak, and when he did, he seldom wasted words. He never complained when it was his turn to stand watch, and often would go the whole night without waking the next person to take over.

When Riel would question him about it, the giant insisted that being a Qunari allowed him to stay awake longer. A contraction of stoic compassion, rationalized away with remarks about how the rest of the group needed their sleep if they were going to fight against the Blight. And even though he spent most of his time in quiet solitude, his actions when involved with the group were never cruel. Despite the horrific things he had committed in his past, Sten stoicism was even at times kind, if distant.

And yet Riel still couldn't forget how even he admitted freely of his previous crimes. An entire family - even children - killed in brutal cold blood. There was no denial of his actions on his part. He didn't even claim any rationalizations for them. He just simply admitted his crimes, as cold and factual as if he were retelling of someone else's crimes. Even when Sten had retold the event directly to Riel, the giant spared no time for emotions in his retelling, even regret. An emotion that one would assume any rational person would feel at doing something so horrific.

When Riel had petitioned the Revered Mother of Lothering's Chantry to release the Qunari into her care, the Mother herself told Riel that any future crimes he committed would also hang around her neck as well. A warning that Riel didn't take lightly, yet the threat that loomed over all of Ferelden weighed most in her mind. At the time, there was only herself, Morrigan, Leliana and Alistair. Four people and a mabari to take on the entire Darkspawn horde and Loghain's army.

As Riel measures her choices, the thing she kept coming back to was simple numbers. She needed allies. The Darkspawn horde was not getting any smaller, and every day that passed, Loghain gained more supporters against the Grey Wardens with his twisted lies. If the Qunari was willing to raise his blade for her cause, Riel would welcome him. He indeed was an amazing fighter, and despite his overbearing size and intimidating presence, Sten never once treated Riel with anything other than respect. Not once had he even tried to get in Riel's good graces with sickly sweet yet hollow words and empty gestures like Alistair did. With him as with the witch Morrigan, you got the truth, even if it wasn't something that you wanted to hear at the moment.

"Are you okay, Riel? You look as if you have something on your mind."

Riel snapped forward from her introspective thoughts, and turned to face Leliana with a small smile that she was sure never quite reached her eyes. "Yes, I am fine, Lei. Just wondering where our new assassin friend has gone to."

"Zevran? Oh, I sent him off earlier in search of more wood for the fire. I have to say though, after you yelled at him, you should have seen his poor face! All puppy dog eyes..." Leliana giggled to herself as she began stirring the pot in front of her. "I think that I saw Alistair go after him not too long ago though. They should probably still be together, even."

Riel felt her breath catch in her throat.  _Alistair and Zevran alone in the woods? Oh Creators, let them both still be alive!_  "How could you let Alistair go after him? What if Zevran tries to kill him once they are away from camp? Or worse, Alistair kills Zevran?"

Leliana looked shocked at Riel's outburst, not really thinking much of the two men leaving camp. It didn't ever occur to her that they might try to kill each other once out of sight of the camp. "They went over there, perhaps ten minutes ago," Leliana replied in a rush, putting down the spoon that she held and pointing off towards the west of the camp.

Riel hurriedly ran off towards the direction that Leliana pointed to. Inside her mind was a whirl of emotions that she couldn't quite understand or sort through. All that she knew was that the thought of either one of them winding up getting killed was like a sharp knife in her chest. For some reason, the thought of it being Zevran lying dead a sharper cut than if it were Alistair. Cursing to herself, Riel called out through the thick trees for Zevran. However, the darkness eclipsing the thick trees around their camp prevented even her superior elven sight from seeing much past the light of their fire.

"Zevran! Where are you, you flaming elf?!"

A few tense moments passed where Riel debated what to do. She could go back to the fire and fashion a torch to go look for potential bodies, or she could try her luck with just her elven sight to guide her. Who knows how long it would take to find and fashion a torch though? Moments when either of them could be bleeding to death in the dark forest.

A minute later, Riel sighed audibly when she heard the crunching of leaves and twigs as a notably irritable looking Alistair came stomping out from the trees. Piercing her with a glare, he just walked back to his tent without saying a word. As the seconds ticked by and no one else showed, Riel's anxiety increased higher until she a single second away from marching into the forest on her own.

However before Riel could place one foot in front of the other, Morrigan slipped from the shadows and walked up to her, a look of sinister delight on her face. She gave a sly wink to Riel, her signature coy smile on her lips as she walked back over to her own fire pit on the opposite side of the camp.

_What in the name of Beyond is going on here?_

"Ahh, my dear Warden. You called for me? I have to admit, that is not exactly how I imagined that you would be screaming out my name, but alas, I will take what I can." Riel turned back from where her other two companions had come from to see the attractive elf walk towards her, his arms full of various sizes of wood.

"Uh... Y-Yes..." Riel stuttered softly, admonishing herself mentally for getting caught for the moment in the strange sparkle in the young assassin's eyes. Turning her head away, she desperately tried to hide the blush that she felt come to her face. Her eyes searching for something to latch onto other than the beguiling look he gave to her, Riel spied the bedroll in her arms. Her mind suddenly finding traction in her original purpose of trying to find the assassin in the first place. "Here. W-We don't have any e-extra tents right now, but you will fine with this until we reach Denerim in two days," she replied, practically tossing the bedroll at him.

Zevran caught it with one hand while still holding onto the twigs in the other, a smile never leaving his handsome face. "You are too kind, my Warden. However, I was hoping to perhaps be sharing your tent with you..."

Her earlier embarrassment lying forgotten in the fury that roared to life from his insinuation, Riel laid a lethal glare at him. "You will do  **no such thing** ,  _assassin_! I am not here to... to-to play to your whims, I am here to lead an army against a Blight!" Riel was gesturing wildly her hands as she spat out the words in an angry and venomous tone. And yet despite her reaction, the other elf just continued to smile at her as if he  _enjoyed_  angering her! Riel paused, her pride refusing to give him the satisfaction of her continued rage. Taking a breath to calm herself, she willed her fury under control even as she still glared at his smiling face. "Now, while I have you here," she said stiffly, her tone sharp despite her efforts to be calm. "Until such a time when I say otherwise, under  **no** circumstance are to you leave this camp without informing me. I have enough to worry about without having to think you are waiting in the shadows to take another shot at my throat."

"Ah. I see you are still a bit mad about that," Zevran replied in a contrite tone of voice. "However, after meeting you and seeing the rare treasure that you are, I have to admit that it would be an absolute disgrace to mar that pretty and tempting throat of yours," he replied, his voice becoming thick with emotion for a moment. "Yet, I will do as you ask. After all, knowing when I leave to bathe will allow you plenty of time to sneak away and stare luridly at my naked body," Zevran laughed, giving her a suggestive wink to match his words. And as he watched Riel's face turn deeper shades of red, he wondered silently to himself if she was as beautiful when enthralled by passion and not just embarrassment or anger.

"H-How d-dare- I-... There is... Wh...  **Ughh!** " Riel's temper flared as she stormed off towards her tent again. Muttering to herself, Riel knew she had to put some distance between the two of them. As it was, she was far too tempted she was to just gut the presumptuous elf where he stood for even  _ **daring**_  to speak to her like that!  _There was no way that I would ever...!_ her mind raged as entered her tent and sat down heavily on her bedroll.

Sitting cross-legged in her tent, Riel mentally went over all the ways she wanted to kill the elven bastard. However, a sudden and unbidden image of Zevran naked in the water placed itself front and center in her mind's eye. Feeling her face flush once again, Riel banished the traitorous thought from her mind and took out her whetstone, wherein she started angrily sharpening the blades of her daggers. Never once in her life had she felt more embarrassed and angry at the same time!  _What was it about him?_

* * *

****Outside in Camp****

* * *

Zevran couldn't help but smile broadly at how flustered he had managed to get his Warden. He knew teasing her as he did would probably end badly for him, but the fire that sparked in her eyes whenever she was furious at him was far too alluring to not be tempted by. Plus the way that her skin flushed whenever he got her angry added such a beautiful glow to her skin. His mind begging to know if her face and neck would flush so deeply while in the midst of passionate lovemaking.

Chuckling to himself as realized his previous wish for death had no morphed into a completely different form. Instead of wishing to die in battle as any Crow should, Zevran now found himself begging for death by the lovely hands of the female Warden herself, it seemed. Well, at least his last sight would be her beautiful face looking down at him. A fitting end for someone such as he, Zevran mused. And one not entirely disagreeable to him, he realized. Even the looks of disdain mixed with shock on the faces of his new comrades were not enough to wipe the silly grin from his face.

"I don't know what you said to her, but you should consider yourself lucky to still have your head, Zevran."

Zevran looked over at the red-haired beauty who spoke, not being able to keep himself from comparing the two women in his mind. Before that fateful battle, Zevran could see the beauty in most of the women that he came across. Lust was an emotion of the present, never lasting longer than the woman's presence or current bedding. Each woman holding their own charms, he could easily find himself imagining what each might look like amidst the throes of passion or wrapped tightly in his arms. However, since the moment that he had first looked into the silver eyes of his savior, all Zevran could think about was her. Even the witch Morrigan, who surely was beautiful enough in her own right, couldn't make his mind wander into more lustful activities.

"I think maybe that my charm is not taken as well as it usually is with our dear Warden. Perhaps I must try a different approach,  _no_?"

" **No.** "

Overhead, Zevran heard the familiar voice of the male Warden. Looking up from his seated position by the fire, Zevran was sure that he should have felt some form of apprehension at the armored warrior standing next to him. With a scowl on his face and his arms folded over his grey breastplate, the warrior was no doubt intimidating to most who would view such a look coming from him. Yet for as much as the beautiful Riel compelled and enticed him, this young Templar was like friction against his skin.

Like an animal with its hackles raised, Zevran couldn't help but feel on guard and uneasy around the human. There was just something about him that raised Zevran's ire, and told him to be cautious, despite his young and naive appearance. And yet at the same time, that very presence which begged caution also brought out a strong desire to mock and poke at the Templar. A desire Zevran was more than happy to oblige to.

"I agree."

Zevran looked over to where the deep baritoned voice originated. "Well, the giant speaks, after all!" The giant called Sten now stood just to the side of Leliana, his stance mimicking Alistair's. Both men having their arms crossed over their chests and glaring murderously towards Zevran.

"The job of the Grey Wardens is to defeat the Blight, not dally with elven assassins," Sten continued, his deep glare not abating despite Zevran's wide smile in response.

"Oh boys! Enough! You both should know that Riel has never even looked at a man since we have met her. And Zevran is harmless enough, aren't you?" Leliana stated, interrupting the scowling contest the two warriors were waging. With her inner roguish charm on full display, Leliana looked over at Zevran and winked at him, even as she continued stirring the pot that contained their evening meal.

"Like a kitten!" stated Zevran with a broad smile, his arms opening up wide as he feigned innocence.

"Hmph!" was all Sten said as he went back to being lookout for the moment.

"Besides, you both should know more than most how well our dear leader reacts to men. She might just beat you to killing him if he is not careful," added Leliana with a giggle.

"We can only hope," Alistair muttered and he took a seat on the other side of the fire.

"Ahh! A challenge! And what is life without the threat of death?"

The two human companions just stared at him for a moment before chuckling to themselves.

* * *

****Inside Riel's Tent****

* * *

Riel heard their laughter outside and sighed. At least them laughing was better than the horrible tension that existed a moment ago. Gritting her teeth, Riel unbuckled her armor and placed it neatly in a pile by her bed. Later, after they had all eaten and gone their own ways for the night, she would go out and get whatever food was left. If there wasn't any, it wasn't a big deal in her mind. It wouldn't be the first time that she went hungry for a night. Afterwards, Riel planned that she would go and relieve Sten of watch duty and take over for him. Originally she had planned on having Morrigan take over, however Riel doubted that she would able to sleep with their newest addition still fairly untrustworthy.

Besides, talking with Zevran brought up too many old feelings that she didn't want to deal with. Feelings attached to memories that still cut her deeply, even after all the years that had now passed. Memories of chains and whips and the cold laughter of the men overtop her while she cried, begging for the mercy of death.


	3. Tainted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Parts of this chapter is taken directly from the game, during the Dalish Elf origin story. All credit for those parts goes to Bioware.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, and I would appreciate any reviews!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Fenedhis: Elvhen. A common curse.
> 
> Lethallan/Lethallin: Elvhen. "Clansmen" or "one who is familiar". "Lethallan" is for females, while "Lethallin" is for males.
> 
> Shemlen/Shem: Elvhen. Literally "quick children". The original name of the Elves for the human race. Often used in a derogatory sense.
> 
> Elvhen: What the Ancient Elves called themselves.
> 
> Mar'inuth era'harel: Elvhen. "May demons dwell inside of you eternally."
> 
> Fen'Harel: Elvhen. "Dreaded/feared wolf." One of the Elvhen gods. A trickster and deceiver. Also the name of Riel's mabari.
> 
> Eluvian: Elvhen. Mirror. "Seeing glass."
> 
> Seth'lin: Elvhen. Thin blood. Used as an insult.
> 
> Mythal: Elven goddess of motherhood and protection.

 

_Somewhere in the Brecilian Forest_

The bright sun was already beginning to cast long shadows upon the ground by the time that Riel finally spotted the buck. She had been tracking the deer for almost a mile through the forest since earlier that day. Beside her, her clanmate Tamlen readied his bow and took careful aim. However, before he could let the arrow fly, the deer ran off through the bushes.

" _Fenedhis_!" Riel cursed as she watched the deer sprint away.

"Listen,  _lethallan_! Something comes!" Tamlen hissed. Riel readied her dagger as the two elves ducked down behind a tree just as two human males came bursting through the brush. Tamlen stood and took aim at the taller of the humans, stopping them in their tracks.

"It's a Dalish!" one of the men cried out.

"And you two are somewhere that you shouldn't be," Tamlen replied coldly.

"Let us pass elf! You have no right to stop us!" the other human angrily stated.

"No? We'll see about that, won't we?" Tamlen eyed the humans carefully. They appeared unarmed, but one could never be too careful when it came to deceptive and dangerous humans. "What are you doing lurking in the bushes? Are you bandits?"

Off to the side and out of sight, Riel hid behind a tree, frozen by her fear. Even with Tamlen having his bow trained on one of them, Riel still couldn't seem make herself move. Memories of her past came back to her, and with them came all the pent up anger and rage that they caused her. With the images of the men who hurt her locked in her mind, Riel took hold of her dagger and silently made her way behind the men.

"We aren't bandits! I swear!" the taller human cried out.

"Then what are you doing here?"

"We didn't come here to make trouble! We just found a cave!"

"Yes! A cave! With ruins that I have never seen before!" the other human added. "We thought that there might be uh..."

"Treasure? So you are more akin to thieves than bandits. You Shemlen are pathetic. It's hard to believe that you once drove us from our homeland," scoffed Tamlen.

"We've done nothing to you, Dalish! We didn't even know this forest was yours!"

"This forest isn't ours, you fool. You've stumbled too close to our camp. You Shemlen are like vermin; you can't be trusted to not make mischief."

"Look! We have proof! Here, I found this just inside the ruins!" the taller human hurriedly stated before handing Tamlen a small piece of stone. Looking at it, Tamlen gasped as he recognized the writing.

"This stone has carvings on it. Is this Elvish?  _Written_ Elvish?" Tamlen's eyes went wide as he looked carefully at the stone.

"There is more inside the ruins! We didn't get very far through..."

"Why not?" Again Tamlen raised his bow at the humans, his arrow pointed directly at the heart of the taller one.

"There was a demon!"

"Demon?" Again Tamlen scoffed, clearly not buying the story completely.

"T-th-there are demons!" the taller one spurted out.

"Where is this cave?"

"To the west! Not far from he- egh!" the shorter man groaned painfully as Riel suddenly appeared behind him and slit his throat with her dagger.

"What the-?" the other human's voice was cut off by Tamlen's arrow lodging deep in his chest, sending him down to the ground dead.

"Filthy Shemlens!" Riel cursed as she looked down at the two men. Tamlen sighed heavily and walked over to her.

"You didn't have to kill him, Riel."

"You killed one too, Tamlen."

"Only because he would have attacked after you killed his friend!" Tamlen shook his head and cursed. "The Keeper must hear of this," he sighed as he pulled his arrow free from the human's chest. "We should head back and tell her what happened."

"Not yet." Riel bent over and wiped her blade clean on one of the human's shirts. "We should check to see if there really are ruins first."

"By the Creators, Riel! What if there are more Shemlens there?"

"Then we kill them, too."

"You are mad! They said there were demons!"

"Oh stop your whining, Tamlen! What good is telling the Keeper if there is nothing to tell? Wouldn't she want to know if there really are ruins nearby, anyway?"

Tamlen looked hard at his clan mate and grumbled under his breath. He knew there was no use arguing with her. Riel was the most stubborn woman that he had ever met. Even more stubborn than the Keeper. And she never followed any of the rules set out by the Keeper or the other elders, either. Yet the Keeper insisted on giving the young woman more time. Even though after being with the clan for nearly three years, still no one really knew much about her.

"Go back to the Keeper if you wish, but I want to search for these ruins. If there are demons, than the Keeper should know about it right away."

Riel turned and started making her way through the brush that the humans had come from, not even waiting to see if Tamlen was following her or not. In truth, she was far too agitated to head back to the clan right now. It had been several years since she had last seen a human, and seeing the two men brought back too many memories for her.

The two of them walked for at least half an hour, yet they didn't see any cave opening or indication of any ruins nearby. Tamlen wanted to head back, but he couldn't leave Riel out here by herself. The stubborn set of her jaw told him that they could be out here all day and still Riel wouldn't give up. Only the coming darkness of night would finally send Riel back to their camp. And him, being the fool that he was, would follow her as she searched this old forests, no matter how much he may have disagreed with her.

Despite her anger and her strange ways, Riel was still beautiful to him. The scar that ran the length of her face didn't deter one bit from her beauty, nor did the scowl that she usually held whenever others were around. And on the rare occurrence that she smiled, by the Creators, did Tamlen fall even more for her. And the rare smiles only made the ones she did have all the more sweeter and beautiful. So when the Keeper asked him to go with her while they hunted today, Tamlen couldn't believe his luck!

Usually Riel preferred to hunt alone, but they have yet to come this far south when they traveled through these forests. This part of the forest was still unknown to her, and the Keeper wanted to make sure that she wouldn't get lost. Riel objected at first, and fought against the Keeper's council, but Tamlen was only too happy to come along.

Stubborn though she may be, the Keeper was the only person who could reason with Riel, and was the only person the troubled Dale ever really listened to. Still, it was no secret that many in the clan even wanted her banished, thinking her far too damaged to live with them.

The sad part is, they were right.

As much as she fought, a part of Riel craved death. A way to end the pain that burned her alive each day she lived. The memories and the nightmares of her former life stealing away any will to live or hope for the future. The only thing that kept her alive was her stubbornness. A fire inside of her that refused to go away, and only pushed her harder to live each day.

"I don't get it. Do you think that they were lying? We've went through this area twice now and I do not see anything that resembles a cave at all..." Riel huffed angrily. She was hoping to find something to bring back to the Keeper. A way of apology for her rude behavior that morning. Riel knew that the Keeper loved the old tales, and any artifact or story of the Elvhen history always brought joy to the aging woman. And so Riel had hoped to bring her back something to help ease the tension that Riel always seemed to create no matter how hard she tried.

"I don't see anything around here,  _lethallan_. Maybe we should... Riel!"

"Aggh!" Riel called out as suddenly the earthen floor beneath her feet gave way and she began to fall. With the speed and agility known only to elves, Tamlen reached out and grabbed hold of Riel before she fell more than foot, keeping her from crashing down through the hole that had opened up.

"Let go of me!" Riel cursed out as she struggled against Tamlen's hold on her upper arm.

"Stop struggling, Riel! You are going to fall!"

Riel's mind was spinning as her anxiety rose past tolerable levels. Below her was a fall of several feet into a darkened and unknown area below ground. Above her was her greatest trigger - to be roughly handled by not just another person, but a man on top of it. Riel's heart beat furiously in her chest, and at that moment she didn't care if Tamlen dropped her into an abyss. Anything would be better than her inner fears coming back to assault her.

Groaning with effort, Tamlen strained as he fought against not only gravity, but Riel's struggling as he pulled her out of the large hole that nearly swallowed her up. When he finally had her above ground, Tamlen fell backwards, pulling Riel with him. Awkwardly, she landed on his chest, her nose just an inch away from his own. At first her eyes went wide with shock, before quickly turning to intense and paralyzing fear. Frantically she scrambled off of Tamlen, not even noticing the deep red blush that colored Tamlen's cheeks.

"I told you to  **never**  touch me, Tamlen!" Riel screamed out in near hysterics.

"You would have fallen if I didn't grab a hold of you!" rebuffed Tamlen as he stood, his own anger and annoyance showing. He knew that Riel had a thing about being touched, and that even the Keeper had warned the others of the camp to never lay their hands upon her for any reason. Tamlen had even personally witnessed Riel attack a few members of their clan after they unthinkingly touched her arm or shoulder. But still, he thought that she would at least be a  _little_  bit grateful for saving her life.

_****CRACK**** _

"Don't  _ **ever**_ touch me again!  _Mar'inuth era'harel_!" Riel spat out angrily to Tamlen, who now laid on his back at her feet.

"Your curses are getting better at least,  _lethallan_ ," Tamlen grumbled as he massaged his jaw. "And so is your right hook...Oww..."

The more rational part of Riel knew that she was overreacting. It told her that she would have been likely incredibly injured if not dead had Tamlen not grabbed hold of her when he did. Yet the part of her that was still so very traumatized by her past was in control of her emotions and actions now. The memory of being manhandled and abused by her former masters ruled her mind as she paced uneasily around the hole in the ground.

"Riel... I-..." Tamlen stuttered as he got to his feet. He wanted to apologize to her, but he didn't know how without making her even more angry at him.

"Just forget about it, Tamlen," Riel cursed softly under her breath.

"I've been meaning to ask you, though... Why don't you-"

"If you want stories to entertain yourself, ask Paivel when we get back to camp!" Riel snapped, her silver eyes spearing him with heated anger.

An awkward silence filled the space between them as Tamlen tried to find the words to calm Riel down. The last thing he wanted was for her to be angry at him, yet he still didn't regret doing what he did to save her. It didn't matter if she was angry at him, as long as she was alive to do so.

"Do you... still want to check out the ruins?" Tamlen asked wearily, unsure of her reaction.

Riel rolled her eyes at her fellow elf and walked towards the hole that she nearly fell through. Being careful not to fall in again, she looked carefully around the edge, trying to peer through the darkness below. It was useless, however, as even the light from above barely seemed to make a dent in the thick darkness of the area below her feet.

"We're going to need a torch. I have my fire starting kit, so all we need is some moss and a stick."

Tamlen went about searching for the materials that they would need, making sure to give Riel a wide berth as he looked around for suitable moss and wood. Finally he gathered enough for two torches, and Riel went to work setting them alight. When both we blazing strongly, Riel approached the hole in the ground and dropped one of the torches inside.

"It doesn't seem that far down," Riel guessed, her mouth a thin a line. "Maybe only ten feet or so?"

"I don't know, Riel. Creators know what is down there. The Shems said that they saw demons. Who knows what else..."

Riel ignored the older elf's uneasy warnings and slowly lowered herself down through the hole. Above ground, Tamlen cursed profusely, pacing back and forth while he debated what to do. Inwardly, he knew that he should return to his clan and tell the Keeper of what they had found. Yet he couldn't very leave Riel alone here. Pulling at his hair in frustration, Tamlen said a final curse to Fen'harel, before denying his own better instincts and following Riel down the hole.

Riel landed with a slight grunt before quickly pulling out her dagger and looking around. Being in these ruins gave a thrill to her as she carefully eyed every shadow and corner for signs of enemies. For once she was not just sitting on the side of history as she heard the stories of her people being retold, but actually being a part of it. Tamlen landed beside her a few moments later, being quick to notch an arrow in his bow as he scanned the small room that they were in.

"By the Creators! What is this place?" Tamlen asked, looking around the shadowy ruins. Instead of answering, Riel picked up the torch beside her and began walking along the walls of the room.

Interspersed with elaborate designs of vines and forestry, there were obvious markings grouped together in various areas. Holding up the torch to one of the groupings, Riel squinted as she tried to make out what they meant. The Keeper had been teaching her how to read and write the King's Tongue, and even a bit of what little they knew of the old Elvhen language. Yet these markings were different than what she remembered. Still, the words called out to her, almost as if she could hear them being spoken in her mind.

_Beware. Danger. War. Elvhen. Human. Eluvian._

It was the last word resounded within her the most. In the heavily bound and aging book the Keeper would sometimes look through, occasionally Riel would see a word that looked almost like the one etched here in the wall. And each time that Riel saw the word, a deep stirring within her would awaken. Something quiet, yet persistent. And now, here it was the same word, only the stirring inside of her was stronger than ever before. Whatever it was, it called out to her from deep within the ruins they now treaded. Reverently, Riel reached up and placed tentative fingers along the curves and etches of the markings on the wall.

"I wonder what it says?"

"This way," Riel whispered to her companion, slightly annoyed at him for breaking her concentration. Opening the door nearby, she quietly led both of them down the twisting halls and further into the ruins. Around them were various skeletons, broken pottery, and other debris that cluttered the floor. Many passages themselves were heavily draped in thick webbing, both from time and no doubt from the spiders that they could sometimes hear scurry in the distance.

"I-I-I think... I think we-we should head back, Riel," Tamlen stuttered as they passed by yet another skeleton that still hanging by the web that encased it.

Riel ignored him and instead followed the inner voice that was calling her deeper. Melodic and sweet, the humming in her ears reverberated down to her very blood as they went deeper into the ruins. It echoed along the halls, guiding her and pulling on her spirit with each step she took. Minutes dragged on until Tamlen lost all sense of how long that they were down there, yet Riel refused to stop or even speak more than a few short clipped words. They were so close now, she could feel it. In her mind, it was too late to turn back now anway. She needed to see what it was that pulled on her very soul.

Around the next bend is when they saw the doors. The entryway was massive; easily able to fit three people side by side between the large frames. Made out of a mixture of metal and wood, they were engraved with the same words that Riel saw in the first chamber. Dire warnings spelled out in deep etchings along both massive doors, yet Riel refused to heed them. Somewhere behind these doors came the source of the humming that she heard since entering the these ruins. Handing her torch to Tamlen, Riel approached the door. Laying her hands on the handles of the door, Riel was shocked to find that they seemed warm despite so many years of not being used. Taking a moment to examine the door, Riel summoned her strength and began to push, grunting with the effort to get them to budge.

"Is that really a good idea, Riel? Who knows what is behind there?" Tamlen whispered to her, fear making his voice thick and hard.

"Shut up,  _seth'lin_ , and help me open this door!" cursed Riel between grunts as she pressed hard against the doors.

Tamlen muttered a mixture of curses and prayers before putting the torches down on the ground and helping Riel with the doors. With the two of them pushing, a deep groan of wood and metal running against each other could be heard as the doors started to move. Dust and dirt that had built up for centuries fell down on them as the doors slowly swung open.

Inside past the doors, the room opened into a large circle, with a raised portion in the center. Scattered about was more broken refuse and crumbling stone. Large sections of the roof were even lying on the floor as the deep roots of the forest trees from above had invaded the ruins. As it was, it didn't look like the room would last much longer under the onslaught of nature. Yet for the moment, it seemed as relatively stable as the rest of the ruins. Although saying that didn't mean very much.

Yet it was the center of the room that caught and held Riel's sole attention. Raised up on an elaborate platform, was an extravagant and beautifully adorned full length mirror. The frame of the mirror was carved to look like wooden vines, with various jewels that glittered brightly that were embedded into the wood. The wood itself looked well aged, yet as smooth as finely made glass. Rubies, emeralds, and ambers gave the dark wood a rainbow of color as they adorned the frame in the shapes of autumn leaves.

Despite the obvious beauty of the frame, the most intriguing thing of all was the reflection that the mirror gave. As Riel looked into the mirror, her image seemed to bubble and move in strange ways. It was if the glass inside was alive as it stared back at her.

"Riel... We should leave!" Tamlen stated nervously as he stood by the door.

However Riel was too lost in the image of the mirror to hear him. Transfixed, only she and the mirror existed in her mind. The voice that had been leading her down the halls suddenly took form within her mind, begging her to touch the image that she saw flowing in the glass. The voice grew needful, urging her onwards as Riel moved closer to the mirror.

 _Touch me_  the voice ordered, it's soft murmurs more persuasive to be only a request. It was if there was no other choice for Riel than to place her hand on the surface of the mirror.  _Compelling. Overwhelming. Commanding._  These were all words to describe the voice in Riel's head as she moved ever closer to the mirror.

Reaching out her arm, Riel was transfixed, compelled by this voice that was not her own, yet spoke sweetly and softly to her from somewhere deep inside of her. Just a hair's breadth from touching the shivering glass, Riel's hand froze as sheer terror suddenly filled her. The image that she reached out for morphed and swirled, changing from a reflection of herself to a demon with cold and piercing red eyes.

Riel screamed, backing away from the mirror, and running straight into the hulking mass of a demon of hunger behind her.

The demon laughed as it delivered a strong blow to Riel's face, sending her flying. Around her, the once empty room had now erupted with demons and shades. And in their midst, there stood Tamlen, fighting bravely against the mass of spirits. With sure aim, he took down several of the demons surrounding him, yet he was quickly running out of arrows. Horrified, Riel watched as the demons began to play with him, batting and pushing him around, taking their time before they killed him. Pulling out her dagger, Riel lunged at the closest demon, sinking her blade deep into its back. The creature screamed out in pain as it spun around, knocking Riel clear across the room. With a loud grunt, all the air in her lungs left her as she smashed against the far wall, then fell down to the ground below in a crumpled heap.

"Tamlen!" Riel screamed desperately as she again tried to stand. However, her voice pulled Tamlen's attention away from the demons he fought and towards her direction, where for a brief second he seemed relieved to see her. Yet the moment was stolen by one of the demon's impaling him through the chest from behind. His relief quickly shifting to shock, then bitter agony as he looked down at the protrusions coming from his chest. The bow slipped from his hands and fell down to the ground as Tamlen was raised up in the air by the demon behind him.

Riel watched in horror as the light from Tamlen's eyes faded and he slumped in the demon's grasp. Hot tears rushed down Riel's face as her fear turned swiftly to anger. Forcing herself to stand, she regarded the demons before her with a cold glare; her chest heaving with the intensity of her fury. Underneath her skin, Riel could feel a burning sensation begin to light her very blood on fire. Starting in her chest, it quickly expanded to rest of her body, coursing through her veins until the heat of it nearly consumed her. Riel tightly closed her eyes as the fire that she normally had kept so carefully hidden within her finally escaped from her very skin.

" **Tamlen!** " Riel cried out in vicious fury as the flames leapt from her. The sound of her voice echoed around the small room, melding with the screams of the demons as they were set on fire and burnt to ash by her powers.

The resulting cacophony became the sound of nightmares and the evils of the night that mothers warn their children of. It filled every corner of the room and through the halls beyond, overcoming any other sound that could be heard.

Then it was quiet again. The fire was gone, and she was alone in the room. Exhausted, Riel collapsed down to the ground, weak and unable to even lift her head. Defeated, she closed her eyes, letting the darkness of unconsciousness claim her.

Some time later, Riel opened her eyes to see a human man kneeling over her, shaking her. His voice was muffled, and Riel could only make out a few words that he was said to her. Somehow he knew her name, and seemed to know of Tamlen as well. All of it seemed so distant though, as if she was underwater looking up at the world. Riel tried to speak; to tell this human to leave her alone. Yet whatever she had done had left her so weakened, she could barely keep her eyes open. Seeing her struggle, the human tried to reassure her, saying something about 'wardens'. Whatever he meant, he quickly disappeared from her sight, then the sound Riel heard next was that of a loud crash. As if lightning itself cracked in the earthen room, and even in her weakened state, it made Riel cringe at the sound of it.

The human then returned, and in one swift move, Riel was up in his arms, being carried out of the ruins. Riel tried to fight back. With useless arms she tried to push the human man away from her. Yet it seemed like all her energy had burned away along with the fire that came from her.

Riel's last memory of the ruins was of a bitter and terrifying fear of again being trapped in chains, at the mercy of another human. To be used and abused once more. And this time, there would be no escape for her. As her eyes closed, Riel made a silent prayer to Mythal to please protect her.

And if she were to end up in chains to another master, to then please just kill her now.

It was better to be dead, than be a slave once more.


	4. Dreams and Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi flor hermosa: Antivan. "My beautiful flower."
> 
> Mi amiga bella: Antivan. "My beautiful friend."

Riel came awake with a start, the images of her dreams quickly fading from her mind. Covered in sweat, she braced her head in her hands as she shuddered deeply. Strangely, this was the first time in many months that had dreamed of Tamlen and what had transpired within the underground ruins near where her clan camped. When Duncan had found her, she was delirious with fever and nearly dead, yet the Keeper managed to beat back the taint that crawled within her veins. At least, for a time. Somehow, the mirror that she and Tamlen had found became tainted by Darkspawn, and that taint had transferred to her when she got close to it, nearly killing her. If it wasn't for the human Warden, Duncan, she would have died down in those ruins.

A part of her had even wished that she had.

Instead Riel was tainted with their foul corruption. A living death awaited her, even with the powerful magics that her Keeper had used on her. Riel's only hope was to travel with Duncan down south to Ostagar, where she would become a Grey Warden. It wasn't a cure, but it would grant her years to live instead of dying painfully in just days. In exchange, she would be required to hunt and kill Darkspawn wherever they hid; a task looked on with as much honor as fear by the many peoples of Ferelden. And at Ostagar, at the edge of the Kocari Wilds, she would help the other Wardens there beat back the growing horde of Darkspawn and end the coming Blight.

Yet despite the king's jubilant optimism, the battle had ended horrifically. Their forces were abandoned by their reinforcements, and most of those gathered were killed, including Duncan and the human leader, King Cailen. It was only because of Morrigan's mother did Riel and Alistair manage to survive the slaughter and carnage that became of that night. And now the deserter, Loghain, spread vicious rumors and lies about the Wardens, saying they were the cause of the defeat of the armies at Ostagar.

If Riel could, she would gladly sever every limb the bastard had before slowly skinning him alive. She may not have thought much of the human king - or truly much any of the men and women who gathered at Ostagar - but if there was one human that Riel could find herself mourning for, it would be Duncan. In the short time that Riel had known him, he had seemingly done the impossible and gained not only her respect, but her trust. He had shattered her beliefs of all human men being dangerous and evil creatures, if only becoming the single exception to every rule.

During the two weeks that they traveled together to get to Ostagar, Riel and the senior Grey Warden had reached a sort of comfortable peace. As the days wore on, Riel had guessed that the Keeper had told him what little she knew of Riel's past, complete with a warning about being touched. During their travels, not even once did Duncan ever attempt to help her up, or stand too close to her. Always managing to keep a respectable distance from her, Duncan never even walked directly behind her. Little kindnesses such as these chipped away at Riel's cold demeanor as they traveled, allowing her to relax in a way that she never really could back with her clan. And through the long nights that they camped together, Duncan never once asked her personal questions or about her past, with some nights passing by where she barely spoke at all.

The turning point for Riel had come on a rainy afternoon, when they were suddenly attacked by a vicious group of wolves. With only a dagger in hand, she fought as well as she could, yet even with Duncan's superior experience, there seemed no end to the wolves that surrounded them. When Riel lunged forward to stab at a near wolf, a second wolf took the open opportunity and sank his teeth deep into Riel side. Pain flooded her, yet still she fought, slashing at the wolf that bit her. The rain poured down in heavy sheets, washing away the blood that poured forth from her wound and made the ground beneath her soggy and uneven. When only a few wolves remained, Riel felt her strength leave her. Dizzy from blood loss, she misjudged her dodge and fell backwards to the ground.

However, Riel didn't feel the pain of the ground rushing up to meet her. As quick as lightning, Duncan was there, cradling her gently in his arms. Carefully he laid her down before turning and quickly dispatching the remaining wolves faster than Riel could keep track of. Once the wolves were dead, he came over to her and kneeled beside her, pulling a small vial from his belt. Bracing herself on the jagged rock beside her - one that most assuredly would have killed her had Duncan not prevented her from falling - Riel took the vial and gulped it down greedily.

As the healing potion began to work, never did Duncan scold her or even offer her help in standing up. Without a word, he simply smiled warmly down at her before standing and gathering up their supplies. Not even chastising her to be more careful while they fought, Duncan just waited calmly while the potion did its work and Riel was able to stand again.

That was also the night that Duncan began showing her how to wield two daggers instead of just one. After they had made camp for the night, Duncan broke their usual end of day silence by first speaking of when he was learning how to fight with daggers. How he would fumble with the blade until he learned how to balance the blades just right. His story became a lesson, as he showed her at first how he handled the daggers, then gradually started to fight better. Through the whole recounting, Riel remained silent, yet her attention never wavered from his tale. Duncan spoke in a way that made it seem as if he were just relating an interesting memory from his youth, yet in truth he showed Riel with his own blades how he eventually became a master at dual wielding.

Later that night, Riel offered to take first watch. And when Duncan had laid down to sleep, Riel set to work practicing what he had shown her. One some level, Riel knew that Duncan only pretended to be asleep as she fumbled and cursed softly as she worked with the daggers. Yet it didn't bother her like it normally would have. He let her practice in solitude, granting her a measure of respectful privacy as she learned the new style.

That was when Riel started to truly respect the man. Duncan never coddled her, or make her feel weak or inadequate. When they fought, she was expected to hold her own, just like any other fighter. And at night around their small fire, Duncan would speak of tales of his youth, interlaced with small tricks or pointers on how to better use the daggers that Riel equipped. At one point she was even sure that Duncan fashioned his stories purely to help her, as the troubles he sometimes spoke of while learning to wield two daggers, were exactly the troubles that she was having at the moment. Yet he never once made it seem like he was teaching her anything. And as the days passed, Riel grew steadily better with her blades thanks to his stories.

Duncan may have been human, but he was a good man. Better than any Riel had ever known. And when they had finally reached the ruins of Ostagar, Riel found that she was actually sad that her private time with the senior Grey Warden was over. Back to the cruel realities of what humans were like, with even the Quartermaster thinking that she was just a lowly servant and threatening to beat her! Thankfully Duncan wasn't that far away, or else the army would had to have found another man to sell the people supplies.

That was also when Riel met Alistair. Another Grey Warden, Riel had hoped that he would be like Duncan. Yet the first time she encountered him, he was antagonizing a human mage about Chantry business. It also didn't help how he immediately thought to start flirting with her. And their relationship went downhill from there.

Lacking any of the sense, decency, or calm intelligence that Riel had grown accustomed to from Duncan, Alistair was crass, idiotic, and often paid little attention to how much his words upset her at times. Maybe he wasn't dangerous to her, but he still was just as loathsome as most humans.

And then the unthinkable happened. All their work preparing and planning for their assault on the Darkspawn was lost when Loghain quit the field instead of acting as reinforcements to Cailen's army. Even though Alistair and Riel lit the signal fire on top of the tower, no help came for those fighting down below. As a result, not only was the battle lost, but King Cailen was killed, and worst of all, so was Duncan.

Saved by the witch Morrigan's mother, Riel awoke to the terrible news inside of Flemeth's hut deep within of the Kocari Wilds. With the army defeated and most of the Grey Warden's killed, it was then up to Riel and the bumbling Alistair to now fight against the Blight that threatened the lands. As one last piece of aid to their cause, Flemeth sent her daughter Morrigan with Riel and Alistair as they sought out new allies to rebuild an army.

It seemed like ages had passed since Riel had left her clan to travel with Duncan. In reality, it had only been a couple of weeks since they had left Flemeth's hut in the wilds. First to Lothering where they managed to recruit both Leliana and the giant Sten. It was there that they had also learned of the ailing health of the Arl of Redcliff. A knight searching for information had stopped of at the town's Chantry where Riel and her group had encountered him. He told them that the arl had suddenly fallen sick, and the only way to save him was to find the fabled "Urn of Sacred Ashes". Only, no one knew where this urn was. The only man who might have had any clues to its location had disappeared himself, although he was last seen in Denerim.

Distraught over the arl's health, Riel had promised Alistair that they would hurry to Denerim to try and find this Genitivi, or any clues that would lead their group to him. Which was what they were doing now. Although, it wasn't going to be easy. Denerim was the ruling capital of Ferelden, and where Loghain's forces would be strongest. They would need to be careful not to be seen or risk imprisonment or even death if they were caught. Who knows how far Loghain's lies had spread or how many of the people believed them. But it must be done. If what the knight at Lothering said was true, their only hope of curing the arl - and gaining his much needed help against Loghain - was to find Genitivi and these ashes.

Sighing deeply, Riel found the rag that she used as a towel, and the brush that she liked to use on her hair. As she exited her tent, her eyes immediately searched out the lone figure standing watch as the rest of the camp slept. Spotting Sten's huge frame several yards away, Riel merely nodded her head in greeting as his steely eyes met her own.

The early morning light barely lit her way as Riel made her way to a small creek that ran close to their camp. While traveling with Duncan, Riel had gotten in the habit of always trying to camp somewhere close to water. Not only did it have a practical use as a source of water for cooking and bathing, but Riel enjoyed the simple act of listening to the water as it rushed along the ground. The soft sound comforted her, reminding her of the clan who had adopted her after she ran from her old captors. The Dalish were close to all nature, and respected it fully. Water was one of the many gifts of the Creators, and finding good, clean water was always a sign of good fortune amongst her people.

Riel sat down near the edge of the stream and rinsed out the old rag before using it to scrub her face. The cold freshness helped to banish any lingering thoughts of her nightmares, and the cool breeze across her skin helped revitalize her. Without any soap, Riel did the best that she could to wash herself down, making note of any injuries that she may have suffered from yesterday's attack. Morrigan had cast a healing spell on her after the fight was over, but even magic didn't cure everything.

Normally this time of the morning was quiet, as most things were either not awake yet, or just beginning to go to sleep. The quiet peacefulness of the early morning was something that Riel relished, especially while traveling with so many people that she barely knew. Often awakened by her own nightmares, any thought of sleep was driven away by the time the sun barely started to be seen above the horizon. With only herself awake besides the single guard standing watch, Riel would spend the mornings planning out the upcoming day in quiet relaxation.

This morning, however, it seemed as if her normal morning solitude was not to be her's. A twig cracked behind her, alerting Riel that she was no longer alone. Spinning around, Riel readied herself for an attack and cursed at herself for forgetting her daggers back in her tent. She had other means to defend herself, but she preferred to only use that if absolutely necessary. Besides, Riel still had the small hunting knife in her boot that she could easily to slit the throat of any would-be attacker.

"Do not worry, my lovely Warden. It is only I, your devoted follower Zevran. I saw you leave the camp and I thought to myself "Zevran", I thought, "just last night she said that she wanted to always know where you were. So, you should go after her so she will know exactly where you are."

"Somehow I doubt that was your motivation for following me out here, Zevran," Riel scoffed as her hand drifted away from the boot that held the hunting knife in it. Turning, Riel faced the creek once more, trying to ignore the other elf as much as possible. Yet as he came closer and kneeled down beside her, his scent surrounded Riel, assaulting her in ways that were both unwanted, yet alluring at the same time.

"Ha, yes, you have seen past my little facade. In truth, I was curious about you, so I thought that maybe I could risk some bodily harm if only to get to know such a beauty as yourself a bit better."

Riel refused to look up at him, yet she could feel his amber gaze bore into her from his position beside her. Sitting by the creek, everything seemed extremely peaceful so early in the morning. Yet now she couldn't help but feel tense and inwardly she cursed at the assassin's closeness. She wanted to send him away; to tell him not to bother to try and get to know her better. She may die tomorrow, after all. So could he.

Suddenly, the thought of the golden skinned assassin dying so soon after they met made Riel's breath catch in her throat.

Why did she care? He was just another man, after all. She could see herself mourning her new friends Leliana or Morrigan, but she couldn't say she would be all too upset over the death of the Qunari or even the fool Alistair. She cared for them as a leader should, and would fight to defend them, but they did not affect her like the women of the camp did. Not like Zevran was proving to. What was it about him?

Riel had convinced herself that she had needed allies against the coming Blight. Comrades to watch her back as she traveled to assemble the army that they needed to defeat the Archdemon. That was why she had originally let the others follow her. She was not stupid, and no matter what she thought of the male gender, she knew they were much needed evil if she were to save her people - and all the other people of Ferelden - from the horror that was the Blight.

So what was it about this elf that made her heart flutter and her cheeks blush? Was it because he was an elf as well? Was it a form of kinship based on them being both elven rogues?

Lost in her thoughts, she didn't even notice when Zevran placed his index finger and thumb on her chin, pulling her face gently so he could look straight at her.

Shock and surprise showed clearly on Riel's face as he held her gaze. Her normal reaction to being touched was to pull out her dagger at anyone who thought that they could touch her so. Even if it was another elf, Riel was determined to never let herself be manhandled and abused by another man. Already, she had suffered too much for her to ever go back to that life. Yet, Riel couldn't bring herself to move under the intense gaze Zevran gave to her. Liquid honey eyes bore into her, seeming to push past all her defenses and down to her core. A place that was still as scarred and broken as it was when she was accepted into the Dalish clan that she called home.

"What troubles you,  _mi flor hermosa_?" Zevran purred gently, he himself lost in the silver eyes of the woman before him. Earlier he had come awake to the noise of someone moving about the camp and was pleasantly surprised to see that it was his rescuer from the day before. Curious about where she went, Zevran had quickly dressed and followed her silently to the small creek that lay close to where they had camped.

At first, Zevran had only intended to watch her beauty from afar, yet he felt that would only distance his Warden from him more if she were to discover him hiding in the shadows watching her. So he risked his life for the chance at perhaps getting a chance to get to know her better. Certainly, Zevran had seen many beauties in his life, some he had the misfortune of having to kill, and some that he did not. Antiva itself was full of beautiful women, selling their wares or their bodies on the streets. More than a few times he had taken one or two to bed with him, seeking their company and pleasure.

Yet none seemed to match the woman in front of him now.

Even with the gruesome scar across her face, there was something ethereal about the female Warden that captured his attention, even from the first time that he saw her come around the bend into the trap that he had set for her and her group. She seemed to have the face of an angel, soft and innocent if you caught her when her guard was down for a moment. However, Zevran had seen those eyes turn to fire when she was angry, her features darkening and her mouth curving into a frown or a snarl. And yet even then, her beauty remained, only more dangerous and wild. It was part of the reason that he found himself stoking her fire when he spoke to her. To see the fire and passion that she held within her eyes... It was truly something to behold.

However, right now, her eyes seemed sad. Tired. Like she carried the world on her slender shoulders and was growing weary from the weight of it all. It touched a part of Zevran's heart that he wasn't quite sure existed. All he knew was that it caused him to want to gather the woman in his arms and take her away from this all, away to where she no longer had to worry about monsters or Darkspawn. Away to where it would only be the two of them, together, hidden away from the world and its troubles.

The urge to lean forward and kiss those luscious lips tempted him beyond reason, yet Zevran held himself in check. He knew that he already gambled with his life by touching her face, yet he couldn't seem to help himself. He needed to look into those eyes. Eyes that had haunted his dreams the previous night.

"You should not be so sad,  _mi amiga bella_. Surely there are many good things to be found, even in this struggle?"

Riel was at a loss. She felt paralyzed by his touch; by the look in his eyes. She couldn't comprehend the look she saw deep in those amber eyes, yet they held her still as she felt her heart rate increase and breath come faster. Only when she felt his hand cross the divide between them and lay lightly on her own did she feel the spell he cast on her break. Quickly she pulled herself away from the tanned and handsome elf, pulling her hunting knife free from her boot and held it toward him in a threatening fashion.

"W-what did I say, assassin? Do  **not**  touch me! Do so again, and I will take something far more precious from you than your life!" Riel threatened as she gazed quickly down between the male elf's legs. Her voice quivered, and she was sure she didn't sound nearly as threatening as she wanted, however she felt her point was made well enough. With her free hand, she gathered up her rag and brush without removing her eyes from the dangerous man in front of her, or dropping her blade from its position.

After another moment of stillness and silence, Riel quickly stood and marched back off towards the camp, leaving Zevran behind, still sitting by the creek. Even with her brandishing a blade at his throat, Zevran could not help but smile at what had just happened. For a moment - a brief, solitary moment - he was able to see her without her guard, without her distrust or anger. And by Andraste's mercy, she was even more beautiful.

It was then and there that Zevran decided that he would wear down his Warden's defenses so that she could at least trust him not to hurt her. Yes, he desired her in ways that were painful, both physically and mentally, but what he found that he wanted most was her trust. Her body...

Well, that could come later, if at all. No, what was more important was being able to fulfill his earlier impulse of wanting to gather her in his arms and wipe away all that hurt her and caused her to worry until none of it was left. This feeling was foreign, and he didn't really understand it himself. But if there was one thing that Zevran had learned many years ago, it was to always follow his instincts.

And right now his instincts told him that he must protect this woman - this goddess, and to find a way to make her smile finally reach those beautiful silver eyes.


	5. Looking for Genitivi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, and I would appreciate any reviews!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi amiga: Antivan. "My friend."
> 
> Saarebas: Qunlat. "Dangerous thing." What the Qunari call their mages.

Hidden in the shadows, Riel and Leliana waited with impatient worry. Already Zevran was a half hour late to meet with them, and as time went on, the more irritable Riel became. Even though the heavy cloak and hood that she wore kept the guards from noticing her, the wool cloth weighed her down under the hot summer sun.

" _Woof_!  _Woof_!" Fen'harel suddenly barked excitedly, alerting the two women to the sounds of someone approaching. Riel fingered her daggers, as her already high anxiety inches even higher. Holding her breath, Riel waited silently as the man finally turned the corner into the alley where they hid. As soon he stepped into view, the great mastiff at their side took off at a run to greet the newcomer despite Riel shouting for him to stay still.

"Yes, yes, it is good to see you too!" Zevran chuckled as he petted the bounding and happy beast.

"You're late, assassin," Riel cursed as he got closer to the waiting women.

"I assure you, my fair lady, that it was with good cause. Not only have I located the house where this Genitivi lives, but I managed to come across an old acquaintance who promised many sovereigns in exchange for some...  _minor_  deeds... done around Denerim."

"That sounds dubious..." Leliana replied softly. "Is this acquaintance anyone that I may know?"

"Perhaps. An elven-blooded human, I met him my first time through Denerim. His information seems good enough, and I figured any gold we could gather would be quite useful. After all, wars are not won with merely papers and nice words. We will need gold, and lots of it, will we not?"

"I don't like you promising my help to people that I don't know, Zevran," Riel hissed angrily.

"I think I know who Zevran is speaking of, and if I am correct, then at the very least his information can be trusted. Slim Couldry may be a squirrelly little bastard, but he hates the nobles of Ferelden more than most. I've never personally had a problem with him."

Riel mulled over the information her two companions gave her. It was true that they needed gold, not just to keep them fed, but to buy new weapons and armor. Already the leathers that Riel wore were torn in several areas, and one of her daggers was getting dangerously dull. After a few moments to weigh her options, Riel sighed and looked at the Antivan elf with resignation in her eyes. "What does he want us to do?"

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

The four of them spent a little under two days in Denerim, traveling around the city following Couldry's leads. It turned out that he wasn't the only one in Denerim who needed help, either. People sympathetic to the Warden's revealed themselves, offering jobs to Riel and her companions in exchange for gold and silver. Even the guard captain had a few odd jobs for them. Silver bars, a bag of jewels, and even a beautifully made sword made their way into Riel's possession thanks to Couldry's leads. In addition to the odd gold that they acquired from the various quests done for the Chantry or Mages Collective, Riel was able to restock all their supplies, as well as buy new equipment for their whole party. She even managed to acquire a finely made set of leathers.

The merchant, Herren, called it the "Felon's Coat". It was hugely expensive, but Leliana refused to allow Riel to leave the store unless Riel bought it for herself.

"You must buy this, Riel! Look how fine the leather is tanned! I bet it will look beautiful on you!"

"Leliana, I'm buying armor to fight in, not some common dress. I don't  _want_  to look beautiful," Riel muttered as she looked over the armor that was displayed on a stand.

"I have to disagree, my lovely Warden. Even while slaying ravenous beasts or deadly and dangerous creatures, you are always beautiful," replied Zevran with a wink. Immediately Riel felt her cheeks redden as Zevran's intense gaze captured her. Beside her, Leliana giggled like a schoolgirl, yet all Riel wanted to do was hide.

"Oh you've got to buy this now!" Leliana laughed as she walked over to Herren, the store's merchant.

Stunned and embarrassed, Riel cursed under her breath as she ran over to Leliana, intending to argue against the purchase. Over the years, Riel had had enough of men's lecherous and unwanted gazes and touches upon her body. The last thing that she wanted to be seen as  _'beautiful'_  or  _'desirable'_. In fact the very idea sent waves of fear and disgust through her.

Yet Leliana would hear none of it. And with Zevran on her side, Riel was lucky to walk out of the store with just the armor. Although Riel had to admit, the armor fit her wonderfully. Her old armor used to scratch and chaff her skin in a few places as she moved. This new armor, however, was soft against her skin and felt light and flexible. Although, the hungry stares that Zevran gave her when she first put it on made Riel feel more than a little uneasy. Thankfully Leliana was there, as always, to help deflect Zevran's powerful gaze away from her.

When their shopping was done, and all the quests that they could do were completed, Riel and her companions finally made their way to the Brother Genitivi's house. Hidden away amongst the turning streets and dark alleyways, the house wasn't that far from the tavern in which they had stayed. Comely and well maintained, from the outside it seemed long empty despite the kept up appearance. Knocking on the door gave no response, making Riel feel as if the house was just another dead end. She was about to leave when she thought that she caught movement through the window.

Knocking on the door again proved no more useful than the first time, so instead Riel took her chances and tried to open it. To her surprise the door opened easily, swinging wide to reveal a modest yet tidy home inside. Beside her, Fen'harel sniffed the air, then growled menacingly. Looking inside, Riel caught glimpse of a man hiding behind a door frame.

"I'm looking for Brother Genitivi. Are you him?" Riel called out into the home. Her fingers twitchinge as she readied herself for attack. "Are you him? We haven't come to cause trouble. We only want to talk."

"A-are you with the T-Templars?" the man called out, his voice laden with fear.

"No, we are not. We have business with the brother," answered Leliana from beside her.

"A-alright... c-come in..." the man's voice wavered unsteadily as he spoke. Shaking from fear, he stepped out from the frame and greeted Riel and her group.

"Are you Brother Genitivi?" asked Riel once they were inside.

"N-no, I'm his assistant Weylon. I work with Genitivi."

"Do you know where he is?"

"Why are looking for him?"

"We are searching for the Urn of Sacred Ashes, and heard that he knew something about them," Riel answered impatiently. There was something about the assistant that bothered her, with a feeling of unease nibbling at her consciousness.

"He was on the trail of the Urn of Sacred Ashes, yes. Whether he found it... the Maker only knows. I haven't seen Brother Genitivi in weeks. He has sent no word; it's so unlike him." Weylon shifted his feet uncomfortably as he looked at each companion before bringing his gaze back to Riel. "I'm afraid something has happened. Genitivi's research into the Urn may have led him into danger."

"Why would searching for this Urn be dangerous?" asked Riel, her unease about the man before her rising.

"Perhaps the Urn has been lost for a reason. I pray for Genitivi's safety, but hope dwindles with each passing day."

"Why have you not sought for help in locating him?" Leliana asked.

"I tried to send help, and some knights came from Redcliff came looking for him not long ago. I sent them after Genitivi and they too have disappeared."

"How do you know that they disappeared?" Zevran questioned, his own suspicions rising.

"Well, they... haven't returned and they have sent no word, either."

"Come now, that doesn't mean that they have disappeared. Perhaps they took this Genitivi to Redcliff,  _no_?"

"I... I don't know. After what happened to Genitivi, can you blame me for thinking that the same thing could happen to the knights?" Weylon was sweating now, his nervousness bleeding through his pores as easily as the sweat dripped from his skin. "Perhaps I am just a pessimist. I hope I am wrong."

"Tell me where they went. I must find the Urn," demanded Riel, her patience wearing thin.

"No, don't ask me where they went! You'll go after them, and what if ill-luck should befall you, too? This search is a curse, on all of us. Some things are not meant to be found. I know that now."

"Stop wasting my time and just tell me where they went!"

"Alright, alright! All he said before he left was that he would be staying at an inn near Lake Calenhad, investigating something in that area."

From beside Riel, Fen'harel starting growling menacingly. "I don't think my hound believes you. And neither do I. You're hiding something, and I want to know what it is," Riel demanded with cold regard. Suddenly the mastiff bounded past Weylon towards the back of the room. There at the door, Fen'harel whined and began pawing at the wooden door, trying to get it open.

"Control your dog, elf! There is nothing behind that door that concerns you or your companions!" Weylon shouted, for the first time showing any real sign of backbone in his demeanor.

"I think he smells something interesting. Hidden secrets, perhaps?" Zevran replied coyly. Still the mastiff pawed at the door, whining and growling softly.

"Just what are you hiding behind that door? My hound seems pretty interested in whatever it is," Riel again demanded, her hands going to her blades.

"That's it! I tried to be reasonable, but you insisted on causing trouble! Andraste forgive me, but I do this in your name!" shouted Weylon a moment before he blasted Riel with a sharp jolt of electricity. Gritting her teeth through the pain, Riel took hold of her daggers and slashed out at the man who attacked her.

"How very rude!" Zevran exclaimed from beside her, using his own blade to nearly decapitate Weylon in a single strike before Riel's blade even got close. "Not even asking us to stay for dinner before he tried to kill us!"

"What was that about?" Leliana questioned, her bow in hand and arrow notched.

"Let's look around and see for ourselves what this Weylon was hiding from us," Riel said stiffly as she resheathed her daggers. "I could have handled him, Zevran," she added with a pointed glare towards Zevran.

"Oh I know, my lovely Warden. However, seeing as you were gracious enough to buy me these new daggers, I thought I would try them out and see how well they worked." Zevran looked down at the nearly headless body of Waylan at his feet. "I must say, I  _am_  impressed."

Riel rolled her eyes at his morbid humor and walked over to the door that Fen'harel pawed at and slowly opened the door. Immediately she was assaulted by the foul stench of death and decomposing flesh. Coughing, Riel entered the room and looked around. Over by the bed laid the badly ravaged body of a young man who she assumed to be the real Weylon.

"Riel, I may have found Genitivi's real notes. It seems he went in search of a village named Haven in southwestern Ferelden, below the Frostback Mountains," Leliana stated as she joined Riel by her side. "Dear Maker, what is the smell?" Leliana coughed and held her hand over her face, trying to protect herself from the foul odor.

"It appears that the man that we killed wasn't the real Weylon. This would explain his insistence that we stay away from this room. Fen must of smelled the rotting corpse."

" _Woof_!" the beast barked in agreement up to his master.

"It seems as if our next destination would be this village that is spoken of in Genitivi's notes. Unless of course you wished to see what would have awaited us at Lake Calenhad."

Riel looked over to Zevran and caught the look of delight that the idea of revenge brought to his face. Even though she normally wouldn't care what happened to Templars, the idea of innocent people being attacked made her skin crawl. Only the Creators themselves knew how many people had died because of these lunatics, and Riel wanted to make sure that no others suffered because of their deception.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"Is everyone alright?" Riel breathed heavily as she looked to each of her companions after the last cultist fell to her blades. As she had thought, a deadly trap had been set up for anyone seeking Genitivi at the Spoiled Princess, the Inn that rested on the shores of Lake Calenhad.

From the notes left in Genitivi's house, it seemed an entire cult had set up worship of Andraste in a way separate from the ways of the Chantry. And it was the fake Weylon's job to send any seekers towards the trap that awaited outside of the Inn.

The group had rushed along the King's northern Highway to reach Lake Calenhad after leaving Denerim. Spending most of their time traveling as fast as Bodahn's heavy wagon would allow, Riel felt the stress of arriving at the Inn before anyone would be hurt by the lunatic's fellows. Still the days seem to pass slowly despite their pace. Riel's only comfort coming from the stories told around the fire each night, told by either Leliana or Zevran. Surprisingly, the assassin was quite free with the tales he wove of his time in Antiva working for the Crows.

Even Leliana seemed surprised at how open her was. The two of them sometimes trading points or stories on memorable kills that they made. Yet for the time he spent speaking with the bard, Riel could feel Zevran's eyes never leaving her for long. His smiles and laughing gestures seemingly saved for when he looked at her directly. Not to mock her in her silence, but more because he genuinely seemed to smile whenever he looked at her.

Riel still wasn't quite sure what to make of the assassin. For his part, he had kept his hands to himself since that day by the stream. However he always seemed to find a reason to be close to Riel. Something she didn't know whether it was a blessing or a curse. When he was around, Riel felt more relaxed than she ever had. Yet at the same time, there was a tenseness that existed between them that Riel couldn't explain.

One thing Riel did know was how much Zevran's closeness seemed to anger Alistair. The ex-Templar seemed especially broody since the elf had joined them. However, that did not stop the human male from making his lame jokes whenever he could. Once even stumbling through an incoherent rambling of 'licking lampposts'. Whatever he was talking about was lost on Riel, and thankfully Zevran rescued her with the tale of how one of his marks accidentally died before he even got a chance to kill her.

He did that a lot, Riel mused. Rescuing her from Alistair humor or Sten's insistent grumbling about the avenues Riel sought to gain allies. In Sten's mind, he seemed to think Riel could just magically conjure up an army to take on the Darkspawn. And he let his frustration in how they were not charging headlong into the horde plain to her on more than one occasion. Yet Zevran was always there, with some story or funny quip to take the pressure off of her. In fact, he seemed more proficient in easing Riel's mood than even Leliana or Morrigan were. Seemingly always there just when she felt a need to escape away from their companions.

Eventually they arrived at the lake, and Riel entered the Inn that serviced visitors to the Circle Tower or passing traders. The Inn keeper had tried to quietly warn them away, but Riel was too stubborn to let the subject drop when she had questioned him about the missing knights. And while the four of them had gone into the Inn knowing that a trap most likely awaited them, they weren't prepared for how many cultists had been lying in wait for them. When Riel and her companions stepped outside of the Inn after questioning the Innkeeper, as many as a dozen attacked them almost immediately.

"I think I should be asking you that,  _mi amiga_ ," Zevran replied with a heavy tone. Quickly he sheathed his daggers and walked over to Riel, concern darkening his features.

Beautiful and well fitting, however the armor that she had just recently bought did little to cover her arms, unlike her previous armor. It took just a simple misjudgment on her part during the fight, allowing the warrior to slice a deep wound into her arm. Still she had fought, pushing the pain aside and turning it into a fury that she used to stab the warrior that had wounded her clean through his left eye with her next strike.

"It's just a scratch. I'm fine, Zevran," Riel tried to make her voice sound firm, yet even she could hear the strain in it. Looking down at her arm she winced as she saw the deep gash near her shoulder.

"Do not lie to me, my Warden. I can see your pain. That is a deep wound, and needs to be healed before you lose too much blood."

"I'm afraid the assassin is right," Morgan added sternly. "If you'll permit me, I know a decent enough healing spell that should do the trick."

Riel frowned and swallowed hard on the lump in her throat. She knew that they were right, yet the thought of having someone's hands upon her still sent chills down her spine. Even if they were used to heal, and not hurt, the memories of her past were vicious and cruel even several years after her escape. Her brow set deep, Riel nodded sharply and offered the mage her arm.

To Morrigan's credit, her hands didn't touch upon Riel's skin at all. Hovering slightly above her skin, the blue glow that emanated from her hands quickly went to work, magically stitching up Riel's wound. After just a few moments, all that was left of the deep gash in her skin was a small red line and nothing more.

"There. All done. Now, shall we move on?"

"Thank you..."

"Do not thank  _me_. Thank your assassin. While you were focused on killing the one who slashed your arm, he made sure the idiot aiming for your back didn't land his blade."

Riel felt her face flush as she realized just how close she had been to being even more wounded, or possibly even dead. Looking over to the other elf, a part of Riel wanted to thank him as well for watching out for her back. Yet the words refused to form and all she could do was stare at his handsome features.  _Always rescuing me…._  Riel inwardly mused with a blush.

"There is no need to thank me, my dear Warden," Zevran said with a flourished bow. "Protecting such a beautiful and exquisite woman such as yourself is my pleasure." Again his voice purred with that Antivan accent, sending a different kind of chills down Riel's body.

"The  _Saarebas_ is correct. We are wasting time here when we should be making our way to this Haven," the giant Sten stated flatly, pulling Riel out of whatever trance she found herself in.

Clearing her throat, Riel mentally cursed at herself for becoming so flustered. "Let's see what these fools have on them. Maybe they have a map we could use to help guide us to the town where Genitivi is."

Zevran watched in silence as Riel moved to each body and checked their belongings. Today had been too close. Had his attack been just a moment later, his Warden would probably be dying in his arms instead of checking the bodies of those who sprung their ambush. He should have been watching her more closely. Should have protected her better. As it was, Zevran cursed at his inability to prevent the gash one of the cultists inflicted on her arm. He needed to protect her better. He  _needed_  to  **be**  better for her.

He had sworn an oath to protect his lovely Warden. And by the gods, he would not fail in that. Even if Zevran had to personally kill everything that stood in the way of her goals. He  _was_  an assassin after all. A member of one of the best trained guilds in all of Thedas. If he could not offer his Warden the comfort he desperately wished to give her, he could at least do better at protecting her from the enemies who hunted her.

What use was an assassin, after all, if he could not effectively kill those who threatened him or those whom he cared for?


	6. It Was the Soup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Parts of this chapter is taken directly from the game, during the dialogue for Sten’s personal quest. All credit for those parts goes to Bioware.
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, and I would appreciate any reviews!
> 
> Translations:  
> Mi Bella: Antivan. "My beauty"

 

The ground was slick with blood as Riel hauled the last of the cultist's bodies over toward the beach where the others were already burning. With one last heave, she lifted the corpse onto the pile and stood back, swiping at her brow and leaving behind a red-brown smudge.

"That is the last of them," Riel groaned as she rolled her shoulders trying to ease the tension there. Behind her came the soft sounds of the female rogue stepping lightly over the grass. "What did the barkeep say?" she added without turning around.

"Knights have been coming in every so often for a few weeks, looking for Genitivi. After the first few were attacked as soon as they left, he tried warning off any further knights that who came looking."

"That didn't stop the attacks though…."

"No, it didn't. It just made them more brutal. After he started warning the knights, the barkeep received a note on his door stating that they would come after his family if he continued."

"No wonder the bastard almost pissed himself when I brought Genitivi up," scoffed Riel as she crossed her arms over her chest. Then with a heavy sigh she lifted her eyes above the burning bodies at her feet to the lake beyond. The blue of the day mixing with the pink of the setting sun creating a beautiful landscape if it were not for the nauseating stench of burning flesh and hair.

"Warden."

Looking over to her left, Riel was again surprised to see that the giant Sten was standing next to her. Despite his towering size and large frame, the Qunari moved with enough stealth to rival even professional rogues like Leliana. Not that she would ever tell him so.

"May we speak?" the immense male uttered softly, his eyes looking troubled.

Quickly Riel scanned the area around her, taking note of where she was and where her allies were. While up until that point the Qunari has never threatened or harmed her, his near eight foot height dwarfed her own height at just over five feet. Any battle between them would certainly be bloody, and his height and superior body mass would make surviving such a battle difficult. However, even if she died, she would take the monster with her.

Before she could answer him though, Riel movement in Riel's periphery caught her attention. Zevran had also approached close to the burning mass of bodies, walking calmly and his face impassive. Yet it in his eyes Riel thought that she saw a mixture of concern and something else….

"Warden?"

"Uh - y-yes. Sorry. Let's go over by that boat," stammered Riel.

When they were finally out of earshot of the rest of their companions, Riel crossed her arms and leaned her back against the rotted out building close to the shore. The wood smelled like old urine and other more disgusting bodily functions, yet she refused to give the giant the option of her back. Besides, the rotted beams were too low for him to pass through easily, yet were just high enough for Riel to duck effortlessly behind them if need be.

However, Sten retained his quiet demeanor as his steely eyes seemed to bore into Riel. His normally stoic face now showing signs of worry and fatigue. For a man who barely showed any emotion, this small change in his features was startling.

"What is it Sten?"

"This is where is happened."

"What happened?"

"My death."

Now Riel was genuinely surprised. The look of pain that encompassed Sten's face was such a shock that she was momentarily taken aback.

"Your death? Sten you're not making any sense," she huffed.

"I told you I was sent to Ferelden by the Arishok."

"Because he wanted to know what the Blight was, right?"

"Yes."

More time passed without anything being said. Just when Riel was about to let her impatience get the best of her, Sten ended the silence between them on his own.

"It was here that my unit and I were attacked by Darkspawn." Again there was silence, in which the large male turned his gaze out towards the lake. Not so much seeing the silent waves that broke softly against the shore they were standing on, but seeing a memory in his mind. "There were seven of us first tasked with this mission. We travelled this land without seeing any of threat that we were sent here to investigate. Until we camped here, at Lake Calenhad. That night was when the came. From the shadows they attacked at us. I was on watch, yet I failed my brothers by failing to notice them until it was too late to warn them. Perhaps it was because I was already awake that I survived, but fate would decree that even as I fell from poisoned arrows, I would not die like the others. The last thing I saw before darkness came upon me was one of my brothers beheading one of the shorter beasts with his blade."

Riel stood there shocked, wanting to ask questions but unsure if they would cause the normally inexpressive male to no longer speak. Yet the silence that seemed to follow her companion around like an old friend once again surfaced, and long moments seemed to pass between them before it was finally broken by his deep baritone voice.

"The Chantry Mother had sentenced me to die for my crimes."

"I remember…. She said you - ahem - uh, that you…"

"I slaughtered a family," Sten finished, not seeming to care or even notice Riel's apprehensiveness on the subject. "There is no denying what I did. It is done. The family is dead, and I am at fault."

The story of what Sten had did to the unsuspecting farming family was not unknown to her. She had heard it in detail from the Mother herself when Riel had asked for the Qunari released. The Revered Mother had even warned that his future victims may also consider Riel at fault for releasing him. Yet no matter how much the Mother protested, Riel couldn't bring herself to leave the giant for the Darkspawn. Besides, Riel had already resigned herself to the suicide mission that was her battle against the Blight. If the giant died while fighting in her quest, then so be it. If he left her company for any reason without her knowledge before the Blight was ended, she would hunt him down and kill him herself. She gained a much needed sword, and he gained a possible redemption. It seemed a simple choice back in Lothering.

However now, with the stern and foreboding look upon the giant's face as he looked upon the water with hard eyes…. It made Riel's finger twitch for her blades at her back. A man was always unpredictable. Cold, callous, and unforgiving, they could kill without thinking. And now standing before such a monster that could effortlessly and without remorse kill not only adults, but children… Riel was quickly rethinking her choice to go anywhere alone with the giant.

"Under the Qun, regret is a useless emotion," Sten finally stated, as if somehow aware of her inner thoughts. "What is done is done. You cannot undo the past. However," he cleared his throat and again met Riel's gaze with his own. "I do regret my actions. I behaved without honor, during a panic befitting a child, not a warrior."

"I don't understand."

"After the battle, I awoke to find myself under a roof that I did not recognize, in a bed that was not my own. My first and only thoughts were not of the battle or the brothers that had died or even the Darkspawn that had attacked us. As any Sten of the Qunari is trained, my first thoughts were to my blade."

"Your sword?"

"I looked for it immediately. I confronted the family that had taken me in and demanded that they tell me what they had done with it."

"Did they have it?"

"No. And I knew they were not lying. Yet still I raged. It was then that I killed them."

"By the Creators, Sten! Over a sword? And you said you knew they weren't lying, yet you killed them anyway?" Riel reeled at the simple and direct way that Sten described what he did. She knew men were callous, but to kill an entire family, including children, because of a  _sword_?

"To my shame, yes. I acted without honor, and so was deserving of the death the Mother sentenced me to. I have never denied such."

"Mythal guide me…" Riel breathed as her mind tried frantically to make sense of what he had told her.  _Dear gods! I have set a monster loose!_

"I have but one question to ask."

Riel looked up at Sten, her own regret coursing through her as she mentally went over all the times she had left Sten on watch by himself. At how many times she had allowed this creature her back while fighting or travelling. And with each second that passed as her mind weaved through the past few weeks, a sickening nausea latched hold of her stomach and refused to let go.

"Why did you release me from that cage?"

His question pounded into head like the blast from a spell. Again and again the words bounced inside of her skull as she asked herself that very question. Just what had convinced her to release a man so cold as to describe killing innocent people as calmly as if he were discussing the weather?

"Riel!"

Riel looked up to see a pair of golden eyes staring at her, and suddenly the world under her seemed to fall away. For a brief moment, she could feel herself falling, yet the ground did not come up to meet her. Instead, something warm and hard enveloped her and carefully led down to meet the ground gently. A voice echoed softly around her, yet she felt numb to everything but the warmth that touched her skin and the strange yet intoxicating scent that seemed to come from everywhere. Like wam honey mixed with foreign spices and the smell of early sunshine.

"Can you stand?" the voice that broke through her haze was the same as the one before, yet it seemed closer now. Forcing herself to focus, Riel suddenly became aware that the warmth surrounding her were from arms -  _male_  arms. Panic came flooding back to her as she struggled to be free of their weight. To her shock, they disappeared quickly, however Riel knew that the man who owned those warm and inviting arms was still close by. The heat from his body and the scent unique to him still lingered heavily in the air around her.

"It's okay,  _mi bella_ , I am only here to help you stand if you so desire."

"No, I'm fine… I just... Had a dizzy spell. I just forgot to eat last night and with the fighting…" Riel stopped when she looked up at Zevran intending to argue further, yet was stopped by the look of anger in his eyes.

"You should have told me that you had not eaten. It is unwise to go without food while travelling as we do." His words were calm, yet his eyes spoke more than just his words could. Yet Riel couldn't for the life of her understand the looks that she was getting from the assassin, nor the strange feelings that his expression caused within her.

"I said that I was fine!" Riel grumbled loudly as she pushed his helpful hands away and forced herself to stand. For a moment the world spun as she straightened herself, but her pride refused to allow herself any further weakness.

Pushing aside the pain in her head, Riel took an uneasy step forward, and then another. Soon she found herself walking easily even as her head pounded and the earth beneath her threatened to unbalance her every so often. Eventually she had made her back to the door of the Inn, and standing next to it as calmly as ever was Sten.

"When you return to your people, will you tell them of what you did here?" Riel asked coldly without looking up at the Qunari. Standing just in front of the wooden door with her arms wrapped tightly around herself, Riel wondered if the giant even heard her as a full minute passed without him answering.

"I cannot go back."

"Because of what you did?"

"Because of what I lost."

Riel looked up at him then, again lost for words as her mind tried to process his words.

"What you lost?" she questioned in confusion.

"My sword. I carried that blade since I was first cast into the Beresaad, and I was to die wielding it. If I were to return without it, they would know me as 'soulless', and strike me down on sight. No true warrior would toss his blade aside while he still lived."

A deep shudder went through Riel as she again envisioned the brutality of his actions. Even explained to her, it still did not make sense how a living, feeling being could be so cruel as to kill a whole family over something as a small as a sword. Yet even as her spine went cold and her chest tightly constricted, she found the words escaping from her mouth even as she inwardly rebelled against them.

"We'll find your sword. Someone must have it. And when we do, you will help end this Blight. So when you return to your people, you will tell him of the Darkspawn and the evils of the Archdemon. And you will tell your  _Arishok_  that you are no better than the monsters you slayed with the same sword that you slaughtered an innocent family with."

Riel didn't wait for a response, instead just shoving the door to the Inn open and slamming it shut behind her. In truth, the numbness from before had gotten worse and she found it difficult even making her way to the room Leliana had earlier rented for her to use. Stumbling past the door frame, even Fen'harel was not able to break through the numb cloud that she existed in. When the door creaked shut, whatever energy that had allowed her to walk this far suddenly fled her. With a deep sob Riel slid down the door until she all but collapsed on the floor. There, with her knees pulled up against her chest, Riel cried silent tears into the fur of the great beast that laid protectively beside her.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

In the next room, Zevran could not keep himself still. Sharing the room with Alistair and Sten was bad enough. His anger at the giant was enough to make him murderous, and the ex-templar's ever present blissful ignorance of matters grated on his nerves as much as his snoring did. Yet what had his fingers twitching and his body humming was neither of that. One of the advantages to being elven over human or dwarven was the heightened senses such as sight, smell, or hearing. And it was the curse of hearing that plagued him now.

While the others of their group would have just assumed the quiet coming from their leader's room would mean that she was asleep, Zevran knew better. No matter how hard he tried to ignore the soft crying he heard from beyond the wall, the sound invaded him until it was all he could hear. With a curse, Zevran shot up from his bed and continued to pace.

In the bed next to his, Alistair's snore echoed from under the well worn blanket. And on the other side of him against the far wall laid Sten's perfectly still form. If it weren't for Zevran's ability to focus his attention and hear the giant's deep breathing, it would seem that the giant was dead. Which according to Zevran, would be preferable. Especially considering what his little 'confession' had done to his Warden.

Again Zevran's fingers twitched for his blades, sheer will alone keeping him from slicing his way through Qunari skin and bone.

In the few weeks that he had travelled with them, Zevran had grown accustomed to following Riel whenever she left camp or through whatever small villages that they had passed through. His persistence had finally paid off too, when Riel gave up on trying to leave him behind in camp so that now she just took him with her when they travelled or visited somewhere. The oath he had sworn to her on that first fateful day becoming more than just simply an oath to follow her into battle, but to make sure that at no point was she without someone watching over her.

Yet he was always careful to make that sure she didn't see him whenever she insisted on being alone. Her morning ritual to wash her face and her evening bathing were times when not even he would invade her privacy. Instead staying in the shadows and focusing his attention on what could be hiding in them. He was there to protect her, not to stare lewdly. After all, he may be an assassin, but he still had his honor.

It was the nights that were the most difficult. As he laid awake listening to her mumble and cry while she slept in her tent. With him unable to do anything to comfort her, Zevran prayed to whatever gods that would listen to please just grant her one night of restful sleep. Yet his prayers had yet to be answered. Night after night, she was the last one to go to her tent, and the first one up around camp. And each night, Zevran would fall asleep only when he would hear her movements finally slow and deep sleep take her. And each morning he would awake as soon as she started to move around in her own tent. Like his own body was tied to hers, Zevran at times could almost swear his heart beat in the same rhythm as her own.

So now with her so close yet so far away, in pain and alone, it was torture for him to stand there and do nothing. And while sometimes she would sometimes cry in her sleep, never in all the time that Zevran had known the beautiful Warden had she cried like this. As if all her hope now broken at her feet. And each barely heard sound shredded his own heart for her.

Earlier when the large male had asked to speak to Riel privately, Zevran had tried to make himself as invisible as he could. Blending into the shadows, he followed the two of them to the abandoned building by the shore. He wasn't  _spying_ , Zevran reasoned. He was just making sure that his Warden didn't leave herself vulnerable to any attack while she spoke with the giant.

He cared not for the story the giant told, only for the effect that it had seemed to have on his Warden. With each moment that passed, it seemed a bit of her emotional armor was chipped away, leaving her bear to some inner torment. Until she physically shook so badly, Zevran was surprised that the vibrations didn't shake the remains of the building that he was hiding in. Only when her balanced failed her and Riel began to collapse did he emerge from the shadows in which he had hid. With speed attained through years of training, he was beside her in the span of a heartbeat, keeping her too light body from hitting the ground below.

And there for a few brief moments, Zevran was finally able to hold her as he had long wished too. Wrapped tightly in his arms, he expected her to pull away immediately. Instead she clung to him tightly as she shook. Quietly he had whispered in Antivan to her, telling her that she would be alright and that he would protect her.

To his credit, the giant Sten didn't offer his aid or support. Instead he backed away silently and walked off as Leliana came rushing over to see if she could help. However Zevran refused to let go of Riel until she told him herself. Until then we would take this one moment to offer her the comfort and protection that he had wanted to give her for weeks. And when her reddened eyes finally locked on his own, Zevran swore his own heart stopped. Such pain and misery were in her eyes as she looked up at him.

It was then, when he asked if she could stand, that whatever stupor she was in ended and fear and pure panic eclipsed her beautiful features. Instantly she began struggling in his arms, and Zevran knew that his moment was over. He quickly let go of her, yet still remained close in case she needed help standing up.

However, the strong and distant warrior was back in the forefront. With her free from the confinement of his hold, the panic of being held passed quickly and the steely calm was set back into her eyes. And true to her nature, even on wobbly legs Riel stood on her own, refusing any help from those around her. After she was standing, Zevran made sure to stay close behind her in case she fell again. Although she was unsteady, Riel walked the distance from the shoreline to the door of the Inn on her own.

And like a true warrior, she again confronted the stoic Qunari who stood just to the side of the Inn in eerie silence. That she would continue to travel with, let alone help the Qunari find his missing sword shocked Zevran down to his core, yet at the same time was totally in character for whom his Warden was showing herself to be.

She couldn't leave a person in need, even when she could barely stand herself. Even when the person in need didn't deserve the energy it would take to clean the blade after killing him. Riel would help them, even if it didn't make sense and went beyond reason. Simply because it was in her power to do so.

His skin itching from his inability to ease his Warden's suffering, Zevran nearly jumped when there came a soft knocking at his door. Looking quickly over to the other two men and seeing they were still asleep, Zevran palmed one of his blades and went to the door. Keeping his blade hand hidden, he opened the door slowly, prepared for - and perhaps hoping for - an attack. Yet he was surprised to find Leliana there, with her soft knowing smile on her face and she held up a bowl filled with liquid.

"It's soup. Not good soup, but it has a rich meat broth and some vegetables. I could make better honestly, but it is what was available from the kitchen." Zevran continued to stare at Leliana after she spoke, confused as to why she was standing there with a bowl of soup in her hands. He wasn't hungry, and the other men were asleep, so unless she intended to wake them - "It's for Riel. She hasn't been eating much lately and I got worried after she collapsed."

"Riel isn't in here…" Zevran stated, even more confused now. It wasn't as if Leliana wouldn't know where Riel was. Leliana was the one who rented the rooms for them all. The three men were given a room, with Leliana and the witch Morrigan sharing another. Riel was given her own room as usual, because of her difficulties sleeping near others.

"I know! I mean, of course I know, I'm the one who rented the rooms. It's just, I know that she would accept the soup if I offered it her, but…."

"But what?" Zevran eyed the female cautiously as she bit her lower lip and her eyes refused to meet his own.

"I think that it would mean more if it came from you. She may  _accept_  the soup if I give it to her, but I do not think she will actually eat it. But if you give it to her, she might…."

"Because an assassin is to be trusted when giving you a bowl of mysterious soup?" Zevran couldn't help but quip slyly.

"I am not blind Zevran. I saw how you held her earlier, and how she held on to you at first. I am a friend, but you…" Leliana stopped for briefly as she chose her words.

"Last time I checked, our beautiful Warden trusted the men in our merry group about as much as Templars trust demons."

"Call it bardic instinct. But I have a feeling that if anyone could get her to eat, it would be the same person who risks bodily harm just to keep her from falling."

A full minute of silence passed between them as Zevran wondered just how much his fellow rogue knew about his feelings towards his Warden. True, he had never hid his flirtations with her or his more obvious measures to protect her. However, just how much did this bard know?

Without a word, Zevran took the bowl from her hands and lifted it up to his nose. Breathing deeply, he could smell nothing other the local spices of the area. Then he took a small sip of the soup from the rim of the bowl, keeping his eyes still locked on Leliana's.

"Don't trust me?"

"When it comes to our lovely Warden, I trust no one," Zevran replied. Satisfied that the soup contained no poisons, he walked passed Leliana and down to Riel's door.

"And that is how I know that I am right," Leliana laughed softly as she turned and went to her own room.

Zevran took a breath to brace himself, and focused his hearing beyond the door. There were no soft whimpers or cries coming forth, but by the sound of her breathing, Zevran doubted that she was asleep yet. However, when he knocked softly on her door, he didn't hear her stir. The only sound being made was that of Fen'harel's collar as he no doubt lifted his head at the noise.

"I know you do not yet sleep, my lovely Warden," Zevran whispered into the wood of the door. "I also know that you have not eaten recently. And so being the faithful follower that I am, I have acquired a bowl of soup for you. Now, I could just leave it outside of your door here, however I doubt that you would eat it if I did that. So I ask that if you would at least do me the favor of giving you this bowl directly. That way, I will be able to delude myself properly that you might perhaps eat this evening, easing my worry and allowing me to sleep restfully."

Behind the door, Zevran could hear the mastiff whine pleadingly as if the beast knew Zevran's worry and agreed with him. Yet for the longest time he heard nothing else. However, Zevran refused to give up.

"Well, even though I am sure that this soup would taste far better warm, I will simply have to keep you company instead." Zevran set the bowl down on the floor and eased himself down against the door so he was sitting with his back against the wood. "Let's see, I have I told you of much of my homeland, Antiva? I think you would like it there. The weather is always warm, and even though it rains for much of the year, the flowers are always in bloom. I would love to take you there one day. Things are not like how they are here in Ferelden. True it may just be the crushing threat of the Blight, but everything just seems so dreary here! In Antiva, there is always music playing, night and day. People will dance in the streets, and children run carefree around the market square. And even during the rainy days when all seems bleak and grey, there is always color to be found. You just need to know where to look."

A slight shifting could be heard behind the door and Zevran smiled to himself before continuing on with his story. "In Antiva, they have these leather shops where they tan the leather used for armor or other things. I always loved it there. Just the smell of freshly tanned leather brought a smile to my face. In fact, that reminds me of this pair of boots that I almost bought before coming to Ferelden. They were beautiful boots, made with the best Antivan leather. I was going to buy them, but thought of all the travelling I would be doing. Such fine boots are not for travelling, so I put them aside, thinking I would buy them when I returned to Antiva."

Another shuffling could be heard, as if she was now sitting up against the door much like he was. A soft growl of approval from the beast beside her affirmed Zevran's guess. "However, it seems fate had different plans for me,  _no_? Ah, that is alright. Here, there is beauty to found. Even greater beauty than all of Antiva, if you know where to look. Even when it doesn't want to be found, the beauty exists. Even when covered in blood or grime, the beauty still shines. That is how you know that it is  _real_  beauty. That no matter the troubles or the hardship that it endures, true beauty never fades. It just grows brighter."

"Why are you here, Zevran?" a small and obviously tired voice said from beyond the door.

"It is simple, my lovely Warden. True beauty may always exist, but that doesn't mean that it does not require help or protection. Someone to hold up that beauty when it grows tired of always being strong," Zevran replied with a smile. Then looking down at the bowl of soup by his side he added "or to feed it when it is too tired to remember to eat."

Minutes passed where he could hear nothing but her breathing. Yet it was enough. To know she was still alive was enough. Then after what seemed like an eternity, there was more shuffling from behind the door, and Zevran barely had enough time to sit up before the door behind him opened.

"Are you going to sit there all night?"

The absurdity of the question combined with her annoyed look was enough to send Zevran even into a laughing fit. Sitting there on the floor, looking at his Warden, Zevran couldn't help but laugh until his eyes nearly watered. There was no real reason for it, and yet he couldn't stop himself. And then a miracle happened. Riel smiled. A true, genuine smile. And Zevran could have sworn that his heart stopped.

"You are absolutely insane! What in the name of the Creators are you laughing for?" Riel asked while suppressing her own laughter.

Instead of answering, Zevran quickly stood with far too much flourish and energy for someone who was just sitting against a hard door for Creators knew how long. Then when a wide smile, he bowed to her with the same beguiling charm that he always used with her.

"I see you have decided to not lock me out in the cold forever. Unfortunately, the bounty I came offering has long since cooled. Perhaps we can find another way to warm you this early morning?"

Riel wanted to be mad at his continued flirting. To be angry at his suggestions and the idea that she needed any kind of 'warmth' from him. In fact, she could feel the lecture she would give him on the tip of her tongue. Yet looking at his winking eyes and wide smile, Riel somehow couldn't get the words past her lips. Instead of listening to her demands, her traitorous body was even becoming warm at his words and the way that he looked at her just then. She even had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling further.

"Give me the soup," she demanded quickly before anything more dangerous left her mouth. With a grin that was equal parts victory and amusement, Zevran handed her the now cold bowl. Yet he continued to stare at her in the strange way that he always did. "Why are you staring at me?"

"Forgive me, my lovely Warden, but it would ease my thoughts tremendously if I could see that you actually ate the soup instead of tucking it away somewhere and ignoring it. It would certainly be a incredible ease to my conscious and indeed help me to sleep better to know that you are fed."

Riel wanted to curse. Both at the way he was trying to make sure that she ate, and at the way her body seemed to respond when he looked at her like this way. It wasn't lecherous, or at least not entirely. Sure there was hints of the lust that she could see in men's faces when they looked at her. However there was something else in the way that this strange man looked at her. Riel didn't understand it, yet that still didn't stop it from slowly picking at away at her defences.

That was what worried her the most. That somehow, this man was easing under the carefully crafted walls that she put up with everyone around her. These walls protected her and kept her safe, even when she was at the mercy of her masters. Inside her own mind, no one could get to her. However now her own mind and body seemed intent on betraying her where this other elf was concerned.

Clamping down her emotions, she fixed her eyes on the man across from her. His twinkling eyes and bright smile seemed far too genuine to be real. Far too nice and welcoming to be safe. Men were good at manipulating others. They were good at pretending one thing while being another. So she would be as well. With steely eyes, Riel brought the bowl he had given her to her lips. With measured mouthfuls, she kept her eyes fixed on his as she chewed and swallowed until the bowl was finally empty.

"Happy now?" she snapped at him as she handed him back the bowl.

"Appeased in one area. However, I think I have grown accustomed to my spot outside of your door. In fact, I think sitting there has eased a particularly tense part of my back. So perhaps I will continue sitting there for a bit longer." Zevran bowed once more before taking the door handle and closing the door between them.

"Wait!" Riel shouted, surprising even herself. What was she getting him to wait for? If he wanted to spend the night sitting outside of her room, then what did she care? Fen'harel was still with her and would alert her if anyone came into her room. Even strangely interesting yet incredibly handsome elves with golden eyes….

"Yes my dear Warden?" Zevran answered back with a smile.

"Nothing. It's nothing. Spend the night however you wish, it is no matter," she bit back with more irritation than she felt.

For a split second, the light in Zevran's laughing eyes changed and burned deep with something almost beastial. His whole body tensed up and Riel could have sworn the temperature in the room increased.

"If only I could, my lovely Warden," he replied, his voice thick with desire. Then as quickly as it appeared, the moment passed and Zevran's friendly smile once more danced across his face. "Now, do get some rest. The morning will be upon us shortly and I can't wait to hear our dear Morrigan complain about how awful the food is here."

Before Riel could respond, the door was shut and she was again alone in her room with Fen'harel at her side. Only this time, she didn't feel nearly as alone for some reason. Confused, tired, and beyond emotionally overwhelmed, Riel rubbed her face with her hands as she sat down on the bed. Normally she slept with her dagger in her hand, especially in foreign places like Inns or Taverns. Yet whether it was the food now resting in her belly or the extreme tiredness she felt as she laid down, Riel just couldn't seem to find the energy to reach for it. It certainly wasn't because of the elf on the other side of the door, or how she somehow felt safe with him out there, watching over her.

Nope. Not that at all. It was the soup. Honest.


	7. Haven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, and I would appreciate any reviews!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Ser: King’s Tongue. A formal title based on status, similar to "sir" in our world, but not gender specific.

Two days straight south and then another day west took the group within sight of the village that was tucked away into the mountainside. Odd that there were no signposts or travellers marks indicating that the village was close by. In fact, the only reason they found the village was because of the excellent notes of the Brother Genitivi that they attained back in Denerim. Surrounded by a thick blanket of trees, only a small waft of smoke could be seen against the blue sky of the day. Even the path leading up the hill was covered in shrubbery and overgrown in many areas.

Riel signaled for Bodahn and Sandal to find a place to make camp then quickly sorted through her pack to find the items that she would need should they end up fighting. Not that she ever wanted to fight, but it seemed like violence seemed to follow her everywhere she went. Even when she lived among the Dalish, violence found her. Either among her clanmates or while out hunting. And before that… Violence was the only life that she knew.

So perhaps it was fitting now that everyday new battles awaited her. Whether it was wolves or bandits or small groups of Darkspawn. Fighting after all was better than dealing with whatever feelings and thoughts that seemed to catch her far more off guard than any enemy. And much more dangerous too.

Ever since they left Calenhad, Zevran rarely left her side. Which was in some ways no different than normal. Yet it seemed more personal now. More… close. As if she would breathe and he would be there, ready to tell her how many heartbeats she had taken between breaths. In some ways, it was sort of comforting. In others, however…

"He's watching you again."

Riel looked up from her bag and was startled to see Morrigan so close to her. Always the witch walked with an eerie quiet, her movements more predatory than human. And when her eyes took on that devilish delight that she got when she was imagined something very brutal and most likely very painful happening to someone that she didn't like, she was almost scary. Much like how she looked right now, as a matter of fact.

"Who?" Riel asked offhandedly, knowing who she meant yet trying to feign disinterest.

"You know who," the Wilds woman tsked in impatience. "'Tis a wonder you do not trip over him ev'ry time you stand."

Riel closed her eyes and tried to force her mind to focus on anything other than golden eyes and tanned skin.

_Potions, check. Injury kits, check. Torch, check. Medical rags, check. Extra rations-_

"Snap out of it, girl! By the whims of whatever fates there are, you are the leader of this odd group, so it is up to  **you**  to do something about it."

"And what would you have me do about it, Morrigan?" Riel snapped in frustration, lifting her eyes to meet the witch's hard stare.

"He follows you like a sad little puppy! 'Tis disgraceful! And 'tis clear that I am not the only who thinks so."

"What do you mean?"

"You must have noticed how sullen our dear Templar has become since we have taken on that fool of assassin. Truly 'tis no problem of mine, yet I would assume that it would be terribly inconvenient to have to take time out of our travels to bury one of the two foolish men."

"Oh, they're not that bad. Yet," Leliana added with a giggle as she walked over to the two women. "Besides, I think it rather romantic. Two men fighting over the affections of a woman that they care for."

"It is  _annoying_!" groaned Morrigan with an exaggerated roll of her deep yellow eyes.

"My- my- What?"

"Oh come now, you didn't think the mindless buffoon was this irritated because his armor itched, did you? Well certainly a valid guess, even  _he_  bathes every once in awhile."

"Oh you're so mean, Morrigan! I love it!" snickered Leliana behind her hand.

Riel looked over in the direction of where the men were gathered, talking with Bodahn as they helped him set up the camp. It was true that Alistair seemed more distant since Zevran joined them, however she did try to avoid the human whenever she could. His inability to take even the most important thing serious frayed on her nerves, and even when he tried to be friendly, his crass remarks about elves often made her temper flare.

In all honesty, the idea that Alistair may actually have a serious interest in her made Riel's skin crawl. She knew he tried to flirt with her back when they first started travelling, but after she nearly gelded him that one time in Lothering when he grabbed her arm, he hasn't really tried to flirt with her since. Which was honestly preferable. One dangerous and unknown man trying to flirt with her was enough.

Thoughts of Zevran and his more than obvious flirtations with her had Riel instantly blushing and quickly she went back to her bag to check again that she had everything that she needed. Even though she had already thoroughly checked her bag at least ten times in the past hour since stopping there at the base of the hill.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"Uh oh," whined Alistair as he stood up from the tent that he just finished setting up. "Don't look now, but their huddled together again. I swear the Maker made women's voices softer just so us men wouldn't hear them when they huddle together like that. Who knows what they're talking about. Probably flowers. Or birds. Women like birds, don't they, Bodahn?"

"Ah ser, I'm afraid the things that I know about the fairer folk have landed me as a permanent batchelor. So I don't think you'll find any insight from me."

Zevran swiped his polishing cloth across his blade once more, trying to ignore the bumbling templar. He himself had long since finished with his tent as well as Riel's, insisting that her time is better spent making sure that the group is well prepared for their journey should they need it. Now with his back against Bodahn's cart, Zevran found himself gritting his teeth to keep himself from making some snide comment about the other man's ignorance.

Unlike the other two, Zevran could hear perfectly well what the women were talking about. And while he was normally pleased with how close the women of the camp were, to hear how Morrigan dismissed him and his actions irritated him. Perhaps he was being a bit obvious with his attentions to his Warden. But there were many dangers in this world, and not all of them were from enemies.

"Maybe she would like roses. That is a popular flower, right? I remember that Arl Eamon had a beautiful rose garden outside of the servants doors. There were also carnations and daffodils there too." Alistair looked over at Riel and frowned, his mind working hard behind his furrowed brow.

"I like flowers!" Sandal beamed from atop the cart.

"Yes you do, my boy. But we're talking about what flowers the young lady Warden would like."

"Pretty stars!" the boy exclaimed happily, jumping up and clapping his hands.

"What? It's still daylight!" Alistair scoffed as he eyed the boy curiously.

"That's alright, don't mind him ser. I'm betting he is just excited to see the stars tonight. He always loves looking up at them."

"Grown men speaking of flowers…." Sten grumbled as he walked past them, his head shaking in disbelief. Zevran chuckled to himself as he sheathed his blade and stood.

"If you'll gentlemen excuse me, I feel a call to nature, if you catch my meaning…" Zevran said with a wink before hurriedly walking off towards a small wooded area near where they camped.

"I don't trust him," Alistair mumbled disdainfully as he watched the elf disappear.

"Aye, but Lady Riel does. Or at least seems to. And me and my boy trust her."

"He is always following her, as if just looking for the right time to strike."

"You don't suppose that he still means to harm her, do you? There have been several times when he has helped you all in fights and battles since he came along."

"He could just be waiting for something. I am sure Loghain would like a live Warden to sacrifice to the masses. A face for the people to rally against. He has already declared all Wardens enemies to Ferelden. What better way to make people hate your enemy then by giving them a face to hate, rather than just some title?"

"Alistair! Are we ready to leave yet?" Riel called out to him before Bodahn could respond. "It'll be dark soon and I wanted to scout out the village before it gets too dark to see very much."

"The tents are set up and Sten is already doing rounds. Do you know who you will take yet?"

"Morrigan for sure in case we need some magic. Leliana is good with her bow as well, although she remarked earlier that she needed to stop and make more arrows. It's between you and Sten for some extra muscle. What say you?"

"I do not like this area. Too many places to hide. I wish to stay to properly scout the area."

Riel looked over her shoulder and tried to hide her surprise at the giant suddenly standing behind her. Stoic as ever, the male had shown no indication that his confession a few days ago and Riel subsequent fall bothered him in the least.

"Fine. Alistair, you're with us. That makes a good enough group to enter the village. I don't want to scare the locals by going in with too many people."

" _Woof_!"

Riel looked over to her faithful mabari and a small smile lifted the corners of her mouth. "Sorry, pup. I want you here. No one can sniff out an ambush better than you, and I want to make sure our stuff is still here when I get back. So I want to make sure to eat any bandits or Darkspawn that try to take our things while we are away, okay?"

" _Whine…_ "

"Oh don't give me that look. You know I don't like people touching my things," Riel softly laughed as she bent over and rubbed the hound's head.

"Yet you let that  _assassin_  set up your tent today," Alistair sneered, his arms folded across his armor covered chest. Riel sighed and stood up, leveling an annoyed glare at him.

"That was because I was busy making sure that we had enough potions in our packs in case we got another surprise attack like the one back at the Inn. Grow up Alistair, it's not as if I am asking to him arrange my small clothes."

Alistair's face went beet red even as his eyes narrowed. Yet Riel couldn't bring herself to really care. The animosity between the two men was well known about by everyone in the camp, but Riel refused to play referee between the two men. As long as they kept breathing and able to fight if need be, they could bicker all they wanted.

"Did I hear someone say something about small clothes? Now don't tell me you started the fun before I arrived, have you?"

Now it was Riel's turn to blush as Zevran walked over to them. Quickly she turned and went over to her pack and shouldered it, making sure to keep her face hidden from either man.

"Morrigan, Leliana, Alistair and I will be heading up the village soon to check it out. We should be back before night fall, but in case we're not -"

"I'm going with you." It was a statement of fact. Not a demand. Not a question. As if there was no other option to him going with her. It just was.

Riel turned around to find Zevran standing not a foot away from her, his face stern yet determined. This is was the same look he got last time when she tried to leave him behind while they checked out the Inn at Lake Calenhad. Sighing deeply, Riel tried to steel herself against his protests, already weary from having to argue with him again.

"I don't want to take too many into the village at once, Zevran. We need information, and the best way to do that is to not spook the locals with a large force. Besides, if we come across any traps, Leliana is there. And I have been getting better at detecting traps too, you know."

"You need someone to stand at your back if you are attacked. Leliana is a distance fighter, you know that. While her bow is good, you need a blade protect you while you're turned," he argued back easily. His tone wasn't angry, yet Riel could feel his irritation even if he didn't openly show it.

"That's why  _ **I**_ am there, assassin. My blade works more than well enough, and has done a fine job at protecting us so far. Your smaller blades are not needed here."

Zevran's easy eyes met the angry glare of the warrior's beside him, a smile replacing his earlier frown. Riel knew something passed between the two men in that moment, but Creators knew she didn't understand what it was.

"Oh, I am sure your blade is well suited for your own needs, Alistair. After all, you are a fine, young man who I am sure spent many years alone sharpening the edge by yourself. However, I am sure Riel needs someone who won't charge ahead first without looking at those around him, or finish too early for Riel to properly enjoy herself."

"Boys! Boys! Back to your corners!" Leliana shouted as she physically got in between the two men and shoved them apart.

Alistair's hand twitched for his sword pommel as he glared menacingly at the other man. Yet Zevran seemed as calm as ever, his casual smile and easy expression showed no signs of aggression, yet Riel could somehow tell that he was more than prepared should Alistair try anything. Finally after a tense moment Alistair walked away cursing under his breath, heading towards the pathway that led up to the village.

Once Alistair was away, Leliana leaned in close to Riel, being careful to not touch her. "I think you should take Zevran," she whispered softly. Riel's eyes darted to hers, shock showing on her face.

"Why?"

Leliana bit her lip then took a look over at Zevran before leaning into whisper again. "When you fight a war, you need warriors. When you fight a battle, you need allies. When you fight for your life, you need friends. When you fight all three, you need someone who will fight not just for themselves, but for you as well. Alistair is a good warrior. He is a good ally. And he could be a good friend. But he fights to prove himself. If not to himself, then to you. Zevran," Leliana paused and looked back at the male elf behind her. "He fights for  _you_."

Riel's breath caught in her throat as she listened to the last part, he eyes seeming to find Zevran's as if they had a mind of their own. And there, staring back at her, Riel could see the truth of Leliana's whispered words. Once more a strange feeling began to well up in Riel's chest as her eyes remained locked on Zevran's. Leliana's last words echoed in her mind as the world seemed to fade around her until all there that existed was Zevran and her.

"Besides," Leliana continued, pulling Riel sharply back to reality. Releasing a deep breath, Riel felt as if she had been holding in for for some reason. Her heart was racing and her hands felt clammy, yet thankfully Leliana didn't seem to notice despite her closeness. "I  **do**  need arrows. I'm down to three arrows and while I trust my aim, I don't think the bad guys will be nice enough to only send three people to attack us," Leliana said with a laugh. Riel looked up at her friend and smiled, not sure she caught everything the other rogue said as her head still felt a little fuzzy.

The only thing her mind seemed to want to concentrate on was the intense look that Zevran was giving to her, and the strange response it was invoking in her own body.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

It turns out that there was reason why Haven was so secluded.

The people were certifiably insane.

The visit to the town seemed normal enough at the beginning. A guard had met Riel and the others at the top of the path and asked some rather strange questions, and seemed to stress that any business they had in town be ended quickly and then move on. He didn't seem to know anything about Genitivi or the Redcliff knights, and even seemed to get more agitated the more Riel asked of him. So instead Riel decided to check out the town herself.

Everything seemed peaceful, yet deserted. There were no people walking around or children playing. Even the animals were quiet in their stalls. They did find a small shop, but the shopkeeper was even more elusive than the guard. Once outside of the shop, Riel spotted a small boy over by one of the houses playing by himself.

"Hello there. My name is Riel. What's yours?" Riel tried to sound friendly, yet the boy barely seemed to notice her.

"I'm not supposed to talk to outsiders," the boy said softly, not taking his eyes off whatever small trinket that was in his hands.

"We're actually looking for someone. Do you think you could help us?"

The boy shrugged silently. Growing impatient, Riel tried another angle.

"What is it that you have there?" she asked, trying to get the boy talking.

"It's a secret."

"Oh, I like secrets. Can you tell me? I promise not to tell anyone."

Again the boy shrugged, yet after a moment he handed the small thing over to Riel without even looking at her. Surprised, Riel looked at the object in her hand and almost exclaimed in shock when she saw what it was.

"Is that a bone?" Alistair asked from behind her.

"A finger bone, it looks like. And not from an animal," Morrigan added from the other side.

"Where did you find this?" Riel asked sternly toward the boy.

"From the Chantry. Out back there are a bunch of them, all different types. But I am not allowed back there. Not until I am older, me mum says. But I snuck back there last night during the evening Chant."

"Here, take this, " Riel said as she offered the boy a silver from her pocket. "Go buy yourself something then go hide somewhere. We need to go talk to the adults around here."

"Thanks lady! They're all up at the Chantry for the afternoon services," the boy joyfully replied before running off towards the shop.

"I may be wrong, but it doesn't seem as if all is well in this pleasant little village," added Zevran dryly.

"Come on. I want answers, and it looks like the place to get them is the Chantry."

Altogether they climbed the hill leading up to the Chantry that stood towering over the rest of the village like some kind of beacon. Already Riel could feel a pall of death that surrounded the area, and found herself inwardly praying to the Creators for strength as she prepared herself for whatever challenge that yet awaited them.


	8. Dragons and Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.  
> I hope you guys enjoy, and I would appreciate any reviews!  
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty."
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Un dragón puede comer su corazón. Pero una bruja te consumiera tu alma: Antivan. “A dragon may eat your heart, but a witch will consume your soul.” 
> 
> Mi hermosa diosa: Antivan. "My beautiful goddess."

Okay…. This wasn't going to be pleasant.

Turned out that the mad bastard Kolgrim wasn't lying about the dragon.

After fighting off seemingly endless amounts of cultists, Riel was more than ready for a rest. However, fate it seemed had a sense of humor, and thought that simply fighting against multiple dragonlings and drakes wasn't enough. The Creators now saw fit to match Riel against a monstrous high dragon on the very summit of the mountain temple.

There had better be magical healing ashes at the end of all of this or else Riel was going to be pissed.

The Chantry at the top of the hill was indeed filled with townspeople, although they were far from welcoming when Riel and her group entered. After a strange welcome, the group was suddenly attacked and ended up killing the Revered Father and many of the townspeople. A short search had revealed a secret door that led into a hidden room where the Brother Genitivi laid badly beaten and with a broken ankle.

Riel had tried talking him out of continuing on up the mountain, but he would hear none of it. Morrigan did her best to heal his injuries and together they left the Chantry and headed up another path behind the Chantry to what looked like a dilapidated temple nearly taken over by snow and trees. Excited but rightly cautious, Genitivi agreed to stay behind while Riel and the others looked around the old temple.

It wasn't long before they were attacked, as the deeper Riel went into the temple, the more cultists seemed to appear. And not just them, either. Demons and shades waited for them walk by, attacking from shadows or from inside boxes. Even dragonlings attacked them, snapping their sharp razor teeth as they looked to tear flesh from bone wherever they could find it.

And then there was Kolgrim. A fanatic raving about a "resurrected Andraste", and how he and his kin were her "protectors". He had offered to guide Riel and her group past the dragon if only she agreed to poison the very ashes they had come there looking for. And while Riel wasn't entirely sure she believed in the divinity of either Andraste or the special qualities of her ashes, Kolgrim seemed like just another human monster, willing to destroy goodness for the sake of their greed.

However, he wasn't lying about the dragon part.

Out on the mountain summit, the monstrous beast could be seen resting up high on a cliff face some distance away. And even with that vast distance, Riel knew that the great beast could see them as clearly as they saw it. And it clearly did not like them trespassing on what it considered its territory.

The battle began as soon as the beast lifted its great body from the cliff on its massive wings and roared so loudly the ground beneath Riel shook. Then with speed that belied its size, it was upon them. Giant wings flapping up a hurricane around them, while fire breath threatened to burn them all to a crisp.

Morrigan kept her distance, yet even she was not spared the beast's attacks. The ground would shake under its weight, and the massive wings would flap drawing in the air or unsteady body towards the beast's mouth. Then fireballs as large as boulders would fly, followed by a terrible breath attack that singed the hair and threaten to cause the very air within their lungs to burst.

Alistair probably took the worst of it. Again and again he would rush at the monster, swinging his long sword and using his shield to help protect himself from attacks. More than once he he would be hit directly in the chest and would wind up flying backwards, landing roughly on the ground or against a wall. Yet each time he would stand and come again at the dragon, almost daring it to do it him again.

And through it all, Zevran never left Riel's side. With both of them slashing out at the creature's feet or belly, they attacked almost in unison. When one receded, the other would attack, constantly keeping the beast from having to adjust to defend itself. And every time Riel would feel her legs buckle or an attack would knock her down, Zevran was there to hold up and help her keep standing. Even after Alistair took a hit so hard Riel could hear his armor crack even above the sounds of the battle, and he went flying against a wall so hard, he crashed right through. Even as Morrigan sagged as her magic was depleted and then was knocked down by the creature's tail. Through it all, Zevran never once left her. And he refused to let her fall no matter how difficult it became.

Zevran's own injuries were obvious as blood ran down his left leg and blood and dirt smeared his face. Yet as long as he drew breath, he would not go down as long as Riel lived. When Alistair rose no more, Zevran took on the role of taunting the dragon, drawing it away from Riel. With her body screaming in pain, Riel tried to call after him, yet he refused to listen. Deftly he dodged several attacks before being knocked down from the smack of the creature's large wings.

Seeing Zevran go flying, something broke inside of Riel. She would  _ **not**_  die here!

With a blood curdling yell, she launched herself at the dragon. Stabbing first into up the upper hind quarters, then using her other dagger, she struck again higher. With a strength of force born from years of anger and hurt, she used her daggers to literally pull and climb onto the dragon's back. Once there, she lifted both blades up high and plunged them deep into monster's flesh, slicing through skin and muscle down to the bones of the spine.

The dragon bellowed angrily in pain and began shaking and thrashing, trying to dislodge Riel. Holding on tight with everything that she had, Riel twisted her blades, causing another ear shattering roar from beneath her. Then with a final heave, the dragon crashed down to the ground and breathed it's last.

" **RIEL!** " Zevran screamed out from several feet away. More than just slightly burned and probably housing several broken bones, none of that mattered to him. The only thing that mattered to him was his Warden. On unsteady legs he pulled himself up and stumbled over to the carcass of the dragon. Frantically he searched the tangled mess of the dragon's limbs until he got to the wings. Saying prayers to every god he ever even heard of, Zevran lifted one of the wings as best as he could and looked beneath.

There on the ground with her hands still on her daggers laid Riel, unmoving. Zevran let out a strangled breath as he heaved the wing aside and stumbled over to where she laid. Collapsing beside her, Zevran felt tears sting at his eyes as he looked over her badly beaten face and body. Such a beautiful woman, even with the scars and gashes in her skin and blood covering her face.

"Please,  _mi amor_ , you must live. You cannot leave me. Not yet…" Zevran whispered as he bent down to her mouth to see if he could hear her breathe. It was faint and far too shallow, but it was there. Small breath in, small breath out. "Praise the gods…" he breathed as he reached for side pouch and pulled free his last healing potion. Again he was glad that he saved the last vial for her, knowing that no matter how badly he may be wounded, he would give his life to save hers. "Drink,  _mi amor_. Drink, and come back to me," he said softly as he poured the liquid into her mouth.

It took three heartbeats for Riel to respond. Three long, unbearable heartbeats. But then Riel's body spasmed and her back arched as her eyes flew open. And right there beside her ever ready was Zevran, pulling her tightly against him.

"Shh… Let the potion do it's work. You can yell at me later," crooned Zevran as even while heavily wounded, Riel tried pushing him away. On unsteady legs, he pulled himself up, being careful to hold Riel in such a way as to not put too much pressure on her wounds. Slowly he shuffled with her in his arms over towards a nearly roofless stone gazebo. He then carefully laid Riel down on a portion of the ground uncovered by snow, then moved his face down to hers so she could see his eyes. "I'm going into your side pack for your fire starting kit. That is all, I swear to you."

Riel nodded as best she could and braced herself, yet found she barely felt his hands on her as Zevran quickly pulled free the kit. That she was disappointed that she could no longer feel his hands on her or her body against her were strange and traitorous thoughts in her head that she tried to banish, yet like a stubborn mabari refused to budge. Zevran then stood with a grimace and shuffled over some old crates several feet away. With Creators know what remaining strength he had, Zevran managed to smash one of the crates enough to pull free some wood. He then came back to where Riel lay and set about making a small fire.

"Now I understand why Mother always warned to never to trifle with dragons."

Zevran didn't even look up as he bent down to the budding flame and blew softly on it, making it larger. "They say in Antiva,  _Un dragón puede comer su corazón. Pero una bruja te consumiera tu alma_."

"Afraid I may take your soul, assassin?" the woman quipped with a grimace as she approached the two of them.

"Even if I indeed did fear that, you would be disappointed by dear Morrigan. You see, my soul already belongs to someone else." Zevran added another broken piece of wood to the growing fire before leaning over to check on Riel.

"Does it now? And here I thought that assassins had no souls."

"So did I. Apparently we do. For the right people," Zevran replied as he gently swept a piece of bloodied hair from Riel's face. She was unconscious again, but alive. And her breathing, while strained, was easier than it had been. After a silent moment, Zevran finally lifted his gaze to the other woman and replaced his frown with his usual smile. "It is good to see you alive, and it makes me wonder if our bumbling Templar was also so fortunate."

"He lives. Whether that is good news or not, I have yet to decide. But before I followed you in here, I moved over to where the fool ended up and checked to see if he still breathed. After cursing at me when I removed his helm, I saw that whatever brain damage he may suffer would be negligible, and probably hard to tell otherwise when compared his usual foolishness. I am out of lyrium and magic at the moment, however, so I must wait before I can tend to anyone properly."

"He is still out there, then?"

"Do I look like I would be able to carry that heavy lout even a foot, let alone all the way over here? He may be brainless, but he is not weightless. Especially not with all that heavy armor that he wears."

"Give me a moment and I will help you to bring him in here then," replied Zevran with a heavy sigh.

"Oh leave him out there, I say. There is still at least a few hours before true nightfall is upon us. And before then I should have enough of my magic back to heal most of our injuries."

"You will focus your magic on Riel first, then," Zevran stated flatly. Again, this wasn't a request or demand. And if the witch minded, she gave no sign of it. She just slightly nodded her head before leaning back against the stone wall behind her and closing her eyes.

Zevran refocused his attention on Riel, rechecking her breathing and her heartbeat. Still so shallow. Yet she lived. And she would survive. That was all he could hope for. He could still remember what she had felt like, cradled against his chest when he carried her in here. Even with the pounding pain in his body, with her against him, she eased him in ways he never knew possible. With her against him, the pain that he felt throughout his whole body was tolerable and so incredibly worth it.

Reaching into his side pack, Zevran pulled his polishing rag free and put some snow down in the center of it. Turning the cloth into a pouch, he then held the cloth high above the flames of the fire. Out of reach of the flames, yet still within the heat they produced, the snow slowly melted and turned to water, turning the dry cloth damp. When all the snow was gone, Zevran took the now wet cloth and began to gently wipe away the blood that was now drying on Riel's face. Being careful around the scar that bisected her face, again Zevran wished that he could find the bastard who had cut her so he could make him pay.

"I will deliver you from this,  _mi bella_. I will see you past this Blight and the monsters that hunt you. I swear this to you."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Riel came awake to a pounding headache. Carefully she opened her eyes and winced at the pain that speared through her skull as her eyes met the fading sun.

"You are awake, good. Maybe now they will stop brooding, and leave me be."

Riel slightly opened one eye briefly enough to spot the dark witch seated not too far from where she was.

"H-"*cough*"How long was I out?" Riel croaked out through a dry throat.

"A couple hours. Not enough in my opinion for you to heal properly, but that you awake at all is a miracle considering this day." Morrigan groaned slightly as she stood and it was clear the witch was suffering from fatigue and her own injuries still. "I shall go tell the men you are awake."

"Morrigan…?" Riel moaned weakly. "Thanks."

"I, uh… Yes. Well, ahem…" stuttered Morrigan before she just nodded curtly and left. Still after all this time travelling together, the other woman was still not comfortable with being thanked or being offered any sort of compliment.

Riel closed her eyes against the pounding in her skull, silently praying to the Creators for either relief or decapitation. She thought honestly that either would be welcome considering the pain that now threaded through her being. Yet the praying proved fruitless as the pain continued, and now her throat hurt as well. Groaning Riel opened her eyes and slowly lifted herself up slightly, getting a look at her surroundings.

"You should be resting,  _mi bella_ ," the soft Antivan accent reverberated through Riel. Instantly the image of Zevran being sent flying by the dragon's wing sprang into her mind, making her breath catch in her throat. An avalanche of emotions rolled through Riel then, ranging from fear to relief and many places in between.  _They could have died._ All of them. The thought of Zevran dying was especially hard to swallow, and for some strange reason tears pricked at the corners of Riel's eyes.

_Why him?_

Before Riel could speak, Zevran was down at her side, his eyes filled with worry. Yet as much as Riel wanted to say, the words just didn't seem to come to her. The emotions she felt were so different than anything that she had ever felt before, and she had no context for them to try and fit in. The words that did come seemed empty and hollow compared to how she felt, and she struggled to find something -  _anything_  - to say.

"I saw you go down…" she finally whispered, refusing to meet his eyes unless she felt herself totally crumble under that honeyed gaze.

"Don't try to talk,  _mi bella_. You need to rest."

Yet she needed to talk. To say  _something_. Just what exactly that was, Riel wasn't sure.

"Thank you," she finally managed to say. As if on its own, Riel's hand slowly drifted over until it tentatively laid over his own. "I mean it. You saved my life."

Zevran's throat seemed to close as he heard her heartfelt words and felt her hand on his own. For a woman who avoided handshakes and detested even casual touches, for her to reach across and place her hand willingly upon someone else was almost like a kiss for how intimate it seemed. And the gods knew that the feel of her hand on his own felt sweeter than any kiss that he had ever felt before.

"You need to rest. You are still not fully healed, even though Morrigan's magic has done much to speed your healing," Zevran finally said, unsure of what else to say.

"I'm thirsty, actually. Is there any water?"

"Yes, right here,-" Zevran mentally cursed himself as he reached towards the fire and grabbed a rudimentary cup that he had found within one of the crates. Inside was some freshly melted water that he had prepared for her earlier, only to forget about it when lost in the perfection of her small touch.

Riel tried to sit up further, yet her back still pained her and she cursed out in old Elvhen as a sharpness rocketed down her spine to her toes. "Help me up, please," Riel said quickly through gritted teeth.

"Of course,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran replied as he quickly placed his forearm under her neck and head and gently lifted her while she drank from the cup. After a couple greedy swallows, she placed the cup down on the ground. He was about to gently lay her down and pull away when Riel reached forward and grasped his other arm.

"I'm sorry that I'm like this," Riel softly admitted.

"You just killed a dragon,  _mi bella_. You are allowed time to heal."

"No," she shook her head. "Broken. About things. Like….  _this_ -" she whispered as she gently squeezed his arm.

"You are not broken,  _mi bella_. As I said, you are allowed time to heal. And I will be here to help you do so. I will never ask more than you are willing to give, and I will never regret a moment that you allow me to be by your side."

Riel smiled softly and turned her body towards him so that her forehead pressed against his chest. There she could almost hear his heartbeat from inside his chest, the steady sound soothing her even further.

"If you will permit me,  _mi bella_?"

Riel opened her eyes and looked up at him. For some reason his simple question cracked something in her. Something hard and cold that had existed for as long as she could remember. Slowly she nodded her head, unsure and apprehensive, yet willing to trust. Even just a little.

Zevran shifted himself so that his back was against the wall behind him and his legs spread out before him. Then keeping his eyes locked on her, he gently pulled her up to him so that her back rested against his chest with her body lying between his legs. For a moment Riel felt fear sting at her, yet when he didn't move to enclose his arms around her or try to trap her in anyway, she felt herself relax a bit more. She had to admit, resting against his chest like this was more comfortable than the hard floor that she was lying on. And with his arms off to the side, she curiously didn't feel threatened or frightened in any way. Even when he laid his cheek against her head, the familiar panic that Riel normally felt when she was close to anyone was stunningly absent. She felt….  _good_. Calm. As if for once, things fit the way that they were supposed to.

"I swear to you,  _mi hermosa diosa_ , you are always safe with me," Zevran softly whispered into her ear.

And the funny thing was, she was starting to believe it.


	9. Rivals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> One line is taken from the game Dragon Age, that of what the Guardian says to Riel at the Temple of Sacred Ashes.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, and I would appreciate any reviews!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." A term of endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Sal'uthyn: Elvhen. "Eternal lights of the sky." A type of night blooming flower.
> 
> Mi rival indigno: Antivan. "My unworthy rival."

The sun was nearly set by the time Riel decided that she had healed enough. The lack of potions and other supplies worried her, however. Morrigan had managed to find some elfroot in amongst the ruins on the summit, which she was currently brewing into some small healing potions. However, they were out of lyrium potions and were without much food or even bedrolls. She had not expected to be gone so long from camp, but Genitivi was insistent that they head to the temple immediately, and Riel could tell that he would have hobbled here on his own had she and other left him to return to camp.

Yet now as she gazed upon the large antechamber on the other side of the clearing, Riel cursed once more as she weighed her options.

Even if they left now to return to camp, they would be travelling much of the way in the dark. When they went through it earlier, the old temple was barely lit by the various windows throughout the chambers. Yet with the sun gone, there would be no light to guide them now. The small offshoots that held cultists surely had fires and torches burning, but Creators know how long they would have lasted without anyone to tend to them. They would be stumbling around in the dark, prime targets for any ambush from hidden enemies.

However, staying where they were was also not much of an option. Morrigan was using the last of the wood from the crates to make the potions they would need. Once that was gone, they would have nothing to keep them warm or light the way. With no bedrolls or tents, they would be at the mercy of the bitter wind that even now chilled her uncovered skin to uncomfortable levels.

And to go forward yielded as much worry as promise. Inside, they might indeed find more enemies, which would mean fighting. However they might also find more potions or at least shelter from the winds and cold snow. With enemies to tend to their fires or torches, the way would also likely be lit well even as night descended upon them. The problem was staying alive and in good condition while fighting those same enemies. The previous fights so far have proven that these men and women who follow this deranged cult were no fools when it comes to blade or arrows. Some were even mages, which might promise more lyrium potions for Morrigan. If they could survive long enough to collect them.

It was a gamble no matter what Riel chose. And like all the decisions that had been made since Ostagar, she was the sole one who seemed to bear the responsibility of making them. Even though Alistair was the senior Warden between them, he still deferred to her when it came to making the choices for the group. The others followed her for their own reasons, but in the end, each choice was left up to her alone. Which was both a blessing a curse. While it meant that she wasn't being forced into another person's daft decisions and idiotic choices, it did mean that she was alone with the guilt of choosing wrong or unwisely.

"You look troubled,  _mi bella_. What is it that is on your mind?"

Riel looked over to Zevran as he joined her just outside of the stone gazebo they had been resting in. Thoughts of how warm he was against her sent another strange sensation through her, and quickly Riel turned her body to hide the reddening blush that surely darkened her cheeks. There were other more pressing concerns for her mind to focus on rather than the warmth he gave to her or the wonderful way he had smelled as she rested against him.

"We ah-" Riel coughed as she cleared her throat and forced her mind to focus. "We can't go back, despite our meager supplies. And we can't camp here. The best choice is to see what awaits us in the antechamber and hope that the Creators favor us enough to let us scrounge some useful supplies. If there are any more cultists hidden inside, we should be well enough to deal with them as we are, as long we are not swarmed or run into another bloody dragon."

"I agree." There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. "You know, back in Antiva, the Crows would sometimes send two or three assassins in to do a particular job. Normally we worked individually, so during those times there was always bickering as to who would lead the small band. Sometimes the elders would choose one of us, other times we would gamble or fight for the lead position if we wanted it. In the end, the one who led would either take most of the payment for a job well done. Or, and much less desired, take most of the responsibility and subsequent punishment when the job went poorly."

"So you followed these others when you went on these jobs?" asked Riel, curious as to where this story was leading. Yet she had learned that despite how strange or seemingly off topic Zevran's stories were, there always seemed to be some hidden point to them. In fact, it reminded Riel of her time travelling with Duncan. Both men had a habit of using stories to impart some kind of wisdom or advice without it ever seeming like they were doing anything other than simply telling an interesting tale from their past.

"Oh no! No, I never was content to follow someone else's orders. The elders of the Crows were one thing, but when I was out with other members of our order, I never could just sit by and listen to what others thought that we should do."

"Yet you seem to follow me easily enough," Riel interrupted, more speaking to herself than to Zevran. Suddenly Zevran was standing her line of sight, his honey eyes staring into her own.

"You are no ordinary woman, my lovely Warden. I gave you my oath that I would follow you, even unto the Fade itself should you so need to." Zevran's eyes seemed to burn into hers, his face serious yet not hard or angry. Then the moment was gone and he smiled broadly, his eyes twinkling with the light of the setting sun. "I do find myself battling with old habits, however. So I must ask humbly for a favor if you would be so kind to grant me."

"What is it?"

"You see, I was so used to leading before coming to Ferelden. And with that came certain…. instincts… that come with such a position. I find myself wanting to offer advice or perhaps even speak of the choices that are to be made with you, our gracious leader. I am perfectly content under your leadership, do not get me wrong. Yet it would help to ease my mind if you were to ever feel the need to come and speak to me if you ever find yourself unsure of something or struggling with a decision to be made. It would help me feel useful, for more than just my blades at least."

Like so many times when dealing with the Antivan elf, she didn't know how to respond to his words or actions. It was as if he read her mind and knew her worries and troubles without even asking. Was she so easy to read? Yet none of the others had ever really attempted to offer their aid or even much advice in their travels. Where they went, who they fought, which jobs to take - it was all up to Riel. Sometimes Leliana would make a comment of approval after the choice was made, or Alistair would complain over some detail, yet she was always alone in the decisions.

For Zevran to offer this - she didn't know how to respond. She wasn't used to people offering their help, let alone accepting it. Even back amongst Riel's clan, the others tended to avoid her. The only one who didn't was Tamlen, and look what happened to him….

"So, you agree with going forward?" she asked tentatively.

"Absolutely. It is the only wise choice, considering everything. And do not worry, my lovely Warden. I should ever be by your side during whatever shall befall us behind those walls," Zevran added with a wink and wide smile.

"Is it decided then?" Morrigan stated as she approached.

Looking at Zevran's handsome face, Riel smiled. "We go forward."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

_"There is suffering in your past - your suffering, and the suffering of others."_

The words that the Guardian had spoken still haunted Riel even as they slowly made their way down the mountain. Even with the daunting trials and the tests to their character, none of it had impacted her more than the words spoken by the strange being who guarded the ashes of the prophet Andraste. And Riel would gladly walk blindly and unarmored through any number of flames if only to avoid the Guardian's knowing gaze and strange questions.

Yet she had the ashes. And for the first time since beginning this journey, Riel was actually happy that she brought the idiot Alistair along. The stories of Andraste and her fight against the Imperium were not wholly unknown to her. Paivel would sometimes tell of her and the elf Shartan around the fire while her clan camped. However, it turned out she knew very little of the woman Andraste and her plight. Alistair, however, was incredible with his knowledge of history and Andraste's story. And even though she was never raised to revere the woman as Alistair had, even Riel had to admit to the sense of awe that she felt standing before the urn that housed her ashes. Once more Riel was glad that she turned down Kolgrim's offer to taint the ashes. Whether the woman was holy or the ashes magic didn't seem to matter at that moment. Just standing in front of a relic that many would have done anything to see filled Riel with a sense of accomplishment that she hadn't felt before.

And now, with a small amount of the ashes hidden away in her pouch, Riel couldn't help but feel proud of herself for doing what so many couldn't. She had faced the trials that even the devout cultists hadn't been able to do. And she emerged with a piece of history all her own.

"Riel?"

Alistair's voice called out to her, pulling her from her internal reverie. "What is it, Alistair?"

"Elves like flowers, right?"

The absurdity of the question as well the bluntness made Riel stop right in her tracks. With the torches they salvaged from the antechamber, Riel felt comfortable enough to brave the walk through the temple and down the mountain back to the village. Yet even standing in the light of the torches, she couldn't understand the strange look upon the ex-Templar's face as he looked upon her.

"What?" balked Riel in incredulity.

"Trees and plants, and other things like that. You and the other Dalish. That's where you live, right?"

"Alistair, what in the name of all Thedas are you going on about?"

"Perhaps our Templar hit his head harder than I thought," quipped Morrigan from beside Riel.

"Flowers, you like them, right?" Alistair asked again, still looking at her with an odd look in his eyes. Riel rolled her eyes and pegged him with a glare.

"They are fine, I suppose. Some are useful in potions or poultices. Although Morrigan would know more about that than I do."

"Good. Good…"

"Pay him no heed, Riel. I think the dragon may have roasted Alistair's brain a bit too much," laughed Zevran, who was joined by Morrigan's light giggle.

"Ha ha. It was just something I was curious about. No need to make jokes. They might hurt my feelings. All one of them."

"Okay, that's enough. We shouldn't be too far from Haven now. I think I see the outline of the Chantry just behind those trees there."

The rest of the walk down the mountain and through the village was just more of the normal bickering and banter that usually happened as they travelled. Alistair saying something stupid and being insulted by Morrigan or teased by Zevran. Strangely though, Zevran's usual flirting that he partook in with Morrigan was almost nonexistent. Thinking about it, Riel found that even his flirting with Leliana when she was with them had slowed down. It seemed as if the Antivan elf saved most of his playful flirting for her alone now. The thought again stirred strange feelings within her, and Riel wasn't sure if she should be happy or upset about it.

About a hundred yards from where the others were camped, a large barking noise could be heard. A moment later Fen'harel came bounding out from the bushes in front of them and nearly bowled Riel over as he leapt at her. Great soggy dog kisses were left all over her face as Riel hugged the beast tightly to herself.

"Yes, it is good to see you too, Fen! I've missed you too!" Riel laughed as the hound continued to slobber all over her.

"Mabari breath. Ewww…." Alistair groaned as he watched the duo.

"Now, I don't think that it's any worse than your own, Alistair. At least the dog bathes."

Alistair rolled his eyes and pushed passed the others, heading for the camp. Even in the flickering light of the torches, the evil smile on Morrigan's face was visible. That woman sure loved teasing the man. Not that Riel could blame her a lot of the time. And those times when Riel was too annoyed or flustered to answer the Templars strange questions or comments, Morrigan was always there to divert attention away from Riel and make Alistair squirm in ways that even Riel found impossible to not smile at.

Unlike Alistair, Zevran enjoyed seeing the mabari and his Warden together. The hound was the only creature able to get her to smile and laugh with any consistency. And with Riel's aversion to touch, it was nice to see how much the mabari comforted her. Although Zevran wished that his own touches were as welcome with Riel as the hound's were, he was in no rush.

Still, Zevran was more than pleased that she allowed herself to rest against him earlier. A woman like his Warden wasn't somebody who could be rushed when it came to something like trust or affection. When she came to him, it would be of her own choice, and he would welcome her in any which way that was.

"There you are! We were about to go looking for you! What happened?" Leliana came running out of the bushes next, barely stopping herself before she knocked into Riel much in the same manner Fen'harel had. Instead she dropped her arms and stared awkwardly at Riel and the hound. "We were worried about you when you didn't return at nightfall. Sten and I were planning on going into the village ourselves if you didn't show by morning."

"Thanks, Leliana. But we're okay. Just barely, but we made it. And you are not going to believe what we found," Riel replied with teasing look on her face.

"Oh, now you must tell me! You know how much I love stories! You must tell me every detail!"

"I will. But first, I  _really_  need a bath. Dragon blood smells awful even after it dries…"

"Dragon blood?! You fought a dragon?"

"Leliana, let's allow a our dear Warden a chance to rest before you start grilling us on the details,  _no_? I am sure we will all feel much better once we are back at camp and are able to relax."

Riel looked over to Zevran and smiled softly, again thankful for his insight and timing.

"Oh, Maker forgive me! I haven't even allowed you to sit down before I am pestering you with questions! Come on, I promise to hold my questions until after you are able to rest."

"What would be helpful, sweet Leliana, is if you could see about perhaps heating up some food for our Warden. I am sure a full stomach would help loosen her tongue for you stories. And like I always say,-" Zevran paused as he looked at Riel with pure mischief on his face. "A loose tongue is always more  _pleasurable_."

Any gratefulness Riel felt for the other elf vanished in her embarrassment and anger over his teasing of her. However, his lecherous teasings were beginning to bother her less as the days went on. Perhaps she was just getting used to his teasing. It wasn't as if she  _enjoyed_  them or anything.

Leliana followed them back to camp with Fen'harel barely leaving Riel's heel. Rarely was she ever gone this long from camp unless they were spending the night in a town, in which case the hound was with always with her then as well. Since Ostagar, the mabari had made it clear that this woman was his, and just like the old stories said, he was fiercely protective of her.

Which is probably why Zevran liked the animal so much. Even if Zevran could not guard her at all times, he knew the hound could. Especially while Riel slept or went off to bathe. And it seemed the mabari sensed the same in him. Zevran was the only other person beside Riel who the beast would ever listen to.

"I know you want to know the details of what happened, but honestly I would give almost anything for a chance to wash all this grime off me," Riel admitted when they finally got back to the camp. "I'm just going to grab a cloth and a fresh tunic and go to that small river that is near here."

"Of course! And while you're gone, I will reheat some of the deer that I hunted earlier with my new arrows. Go take care of yourself, Riel," replied Leliana with a comforting smile. It was clear the woman wanted to hug or touch Riel to assure herself that indeed the woman was alright, but Riel just wasn't comfortable with that. Even with her minor breakthrough with Zevran earlier at the summit, the thought of touching others still raised her anxiety passed tolerable levels. Instead Riel just smiled back, a twinge of sadness and regret in her eyes as she headed for her tent.

Lately, the enforced distance that Riel put between herself and others seemed to bother her more than normal. When living with her clan, the fact that she refused to let others touch her was a comfort to her still damaged heart and mind. And how things were in Ostagar only reinforced that. She didn't want or care for the feeling of others being close to her, let alone actually touching her. However that resolve in her seemed to be weakening. Chipped away at by honeyed eyes and a teasing smile.

Riel went over to her tent and ducked inside. At first she was just so grateful to be away from the eyes of others that she didn't notice the bowl that rested near her bedroll. Sighing heavily she sat down, she accidently tipped the bowl over, splashing water on her hand. Confused, Riel looked down and saw that the bowl held not just water, but several white flowers with soft petals that twisted at the end, making them look like twinkling stars. She lifted one to her nose and smiled.

 _Who would have gotten them?_  she wondered as she felt the soft petal against her lips.

Riel righted the bowl, then gathered up the things she would need to wash including the extra tunic that she owned. Then, with the flower in hand, she exited her tent and looked around. Everyone was seated around the fire except for Sten who stood a few feet away. With his arms crossed over his chest, he looked just as stoic and foreboding as always. Yet when he saw her, he nodded his head slightly in a small greeting. Riel mimicked the motion, then focused her eyes on those by the fire.

"Alistair, have you been in my tent?" she asked with annoyance. While she appreciated the gesture, she didn't like the idea of him being in her tent, touching her things.

"What? No, why?"

"You didn't put anything in my tent earlier, before we left for Haven?" she asked again, remembering the strange questions he asked her earlier about flowers on their walk down the mountain.

From the other side of the fire, Zevran stood up and approached Riel, his eyes a mixture of worry and expectation.

"If you mean the flowers, they are from me. I picked them earlier and considering how much death and blood we encounter each day, I thought that you would like something beautiful to smell before you fell asleep. I thought that perhaps it would help you rest easier."

Riel didn't know what to say. Again, this man surprised her with his kindness and thoughtfulness. Riel wasn't used to such kindness from people, especially from a man, and so she didn't know what to say to thank him.

"The Dalish called them  _sal'uthyn_  - 'eternal lights of the sky'. They bloom at night, and seem to glow in even in the faintest light. The Keeper told me that they are a gift from Mythal, to know that even when the stars do not shine, they are still there." Riel ducked her eyes away from his, her cheeks blushing from his gesture. "How did you know?"

"After we left Lake Calenhad, I heard you with Bodahn's son, Sandal one night. The boy had trouble sleeping because how dark it was with the overcast sky. You went to him and showed him these flowers, and told him that even if he couldn't see the stars, these flowers would always remind him that they would shine again."

The silence around them seemed deafening, and Riel was suddenly acutely aware of their audience. Her face stinging from embarrassment and other odd feelings, Riel couldn't seem to find any words to ease the silence that seemed to have overtaken the camp. It felt as if all the eyes of Thedas were upon her as she stood next to this strange yet compelling man.

"T-thank you…" was all she managed to say before her embarrassment got too much. Quickly she turned and walked off towards the river without saying anything else, Fen'harel following closely behind her without being called.

Zevran continued to stare after her, even after she was swallowed up by the darkness of the night. Sighing, he let his mind wander to what she would look like naked, floating in water with the moonlight shining off her glistening body. Just imagining it made the throbbing member between his hips twitch and stiffen, begging him to follow her and see if his fantasies lived up to the real thing.

"You are such a bastard!" Alistair cursed from behind him.

"I think it was sweet!" added Leliana, her knowing smile obvious in her words.

Zevran turned away from where Riel had disappeared and found himself nearly face to face with the angry Templar.

"You  _knew_  I was going to give her flowers, so you stole my idea and gave her some yourself!" Alistair spat angrily.

"What I  _knew_  is that you would make some bumbling attempt at giving her something she might not have liked out of some need of yours to endear her to yourself."

"And what was that?" Alistair exclaimed, pointing to the tent. "Aren't you trying to  _endear_  Riel to yourself?"

"No, my friend. That was me trying to find a way to ease the nightmares that she has at night. If I were trying to endear the lovely Warden to me, I would be preventing your mouth from working before you had a chance to anger or annoy her with your bumbling statements or questions."

"Why I ought to-" Alistair looked like he was going to hit Zevran, yet the elf didn't seem threatened or even flinch even as Alistair stepped forward ready to brawl. However Leliana was again between them, pushing Alistair away.

"Easy! Easy! You-!" Leliana pointed her finger at Alistair. "Go sit down or cool off somewhere." Next she looked at Zevran, who was still smiling and looking completely at ease despite how close Alistair was to fighting him. Although Leliana didn't doubt for a moment that despite the relaxed looked he held, Zevran was more than ready to fight just as Alistair was. "You, stop begging for Alistair to attack you. Although I am sure you are both manly men and everything, Riel wouldn't be pleased to come back to camp to find Morrigan and I nursing you back to health."

"Ha! Like I would care. Indeed, my silvers are on the assassin. Let them fight. At least it would be entertaining!" quipped Morrigan from her spot at her own fire several feet away. Leliana rolled her eyes and faced off at the two men again.

"Can we please just sit down and act like grown adults for a little while? I am sure both of you men are tired from whatever happened while you were gone. Sit down and save your beating for the Darkspawn or whatever else that is out there. Agreed?"

"Of course, dear Leliana. Please do forgive me," Zevran said with a small bow. "The deer smells absolutely wonderful and I would love to have some, if you do not mind." Zevran then sat down by the edge of the fire opposite to where Riel had disappeared into the brush. There he would be able to see immediately when she returned, and he wasn't going to sleep until he had made sure the stubborn Warden had eaten.

Grumbling under his breath, Alistair just glared at the smiling elf, wishing that the dragon would have saved him the trouble of killing him himself, and just ate the blasted elf.

"Just watch yourself, assassin. I will not hesitate to kill you if you hurt her."

"I assure you,  _mi rival indigno,_  that hurting our dear Warden is the farthest thing from my mind."

The tension between the two men was heavy in the air as they stared at each other, Alistair with his sharp and threatening glare, and Zevran's almost playful but just as lethal gaze.

Leliana looked back and forth between the two men before smiling to herself. "Well, things are sure to get more interesting in camp, I think."


	10. Roadmap of Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, and I would appreciate any reviews!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Da'len: Elvhen. "Little child, or little one."
> 
> Lethallan: Elvhen. Casual reference used for someone with whom one is familiar. Akin to "cousin" or "clansman".
> 
> Pendejo: Antivan. "Asshole."

The water was cold, but it felt amazing on her burning muscles and aching joints. Floating softly on the water, Riel looked up at the sky and watched the clouds dance across the moon. Lost in her thoughts and memories, she just let the peacefulness of the moment engulf her. No Darkspawn, no enemies, no dragons, and certainly no dangerous and alluring amber eyed elf.

That one seemed the most dangerous of all. Darkspawn she could handle. Wolves, cultists and other creatures hardly stood against her and her companions fighting prowess. And the dragon…. Well, she survived. However, Riel wasn't sure if she would be able to survive whatever it was that happening to her when it came to that man with his honey eyes and blazing warmth.

Again, her breath caught as Riel remembered the handsome elf and the uncanny way he seemed to lower her defenses just by being around. None of her other companions managed to take up her mind as much as he did. It seemed that whenever Riel wasn't careful, her mind would wander to those mischievous eyes and tempting smile. And the small things that he did to care for her or make her smile were slowly destroying the careful defences she had spent years crafting to protect herself. And a part of her was silently happy that he could.

Floating there on the water, a voice came to her from her past. Echoing in her mind, Riel was transported back in time to when she was still with her clan.

* * *

"I see you are pained,  _da'len_. Tell me, what troubles you so?" The Keeper's voice was just as strong in Riel's mind as it had been on that day.

A young couple in their clan were celebrating becoming officially bonded to each other. Keeper Marethari had seen Riel's confused and agitated look and came over to stand next to her. The Keeper then spoke to her softly, making sure they still kept a measure of privacy even amongst the excitement and partying.

"I am not a child, Keeper," Riel bit back, anger coloring her words Even there amongst her own people, Riel could still not seem to let go of her anger and hatred, and it had caused many to avoid her or even act hostile in return towards her. However the Keeper had been always patient with her, her words soft and her tone understanding. The older woman's continued kindness and patience was a large part of the reason as to why Riel felt so close to the woman.

"I know that. You have been through much in your short life."

Riel looked over the Keeper, wondering how much she knew. She had not spoken much of her time with her masters before being found by the clan, and she wondered just how much the old Keeper knew.

"I may not know the details, but I am not blind," the Keeper replied, waving off Riel's concerned look. "I suspect that in many ways, you may even out distance myself in age. You have the eyes of someone who has seen and been through far too much for someone as young as you are." The Keeper was silent again for a moment as she collected her words in her mind. "It has been a year since we found you, yet you are still distant from many others of your age. Often I see you by yourself, standing away from the people of the clan as they go about their day."

Riel sighed as she returned to staring at the happy couple and their friends. More silence came as the two women watched the happy couple laugh and hold each other as they spoke with their families and friends. Completely open with their affections, they would kiss or hold each other as if doing so was completely normal and natural for them. Which, Riel supposed, was how the rest of the clan was as well. Everyone but her.

"I just don't understand it Keeper," grumbled Riel. "He will hurt Niala. Maybe not today, but soon enough. When they…  _couple…_  when he takes her to soothe his loins, she will be hurt! She must know this, yet she bonded to him willingly. And look how happy she is, surely knowing what is to come!"

The Keeper stood silent for a moment, letting Riel's words sink in. A year ago when a young male of their clan had found her badly beaten and covered in blood by the side of a path, he immediately informed the elders of the clan, including Marethari. The poor girl looked as if the Dread Wolf himself had chased her through the woods, and she was covered in wounds from her head down to her feet. Marethari had cleaned her up and healed the girl as best as she could, yet the worst of her traumas were something no spell or poultice could heal.

Even as time passed and her wounds healed, the girl remained scared. Every night as she slept, Riel would scream and cry in her dreams. And her panic would never be eased by gently comforting her as it would with normal children who had nightmares. For Riel, it was if every touch burned her. She avoided any contact, and even lashed out violently if someone were to even lightly touch her shoulder. Some of the clan had even seen the multitude of scars that covered the skin of Riel's back and upper thighs when they would stumbled upon her bathing. These worried clansmen would come to Marethari and seek advice on how to perhaps ease the girl, if not erase the scars on her body then help to mend her broken and bruised spirit. Yet no matter how many times people have tried to get her to open up and trust them, Riel would just pull further away.

With years of honed patience, Keeper Marethari carefully chose her next words. Sending a silent prayer to Mythal, she asked for help guide and protect this poor girl who suffered far too much in her young life.

"Perhaps. There is always pain when love is involved. Quick and angered words can hurt those we care for unintentionally. Jealousy and pride can hurt even deeper than any blade or arrow. However, love - that which is shared by two beings who care deeply for each other - is about caring for another person beyond ourselves. It is about putting the needs of others ahead of our own, and doing our best to keep them from harm. At times we may fail, but love is also about forgiving and learning to work through the pain. And above all else, it is protecting and caring for the one you care for as they were the most precious thing in all of the world."

The Keeper paused and looked at Riel, hoping her words were helping. Yet with the young woman's brow still furrowed and a scowl darkening her face, the Keeper searched her own mind again, hoping to find another way to help the budding woman understand.

"Look around you,  _da'len_. We Dalish live not in nature, but apart of it. When the ground gives us her bounty, we take it without harm to her beauty or her life. We give thanks for her gifts, and we strive to always give back what we can. Yet there are others out there who do not care for the beauty of nature. They steal her resources, cut her trees without care, and over hunt her creatures. They take what they desire, not thinking or even caring how it harms her or her children. And when they are done, they move on like locusts, ready to scar more of her majestic beauty with their mindless ravaging. Now, that is not to say that she will never heal her wounds or cover up her scars, however they will not go away immediately. Sometimes it takes years, or even centuries. But when kind people see her hurting and try help in whichever way that they can, Nature heals more quickly to her former glory than if she was left alone to heal by herself.

It is the same with the Dalish, and in truth all people. When we give to others, we share in the bounty together. However, when something is taken, it wounds us, and not always physically. Pride, trust, security, even our own self-identity can be ripped from us by uncaring people who just wish to satisfy their own desires without thought to others. And sometimes it can take a long time for those wounds to heal, but with time and those who care helping, they can eventually disappear within the new beauty that emerges.

Talain will not take what is not offered,  _Lethallan_. His love for Niala will push him to care for her more than himself, just as how Niala's love for him will push her to care for him more than herself. Sometimes hurt still happens, but it is the intent and how you repair the hurt that matters, young one."

* * *

Riel remembered the Keeper's words as if it was just that morning that she said them to her. Back then, Riel didn't understand what the Keeper's words meant, and to be honest, she still wasn't sure. It all seemed like such a foreign concept to her. In Riel's experience, men always took what they wanted, not caring if it was offered or not. Sure, it was easier if the woman just didn't fight back. That was another thing that Riel knew from personal experience. But even then, that still didn't mean it was offered willingly.

Yet, Riel had to admit that despite the weeks travelling with her the others, the men in their group hadn't really tried anything towards her. Aside from that one time in Lothering, Alistair never laid hands on her. He was just an ignorant fool, thinking that his constant jokes amused her or would win him her favor. When in reality all it did was just show how much of a ass he really was. And his insults towards her people or her land certainly didn't go unnoticed either. Riel still didn't trust him, but he was good in battle and proved to be of some entertainment when Morrigan was also around.

Bodahn and his son Sandal seemed almost afraid of her, which suited Riel just fine. They kept their distance when in camp, usually only joining the rest for meals or when Riel was discussing routes to take. Both of them were always friendly towards her, and even respectful.

And Sten, well, he seemed to hate her as much as Riel hated him. And at least he was honest about it. Still, what he did with that family bothered her. Since Lake Calenhad, Riel had been more leery about placing him on watch duty during the night. However, if he was going to truly harm them, there was plenty of opportunity for him to do so either while they travelled or fought. Riel would watch him, and keep him at a distance until she could tell where his motives lie and whether he could be trusted even so far as Riel trusted most people. Which wasn't much, but it would at least let her rest easier on the nights that he took watch.

That left the Antivan assassin and fellow elf, Zevran. Now he was man who Riel didn't understand. Normally the type of brash and blunt attempts to flirt with her would have just seen whatever man attempting it seriously injured. But with him? Around him, Riel felt safe. As if even if the Archdemon himself were to suddenly attack, he would defend her with anything he could, even his own life.

His laughing smile and honeyed eyes did strange things to her insides. Something about the way he smiled and looked at her just made her confused, and...  _aroused_?

No. No, no, no, no.  **No**!

Riel stood up in the water and shook her head hard, trying to banish such an absurd and dangerous thought. No, she didn't get aroused. All she felt was pain when it came to that, and she was so tired of being in pain. Tired of being afraid. Tired of sleeping with a dagger in hand, still half convinced that her old master would come and grab her again in the middle of the night...

"I just need some rest. That's all. They're dead, they can't hurt me anymore." Riel uttered to herself, trying desperately to banish her living nightmares from her thoughts.

Slowly Riel started to walk back to shore, where she would towel herself off quickly before she dressed and returned to camp. With sad, tired eyes, Riel stopped and turned around, looking out onto the river. With tears clouding her eyes, Riel made a silent wish to Mythal to watch over her people while she was gone, and she prayed that one day she could be free from all the pain and hatred in her heart.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"Well, it has been fun being mostly silent with a small amount of glaring with you all, but alas, I need to retire for this evening," Zevran stated with a small chuckle. Carefully he stood up and wiped the dirt from his pants, keeping the ex-Templar still in his gaze. "After all, it is so very tiring defeating a high dragon while defending our fearless leader. I guess I could have napped earlier, but Alistair seemed to have beaten me to it." Zevran laughed good naturedly, yet his eyes remained cold as he stared at the other man still on the ground before turning around and walking swiftly back to his tent.

Alistair saw red at the assassin's words. However, before he could stand up and ram his sword through the arrogant murderers back, Leliana was beside him, pulling back down. Sometimes, like right now, he really wished the woman wasn't such a skilled rogue, then perhaps she wouldn't have been fast enough to prevent him from beating the brains out of the elf.

"Leave it, Alistair. He is just trying to get you angry so to start a fight with you. What do you think will happen if Riel comes back to camp and sees you two fighting?"

Alistair just continued to glare at the tent Zevran disappeared into as his mind churned at the all ways he would like to kill the bastard. As far as he was concerned, the Antivan elf was walking on claimed territory. Okay, maybe not exactly  _claimed_. However, it had to be clear how he felt for Riel. Hell, Alistair even had made a comment to Zevran about 'wasting the Warden's time' by trying to be close to her.

True, the elf had proved himself useful in the battles they had, and Alistair was grateful to him for his help in the fight against the high dragon. However, Alistair also saw how Zevran looked at Riel whenever he thought she wasn't looking. The look of lust, of undressing her in his mind... Alistair hated it.

From the moment Alistair first saw Riel back in Ostagar, he was entranced by her beauty and grace. She didn't speak that much, but Alistair could sense the strength that she had inside of her. Even now, Alistair felt guilty about praying that if none of the other two recruits made it past the Joining, that the Maker would spare her and let her master the taint that poisoned her. Yet every time he tried to talk to the woman - to try and get her to open up to him - his efforts were met with fierce anger and most often elven insults that he didn't really understand.

As soon as the two of them had arrived at Ostagar, Duncan had pulled Alistair aside and spoken to him of how Riel had had more than her share of reasons to hate humans, especially men in general. Yet the older Grey Warden refused to elaborate on the why of it. All he would say was that Alistair must respect her wishes not to be touched, and even made Alistair promise to look after the young woman.

It was a promise Alistair took seriously. These long weeks, he has allowed Riel to have her space even though he was dying to be next to her. To hold her in his arms, and do the things that the men in the Grey Wardens would brag about doing to the women in their past. Not that he had much experience in that area, but he was willing to learn if she just would allow him.

Then one day this assassin comes crashing into their lives, and now seems to be slowly doing what Alistair had been trying to do since Ostagar. Alistair not only caught the looks the assassin gave his sweet Riel, but he also caught the quick glances that she would make at the other elf, even though she was more careful to hide it.

What was it about this elf that he seemed to be able to do what he couldn't? What he'd been trying to do for months now?

Why him?

And that last remark by the elf just pushed Alistair's irritation higher. The guilt over being unable to continue fighting the dragon ate him, however after being slammed into a wall by the beast for the unknownth time, he just couldn't find the energy to stand. Out of potions, all Alistair could do was drift in and out of consciousness until the fight was over, and all was quiet. As his mind weaved between conscious states, Alistair barely felt it when Morrigan pulled off his helmet and peered down at him. With uncareful hands, she prodded and poked at him until he got annoyed enough to try and shove her away. Somehow satisfied with his lame effort, she had stood and left him alone on the ground.

It took a long time before he was able to to even lift his head, let alone sit up. Yet eventually Morrigan rejoined him and told him bitterly to stay still while she worked her healing magic on him. Still he ached, and Alistair was positive that Morrigan purposefully left him in more pain than necessary. Yet he was out of healing potions and so could do little more than moan in agony until he was finally able to stand. Alistair was not prepared of the sight that greeted him, though, when he followed Morrigan into an old stone gazebo not too far away.

There against the wall was his Riel, resting against Zevran's chest. It was clear that she was asleep, yet the assassin eyes opened in a flash as soon as Alistair entered the heavily weathered gazebo. His first instinct was jealousy, his mind thinking back to all the times that he had wished Riel would lean against him when she was tired or worn out from fighting. His next emotion though was anger. Did he manipulate her into that position while she slept to try and be close to her? Did she even know where she was, and who she was against? Alistair made a move to step forward and take Riel from the lecherous assassin's arms, yet caught the light of steel down by the elf's leg.

"She chose to rest this way, Templar," Zevran had whispered to him, his tone as hard as the stone he laid against. With his left hand was on the hilt of his dagger, he glared up at Alistair in lethal warning. "And rest she will. If you notice the very dead dragon outside, that was her doing. And I personally think that she has deserved as long as a rest as she can. You will not move her, lest you find out just how sharp my blades actually are."

Coming back the present, Alistair stewed in his anger. The flowers were just the last straw in a very long line of grievances that Alistair had against the other man.

"Perhaps she would congratulate me on killing him. After all, the elf had tried to kill us once. Who is to say that he won't try again?" lied Alistair. However, the lie was easier than the truth in this matter. Truth that said that his precious Riel was falling for the same man who had tried to kill her. And probably would try again.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Zevran was furious. Angry not just at the Templar, but at himself as well. He was moving too fast with his Warden. The flowers were too soon, he saw that now. He should have waited until she was more comfortable with him, and then maybe she would have opened up to him about why she liked those flowers on her own. Instead, he used his talent for eavesdropping to bypass her trust and rush into something she wasn't comfortable with. It was obvious from her reaction that she wasn't prepared for such an intimate thought, yet Zevran couldn't have allowed that bumbling idiot Alistair to give his Warden flowers before he did.

In truth, Zevran had been trying to find a way to ease Riel's nightmares for some time now. The idea to give her something she could take comfort in while she slept came to him the night that he guarded her door at the Inn at Lake Calenhad. Something that would help her feel protected and remind her that despite her dreams, she wasn't in that time anymore and there were people here who would protect her from ever having being hurt like that again.

Zevran didn't know the details of her dreams, but he recognized the pained cries and pleas for whoever it was to stop hurting her. Coupled with her aversion to touch and how she distrusted men, there was little doubt in Zevran's mind what had happened to her. And seeing as the Dalish do not tolerate such behavior, whatever happened to her must have happened to her before joining them.

The thought of his lovely Warden being abused in any way sent Zevran's blood boiling, yet for something so intimate and personal to happen to her…. It was why he was so careful with her. Letting her set what she was comfortable with and not pushing her unless she was ready. Yet he ignored his instincts and settled for his jealousy instead.

When Alistair had started asking about what type of flowers Riel would like, Zevran had known the Templar's plans without even asking. And the idea of that fool giving her something so intimate infuriated him. Not only would he get his Warden some flower that she probably didn't even like, but giving her something like that was  _his_  job,  **not**  Alistair's. And now his jealousy and his pride may have damaged what little work he had accomplished with his beautiful Warden.

Cursing to himself, Zevran knew that he had to explain himself to Riel. To try and fix whatever damage he had done by being too impetuous. Yet he wished to avoid a full out brawl with the foolish Templar if he could. Although it would be child's play to end his miserable life, Zevran needed the trust of his Warden. And gutting the imbecile where he stood probably would be looked at as a bad thing, no matter how much the man deserved it.

Zevran peeked slightly outside of his tent to see if the others were still outside. Unfortunately, the  _pendejo_  was still sitting next to the blazing fire, as well as the red haired beauty Leliana seated not too far away.

Good thing he was an assassin who mastered in stealth, then,  _no_?

Silently, Zevran melded with the shadows of the camp and slipped free of his tent. Moving quickly, he was free of the camp without even so much as a leaf crunching under his steps. Within a few minutes Zevran found himself hidden amongst the brush near the shore of the small river. The mabari by the water lifted his head and sniffed the air as he caught Zevran's scent, yet the beast only huffed out a tired greeting before lowering his head and going back to sleep.

Out on the water was his Warden, bathed in the soft light of the moon above, causing Zevran's breath to catch in his throat as he witnessed her beauty. By the gods, she was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. Lithe and full of strength, she wasn't as dainty as most other elven women were. Under her smooth skin were muscles honed by hours of fighting or training with her blades. And even in the midst of battle, the smooth yet deadly way she attacked her foes was enough to cause distraction in even the most devout of Chantry brother.

Again Zevran felt a tightening of his small clothes, and he cursed his wandering mind. Although it wasn't exactly his mind that he cursed. More he cursed the organ that rested between his thighs, awake and standing proud at the deviant thoughts Zevran was having of his lovely Warden. Afterall, may have been a gentleman assassin, but he was still a man. And Riel was a goddess brought to the earth for him to worship in any way that she would let him.

After a few moments of watching her float effortlessly, suddenly Riel stood and shook her head, a look of fear in her eyes.

"I just need some rest. That's all. They're dead, they can't hurt me anymore."

Those words struck Zevran like a blow to the chest. Here he was, watching her like some pervert in the shadows, when she had already suffered so much. Disgusted with himself, Zevran was about to turn and leave when Riel turned, showing her back to him as she she looked out on the water. And that's when he saw them.

The burns. The scars. The awful remnants of torture and abuse.

Being raised by the Crows, Zevran knew a thing or two about torture. The recruits were trained to resist torture no matter how extreme, and as full Crows, they were taught  _how_  to torture as well as just being able to receive it. It was this experience that told him that the marks on her were not just simple lashings or beatings from a cruel master. No, she was  _tortured_. And judging from the extent of the scaring on her back, it wasn't just once or twice. The marks reached down her back to her buttocks and even her upper thighs. As if they were made with the thought in mind as to what would be able to be easily hidden behind normal clothing.

If Zevran thought he was angry before, it was nothing compared to the rage he felt coursing through his veins now. He knew first hand what it was like to be on the receiving end of torture and cruel lashings. Yet what she had to have gone through to get such scarring was so much worse. Her entire back was one large tapestry of pain, a roadmap of all the cruelty that people can possess.

Without thinking, Zevran ran out of the shadows and confronted her, spinning her around and grabbing her wrists as he looked heatedly into her shocked eyes.

"Who did this you, Riel? Tell me, so I can have the pleasure of ripping their spines from their still twitching corpses!" Zevran yelled at her, for the moment oblivious to the fear in her eyes.

With both her wrists trapped within Zevran's strong grip, Riel's mind raced frantically. She promised herself that she would never be trapped again, never be forced upon again! With her instincts coming to life and her desire to protect herself overriding her common sense, Riel's careful control snapped. Without caring who was holding her or the repercussions of her actions, Riel felt her hands grow hot as she unleashed a mind pulse, knocking Zevran into the air and back several feet. With a grunt he landed on the shore, looking up to sky and wondering just had happened. Slowly he lifted himself up and regarded his Warden in new light. Disbelief and shock on his face, Zevran stared up at the woman who he had come to care so deeply for. His mind raced as it tried frantically to make sense of what just happened. None of it made sense, and yet...

"You're a  _ **mage**_?!"

With tears streaming down her face, Riel's whole body trembled, both from the power she had unleashed as well as from the fear and adrenaline racing through her body. She absolutely hated using her powers, knowing full well that anybody witnessing her use magic would lock her away again. It was the reason she desperately learned all she could about being a rogue. However, none of that matter now. Her long feared secret was out.

Zevran  _knew_.

_Would he try to lock her away too?_


	11. New Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, and I would appreciate any reviews!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty". A term of endearment Zevran has for Riel.
> 
> Elgar'nan: Elvhen god. Represents fatherhood and vengeance, and leads the pantheon with the goddess Mythal.
> 
> Shem: Short for "Shemlen". Elven. Derogatory word used for humans. Means literally "quick children".
> 
> Mi dulce: Antivan. "My sweet." A term of endearment.
> 
> Flat ear: A name the Dalish have given to city elves. Usually meant as a derogatory slur.
> 
> Mi diosa bella: Antivan. "My beautiful goddess."

Zevran couldn't believe what had just happened. His glorious Warden, a  _mage_?  Never had he thought that a mage was even able to learn how to use normal weaponry, yet as he thought about it, the more foolish that notion came to be. Of course, anyone can learn how to use a sword or a dagger, but most of the time people became - and stayed - what seemed to match their innate abilities. In all of his travels, Zevran had never before met a mage who also wielded something other than a staff. And that was saying something.

" _Please_... You cannot speak of this..."

It was then that Zevran saw the tears that stream down Riel's face; the look of absolute fear in her eyes. Quickly, Zevran got to his feet and again approached her, careful this time to not touch her lest she do something more lethal than just send him flying a few feet.

" _Mi bella_ , why didn't you say anything? I do not care if you are a mage. Why would you hide this?"

"I can't be locked up again! Not again! Promise me, Zevran! Swear to me you will not speak of this, or by Elgar'nan's grace I will cut you down where you stand!" Riel's eyes burned with fury and fear, the mixture almost giving her an ethereal glow in the moonlight.

Zevran looked on her, still confused. Why would he lock her up simply for being a mage? Then the realization came upon him like a crashing wave. Immediately Zevran felt like an immense idiot as he mentally chastised himself. Of course she was terrified! Mages were often locked away in towers by the Templars under direction of the Chantry. To her, it would be as if being held captive again. To no longer be able to choose her own life or her own path; the fear of a repeat of her past would drive most anyone to go to extreme lengths to prevent that from happening again.

Looking at her now, trembling from both fear and her memories, she looked more vulnerable than ever. This wasn't the proud and strong woman who slayed Darkspawn and demons alike. The woman who stared down a High Dragon and killed it by severing its spine. This was the frightened and scared woman he saw rare glimpses of whenever someone got to close to her. The one was who was at the brutal mercy of people not fit to lick the dirt that she walked on. This was the slave who swore to never be a slave again. Who would do anything to keep her freedom, even hide everything about true self and pretend to be someone else. And in her eyes blazed a fire that promised death to anyone who dared to try and imprison her again.

" _Mi bella_ , you have my oath," Zevran replied with a bow and his fist over his heart. "Your secret is safe with me, have no worry. That day you spared my life, I made a vow to follow you. Not long after, I made another vow to do all within my power to keep you safe from anyone who dared to threaten you. And I tell you here and now that I gladly stand by both of those promises. Let the Maker and the gods above hear me now when I say that I will protect and shield you for the rest of my days, if you will let me."

Despite the tremors that wracked her body, Riel remained unable to move. Her arms were locked protectively around her chest, doing little to shield herself from him or his eyes. She was naked, afraid, and on the verge of collapse, yet even as fear and uncertainty filled her, Riel couldn't seem to make herself move. She felt frozen in place, held like an animal caught in a trap, looking up at the one being who could end her life as easily as breathing. Yet when she looked into the other elf's eyes, all she saw was concern and affection. There was no anger or malice. No hints of ways to use her secret to his advantage. There was only…. things she recognized but could not place a name to. Things that echoed in her own heart. And yet….

Did she dare trust him? Tears streaked down Riel's face as she regarded him fully. He was an assassin, a murderer, someone skilled in the art of deception and betrayal...

"How do I know I can trust you? You were raised to kill, to deceive…" A shudder went through her just thinking of all the ways he could hurt her if he wished. Funny, being with him these past few days, she had almost forgotten what he was. With his kind eyes and easy laugh, she had forgotten just how dangerous he was. New tremors broke out over her body, yet she forced her voice to be steady. "By your very nature, you lie and betray. You seek out weaknesses and use them against your enemies when they least expect it. And that isn't even including everything that I have come to know and expect about men. Everything my life has taught me, tells me that men only wish to dominate and control everything around them. Especially women. So tell me,  _please_ , how can I trust you?"

Riel's words cut him deeper than a thousand daggers, yet Zevran could not deny them even if he had tried. That was how a Crow was raised to be. How  **he**  was raised to be. To be ruthless, cunning, and always looking out for the easy kill. Every word she said had been true, yet with her, Zevran felt that he was now something different than what he had been trained to be. His desire to protect and shield her made no sense to his Crow training, nor did the feelings that grew within him every time she looked at him with those captivating silver eyes of hers.

 _Please_  she had begged him. As if she were looking for a reason to trust.  _Wanting_  to trust him. Yet the fear and anger that she had spent her entire life in prevented her from making that step on her own. And she was begging him for help in crossing that huge divide.

Slowly Zevran stepped closer to her until they were mere inches apart. He was so close, he could feel her breath on his skin and the water she stood in drenched his boots. Yet he never took his eyes off hers. Zevran then took out one of his dangers, causing a sharp intake of breath from Riel.

"I swore to you once that you will always be safe with me. And I repeat that vow to you now. I will never deceive you, and you will  _ **never**_  have anything to fear from me,  _mi diosa bella_." Zevran placed the hilt of the dagger into her palms and lined the blade up with his heart. With only a small bit of force, she could plunge the dagger straight through to his heart, killing him in moments. "If you doubt me, please, kill me now. At least then I would die happy, looking into your beautiful eyes."

Riel couldn't breathe. She couldn't even move. Looking into his eyes, she felt helpless, trapped in his kindness and devotion. Inside her chest, her heart beat furiously, threatening to burst forth from her chest at any moment. Yet her instincts told Riel to trust him. To perhaps allow him the chance to mend her broken spirit. Riel closed her eyes, so incredibly weary from the constant battling. Not just with creatures or others out to harm her, but with herself. The battle to keep herself in check and her powers hidden and under control. Yet still she was frightened. Frightened of all the ways that she knew a man could hurt a woman.

_But when kind people see her hurting and help anyway that they can, she heals more quickly to her former glory than if she were left alone to heal herself._

The Keeper's words rang clear in Riel's mind as she searched inside for an answer. Opening her eyes, she stared into his extraordinary amber eyes. Saying a prayer to Mythal, Riel decided that maybe, this time, it was worth the risk. With a fresh bunch of tears falling from her eyes, Riel dropped the blade and collided hard against him. Wrapping her arms around him, Riel finally dropped her carefully constructed walls and guards and let herself mourn for all the pain and abuse that she suffered for most of her young life.

Unsure of what to do, Zevran held his hands away from her even though he wanted desperately to hold her against him until all the pain inside of her was gone. However, the last thing that he wanted was to frighten her again, or push her past anything that she was comfortable with. For him, her happiness and safety meant more than his own petty desires.

" _Mi bella_?" Zevran asked cautiously, daring to hope that maybe she would finally allow him to hold her as he had dreamed about.

However, instead of answering him, all Riel did was nod her head against his chest. With the sobs that wracked her very being, Riel didn't dare trust her voice and hoped that he would understand her. And as he somehow always seem to, he did. No sooner had she nodded did Riel feel his strong arms encircle her protectively.

For a brief moment, she felt her body tense at his touch, yet it disappeared quickly and she felt herself melt into him. Her body reaching out and seeking the comfort that she had always craved yet was always too afraid to seek out.

Zevran couldn't believe his luck and for a moment prayed that he wasn't dreaming. And if he was, he prayed to never wake up. Here in his arms, his beautiful goddess stood, and he was finally able to hold her as so often wished to. Feelings strange yet familiar raced through him, cementing even further his previous oaths in both his heart and mind.

Suddenly, they both heard someone approaching from the direction of the camp. Immediately Zevran pulled free his other dagger and shifted his body so that Riel was shielded by him from whatever intruder that came upon them.

"By the Maker! Unhand her, you filthy elf!"

Both Riel and Zevran looked over in shock as Alistair came free from the brush, his long sword held out and pointing directly at Zevran.

"I said, unhand her! Or I swear by all that is within the Fade, I will cut you down!" Alistair roared.

When Alistair noticed that Riel seemed to be taking longer than normal for her bath, he had grown worried. There didn't seem to be any real dangers close by, and he couldn't sense any Darkspawn in the area, yet that didn't mean more mundane creatures could not surprise and overtake their leader.

Leliana had already went to lie down, and Alistair had planned on staying awake until Riel returned. Sitting there by the fire with only his thoughts, Alistair made up his mind to finally broach the subject of the elven assassin with Riel. He would explain to her that the the other elf he was a true danger to not just her, but the whole group. Assassin's loyalty could always be bought, and with Loghain wanting both of them dead, it wouldn't be inconceivable that he would try again with the elf, seeing as he was already within their group and moderately trusted. After all, he was paid once to end their lives, what was to keep him from accepting a similar offer, especially if it got him back with his fellow Crows?

Alistair had even entertained the idea that maybe this time, he could perhaps get Riel to finally open herself up to him, allowing him to finally tell Riel how he really did care for her. However, as time went by and she still had not returned, he grew ever more worried, and eventually he decided to risk seeking her out.

Yet, here she was, standing naked in that killer's arms! Alistair's blood boiled and his mind reeled as images of the two of them together assaulted him. Was this why she was late coming back? Was she being accosted by this murderer, while he and others waited back at camp? How dare he do such a thing! Did the filthy elf have no sense of honor? Of  _decency_?

Startled by Alistair's sudden appearance, Riel had no opportunity to shield herself. And judging from the sudden gust of wind that chilled her still somewhat wet skin, Riel realized to her shame that she was very much still naked!

"Alistair!" Riel shrieked from behind Zeran, his body thankfully hiding most of her naked flesh from the human's eyes.

"I suppose it goes without saying that you have a very unpleasant sense of timing, my dear Templar," Zevran snarled, keeping his dagger out and pointed at Alistair who stood just a few feet away on the shore.

"Shut your mouth, you vile fiend! I have put up with you for far too long! How dare you take advantage of Riel!" Alistair was spitting he was so furious, yet the Maker knew he was justified. No woman deserved to be taken advantage of, especially one so wonderful as his Riel.

"Alistair stop this! Put that sword away before I use it to cut you down myself!" Riel furiously shouted at her fellow Warden, stepping around Zevran and facing him down directly.

Later Zevran would marvel at her courage and fierce temper as she stared down the fully armored and armed Templar while she wore nothing but what the gods gave her. Now, however, he cursed he gently took her arm and pulled her behind him once more and retook his place standing in between the two Wardens.

"Leave Alistair! You have no business here!" From behind him, her silver eyes snapped fire as she stared menacingly at the other man.

"Just what in the name of Andraste were you two doing out here?" Alistair spat back, completely incredulous that Riel would defend this monster. "Do you have any idea how worried I was back in camp, wondering what was taking you so long? Wondering if some animal got to you? And here you are, dallying with this  _ **filthy knife-ear!**_ "

Perhaps it was the shock and pain on Riel's face, or the murderous look that descended on Zevran's face, or just his mind catching up with his own foolish mouth, but a heartbeat later did Alistair realize too late what he had said. Not only what he just said, but to  _whom_.

"Oh, Riel! I didn't-... That's not-... Not you-..." Alistair stammered, dropping his sword to the ground as his previous anger dissolved into disgust and shame at himself.

"Don't you dare Alistair!" exclaimed Riel in bitter rage. No longer caring for her state of undress, she stepped around Zevran once more and faced off with her fellow Warden. "Do you think I have not noticed how you view my people? That I have not heard you use those very words to describe the elves who you shems forced to live in alienages, deprived of many of the very necessaries of life? I may be Dalish, but I have seen how your people treat mine. I remember the alienage in Denerim. I remember how I was treated by the soldiers in Ostagar."

Alistair felt as if he was no more than two feet tall under the blazing hot fury of Riel's intense glare. Gone was the vulnerable woman from minutes before, and in her place was the fiery and dangerous elven warrior who slew Darkspawn and dragons alike. Her silver eyes as cold as a winter storm, her features set in hard stone. Her stance alone spoke of terrible fury barely contained as she fought to not kill the human in front of her.

Frustrated with her again avoiding the protection of his body, Zevran took two steps over and grabbed the tunic that laid in a pile on the shore. Haphazardly, he tried wrapping it around his Warden even as she continued to stare daggers at the other man. Not only was he worried about her skin being exposed to the cold air, but he despised how someone so unworthy of her was able to see her enchanting nakedness. Not that he was worthy himself, but at least he had the decency to try and cover her up instead of continuing to stare at her body like the Templar was doing.

" _Mi dulce_ , please, let us return to camp. It serves neither of us to lower ourselves to this  _man_ ," Zevran uttered with a sneer. "It has been a long, hard day, and you need your rest," he then purred into Riel's ear, lightly running his fingertips along the back of her upper arm.

For a moment, Riel's gaze softened as she turned her head and looked up at the handsome elf beside her, a slight smile appearing on her lips. The sensation of his touch on her skin was like nothing she had ever felt before, and for a moment she allowed herself to just lose herself in its comfort. However, within seconds her soft smile was gone and her features hardened again as her gaze returned to the fool human.

"Despite my personal feelings,  _Alistair_ ," pure acid and venom laced her voice as she uttered the human's name. "I need allies. This Blight is real, and having you among us strengthens our position," Riel stated coldly as she coldly regarded the other Warden. "But do not think that I will think twice again to remove you of your head if you ever use those words again in my presence." Then Riel quickly pulled her tunic over head and then gathered up the rest of her things before storming back towards the camp on her own.

Alistair watched her go with utter despair in his eyes. Never once did he really make the connection between Riel and her her elven blood. He always saw her as what she was - a beautiful and exotic woman who was deadly with her blades. A woman, who despite her cold nature, was mostly kind to those who they came across and who needed their help. She was a woman who made his heart beat faster and whose feminine curves threatened the very core of all that he had been taught in regards to the opposite sex.

"Listen here,  _Fool_..." Zevran's harsh tone brought Alistair's mind back to the present, and he gazed upon a very pissed off elven assassin. Alistair tensed his body and cursed himself for dropping his blade as Zevran walked towards him with a murderous glare in his eyes.

"I am not afraid of you,  _assassin_ ," Alistair sneered, hoping the other man would not be able to sense his lie. Unlike Riel, he had heard of the guild of assassins known as the Crows years ago when he was still in the Chantry. The tales of their involvement in many of the deaths and conspiracies in both Antiva and Orlais were heated topics among some of the Templars that he had trained with before Duncan came stole him away. However, it wasn't like Alistair would ever admit that, most of all to the assassin himself.

"Oh, you do not need to fear me, Templar," Zevran stated, a wide smile on his lips standing in complete contrast to the pure hatred and fury in his eyes. "Whether you feel fear or not, it will not dissuade me in the slightest from taking extreme amounts of pleasure in slowly - and very  _painfully_  I might add - ending your pathetic life. I will make the rumors and tales of what Darkspawn do to the survivors of their attacks seem like a happy dream compared to what I promise will happen to you if you  **ever**  do anything to hurt our fair Warden again."

With that Zevran pushed past Alistair, knocking his shoulder in the process as a further, silent threat, before following his -  _ **his**_  - Warden back to camp. Even if she never fully accepted him, she was his, and he would forever protect her as such. Especially from foolish and contemptible ex-Templars.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Riel shook with anger and shame as she shoved her dirty tunic into her bag, then threw it across her small tent. Over and over again she kept going over what Alistair had said to her when he came upon her and Zevran by the water. With the chaos and drama of Zevran finding out what she really was and the sweetness of the moment afterward, Riel had forgotten how was still completely naked from her swim. So when Alistair approached them and saw her there…. Even now Riel's cheeks reddened with embarrassment and shame. Having Zevran see her naked was bad enough, but for such a disgusting human to see her shameful and broken body like that…

" **Ugh!** " Just remembering his eyes on her made Riel feel even more dirty than she had when the blood and dirt from fighting still covered her.

Yet the worst of all was the horror knowing that Zevran had seen her scars and burns from when she was still a slave. And that knowledge consumed her in a deep and ugly feeling of shame and self-loathing. Of all people, why him? Why did he be the one to see her disgrace? For some unknown reason, Zevran was able to touch a part of her that Riel never knew had even existed. And as she stood there under his intense gaze and vow upon his lips, Riel couldn't help but feel something connecting the two of them.

A connection that ran deeper than just being companions in a war, or even because they were both elves. And the way he had looked down at her when he promised to never hurt her… Riel had only really seen that look he gave her shared between those couples were bonded - or promised to be - when she had lived with the Dalish.

Riel never really had thought of herself as beautiful, and in truth never wanted to be. She had spent most of her life trying to make herself less desirable and noticeable so those around her wouldn't hurt her. And when the boys back in the clan would look at her with longing in their eyes, she always returned their looks with threats or angry glares. Eventually they learned to not even bother. Except for Tamlen, of course. Yet he never never tried anything with her, and she was happy about that. She didn't want to be desirable to them, or anyone else for that matter. Such things only led to pain in Riel's opinion. Generally her own. And yet the way Zevran had looked on her… As if she were precious instead of the horrible broken thing that Riel knew herself to be...

Suddenly the light rapping of someone knocking on the wooden supports for her tent brought Riel's attention back to the present. Startled and decidedly not in the mood to deal with any of her companions, Riel remained silent, pretending to be asleep already.

" _Mi bella_ , are you well? May I see you?"

The soft words mixed with concern melted whatever anger Riel had left, leaving her suddenly heavy with grief and sadness. The added shame of earlier also weighed her down to the point where all she wanted to do was curl into a ball and sleep. She didn't want to face him or his questions about her past. Remembering the horrors that had happened to her well enough to retell them to someone else seemed unbearable. It was why Riel never spoke of it. It was just far easier to push it all aside and forget about it for as long as possible.

Yet, Riel found she could not find it within herself to deny his request. Remembering back to the river as Zevran defended her from Alistair, even stepping in front of Riel to protect her, she felt that she owed him at least a small visit to assure himself that she was alright.

Not trusting her voice under the swell of emotions that threatened to drown her, Riel just pulled back one side of the cloth opening in a silent confirmation of his request. One that Zevran quickly took advantage of in case she changed her mind.

The tent was not large, barely high enough to stand while bent at the waist, and with all the gear and armor inside it barely held enough room for them both to sit comfortably without touching.

"I, uh, I wanted to offer my apologies for my behavior when I saw..." Zevran stopped, unsure of how to continue. He wanted desperately to apologize for the disgraceful way that he acted, yet was hesitant of how she would react to being reminded of how he had seen all the scars and burns that she had kept carefully hidden beneath her armor.

"It is alright, Zevran," Riel replied dismissively with a small sigh. "You are not the first to see them, although I do not think I can speak of it. Not yet, anyway," she replied, her words careful as she felt tears again threaten behind her eyes. Never since her escape had her emotions been this unstable around another person. Usually her anger kept her from showing the weakness of tears in front of others. It had strengthened her, and it was what pushed her to keep going everyday. Yet now as she sat next to Zevran, all of her built up anger just seemed so incredibly empty.

"You never have to worry,  _mi bella_. I will never ask more of you then are willing to share. You can keep all your secrets to yourself, and I will be happy just to be in your presence, offering whatever support that I can."

"How do you do that?" Riel suddenly asked. The question seemed to come from nowhere, yet there was no anger or volatility to it. It was merely a curiosity, something she didn't understand. Of what, Zevran had no idea.

"Do what, my dear Warden?"

"This…-" Riel replied, waving her hands between them to somehow emphasize her point. However, with the confused look still on his face, Riel sighed as she tried to think of a better way to express what had plagued her mind since the moment that they had met. "Ever since we spoke together that first time, you seem to have this way of lowering my guard. You have done things that would have landed a normal man onto the closest healer's bed, if not in the Beyond itself. Yet with you... With you, it seems...  _right_."

Zevran sat there, silently contemplating her words. He had to admit, a large part of him was very glad he seemed to have this effect on this lovely woman. Her confusion was warranted, however, judging from what little he knew of her past. Zevran himself had even wondered about this strange connection they seemed to share. He had noticed it himself from the first moment he had laid eyes on her.

In the beginning, it was what kept him close to her whenever they travelled, and much of what had kept him from falling to fatigue in battles, even to this day. There have been more than a few times when Zevran thought that his injuries should have ended him. Yet whenever his body thought of failing, his eyes sought out his beautiful flower. And with the terrible yet incredible images of her fighting with blazing fury, Zevran always seemed to find some left over reserve to continue on, fighting to defend her from whatever it was that they faced.

"To be honest, I am not sure myself. Everything that I have ever learned tells me what I feel is wrong. Yet my heart and my mind cannot seem to tear themselves from the feelings and thoughts that they have of you. Your very presence drives me to fight harder so that I may see you safe. When you are gone from me, I am endlessly plagued by worries of your safety and yes, even happiness."

"You barely know me."

"I may not know your past, but know who you are today, I know you to be loyal even to those you do not fully trust. I know you often refuse to seek healing until the others around you have gotten it first. I know you to never turn down the help of those who ask it of you, even if they do not deserve it. I know how fiercely you fight against any enemy, never showing fear or anything else short of pure determination to make sure you and your companions survive. And -" Zevran paused as he slowly brought his hand over to her mostly bare arm. There he softly ran his index finger in slight caress against her skin. "I know how much you sometimes want to be touched - to be comforted - even though you do not know if you can handle it."

Riel closed her eyes at the slight touch, warm sensations racing up her arm and settling into her chest. Yet for as much as she enjoyed the feelings he evoked in her, a bitter fear raged in her at the same time. "But I-" Riel tried to voice, her voice on the verge of breaking. "I am not like other women. I cannot... give you...-"

"Shh,  _mi bella._  You do not ever need to worry over that," Zevran quickly replied as he edged himself closer to Riel, boldly deciding to reach out his hand to cup her cheek. "As I stated earlier, I will never ask for what you are not ready to give. I do not know what happened to you in your past, but I understand how uneasy you become around others. It makes me angry to think of what could have happened to make you so weary, and yes a part of me wishes to find out all their names so I may hunt them down and give back a hundredfold what you suffered at their hands."

"Th-they are all dead..."

"Good. They deserve no less," Zevan stated quickly while he stared at her. "There is only one thing I desire from you,  _mi bella_ ; to be allowed to comfort you when you need it."

Riel couldn't keep the tears from flowing as he said those heartfelt words to her. Immediately, she knew she would not be able to deny him his one request. Because she didn't want to. For too long, she had felt so immensely alone. Even with her clan, Riel always felt on edge with them. Afraid that one day they would send her away to face the human world on her own. Riel had often heard the stories that some of the other shared in whispered voices, about how flat-ears were no better than the shems themselves. How those raised amongst the humans should never be trusted, as they often were under the control of or polluted by the humans that surrounded them.

Yet looking at him now, for the first time in her life, Riel felt not just merely safe, but welcomed. As if for once she actually mattered. Not because she was adopted by the Keeper, or because she was Warden. She was  _valued_  by someone. Not for what she could give them, or what they could take from her. But because of simply who she was. Riel couldn't explain the why of it. Everything about how she felt right now went against every hard lesson that she had learned growing up under her master's painful hand.

"Zevran...?"

"Yes,  _mi diosa bella_?"

"Can... you just... hold... me... for a little while?"

The request nearly broke Zevran's heart all over again. So innocent, so fearful. As if even after all the words shared between them, she still feared he would change his mind and look upon her cruelly before abandoning her.

Zevran didn't answer, he just pulled the sobbing woman into his arms so she sat sideways on his lap and her head rested against his chest. Lightly wrapping his arms around her, he held her for what seemed like hours as she wrung every last sob from her broken body. All the while, Zevran gently rocked her in his arms as he slowly rubbed her back and hair. In a hushed tone, he whispered and sang softly to her in Antivan. Words of devotions. Songs of comfort. Anything he could think of to ease her while she cried.

_I promise you, mi diosa bella, on everything that I am and everything within the Fade itself._

_I promise that no matter what comes, you will never again be alone again._


	12. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, and I would appreciate any reviews!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." A term of endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mierda: Antivan. "Shit." A common swear word.

Slowly, Riel came awake to the sounds of birds chirping and the sounds of people moving around outside in the camp. Breathing in deeply, Riel smiled at the mixture of foreign spices and sunshine that filled her senses.

"Good morning,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran purred from above her. Riel smiled as she felt his warmth against her. Opening her eyes, she was surprised at just how calm she was at finding him next to her in her tent.

"Did I sleep in?"

"You needed it. You've been sound asleep all night, and I, your dutiful follower, have made sure to stay close by to watch over you."

"I'm glad you did," Riel murmured, turning over so she could snuggle into his chest.

"You truly do not mind? I must admit, I was almost expecting you to cause some sort of bodily harm upon me once you awoke. Not that I would mind, of course. I think you could stab me at this point, and I would be happy that I was allowed the pleasure of being your pincushion."

Riel giggled softly against him. "I think you're safe for now."

"You are beautiful when you laugh,  _mi bella_. I must endeavor to use my humor on you more often from now on."

Riel felt a soft pressure on her upper arm, and she opened her eyes to see Zevran pull his hand away sheepishly. "No, don't stop. I… I don't mind."

Zevran again said a prayer of thanks for the beauty before him as he went back to lightly caressing her arm. All that night he had watched over as she slept, measuring her every breath and movement. When it looked as if her nightmares would come upon her, Zevran would speak softly to her in Antivan, whispering how much he cared for her and how he was there watching over her. He would place a gentle hand on her shoulder or arm, and instantly Riel would calm in her sleep, returning to a peacefulness that he was sure he had never before seen his lovely Warden in.

As the hours passed until daylight came, Zevran found himself memorizing everything he could about her face and how she looked. A part of him wished he could pull her against him and touch every inch of her skin just so he could also memorize how she felt. Yet he held back, careful not to wake or startle her. Besides, he felt lecherous enough as it was, staring at her while she slept.

So lost in his thoughts of her that Zevran didn't notice her hand come up and lightly touch his cheek. Startled, he didn't mean to pull away slightly and inwardly he cursed at himself when she removed her hand, a look of shame on her eyes. Carefully her took her hand in his and brought it to his mouth where he laid a gentle kiss upon her fingertips.

"I didn't mean for you to pull away,  _mi bella_. Please, do not be afraid to touch me," Zevran purred as he placed another kiss against her fingers.

"I've never really wanted to before. It seemed wrong before…" whispered Riel as let her fingers gently brush against his lips and then his chin.

"And now?"

"I don't know…" she answered truthfully, her brow furrowing as she tried to understand the deep feelings that were invading every part of her being. "It's strange…"

"Mmm? How so?" Zevran was going delirious with how good her light touches felt on his skin. Just barely a whisper of a touch, and yet he felt as better than he had in ages.

"I'm not afraid."

The statement was so simple, yet so profound coming from a woman such as her. Even though she faced down demons and monsters, what scared her most was even just the slightest touch. And now to have her here with him, giving him her most valuable possession - trust. A blazing heat bloomed all over Zevran's body as a deep need erupted under his skin.

With her luscious and beautiful lips just inches from his own, Zevran felt his control buckling. This gorgeous woman floored him with her vulnerability and her bravery, and in that moment there was only the two of them. Hungrily Zevran looked down to her lips, wanting desperately to have a taste of her. Slowly his head moved closer to hers, following its own instincts rather than rather calm control that he usually had whenever it came his Warden. When their lips barely touched, from under him he felt Riel suddenly seize up and then quickly push herself away.

"No!" she exclaimed in a rushed breath, her eyes wide with panic.

" _Mierda_! Riel I am so sorry!" Zevran cursed loudly. How could he have been so stupid?

"I felt… I felt…." Now Riel was close to hyperventilating, her frantic eyes staring at the bulge behind Zevran's trousers that was currently doing its best to get free.

 _Oh dammit! I am such a bastard!_  Zevran cursed at himself silently. Outraged at himself and his treacherous body, Zevran slammed the heel of his hand against his groin causing a sharp pain to ricocheted through his body. Yet it was what he deserved. That and a so much worse. Where were his fellow Crows when he needed a good flogging?

Thankfully the pain seemed to tame the witless creature behind his trousers enough where it was no longer in danger of breaking free on it's own. Still, that didn't make up for how badly he reacted, or how much he screwed up with his Warden. Still mentally cursing himself, Zevran dared another look at Riel.

Sitting at the opposite end of the tent, her legs were curled under her and she had one hand clinging tightly to the cloth flap that led outside. She was breathing rapidly, and held every look of a frightened animal that was ready to bolt at the smallest sign of trouble.

"Perhaps you should have stabbed me earlier," Zevran tried to joke. "I would certainly much rather be your pincushion now. And it is not as if it wouldn't be well deserved."

Slowly Zevran sat up, making sure to keep his hands visible to her. When he was able, he pushed himself farther away from her even though every instinct in him wanted to hold her and beg for forgiveness. Yet it's clear that even his instincts couldn't be trusted when she was so close to him.

"I am not going to hurt you,  _mi bella_. There isn't enough room in all the Fade for me to lay apologies down at your feet for the careless way that I acted. If you wish it, I will leave here your tent and allow you to calm down. By the Maker, if you wished to bleed me for my stupidity, I would hand you both my blades to use."

A heavy silence hung between them while Riel forced her breathing under control and Zevran sat unmoving for fear of scaring her further. Finally she seemed to calm her nerves enough she let go of the tent curtain and her breathing slowed.

"This was a mistake…" Riel suddenly said, her eyes going hard and distant. The same way she always had looked before Zevran had managed to slightly gain her trust. And now he had just broken it.

"No, it was  _my_  mistake,  _mi bella_. I pushed you too much, too soon."

"I can't do this, Zevran. I can't be... be… -" her voice was raising, her panic beginning to rise again.

" _Mi bella_ , please…" Zevran wanted so desperately to comfort her. To take her in his arms and tell her how incredibly stupid he was.

"No…! I told you…. I'm broken, Zevran. And you can't fix something that is broken." Riel's voice was hard as she looked at him, her eyes showing a mixture of shame and anger.

"Riel, no. You are not broken. I am just incredibly stupid.  _Please…_." Zevran was begging now, although for what he didn't know. He didn't deserve to beg for her forgiveness. He didn't deserve anything from her, except a painful death.

"I don't know whether I want to hug you or kill you!" Riel finally blurted out, tears coming out of her eyes. "I'm… broken….! Don't you get it?!"

Zevran took the dagger that was beside him and offered it Riel, handle side up. "Personally with what I deserve, I would choose death. But if you do not kill me, then please,  _please_  let me hug you."

Riel stared at him for what seemed like an eternity before she launched herself at him. In that moment, Zevran wasn't sure if really did intend to kill him. Yet he would not have stopped her. He would gladly die by her hand if it meant that she could finally stop hurting. Yet Riel didn't grab for the dagger in his hand. Instead she wrapped her arms around his chest and buried her face against his neck. Zevran dropped the dagger and lightly wrapped his arms around her, careful to not hold too tightly. He was also careful that at no time did she come into contact with the lower half of his body. That thing had caused enough trouble, and Zevran wasn't looking for a repeat.

"I hate this, and I hate feeling like this, and I hate being scared, and I hate being angry, and I hate being sad, and I hate you for making me feel safe, and I hate you for making me care for you." The long ramble came out quickly and was muffled slightly by her face against his neck, yet Zevran understood everything. He didn't say anything, just let her rant at him as he gently rubbed her back.

When finally she seemed to calm down, Zevran started whispering to her in Antivan just as he did the night before. His apologies, his regrets, his feelings. Everything that he wanted to say to her in a way that she could understand, yet was afraid to.

"You're going to have to teach me to speak in Antivan," Riel suddenly mumbled against him.

"Oh? Why is that?"

Riel adjusted her head so that it rested against his chest. Listening to his heartbeat calmed her better than her own best attempts on her own. "If you're going to be sticking around for a while, I want to know all the nasty and horrible things that you say about me."

Zevran couldn't help but chuckle. To run such an extreme of emotions in so short of time, only to come back to humor now felt oddly right. As if despite all that had just happened between the two of them, this was where they were supposed to end up. Back in each other's arms, making small jokes.

" _Mi bella_ , if you'll allow me, I will teach you absolutely everything that I know."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"I honestly don't know why you bother," Morrigan groused as she looked over to Leliana.

"Because I like Zevran. And I know a thing or two about overcoming the bad things in our past."

"So you  _do_  have an idea as to who would win."

Leliana rolled her eyes at the witch as she finished restocking their party pack with the new potions that Morrigan had brewed for them that morning. "Why are you so certain that Alistair would lose?"

"Simple. He's an oaf. And while brute strength aids mindless tools like him, the assassin has cleverness on his side."

"Which is exactly why I sent Alistair and Sten off this morning to retrieve those dragon scales."

"And here I thought that you wanted them to sell."

"I do," Leliana assured her friend as she set the pack aside. "But it also keeps Alistair from killing Zevran if he finds out that he spent the night in Riel's tent."

Morrigan laughed, going back to stirring the blue liquid she had simmering over the campfire. Her potions were not as good as some as the ones you could buy in the store, but they would do until they reached the next town. And even weak lyrium and health potions were better than none.

"No!"

Both women looked up from their duties as the familiar voice called out from Riel's tent. Immediately Morrigan's hand crackled with magic as she readied to roast the pig assassin for whatever harm he had done to her friend. Leliana raised her hand to steady the witch, however, and snuck over to the tent that Riel used. Carefully she listened in, waiting to hear any signs of struggle or muffled cries. And if she heard any, whether she had liked the elf or not, he was going to be so dead.

Leliana may have liked the Antivan, but Riel was her best friend. And she would gladly skin the elf if he harmed her friend. Crouching just outside the tent, she listened for an extended time before she sadly shook her head and silently made her way back to Morrigan.

"Well? Which is it? Do we have have roast Antivan for our supper tonight or not?"

"They are fine, Morrigan. Just a misunderstanding."

"Oh? What misunderstanding?" Leliana looked up from her bow to see Alistair and Sten entering the camp, both carrying large sack cloth bags behind them.

"Nothing! Umm…. I see you have the dragon scales," Leliana smiled, cursing at how quickly the men had worked.

"Not yet. These are just some of drake scales and some of the useable armor that we stripped from the cultists."

"I still do not see why we need this. We waste time here. We should be fighting the Blight, not gathering bits of animal flesh or spare pieces of armor!" Sten angrily barked as he tossed his bag down at Leliana's feet.

"We need them because they will sell good. Which brings us gold. Gold which we will need to raise and outfit an army. I know a man in Denerim who will pay very good money for any dragon or drake scales we bring him. And I didn't hear you complaining Sten, when Riel bought you that nice dwarven chest plate when we in Denerim from the money we acquired from doing random jobs for the people."

"Meh…." Sten grumbled. It was probably as close to an agreement that Leliana was going to get. "I will be at the river. I wish to clean this filth off me."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea for me too. I was too tired to notice it last night, but Riel was right. Dragon blood stinks something awful! I don't think I will be able to get the stench out of my armor for weeks! Speaking of our fearless leader, had miss sleepyhead awoken yet? It's past noon!"

"I think she is still-"

"Riel! Are you still sleeping?" Alistair shouted into the fabric of her tent, interrupting Leliana's protests. "Come on sleepy! We're losing daylight and we still don't know where we are headed next. Come on, wake up-" Alistair leaned down and opened the flap of her tent and peered inside. Immediately he went silent, then stood and walked away. "I'll be at the river, washing off." He then looked over at an apologetic Leliana and glared. "You tell our fearless leader that whenever she is done  **screwing**  that assassin, we do have a Blight to get to. The Archdemon isn't going to kill itself!"

"Crap…" Leliana groaned as she watched the male Warden angrily stomp off.

"What was that about?" cursed Riel as she came out of her tent. Her eyes were red and puffy, and it looked as if she had been crying, but other than that she actually looked pretty good. The dark circles around her eyes were faded and she looked as if she had gotten a decent rest for once. Except for the whole being pissed off thing, the woman actually looked better than Leliana had ever seen her.

"Riel, are you alright?" Zevran asked as he stood up beside her.

"Yeah, I guess so…" sighed Riel as she looked in the direction that Alistair had stormed off. Alistair had opened the tent flap just as Zevran and Riel were starting to relax again after their little… whatever it was... that happened between them not long ago. Riel looked up at the sun and cursed. "Oh shit! Is it really that late?"

"Relax Riel. You needed the rest. Morrigan and Alistair told me what happened yesterday. So when you weren't already awake when everyone else had gotten up, I thought you could use the extra sleep. And before you complain, I already set up drying racks for the deer I killed yesterday and had the boys go collect some useful things that we could sell at the next town. Morrigan has spent most of the day making potions, and I already cured and rolled up the deer hide. We could use it in camp, or Bodahn says that he could get us a good price for the hide once we reach Orzammar. I figured we could use a day of rest to restock and plan, so you honestly didn't miss anything by staying in your tent."

"Leliana… I… thank you."

"Nope, don't thank me. I was only doing what you would have done," Leliana said with a broad smile. The she took a deep breath and her features turned serious. Taking a step closer to Riel, she leaned and whispered softly to her. "Are you sure that you're alright?"

Zevran took immediate offence to the question, but any anger that he might have felt was not directed at the young bard, but himself. She had every right to ask if her friend was alright, considering how badly he had screwed up earlier. Riel may not have stopped trusting him completely - not that he didn't deserve that, of course - yet Zevran knew that he had lost ground with her.

"I'm alright, Leliana. Truly." Riel smiled and tried her best to put on her 'I'm okay' face. Even though she was still a bit shaken, she still felt better than she had in incredibly long time.

"So I should toss out this poison then? We are not killing him? Well, that is no fun," Morrigan groused as she made a show of lifting up the spoon that she was stirring with and tasting the contents. "It just finished too brewing, too. Such a pity."

"Morrigan, you are evil," Riel laughed.

"Only when it comes to foolish elven would be assassins, or irritating ex Templars, my dear."

"Pardon me, Ser Riel, but I think that this may interest you."

Riel looked over their dwarven merchant and took the package that he held in his outstretched hand. "What is this, Bodahn?"

"Me and my boy were waiting down by the road, in case we saw any travelling merchants come this way. And wouldn't you know it, but an old acquaintance of mine from years back came by on his wagon. I managed to sell him some of our extra dodads and whatnots, and he tells me that he found this here."

Riel unwrapped the cloth to reveal what appeared to be a metal rod of some sort. "Well, what is it?"

"He tells me that he had this here control rod that he picked up some time ago from a woman near Orzammar. He says that it supposed to control an actual golem that is being held near here in the village of Honnleath. Isn't that amazing?"

"An actual golem? And he just sold this rod to you?"

"Well it was a practically a steal, it was! All he wanted for it was for my boy to enchant a blade that he bought for his brother back in Orlais. He even gave us directions to Honnleath, where we can find the golem!"

Riel looked down at the chunk of metal in her hands and had a hard time imagining that such a strange device could control of the massive things that she heard talked about by Bodahn during their travels. Apparently golems were huge stone or metal creatures that the dwarves used to build ages ago, but have since lost the ability the create more. And he told her that all you needed to control such a monster was a special kind of metal rod. Sort of like the one that she now held in her hands.

"Well, I guess if I am out to gain allies in a Blight, I suppose I could do worse than an actual golem. How does it work?"

"Well Felix said that you are just supposed to point it at the golem and say the activation phrase. Then as long as you have the rod, you have your own golem."

"Hard to believe your merchant friend would sell such a prize so cheaply. Why didn't he use the rod himself?" Zevran asked from beside Riel.

"Well…. there is a slight problem."

"And that would be?" Although having a golem would be a great ally in the war, Riel wasn't about to lead her party off on some wild goose chase if there was nothing for them to gain.

"The rod… eh he says it might be broken. At least, that's what the woman who sold the rod to Felix had said."

"Broken? Well then, how is it useful to us?"

"Now, he said it  _might_  be broken. Felix wasn't sure himself. Said that he never had the time to go to Honnleath himself and check it for himself."

"But you think we should go there and see if it works, even though the rod might be broken, or if there is even a golem there to begin with.  _Bodahn…_ " Riel groaned, a familiar headache building behind her eyes.

"If I may so, I think it may be worth the travel. We need to visit a town to restock anyway, and if there is a golem there and this rod works on it, you would have a powerful ally to add to our group," Zevran stated with a zeal of enthusiasm.

"Alright Bodahn," Riel agreed with a sigh. "We'll leave tomorrow. I want everything ready to go before midmorning."

"Yes Ser!" Bodahn happily nodded before heading off back towards his wagon.

"An actual golem huh? I guess stranger things have happened," Riel sighed as she looked down at the rod in her hands.

"Personally, I believe that nothing is too broken to be fixed," Zevran stated with intent towards Riel.

"Or to be given a second chance," Riel added with a small smile, her eyes meeting the intense yet warm look Zevran gave her.


	13. Shale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Parts of this chapter come from the recruitment of Shale from the Dragon Age Origins DLC content "The Stone Prisoner." Credit for those dialogue choices goes to BioWare.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, and I would appreciate any reviews!
> 
>  
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.

The village of Honnleath was almost due south of Redcliff along the edges of the Frostback Mountains. The group had travelled for several days following the mountain range in a western direction, yet with each step closer to the Southern Wilds, Riel felt more anxious.

The swell of the of the Darkspawn horde had come from the Wilds, erupting from underground tunnels until they broke free onto the surface and raged north. Ostagar sat on the edges of the Wilds, between the Ferelden kingdom and the region of the Avvars and the Chasind barbarians. And as each day passed, the horde spread further northward, destroying everything in their path.

And as so many before it, Honnleath was not spared the destruction caused by the Darkspawn despite being so close to the rocky mountains that separated Ferelden and the western country of Orlais. In peaceful times, Honnleath was a small farming village not far from the border between the two countries. However, these were far from peaceful times. By the time Riel and her group arrived to the small hamlet, the smoke and stench of burning flesh permeated the air as small groups of straggling Darkspawn looted and devoured corpses of the unfortunate townspeople.

Before they even entered the village, Riel could feel the foul beasts. The taint that flowed through her blood lighting up as it recognized its kin. The feeling made her stomach churn and her anger rise. Looking over at Alistair, his stern nod told her that he felt the wickedness just as she did. Pulling free her daggers, Riel ordered Sten, Leliana and her hound to guard Bodahn as she and the rest of group set about killing the remaining Darkspawn that roamed the village.

Various bits of human flesh and bones were littered everywhere as blood and bile covered the walls of buildings and ground. The sight of it was like a nightmare made real, and the monsters who created it reveled in the grotesque bounty. Feasting on and violating the dead bodies of old and young, men and women even as Riel's group approached the first of the beasts and set about their own slaughter.

Piece by piece, Riel cut through the Darkspawn enemy, their blood soaking through her leathers and burning her exposed skin. Her blades sliced straight through a Hurlock's arm as it swung a crude ax at her head, before stabbing the creature through its throat. Turning she ducked just as another Hurlock tried to slice at her neck. Riel kicked it back, straight into the swinging arc of Alistair's sword. At her back, Zevran fought just as furiously, dispatching a charging Gemlock before gutting a growling Hurlock that tried to run Riel through.

The battle was hard, but it was eventually won. Riel stood in the center of town, breathing in hard short gasps as she stared at the bodies of at least a dozen Darkspawn that laid dead around them. She lifted her eyes to her allies, taking mental note of their locations and injuries. Alistair seemed to be nursing a sore shoulder while Zevran sported a serious looking gash on his left leg. Morrigan seemed no worse for wear as her magic allowed her to stand back from the carnage and hurl her spells from a distance. What worried Riel however was the Darkspawn blood covering Zevran's face and skin. Blood that carried a death sentence if the person wasn't careful.

Fear heightening her senses, Riel quickly scanned the area and spotted an old well by a nearly destroyed windmill. Sheathing her daggers, Riel grabbed Zevran by his wrist and all but dragged him over to the well.

"Riel? What is the matter?" Zevran tried to ask, yet Riel was silent even as she leaned over the edge of the well. Seemingly satisfied, she took hold of the metal crank and started pulling up a bucket filled with the cool water. Once she could reach it, she wedged the crank and took out a cloth from her side pack. Then Riel soaked the rag in the water and turned to the still shocked and confused elf beside her.

"What are you doing,  _mi bella_?"

"Darkspawn blood is poisonous. If too much gets in your system, it could kill you," Riel stated flatly, a deep frown on her face. With careful yet deliberate swipes, Riel cleaned up his face, then started to rub down his exposed arms.

"What about you?" Zevran exclaimed in worry, grabbing at her hand. "You are covered just as I, you should be washing it off yourself first!"

"Wardens are immune to it. We basically have to be drinking their filth for it effect us," added Alistair, his arms crossed over his breastplate. He stood several feet away, his obvious displeasure showing on his face as he glared venomously at Zevran.

Riel rinsed out the rag and started to lean over to clean Zevran's legs when he quickly took hold of her wrist and pulled Zevran up. " _Mi bella_ , stop. You do not need to do this, I can wash it off myself." Riel stared into his eyes, a look of worry and anger mixing her expression before all emotion seemed to snap shut on her. Her face turning impassive, she handed the cloth roughly to Zevran.

"You're right." Her voice was flat and stoic, yet Zevran knew that he had somehow hurt her. "Morrigan, he has a gash on his leg. Would you please heal him?" Riel said, looking over to the mage. She then coldly walked away towards the rotting pile of Darkspawn. Kneeling down she started going sifting through their diseased bodies, looking for potions or anything useful they may carry.

Alistair turned and walked after her, saying nothing yet Zevran caught the look of smugness on the Templar's face as he walked away. Zevran started to head after them but Morrigan stepped in his path, blocking him.

"Did I say something?" Zevran asked the witch.

"'Tis no business of mine, assassin. Now stay still while I heal your leg, else Riel be angry at  _both_  of us."

"I just said to her that she needn't have to wash me off, yet this angers her?"

"Because of course, Riel always personally washes blood and other various vile things from her companions after a battle," Morrigan quipped back dryly as she stood back up. "Actually, no she doesn't, does she? Perhaps maybe she had reason to. Yet 'tis not my answer to give, is it?" Morrigan's voice was laced with barely contained irritation, and her eyes told Zevran that there was obviously more to this than he was seeing.

With his leg now healed, Zevran briskly walked over to where Alistair and Riel were going through bodies. Still feeling confused, but wanting to help, he bent down to add his own hands to the search. However Riel barked at him to stop. "Leave this to Alistair and I, Zevran. This is a Warden's job. Go back to the well and  _take care of yourself_." The last bit was uttered in contempt even though Riel refused to look up at him. Zevran cast a look over to Alistair and felt his anger raise as he again saw the smug look of satisfaction on the fool's face.

"I'm sure there are some locks you can pick somewhere,  _Zevran_. You can leave the dirty work to Riel and I. Don't worry,  **I'll**  look after her."

Zevran's fingers twitched for his blades, his anger rising. "Sounds like a fair exchange, my Templar friend. I'll watch our dear Riel in battle and keep her alive, and you can keep her safe from the already dead corpses that we have killed," he replied back, ice bristling the edges of his words despite the friendly tone.

"Would both of you just shut up? There isn't much here, anyway!" spat out Riel. Quickly she stood and went over to Morrigan who was casually waiting several feet away. "Here, I found three decent sized lyrium potions and a healing potion. Take them and put them in your pack."

"Thank you kindly, my friend," Morrigan replied with a smile and slight bow of her head. "Are we to look for this rumored golem, then?"

"I think it's over here, actually."

Riel looked over to Alistair and watched as he heaved a large section of a wood from a statue in the middle of small seating area not too far from the bodies of Darkspawn. The statue underneath was that a stone creature, it's arms raised high as if it were raging against the sky above it. Interspaced between the rock and stone looked like lines of pure lyrium, reminding Riel of veins on a body.

"It's magnificent!" Zevran awed as he looked up the statue.

"What did Bodahn say the phrase was? Dulm something?" Alistair asked.

Riel rolled her eyes and took out the control rod from her side pack. "Dulef gar," corrected Riel, joining Alistair in front of the statue.

"That's weird. Shouldn't it have moved?" Alistair cleared his throat and said in a loud voice "Dulef gar!". Yet still the statue didn't move.

"Riel, I think you may want to see this."

Riel looked behind her to see Morrigan standing over near one of the partially destroyed buildings. "What is it Morrigan?" Leaving the frustration of the golem behind for the moment, she hurried over to where her mage friend was standing. Morrigan's arms were crossed over her chest and her brow was furrowed as she gazed down at something on the ground. Following her eyes, Riel at first thought she was looking at just another tangle of flesh and bone from one of the many dismembered corpses that littered the village ground. Until she saw it move, that is.

"By the Dread Wolf, he's alive!" Riel exclaimed as she dropped down to the body before her. "Quickly Morrigan! Do your magic!"

"There is nothing I can do. He's beyond any magic, I'm afraid. It's a miracle he is still breathing as it is."

"H-...he-...lp" the man tried to whispered through cracked lips. Looking down at him, one of the poor man's arms was missing, as well as both his legs. It looked as if his flesh wasn't just sliced away, but actually gnawed on, causing bile to rise in Riel's throat.

"Shh… don't try to talk…" whispered Riel, trying to comfort the man. "Can't you do anything, Morrigan?" she pleaded without looking at the mage.

"The only thing that can help this man is a dagger to the heart, my dear."

Tears welled in Riel's eyes as she brushed a portion of bloodied hair away from the man's face. His green eyes stared up at her, wide in both pain and fright. Even though he was badly injured, the man still tried to move, forcing Riel to put her hands on him to keep him still.

"Don't try to move…."

"W-win...wind-...mi-..." the man's hoarse voice cried.

"What is that? I don't understand…" Riel leaned down to man's lips, trying to hear him better.

"Oth-...ers… wind-...mill…"

"Others? In the windmill?" Riel asked softly, watching as the man's face looked upon her first with relief, then sadness.

"He-..lp...them…" the man uttered one last time before all life left his eyes and his body moved no more.

"I commend this man's poor soul to the Maker. May he find peace at His side."

Riel looked up to see Alistair standing above her, his face solemn as he pronounced the man's last rights. Riel felt tears at her eyes, yet she refused to shed them even as her body started to shake. Suddenly she felt a hand on her back and she turned her head to see Zevran kneeling beside her. Staring into his honey colored eyes, Riel felt herself calm slightly. Sniffing back the tears, she stood and looked on her companions.

"Come on. He said there might be others who need help. And I'll be damned if I left anymore villagers die to these creatures!"

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Riel was not a cat person. Even when a little girl in their clan owned one, she disliked the things. Sure, they could be cute at times. But Riel always preferred dogs to the lazy and capricious creatures known as felines. And after their last encounter, she liked cats even less.

Turns out the old and mostly destroyed windmill did have survivors inside, protected behind a magical barrier that kept Darkspawn away. The few remaining villagers were thankful for being rescued, yet refused to help Riel with the golem outside until Riel had promised to find one man's daughter that had gone deeper into the windmill. Reluctantly Riel agreed. The father had feared the traps the old mage who used to live in the village had set up to prevent others from getting his work. Yet it wasn't the decades old traps that threatened the young girl when Riel found her.

It was a demon. In the body of a cat. And not a very nice cat, either. Turned out the demon wanted Riel to turn off a magical barrier that was keeping the demon trapped in the cellar of the windmill. And if Riel refused, the desire demon would kill the poor girl next to it. It was the tip of Riel's tongue to go tell the demon to bite pile a cow shit when from beside her, Zevran spoke up.

"If we free you, what becomes of the girl?"

"Then I leave with her," the demon replied calmly.

"No way!" exclaimed Riel, unsheathing her blades. Yet Zevran placed a hand gently on her arm, stopping her.

"Very well, demon. As long as the girl is not harmed, we will free you."

"What do you think you're doing?!" Riel yelled at Zevran, pushing him away from her.

"Trust me,  _mi bella_ …." Zevran winked at her, displaying confidence despite the insanity of his words. "Just stay close to the girl."

The puzzle unlocking magical barrier was difficult, but soon enough Riel felt the magical energy in the room discharge. The demon possessed cat pured and stretched it's legs before looking at Riel.

"Wonderful! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be taking my prize!"

"Didn't anyone ever tell you to never make deals with assassins?" Zevran laughed before shouting to Riel. "Quickly! Grab the girl!" before throwing a smile knife at the creature.

"Traitors!" the demon hissed. A large dark cloud erupted around the cat, forming into the shape of a desire demon.

Quickly Riel reached forward and took hold of the girl's hand, pulling her hard against Riel. "Hurry! Run back to your father!" Riel yelled at the girl, nearly shoving her towards the door. Thankfully the girl didn't need to be told twice as she bolted screaming up the stairs and out of the cellar.

Shades and skeletons came out of the shadows, immediately attacking the group. Riel slashed out with her daggers, yet the pointed blades didn't do much against the already dead skeletons. However, Morrigan was quick with her spells and quickly went about casting fire and frost spells, heating the already brittle bones before encasing them in ice.

"Shatter them Riel!" Morrigan cried out. Following her friend's lead, Riel punched out with her dagger at one of the frozen undead, and to her surprise the thing shattered under the pressure. The bones and ice breaking into small pieces at her feet. Smiling Riel found her next target and did the same.

"Alistair, protect the stairs! Morrigan, stay up there and keep casting!" Riel shouted before launching herself at the desire demon that was currently fighting with Zevran. The demon lashed out one of its clawed hands at Zevran's face, leaving behind three deep cuts in his flesh. Yet still the elf fought, taking the pain in stride.

Riel took advantage of the demon's distraction and dug one of her daggers into the demon's back, right between its shoulders. With adrenaline fueled strength, Riel then pulled the blade downwards, slicing a deep wound all the way down the creature's back. The demon wailed in pain before turned to attack Riel. Riel struck again with her other dagger, this time digging the blade deep into its heart. A final wail burst forth before the demon collapsed to the ground, then vanished into smoke.

The remaining shades and skeletons in the room also vanished, their power tied to the demon that summoned them. Panting, Riel locked her eyes on Zevran across from her. Her hand rising on its own, she stopped when her fingers were nearly touching the ripped flesh on his face.

_I can wash myself_

Riel's face hardened, wiping away the look of concern and fear on her features and replacing with a cold look of anger mixed with irritation.  _He doesn't want my help_  she thought to herself.

"Do not worry,  _mi bella_ , I'm fine," Zevran stated, seeing her expression change.

"Of course you are," Riel replied, her voice emotionless. Turning on her heel, she marched over to where Morrigan was and quickly walked by her. "Heal him," she muttered without looking at the witch.

The father of the girl waited back where Riel had first found him, hugging his daughter to himself. Riel placed a fake smile on her face and greeting the pair, both of them offering her their thanks. The father of the girl then explained that the golem outside actually belonged to his father, the mage who once owned the windmill. A hero from the war between Ferelden and Orlais, the mage had used the golem as a great advantage against the armies of Orlais before finally coming back to Honnleath with it. However, somehow the golem broke free from the mage's control and killed his owner. With its owner now dead, the golem froze into the position it was in now. Distraught over her husband's death, the wife of the mage sold the control rod, hoping to never see it again.

The father of the young girl told Riel that his mother most likely told the merchant that wrong activation phrase as to prevent the golem from ever awaking again. However, as long as Riel promised to take the creature with her when she left, he would tell Riel the proper phrase. Immediately Riel agreed, and was told the proper words to wake the stone creature. Then after smiling through another round of thanks, Riel and her companions made their way back outside and to the where the golem still stood.

Standing in front of the golem with control rod in hand, Riel tried desperately to control her emotions and focus on the task at hand. Yet Zevran's words kept going through her mind, stealing her focus away. She wasn't even entirely sure why she even felt angry at his words to begin with. However his words haunted her mind, acting like tiny daggers, cutting away at her calm exterior.

"Are you going to use the phrase, Riel?" Alistair asked from behind her, startling from her thoughts. "You okay?"

Embarrassment reddened her cheeks at being caught off guard. "I'm fine Alistair," Riel snapped back at him.. Looking back at the golem, she cleared her voice and uttered the phrase the man told her. There was a rumbling emanating from the golem before the creature suddenly came to life. Years of dirt and debris crumbled and fell from its body as it shook out its arms and stretched as if it were just a normal person coming awake from a night of rest.

Then the thing's glowing eyes fell upon Riel, bringing a lick of fear to the base of Riel's spine. From behind her, Zevran casually stepped closer to his Warden, readying himself in case he needed to act quickly to defend her.

"I knew the day would finally come when  _someone_  would find the control rod," the golem stated with a sigh. "And it's a mage, too."

"The mage you are looking for is right here, golem. Perhaps you need your eyes are in need of repairing."

Riel looked behind to Morrigan, seeing her offer a knowing smile before hiding her emotions yet again.  _Did Morrigan know?_

"Right," the golem said with a huff before continuing. "Well then, are all the villagers dead?"

"No, some escaped," replied Riel, bringing her attention back to the large grey golem.

"Pity. I stood here watching these fleshy villagers scurry about me for, oh I don't know how long. Many, many years."

"And the people didn't know? Creepy," Alistair shuddered.

"I was finally starting to get used to the quiet too. Not that I'd have wanted a band of Darkspawn to come running in and start slaughtering everyone, but at least it was delightful change of pace compared to how my days normally went."

"Forget creepy. That's outright disturbing."

"Oh I don't know Alistair. If I were to be forced to spend decades watching you everyday, I think I would rather welcome the Darkspawn as well," laughed Morrigan morbidly.

"Well go on, out with it. What is its command?" the golem stated flatly.

"I'm not an 'it' you know." Riel felt her irritation to grow at the golem's way of speech. She had spent a good portion of her life as an 'it' - an object to be used and forgotten when no longer wanted. And she wasn't impressed in being called such again.

"It's not? Well whatever  _it_  is,  **it**  certainly thinks rather highly of itself."

"You know, this reminds of a time back in Antiva. I was sent to kill this barrel of a man who had cheated his fellows out of a rather large amount of money. He had this habit of singing whenever he took his evening bath, however his voice was better suited to that of a braying donkey than a man. So you can imagine how well he sung."

"What does this have to do with anything, assassin?" Morrigan spat out, her voice clearly showing her annoyance.

"My dear Morrigan, you cannot rush a story! That takes away the fun of it!" he replied with a wink.

"Can we please get back to the matter at hand? As in the golem that is standing in front of us?"

"Yes, I agree with the whining knight."

"Hey! I don't whine!" Alistair replied back to the golem, whining.

The golem sighed heavily again before looking at Riel. "It does have the control rod, doesn't it? I am awake, so it must."

"I have it right here," answered Riel, showing the rod to the creature.

"I see the control rod, yet I feel…. Go on, order me to do something!"

"Fine," Riel snapped. "Attack Alistair."

"Hey! Riel!"

"I feel… nothing. Nothing! I feel no compulsion to carry out its command!" the golem exclaimed in amazement. "I suppose this means that the rod is…. broken?"

"So does this mean you go on a killing rampage now?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" the golem stated to Alistair. "Although I suppose I could go and kill all those vile birds…. Those evil birds and their foul droppings… I could crush them all!"

"I think you may have a problem with birds, my friend," replied Zevran.

"I suppose if I can't be commanded, does that mean I am free? That I have free will, yes? Except, what should I do?" the golem focused again and Riel in front of it. "It has no control rod dictating its actions. What does  **it**  do?"

"I am fighting against the Blight. I am a Grey Warden, and so is Alistair here."

"The Blight? That has to do with those Darkspawn creatures, doesn't it? Interesting."

"Our fair lady Warden here is an excellent fighter, and she intends to gather a whole army of Fereldens to fight against the Darkspawn and end this Blight. Those of us who are not Wardens have chosen to help her, fighting along side of her."

Riel looked over at Zevran and slightly smiled before looking back at the golem.

"I suppose I have two options then, don't I? Go with it, or go elsewhere? I have no idea what even lies beyond this village. I have been trapped here no long, my memories of anything outside are gone."

"What do you want to do, then?" asked Riel.

"I honestly do not know. I have to admit the question perplexes me."

"If I may say, we came here looking for a golem to help against the Blight. And here stands such a creature. I say we let him join us,  _no_?"

"Are you sure? He does seem rather dangerous…."

"If you are frightened Alistair, I could buy you a stuffed toy at the next town we come to," Zevran replied with a mischievous wink.

"I will follow it about then. For now. I am called Shale, by the way."

"Fine then.  _ **My**_   _ **name**_  is Riel. If you're coming, let's get going then. It's starting to get late and the others are probably wondering where we are."


	14. Finding the Missing Piece

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, and I would appreciate any reviews!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mi diosa bella: Antivan. "My beautiful goddess."
> 
> Eres una diosa, yo no la merezco: Antivan. "You're a goddess, I don't deserve you."
> 
> Asombroso: Antivan. "Amazing."

Back at the camp, Riel groaned as she brushed out her hair then re-tied the messy bun behind her head. Unlike the places they normally stopped by, there was no river or lake nearby for her to wash in. The only water they had came from the well back in the village, and Riel didn't feel like leaving her tent to go fetch some. So she would have to deal with the blood and grime on her skin until it dried and flaked off her own.

_Oh well_  she thought bitterly.  _It wouldn't be the first time I fell asleep with blood covering me_.

A sound outside of her tent caught her attention, and Riel paused, focusing her hearing. Yet after several minutes of no one knocking on her tent or calling out to her, Riel released her dagger and picked up her leather armor and her small repair kit. In one of the fights, a Darkspawn slashed at her midsection, tearing the leather of her armor slightly. It needed to be repaired before fighting again or else the next attack would end very badly for her. Afterall, armor was only as good as it was maintained.

About an hour passed with Riel haunched over her armor, when there was another noise outside of her tent. "Riel? Are you awake?" Leliana's light voice called to her.

"Come in, Lei."

Leliana pulled back the tent flap and ducked inside. Sitting herself opposite of Riel, she was careful to make sure that nothing of hers touched her fellow rogue and friend. Once seated, Leliana reached through the tent flap, then pulled in a rather large bowl filled almost to the brim with water.

"What's the water for?" Riel asked curiously.

"For you," Leliana stated simply. Riel eyed her friend before shrugging.

"Thanks, I guess I did kind of dirty back there." Riel grabbed a cloth from her pack then wetted it down before going to work at wiping down her arms and hands.

"I didn't get it actually…." Leliana corrected, her voice tentative. "Zevran did."

"Oh," Riel's eyes lifted to Leliana's for moment before she went back to cleaning herself.

"Did something happen back in the village? I mean, besides the whole Darkspawn, demon, golem things?"

Riel stayed quiet for a few minutes, deciding whether or not to speak of her feelings with the redhead. However, she wasn't exactly sure what her feelings were, let alone try to talk about them.

"Why?" Riel asked without looking up.

"Riel, talk to me. Something is going on. You've been in here for a while and haven't spoken to anyone. Not to mention how badly Zevran looks right now."

That got Riel's attention. "Something happened to Zevran?" she asked, barely hiding the worry in her voice.

"He's out there sitting by the fire, not speaking to anyone. Even when Alistair teased him, he refused to say anything. After you entered your tent once you all returned from the village, he left again, saying he forgot something back in Honnleath. When he came back, he was carrying a large bucket of water. He asked me for one of my mixing bowls, then poured some of the water into the bowl before placing it outside of your tent. Then he sat down by the fire and hasn't said anything since."

"Well…." Riel started, unsure of what to say. "Tell him… Tell him I said thank you for the water then, will you?" Riel finally stated while she rinsed out the rag and went back to wiping off the blood on herself.

"Riel… Something happened."

"He didn't want me to help him," Riel suddenly said, keeping her eyes on her work.

"I don't understand. Help him do what?"

"After our first fight with the Darkspawn. He had their blood on him. And I didn't want him to get sick from it. So I tried to wash it off him." Riel's words were flat, as if she was trying hard to keep the emotion out of them. Yet the perceptive bard beside her didn't miss the small current of hurt that ran in Riel's voice.

"And he didn't want you to?" Riel shook her head no. "And that upset you?"

Riel lifted her eyes to Leliana, hurt and confusion shining from the silver depths. "No! Yes! I mean, no! I mean - by the Void, I don't know!" Riel huffed, tossing the rag down and cupping her face in her hands.

 _What is wrong with me?_  Riel thought over and over.

"I don't know how to do it, Lei." Riel's voice was soft and partially mumbled behind her hands. "I don't know how to act… I tried, and it didn't work. He doesn't want my help…. He doesn't want  _me…_."

"Hey now, sweetie…" Leliana fought back the urge to reach out and comfort her friend. It was hard though, watching Riel shudder behind her hands as if she were crying.

"The stupid thing is, I'm not even angry at him. I'm angry that I don't know how to  _not_  to be angry."

"I think I know what is going on."

"You do? That's great. Maybe you could tell me then. Because I have no clue," Riel sniffed, lifting up her eyes and revealing the tears that ran down her face.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"Are you going to sit there all night like that?"

Zevran ignored the witch and kept his eyes trained on the fire before him. He didn't care what she or Alistair said or how they teased him since he sat down. None of it mattered while he wracked his brain as to way make Riel forgive him. He wasn't exactly sure what he did, yet it was obvious that he had somehow upset his Warden. While she seemed grateful for his distractions during the conversation with Shale back in the village, she still refused to speak to him even when they returned back to camp.

A little while ago, he saw Leliana go into Riel's tent and Zevran prayed the bard would be able to get an answer from her friend. Because that was one thing that women did, did they not? When they were upset or angry, they spoke to their female friends and lamented whatever foolish thing that their men did. Not that Riel thought Zevran was hers, even though Zevran certainly wished she did. Perhaps after the bard left, he would be able to speak to her and be able to pull some clue out of her as to what he did to upset his Warden.

"This is what you fleshy meat creatures do? You wait around fire while the Darkspawn roam the land?"

"We're making camp for the evening, Shale. Redcliff is still a few days travel north from here, and it's more dangerous travelling at night. So we make camp at night and travel during the day," Alistair answered.

"Yet unless I am mistaken, the sun still shines in the sky above."

"It's late. We wouldn't get very far before we'd have to stop and make camp again. Besides, I'm tired from the fighting from earlier."

"Hmph. Flesh creatures," Shale said with disdain. " _ **I**_ don't get tired. I don't need sleep either. Or food. Or whatever else you disgusting things things do. This is much preferable."

Zevran caught movement from the corner of his eye and turned his head to see Leliana step out of Riel's tent. Immediately his muscles tensed, his mind racing with questions to ask the bard. Yet he remained seated, unsure of how to broach the subject with her.

"Zevran, I need water for cooking tonight. Would you help me get some from the village?" she asked him casually. Yet even though her voice was calm, there was something in the young woman's eyes that caught his attention.

"Uh, of course Leliana. It would be my pleasure," Zevran stated, getting up to his feet. Quietly he followed behind her down the old road towards the village, neither of them saying anything to the other. It was only when they got to the well that Leliana broke the silence between them.

"How much do you know about Riel, Zevran?" The question was sudden and blunt, yet asked just as casually as when had Leliana had asked Zevran to come with her.

"I know some things…" Zevran answered carefully, unsure of how much Leliana herself knew. He wasn't about to out his Warden's secrets to anyone, even a woman who seemed to be friends with his Riel.

"She had a very hard life before the Dalish found her," Leliana said sadly as she lowered the bucket down the well. "Riel doesn't like talking about it, but one night after leaving Lothering, I asked her why she doesn't smile very much."

"And what did she say?"

"That she didn't know how to." They were quiet again for a few moments, each lost in their own thoughts. "Imagine living a life where you didn't know how to smile? To laugh, even? How would you know how express your feelings?"

"That would be difficult," Zevran conceded, his mind working on the meaning of her words.

"Yet she is always quick to help people who need her. Even if strangers. If she sees a problem that needs fixing, it's as if it is her way of showing that she cares. For example, if I needed help making arrows, I wouldn't even have to ask. She would sit with me and help me make them. It is as if that is her way of showing me that she cares for me as her friend."

"I have seen her several times sitting by the fire with you, setting the shaft and attaching heads to the ends," Zevran stated, pulling up the water from the well.

"Riel is very good at that," Leliana said with a soft smile. "Although I would hate to think how she would feel if I told her that I didn't need help with my arrows, even when I clearly did. She would think I didn't want her help." Leliana met Zevran's gaze for the first time since they left the camp. "Or to her, that I didn't need want her caring about me. Or perhaps even her friendship."

A knot tied itself in Zevran's stomach as he caught Leliana's meaning. "Would she think that?"

Leliana shrugged and returned her gaze to the area around them. "Perhaps. And if I were her, perhaps I wouldn't know how to express my feelings about it, either." Leliana grunted as she tried to lift the heavy bucket full of water. "Maker this is heavy! Good thing I know how to ask for help when I need it, huh Zevran?" Leliana said with a wink.

"Leliana, it would be my pleasure to carry this bucket back to camp for you," Zevran replied with a short bow.

"Good! I'm glad I brought you along."

"Me too," Zevran grinned. "I am very glad, my friend."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

" _Mi bella_ , are you busy?"

Riel looked up from the dagger she was cleaning and stared at the tent flap. After Leliana had left, Riel had spent several minutes crying silently before she finally got tired of feeling sorry for herself. Going back to her armor, she repaired the hole in it, then set about to cleaning and sharpening her daggers. Her emotions were all over the place, and she wasn't sure she could handle another visit from someone, especially if that someone was the one causing her all the turmoil in her head.

"I'm busy, Zevran."

"Of that I have no doubt," Zevran replied quickly. However this time his voice came from a lower direction, as if he were know kneeling or sitting outside of her camp instead of standing. "I will only take but a moment of your time, I swear to it,  _mi bella_."

Riel sighed, finding herself unable to resist his soft voice. "Come in."

"Excellent," Zevran said as he lifted the tent flap and stepping inside.

"What do you need, Zevran?" Riel asked without lifting her eyes from the blade on her lap.

"It is good you are working blades, as I find I am needing help with my own."

Riel lifted her eyes and stared at the other elf. "I find it hard to believe an assassin would need my help with his blades, Zevran," she stated dryly before lowering her eyes again.

"Well it seems that I have misplaced my repair kit, and the handle on of my blades is a bit loose. As seeing as you are the only one with similar weapons to myself, I knew that I had to come to you."

"The kit is in my bag, I just finished with it."

Taking a risk, Zevran reached across the space between them and placed his hand upon Riel's, stopping her motions. " _Mi bella_ , I  _need you_."

Riel looked up and found Zevran staring at her with such an intense look in his eyes. Emotions she recognized but couldn't name filled her as Zevran held her hand. Emotions she also saw mirrored back at her through Zevran's honey eyes.

"I wish to apologize for earlier,  _mi bella_."

"F-for what?"

"For upsetting you with my careless words. I had misunderstood your intent by the well, and I wanted you to know that there is no one else I would rather have offering what you did."

Riel shrugged her shoulders as she went back to cleaning her blade. "Anyone can wipe up Darkspawn blood, Zevran. I was just the one there. I am sure I am not the first to offer to clean you up after a fight." The last sentence was said more bitterly than the rest. "I'm not very good at it, either."

" _Mi bella_ , look at me." Riel slowly raised her eyes to meet his. "This isn't just about wiping up Darkspawn blood. Tell me what's on your mind."

Riel felt tears again prick at the corners of her eyes, yet she refused to cry anymore. Especially in front of him. Instead she just shrugged her shoulders again, unsure of what to say. "I am not like you, Zevran. I'm not very good with words."

"Very well. I shall tell you what's on my mind then," he replied with a small chuckle. "I was just thinking how beautiful you are."

Riel felt her heart skip in her chest before launching into a furious race.

"Although…" Zevran paused, looking around the tent before spotting the bowl of water and rag that Riel had used earlier. Smiling, he took the rag and rinsed it out before bringing it over to Riel's face. Carefully he wiped at a smudge of dried blood on her cheek until it disappeared. "Much better."

"Kiss me."

Zevran's eyes shot up to her own, shock filling him. He blinked a few times, his mouth agape at what he thought he had heard. Surely this was just his mind playing tricks on him, right? She couldn't have said what she did, not out of the blue like that. Could she?

"Pardon me,  _mi bella_?" Zevran replied, stunned. "I don't think I heard-"

"Zevran, I am so messed up when it comes to a lot of things, I know this," Riel interrupted, exasperated. "I've been hurt in the past really bad, and it's made me afraid of so much. Afraid of being touched, afraid of being close to others. Afraid of what… people do…. when they…."

"I am not expecting anything from you,  _mi bella_. Remember that."

"What if I am expecting something of myself, though? What if I want something, but I am afraid of it at the same time?"

"Then if you would permit me, I would help you to no longer be afraid."

"I don't want to afraid anymore, Zevran," Riel said as tears gathered in her eyes.

Placing his hand gently on her face, Zevran knew what was being asked of him. He knew that this was no simple kiss that she asked of him. In her own way, she was asking him to return a piece of her that had been cruelly ripped from her when she was young. To restore a piece of that innocence that she longed for.

Smiling softly at her begging look, he pulled Riel into his lap and turned her head so she was again looking at him. With a look of confusion and even disappointment, Riel was about to ask him why. However, Zevran cut off her question as he held her face softly in his hand again.

" _Mi diosa bella_ , if there is one thing to know, is that anything worth doing, it is worth doing right. And with you, everything is worth doing," Zevran purred before leaning in slowly to place a soft chaste kiss on Riel's lips. He felt as if his heart exploded in his chest when his lips met hers. Even such a small touch set him on fire, and Zevran immediately sent a dire warning to his crotch to behave lest he cut the troublesome thing off.

Zevran didn't want to push her, or cause her to retreat from his arms, so he didn't move quickly or even use that much pressure. And when he pulled his head back after a few glorious moments, he chuckled to himself as he saw Riel's still closed eyes and parted lips. The temptation to kiss her again, to pull her deeply against him as he ravaged her mouth... It screamed at him to fulfill his desire and to ease the aching within him.

Yet even with Zevran's head spinning from how good that one small kiss made him feel, he knew that caution and time was what was needed for his goddess. And so he was not prepared for Riel to grab his face and pull him once more down to her waiting lips. However, Zevran's surprise only lasted a brief moment before he was lost in the feelings this hard and fierce Grey Warden was eliciting within him. His hands snaked around Riel, one holding her close while the other tangled itself in her hair.

It seemed as if an eternity passed yet at the same time ended all too soon as the two young elves slowly parted. Both of them breathing heavily, they stared into each other's eyes, unsure or unable to say anything.

Never before had Zevran felt the way that he did at that moment. There were enough women and men in his past that Zevran was well acquainted in the art of kissing, yet none of them had ever touched him so deeply. It was if when he helped return a piece of Riel's broken spirit, she had done the same to him. A piece that he didn't even know he was missing until that very moment.

Riel's breathing came in short heavy bursts as she found herself just as speechless. She remembered the hard, forceful kisses her masters laid unto her, their seeking tongues pushing past her reluctant lips. The taste of alcohol and bitter cigars flooding her, causing her to gag every time. They often laughed at her as she tried futilely to push them away. To remove their wandering hands from her body as they tore at what little clothes she had. Then the pain as they forced themselves into her repeatedly, even years before most girls would even start thinking of others in a sexual way.

Riel forced those images away from her mind as she felt Zevran's arms encircle her. Unlike her old masters, he wasn't demanding with his touch. Even when Zevran kissed her, he was careful not to push her too fast or give more than she could handle. Yet Riel could feel that Zevran wanted more. More of a kiss, more of her skin to touch, more of her. She also knew that he resisted though, as he stared lovingly into her eyes.

" _Eres una diosa, yo no la merezco_ ," Zevran whispered softly as he stared completely lost in Riel's eyes.

"I don't understand, Zevran."

"Pardon me, my sweet. I sometimes forget that I am not in Antiva. I just cannot believe that you are real.

Riel laughed softly at that. The sound filled Zevran's ears, making his chest swell as he thought about how lovely and musical the sound was to him.

"Well, I assure you, I am very real. Unfortunately, so is this Blight. So as much as I would love to stay here with you like this, I think our companions may be wondering what is going on."

Zevran again sighed heavily as Riel reminded him of her quest. With her, everything seemed so far away - as if it truly was just the two of them lost in the wild somewhere alone, in a tent. Something that Zevran found himself wishing for more and more.

"You are right, as usual,  _mi bella_."

"You say that a lot,  _mi bella_. What does it mean?"

"It means, 'my beauty', in my home language. You are, after all, more beautiful than any other in my eyes."

Again, Riel laughed at his comment. She knew what she was, and that was far from beautiful. Between the scars on her back and the one on her face, she thought of herself as the exact opposite of beautiful in fact. As she thought about what he said and the thoughts that came from it, Riel raised her hand subconsciously to the scar that stretched along her face.

Zevran watched Riel's eyes grow faint as she touched the scar on her face. Without being told, he knew what she thought, and again he felt anger at what she had to endure in short life.

"No,  _mi bella_. Do not think such thoughts. Your scars are a part of you, and as much as I wish I could erase your past and replace it with one of joy and laughter, they show just how strong of a woman you are. You are beautiful, my sweet. And I will show you that one day."

Riel smiled up at him before placing a soft kiss on his lips. Instantly, she felt his hands wrap tighter around her, yet she wasn't afraid. Not of him. Not of his touch. The thought surprised her, yet as she tried to explain to him before, things between the two of them just somehow seemed  _right_.

Zevran couldn't help the groan that came when her lips touched his. The feel of her lips, the sweet taste that teased him, the way her scent made his head dizzy with desire, the way she felt against him in that moment... It was almost more than he could bear.

" _Mi bella_. Perhaps we should make our way out to our companions before I decide to keep you in here with me for the rest of the day so I may have the pleasure of simply holding you and looking into your  _asombroso_  eyes."

"What if I wanted that too?"

"I would say that you have still not eaten this evening. Perhaps after I have made sure that you are well nourished, we can come back inside here and I can hold you until you fall asleep. Would that please you,  _mi bella_?"

"I would love that."

"So would I."


	15. Big Trouble in Little Redcliff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, and I would appreciate any reviews!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Messerre: King's Tongue. A title of respect similar to "mistress" or "lord".

It took three days to get to Redcliff, mostly due to having to avoid Darkspawn or at times even fighting against them. And at the end of every night, Zevran went into Riel's tent where he would hold her until they both fell asleep. Often they would talk before drifting off, speaking of small things like what they saw or did that day. Riel would speak of her plans for the next day, including which route to take, or her worries about reaching Redcliff. And when Riel's nightmares came, Zevran would hold her and softly speak in Antivan to her, allowing her to calm and be able to rest again.

Even as they sat by the campfire, their positions had changed. Often Zevran opted to sit directly behind Riel, allowing her to rest against his chest as she ate or talked with others. And Creators, did she ever eat. Even when they stopped for a midday meal, Zevran made sure Riel would eat at least some of whatever was cooked or offered. Before, Riel would sometimes only eat once a day, or even go a whole day without eating. Now Zevran would insist that she ate until she was full, even waiting sometimes until she was finished before being satisfied enough to eat himself.

It was equal parts endearing and irritating.

Especially when Riel found that her armor was beginning to fit a little less well than it did before. However, if Riel tried to refuse the food or try to eat less in any way, Zevran would show his stubborn side to her. Something he often did when he tried to take care of her and she resisted for one reason or another. And this was no more true than when it came to any injury she may have gotten while travelling or fighting.

As soon as the fight was over and everything except Riel and her companions were dead, Zevran would come up to her and start checking her for injuries. Even Morrigan's teasing hadn't deterred his obsession with Riel's continued health. Leliana would giggle, calling his behavior 'cute', while Alistair seemed to get grumpier by the day. Sten and Shale would both grouse and grumble over Zevran's increased care, yet neither of them made as much fuss over it as Alistair did.

On the morning of the fourth day, the group finally reached the bridge that led into Redcliff village. The village existed on the southern most tip of Lake Calenhad, and acted as a major trading port between the Circle Tower, and Orzammar which were both farther north. It was also on the King's Highway, which led from Redcliff all the way to Denerim in the north, to Ostagar in the south, and the sea port of Gwaren in the east. So trade was normally bustling on clear days like the one that day, yet the village seemed oddly quiet as the group approached the bridge.

"Listen uh… There is something that I need to tell you…" Alistair stated, a soft blush coming to his face. It was the first time since Honnleath that Alistair had actually said anything to Riel, and she was honestly beginning to enjoy his silence.

"What is it, Alistair?"

"You know how I said that I was raised by Arl Eamon before I was sent to the Chantry? Well, as I said, Eamon isn't my father. He is actually my uncle."

Riel stared at him, trying to understand what he was saying. "So your actual father is…?"

"King Maric."

"What?" Riel exclaimed incredulously. "Wait, the previous king was your  _father_?"

"I never actually knew Maric. My mother was a scullery maid in the castle, and it was made  **very**  clear to me from early on that Cailen was the  _true_  heir. Eamon raised me until I was sent to Chantry."

"So you're actually a prince?"

"Ha ha ha… Surprise!" Alistair joked half heartedly. "Seriously though, I never mentioned it because it I didn't think that it mattered. Cailen was the heir, not me. And I honestly didn't want you to treat me differently because of it. When people find out that I am Maric's son, they either treat me with kid gloves, or they hate me. Even when I was in the Chantry. The other initiates either thought I was 'putting on airs', or avoided me because they didn't want to get on the King's bad side."

"So you're not just a bastard, but you're a  _royal_  bastard then," Riel quipped with a sly smile.

"Ha! Yes, I suppose I am. I am sorry that I didn't tell you earlier, though."

"Hey, it was your business, Alistair, not mine," Riel answered truthfully. Creators knew she had enough things in her own part that she didn't want to speak about. This one thing she could actually understand about Alistair. Somethings just needed to stay in the past, and were no one's business than their own. "But why tell me now? Do you think that with Cailen dead, Eamon may try to put on the throne?"

"Oh Maker, I hope not!" he exclaimed, fear coloring his words. "Look, I'm  _not_  a prince. I'm just a poor sod who just happens to share some blood with someone famous. That's all."

"Very well,  _my prince_ ," Riel laughed, bowing slightly.

"Oh I knew that I was going to regret this!" groaned Alistair. "Look, let's just get to the castle to see what is happening with the arl."

However, they barely got across the bridge before a man came running up from the village below.

"Are you here to help?" the man asked, out of breath.

"Help with what?" Riel asked, eyeing the man carefully.

"With the undead! The village is under attack!"

"Wait, what? Undead are attacking the village?" questioned Alistair, his face going pale.

"Aye ser! Every night now for these past few days. Bann Teagan is down at the Chantry, trying to organize and prepare, but things are looking dire, ser. That is why I was hoping you were reinforcements!"

"I know Teagan. He is Eamon's brother and a good man. We should help them!" Alistair pleaded, his eyes on Riel.

Riel looked between the unknown man and Alistair, her mind working. "Take us to Teagan."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"Here,  _mi bella_ … use this to clean the wound."

Riel took the offered bottle of whisky with a grim nod. The battle the night before was brutal, yet they didn't lose anyone. As soon as the sun had set, undead had started coming from both the castle and the lake, surrounding the village on both sides. Riel had tried to prepare the village as much as possible during the previous day, including managing to find a large store of oil to use against the creatures.

Convincing the smithy to open his doors had been fairly easy too, thanks to the combined effect of both Shale and Sten. Although the man will have to repair his door once this was all over with. As luck would have it, Riel had even found proof of Loghain's connection to the Arl's sickness. Hiding amongst the tavern patrons, was an elf who was hired to watch the castle and report back to Loghain with news of when the Arl fell ill. Although it wouldn't prove that Loghain is responsible, it did show that the Teyrn at least knew that the arl  _would_  become sick. Rounding out the preparation for the coming night was convincing a few more reluctant fighters to lend their aid, and giving a much needed moral boost for the few knights that were in the village. By the end of it, Riel had been fairly confident that when the sun finally set the battle would go in their favor.

What she hadn't been expecting, however, was Morrigan getting hit as badly as she did. Which was now why Riel was about to pour whiskey on a still bleeding cut on her thigh instead of having the witch simply heal it with her magic. True, she could have chosen to use one of their few remaining potions, but Riel insisted that they save those for when they entered the castle later in the day.

"Do you want me to pour it?" Zevran again asked, yet Riel gritted her teeth and shook her head no. "Then at least take my hand,  _mi bella_. Squeeze it until the pain subsides."

Riel looked over at Zevran for a moment before she adjusted herself so that he sat behind her. Taking his hand in her free hand, Riel took a deep breath and poured the liquid on her wound. "Ahh! Fuck!" she exclaimed as the wound immediately started to burn from the chemical reaction. Her eyes squinted shut and her head was thrown back as she gripped on to Zevran's hand tightly. " _Zevran…_." she cried out pleadingly, the pain shooting through her leg and up her whole body.

"I am right here,  _mi bella_. Just breathe and it will pass soon," he crooned before kissing her temple. Zevran absolutely despised to see his Warden in pain. Yet with Morrigan still unconscious and Riel stubbornly refusing to take any potions, there was no other way to keep an infection from spreading.  _Blasted Templar!_  Zevran cursed to himself for yet another time that morning.

When the battle had begun, Riel had taken Zevran, Leliana and Shale up on to the path that led to the castle while Sten, Alistair, Morrigan and Fen'harel stayed in the village to protect the people there. Yet before too long, word was sent up the path that the village was taking heavy attack from the creatures coming from the lake. Riel and the others raced down the path and engaged the undead, keeping them far away from the Chantry and the innocents who hid inside.

Alistair was fighting near where Morrigan was casting spells. He was supposed to keep the witch from getting hurt, yet at some point during the battle he left Morrigan's side to slice at a skeleton attacking a lout of a man by the name of Owen. While Alistair was distracted, a skeleton had managed to blindside Morrigan and knocked her hard on the head with it's mace. Thank the gods Riel had convinced the woman to wear a proper helmet before the fight or else they would be burying the witch instead of just waiting for her to heal.

"Will you let me wrap it for you?" Zevran asked, desperate to do anything to aid her. Relieved when she nodded yes, Zevran took the long bandages and carefully set to work wrapping the wound, making sure it wasn't too tight or too loose. With each wrap around her leg, Zevran's irritation at the male rose.  _Blasted Templar!_  he cursed again.

"How is Morrigan?"

"She is still resting. The Revered Mother was able to rouse her well enough to drink a potion not long ago, so it shouldn't be long until she is able to waken properly. It will probably still be a little bit of time after that for Morrigan's magic to return to her, so I want you to stay still for a while yet. Anything you need, I will be happy to get it for you."

"I'm not a child, Zevran," Riel hissed, the pain in her leg making her temper worse.

"I know that,  _mi bella_. But for now, I wish to care for you as I should. You can argue with me about when you are well."

"And the others?" Riel asked with a sigh, not wishing to start another argument with him.

"The Templar and Shale are fine. Leliana had some minor cuts, but nothing serious. Sten is nursing a cut on his hand from when he grabbed a sword away from a skeleton by the blade."

"Sodding idiot…" Riel cursed. "Can he still use it?"

"He didn't even notice it until the battle ended and wondered why his hand was wet!" Zevran chuckled softly. "He was offered a potion, however he is as stubborn as you are and refused."

"I guess we  _are_  alike in some ways, after all."

Zevran wrapped his arms around Riel's waist a little tighter. "You are  _nothing_  like that creature,  _mi bella_."

"Pardon me messerre, but your  _mage_  - she is awake…" the Chantry sister replied, worry etched on her face.

"Thank you, dear sister. Would please be so kind as to inform our companion Leliana?" Zevran all but purred up to the woman. The woman's blush was obvious, even under the minimal lighting in the Chantry. The change in Riel was far less noticeable, yet Zevran could feel her stiffen against him. " **You**  are who I wish to be with,  _mi bella_. Have no fear," Zevran replied to her, squeezing her hand in his own.

"I'm not the first you've been with, though, am I?" Riel had no idea where the question came from, and she immediately regretted asking it. "Never mind, don't answer," she hurriedly said afterward.

Zevran sighed deeply. "You deserve to know the truth, my lovely Warden," Zevran reached down and lightly took hold of Riel's chin, lifting her face up to meet his. "However, I wish for you to look in my eyes so you can see the truth of my response in my eyes." A moment of silence passed before Zevran took another deep breath and spoke again. "No, you are the not first woman that I have been with," he answered truthfully. Immediately he felt Riel recoil against him, and for the first time in his life, Zevran wished his previous love life was something other than what it was. "However I swear to you,  _mi bella_ , that you will be the last. Even if you were to send me away today, I will  _ **never**_  desire another woman, because for me, there could never be another."

Riel reached her hand up and lightly pulled his lips to meet her own. The kiss was soft, yet the meaning behind it was clear. When she pulled away, Riel looked up into his eyes and smiled. "I don't want anyone other than you, either."

Zevran returned her smile and kissed her forehead, mentally thanking the gods for the woman in his arms. "I am pleased," he whispered to her.

"Ugh… And here I thought that I  _wasn't_  going to throw up…."

Riel looked up to see Morrigan leaning uneasily on her staff a few feet away. "You're awake! How are you feeling?" Riel asked, her face brightening in a wide smile at seeing her friend.

"I would be better if a fool of man knew how to follow orders," she groused. "However, I still do not have any of my magic as of yet."

"When you do, our Warden needs attending. She was cut fairly badly during the fighting last night."

"I'm fine Zevran. It's just a scratch," Riel argued, rolling her eyes.

"Morrigan?" Zevran asked pointedly, ignoring Riel's protests.

"You are not the only one who cares for our skilled leader, elf," Morrigan replied in the same pointed tone that Zevran had used. "Do not worry, she will be my first priority as soon as I am able."

"Good. Now go rest so you recover quicker," Zevran stated with a nod back the makeshift cot that the witch was using earlier. Morrigan nodded her head, yet kept her sly smile on her face before hobbling back over to the cot and lying down.

"There are probably others who need healing more than I do, Zevran."

"Not to me,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran replied with a slight squeeze.

"Excuse me Ser Riel, but when you are able I would like to discuss our next course of action," Bann Teagan stated as he walked over to her.

"We can discuss things now," Riel stated, sitting herself up. Yet when she tried to stand, Zevran refused to release his hold on her.

"You should remain resting until Morrigan is able to heal you, Riel," Zevran stated, his voice hard.

"By the Dread Wolf, Zevran! I am not some invalid or some sick child! Yes, I got a scratch on my leg, but I am still able to hold conversations!"

"It's not a  _scratch_ , Riel! I could see the bone underneath!" Zevran snapped back, his tone evenly matching Riel's.

"And I've received far worse before!"

"I know, I've seen it!"

"Uhh… Perhaps I shall see how the Revered Mother is doing with the others. Come see me later, Ser Riel…" the bann said cautiously, stepped back slowly before leaving the two quarreling elves.

"Just answer me one thing, please…" Zevran stated, his tone changing and becoming pleading.

"What?"

Zevran leaned in close to her so that he could whisper in her ear without others overhearing. "Please tell me why don't you heal it yourself?"

Riel's face blanched as a fresh wave of fear washed through her, followed quickly by a deep shame and sadness. Since that night at the river outside of Haven, neither of them had brought up her hidden powers. In fact, Riel was praying that maybe he would forget about what he saw completely. It seemed though that the Creators had other plans. Silence descended between then as she fidgeted with her fingers. A common habit Zevran had discovered that Riel did when there was something on her mind that she didn't want to discuss or know how to.

"I-... I  _can't…_ " she finally admitted. "When  _it_ first came to me, I was afraid of my masters using it against me. So I never used it. I hid it as best as I could, even when I was among the Dalish. Anything I have ever done with it has been accidental."

" _Mi bella_ …." sighed Zevran.

"Besides, even if I could…. I  **can't**  be locked up again, Zevran. And if people were to know…"

"Shh,  _mi bella_. I will  _never_  let anyone lock you away. You will never be alone again, I swear it."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Riel felt as if she was going to fall over. They had been fighting for the whole day, battling against undead, shades, and demons as she and her group fought their way through the castle. Earlier, Teagan had gone with Isolde into the castle and Riel worried about the fate of the man. With few answers from the arlessa, and more attacks on the way come nightfall, Riel had reluctantly agreed that he should go see if he could help the boy, Connor, while she and the others sneaked through the hidden entrance to the castle through the windmill.

"I'm going to kill that mage…" Riel cursed as she remembered the apostate they ran into down in the dungeon.

"I will hold him down for you,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran laughed darkly.

Riel wiped her brow with the back of her hand before almost falling from a sudden dizzy spell.

"Riel!" Alistair exclaimed as he saw her begin to fall. However, Zevran was there beside the female Warden before Alistair could barely take a step towards her.

"Easy there,  _mi bella_. Perhaps we should rest a minute,  _no_?"

"No, I'm fine," Riel replied, waving Zevran off. "We need to find Connor and Teagan. I just need to catch my breath."

"The main entrance isn't too much farther. We should be there soon, and once there we can open the open the gates to let the other knights in."

"Just a little farther…." Riel whispered, more to herself than anyone else.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

If Riel didn't believe in fate having a cruel sense of irony before, she did now. Standing there looking at the possessed child, Riel was torn between laughing hysterically at how fate had showcased wonderfully to her the dangers of hiding magic, and collapsing from sheer exhaustion.

Despite the potions and healing magic from Morrigan, Riel had lost a lot of blood between all the battles that had taken place over the last day and half. She was light headed and it felt as if every muscle and bone in her body hurt. She hadn't slept since the night before they arrived in Redcliff, and she knew neither had Zevran and Alistair. In fact, all four of them were barely standing at they faced down the demon that controlled the boy Connor.

"I don't like how you ruined my fun, elf!" the demon sneered from out of Connor's mouth. "You've killed my undead and saved that stupid village! Why do you interfere?" it roared.

"I always thought that demons strived for power? Yet you choose to make a deal with not just a untrained mage, but a child at that!" Riel taunted, hiding her exhaustion behind her anger.

"He is powerful enough for now. Besides, there are others who I could make deals with when this one proves no longer useful," the demon argued back.

"What if I could get you more power?"

"Riel, what are you doing?" Alistair hissed from behind her.

"What are you proposing, elf?"

"The Circle of Magi isn't so far from here. They have lyrium... lots of it. With lyrium, you could become stronger."

"Why use lyrium when I can use the blood of those hapless villagers?" the demon spat back.

"You and I both know that the boy isn't strong enough to keep using blood magic like that. Blood magic may be powerful, but it burns through quickly in the inexperienced. With lyrium, you could do so much more."

"Hmmm… Perhaps you are right. What are you proposing?"

"You let me and my friends leave, and we go to the CIrcle, where we acquire their lyrium, and bring it back to you. In exchange, you leave the village and the rest of the people in the castle alone until we get back."

"And if I refuse?"

"We kill you now," Riel stated flatly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"No! Connor!" Isolde cried out, yet Riel ignored the sobbing woman. If this was going to work, she needed to get the demon to agree.

"And what's to stop the demon from continuing to attack the village once we leave? Or even just escaping with the boy's body?" Alistair demanded from beside her, his anger twisting his features into something of rage.

"If it does, I bring back a whole legion of mages to hunt down the demon down and tear it apart from the Fade out," Riel replied coldly, her eyes still fixed on the demon.

"Very well, elf. Your offer intrigues me. You and I shall have an accord while you fetch me the lyrium!" the demon exclaimed happily before dashing off through a doorway and out of sight.

"Just what in the name of the Maker are you doing, Riel?!" Alistair shouted as he roughly took hold of Riel arm and twisted her around to face him.

Riel didn't even have time to react before Zevran's blade was at the Templar's throat, the blade a hairsbreadth away from cutting through the skin. "I would unhand our lovely Warden,  _Templar_. That is, if you want to keep your head attached to your body."

"Gah!" Alistair shouted in frustration as he let go of Riel, his hands going to his hair and taking hold. "You better have a good reason for this, Riel! Because I swear to you, I will  _not_  stand back while you offer a demon buckets of lyrium or worse yet, kill the innocent boy that it has possessed!"

"No! You can't kill my son!"

"For the next few days, the demon controlling Connor will  _probably_  not attack the village below. That gives us time," Riel stated, trying to keep her voice level despite the fury rolling in her blood.

"Time for what? Do you even know what you're doing?" Isolde screamed again.

"By the Creators, if you don't  **back**  off woman -"

"I think I have an idea…"

All eyes went to the doorway where Jowen - the mage who poisoned Eamon and started this whole mess to begin with - stood, his face lined with worry and regret.

" **You!** This is  **YOUR**  fault! You did this to Connor! You did this to my family!" Isolde screamed at the apostate.

"Is that the mage? I-I thought you said he was locked up?" Teagan asked, his words still a bit slurred from the spell the demon had him under.

"He  **was**!" Isolde raked Riel with a cold glare. " _Someone_  must have let him go!"

"Look, I know that I'm responsible for all this, which is why I want to help fix this," Jowen meekly pleaded.

"Help?  _ **Help?!**_  Why should we trust the one who brought this evil into my home?"

"Teagan, if you  **don't**  shut that woman up, I'm going to get Morrigan to use the last bit of magic that she has to put a sleep spell on her!" Riel roared. The pain behind Riel's eyes was bad enough without the arlessa's shrill voice adding to it every time she opened her Voidborn mouth.

"Oh please say that I can!"

"Isolde, please, let them figure this out. I trust Alistair and his friends. Come sit by the fire and I shall send one of the guards to fetch you some water," Teagan pleaded, placing his hands on Isolde's shoulders.

Isolde threw her arms up in the air in frustration before finally letting Teagan pull her away towards the hearth fire.

"Do you have an idea, Jowen?" Riel snapped at the mage.

"I do… sort of…"

"What do you mean, ' _sort of'_?" Alistair cursed. "This is ridiculous!"

"Shut up, Alistair, or I'll get Morrigan to cast a spell on  **you**  and I won't be nice enough to just ask for a sleep spell!" Riel shouted at the ex-Templar. She then lowered a heated gaze on the mage by the door. "Speak Jowen, and by the Creators, you better speak quickly. I have absolutely  **no**  patience left for bullshit."

"I know a spell," Jowen quickly stated, coming closer to the others. "I can send someone into the Fade to battle against the demon. Connor so far has only been possessed, not corrupted into an abomination. If we can defeat the demon in the Fade, he will be freed from it without us having to kill him."

"Just what kind of spell is this?" Zevran asked.

"I won't lie, it's blood magic."

"Oh that's bloody brilliant! Use  _blood magic_  against a demon!" Alistair exclaimed angrily.

"Morrigan, remember what you did to that emissary back in Honnleath?" Riel asked without even looking at the woman.

"Your wish is my command," Morrigan laughed before quickly casting a spell. Immediately a circle of light appeared under Alistair, immobilizing him while at the same time doing minor damage. "Although it would probably solve a lot of headaches, I made sure to not cast it strong enough to kill him. Although he will have one Fadeborn of a headache when he wakes up," Morrigan added with a twisted smile.

Jowen's eyes widened as he watched Alistair silently scream behind the walls of the spell. "Remind me to never get on her bad side…"

"That's good advice for  _anyone_ , my friend," Zevran added darkly.

"Now Jowen…. You said this was blood magic?"

"Yes. It requires harnessing the power of the lifeforce in blood to propel the mage into the Fade."

"Does it have to be a mage who goes in?" Zevran asked.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. Only a mage's mind is capable of dealing with the Fade while awake."

"How much blood will you need?"

"That's the problem…." Jowen paused, his face filling with grief.

"Alistair?!" Isolde's screeching voice came from behind Riel, causing her eyes to squint from the pain. "Just what have you done to him?!"

"I saved his life," Riel replied dryly to the woman.

"How is this saving his life?"

"Riel is this completely necessary?" Teagan added from beside Isolde.

"Ugh…." Riel rubbed her fingers against the pounding at her temple before turning on the nobles. " **Look!**  I've had one  **hell**  of a bad day!" she shouted at the two of them. "I'm damn near falling over from exhaustion, blood loss, and muscle fatigue. I not only fought all last night to keep  _your_  village safe, but I've killed I don't know how many more undead and demons just within the castle trying to get to you. Now for some Creator forsaken reason I'm trying desperately to figure out a way to save your son from  **your**  mistake of not sending him to the Circle when you found out he was a mage to begin with!"

"Excuse me? How dare you!" Isolde spat.

"Oh do be quiet, woman," Riel sneered. "Your voice is like cat's screech when you step on it's tail." From behind her, Riel missed the amused and satisfied looks on both Zevran and Morrigan's faces. "Now, is what Morrigan did to Alistair necessary? No. But it was better than turning him into a frog and serving him up for dinner on the Orlesian Princess' next dinner meal!" Riel turned and faced Jowen then. "Now tell me -  _exactly_  - what you are planning, and is there anyway to do it  _ **without**_  killing anyone?"


	16. The Circle Tower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, and I would appreciate any reviews!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mi dulce: Antivan. "My sweet."
> 
> Mi hermoso elfo: Antivan. "My handsome elf."

In a backwards sort of way, the demons and shades running rampant around the Circle Tower made being there easier for Riel. Originally she had dreaded visiting the prison the Chantry lovingly called "The Circle", where mages were brought from all over Ferelden and locked away. Stripped of their family, their rights, and sometimes even their mind in a sadistic ritual known as "Tranquility", the Circle represented everything that Riel feared.

True, there were some good things about the Circle as well. They trained and prepared mages to fight against the demons that were forever drawn to them. The Fade is where all demons came from, and it was also the place of dreams. Unlike normal people, mages had the ability to access the strange and wonderful powers that existed there, using them to change or interact with the real world. This was the source of all magic.

The Fade was also a source of much fear and uncertainty for many as well. Because of a mage's power to access the Fade, demons sought them out like moths to a flame, tempting them and twisting them. Demons craved to access to the real world where they feed on people and their emotions, and mages were the doorway between worlds for the foul creatures.

To protect the people, the Chantry had set up the Circles and placed them all throughout Thedas. Institutions of learning for mages, they were watched over and guarded by Templars, who alone were capable of smiting down a mage and negating their powers. These specially trained men and women acted as both the first and last line of defence for both the people of Thedas and the mages themselves against the demons that threatened them.

However, even the best laid intentions could go wrong. And few could find a better example of that than the Circle itself.

Abuse, treachery, blackmail, and other vile corruptions lived and breathed within the Circles of Thedas. Some were better than others, true. But not one was free from it. And in places where magic was thought of as more of a 'curse' than a 'blessing', the amount of corruption vastly increased.

Mages were sometimes forcibly cut off from the Fade in a barbaric ritual if those around them deemed them too 'dangerous'. A seal was placed on the mage's forehead, severing their link with the Fade permanently, cutting off not just their magic and ability to be possessed, but the ritual also destroyed any semblance of who that person once was. Emotionally dead, empty people existed where the mage once stood. With no ability to dream and no longer able to use magic, these poor 'Tranquil' became little more than slaves that obeyed without thinking.

It was every mage's ultimate fear to be made Tranquil. Even possession was not as frightful to some as Tranquility was. And the Templars who were supposed to watch over the mages knew it, and were not shy about threatening the rite on any mage who stepped out of line.

Although performing the rite on a fully fledged mage was against Chantry law, it was not unheard of. Neither were Templars using their positions of power over the mages to abuse them in other ways. However, any mage who disagreed with being housed in the Circle and tried to escape was branded an 'apostate' and was either recaptured or killed. After all, the Chantry taught that any mage outside of the Circle's 'protection' was at high risk of being corrupted by a demon.

_Magic is meant to serve man, not rule over him_

According to the Chantry, 'serving' meant constantly watching for any signs whatsoever of blood magic or other forms of corruption. However, even gilded cages were still cages.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

_They can't take me_

Riel forced herself to remember that once thought again and again as she walked the halls of the Circle, searching for survivors and killing any demons or abominations that they came across. Even with Zevran at her side, the reality of where she was wore her already frayed nerves thin.

"I am here,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran once again whispered to her.

Riel looked beside her and smiled. Not once had he left her side since they crossed over to the small island that housed the tower. Behind her Alistair marched solemnly, and next to him was the mage Wynne, who they had met shortly after entering the tower.

When Riel and the others entered the tower, it was quickly revealed that the very worst had happened. Abominations and demons had somehow managed to take over, killing and possessing mages and Templars as they flooded through the many levels of the tower. The Knight Commander in charge of the tower had sent word to request a complete annulment of the tower and its mages, granting permission for the Templars to kill any all mages in the tower under order of the Crown. According to them, it was the only way to make sure that no abomination escaped.

However, Riel wasn't content to just sit back and let these Templars kill the mages that may still be trying to survive beyond the heavy doors that the knights protected. The Circle Tower housed mages of every age, including children, and Riel refused to let them die out of fear and distrust. Thankfully, Riel's stubbornness finally made Knight Commander Greagoir agree to allow Riel and her group to help end the demon menace. However, they only had until the Rite of Annulment arrived, which could come at any time.

Angry, frustrated, and facing her own fears, Riel lifted her chin and agreed to the Knight Commander's terms. Now, it was only a matter of finding the First Enchanter - if he still lived that was. As the most senior mage and leadership counterpart to the Knight Commander, Riel was charged with finding the man and bringing him back to the entrance of the tower. Only then would Greagoir revoke the Rite of Annulment.

And so Riel and her companions entered the tower, faced with yet another near impossible task. However, Riel refused to give up. Far too much counted on her, including not just the innocent mages of the tower that still lived, but the people back in Redcliff and young Connor. And of course beyond that, all of Ferelden. She couldn't give up or allow herself to fall, no matter how heavy the burden on her shoulders got.

"I'm right here,  _mi bella_."

Zevran's words to her were becoming almost as much of a mantra as her own as they wandered the halls, killing demons and possessed Templar abominations. Now if she could only keep herself from going insane from her own fears of being in this place, they might actually have a chance of surviving it.

_They can't take me_

"Riel dear, are you alright?" Wynne asked from behind her.

Riel tried to smile convincingly as she looked at the older mage. "Just fine Wynne."

"I think perhaps we are in a need of short break,  _no_?" Zevran chimed in from the other side of Riel.

"Getting tired, assassin?" Alister sneered.

"Of course not, my dear Templar friend! However, we must consider the company we are in. I for one would not like to think that I am the cause of any undue stress upon these lovely young ladies," Zevran replied with a wink to Wynne.

"Young man, I may be a lady, but I am hardly young. That doesn't mean though that I am unable to keep up with you young sprites."

"I want to check over my weapons anyway," stated Riel quickly, keeping her eyes ahead of them. Blaming her weapons was after all easier than admitting to the pain that still emanated from her leg that was wounded back in Redcliff. Even though Morrigan's magic healed the deep wound as soon as she was able, it was several hours afterward that the magic was applied. The mage even confided in Riel that there might be some nerve damage that her magic was unable to permanently heal so long after the injury. Which given how badly her leg hurt, Riel guessed probably had happened.

"Of course dear," the other woman said with the strange kindly smile that she always had. "There is a common room up ahead that has many tables and chairs for us to rest in."

Ever since Riel had met the woman, Riel could tell that there was something odd about her. Wynne was actually a veteran of Ostagar, having survived the battle and returned to the Circle in time to watch another Ostagar mage by the name of Uldred begin his take over, causing the damage and death that surrounded them. Wynne had even erected a barrier to protect several children from the demons and abominations when Riel and the others had come across her.

Yet none of that is what bothered Riel most about the mage. Somehow, whenever Wynne looked at her, it was if the old woman saw straight into Riel's soul. That she could tell every secret and hidden thing that Riel kept tightly locked away despite everything Riel had done to protect herself.

_They can't take me_

Suddenly Zevran pulled Riel to a stop, a gentle hand on her arm.

"Wait,  _mi bella_ … Do not move forward…" he whispered, his brow furrowed. Carefully the Antivan elf took a step, then another, his eyes fixed onto the ground below him. He then kneeled down close to the doorway leading into the next room, and took something out of his side pack. Riel was about to ask what he was doing when a loud snap echoed, announcing the presence of a trap. "There, all better," Zevran said with a wide, satisfied smile. "The way is safe again for you,  _mi bella_."

"Well, isn't  _he_  handy?" Wynne replied with a grin.

"You have to teach me to do that, Zevran," Riel said as he walked over to him.

"It just takes patience,  _mi bella_ …." he paused, looking Riel directly in her eyes and giving her a look filled with pure mischief. "And  _nimble_  fingers…" he added with a wink as he wiggled his fingers.

Riel had trouble keeping her laugh to herself, even as her face flushed a bright red. Although the two of them had yet to do anything really intimate during the nights that they spent together, Riel remembered all too well the feel of those fingers on her skin as they lightly caressed her. Her skin seemed to tickle as the memory of his soft touch filled her mind, making her stomach feel as if she had swallowed butterflies instead of the stew she had that morning.

Thankfully the room they entered was empty of enemies, granting a small reprieve from the seemingly endless amounts demons and other horrors that filled the tower. With a heavy sigh Riel lowered herself down into one of the chairs, leaning back and closing her eyes as she silently prayed for the pain in her leg to subside.

"Are you sure there isn't something I can help you with, Riel?" Wynne asked as she approached Riel and placed a tender hand on Riel's arm. Riel quickly sat forward at the touch, still not comfortable with the touch of others upon her. Even coming from a fellow woman, feeling the touch of others still greatly bothered her. Only Zevran seemed to have bypassed her defences and didn't cause her body to recoil in fear at even the thought of the touching someone else.

"Ah, my dear Wynne, I think I may have sprained my knee when that last demon knocked me down. Perhaps you could lend me some of your magic, yes?" Zevran interrupted before Riel reacted poorly to the woman's concern. Smiling, Riel mouthed a 'thank you' to him while she absently rubbed her arm where the older mage had touched her.

"Why didn't you say something earlier, Zevran?" Wynne asked as she went over to inspect his leg. Zevran sat on the edge of the table and lifted his left leg for the mage, smiling his usual flirtatious smile.

"Oh, it was really not that bad until I just stood up you see. Besides, this way I get to look down on your glorious bosom, and imagine snuggling my head there."

Wynne stopped her magic on his leg and stood up abruptly, a scowl on her face. "My  _what-_?"

"Don't mind him, Wynne. He... takes some getting used to." Alistair replied, casting a glance over to Riel.

Since that day at Redcliff when Riel had Morrigan cast her spell on him, Alistair had refused to speak to her. And this was worse than his normal silent treatments that he usually gave to her when he was angry. Even being explained the plan later by Leliana didn't seem to calm his temper, and Riel silently wondered if she had pushed the ex-Templar too far this time.

It wasn't as if she didn't understand his concerns over what was happening in Redcliff. These people were his family, afterall. Although estranged, Eamon was still his uncle which meant that the boy Conner was his nephew. And while Riel had no real family of her own, Riel still carried the loss of Tamlen in her chest everyday. She couldn't even fathom the possibility of losing someone as close as a family member to something as horrible to a demon.

And while Riel harbored some regret over her actions during that day, her pride and and previous dislike for the human interfered with her ability to even broach the subject with him, let alone apologize. So instead Riel consoled herself by just remembering how much of an ass he was being at the time.

"That is exactly it! I am like a fine wine. Time must pass before I can be truly appreciated, isn't that right,  _mi bella_?" Zevran replied with flourish, winking at Riel playfully.

"I don't know. I am still waiting," replied Riel, her eyes carrying the same look of mischief that his normally had. Catching her playfulness, Zevran added to his acting and pretended to be genuinely hurt by her words.

"Oh! My dear Riel! How your words wound me! However shall I recover?" Zevran placed his hands over his heart and tried to look sorrowful at Riel even as the edges of lips were turned up in a repressed smile.

"Well, this is certainly not what I expected when I heard the tales of the famous Grey Wardens," Wynne chuckled softly, a small smile gracing her lips.

"My lovely Wynne, I may not be as talented a Grey Warden, however I must say that I was quite good at my job before I was thoroughly defeated at the hands of our beautiful Warden here. You indeed have made me so very sad," Zevran stated as stepped closer to the elder mage. "Perhaps you will let me cry on your lovely bosom until I feel better,  _no_?"

"No." Wynne leveled a perturbed glare at the elf as she crossed her arms across her chest. For a moment, the mage truly did look upset before she could no longer hide the slight smile that appeared as Zevran continued to pout like a spoiled child at her.

"Riel, I think you may wish to rein in our resident assassin before our new mage friend here lights the back of his trousers on fire," joked Alistair, surprising Riel with his levity. It was the first time since they arrived at Redcliff that he actually made a joke about something. Looking over at the elf and mage, Riel couldn't help but laugh at the sight of Zevran pouting with his bottom lip jutting out from his mouth and Wynne looking half mad, half amused.

"Alright, alright. Let's leave poor Wynne alone now. Come on Zevran."

"Oh, does that mean I can get a kiss as compensation for the cruelties against me,  _mi bella_?" Zevran purred as he drew up close to Riel, his eyes sparking their usual fire whenever he looked at her. Which was truly the only reason that Riel had begun to no longer mind his flirtations with others so much anymore. Only when he looked at her did his eyes sparkle and his smile reach up to his warm amber eyes.

"Okay, that's enough mushy stuff for me. Wynne and I will be up ahead for whenever you two are are done," Alistair replied, barely hiding a small look of pain in his eyes.

"See? We are getting some privacy,  _mi bella_. I am sure if we clear off the table here-"

"Zevran! No!" Riel laughed as she lightly pushed him away.

"Yes, you are right,  _mi dulce_ ," Zevran stated as he looked around with a frown, his brow furrowed in thought. "There are far too many enemies around here. Plus, have you seen the mess that this place is in? It is no place to fulfill our rampant desires in, don't you agree?"

Zevran knew he was pushing Riel, yet he also knew how much she needed the distraction of his playful taunts. While she may like to imagine that she had managed to keep the stress of coming to this place to herself, Zevran had come to know his Warden fairly well since he first decided to follow her all those weeks ago. Every move she made and every expression on her face called out to him, drawing his attention to where it was almost as if he was able to hear her very thoughts.

From her distress at being at the Circle Tower, to the guilt she had for her reactions back in Redcliff, to the way she mildly limped with each step she took because of the pain that still existed in her leg. Every aspect of her called out to him, and Zevran was determined to ease her as much he could. Even if it meant causing her to blush so deeply, her whole face turned a vibrant yet beautiful pink.

"Zevran, if you don't stop, when we finally get out of this blasted tower I will see to it that Morrigan tells you of all the men that her mother led to their demise within the wilds - with great detail, I might add."

"Okay, you win... For now,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran replied with a wink before grabbing his daggers off the table and sheathing them at his back.

"Are they always like this?" Wynne asked to Alistair as she watched the looks Riel and Zevran continued to taunt each other with.

"Unfortunately, yes," replied Alistair, his voice sad yet distant. "Riel used to be…  _different…_  before the assassin." Wynne watched with experienced eyes as Alistair focused on the female elf. "She does seem happy now, so I guess… Yeah…"

"Okay, that's enough!" Riel exclaimed in false exasperation. "Let's go kill some more demons before Zevran here starts undressing us in his mind."

"Too late,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran laughed, his brows wiggling.

"At least I can be thankful it's not me," Alistair replied in a low grumble.

"Who says it is not, my dear Templar? I think you would look rather handsome without all the cumbersome armor. Hmmm...  _Yes_..." Zevran said with a look of lust in his eyes as he stared at Alistair in ways the assassin usually reserved for Riel.

Both Riel and Wynne couldn't help but laugh hysterically at the blush that rose in Alistair's face, going from his neck all the way to his ears. Frowning deeply, Alistair just turned and walked away, mumbling curses under his breath.

"Your backside looks just as tasty, Alistair. Oh, how you tempt me with that sultry walk of yours!" Zevran continued, barely being able to hold back his own raucous laughter that threatened to burst forth at Alistair's reaction.

"Enough Zevran!" Alistair angrily shouted back over his shoulder as he tried - and failed - to move his shield around to his backside in order to hide it from Zevran's lurid gaze.

"Oh, you are so bad,  _mi hermoso elfo_." Riel replied with a laugh, using one of the phrases she had learned from Zevran over the past few days.

"Ah, you're Antivan is getting better every day,  _mi dulce._  But alas, I am sure there are more demons for us to kill, is there not? How about a bet as to who kills the most? Winner gets to tell the other of one of their more dirtier fantasies?"

"Oh, and how is that fair? You know I don't-"

"Tsk, tsk  _mi bella_. You assume you will win? Not against me, I am afraid. You must accept the truth of it; that when we are done here, I will finally be able to tell you of some more interesting positions I think of you in..." Zevran replied with a playful wink.

"Alright, that's enough. I am joining Alistair. I will play no part in your game," Wynne stated with a semi-serious face as she walked off towards where Alistair was waiting by the door to the next floor.

"Oh, but my dear Wynne... If you don't play, how I am supposed to tell you about the many things I wish to do to your glorious bosom?"


	17. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> I warn you now. This is not a happy chapter. Major TRIGGER warnings for those sensitive to rape, abuse, or sexual trauma.
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.

It was the smells that woke her. The stench of dried blood, festering wounds, fetid urine, and other vile and disgusting things that marked the room she had spent so long in. It was a smell that she would remember, lying awake in her bed at night, even years later.

The smell of her captivity.

Riel's eyes flashed open and she screamed. An ear piercing, fear born wail that shook her down to her very core.  _She was back_  Back in the room of her torment and nightmares. The threadbare mattress under her creaked as Riel scooted herself up against the backboard, causing the chains around her ankles to clash together.

Frantically Riel looked around the small room that haunted her dreams. It was the same worn and dark wood walls, the same dirty pale paint covering them. The same faded pictures on the walls of people she never knew. Even the dirt on the floor was the same as it was before.

_She was back_

"No! No! No!  **NO!** " Riel screamed to herself as she grabbed hold of the chains that latched around her ankles and pulled as hard as she could. However, she knew they that wouldn't budge. They never did. No matter how many times she pulled or thrashed against them, the long lengths of metal were securely fit into the ground below her. Yet still she yanked, irritating the already inflamed and thin skin of her sore ankles. "This isn't real! This  _ **can't**_  be real! Please,  _no_!"

"Eh! Shut yer mouth in 'ere!" The deep voice coming through the closed door across from the bed stopped Riel dead. A sickening slime of dread slid down her spine as she heard the familiar baritone.

The wooden door to the room opened slowly, revealing an aging obese human. His old clothes were torn in some areas, sweat marks darkening the blue tunic that he wore. Thinning, greasy hair fell across his round and pudgy face as his cold dark eyes pinned Riel with a hard and nasty glare.

"I 'avn't forgotten yer lil' escape, either, you elven bitch. Rich said 'ta wait 'til he got up, but maybe yer awake 'nuff to play now, eh?"

"Stay away from me!" Riel screamed out, edging herself even further back against the board behind her. Yet it was no use, there was no getting away. There never was.

The man's twisted smile revealed several broken and busted teeth, and made his face look even more repugnant. Slowly he walked into the room, knowing his prey had nowhere to go and nowhere to hide from him. "Ya know, I told Rich that we oughta just bust yer legs up this time. Not like ye'd be needin' 'em," the man sneered as placed his heavy pawed hands on the bed.

"Don't touch me!" Riel yelled as he reached for her leg.

"Aww, is 'at any way to speak ta yer daddy?" he laughed as he grabbed hold of one of her legs and pulled Riel closer to him. Desperate, Riel kicked out, managing to kick the man solidly in his face with her free foot. "Bitch!" he roared before backhanding Riel across the face.

Pain exploded in her head as blood filled her mouth. Disorientated, Riel cried out as she felt heavy hands grab both of her legs and pry them apart. She tried pushing the immense body away, yet his weight and size was no match for her small frame. Immediately Riel felt his sweaty body covering hers, the stench and feel of it causing her to gag and cough.

"Give us a kiss, love," the man purred in his heavy voice as he reached for her face. Bile mixed with the blood on Riel's tongue as the man pressed his fatty lips against hers as his hands grabbed roughly at her breasts. "Mmm… ya know how I love it when ya fight. Makes the lovin' sweeter, it does," he laughed darkly.

"Get off of me!" Riel cried again, tears streaming down her face.

And then there it was. That hard, putrid thing pressing against her soft core.

" **NO!** "

_Mi bella, the past is gone._

_I swear to you, they can never hurt you again..._

_Trust in me, mi bella..._

_You are never alone._

The rich, sweetly accented voice broke through the pain and anxiety in Riel's mind, acting like a beacon calling out to her.

Focusing her eyes on that of her old master's, Riel felt a fiery heat flow through her, lighting her up from the inside out. "You shall  **never**  touch me again, you  **PIG!** " Riel roared before a wave of flame erupted from her flesh.

The blinding heat rushed forward, consuming the man above her as his painful screams echoed around the room. With a strength unknown to her, Riel heaved the burning body from her and on to the floor below. Looking down to her legs, Riel was surprised to find the chains that used bite into her ankles now gone.

"They cannot take me!" screamed Riel as she leapt off the burning bed and ran from the room. Even free from under her the vile man, the flames coming from her skin refused to abate. Everything Riel touched caught on fire as she stumbled through the old house, from the walls to the very floor that she walked on. Each footstep that she made leaving behind a burning trail that leapt up and consumed anything it could. By the time Riel reached for the door that would lead to her freedom, the small dirty house around her was alive with the fire that she wrought, the flames greedily licking and eating at the aged wood and grime.

_I am here, mi bella._

"You shall  **NOT**  take me!" Riel bellowed before rushing through the front door of the house and out of her nightmare.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

The next time Riel opened her eyes, she was standing in a long hall in what looked like a grand castle. The windows around her were high and the light from the sun warmed her skin. Around her were the smiling faces of strangers of all races, looking at her and clapping in applause. Confused, Riel slowly made her way down the hall. The men and women on either side of her were dressed in a variety of ways, from casual city clothes to those of noble born, to even many more wearing armor of different types. Yet they were all cheering her.

Feeling her face flush, Riel continued walking down the long carpet towards the large dias up ahead. Standing there were others, yet these men Riel felt as if she knew somehow. She could almost feel them, as she felt Alistair in her blood due their shared Warden status.

Were these other Grey Wardens?

"Congratulations Riel! You did it! I knew you could!"

Riel focused her eyes on the figure standing in the middle of those who awaited her, her face brightening in a huge smile as she recognized the dark brown hair and trimmed yet full beard. "Duncan!" Riel exclaimed happily, running the rest of the way and taking the stairs of the dias two at a time.

"I knew you could do it, Riel!" Duncan congratulated her as she joined him. Unable to contain her joy, Riel jumped at her one time mentor, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight hug.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her mind still fuzzy.

"Of course I would be here, Riel! You ended the Blight! The Darkspawn are gone forever! I wouldn't miss your celebration for the world!"

"What do you mean, the Darkspawn are gone?" Riel asked as she pulled back, worry and confusion etched across her face.

"That was the last Arch Demon! When you killed it, all the Darkspawn everywhere died! You saved all of Thedas, Riel!" Duncan explained calmly, holding her comfortably against him.

_This is wrong_

The feeling wriggled against her mind even as she looked into the smiling face of the only human male she ever truly liked. Riel tried to grasp the memories of the fight, yet they were as if wisps of smoke in her mind no matter how hard she tried. Yet the feeling of something being wrong persisted, eating away her happiness and relief.

It was the feeling of Duncan's arms around her that finally laid the last piece into place into Riel's mind. Only one person ever held her like this, and it  _wasn't_  the human Grey Warden standing before her. In fact, Duncan - the  _real_  Duncan - never really touched her at all. He would have been shocked and amazed at how she just leapt at him, not holding her comfortably in his arms as he was doing now.

Quickly Riel backed away from the man's easy embrace.

"You're not Duncan," Riel half stated, half questioned. Yet even as the words left her lips, she knew the truth of them. "You're  _ **not**_  Duncan!" Riel said more firmly, her eyes darting around to the still laughing and smiling people around her. "None of this is real!"

"What are you talking about, Riel?" the man looking like Duncan said, laughing slightly as if he found her statement absurd. "Of course this is real. You defeated the Blight. You are the hero of everyone!"

_Mi bella._

"Where's Zevran?" Riel shouted, stepping even further back from the people in front of her. Her mind was so foggy, it was hard to concentrate. Yet she knew if she could just get to Zevran, she could figure it out. If she could just find him, she could be safe.

"Zevran is gone. Back to Antiva. You didn't think that he would stick around when the other Crows were chasing after him, did you? Did you think that he would stay for you? All of your companions went back to their lives, Riel. Your place is here, among the Grey Wardens."

_I'm here._

"Where is Alistair then?" Riel suddenly felt dizzy, the world around her starting to gloss over.

"Ruling Ferelden, of course. All of them left you. You are alone here, Riel," the man claiming to be Duncan replied, his voice going deeper than before.

_You are never alone._

"You shall  **NOT**  take me!" Riel roared again, twin blades suddenly appearing in her hands. She launched herself at the pretenders, slashing and twisting her blades at them. Yet instead of her daggers meeting the flesh of her enemies, the blades sliced through the images as if they were nothing more than smoke before disappearing in wisps.

" _Why do you resist_?" a slow, garbled voice echoed from around Riel. Her eyes darting around, Riel kept her blades at the ready as she turned, trying to pinpoint the location of the voice.

_Mi bella._

"Because I am  _ **not**_  alone!"

_I am here._

"And you shall  **not**  take me!"

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

The Fade was a dangerous place. Her people, the Dalish, called it 'The Beyond', and it was a realm of spirits, dreams, and demons. It was a place Riel both feared yet was intrigued by. A place where thought could create anything you wished, if only you had the will and knowledge to do so. It was the place where the humans preached that their Maker lived along with his mortal bride Andraste. And according to the Chant they taught, where the first Darkspawn came from.

Ages ago, a group of Tevinter mages thought to take the Maker's power for their own. They entered the Fade and sought out his Golden Palace from which he ruled. Yet as soon they stepped foot inside the Golden Palace, their greed and ambition turned the palace as black as their souls. Corruption leaked forth from their evil, twisting and bending them into the very first Darkspawn. Then they were thrown out of the Fade, where they continued to spread their vile corruption across Thedas.

Or at least, that's what the Chant of Light said.

Riel wasn't sure if she believed the tale herself. What she did know is that while the Fade was a place to be feared, there was power here. Power that was shared to her in the form of others, trapped there as she was.

Power enough to change her very shape and being.

And so with each level Riel passed through, she gained new abilities. A mouse to hide and travel through small holes. A large stone golem to batter down massive doors and swing powerful attacks at enemies. A flaming skeleton that was immune to fire and allowed her cross into blocked off areas. And a spirit form, that allowed her to access hidden doors that could only be seen through the eyes of the Fade itself.

And with each level's guardian defeated by her hand, a new path was opened in the realm around her. Paths that led to the tormented figures of her friends and allies, trapped in their own nightmares as she had been.

Riel rounded the corner of the path slowly, her blades ready for any creature or demon that approached. In an open area just ahead stood Wynne, the corpses of many child mages lying at her feet.

"I failed them…" she whispered as she looked upon the child corpses. Her old face a mask of utter despair, Riel's heart reached out to the older woman. Carefully she made her way over the mage, keeping her senses on alert in case it was another trap.

"Wynne? Do you know where we are?" Riel asked carefully, making sure to stay a few feet away from the mage.

"How could I have been so careless? I tried so hard, yet still they…" Wynne's words were stopped by a sob that rose in her throat, keeping her from continuing.

"Wynne! This isn't real!" shouted Riel, finally causing Wynne's head to raise. A brief flicker of recognition appeared in her eyes before the grief took over once more.

"Of course it is real! Can't you see their bodies? I failed them!"

"This is the Fade, Wynne. This is a trick. You have to focus!"

"The Fade? What… What are you talking about? Where did you… Where did you come from anyway?"

"Think Wynne. What is the last thing that you remember?"

"Why, I was in the Circle Tower. I was-" Wynne's face scrunched as she tried to pull forth the memory, yet Riel could tell it was difficult for the woman. "Where was I? We were fighting against a demon..,. weren't we?"

"Focus Wynne!" Riel cursed out. "We need to get out of here and rescue the others!"

"Don't leave us, Wynne."

Riel's eyes darted over to one of the bodies, horrified to see the dead child stand up despite the obvious hole in its chest.

"Yes, don't leave us! We need you Wynne!" another child said as it stood a few feet away.

"Maker's breath!" Wynne whispered as the bodies of the dead children around them rose and started to walk towards Wynne.

"Fight them Wynne! They are not your students!" screamed Riel as she sliced at the closest body. As soon as her blade made contact, the image of the dead child disappeared and was replaced by that of a skeleton, it's flesh rotted away and boney fingers reaching out to clasp at the older woman.

Together the two of them beat back the creatures, destroying them until finally it was just the two of them standing alone in the open area. Panting, Riel turned towards the mage and smiled, thankful she finally found someone real in this nightmare realm of dreams.

"Riel, what is going on? Wait- what's happening?" A shimmering light quickly began to form around Wynne's body, causing her to disappear completely before Riel could get to her.

"Wynne!" Riel shouted, reaching out her hand to take hold of Wynne, yet all she touched was air. "Please don't leave me!"

Riel felt tears once again pricking at her eyes. Despite all the false images and lies that she had seen in this place, Riel  _knew_  that was Wynne. She  _knew_  that Wynne was real. And now she was gone. Leaving her alone again.

_You are not alone._

The calming Antivan voice that had followed her through this whole place again spoke to her. It was her one comfort in this strange, confusing, and frightening place. Riel didn't know if it really was him that spoke to her, or her crazed mind that was only making her believe that. Either way, she would take it. If it got her out of this insane place and back to her friends, Riel would use whatever she could.

Straightening her spine, Riel wiped at the tears that formed at the corners of her eyes. She would not let this place win. She would get her friends back. And then she would make whatever demon that did this wish it never was ever created.

"I'm coming, everyone," Riel steely voice uttered as she walked back to the portal that led to this place. " _ **None**_  of us are going to be taken."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

More demons. More fighting. More death. Yet Riel refused to let it scratch her resolve. With her Fade given abilities, she was able to fight through a legion of Darkspawn, demons and shades until finally a new path in the Fade opened for her. Praying that it would take her to the one face that she needed to see most, she stepped through the portal.

Like the area where she had found Wynne, the path Riel walked opened into a small area surrounded by strange and jagged cliff faces. And in the center of it was Alistair.

"Hey Riel! It's great to see you!" Alistair said cheerfully when he saw Riel approach.

"Alistair?" replied Riel cautiously, eyeing the woman standing next to the man.

"I was just thinking of you! Isn't that weird? This is my sister by the way," he said, motioning to the woman beside him. "Her name is Goldanna, and her children are here too! Isn't it wonderful?"

"You seem… happy…" Riel wasn't quite sure what to make of Alistair's reaction as she looked upon his goofy smile and relaxed stance.

_Was this actually Alistair?_

True, he looked the same, and even had the same foolish grin he used to sport whenever he tried joking with her. However, it'd been awhile since the ex-Templar had greeted Riel so happily. Usually now he either shyly smiled as he stumbled through his words, or he glared at her until he walked away. Which one usually depended on whether Zevran was nearby or not.

"Alistair, this isn't real."

"Of course this is real. I am the happiest I have ever been!" Alistair exclaimed, his face beaming.

"Alistair, is your friend going to stay for tea?" the woman beside Alistair stated flatly, her cold eyes locked on Riel.

"This is  **not**  real, Alistair, and  _that_ -" Riel pointed to the other woman. "Is  **not**  your sister. This is the Fade, and she is a demon!"

"Wait, why are saying such mean things? I knew you were cruel, Riel, but that is uncalled for! I am finally happy, why are you trying to ruin it?"

"You can't stay here Alistair. As happy as you are right now, you'll die here unless you wake up and see this for what it is!"

"Don't listen to her, little brother! She has always been mean to you, even when you were only trying to help her! Don't let her destroy your happiness now!" the woman screeched.

"Fine, don't believe me. Just use that brain for once and answer me one question. Where were you before you came here?"

"That's easy! I was-" Alistair paused, his brow furrowing as he thought. "I was… Wait, it's a bit fuzzy…"

"Brother dear, this woman is bothering the children! Send her away, then come have some tea."

"No, I think I remember now… It was a tower…. The Circle? It was under attack?"

"It still  _is_  Alistair. And we need to get out of here before these things drain us dry!"

"No! You cannot have him!" the woman beside Alistair roared, her voice morphing into something dark and twisted before her form changed into that of a shade.

"By the Maker! Look out Riel!" shouted Alistair as he shoved himself between Riel and the shade, taking the blow meant for her. "Ahg!" he groaned as the shade's claws raked across Alistair's back. Without his armor, the claws scratched deep into his flesh, yet he still managed to twist his body and land a brutal backhand on the shade behind him.

"Alistair!" Riel shouted before gripping her blades and rushing forward, slicing at the creature. Suddenly more shades appeared, surrounding them on all sides.

"This… doesn't look good,"

"Alistair! This is the Fade! Your thoughts create your surroundings!" Riel exclaimed as the shades gathered closer to the pair.

"Wait, what?"

"Oh by the Creators!" Riel rolled her eyes as she dodged a swipe by one of the shades before twisting and digging one her blades inside whatever the thing used for a face. "Concentrate on your sword! On your armor!"

Alistair's confused look faded and he closed his eyes for a moment. His body shimmered as he was suddenly clothed in his armor with his sword and shield at his back. Just as a shade was about to attack him, Alistair opened his eyes and grabbed for his blades, taking it free from its sheathe and swiping forth in one smooth motion, cutting the shade in half.

After the shades were dead, they stood side by side, breathing heavily.

"Riel, I… Thank you…" Alistair stated after a moment, his voice soft.

"Don't worry about it," she waved, smiling at him.

"Listen about before, I wanted to say…" Like previously with Wynne, a shimmering field began to take over Alistair's body. "Hey, now what? Wait, where are you going? Riel?!"

"Two down. One to go," Riel stated calmly as she sheathed her weapons and walked towards the portal. "I'm coming Zevran. Just please hold on a little longer."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Okay… She was  _so_  not prepared for this.

The last path - the one that led to Zevran - was opened. Riel had fought and defeated the demons that guarded the way forward. And she thought that she was prepared for whatever dream or nightmare that awaited her as she stepped through the portal that led to where Zevran was being held.

However, nothing could have prepared her for this.

In the open area between the cliffs, there was a single bed. And on it, was her Zevran. And on  _him_  were several very naked human and elven women.

"Z-Zevran…?" Riel's voice was barely above a whisper as she choked on his name.

Silks of red and gold covered the bed that he laid on, his hands bound by silk scarves above his head. Yet he hardly seemed to be struggling against them. Instead he squirmed under the woman's touches and kisses. The image of it searing itself into Riel's mind as she stood there, unable to move or speak despite how her mind and heart screamed at her.

"Oh, look sisters… We have a visitor…." one of the women purred in a sultry voice as she spied Riel. Her curly blonde hair bouncing playfully against her shoulders as she turned her head.

"Do you think that she will join us?" another dark haired woman asked, a wicked smile upon her lips.

"Look Zev darling… We have a gift for you…" the first woman murmured down to him. It was then that Riel saw that Zevran's eyes were squeezed shut and his mouth set in a deep frown.

"I will not be fooled by you foul wenches!" Zevran spat out angrily.

"Oh, but don't you want want to see who we brought you?" a third elven woman asked sweetly before ducking her head down and taking his mouth in a hard kiss.

However Zevran ripped his mouth away quickly, opening his eyes and spearing the woman with a deadly glare. "Away from me! I do not want this!" he seethed, his eyes spitting fire. It was then that he saw Riel standing motionless just a few away. " _Mi bella_?" his voice squeaked in disbelief, a brief flash of happiness in his eyes before fear and sadness clouded his vision. "This is not what it seems! Please, Riel! You must believe me!"

Tears flooded Riel's eyes as she watched the scene before her. Pain exploded in her chest as she watched the naked women roam their hands over Zevran's tattooed body, from his chest down to his legs. And when they got to the length between his legs, Riel felt her body nearly collapse from the tremors shaking her body.

"Too bad you can't please him like we can. You may be well  _used_ , but you are clueless when comes to how to please a man aren't you?" the elven woman hissed as she fondled him. "You can't even handle to be next to his hard length, how can you ever expect to please him as a woman should?" she teased as her hands ran up and down his very hard and erect shaft.

"By the gods, please do not listen to them Riel," Zevran cried out, throwing his head back against the pillows behind him.

"See how hard we make him? Do you think you could ever make him like this? Would you ever  _want_  to?" the blonde teased with a soft laugh, lifting herself slightly off the bed. "Will you watch as I ride him, sweet Riel? You should have seen me do it before. I had him screaming out my name. It was such a sweet sound when he released in of me…." she laughed she began to straddle Zevran.

"Gods…  _please…_.  **no**!" Zevran pleaded helplessly from under the woman.

 _That_  was what broke Riel out of her stupor. The mournful cries that escaped his lips sounded so much like her own from her own tortured nightmares.

In a flash Riel had her blades in her hands as she leapt at the women on the bed. In a single motion she had taken the head from the one straddling Zevran's waist before digging her other blade into the eye of the dark haired woman beside her. The elven woman was last, her hissing face distorting into that of a demon before Riel slashed out with her blades, slitting its throat.

Now dead, the bodies of the women disappeared into mist, leaving just Riel and Zevran alone on the bed. She was still crying as her body heaved, her breaths coming in fast, short gasps. Yet even with the demons gone, Riel refused to look upon Zevran or release him from the binds at his wrists.

"Riel! Please!  _Mi bella_ …. Set me free!  _Please…_." his voice heavy with shame and regret, Zevran pleaded with her, yet Riel still refused to look at him. Within a moment, the same shimmering that took the others started to cover his body as well. "Wait! No! Not yet! Please, I won't leave you like-"

And he was gone.

Riel wiped her eyes on the back of her hand then sheathed her blades at her back. Slowly she stood up and walked back to the portal.

Alone.


	18. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi amiga: Antivan. "My friend."

The long ride across the lake back to the shore was quiet, each person lost in their own thoughts. Riel and the others had managed to defeat the demon keeping their minds captive, and then even managed to defeat Uldred and save the First Enchanter. In fact, Wynne was so impressed with Riel and her campaign against the Blight, that she decided to join the group and help them in their battle.

First Enchanter Irving even promised to head to Redcliff as soon possible with several other mages and a large reserve of lyrium. Although he was leery about Jowen's plan when Riel explained it, he agreed to at least meet with the apostate at Redcliff castle and do everything he could to save the young Connor. Irving explained that it would take a few hours to gather what he needed, but they should arrive at the castle about at most a day after Riel did.

Even Alistair had finally agreed that it was the best plan. Only after the First Enchanter said he would try, of course. But it at least was something. He also didn't seem all that angry at her anymore. Whether that was just from sheer exhaustion, or from him genuinely forgiving her, however, Riel wasn't sure.

In truth, all of them were beyond exhausted.

There had been no real time for rest since Riel and the others had entered the tower seeking help for Redcliff. With the mad blood mage killing or turning innocent people, there hadn't even been much time to waste even catching their breath being battles.

Losing time within the demon's trap had set them back, and Riel had pushed everyone on harder when they broke free from it. The deadly Rite of Annulment still hung of their heads, and the lives of those remaining in the tower rested on Riel and others defeating Uldred and saving the First Enchanter. The fact that she couldn't deal with the events that transpired while trapped in the dreamstate was just another added stress to her. A stress that Riel pushed as far away as she could even as her heart broke every time her eyes fell on the golden skinned elf who fought beside her.

Zevran had tried to talk to her several times after they had escaped the Fade, yet Riel always shut him down. She avoided him completely in fact, and when they fought, there was a certain ferociousness that eclipsed the Warden that wasn't there before. A desperate hatred that she swung her blades out with. And with each demon that she killed, Riel felt a piece of herself die as well.

"There you are! We were worried! Yet when we crossed earlier to check on you, the Knight Commander refused to let us through the doors!"

It was Leliana speaking. Riel could tell by the sweet lift of her voice as she spoke. Almost like a song, each word she said carried a beautiful resonance to it that seemed to touch all that heard her. However, too many images cascaded in front of Riel's mind eye for her to notice much else at the moment.

Images that haunted her whether she closed her eyes tight against them, or just left them open, unseeing of everything but the nightmare in her mind.

"Riel? Riel, what's wrong?"

" _Mi-_ "

"Don't," Riel cut off Zevran before he uttered the words that she couldn't bear to hear. Not now. Slowly Riel stood up from the boat and looked at the two women gathered by the shore to meet them. "This is Wynne. We met her in the tower. She is going to come with us." Three statements, each equally as flat and emotionless as the other. And each completely irrelevant to the shattering pain within her chest.

"Leliana, I presume you rented us rooms for the night?" Zevran asked, his voice heavy with sadness.

"What? Oh yes. The same as before. Only I guess this time me and Morrigan will take the one with three beds so Wynne can stay with us. Alistair and Sten can use the one Morrigan and I took last time."

Riel barely heard the bard talking, her mind too focused on her inner thoughts. She just nodded her head and walked slowly to the Inn a short distance away. Leliana watched her go, confusion and worry filling her expression. She knew something really horrible must have happened while her friend was gone. Never in all the months had Leliana known the female Warden had she ever seen the woman look so completely devastated. So utterly dead inside.

"Zevran what happened?" she asked quickly, yet all she got back was silence from the man. Zevran tried to open his mouth to speak, but the words to outline his shame and disgrace eluded him. Instead he just sadly shook his head and started after Riel. However, Leliana took hold of his arm and pulled him back. " **Tell**  me! Something happened in that tower, and it has  _destroyed_  her! I have never seen her like this!"

"Demons, child."

Leliana looked up to see the older woman, Wynne, standing next to her, a deep frown on her lips.

"I don't understand. We've fought demons before. But she has  _never_  acted like this afterward."

"We have never fought them in the Fade before. And  _never_  with a demon of nightmares and dreams," Zevran finally said, his voice barely audible.

"The demon took hold of our minds, tormenting us first with our worst nightmares. If that failed, we were given a dream of happiness to make us complacent, before we were given another nightmare," Wynne explained. "Riel somehow managed to free herself from the cycle and came in search of us." Wynne smiled sadly before she continued. "It is because of Riel that we survived. Yet I am afraid in so doing, she may have…"

"What? What happened?"

"Sometimes our worst nightmares are not our own. But those of others who we care about," Wynne replied cryptically before walking away.

"I-" Leliana began to stay before Zevran interrupted her.

"She is hurting,  _mi amiga_. And I am the cause of it."

"Then  **help**  her, Zevran. Because  _that_  is not the look of a woman who wants to live anymore!" Leliana hissed, pointing towards the Inn where Riel went. At the fearful look in Zevran eyes, Leliana bit back her anger and stared hard at the elf. "Whatever happened, it can be undone. But  _ **please**_  don't give up her, Zevran."

"Never,  _mi amiga_."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Riel walked through the door to the Inn and looked around. It was crowded for once inside, the bunch of sailors that had brought them here on their boat sitting noisily at their tables drinking. They had been paid to take Riel and her group to the Circle Tower dock as soon as they could, and in so doing Riel and her group had managed to actually cut some time off their travel.

One of the men at the table laughed loudly, drawing Riel's attention. However, this was not one of the men that she recognized from before. Probably another sailor from somewhere else, Riel thought as she slowly made her way past the tables.

"Hey listen here fellas! That's  _her_!" one of the men said.

"No shit? That's the one that helped you louts down in the Redcliff?" replied another man near him. Riel tried to ignore their stares as she walked by.

"Hey miss! Miss! Uhh…. R-.. Riel! Yeah, 'at's it! Hey Riel!" the first man barked at her, obviously drunk already. Riel stopped her slow progression and forced another smile to her face. She would need to be nice if they were going to take them all back to Redcliff in the morning.

"Good evening," she forced herself to say before turning to leave.

"Wait! I wanne introduce ya to my mates! 'Er'e comin' in from Denerim, off ta ol' Orzammar. When I told 'em 'at I was travlin' wit a real Grey Warden, they didn't believ' it!"

"Oi! She  **is**  one of 'em knifey ears, too!"

Riel felt herself cringe at the use of the derogatory word for her people.

"Eh Matty! Min' yer manners, eh? Ya soddin' shit, 'ats a Warden!" one of the crew men Riel recognized bellowed, causing more heads to turn inside the tavern.

_Great. Say it louder, why don't you boys? I don't think Loghain heard you in Denerim yet._

Riel found it hard to keep her fake smile on her lips, wanting desperately just to get away somewhere private where she didn't have to pretend anymore. Even among her companions, she had to pretend to be someone that she wasn't was. Calm, strong, intelligent, capable. Able to lead. When all she wanted was go crawl into a corner somewhere and cry until all the pain in her chest was gone. Although Riel doubted that it ever would. She had been praying to the Creators to take away the pain from her chest since she found Zevran in Fade. Yet the deep hole in chest remained.

"Did someone say she was a Warden? Didn't Loghain put out a bounty on Wardens?" a man from the far corner called out. "Hey fellas," he motioned to the men around him, "we gots ourselves an actual Grey Warden here!" The man than stood, the chair he was on screeching along the old wooden floor as he pushed it back. Standing almost as tall as Sten, the man was considerably heavier, not trained for battle as the Qunari was but for lounging around in bars on stools while he slammed back ales.

"You do  **not**  want to start anything with me. Just walk away, and you might actually wake to see the morning," Riel threatened coolly, staring up at the man that easily towered over her by a good two feet. However, his height didn't intimidate her in the least. Not after what she had just been through. Not after fighting ogres and abominations and demons, all of which were either just as tall or taller than the drunkard before her.

"Oh, and she has a temper on her too, lads!" the man laughed heartedly. "You know, if it's one thing I miss about Denerim, it's those knife eared bitches there. Hanging 'round Orzammar, you barely see anything but those dwarf she-males," the man stated as he eyed Riel up and down. "It's been awhile since I got a nice knifey in the sack!"

"Oh, you want a  _knifey_ , do you?" Riel smirked evilly, her fingers twitching for her blades.

"How about it, love? You come with me back to my room and I forget I ever heard you're one of those blasted Wardens?"

"Riel?" Zevran called out from behind her. Yet Riel didn't turn around. Too many dark emotions swirled inside of her, all vying for control over her actions.

Pain, sorrow, regret, fear, shame…. Those were the weak ones. The ones that crippled her and wanted to send her running back to her room to cry. They never helped her when she was in need. No, the emotions that saved her were always far stronger than those.

Hatred. Anger. Distrust. Fury. Those are the ones that rescued her. The ones that saved her. When she was trapped by her masters, it was the anger and hatred of them that finally caused Riel's powers to explode and set the house on fire, granting her escape. When she was with Tamlen in those old ruins, it was her anger at seeing Tamlen die that saved her from those demons. And it was her hatred that saved her from those demons and blood mages that had taken over the Circle Tower. She didn't save the First Enchanter because he needed  _help_. All Riel saw when she entered the top floor of the tower was another blood mage. Another abomination. Something else for her to hurt and take her anger out on. Something to  _kill_.

"You there! Get away from her!" Riel heard Zevran curse out from somewhere behind her.

"Wait your turn! Me and this knifey bitch are going to have a bit of fun tonight. Don't worry, you'll get her back in one piece," the man laughed. "Mostly."

The man than grabbed Riel around the waist and pulled her up against his sweaty chest.

And that was when Riel snapped.

Nothing made sense, the scenes in front of her turning into a blur of motion. A cacophony of noise roaring in Riel's ears, yet it all sounded the same. Screams, cries for help, and the gurgling of blood. All twisting into a single sound that filled her head so that nothing else could be heard.

Only when silence finally broke through the chaos did Riel come back to herself.

She was standing, that much she was sure of. Around her was blood. A  _lot_  of it. And bodies.  _Lots_  of bodies. Actually, it would be accurate to say body  _parts_. And in amongst it all, there was Zevran, standing beside her, with his hands on her shoulders.

"Riel! Riel! Answer me,  _please_!" he begged her. Perhaps that was what brought Riel's eyes up from the carnage at her feet to meet his own.

"Z-Zevran?" her voice quivered, shock still flowing through her.

"It's okay,  _mi_ \- I mean, Riel. You are safe."

"Zevran, take her out of here. Now, before the Templars come." A woman's voice, familiar yet one she wasn't well accustomed to yet.

"Right," Zevran nodded before taking Riel gently by the arm and leading her past the others who had gathered around her. Faces Riel could recognize, yet for some reason her mind refused to work well enough to tell her who they were. "And Wynne…" Zevran began, pausing just before taking Riel through the door.

"I know, child. Morrigan and I will make sure that the only mages that they know about are us."

"Thank you," he whispered, offering a quick bow.

"Just take care of her," Leliana added.

"On my life, I swear it."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Riel was aware of the cool night air on her skin, and that she was moving somewhere. Yet even though her feet obeyed the lead of the elf beside her, she had no clue or even really an interest in where she was going. Everything seemed so distant, like the whole world was going by at a different speed than she was. Eventually Riel could make out the gentle lap of waves against the shore, the rhythmic beating seeming to mimic the beating in her chest.

Gently he was led to sit down on the ground, yet for all desire she had for her own motions, she might as well had been nothing more than a child's doll. The cool air on her skin and the soft beating of the waves were the only sensations that seemed to break through the complete numbness that she now felt herself in.

Riel didn't know how long she sat there, but eventually she felt the warmth of hands upon her skin. She jumped defensively, yet immediately came the soft sounds of an Antivan accent, whispering gently to her words that still seemed fuzzy and beyond her grasp. Something was asked her, Riel could tell. Something important, and out of the instinct of safety she felt when she heard the voice who now spoke to her, she agreed.

There was a shuffle of movement, and then came another familiar and calming feel. The presence of a warm body sliding behind her own. Unlike others bodies, this one was familiar, the scent and feel of it as natural to her as her own heart beat. Instantly Riel felt herself relax against the body behind her. Her heartbeat finding a calming rhythm that matched the one she felt next to her.

More Antivan now. More sweet words that she didn't understand yet felt more real to her than anything else in the world. The body behind her acting as an anchor, pulling her through the storm of her mind and back to reality. Back to  _him_.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Zevran was beside himself with worry. Never had he seen anything like what happened in the Inn, and he bet neither had most anyone else. Except perhaps Morrigan and Wynne, that is. However, magic was their domain, certainly  _not_  his. Even his years as Crow could not have prepared Zevran for the carnage that he witnessed. And all because of his Riel.

When that brute had grabbed her, Zevran had rushed over, intending to save her. Yet he clearly needn't have bothered. A fissure of magic crackled an instant before a maelstrom erupted from with Riel, causing the very air around her to sharpen like knives. It slashed at the man who had grabbed at her, slicing first his arms clean off into pieces, then it ripped the rest of him apart. When his fellows rushed towards Riel to stop her, the bladed air rushed out to do the same to them.

Either through bravery or stupidity, Zevran rushed forward and took Riel by the shoulders, half expecting the same result to happen to him as well. Yet when his hands touched her, the blades disappeared, the air becoming calm again. Zevran called out to Riel, yet she was then as she was now, all but catatonic. Completely withdrawn into herself.

Unfortunately, he wasn't the only one to see what had happened. Every one of their companions had witnessed her release of energy, not to mention the bar man and the other patrons who had been in the bar at the time. Zevran only hoped the others would be able to convince those who witnessed what happened to either change their minds about what they saw, or to not speak period.

Afterall, Zevran had made an oath to protect his Warden from anyone wishing to do her harm or try to use her secret against her. And he would fulfill that oath, even if it meant going back and killing every single one of those stinking sailors and Templars.

Or  _ **ex**_ -Templars, if need be,

Warden or not, Zevran wouldn't hesitate to kill that fool Alistair if he decided to let his previous training as a Templar overrule his better senses to keep Riel safe. However, as long as Riel kept from using magic close to any other Templar, she should be able to keep her secret safe. It was how she had done so thus far, anyway. According to Morrigan, Templars could only sense mages when they actively used their magic. A handy piece of information to have when you are living as an apostate amongst people who wouldn't hesitate to throw every mage they found into a Circle.

Right now though, his priority was Riel. As it always was. If people proved themselves troublesome later, he would deal them once he knew that she was recovered. Until then, he would stay and guard her. Protect her as he should have done not just at the Inn, but during what happened in the Fade as well.

 _By the gods_  Zevran sighed.  _The Fade_.

A part of him still wanted to believe it was just a terrible nightmare. Which it  _was_ , but not just his. No, for some reason his nightmare had to be witnessed by the one person he would gladly slit his own throat to protect. Zevran could only imagine the terrible things that his Riel had suffered through in her own nightmare realm, only then having to go on and defeat those demons guarding each damned level. But to witness what she did when she found him….

If only she had just witnessed his previous battle against the nightmare demon. Instead of what she walked in on, it would have been his training when he was being tested on becoming a Crow. True torture was bad. Yet Zevran doubted it would have had the same effect on her. What's a bit of flogging and a torture rack compared to…..

 _Gods_  just thinking about it brought bile up to his throat. What happened was so suited to torment the both of them, Zevran wondered if the nightmare demon hadn't set that up on purpose. Knowing that Riel was releasing his victims, he set one last trap to keep them all within his realm to feed from.

And now here he was, sitting just a foot away from his Riel while he prayed over and over again to any gods that would listen to please bring her back to him. He dared not get any closer to her. Not with his shame and disgrace weighing so heavily upon him. He will fight to protect her, as he always did. His right to hold her was lost in the tears she cried when she saw those  _things_  touch him, however. His right to comfort her lost when he couldn't stop them from hurting her. Zevran felt beyond dirty, far too sullied by demonic hands to even be in her presence. Yet he refused to leave her alone. She deserved far better than him. However right now, he was all she had. So he would protect her as he should have done. And pray that maybe one day she would find it within her heart to forgive him, even if Zevran knew that he didn't deserve it.

"Zevran…?"

Zevran whipped his head around, his hand on the blade that was laid next to him as he searched the surrounding darkness for the voice that called out to him. A moment later, he caught the top of braided red hair peek around the small hill that separated where they were and the Inn beyond.

"I will be right back, Riel. I will not be far," Zevran whispered softly into her ear, still unsure if she heard him or not. Carefully he stood up and gave one last check at the small traps he had set up to make sure they were still in place. They wouldn't stop anyone from sneaking up on them, but they would certainly alert him to anyone who tried.

"There you are," Leliana whispered when she saw Zevran approach. A silent minute passed between them before Leliana finally got up the courage to speak. "Is she alright?" she asked, the worry in her voice obvious. And so was the look of pain on Zevran's face when he looked at her.

"In truth, I do not know. She is completely unresponsive. She has not spoken, and seems to not even see or hear that which is around her."

"Give her time, Zevran. Wynne has told me some of what happened at the Circle, but not any real details. I am sure she-"

"The demon showed her the very worst, Leliana," Zevran said quickly.

"From her past?"

"Most assuredly. However, even those horrors as wretched as they may be, are not what I believed finally broke her…. The demon, it must have known that Riel was freeing us from its grip. So when she came upon me, it was…"

"What happened? Talk to me, Zevran!"

Zevran took a sad look at the sole figure still sitting by the shore line and sighed before facing the bard again. "She saw me…. with others."

Leliana gasped, her hand coming up to mouth to cover the sound. "What do you mean,  _others_? Just what did she see?"

"Everything…. Demon temptresses, over top of me..." he replied shamefully, a sob threatening to break free.

"Zevran, how could you?!"

"No! It is not like that! Believe me, Leliana! I didn't want it! Yet I was… tied down… they climbed over me…" Zevran shuddered, still suffering from his own effects the nightmare demon had on him. To be taken by passion was one thing. To be taken against your will….

When Zevran awoke to find himself tied down to the bed and the woman above him, his heart lurched in his chest. Maybe at sometime in his past, he would have considered that a happy dream. Yet the only thing in his mind as they touched and groped at his naked body was Riel. He wanted no other but her, yet men's bodies were traitorous when given the right stimuli. Even when the mind rebelled, the body would respond if done so correctly. That was yet another thing that Zevran had learned from his time in the Crows.

And so while Zevran's mind revolted against what the demon temptresses were doing, he could do nothing to stop them. He had tried fighting against the bonds. Gods did he try. Yet when they refused to break, Zevran resigned himself to simply withstanding the torture until the demons got bored and tried something else. It was what he was trained to do.

Yet all that shattered when he saw Riel standing there.

At first Zevran had thought that it was just another trick of the demon. Another level of the torture set before him. Yet something inside of him told Zevran that her standing there was no illusion, even though he prayed that it was.  _Begged_  to the gods that his Riel wasn't actually standing there, witnesses his disgrace. That's when the  **true**  torture had begun for him. That is what finally had broken him. To see her pain and the look of betrayal in her eyes as those  _things_  touch him. It still made Zevran's skin crawl, his stomach lurching to empty itself.

And when he was suddenly pulled away before he was able to explain himself…. to comfort her, and tell her that what she saw was  _ **not**_  what he wanted…..

Zevran couldn't help but feel that even though the nightmare demon died by their combined hands, it had still won. It had succeeded in breaking their leader, perhaps to a point beyond that which could be undone. By the gods, Zevran hoped not. Still, hope was a precious resource that he beginning to lack as time went on and Riel still remained so unresponsive.

"Oh Zevran, I am so very sorry!" Leliana exclaimed quietly. She tried to reach for him to offer a hug, yet the memory of foreign hands touching him still made Zevran's skin crawl. In truth, the only one whose touch he wanted was Riel's. Anything else still felt too much like a violation. He felt dirty enough as it was, without adding even further to his shame.

"Please, Leliana… No…" he said softly, stepping back slightly and raising his hands in protest.

"Of course, forgive me," Leliana apologized quickly. Another long moment of silence passed before Leliana finally remembered why she had sought them out. "I have some things for you," Leliana looked down at the large sacks by her feet. "A tent, a couple bedrolls and a blanket. Also some cooking supplies and food. I wasn't sure what you needed or…."

"It's wonderful, thank you Leliana," smiled Zevran. "What of those at the Inn?"

"Not many were actually sober enough to remember anything clearly come morning. Just the bar keep and the waitress. And they remembered what we did for them last time we were here with the cultists. They promised to keep their mouths shut as long as Riel didn't come back to the Inn."

"And the Templars? The Inn is in their jurisdiction. They must wonder what happened to those men."

"Wynne told them to the truth. A group of men tried taking advantage of our  _very_  skilled elven leader, and combined with Wynne's magic, tore the bastards apart."

"Wynne's magic? I heard each mage carried a different magical signature? Surely Templars who spent so much time with the woman over the years would be able to tell that it wasn't her magic that lingered in the air."

"You would be correct,  _if_  Wynne hadn't cast some cleansing spells in the Inn after you left. To banish evil spirits that would be drawn to the blood, of course," Leliana winked.

"Of course," Zevran smiled softly. "So the only magic the Templars would sense would be her own."

"Exactly. As for where you two went, it was enough to convince them that after such a traumatic event that Riel would need some space. We told the Templars that you took her to another campsite we had set up - in the opposite direction of here I might add - so she could relax and regain herself."

"You are indeed an absolutely amazing  _amiga_  to Riel, Leliana."

"To you as well, Zevran," she replied with a small smile. "Do you know what your plans are?" she asked after a moment.

"No," Zevran sighed. "The way she is now, I fear taking her to Redcliff. Dealing with another demon so soon after all this…"

"Think nothing of it. We already discussed it back at the Inn, and we all agree. We are going to travel with the mages from the Circle when they head south. Jowen's plan shouldn't need anything more of Riel, and if anyone asks, we'll just say that she got called away on Warden business." Zevran raised an eyebrow at that. "Secret, private Warden's business that she needed to do immediately but would only take a few days," Leliana laughed.

"You think Teagan will buy that?"

"How can he not? Morrigan threatened to turn Alistair into a toad if he didn't back up the story."

That caused Zevran to chuckle slightly despite the horrid mood he was in. "And what of Eamon? If you are able to save the boy, what do you plan on doing with Eamon?" Zevran asked after he sobered.

"The Ashes. They will work."

"And you believe that, Leliana?"

"I have faith, Zevran. That is what matters. And when Eamon awakens, we tell him the same that we told Teagan. That the Lady Warden was called away, and that she would meet with him as soon as she was able."

"So we are to come to Redcliff then?"

"Actually, we were thinking Orzammar," she corrected.

"Why there?"

"Because it's not that far from here, and we still need their support against the Blight. Besides, that will give you some extra time alone with Riel. And I think the two of you need it."

" _Woof_!"

"Well, look who followed me from the Inn," Leliana smiled down at the hound. "Did you worry about your mistress too?"

" _Woof_!" Fen'harel wagged his tag before looking around the two of them and towards Riel, whining curiously.

"She is fine for now. However, I would appreciate it if you would help scout the area. I need to stay close to her in case she needs anything. Would you be so kind as to help myself and your mistress?" Zevran asked the mabari.

" _Woof!_ " the dog agreed before sniffing the air and trotting off.

"I placed some traps not too far from where she is, be careful you do not step in them." Again the hound barked softly before continuing on its patrol. "That is one smart hound," Zevran sighed as he watched it.

"Now I should be getting back, and you should probably check on Riel," replied Leliana, a worried look back on her face. "Watch her carefully, Zevran. She may be strong, but sometimes the strongest things are also the most brittle. One wrong strike and they break completely."

"You do not have to worry,  _mi amiga_. I will  **not**  fail her again. You have my word," Zevran stated, placing his hand over his heart and bowing slightly.

"If all goes well, we should be able to meet you at Orzammar in about two weeks, which should give you at least a week with her here," Leliana paused awkwardly, before quickly smiling and continuing on. "Take of not just her, but yourself too, Zevran." She then turned and silently melded back into the shadows that she had come, leaving behind the supplies that she had brought.

Sighing, Zevran again sent a word to the gods to help him with his Riel. Grateful for the time alone with her, Zevran still wondered what it would take to break whatever catatonic hold that now claimed her. And if she would still accept him when she was free of it.


	19. Vhenan'ara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> This chapter is *incredibly* long, but it well worth it! Rated Mature (18+) for adult themes and sexuality. Also, mild trauma warning **TRIGGER** in the beginning.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mi diosa: Antivan. "My goddess."
> 
> Aravals: Elven landships. Used for sleeping and storing their belongings.
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Indescriptiblemente hermosa: Antivan. "Indescribably beautiful."
> 
> Mierdas: Antivan. "Shit." A common swear word.
> 
> Ar lath ma, ma vhenan'ara: Elvhen. "I love you, my heart's desire."

After Leliana had left, Zevran made quick work of setting up the tent that she had given them, as well as starting a small fire near to where Riel still sat. And in all that time, she still never moved, even when Zevran wrapped a blanket around her shoulders to help keep her warm. Fen'harel had already came back to the small camp and now laid lazily by the fire, his breathing even as he watched his mistress several feet away.

Even though Zevran would have wanted to be alone with Riel while he tended to her, he was still thankful for the hound's presence. Unlike their other companions, Zevran knew there was no ulterior motives or designs behind why the hound served and followed Riel. Like himself, Fen'harel followed purely out of devotion and love, not because of obligation or an on coming Blight.

Perhaps that is why the two of them got along so well, despite the tales that said a mabari only truly listened to their chosen master or mistress. When it came to these intelligent, powerful canines, the dog picked the owner, not the other way around. And the bond was for life. A mabari was bred to be willing to follow his master through anything, even battle, without a second thought.

Just as Zevran would do for his Riel.

"Riel, I am back," Zevran crooned as he sat next to her. Yet still she stared unseeing ahead of her. Sighing, Zevran placed a light hand on her arm, hoping that his touch may help bring her back. Yet when he touched her, Riel jumped back, startled by the contact. "Shhh... It is only I, Zevran… Riel… I…" Zevran didn't know what to say to her. What words to apologize or beg to even begin to make things right between them. "May I…" Zevran paused doubting his own voice. "May I still hold you?" he asked tentatively, unsure if she would want him after everything that had happened.

She was quiet for a breath, yet there was a slight nod of her head that Zevran was sure to have missed if he wasn't studying her so closely. Breathing a sigh of relief, Zevran carefully positioned himself behind Riel, setting his daggers on the ground within reach in case he needed them.

Before when he held her like this, Zevran would lightly wrap his arms around her, holding her to him. He would also caress her bare arms, and kiss her cheek or temple as they talked or laughed. Now however, Zevran took nothing for granted. Not even his own breathing, as he was even careful not lay breath on her skin in case it triggered a memory that frightened her.

Gods, how he hated himself in that very moment. Not just for what happened in the Fade, but also his lack of knowledge in knowing to help her. So he did what he always did when he tried to comfort his Warden yet didn't know how. He spoke to her of his time in Antiva. Alternating between both Antivan and the King's Tongue, Zevran spoke of some of his adventures and his more entertaining missions. Nothing too dark or  _private_ …. Just light stories that might have made her laugh if the situation were anything different than it was.

And between all that, Zevran spoke to Riel of his love for her. Of how she was a goddess to him, and that no matter what any demon or mortal said or did, nothing would ever change that. He told her of how beautiful she was to him, even in the midst of battle or when she was angry at him. And how he would sometimes lie awake at night watching her sleep, making sure that she was safe even in her dreams.

It was when Zevran mentioned her dreams that he felt a slight touch against his hand. Looking down to his leg where his hand lay, Zevran couldn't resist smiling as he saw that Riel had placed her hand into his own. It the first real movement that she had made in hours, and the small gesture filled Zevran with his first real hope that maybe she was finally coming back to him.

Gently he caressed her fingers with his own as he continued to speak to her, telling her of one of the few memories he had of when he was a child. Zevran used careful words as he spoke of his mother, hoping that the memory would somehow ease her. He told her how his mother was Dalish and that fell in love with a city elf who later died, leaving her and Zevran alone in Antiva city. Yet despite that and the life his mother had lived to provide for them, he was happy with her. And that the small amount of time that he had spent with her were the best memories that Zevran had.

Until he had met Riel, that is.

Zevran went on to explain that by her side, he had found a new purpose in life. A new and better form of happiness and completion than he ever thought possible. And that no matter what his past was or what it contained, it wasn't until he found Riel that his life truly began. With her in his arms, nothing of his previous life mattered, and he wouldn't change that for anything.  _She_  was what mattered to him now. And nothing was ever going to change that.

"Why did you come to Ferelden?"

The question came during one of the quiet moments where Zevran prayed and hoped for guidance. It was the first words that Riel had spoken since what had happened at the Inn, and again hope fluttered in Zevran's chest despite the hoarse whisper in which she spoke. However, the question also brought back painful memories for him of why he left Antiva and took on the near suicidal mission of hunting one of the infamous Grey Wardens.

"As you know-" Zevran began, being careful as he chose to words. "I was hired by Loghain to hunt down any surviving Grey Wardens who managed to escape Ostagar. The mission was laid out by the elders of the Crows, and the bidding for the mission began. I was the one who won." Zevran paused, hoping that she would say more. Yet when silence filled the space between them, he cleared his throat and continued. "Seeing as the mission was was declared a priority due to Loghain's status, I was told to leave immediately from Antiva city and travel south as quickly as possible."

"You could have died," Riel whispered, her eyes still locked on the lake beyond.

"Yes well…" Zevran paused, unsure of what to say. Yet with everything that happened between them already, he didn't think it would help to keep anything from her. He needed her to trust him, and it would not serve his purpose to begin hiding things. Even if speaking of them to her was one of the last things he wanted to do. "In truth, Riel, a part of me wanted to die."

Hope again fluttered in Zevran's chest as he felt Riel's tiny hand squeeze his own, as if it were a silent protest against his words. Taking a breath, Zevran pulled together his lacking will to continue on with his story. However, the words that he wished to speak still clung to his throat, his fear at her reaction holding him back.

"Your final mission," she whispered again, as if she could read his very thoughts. "Before you came here. Tell me of it."

"Are you sure,  _mi_ \- I mean-" Zevran cursed to himself again, still trying to not use the words he used to call her out of respect for her hurt feelings.

"Yes," she breathed, still unmoving. "And please... don't stop…saying... " she shuddered then, a brief release of the pent up emotions that swirled inside of her.

"I could never deny you,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran quietly said to her, a sad smile on his face.

Taking a chance, Zevran placed his free hand lightly around Riel's midsection, holding her gently. When he then heard her sigh softly and lean back against him, Zevran's last bit of reluctance broke and the story he always dreaded finally came pouring forth.

"Things are different within the Crows. Weaknesses were shunned and used against us, so we learned to never take anything seriously. Even our own feelings. We took pleasure and happiness where we could, never growing attached to anything or any _one_. However, perhaps I wasn't always the best at that," he stated with sad chuckle. Taking a deep breath, he braced himself for the next words to come. "There was a woman who I had grown  _attached_  to." Zevran cursed when he felt Riel slightly tense, yet he hurried on with his tale, knowing that it would get no easier. "She was a fellow Crow, and was beautiful and very deadly. At first it was just something fun, something to ease the stress or to relax. However, eventually, I-" Zevran stopped, not knowing if he could continue.

"You loved her." It was a simple statement. Not even a question, just a statement of fact. Yet hearing the words from Riel's mouth crushed him.

"I thought that I did. Although we both hid it from the others. We knew that any one of our fellow Crows would not hesitate to use us against each other. So we were careful. Or so, we had thought."

"What happened?"

"We were in a border city, sent there on a mission to kill a wealthy noble to make way for a scheming relative. Three of us were sent in due to the security and difficulty in actually getting to the target. Myself, a Crow by the name of Taliesin, and…. Rinna."

Zevran was went quiet for a moment as he remembered that awful day over a year ago. This was something that he had never wanted to talk about, and thought that he would never would. Yet as he already told to Riel, he couldn't deny her when she asked it of him.

"During the mission, Taliesin approached me quietly, telling me that he had proof that Rinna had betrayed us to the noble who we were sent after. Payed enough coin to be able to disappear from the Crows forever, she would give both myself and Taliesin over to the noble and then escape with her coin. The Crows would be told all three of us were killed, and she would be free."

"You believed him." Again, not a question. A statement of fact, as if she knew his very words before he spoke them.

"Yes, I did…" sighed Zevran in regret. "Taliesin was so convinced of her treachery, and I knew of how badly Rinna had wanted away from the Crows. She would tell me sometimes of how she wished she could just fake her death and disappear, leaving behind everything. And as far as I knew, I was the only one who knew of her secret desire to leave. So when Taliesin told me of what he knew, everything fit into place. I grew angry, and let that anger and hurt control my better senses. Even when I later confronted her over what Taliesin had said, all I felt was anger over her betrayal."

"Did she admit to it?"

"No. She denied everything. She claimed Taliesin was lying or was being set up to make her look bad. And yet, I couldn't let go of my anger. That she would take a bribe to not only just kill Taliesin, but myself, after everything that happened between us…."

"What did you do?"

"I-..." Zevran paused, the words getting lodged in his throat. However, he felt the slight squeeze of Riel's hand in his own and somehow found the courage utter the words he dreaded. "I killed her." There. It was said. Yet Zevran felt no better for saying it. In fact, he felt so very much worse. Of all the things that Riel knew or even suspected about him, to kill someone that you claimed to love… That was something else. He only hoped that she wouldn't now hate him. Or worse, fear him.

"And the mission?" she asked, seemingly unfazed by his revelation. Zevran wasn't sure to take that as a good thing, or a bad one.

"Taliesin and I completed it and returned to the Crows. We told them of Rinna's attempt at betrayal and how I killed her for it. Yet there was no surprise from them about it, and no questions in my actions to Rinna. I learned a bit later that it had all been a set up. The one that had actually betrayed Rinna and I was Taliesin. And the elders had known everything about it. They had in fact learned of our growing affections for each other, and decided to use us as an example to the other Crows. To declare that all of us - even myself, trained personally by one of the masters of our order - were expendable."

"I am so sorry Zevran…" Riel softly cried, turning herself around to embrace him. Zevran felt her tears against his neck, and suddenly found himself crying as well. He hadn't cried since he was a child, as it was another weakness amongst the Crows. Even after learning the truth about Rinna, Zevran pushed aside his inner turmoil and instead drowned himself in drink and women until he had heard of the mission here in Ferelden.

"Before I met you, I wanted to die. So when I learned of a contract to kill any surviving Grey Wardens, I laid down every coin I could spare to buy the rights to it." Zevran gently pulled Riel's face up to meet his, not bothering to hide his tears from her. "Before you, I  _was_  dead. My life did not matter. Who I was did not matter. Only with you have I found a true purpose."

"And what is your purpose?"

"To love you -  _ **only**_  you - and to keep you safe for as long as I draw breath." Zevran paused while he looked deeply into her silver eyes. "I love you,  _mi bella_. You have taught me the true meaning of the word. And I would gladly die at your feet if it would ease your life. Anything that I may have felt for  _anyone_ , is nothing but a pale spark compared to the roaring flames of love and devotion that I feel for you."

"Oh Zevran... I love you, too!" Riel exclaimed, her eyes filling with fresh tears.

Zevran's mind whirled, unbelieving at first what she said. Although he had always hoped, never had he thought she could ever love him. Not with who he was. Not with what he had done in his past. And especially not now after he told her about what happened with Rinna. Yet his disbelief was quickly overridden with an immense joy, overshadowing every other thought and negative emotion inside of him.

 _She actually_ _ **loved**_   _him!_

"Are- are you sure... ? I do not wish to rush you.."

"I think that I have loved you for a long time. I was just too scared to admit it…" she revealed, a shy smile upon her lips.

" _Mi bella_ , never be afraid to tell me anything. Above all else, you are safe with me. By the Gods above, your happiness is all that ever matters to me."

"Kiss me Zevran, please," Riel begged, her hand moving to rest upon his cheek.

Zevran smiled, reveling in her touch. "As I said,  _mi bella_ , I will  **never**  deny you," he purred before lowering his lips down to meet hers.

The soft touch lips grew more desperate, more needful. They hadn't kissed like this since that first night when she had again asked him to kiss her. Her soft voice pleading, pulling on every male instinct that he had. To provide for her. To care for her. To serve her with everything that he had.

The few times they had kissed since then were more chaste, and always initiated by her. Despite his need to feel her against him, Zevran would sooner bleed himself dry than force her to do anything that she wasn't comfortable with. Riel's kisses were always soft, more tentative than passionate, yet Zevran relished them. Each one being little bridges being built between them, fortifying her trust in him. And her confidence in herself, as well.

There was nothing tentative in the kiss that they shared now, however. It was passion, and desire, and a need to express that which words never could. And as Zevran cradled Riel in his arms, his heart felt as if it grew wings and was flying. Not only did his Riel come back to him, but she  _loved_  him. Even after everything. After his blunders and the Fade, and the demons and her fears and his horrible revelation.

She loved him.

If there was ever a reason to believe in a god, that was it. For to have her love was surely the greatest divine gift ever given.

When the need for air broke through, Zevran laid his forehead against her own while he looked down into her eyes. That spark of life that had first drawn him to her was now back where it had always been. A smile on her lips, she returned his look of love and devotion with her own. And didn't that just make his heart take wing once more.

However, as he stared into her eyes, lost for the words he wished he could express to her, a familiar darkness crept into her expression. Zevran could feel her slight shift of emotion, her body tightening against itself as if she were thinking of something unpleasant.

"About the Fade…"

"Riel there is not enough time in all of existence for me to properly apologize for what you saw. Please believe me now when I say to you that at no time did I  **ever**  want that. What those…  _things_ … did was-"

"I know, Zevran," Riel interrupted, placing her fingers lightly across his lips. "That isn't what I wanted to say." Riel sighed, a look of shame in her eyes. "When I was in there… When I first woke up inside that demon's nightmare… I was… I was in…" Riel stopped, a sob in her throat as tears fell down her cheeks.

"Shh,  _mi bella_ … You do not need to say anything," crooned Zevran, wiping away her tears.

"I  _need_  to say this, though…" Riel reaffirmed, both to Zevran and to herself. Taking another breath for strength, she let her mind wander back to her past. "I don't know who my real parents are. The humans who held me were the only people that I remember ever knowing. There were two of them… Two  _men_..."

 _By the gods…_ Zevran cursed, his anger rising.

"Everyday they would come to me. Sometimes themselves… or…" a sob broke past Riel's lips, stopping her words.

"Please,  _mi bella_ …" Zevran whispered, his heart breaking for her. Still she continued, however.

"Others would pay them to… to do  _things_ … Or it would be just them. Sometimes they just wanted to hurt me. Those times were better," she stated absently, either ignoring or not noticing the anger that boiled off Zevran at her words. "Sometimes I would fight back. Once I even broke Sam's nose." Riel remembered with an angry yet satisfied smile. "He was  _ **so**_  angry at me. Yet I never regretted it. Even after he whipped me."

Zevran's arms squeezed around her tighter, his anger near volcanic levels. Suddenly Zevran tasted blood in his mouth and realized that he had bit his lips trying to keep himself calm. A feral part of him wished that it was the blood of this Sam that he tasted instead. What he wouldn't give to be able to hunt down the bastards who hurt his Riel and make them pay a thousand fold over what they did to her.

"One day," Riel continued, calling his attention back to her words despite how badly he couldn't bear to hear anymore. Yet he let her continue, knowing that this was something that she needed. Even though it tore it out his heart to hear each word she described. "I tried to escape. I had overheard Rich saying that he was thinking of selling me to some Tevinter magister the day before, and as much as they terrified and hurt me, I feared even more what would happen to me in Tevinter. I didn't know much about magisters, only that they were mages and incredibly cruel to their slaves. One of the people who paid to…  _see_  me... was a mage from Tevinter," Riel stopped, remembering. "He was even crueler than Rich was sometimes."

Zevran could barely control his anger, his body beginning to shake from the effort of it. Of all the horrid things that he imagined her to have gone through in her life, he raged at how so much worse reality was compared to his naive fears. Even Crows were not treated so badly, even when they were trained to resist torture and pain. To hear her describe what she experienced so young in her life, it was all Zevran could do to keep still.

"I was so afraid they would find magic in me. I had hid it so well with my old master's, thinking they would kill me if they knew. But to be at the mercy of another mage who knew how to work magic in horrible ways…." Riel stopped to wipe at the tears that ran down her cheeks, and Zevran hated himself even more for being so lost in his own anger to not notice them in time to wipe them himself. "I decided then and there that death was better than anything that waited for me in Tevinter. So the next time they came to me…"

"What did you do?" Zevran finally uttered, his grief weighing his words. Yet he still felt as if he should say something.

"I  _ **burned**_  him," replied Riel viciously. "He was on top of me,  _touching_  me. And suddenly, it was there. A wave of fire came forth from my skin, covering him completely. The fire was everywhere, not just my hands either. Every part of me was on fire, yet it didn't hurt me. It  _comforted_  me. And when Sam collapsed on the floor covered in fire, I  _ **ran**_. And while I ran, I grabbed at various things, setting them on fire as well. Soon the whole house was on fire. Yet I escaped. I escaped from the burning house and I didn't look back. I just kept running. I ran and ran until the fields ended and I was surrounded by tall trees. And when I finally couldn't run anymore, I collapsed, naked and bleeding from the branches and thorns of things that grabbed at me as I passed them."

"And that is when the Dalish found you?" Zevran asked, remembering the one other time that she had ever really brought her past. All she would say was that a Dalish clan had found her one day, and they brought her back to the clan immediately. Riel had explained that had stayed with them for a little while until the Grey Warden Duncan came and took her to Ostagar to join his order.

Riel nodded sadly. "The Keeper was always very kind to me. Even after how much trouble I caused."

"You would never cause trouble,  _mi bella_ ," joked Zevran, needing to see her smile with a desperate need. And thank the gods, he was awarded, even if it was a small one.

"You didn't see the two young hunters I landed on a healer's bed," she replied with a slight laugh. "Keeper Marethari allowed me to stay with her in her araval, and telling the others that I just needed 'space' or some other old woman thing," she said with false bitterness through a smile. "That's not what I wanted to tell you though."

"I will always be here for you to say anything you wish,  _mi bella_. All I ask is that you only say what you are comfortable with saying."

"I know you're here for me. And that is what I wanted to tell you." Riel idly played with the corner of his leathers, keeping her eyes away from him. "When I was in Fade, I woke up in my old room. The one those men kept me in," her voice turned hard as she spoke. However, Riel took comfort in Zevran's tighter squeeze, and continued on. "I was so terrified, yet there was one thing that saved me." She smiled now, thinking. "Wynne said that I 'somehow' escaped the cycle of nightmares of that demon, and was able to save you all." Riel finally raised her eyes to meet his, warmth and love spilling forth from her gaze and taking his breath away. "It was  _you_ , Zevran. You saved me."

"I don't understand…-"

"Your voice. I heard it, telling me that you were with me and that I was never alone. That was how I broke free."

Zevran couldn't keep himself from bending down and taking her mouth. The swell of mixing emotions within him were threatening to overtake him. Fear, anger, sadness, joy, hope, love… Every emotion capable was suddenly invoked, and his only outlet was this one kiss. And he used it. The Gods damn him, he kissed her with every bit of passion that he had previously held back so carefully before.

And for every ounce that he gave to her, she returned in full measure.

Riel's hands laced through Zevran's hair, pulling him in closer to her as his hands fisted against her back. His tongue darted around her mouth, tasting and pulling on her, drawing out her passion even further. As well as his own.

Suddenly Zevran pulled away, fear and shame on his face. He was losing his control, and if he didn't force himself away now, he was going to do something that he would not only regret, but want to die because of. No matter how he felt, Zevran would rather die than  _ **ever**_  force her to do anything like what happened to her in the past.

"I'm not afraid, Zevran," Riel said softly, her fingers caressing his cheek. To prove her point, Riel pushed herself closer to him, bringing her hip in direct contact with the hard length that was pushing behind his trousers.

"Riel wait…!" Zevran cursed, damning his foul body and traitorous reactions. He tried to move her away, fearing her reaction, yet she resisted his attempts. Instead she took hold of his hands and wrapped his arms back around her.

"Zevran, it's okay," she whispered, trying to reassure him. "I  _told_  you. I'm not afraid. Not with you."

"Riel, you do not know what you ask of me. I…-" Zevran wracked his brain trying to find words to explain himself without either scaring or hurting her.

"Don't you want to be with me?" Riel asked, hurt flickering in her eyes.

"More than you can imagine,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran stated quickly, pulling her against him. "And that is what I fear most. I cannot do that to you. Not after everything you have been though."

Riel stayed quiet for a minute, her eyes searching Zevran's. There was love there. So much love that it made Riel's heart ache. There was also desire. And passion. And need. Yet it wasn't the type of corrupt, foul need and desire that those in her past had. The look in his eyes didn't make her stomach lurch or her blood run cold. In fact, it did the exact opposite.

Being there in his arms stirred something deep within Riel. Like a flame being given its first breath of air, it grew larger, warming her very being. And although there was some left over feelings of trepidation and anxiety, they were no match for the other growing feelings inside of her. Feelings she was learning to no longer be afraid of.

"I don't want to be afraid anymore, Zevran," Riel stated simply, looking into his eyes. "And I know you can teach me how not to be. I want  _this_."

Zevran felt his heart leap into his stomach at her words, feeling the weight of them break down what little resistance he had left. Smiling softly, he nodded to her, taking her hand in his and kissing the tips of her fingers. He then stood, pulling her up with him.

"What are you doing?" she asked, worry on her face.

"I told you before  _mi bella_  that anything worth doing is worth doing right," he paused as he pulled her against him, kissing her softly. "And with you,  _everything_  is worth doing." Smiling, Zevran walked her over to the tent that he had set up earlier. Reaching down to pet the hound that rested by the fire, he whispered to the hound "Stand guard for us boy. I am going to make your mistress  _very_  happy." The mabari answered in a low bark, seeming to understand and even wagging his tail in approval, causing Zevran to chuckle lightly.

Zevran let Riel enter the tent first, following closely behind. He then let the tent flap fall closed before gently guiding Riel down to the bedrolls. Gently he took her cheek in his hand and kissed her, again relishing the taste of her.

"We will go slowly. However, you must promise me,  _mi bella_ , that if at anytime you wish to stop, you will tell me immediately. I would rather die a thousand ways instead of hurt you, so you must promise me that you will do this if you need to."

Any doubt Riel may have had in her mind about what they were about to do vanished as he looked at her. True, she was nervous. And a little part of her was still afraid. However, she trusted him. And she knew that beyond anything else, she was safe with.

"I promise, Zevran," Riel responded, her voice husky with need.

Zevran smiled then kissed her again, resolving to take as much time as needed to be with her. And at any point would she wish to stop, he would do so, and instead just take pleasure in holding her for the rest of the night. She was his goddess. His  _diosa_. And he will spend the rest of his life worshipping her. Tonight… This was only the beginning. For then both of them.

Slowly Zevran undid the straps on Riel's leather armor, pulling off her braces and gently tugging on the chest piece until it finally gave way. Underneath was a light grey tunic, yet he left that on while he slowly kissed his way up from her collarbone to her jaw. Zevran heard her gasp in pleasure, the sound going straight to the ache between his legs. He could feel Riel's hands on his own leathers, pulling blindly on them as her eyes closed against his kisses.

Pulling away from her briefly, Zevran kept his eyes on her as he quickly shed the armor, leaving on his own tunic and trousers. He then bent over and lifted up Riel's left leg, kissing her knee as his hands drifted downwards to her boots. With sure hands he removed first one, then repeated his actions on the other leg, removing both her boots and laying them aside. Zevran then let his hands wander up her body, tracing the outside of her frame up her thighs, and over her hips until he got to a place just below her breasts.

"Will you allow me to touch you,  _mi bella_?" he whispered hoarsely, keeping his eyes on hers. When she nodded, he smiled again, mentally praising the gods above.

With slow careful motions, Zevran ran the back of his fingers over her breast. The fabric of the tunic was between his flesh and hers, yet he didn't want to push her too fast by removing it just it. First he wanted her to get used to the feeling of his hands on her, even if just through the fabric.

Riel closed her eyes, lost in a swirl of emotions. Evil memories tried to surface in her mind, yet she stamped them away, focusing all of her attention on the feel of Zevran beside her. When he lightly cupped her breast through the fabric, Riel couldn't help but let out a moan.

"By the gods, I love that sound," Zevran groaned, leaning into capture her mouth. He could feel her body respond to his touch, her back arching as he gently massaged her breast with his palm and thumb. However he wanted so much more. Zevran looked down into her eyes, his expression serious as he watched her carefully. "I am going to remove your tunic now,  _mi bella_ ," he stated, giving her time to disagree before he reached for the hem at the bottom of the fabric.

The feel of the cold air on her skin was quickly shut away as Riel felt Zevran's warm hands along her skin as he pulled the fabric up and over her head. The only thing left covering her now was the breast band and the small clothes down lower. Riel tried reaching for the strip of leather holding her breasts, however Zevran stopped her, bringing her hand up to his lips and kissing her fingers.

"Slowly  _mi bella_. There is no rush," he purred before leaning down and laying sweet kisses along her neck. Tilting her head to side, she offered him more of her as another moan left her lips. His hands lightly along her spine and back, each gentle caress feeling more like kisses than touches.

"Zevran," Riel whispered as she leaned into him, losing herself ever more to his touch.

"I am here,  _mi bella_. For as long as have need of me."

"Forever."

Zevran chuckled softly against her neck. "Forever it is then,  _mi diosa_."

Slowly his hands went to the band at her breasts as his mouth moved up to kiss her again. Tasting her sweetness, Zevran undid the leather strings keeping it together before letting the small strip of leather fall to the ground. His hands then rose to feel the soft mounds that were revealed. Unable to resist anymore, Zevran had to dip his head down, leaving a trail of kisses down her neck to her chest.

" _Mi bella, mi bella, mi bella_ ," Zevran whispered over and over as he head dipped ever lower until he was finally able to see the beautiful mounds of flesh before his eyes.

Riel lifted up her arms, her hands coming up to cover her breasts as he looked at her. Yet Zevran gently took her hands and kissed them before looking at Riel.

"You do not need to hide from me,  _mi bella_. You are unbelievably gorgeous to me," he whispered, his voice soft yet firm as he spoke to her.

"Zevran, my scars…" she answered, tears beginning to prick at her eyes. "I am not beautiful like other woman."

Zevran leaned back and looked at her fully, his eyes roaming over her mostly exposed body. And while yes her skin was puckered by scars and marks, that is not what he saw when he looked at her. And he was determined to show her that.

"The only thing I see is the woman I love,  _mi bella_ ," purred Zevran, his voice thick. "And she is  _indescriptiblemente hermosa_." Zevran leaned up and kissed her deeply before pulling back and looking at her. "Indescribably beautiful," he repeated again in King's tongue for her.

Zevran ran his hands over her breasts, his thumbs pausing over the raised nipples to lightly massage them. Again Riel moaned, her head tilting back and her eyes closing. Zevran smiled, watching her react to his touch. A greedy part of himself was pruning, knowing that despite her wretched past,  _he_  was the only one to ever make her feel like this. That out of anyone she could have chosen to place her trust and body in, she chose  _him_. And by the Gods, he was going to spend his life showing her just how grateful he was.

Zevran's hand slid around Riel's back, bracing her weight before slowly lowering her down to the bedrolls below. Weightless under his touch, she went willingly, following his gentle lead. When her back finally touched the fabric below, Zevran positioned himself lying next to her. Bracing himself on his forearm, Zevran took a moment to stare down at Riel, losing himself in her beauty.

" _Mi bella_ , you are a dream," Zevran said softly, letting his fingers drift from her cheek down her skin to rest in between her breasts. He then lowered his head and kissed the valley where his hand rested, eliciting a gasp from her. Encouraged, Zevran took a chance and placed kisses along her skin until his lips met a perked and beautiful nipple. Slipping out his tongue, he tasted her flesh, getting a fresh moan from her.

"Zevran…" Riel gasped, her fingers weaving into his hair and pulling him closer.

Zevran grinned against her flesh, before taking her breast into his mouth. Riel moaned louder, her body writhing under his touch. Her hands slid down his back, reaching for the tunic that separated them. Leaving her perfect breast, Zevran pushed himself up and quickly took the tunic off and tossed it aside.

"Zevran…. you're beautiful…" Riel gasped as she looked up at him. The twin tattoos on his temple were only the beginning. Dark swirls ran down his chest and shoulder on one side of his body, reminding Riel of the smoke from a fire as it curled and flowed in the air. Tentatively she reached out her hand, running her fingertips along one of the lines.

" _Mi bella_ ," groaned Zevran, his eyes closed as her touch seared into him. Hot as fire, yet the burn was blissful as she traced his tattooes with her fingers. He looked down on her through hooded eyes, watching her as she explored his skin. "Your touch…" he whispered, shuddering as her hands went lower down his chest, stopping just above the line of his trousers.

"Is it okay?" Riel asked, fear edging her voice and her eyes filling with worry.

"It is nearly more than I can bear,  _mi bella_ …" Zevran purred, taking her hand and placing it fully on his skin. "Please don't stop."

Riel's worry was replaced with a sweet look of mischief as she let her hands roam along his chest. And just like Zevran, she loved the sound her lover made when they moaned. Laughing softly, Riel began to feel a curious need to taste him as he had tasted her. Pulling him down to her, Riel took advantage of his sudden surprise and kissed his chest, right above a swirl over his heart.

" _Mi bella_ …" Zevran gasped, his hand fisting the bedroll beside her.

Riel kissed his skin again and again, following the line of the swirl across his chest. And with each kiss, Zevran felt what little of control shredding until almost nothing was left. However, he was far from being done with her. Gently Zevran lifted Riel's chin before kissing her deep and long, enjoying her murmurs of pleasure as his hand skimmed down her chest and down to her hips.

"Do you want to stop?" he breathed against her lips.

"No…" she answered him back, her voice laced with just as much lust as his own.

Zevran took her mouth again as his fingers drifted lower, grazing over the hot center between her legs. They moaned at the same time, her from his touch and him from how wet she was. Already the light fabric of her small clothes was dripping with her desire. Again Zevran ran his knuckles over her core, pressing a little harder than before.

"I am going to remove these now,  _mi bella_ …"

"Yes…" she replied, arching her back with pleasure.

Zevran lowered his head to her jaw, gently nipping at the bone before placing a kiss there. He then repeated his motion along Riel's neck as his fingers hooked the fabric between her legs and pulled, moving it slowly down her legs.

Within a moment, she was completely bare before him. And once again Zevran was awed by her beauty. Certainly the gods had gifted him a goddess to worship, and he was somehow deemed worthy enough to touch her. Not that he felt that he deserved such an honor, but he wasn't going to give it up now that he had it.

"The gods have blessed me, and I am left speechless by their gift."

"I don't understand…"

Zevran ran his hand up Riel's side, going from her knee up to her hip, then skimming further until he reached her breast. Briefly he cupped her, before moving his hand higher until he could hold her face in his hand. Smiling, he realized that it was the side of her face that held the vicious scar that cut down from her temple to her chin.

"You are my gift,  _mi bella_. A treasure worthy of the gods themselves," purred Zevran, a look of pure devotion in his eyes. "And a gift that I intend to worship properly, if you'll let me."

"I am yours, Zevran…" Riel answered, hoping he could see as much love in her eyes as she saw in his own.

"As I am eternally yours,  _mi bella_ …" Zevran kissed her as his hand once again found her center, cupping her in his palm. He groaned as her heat invaded his palm, the silky wetness covering it. "I am going to make you feel good, but you must trust me…" he breathed against her.

"Yes, Zevran…. Anything…"

Taking a chance, Zevran rubbed two of his fingers against her opening while his thumb lightly grazed the sensitive nub above it. Riel arched in him, a pleasured moan filling Zevran's ears. And when one of his fingers slipped inside of her, Riel felt her world break apart. Her vision spun behind her closed eyes as every sense in her body exploded. Riel cried out, reaching for anything to hold on to as her body spasmed in strange and glorious ways.

"Zevran!" Riel screamed, a mixture of pleasure and fear in her voice.

"I am here,  _mi bella_ …." Zevran voice echoed next to her, his breath against her ear. "Do not be afraid…"

"What's happening to me?"

"What should happen to a goddess when a man worships her,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran chuckled softly. "Do you want me to stop?"

Riel shook her head, lost in the feelings that still cascaded through her in rolling waves. "By the Creators, I want  _more_ …" she moaned, her hands going to Zevran's chest then slowly moving slower.

Zevran hissed as her hand grazed the tip of the shaft that stretched the fabric of his trousers, yearning to be free. Quickly Zevran grabbed her hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it. "You would test the control of a saint,  _mi bella_ , and I am far from a saint. However, I do not wish to rush you…" he whispered to Riel, kissing her hand again. "Just say the word, and I will gladly gather you in my arms and hold you for the rest of the night. We do not have to go any further."

"I don't want to stop, Zevran. I  _need_  this. I  _need_  to know what this feel like. What it feels like when a man loves a woman, instead of hurting her."

"You deserve no less,  _mi amor_ ," Zevran purred, kissing her deeply. He then sat up and quickly shed the rest of his clothes and boots, angling his body so to hide the aching swell between his legs. Zevran then returned to Riel's lips as his hand found her core once more. Gently he caressed and dipped his finger inside her slit, drawing out another orgasm from her. And the second was even sweeter than the first. Her back arched, lifting her gorgeous breasts up to his hungry gaze as her legs scissored against him. Zevran took her breast into his mouth, laving her nipple with his eager tongue.

 _One more, and she will be ready_  Zevran thought to himself, forcing himself under control through a sheer force of will alone.

"That's it,  _mi bella_ … Lose yourself to me. Let me replace everything bad in your past with my touch…" Zevran placed a second finger inside of her as his mouth found her other breast.

Riel reached up and grabbed hold of Zevran's shoulders, her nails digging into his flesh as waves of pleasure washed over her. Zevran hissed, the pain becoming pleasure that rocketed through him and straight to his hips. He didn't know how much longer he could last, yet his pride and love for this woman refused to allow him to fail her so disgracefully.

A third orgasm shot through Riel, nearly levitating her off the bedrolls beneath her. She cried and moaned, grabbing at Zevran and pulling him down to her lips. She kissed him hard, taking control as her tongue explored his mouth. "Please, Zevran," she mewled, breathing heavy in long gasps.

"Tell me you want this…." Zevran demanded, accepting no less of himself or her.

"Oh Creators, yes, Zevran!"

Zevran gently pushed Riel's legs apart, then positioned himself between them. His aching member straining to find her as he hovered above her. Carefully he positioned the head at her opening, a tingling of fear biting at his mind.  _Please do not let her regret this_  he prayed as he looked down into her half closed eyes.

"Accept me, Riel, and know that I love you," he whispered, leaving the last step solely in own power.

"I love you, Zevran," Riel breathed heavily before lowering her hips onto him, impaling herself on his manhood.

They moaned in unison, Zevran throwing his head back as intense pleasure shot through him.  _So this is what heaven feel like_  he briefly mused before passion overtook him and he moved slowly inside of her. Keeping his eyes trained on her, Zevran watched for any signs of fear in her eyes, yet all he could see was the love that she held for him.

Moaning, Riel again dug her nails into Zevran's shoulders, arching her back as she rose up to meet him.  _Dear Gods_ , he was fully in her now, and didn't that just lock everything into place for him. Moving steadily, Zevran increased the pace, driving into her with careful yet powerful strokes.

"It's… happening… again…  _Zevran_ …!" Riel exclaimed breathless as she felt another release build within her.

"Come with me,  _mi bella_ …. Let me feel you-  _Mierdas_!" Zevran shouted as Riel's legs locked around his waist and her insides latched onto him, milking him. The combination undid him, sending Zevran over the edge just as she was, each crying out in pleasure as they rocked against each other.

Several more strokes and Zevran felt all the energy leave him. Exhausted, yet filled with more happiness than he ever felt possible, Zevran lowered his head next to Riel's, careful to keep the majority of his weight off of her. For several minutes Zevran remained still, allowing himself to fully enjoy the feel of his beautiful woman underneath him while still inside of her. It was everything he ever wanted. Everything he had ever craved. And it was so much more. He had tasted heaven, and her name was  _Riel_.

Suddenly he felt something wet touch the side of his face, confused Zevran leaned back and became horrified to see his Riel crying, her eyes filled with tears.

"By the Gods,  _ **no**_! Riel! Please do not cry!" Zevran exclaimed, quickly moving from off from her and pulling himself away.

_Stupid, stupid man! Too soon! You bastard! Look what you have done! Death! You deserve death for your damnable lusts!_

Zevran cursed himself over and over again in every language that he knew, which was quite a lot considering his line of work. Yet none of it was enough for how he felt. He had done the one thing that he had  **sworn**  to never do!

"Zevran! Zevran please!" Riel reached up to him, trying to pull him back to her. Yet he was too disgusted with himself to allow her. No, what he needed was his blades. Something to cut off the evil that had sullied the one good thing that he ever known in his life. Maybe then he would be able to beg,  _plead_  for her to forgive him.

"Riel, please, do not touch me! I do not deserve it!" Zevran cried out, trying to avoid her touch as she reached for him.

"Zevran!  **Look**  at me!" Riel demanded, her voice hard and firm as she finally took hold of his face, a hand on each side. Instantly he stilled, yet he refused to meet her, keeping his eyes lowered down to the ground. "Zevran,  **look**  at me…" Riel demanded again, her voice no longer as hard but still firm. Slowly he lifted his honey gaze to meet her silver one, shame shining forth from his eyes. "You didn't hurt me. I'm crying because I am  _happy_."

" _Mi bella_ …?" he asked tentatively, not sure whether he could believe her.

"Trust me," she smiled beautifully. "That was the most amazing thing that has every happened to me. And believe me when I say that I have  _ **no**_  regrets."

Zevran claimed her mouth was a hungry passion, fear and anger at himself getting lost in the feeling of her against him.  _Trust in her_  a voice said within his mind, and he knew that it was right. Pulling back from her, his eyes searched hers again.

"You truly have no regrets?"

"Not one," she smiled back at him, her eyes revealing the truth of it. She did not fear him. She did not distrust him. And most of all, she did not regret him.

Zevran pulled Riel against him in a tight embrace, one hand circling her waist while the other found her hair. He started to whisper Antivan to her, his words coming too quickly for Riel to understand given the short amount of time that she had been learning. The meaning, however, was clear. He was whispering his love to her. His devotion. His thanks to the gods for her. Everything that Riel felt inside of herself for him.

" _Ar lath ma, ma vhenan'ara_ …" Riel whispered to back to him. It was one of the few phrases that Riel has learned from the bonding ceremonies from when she was her clan.

_I love you, my heart's desire._


	20. No Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Another chapter rated M (18+)!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Exquisito: Antivan. "Exquisite."
> 
> Mi esposa: Antivan. "My wife."

When Riel opened her eyes, she was resting curled against Zevran's side. Her head was on his shoulder and her arm draped casually across his chest. Riel smiled as she breathed in his familiar scent. Mixed in with the sunshine and foreign spices of his skin was a darker scent now. A rich musk that remained on both of their skins after their love making the previous night.

After Riel had reassured Zevran that he hadn't hurt her, he spent a long time afterward holding her to him. At some point she had fallen asleep, listening to him to speak his lovely Antivan words to her. Although she didn't understand the words he said, the meaning was as clear to her as his love was.

Smiling, Riel carefully lifted her head to look up at him, surprised to find him still asleep. Usually when they slept next to each other, he was always awake before her. While he never left her to awaken alone, Riel would always open her eyes every morning to see that he was already awake and watching her.  _Or did he sleep at all?_  she wondered, thinking back to how tired they all were coming back from the tower.

Riel was about to close her eyes and get some more rest when she felt something move against her arm. Looking down Zevran's chest, Riel couldn't help but gasp when she saw his already full and thick member standing proudly and erect as it laid against his stomach. Without moving she watched the thing twitch, almost as if it had a mind of it's own and could sense her watching it. Compelled by some deep inner curiosity, Riel lifted herself up slightly, careful to not disturb her sleeping lover.

All of her life, Riel had feared men and the thing between their legs that they used against women. The flickering memories in her mind of her old masters pressing their lengths against her still made Riel want to vomit. Yet when she thought of the previous night, Riel felt no such revulsion when it was Zevran who touched her. And this thing now that seemed to strain for her even though Zevran still slept, it both confused and compelled her.

However, Riel noted with surprise, it no longer frightened her.

Reaching out her hand, Riel felt the need to touch it. To feel it in her hand and see what it felt like. Was it as smooth as the rest of Zevran's skin? Was it as hard as the corded strength that laid under his skin? It certainly felt that way last night. On both accounts. But what about now? Biting her bottom lip, Riel lightly ran her fingers along the shaft, feeling the delicate blood vessels under the skin.

"You keep this up,  _mi bella_ , and I may not be able to keep myself from you." Zevran chuckled huskily.

Riel gasped in surprise, darting back away, her face looking as if she were a child caught doing something that they weren't supposed to. The cute expression caused Zevran to laugh, even though he regretted startling her.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean-"

"Shh… there is no need to worry,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran purred, his eyes shining with lust and affection. "I actually love the feel of your hands upon me."

"I shouldn't do that, though! Not without your permission!" cursed Riel, her face going red with embarrassment and shame.

Zevran pulled her face to meet his. "You  _always_  have permission to touch me,  _mi amor_. I am yours, completely and eternally." Zevran took Riel's hand in his, then guided it back to his chest. "Anywhere, anytime…" Zevran's voice got deeper as he gently led Riel's hand lower, down his stomach to the ache between his legs. " _Any_   _place_  you wish to touch me." Zevran's eyes rolled back in his head when he felt Riel's small hand take hold of him.

Riel watched him as she she wrapped her hand around his shaft. She didn't know much about this area on men, but she did know that they were sensitive. So she was gentle as moved her hand up then down, delighting in each moan he gave to her. Running her fingers along the head, Riel gently pulled back the outer skin hiding the sensitive flesh.

An image flashed to her mind, a long ago memory of something that she was forced to do against her will. Yet Riel slammed the image away, determined to not let the monsters of her past ruin what she had now with Zevran. He was like nothing she had ever known in her past. Nothing like any man that ever lived. And she knew that with him, she was safe.

Riel wanted to show him just how much he meant to her. Just how much he had changed her and healed her. She wanted to give him something of her own choice. Something that she not just wanted to give, but to experience anew. With him. The kindest, most loving man that she had ever known.

Taking a deep breath to settle her anxiety, Riel leaned forward and placed a kiss on the head of the shaft. Immediately Zevran pulled her up, a concoction of shock, desire, and fear on his face as he gently held her away from himself.

"Please  _mi bella_ , do not do what you will regret. The touch of your hand is all that I need," he half begged, half purred. Yet Riel was determined. More than that, she was curious. Led by a desire to please him not because she  _must_ , but because she wanted to. To hear him gasp and moan her name while she gifted him with the same type of pleasure that he so freely gave to her.

"I have no regrets, Zevran. I  _want_  to do this," she replied before placing a soft kiss against his lips. She almost pulled away before Zevran wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him and kissing her deeply. And she accepted the desperate yet loving feel of him. The need of him to give her something because he could. It was the same way that she felt for him.

"No regrets…" he breathed against her skin when he finally released her lips, his tone almost begging.

"No regrets," Riel affirmed with a smile. Zevran nodded and laid back down against the bedroll, uncertainty mixing with his desires.

Riel's eyes refocused on the hard length and placed her hand once more upon it, feeling it twitch against her hand in almost anticipation. She watched her hand move up and down against the smooth hardness, before once more lowering down and placing another kiss against the head of it. From behind her, Riel heard Zevran hiss out of pleasure, the sound stirring a warmth between her own legs.

Feeling a boldness she usually only felt during battle, Riel found herself licking the underside of the member, letting her tongue linger on the small slit at the top. He tasted like bitter nectar - like the flowers from the area where her clan used to camp in the early spring. The Keeper would ask Riel to gather them sometimes for her potions, and Riel had tasted them once, curious. And yet even though similar, Zevran taste was so much better.

Sealing away her old memories, Riel lowered her head once more and took him partially into his mouth. Zevran nearly jumped off the bedroll, his moan so loud that Riel wondered if those back at the Inn would be able to hear him. However Riel kept her mouth on him, letting her tongue dance against his flesh.

"Riel, please wait-!" Zevran exclaimed hoarsely as he pulled her up his body. "As I said, you could tempt a saint,  _mi bella_. And I do not nearly have the control needed to withstand your torturous assaults," he breathed heavily as he looked on her through hooded eyes.

"Tortuous assaults?" Riel laughed, knowing that those moans he made were from pleasure,  _not_  pain.

"If I am going to find my climax, then I wish to do so within your glorious depth," Zevran purred, running his fingers across her slit as if to emphasize the area he meant. Riel shuddered as she felt his touch, her eyes closing. "I think that perhaps it is my turn to sate my own curiosity," Zevran replied with a wicked grin on his face.

"What do you mean?" Riel asked, her voice languid as her hips rolled against his hand.

"Lay down,  _mi bella_. I hunger for you, and I find myself in need to sate my hunger." Zevran gently led her back down, his hands running along her skin in soft caresses as he watched her. Her neck, her chest, over her beautiful breasts and down her stomach. Zevran took devilish delight in how he made her moan and squirm just by his touch. Added to the fact that this was just beginning thrilled him beyond measure.

Oh yes, he was going to enjoy his goddess.

Zevran lowered his head, first kissing her nipples, tasting them with his tongue before moving his kisses downward. Over her ribs and down across her stomach went his kisses as he moved himself lower, finally stopping when he laid between her legs. Gently he nuzzled her abdomen, his fingers moving lower to the core. Lightly he ran his fingers up and down over her slit, taking pleasure in how she moaned and moved against him. She was ready for him, yet Zevran demanded that he made her even more so. He would not be happy with himself until he had her begging and wet for him.

Zevran lowered his head and took a moment to observe her beauty. The soft petals of her lips, the swell of her thighs, the way a fine wetness already glistened for him… It was beyond beautiful. " _Exquisito_ …" Zevran breathed heavily before finally tasting her. Riel jumped at his touch, her hips rising off the bedroll and her eyes going wide.

"Zevran?" she pleaded, unsure even in breathlessness.

"I told you,  _mi bella_ , I hunger for you. And if you will permit me, I wish to feast until you plead me to stop," Zevran laughed darkly.

Riel's hands drifted down and found Zevran's face, lightly touching his cheeks and lips. Zevran watched her closely, looking for any signs that she was uncomfortable. And when she nodded in response, her hands slightly pulling him back to her core, Zevran smiled broadly. He then lowered his head again, placing a kiss against her slit before letting out his tongue.

Riel threw back her head as pleasure shot through her as if it were lightening. All at once it was too much and yet not enough as she rocked her hips against his mouth. And when Zevran placed a long finger inside of her, Riel burst apart. Still Zevran assaulted her with his tongue and fingers, wringing every bit of pleasure out of her that he could. The second orgasm came quickly on the heels on the first. And it was just as intense. Riel found herself having to fist the fabric of the bedroll beneath her to help keep her still.

" _Zevran….. please_ …." she mewled in a soft whimper.

 _Not yet_  Zevran laughed to himself as he increased his motions, suckling and pulling on her soft center. Swirling his tongue against the sensitive nub above her slit is what finally did it. Again Riel broke apart, her cries of pleasure becoming music in Zevran's ears. Never had he heard a sweeter sound than his name on her lips as she came for him.

" _Now…_!" Zevran growled as he released her core and climbed up her body. His own body hard and aching for her, Zevran positioned himself over top of Riel, his shaft lightly resting against her center. "Accept me,  _mi bella_ …." Zevran purred as he looked down at her.

Riel's hands slipped around his back as her legs found their place around his waist. Then with a slight shift, she took him inside of her. Zevran bit back a curse as she once again sheathed him. By the Gods, being in her was better than anything else in the world. And knowing that she accepted him willing through love made it that much more sweeter and special.

Zevran lowered his head and took her mouth, the two different tastes of her melding together and driving his passion higher. With Riel's legs locked behind him, Zevran rolled his hips drinking up the moans she made as he kissed her in deep passionate motions. Each stroke of his was met by her, lifting and meeting her hips against his even as he increased the pace of his strokes.

" _Mi bella_ …" Zevran moaned against her lips, his body ready to burst.

" _Mi amor_ ," Riel responded back in Antivan, her motions driving him into quicker.

Even though he tried to bite it back until he felt her release, Zevran could not battle against the crashing tide of pleasure that slammed into him. He roared out, his body emptying into her own. However he was awarded by the feel of Riel's release following just a moment later.

Breathless, Zevran looked down at Riel, his eyes heavy with spent passion. He was determined to watch her this time, though. To assure himself that she indeed did not regret his body within hers.

As if knowing what he was looking for, Riel placed a soft kiss against his lips. "No regrets, Zevran," she purred, her hands dancing in glorious motions along his back.

"I love you,  _mi bella_. More than anything, I love you," Zevran stated softly, plying her with light kisses along her mouth and cheeks.

"I love you too," Riel giggled.

"Now, should I be concerned that the woman I just made passionate love to, now giggles?"

"Only if you don't think I should be insanely happy after you make love to me," Riel replied, matching his mocking tone.

"Marry me,  _mi bella_ , and I will gladly spend the rest of of my life making you happy."

Riel paused, looking into his eyes as she tried to gauge whether he was serious. "Are you sure?"

Zevran lifted himself from her and pulled the two of them up so that they were both sitting. Then with practiced strength, he pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life," Zevran replied, his voice firm yet kind.

"Zevran, I'm not like other women," Riel argued quickly. "I'm still really messed up in a lot of ways, and that's not even including how we are in the middle of war against the Darkspawn."

"We will end this Blight,  _mi bella_ , and afterwards when this pesky Archdemon lies dead at your glorious feet, we will still have our lives ahead of us. And I can think of no one else who I would rather spend my life with." Zevran saw the skeptical look on Riel's face and sighed before speaking again. "I am no fool, Riel. What we are doing is dangerous. There is still much do, I know this. Armies to gather, a traitorous bastard to kill, and various other problems that will arise before we are even ready to face the Darkspawn. It is dangerous, and a lot can go wrong…"

"Zevran…" Riel whimpered, tears biting at her eyes.

"I know this,  _mi bella_. And yet I cannot stop the way that I feel. Trying to imagine my life without you feels like trying to imagine my death, for it will be." Zevran paused to lift his hand and wiped away a tear that fell down Riel's cheek. "It will be difficult, but I will not abandon you. And I will do everything in my power to keep you safe and see you to the end of this journey and beyond it. And when this awful war is done, I will be gladly standing by your side, ready to finally give you the life that you deserve."

"What if…." Riel began, her worries and fears on the tip of her tongue.

"There are many 'what ifs' in the world,  _mi bella_. And we cannot ever know them all. But I will face each and every one with you, at your side," replied Zevran, holding her close to him. However, he still saw her reluctance, as if she were still being held back by something. "Here, I have something for you," he quickly stated, wanting to take her mind away from her fears.

Looking behind him, Zevran spotted his side pack and pulled it over to him, careful to not move Riel from his lap. Opening it up, he rummaged through it until his face brightened into a smile and pulled out what looked like a rock the size of his palm. He then tossed his pack to the side and looked up at Riel, his face beaming with mischief.

"Do you remember that night by the river outside of Haven? When I came upon you washing?"

"And I nearly killed you?" Riel teased, still embarrassed by that night. Not only did he see the ugly scars that covered her back, but he also found out her most dangerous secret. The one thing she had hoped no one would ever find out about her in case they tried to lock her away.

"And rightly so,  _mi bella_! After all, I should always be punished for staring luridly at you naked body. And there is no one else more well suited to inflict such sweet torture than yourself, my Riel," Zevran added with a wink, smiling pure mischief at her. Riel couldn't help but laugh at his words, even though her worries still ate at her. "That night on my way back to the camp, I found something, and have been trying to find the right time to give it to you…"

Zevran then held out the stone. Or more accurately, half of a stone. It was a dark grey color, the edges covered in rough bumps that scratched against Riel's hand as she took it. Yet when she turned it over to see the broken side, Riel gasped in amazement. For underneath the hard, rough exterior, beautiful crystals laid sparkling in the light. Rows of sparkling crystal of various shades of purples greeted her eyes as she carefully examined the stone, cradling it gently in her hands. Riel turned the stone over in her hands, marveling at the complete contrast between the rough outer appearance and the smooth beautiful crystals inside.

"In Antiva, these stones are called the 'Warrior's Heart', and are highly valued. The Chantry there says that they are a symbol from the Maker, teaching us that what may look hard or rough on the outside, can instead hold the most beautiful treasures." Zevran gently lifted Riel's eyes up to meet his own, taking pride in the look of love and wonder he saw there. "There is only 'what if' that worries me,  _mi bella_. And that is what if I couldn't be with you," Zevran brought his hand up and cupped her scarred cheek. "What ever dangers that lie ahead of us, whatever battles that await us, I will face them all to keep you safe from harm. For as much or as little time the Gods give to us."

"Yes."

Zevran stared at her for a moment, confused. "Yes what,  _mi bella_?"

"Yes, I'll marry you, Zevran," Riel replied with a tear filled smile.

Zevran felt as if his heart exploded in his chest, smiling so broadly he felt as if his face would crack. Yet none of that mattered. Not with his Riel in his arms. Not with her acceptance on her lips. No matter what, he was going to see her through this difficult journey. Past the Darkspawn and past the Archdemon and his Voidforsaken Blight. And when it was over, Zevran swore to the Gods above that he would spend the rest of their lives erasing every hurt and pain she had ever suffered with his love and devotion.

Laughing in joy, Zevran pulled Riel down to his mouth and kissed her hard. Riel melted against him, accepting both his joy and passion and returning it fully. Immediately Riel felt a hardness grow between them, her own body blooming in heat as a response. Zevran snaked his hand between their bodies, and found her cleft, rubbing it lightly with his thumb as his lips left her mouth feathered along her neck.

"Zevran… I need…" Riel murmured, becoming lost to his touch.

"I know  _mi bella_ …" he purred in response before taking her breast into his mouth. Riel cried out, arching her back as an orgasm rushed through her. Wanting to give him as much as he was giving her, Riel reached between them and took his shaft in her hand, gently gliding her hand along the sensitive head. Then with one swift motion Riel sat up, and brought herself down hard on to him.

Zevran thought that his heart did indeed burst from his chest as she rocked against him. She was so slick and wet, yet she gripped his hardness with each tight glide. With her legs around his waist and her in his arms, Zevran let Riel take control. Surrendering himself to her movements, Zevran just held on to her tightly as she rode out her passion on him. Yet he couldn't keep his mouth from her, finding the flesh of her neck far too tempting. With kisses and soft suckles, he worked his mouth while she increased her speed.

" _Mi esposa_ ," Zevran moaned against her neck just as their releases crashed together.

Drained, Zevran fell back to the bedroll, taking Riel with him. There he wrapped his arms around her, placing kisses to her temple as he fought fruitlessly against a wave of sleep. All too soon his eyes fell close, his mind filled with images of the life he would lead with his Riel once their journey was done. Of a grand house filled with children and servants to aid her in everything that she needed. Yes, he would give her everything. She would finally be safe. She will finally be happy. And she will finally be free.

Riel laid on top of Zevran's chest, listening to his heartbeat slow down and his breathing regulate. In her hand, Riel still held the stone that he had given to her. She was staring at it, watching at how the light played on the crystals inside. It really was beautiful. However what bothered her mind and kept her from finding the comfort of sleep like Zevran had was one nagging thought that refused to let go. It was something that Duncan had said the night of her initiation into the Wardens.

The reason why Wardens could sense Darkspawn and were the ones most needed to fight against a Blight.

It was because in order to do so, they had to ingest the blood of those evil, corrupted creatures in order to become what they were. And in so doing, each Warden who survived the joining would be sentencing themselves to a brutal and short life fighting against those very same evil creatures. Then as the years went on, the poison in their blood would slowly eat away at both their mind and body, leaving each Warden no better than ghouls.

There were no 'happy endings' for Wardens. There was only a life of nightmares, madness, and the eventual Calling. The last mission each Grey Warden takes when they know that they can no longer withstand the madness that infects them. Alone, they go down into the Deep Roads and fight against the cursed things until they finally die.

Now the only question was - How was she ever going to tell the man that she loved more than life itself that she was living under a death sentence?


	21. Preparing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Messerre: King's Tongue. A title of respect similar to "mistress" or "lord."
> 
> Andaran ma'lathin: Elvhen. "Enter/welcome my love."

 

"Twelve silvers and not a copper less, you blighted elf!" the scavenger cursed, eyeing Zevran up and down as if he were sizing him up for a mark.

"You drive a hard bargain, but it seems that I will have to agree," Zevran smiled, his voice friendly even though he wished to gut the sniveling weasel before him.

"Damn right you do!" the man growled, holding out his hand.

Reluctantly Zevran parted with the coins, dropping them in the scavenger's dirty hand before walking away with his meager goods. It wasn't much; a few elfroots, cloth for bandages, and even a low quality poultice. Yet they were needed supplies for when he and Riel travelled west to Orzammar. Zevran had better luck with the merchant at the Circle tower, gaining several potions for his coin. However, Zevran wanted to limit his time there in case the Templars decided to start asking questions that he didn't want to answer.

Zevran had hoped to get some dried food from the Inn, however the man who owned the building flat out refused to let Zevran even enter, threatening to call the Templars if Zevran didn't leave. Apparently the events involving Riel the other day had pushed the man to his limit when it came to both he and his lovely Warden. Disappointed, he now needed to hurry back to the small camp where his Riel still slept.

Even if given good weather and few enemies, it would still take several days of travelling west to reach the Frostback Mountains, where the entrance to the dwarven city laid. It was there that Leliana had said that she would meet up with the two of them, and where the next leg of their journey against the Blight compelled them to go. And although the supplies that she had gifted them that first night would go a long way in helping to get there, Zevran did not want to take any chances.

Which is why he reluctantly left her warm body and ordered the mabari to be extra vigilant in protecting his mistress. Hidden away in the valley of a few small hills, the campsite he had chosen for the two of them the other day wasn't far from the Inn near the lake. However Zevran was anxious about the increased Templar presence since the incident at the Circle. With rumors of escaped blood mages, apostates, and abominations, the Templars were interviewing everyone, searching for possible leads. Which only made Zevran even more anxious to pack up his Riel and move her even further away.

To convince her of that though without adding to her own worry - that was the trick. The weight of all Ferelden already weighed heavily on her slender shoulders, and he wasn't about to add a bunch of overzealous Templars to her worries. Which is why Zevran was currently doing his best to gather as many supplies as he could before whisking her away from their nosy investigations.

"Good evening, friend. I recognize you from the Lady Riel's entourage."

Zevran eyed the mage who called out to him. He was one of the mages who worked for the secretive group called the 'Mages Collective'; a small yet connected group who worked to protect mages interests in Ferelden under the radar of the Templars. Or so they claimed. Leliana had first introduced Riel to their members in Denerim upon hearing that they were interested in skilled persons to help complete tasks. And with Riel being the person she was, of course she had agreed.

"Ah yes, good evening. Pardon my rudeness, however I am quite busy," Zevran quickly bowed, trying to keep his voice friendly. The last thing he or Riel needed was for any suspicious Templars to see him speaking with a possible mage or apostate. Not so soon after the incident at the Inn.

"If you have a moment, ser, it seems we have a mutual acquaintance who has taken an interest in your companions…" the human stated quickly, his eyes cold despite his generous smile.

Zevran focused on the mage, narrowing a deathly glare on the man. The Mages Collective claimed to have contacts throughout Thedas, yet there was only one group who would claim a connection to Zevran. And they were even more dangerous than the Templars for his precious Warden.

"Is that so?" Zevran smiled, belying the anger that boiled beneath his skin.

"Indeed. Normally  _we_  are the ones paying others for their services, however I was paid a rather nice sum to make sure that you - and  _only_  you - received this." The human reached into his pocket and Zevran immediately went for his blades at his back, causing the mage to startle and take a step back. In a blink, Zevran angled one of his blades at the man's throat with the other pointed directly over the heart.

"Forgive me, my  _friend_ , however I find that I am quite distracted today. Perhaps you would be so kind as to place whatever it is on that table there so I may see it for myself," Zevran replied, his light tone barely concealing the venom and threat behind his words.

"O-of.. of course, messere…" the man gulped as he slowly removed a small parchment from his pocket and placed it on the table.

Zevran stepped closer, keeping on eye on the human while he quickly inspected the parchment paper. It looked like any other letter, however the seal in the wax told Zevran all he needed to know about.

"Open the seal!" Zevran hissed, keeping his blades drawn on the human.

The human looked surprised and confused at first, but he nodded and quickly took the letter, cracking the seal and unfolding it. However, there was no puff of vapor or release of powder, meaning that the letter itself wasn't the assassination attempt. Perhaps a warning?

"D-do you.. you want me to read it, m-messere?" he stuttered, looking ready to piss his robes in fear.

Zevran sighed in disgust as he sheathed his daggers behind his back before snatching the letter from the mage's hands. "Luck is with you this day, my  _friend_. Perhaps in the future though, it would be wise in the interest of health to avoid anything containing  _ **that**_  particular seal," Zevran hissed before turning his back and walking off.

Poisoning the paper would be ineffectual, seeing as how many hands it would have to touch in order to reach his. And seeing as there was no trap upon opening the letter, Zevran knew that it was a warning meant to be  _read_ , not just simply received. Cursing, he marched off into the shadows. Once Zevran was sure that he was out of sight of the Inn and the dock leading to the tower, he pulled out the paper and unfolded it.

A swell of bitter anger consumed Zevran as his eyes danced across the beautifully written words. What the cursive script described was far worse than he had imagined, igniting every protective and murderous instincts that Zevran contained.  _Void take them all!_  Zevran cursed to himself as he stuffed the letter back into his side pack.

Zevran knew that he was a fool to think that he was free of them. That he could hide in Ferelden under the banner of the Grey Wardens, the very ones who he was sent to kill. And now it seemed as if past friends have caught up with him and were determined to finish old business.

Cursing once more, Zevran knew he couldn't wait any longer before moving his Riel from the hidden campsite. He didn't dare to bring her to Redcliff. Not with that demon and those Templars marching about due to the increase of mages. Orzammar wasn't much better, truth be told. True the dwarves had an immunity to magic so the threat from Templars was minimal, however the carta and coterie there were nearly as connected as his  _friends_. And while Zevran knew he was excellent with his blades, he also knew that he would have an easier time protecting Riel once the others joined with them in just under two weeks.

So that left only one option - to keep moving. To lose both himself and Riel within the wilderness and mountains of the area far away from any town or city where they could be recognized by those who would not question to commit any sort of horrid act for the right amount of coin.

Zevran forced his breathing under control before he continued on to the camp where Riel waited for him. Already she suffered under such a terrible weight of the Blight and war with Loghain. To add  _ **this**_  to her shoulders would be a crime Zevran could not commit. She was to be his wife, and it was his job as her husband to protect her. Having her beautiful silver eyes searching the shadows for yet  _another_  enemy was unfair to her. Not when he knew their tricks better than anyone and was more than capable of watching for her.

After all, what better defence against an assassin than another assassin trained by the same master?

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

By the time that Riel awoke again, it was dark outside. The sound of the waves beyond the tent beating against the shore mixed with the quiet chirping of crickets and other nighttime activities. Outside, Riel could see the light of a fire burning, the soft crackling sound of the wood a familiar and comforting balm to Riel's senses. Rolling over onto her back, Riel was surprised to see that was alone in the tent.

Zevran's absence from the tent hit a strange cord within Riel. It had been many days since Riel had awoken by herself, and the feeling disconcerted her. Sitting up, Riel pulled her tunic and small clothes to herself and quickly got dressed. However when she got to her leathers, she wondered if she should bother. It wasn't as if they were going to be travelling anywhere right now. Not with it being dark out, at least.

Suddenly, Riel realized that she had no clue about where the others were or what they were doing. She had been so wrapped up in her own feelings and the things with Zevran, that she hadn't even asked about her other companions. Heat rising to her face, Riel put her leathers aside and stepped out of the tent. She needed to find Zevran and find out where everyone was, and what their plans were.

Stretching to her full height, Riel greeted her hound with a friendly pet before taking in the area around her. Nestled in a small alcove by the shore, the area was shielded on almost three sides by small hills. Off in the distance across the lake, the island where the Circle Tower rested could still be seen despite the failing light. Riel shivered when she thought of the place, remembering the awful nightmares and demons they encountered there.

 _Great. Now I have another reason to hate the place_  she mused bitterly as she walked over to the fire. The flames were going strong and there was still a fair amount of wood to be seen, so that meant Zevran couldn't have been gone long. Left untended for too long, a small campside fire didn't last long. However, much of her memory from the night they returned to the Inn was still a blur to her, and so she had no clue how far away Zevran had taken her that night.

Not knowing where he was caused a strange ache in Riel's chest. And it wasn't just him, either. Over the past few months, all of her companions have somehow become a part of her everyday day life and thinking. Even Alistair, as bizarre as that was to her mind. Each new day brought something new for Riel to consider and act upon, whether it was which direction to take, who to take watch, or whose turn it was to keep Morrigan from outright murdering Alistair.

Here…. All there was was the crackling of the fire and the slight snore of her hound lazing beside it.

And while Riel supposed that she should find the peace restful, she couldn't help but worry over her companions and where they were.

Did they go to Redcliff? Seems like the most logical thing. Irving said that they would travel there as soon as they could to help with the boy Connor. Not to mention that Riel doubted that Alistair would abandon his uncle and nephew in such a state. Riel wondered what the others would say to Teagan about her absence, though. And whether the ashes they found would really help Eamon, if he indeed still lived at all.

Riel sighed as she sat down by the fire, pulling her knees up to her chest. Zevran was right, there was still a  _ **lot**_  of work still to do. Forming an alliance with the dwarves and the Dalish elves were only really the beginning. Judging from the pattern this blasted war was taking, no doubt there were problems that needed to be solved on both those ends as well. And then there was the problem of dealing with Loghain on top of all that.

All which needed to be done  _ **before**_  Riel could face off against the Darkspawn and the Archdemon that led them. On a dwindling timeline, no less. After all, it wasn't as if the Archdemon was just going to sit around and  _wait_  for an army to be built against it. Riel's nightmares were proof enough of that.

Yes, it wasn't just the horrid dreams of former masters and unwelcome and painful touches that woke Riel in the middle of night drenched in sweat. Being a Warden also carried along the perk of being connected to the Archdemon itself, sensing it as she could sense the Darkspawn. Only in her dreams, she could almost feel it  _talking_  to her.

Which was another reason why Riel dreaded the underground tunnels known as the Deep Roads. Ever since the First Blight when the Darkspawn first appeared, the dwarves who built the massive marvels of engineering had lost major ground to the foul beasts. Now much of their old territory was crawling with Darkspawn, with only a few remaining cities remaining of the once great dwarven empire.

"Mythal… guide me…." Riel whispered to the ancient Elvhen goddess.

Out of all the Creator gods that Riel had learned about since joining the Dalish, Mythal - the goddess of protection, family, and hearth - was the one Riel enjoyed learning about most. Her beauty and kindness called out to Riel, and in some strange way she always felt connected to the goddess.

"It seems I was not quick enough in my tasks,  _mi bella_ …."

Riel turned her head and smiled, a feeling of relief and happiness washing over her at the thick Antivan accent. Approaching her out the darkness beyond the fire she spotted the familiar predatory gait of Zevran, his timing almost an answer from Mythal herself.

" _Andaran ma'lathin_ ," beamed Riel as she stood.

"Such a warm greeting from a woman so lovely," Zevran purred, pulling Riel against him and placing a soft kiss against her lips. "You honor me,  _mi bella_."

"When I awoke and found you gone, I was worried… Did you go back to the Circle?" Riel asked quickly, trying to not get distracted by the feel of his warm body against hers.

"Forgive me for not being here, however I went to see what the news was as well as gain a few supplies for our travels."

Even without the explanation, Riel could easily find herself forgiving him for leaving as she felt his strong arms circle around her waist and hold her close. Riel sighed happily against his chest, surprised at the amount of relief she felt just being in his arms gave to her. It was if all her earlier worries seemed less pressing now that he was holding her. Even the idea of Templars and what happened at the Inn seemed far away to her at that moment.

"I hope that I didn't cause you too much worry  _mi bella_."

"No," Riel answered, straightening to look up at him.

Strange how much could change in just a matter of weeks, Riel mused to herself. Days even, when she thought about it. How long  _had_  it been since Zevran's ambush on Riel and the others? How long since he had come upon her at the river outside of Haven and he learned of her secret? Since Honnleath when he started sharing her tent with her? The more Riel thought about it, the more she realized just how short of time the two of them had known each other. Going from enemies ready to kill each other, to now in love and promised to be wed. Riel would never had believed such a thing if someone had told her just half a year ago that something like this would happen to her. She probably would have fought the person and tried running in the opposite direction, in fact. Away from the idea of soft touches and whispered words and a deep love that she couldn't even begin to understand let alone explain.

Perhaps Mythal had answered her prayers afterall. In the form of a charming, laughing handsome elf assassin with sun kissed skin and eyes the color of honey infused amber. A man who tested her patience, her anger, and her veritable views of the world and how it worked. And yet somehow made everything make so much sense at the exact same time.

"I did worry a bit while you were gone, but I had Fen with me," Riel added, a smile on her face.

"Well I am glad that I left you in such good company then," he laughed, motioning down to the hound by the fire.

"Did you find anything out?" Riel asked, going serious for a moment.

"Some…" Zevran replied with a sigh, debating with himself on how much he should reveal to her. And how exactly he was going to broach the subject of their need to travel so soon without worrying her.

Riel stared at him as silence filled the small space between them as Zevran struggled for words. "They know, don't they?" Riel's voice was hard as a sharp fear came over her. "The Templars. They know about me and my magic…." Riel's head lowered into her hands as she again cursed herself and the power that hid inside of her. She may not remember exactly what happened at the Inn, but why else would they be out here hiding?

"No, no they don't," he replied quickly. Still she shook her head, fear welling up.

"How could they not?! Oh dear Creators, does everyone else know? Leliana? Morrigan?  _Alistair_?"

Riel was in full panic now. To have so many know about her curse, not just friends but Templars and even an active member of the Circle…. Perhaps Leliana and Morrigan wouldn't turn her into the Chantry and its rules. However Alistair trained as a Templar before becoming a Grey Warden. And Sten had once remarked about how the Qunari actually  _leash_  their mages, trapping them within their bodies and only used when they were needed. Wynne might even tell the Templars herself, being a mage who spent her whole life amongst them!

"Oh by the Creators! They are going to come for me, aren't they?" she cried out, hyperventilating from the fear that clutched at her chest. "That's what you were doing! You were finding out how close they were in finding me! Why else would everyone have left, going to Redcliff alone? Mythal help me, I need to  _ **leave**_!" Riel exclaimed in horror, trying to pull away from Zevran. She needed to pack everything up and escape. Did she even have time for that? How close were they to the tower? Did the Templars know where they were even now?

" _Mi bella_! No one is coming after you, I swear it!" Zevran hurriedly replied, holding fast to her even as she struggled. "I would  **never**  let them come for you!"

"But they  _know_ , don't they Zevran? They know about me and this curse upon me!" Riel was crying now, hysterics clouding her mind just as tears clouded her sight.

"Riel, please, listen to me!" Zevran firmly yet gently took hold of her chin and lifted her gaze to meet his. The look of pure fear he saw in her eyes twisted his stomach and called out his protective instincts demanding that he care for this precious woman. "The Templars do not know of you. I and the others made sure of it. And even if they did, I would  _ **never**_  let them hurt you,  _mi bella_. You must believe that."

"But the others? Leliana? Morrigan?"

Zevran sighed before he answered, hating it. "Yes, they know." Riel tried struggling in his arms again, yet he gently held her still. "However, it doesn't matter to them. Not to Leliana or the mages. Not to the rock giant Shale. Sten only mumbled in his own language yet said nothing else."

"What of Alistair? He was a  _Templar_ , Zevran!" Riel interrupted, barely containing herself.

"Grey Warden or no, I will gut him if even thinks of alerting his former brothers of you,  _mi bella_. There is nothing -  _ **nothing**_  - that I would not do to keep you safe. Please, you must believe me."

Riel quit struggling against him and instead leapt into his arms. Fear, grief, guilt, and love swirled around inside of her as she held onto Zevran for dear life. Zevran held tightly to her, letting her tears come as she cried away her fears. He absolutely despised the amount of terror she lived in, and how he was powerless to do anything about it. Templars were a constant threat everywhere except the Imperium, where instead of magic being shunned it was celebrated. However, the cost of such a freedom often came in the form of power struggles, blood magic, and demonic deals for power over their fellow mages.

Templars in the Tevinter Imperium were nothing more than puppets to the mages who controlled everything, even the Chantry there. However, it was still a dangerous place for anyone who was not of status or played the dark and deadly games of power that permeated the culture there. In truth, there was no where in all of Thedas that a mage living outside of the Circle was safe. And even a great many of those within the many Circles were not safe, either.

However, Zevran knew he would take them all on just to keep his Warden happy and free from harm. Mage or no, he loved her. To him, she was simply Riel. His goddess. When it came to her, Zevran knew he would render the Maker himself unto the world if it meant keeping Riel free.

"The others," Riel whispered against his chest after several moments, her voice still wavering but calmer than it had been. "They left for Redcliff, didn't they?"

"Yes. Leliana came and spoke to me before they left. She said that they were going to go and help the child Connor, as well as do what they could for the arl. Afterwards, she said they would meet with us outside of Orzammar."

Riel shuddered against him, a release of tension escaping her body. She was then quiet for several minutes before her soft voice reached up to his ears. "I don't want to stay here, Zevran. Not so close to the Templars. Or the Circle. It's all just… too close…"

"Of course,  _mi bella_. We can leave in the morning, or if you prefer, even this evening. I need you to know something, though,  _mi bella_ …" Zevran tilted her face up to meet his again. "You  **are**  safe with me."

"I know," she replied even as tears still ran down her cheeks. "And yet…"

"When do you want to leave?"

"Now."


	22. A Perfect Meal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi diosa bella: Antivan. "My beautiful goddess."
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Pendejos de mierda: Antivan. "Fucking assholes."
> 
> Liberación del Lirio: Antivan. "Lily's Release."

Alistair paced the spacious and luxurious office that belonged to his uncle, the Arl of Redcliff. Upstairs, Wynne, Morrigan and the other mages were attempting their ritual on the boy Connor, and they had been at it for more than two hours already. Yet still no word had come down to him or the others waiting in the main room.

"If you are not careful, Alistair, you are going to wear a hole in the arl's carpet."

Alistair looked over to the door and saw the redhaired rogue smiling at him in the jovial manner she usually had. However, Alistair was too stressed and tired to banter back with the woman.

"I think a hole in the arl's carpet would be the  _least_  of his worries, Leliana," Alistair snapped back. Growling to himself, Alistair once more ran his hand through his hair as he tried to reign in his anger. "What is taking so long? It has been  _hours_  since they disappeared into that room!"

"Is this really about Connor, Alistair?" Leliana asked softly, her hands clasped in front of her.

"What? Of course it is! Connor is-"

"Being taken care of. Irving himself said that he was going into the Fade to do battle against the demon. However, I don't think he is the mage you are most worried about, right now."

Alistair leveled a lethal stare at her, his arms folded across the metal breastplate of his armor. Armor  _she_  had bought for him. In fact, she had bought most of the armor and weapons that they all carried. Sure, some was what could be salvaged from enemies, such as accessories or maybe a blade. However most of what their equipment was bought from with the coin they had either gained through salvage or from the odd jobs that seemed to pop up everywhere they went. Almost all of the buying and selling was done by  _her_ , though.

"I am  _worried_  about Connor," he sneered back at Leliana. "And the arl. And this whole mess. Not to mention the pressing Darkspawn and the-" Alistair's angry tirade was cut off by Leliana marching over to him and smacking his across his face. "Ow! Leliana! What in the name of the Maker did you do that for?"

"I am tired of your sulking, Alistair. Of your angry looks and foul moods every time Riel and Zevran are together!" Leliana hissed, her eyes narrowed to a point as she glared at him.

"She had  _ **no right**_  to keep that from us!" Alistair roared back, his face mottled from anger.

"She had  _ **every**_  right, Alistair. It isn't like mages are exactly treated very fairly, are they?"

"Riel is a Grey Warden now. She is beyond the control of the Circle and the Chantry!"

"Think about where she came from! Do you think that she could just forget about all that once she joined the Wardens?"

"What does the Dalish have to do with it?"

"You know as well I do that is not what I was talking about, Alistair! I meant  _before_  she was with the Dalish," seethed Leliana, trying and failing to keep her voice low enough so others wouldn't hear.

Shame mixed with horror flickered in Alistair's eyes before quickly disappearing behind the cloak of anger he was feeling. Alistair turned away from Leliana and silently walked over to the fireplace, silence filling the space between them. Leliana let him have his quiet for a few minutes before taking a breath to calm herself and again trying to reason with the man.

"We have all heard her nightmares, Alistair," Leliana said with a sigh. "We have all seen the way she reacts to being touched. And we all have seen how much better she has gotten since Zevran joined us."

"Why  _him_  though?" he replied, still staring at the fire before him.

"You mean, why not  _you_."

"I've been with her since Ostagar, Leliana. We've fought together, travelled together, and even spent a lot of time going over tactics and strategies and what it means to be a Warden."

"Have you ever asked her  _why_  she does it, though?"

Alistair turned his head and looked on the rogue with a puzzled look on his face. "Why she does what?"

"Fight," she replied plainly, yet still Alistair looked upon as if she had grown a second head. Sighing, she tried again. "Battle against the Darkspawn. Gather these treaties. Do all these small jobs for people she barely knows."

"It's what a Warden does," shrugged Alistair, still as confused as before.

"Fighting against the Darkspawn  _is_  what a Grey Warden does, but  _why_  is she a Warden? Did you ever ask her?"

"Duncan didn't say much about it, really," he shrugged. "Only that he felt she would make a great Warden."

"Agreeing to join a lifelong battle against Darkspawn isn't something many people do, Alistair. And of those that do become Wardens, I can't imagine many of them are of Dalish origin."

"Most Wardens I have met were city people, actually. Elves, humans, dwarves… I actually think Riel is the first Dalish Warden that I've ever met."

"So Riel is a woman from an obviously abused past, living among the Dalish. Hiding her true nature even from them I am guessing, or else Duncan would have known and told you. Correct?" At Alistair's slight nod, Leliana continued on as she walked over to where he was. "She is then thrust into a war against Darkspawn, Loghain's bid for power, and forced to gather allies and companions who she doesn't know in order to fight against the Blight."

"I don't understand."

"What I am saying, Alistair, is that I do not blame Riel for not trusting us. Everything that has happened so far has not been of her own choosing. Joining the Wardens, gathering these treaties and allies, travelling over all of Ferelden. Even leading us has been put on her out of necessity rather than choice. None of this has been of her  _choosing_."

"She chose to be the leader, Leliana," retorted Alistair, his voice stern.

"No, she didn't Alistair. All of us since the beginning have followed her lead. Her decisions. Even when we left Lothering, it was her choice to go to Denerim in search of Genitivi. It was her choice to free the Qunari, Sten. It was her choice to allow Bodahn and Sandal come with us. It was even her choice to go the Circle tower in search of mages to help Connor, despite how afraid she must have been of them finding out about her."

"Okay, so it was her choices, and we have followed them. I still don't understand what any of this has to do with her bedding that damn assassin!" Alistair angrily spat out, his frustration returning to reignite his earlier anger.

"She leads us, and we follow her. Because of the Blight and Ferelden and the war that is coming. Which of us however, chose to follow just  _her_? I had a vision of the Maker, telling me to follow the Grey Wardens in their fight against the Blight. Morrigan joined because her mother thought that her magic would be useful to you. Sten joined not because Riel freed him, but out of regaining his honor by fighting the Blight. Even Wynne has joined with us because she wants to lend her magic to the cause. All of us, we joined the  _Wardens_. However, how many joined because of  _Riel_?"

" **I**  did!" Alistair shouted, pointing at his metal clad chest.

"You have the same mission that she does, Alistair. Like her, fighting the Blight is something you must do as a Grey Warden. You fight beside Riel for the same reason that we all do. To combat the Blight and the Darkspawn."

"I fight to  _protect_  her!"

"Of course you do. So do all of us, Alistair. We may have joined for our own reasons, however we each now fight as much for Riel herself as we do against the Blight. She has become special to all of us."

"And yet that assassin-"

"Chose to follow Riel because she was  _ **already**_  special to him," Leliana interrupted him once more. "I remember when you came back to camp that night, Alistair. I remember the way that he looked at Riel and how he treated her. He didn't see her as a Grey Warden, out to combat a Blight and therefore needed allies in doing so. He looked at her as someone who needed protecting, because that is what his very instincts told him to do."

"Ugh…" Alistair grumbled as he turned back towards the fire. "She still could have told me she was a….  _you_  know…" he mumbled without looking up.

"Riel is an incredibly strong woman. She also has been hurt  _very_  badly in her past. Somehow I don't think her telling an ex-Templar that she is a…  _you know_ … was high on her list of things to do, Alistair."

"I wouldn't use that against her! By the Maker, I  _ **care**_  about her! I would never hurt her like that!" he exclaimed, a look of offence and disbelief on his face.

"If you care about her, Alistair, then you should see how happy she is with Zevran. You should  _want_  her to be that happy."

"Leliana, he's an  _assassin_!" Alistair spitted out the word as if the word itself was dirty and foul in his mouth. "She can't trust him! Who is to say that he isn't getting close to her just so he could offer her up to Loghain the next time we are in Denerim?"

"If you truly believe that, Alistair, then you are more blind than I thought," she said with a sigh, shaking her head. "If you are so able to let go of who you once were, then do not think that Zevran should be given the same option?"

"Assassins  _ **don't**_  change, Leliana."

" **I**  did…" Leliana whispered, not bothering to hide the hurt in her voice.

"Leliana, I didn't mean-" Alistair rushed out, however Leliana held up her hand, stopping him.

"We are not so different, Zevran and I. We have both done things in our past that we regret. And we both have chosen to put those regrets aside and now instead follow what our hearts tell us. The only difference is that he has found his heart's desire, and I am still waiting for…." Leliana stopped, seeming unable to continue.

"Waiting for what?" Alistair asked, noticing her pause.

Leliana just smiled and shook her head. "Do not worry about it, Alistair. I should go check on the others, see if they heard anything from Irving or the other mages." Leliana then quickly left the room, leaving Alistair once more alone.

Alistair stood there for a moment, confused over Leliana's words. However, the thing that his mind kept coming back to again and again was Riel and how badly she had been hurt in her past. Despite what Leliana might think, he wasn't a fool. He had heard Riel's nightmares and how she cried alone in her tent. And each time, Alistair would pray to the Maker that he could be able to comfort her.

"Of course!" Alistair whispered to himself.  _If all of them had heard Riel at night, then so had that blasted assassin! That was how he knew to get close to her!_

Alistair's mind then went on to piece together the events they had been through, seeing every attempt by Zevran to get close to Riel as part of his plan. A plan to seduce the traumatized woman and get her to trust him before offering Riel and the rest of her companions up to Loghain.

"I won't let it happen!" he hissed, his eyes locked on the fire in front of him. "Maker be my witness, I  _ **won't**_  let that elf hurt her!"

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"Time to awaken,  _mi diosa bella_ …"

Riel smiled without opening her eyes, the sweet sound of the Antivan accent rousing her from her dreams. Yes,  _dreams_. She hadn't had a nightmare in days now. And the relief was not only evident on her reduced stress, but on her whole body. Aches and pains that she had grown accustomed to stopped bothering her, and her headaches had all but disappeared. For the first time in her life, Riel didn't wake up every morning afraid or panicked due to the horrors she had experienced. Now, she woke with a smile on her face and a languid feel to her muscles as she opened her eyes to meet the loving gaze of her lover.

"Did I oversleep?" Riel replied with a yawn.

"Not at all,  _mi bella_. In fact I rather enjoy watching you sleep. However, I wanted to make sure that you ate properly, and so have managed to scour the perfect meal despite the rather disappointing lack of resources this area presents."

Riel laughed softly, wondering to herself what kind of 'meal' he could have gathered. They were after all, in the middle of the wilderness next to the Frostback Mountains. A place not well known for its abundance of wild foodstuffs. In fact, their meals since leaving Lake Calenhad a few days ago had been somewhat lean, consisting mostly of dried meat thrown into a pot of water to boil, along with perhaps a few wild roots if they were lucky.

The subject of food itself was a bit of strain on their nightly talks, in fact. With Zevran insisting every night that she eat her full before he would even eat a mouthful of his share. And if she tried to argue with him, saying that she was used to not eating much or that he needed to eat as much as she did, he would almost become angry with her. Not that Zevran ever yelled or even raised his voice to her. However, he would set his jaw in that particular way that told Riel that his mind was set and he wouldn't be budged.

Overall though, their journey together towards the Frostbacks had been nothing short of wonderful for Riel. Each day they would rise and share a small portion of their daily food, then pack together their meager camp and continue westward until night was nearly upon them. Only once did they run into Darkspawn. Scouts, Riel figured, as they were only three of them and far away from the main horde. Together with Zevran at her side, the foul things hadn't lasted long, and to their bonus even had several healing potions on their bodies.

Other than the Darkspawn, the only real thing that threatened the couple were the elements themselves. Colder winds and sharp rain would slow them down as they either took shelter in their tent or against a tree as they waited for the weather to turn. And of course their quickly disappearing food supplies were also a threat as well. Game all but being nonexistent this close to the cold and barren mountains.

Only once in the week since the two of them had left the lake had they either of them even spotted a deer, however it quickly bounded away and out of sight before either Riel or Zevran could get within throwing distance for one of their daggers. The experience made Riel wish she had taken Leliana up on her offer weeks ago to have her teach Riel how to use a bow.

"Come eat,  _mi bella_ , before the food gets cold," Zevran urged Riel as she reached for her tunic and pulled it over her head.

"Zevran, you didn't have to…" she laughed softly as she followed him out of the tent. Suddenly she stopped, the sweet smell of cooking meat assaulting her senses and bringing her ignored hunger to a roaring front. "Mmmm… What is that smell?" she asked, her mouth watering.

Zevran smiled and led her over to the fire where he laid out one of the dried skins they had over the cold and wet ground. On a spit over the fire was a large haunch of some kind of animal, and down lower was a pot boiling with some kind of dark liquid. Riel looked up at Zevran, her eyes beginning to water with gratitude.

"Zevran… I…"

"Shh,  _mi bella_ … You have not seen the best part," Zevran smiled, a look of pure mischief and pride in his eyes. Gently he helped her sit down on the animal skin before reaching over to a small pile of dried leaves near the fire. Pushing away the leaves, he produced one of their bowls, the contents bringing a pleasured gasp of excitement from Riel.

"Berries!" she exclaimed as her eyes took in the small bounty.

"I found them while I was out hunting. And do not worry, they not poisonous. I tested them to make sure," Zevran stated, his chest puffed out in pride.

Reverently Riel picked up one of the dark purple mounds, the juice of it leaking down her thumb as she popped it into her mouth. Instantly her eyes rolled in pleasure as the taste hit her.

"Mmm! They taste just like the berries some of my clan would find when we travelled west during the summer!"

Zevran couldn't help but smile broadly as he watched his Riel enjoy what he had found for her. This was the reaction he had hoped for, appraising and gathering each berry that he felt was good enough for her beautiful lips. Combined with the young doe he managed to find and kill, Zevran finally felt that perhaps the gods were answering his prayers. For too many days had he prayed to the gods above to provide him a way to take care of his woman. A prayer that Zevran was beginning to feel was being ignored until he all but stumbled upon the deer eating from the same bush that these berries came from.

Using every skill that he knew in the manner of stealth and blending in amongst shadows, Zevran got as close as he dared to the doe before launching himself upon its back and savagely sinking his dagger deep into the animal's neck. The action was feral and born out of a need as primal and inborn as any predatory creature as it hunted its prey. A need to provide for those under his care. Namely, his promised wife and reason for living. His Warden. His Riel.

It was when he was standing over the dying creature at his feet, panting heavily and covered in blood, that Zevran felt the closest he ever had to deserving of her. True, he most likely would never feel as if he were good enough for his precious Warden. But today… Today she would eat. And she would eat well. And it was all because of him. Because of what he managed to do. And didn't that just cause a huge swell of pride and self worth inside of him.

Zevran had then quickly set to work butchering and cleaning the animal. It would take a while to tan the skin and dry the meat from the animal enough for travel, but he figured that they were far enough from any Templars or possible assassins that they could perhaps rest for a day or so. In fact, it was only because of the mountains they camped at the base of that Zevran had any idea where they were at all. After all, there was no mistaking the large mountains with their snow covered peaks and curves that bordered the lands between Ferelden and Orlais.

After Zevran had set the spit over the fire to cook, he quickly went to the stream they camped by and washed off all the blood and gore that had gathered on him. Then he returned to the camp, gathered a bowl they had used for eating, and returned to the bush where he had killed the doe. After testing the berries on himself to make sure they were not poisonous, Zevran gathered as many ripe and perfect berries as he could before returning to the camp and setting forth the rest of his plans.

"It fills me with joy that you are enjoying them,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran purred as he watched her take another bite.

"Here, have one," she offered, holding out the bowl for him.

"No, they are for you," he replied, holding up his hand against the bowl. "It is enough to know that you enjoy them."

"Zevran, please…" Riel pleaded, picking a berry up and offering it to him directly. "Take one."

Zevran looked at her outstretched hand, the fingers lightly covered in the juice from the berries. Perhaps it was the pleading look in her eyes, or simply his inability to refuse her that led to Zevran slowly opening his mouth for her. Smiling in triumph, Riel gently placed the luscious fruit on his tongue. However, when she tried to pull her hand back, Zevran took hold of it, licking first at her fingers, then down her palm where the berry juice had ran.

"Mmmm…. delicious…." he whispered heatedly, staring at her through hooded eyes.

"Something tells me it's not the berries you mean," Riel laughed.

Zevran answered her by darting forward and taking her mouth, kissing her with a desperate passion that seemed to accompany every kiss they now shared. As if it hadn't been just hours since he felt her against him, and instead it felt as if weeks or months had passed since he had her last. The hunger he felt her was the same as well. Something never sated, and always eager for more for her. Of the feel of her skin against his. Of the taste of her mouth. Of the feel of her tightness around him as he made love to her.

Each night they had camped, he had taken her. And each time she was just as eager for him as he was for her. Sometimes they would even enjoy each other two or three times before sleep finally claimed the both of them. And yet despite all that, each time felt as the first had. As a completeness Zevran had never felt before. A feeling of finally being whole after a lifetime of being only a single part.

"Mmm… should we be taking this back inside the tent, ser elf?" Riel crooned against his mouth before looking up into his eyes. "The wind might still be a bit chilly on my bare skin this morning. Although," she paused as he reached for the leather armor covering him. "I supposed you could always find a way to warm me up…"

Zevran laughed at her forthright behavior. How so much had changed in his Riel since their time by the lake. Where he had no doubt that Riel would probably still react negatively to anyone but him trying to touch her, when it was just the two of them… Slowly his Riel was becoming more bold and forward with her affections. It was just another thing that Zevran took pride in when it came to her. That he was able to help her finally open up and become more comfortable with her body and what it craved.

"Again you amaze me,  _mi bella_ ," he chuckled lightly as he stared into her amazing silver eyes. "Most women would be shoving away their man by now, claiming to be sore from all the...  _exercise_ … they had endured in such a short amount of time."

"Believe me Zevran, I  **know**  what  _sore_  feels like," Riel teased back, her arms coming around his neck and holding onto him. "What you do - what  _we_  do - that doesn't make me sore in the least."

Riel had meant the comment to be joking; just a light tease in the same way he teased her. However she wasn't expecting the dark look of anger to wash over his features as she looked up at him. Surprised, she pulled back a little, one of her hands coming forward to rest on his face.

"Zevran…?"

"I  **hate**  what was done to you, Riel," he finally said, his voice a dark hiss of anger instead of the sweet purr he usually had when he spoke to her. "Hate isn't even a strong enough of a word to describe it. That someone -  _ **anyone**_  - could hurt you like that…." his voice slightly broke then, his own hand coming to rest on her cheek.

"Oh Zevran…" Riel sadly gasped as Zevran gathered her up into his arms, holding onto her tightly.

"I will  **never**  let anyone ever hurt you again,  _mi bella_. And if you had not killed them yourself, I would gladly hunt down each of those  _pendejos de mierda_ and show them the  **true**  meaning of Crow torture!" Zevran's voice was pure venom and hatred as he spoke, frightening Riel a bit with the depth of anger that laced through it.

"Shh… Zevran… I'm fine now. They're gone," whispered, trying to calm him by running her hand through his golden hair.

Zevran lifted her chin and kissed her again, the heated passion from before being replaced by a more feral and carnal need. As if he needed to mark her with his touch so anyone who saw her would know who exactly they would be pissing off if they endangered her in any way. Riel took it all of his pained need and returned it, embracing his passion with her own.

Slowly Zevran's hand moved down her face to her neck, lightly caressing the skin with the soft touches of his fingers. Then further down it drifted, before it stopped over her breast. Gently he cupped her through the fabric of her tunic, eliciting a soft moan from Riel, her lips still fused against his own. Zevran ran his thumb over the peak of her nipple before massaging the flesh in a slow circular motion. Again Riel moaned, her hips lifting slightly in response to his touches.

"Riel…" he voiced huskily against her lips.

"Yes?" The sound was more moan than words, and it sent a wave of pure pleasure down his spine and straight to that part of him that yearned to be inside of her.

"You need to eat…" Zevran growled, pulling himself from her and reaching for the plate of cooked meat he had prepared earlier for her.

"Zevran…" Riel half groaned, half laughed.

" _First_  you eat," he insisted, picking up a piece and offering it up to her mouth. "Then I take you back to the tent and ravish you until we are both blind from pleasure," he added with a wink.

"You better,  _mi amor_ ," Riel laughed before accepting the piece of meat offered to her.

"Trust me,  _mi bella_ , I would never leave you  _hungry_ …" he replied as he picked up another piece of meat and placed it into her mouth. The double meaning not lost on Riel, and she smiled wickedly, loving the look of passion in his eyes as he fed her.

When Riel had finished almost all of the meat on the plate, Zevran adjusted Riel on his lap so he could reach the pot of now boiling liquid. Carefully he poured the contents into a wooden mug and handed her the liquid.

"What is this?" she asked as she sniffed the dark liquid she held.

"You did not think that your perfect meal would be complete without the perfect beverage, did you?" Zevran replied with a laugh. "This my dear sweet Warden is a special drink that is known in Antiva. It is made with a mixture of select herbs, however, it's true flavor is not reached until it is blended with fresh honey. The herbs themselves I had stashed in my pack for a special occasion, and this morning did I come across the honey. I knew then that I had to make you this very special drink that I have carried with me for so long."

Riel beamed at him, her voice momentarily lost in the gratitude and love she felt just then. With wet eyes, she blew softly over the rim of the mug and took her first taste. And Creators, was it delicious! The heat from the liquid ran through her like a warm summer day, heating her from the inside out. A light spice stayed on her tongue even after she swallowed, almost sizzling in her mouth before the sensation washed over over her. Riel actually groaned in pleasure when she breathed in the cool mountain air, the contrast between the hot drink and cold air causing another wash of sensations through her.

"You have no idea how much it pleases me to see you drink this,  _mi bella_ …" Zevran purred, his hand lighting stroking her back as she sat in his lap.

"Creators, what is this? It's amazing!" Riel replied before taking another luxurious sip from the mug. Again the sensations hit her, almost stronger than before.

"It is called  _Liberación del Lirio_ , Lily's Release."

"That sounds beautiful, Zevran," she smiled, before kissing him.

"It is special drink where I am from,  _mi bella_. Normally it is only taken during celebrations, however if it is brewed with prayers for the gods in mind, and then given to a woman who a man desires, it becomes something more."

"And what is that?"

"A proposal."

"A proposal? Like for marriage?" Riel asked, her face lit up in a beautiful smile.

"I know I have already asked you to marry me, but I felt a need to give you this as well," Zevran answered, his voice thick with emotion. "And I also wanted to tell you that when we are able, I plan on contacting the Dalish and putting together a proper Dalish bonding for the two of us."

"Oh Zevran!" she exclaimed, almost spilling the drink in hands as hugged him to her with one arm. "Do you mean it? Wait… What about the Blight?"

"I know how much the Dalish mean to you,  _mi bella_. You may be a Warden now, but a large part of your heart is still with your people. The people who rescued you and sheltered you for so many years."

"And the Blight?"

"The Archdemon will be there waiting whether we are bonded together or not,  _mi bella_. If it must wait until after you vanquish the beast, then so be it. However, I was hoping that when he contact the Dalish of the purposes of your Grey Warden treaties, I may inquire of them then. That is, if you do not object."

"In that case, I accept, Zevran. Again," Riel added with a soft giggle that was quickly lost as Zevran kissed her deeply. Again her drink almost spilled as she lost herself to his touch and the feel of his lips on her own.

"Mmm… You should finish your drink,  _mi bella_. The proposal is only  _officially_  accepted when the mug is emptied and returned back to the suitor who offered it," he crooned against the feel of her lips.

Riel smiled broadly before lifting the mug and taking huge swallows of it, drinking it down completely in a matter of seconds. Then with a wicked tint to her eyes, she handed the now empty mug back to Zevran. "Anything else?" she quipped, her features a gorgeous mixture of desire and mischief.

"Only for me to show my complete devotion to you,  _mi amor_ …" Zevran replied in a husky tone before managing somehow to stand up with her still in his arms. He then carried her back to the tent that they shared, Riel soft laugh in his ears as he ducked them inside and closed the fabric flap behind him.


	23. Words Are Not Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Chapter rated Mature for adult content! 18+
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Mi diosa: Antivan. "My goddess."
> 
> Emma lath: Elvhen. "My love."
> 
> Mi tentadora élfica: Antivan. "My elven temptress."
> 
> Ma emma uthlath, na'vhenan na ethin'ma: Elvhen. "My eternal love, your heart is safe within me."
> 
> Ma sa'lath: Elvhen. "My one love."

Riel and Zevran stayed at their camp at the base of mountain for several days. Together they worked to dry the meat from the deer that Zevran had killed, as well as drying some local herbs that Riel had recognized from her days among her clan. Although she was far from proficient in knowing which plants had what effects, Riel did remember a few things such as how to recognize elfroot and tell it apart from the similar looking deathroot. One healed, one poisoned, so it was an important first lesson the Keeper had taught her back in those early days.

During the day they kept close to the camp as they explored the area, looking for edible plants or useful herbs. Riel even managed to catch a couple rabbits in a snare she had set up. Lean meat, true, and certainly not something you ever wanted to depend on to survive starvation, but it was a nice add to their already drying meat and skins.

During the night, Riel would sit with her back against Zevran, their position more habit than a conscious thing now. As natural as breathing, it was something both of them seemed to expect of the other while they sat and watched the fire burn. And with the lazy schedule they kept those few days, it left ample time for their love making. Either during morning when they first awoke, the afternoon after they had washed at the stream, or during the evening after they cuddled by the fire.

Lying together now under the stars above, spent and satisfied, Riel thought of a question that she had been meaning to ask her elven lover. However, she knew that once asked, he would most likely inquire the same of her. And that would open a lot of questions and most likely hurt feelings, as she was forced to speak more of her past. However, lying as they were, their bodies still together as he rested his head off to the side of her shoulder, Riel could no longer keep the question inside for some reason.

"Zevran?"

"Hmhm?" he answered wordlessly, placing a kiss against her bare shoulder.

"How old are you?"

Zevran lifted his head and looked down at her. It wasn't a question he expected. Although thinking on it, it made sense that she would be curious. It was one of the few things that they still hadn't spoken off. Age being something strange to measure each other by, giving the type of lives that they lived. Assassins were more measured by the amount of years they had managed to stay alive  _after_  they became what they were. A successful one living perhaps a few decades until they either died by competition, a mark, or through a failing of their own aging body. Only a rare few ever managed to live long enough to achieve the status of 'elder', and even then they were hunted by their kin and other assassins for the the power and prestige that the killer would get for managing to take one of them out.

It was a life that Zevran had resigned himself to years ago when he was still a lad training to become a Crow. Yet now that he met his Riel, he knew that life was no longer for him. True, there would be others who hunted for him because of his status as a Crow. However he would broker them no easy death on his part. Before, all he had to protect was his reputation and the farce of life that he lived. Now, he had his Warden, and the life that he would provide for her. And he intended on living a  _very_  long time by her side.

Zevran paused as he tried to recall the exact years given how old he was when he had joined the Crows until he accepted the mission here in Ferelden. "From what I can remember, I have seen twenty six summers since my mother gave birth to me," he answered truthfully.

"Oh," Riel replied back, her eyes watching her finger trace the tattoo on Zevran's shoulder. Zevran waited for her to say more, yet when she didn't, he got curious.

"And you,  _mi bella_? That is, if you wish to tell me."

"Eighteen," she quickly stated, her eyes still locked on his tattoo. "Or at least, that's what I think. Keeper Marethari wasn't sure though when she examined me after I was found."

"And you were with the Dalish for several years you said?" Zevran asked, full realization coming upon him even as he dreaded it.

Riel nodded, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "I was with the the Dalish for three years before Duncan came."

"So you escaped-" Zevran stopped himself before he continued, cursing himself for even saying that much as he witnessed the tears fall down her cheeks.

"I told you that I don't know who my real parents are. I was with those  _two_ ," Riel chose her words carefully, knowing Zevran hated it when she called those that abused her her 'masters'. "I was with them ever since I can remember."

" _Mi bella_ ," cursed Zevran as he rolled off of her.

Although he hated being free from her after they made love, being inside her when such memories came to her was not something Zevran could put either of them through. To have something as beautiful and special as his time with his Riel tainted by the evil in her past stoked the fire of his anger. And he couldn't bear it if she ever began to associate the love they shared with the memories from her past. So instead he just rolled onto his back and pulled her up against him, holding her tightly to his chest as she worked through her emotions.

He didn't blame her for what happened or the times when her memories came between them. It would take more time than just the few days they had spent together to erase her past from her mind, and a part of Zevran doubted that it would ever truly leave her at all.

"I'm sorry, Zevran!" Riel pleaded as he pulled her against him. "I didn't mean to ruin this!"

"You didn't ruin anything,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran smiled before pulling her up so he could kiss her.

"You moved away from me though…"

"Only because I didn't want you to think of me in the same light as those…-" Zevran couldn't bring himself to call those who hurt her anything other than whatever vile words first came to his mouth.

"I would never think that," whispered Riel as she straddled his waist. "I'm sorry I even brought it up. I was just curious about how old you were…"

"Never apologize to me for your past or your curiosity,  _mi bella_. I will answer anything you have to ask of me to the best of my ability." Zevran pulled her face down to his, kissing her softly while his hands caressed her bare back.

" _Anything_ , huh?" she replied, her voice pure mischief as she looked down into his eyes.

"Anything,  _mi amor_. Although I do wonder what wicked things you are thinking of with such a tone in your voice," Zevran replied with a laugh.

"Did you like being an assassin?"

The question floored Zevran, as it was not something that he ever thought she would ever ask. Thinking for a moment of the best way to answer, he simply met her gaze and responded truthfully. "I did. I enjoyed the hunt. The way I could outwit even the best guard or defences. And I enjoyed ending my target's life. It was a pleasure like nothing else, watching the life drain from their eyes." Zevran waited a few moments before asking his own question. "Does that disturb you, Riel?"

Riel shook her head as her fingers danced along a particular curl of the tattoos on his chest. "No. I actually think I understand," she finally stated, her eyes not leaving his chest. "There were people I've killed. Before joining the Wardens. A human who stumbled upon me and a-... a  _friend…_." Zevran wasn't sure that he liked the way she paused when she talked about this  _friend_. "I ended up slitting his throat from behind with my dagger. And yet, I didn't feel bad about it. It actually made me feel kind of…  _relieved_."

"And since joining the Wardens?"

Again she was quiet for a moment before she answered, and Zevran waited patiently while she found the words. "There have been people - bandits, gang members, cultists, even blood mages who I've killed since becoming a Warden. I remember the moment when my blade took their life, and I remember each time the shock of their death upon them as the light faded from their eyes until they were nothing but lifeless corpses."

"And how does this make you feel,  _mi bella_?"

"When they died… When I  _ **killed**_  them… I felt nothing. They were trying to kill me or someone else in our group. And after the battle was over and I stood over their cold bodies, I felt…  _good_. And not just because that I was standing and my friends were safe and that they were not."

"There is nothing wrong with that, Riel."

"Isn't there though?" Riel met his eyes then, tears falling down her cheeks again. "I was  _happy_  that I killed them. Human or dwarf, Qunari or even another elf. It didn't matter to me. I killed them, and I was  _thrilled_. Doesn't that make me a bad person?"

Zevran sat up, keeping Riel in his lap as he held her. "No,  _mi bella_. It makes you mortal. To find happiness at the end of battle when your allies stand and your enemies lay dead at your feat… That is something that I would expect anyone to feel if they were put into the same situation," he replied, cupping her cheek in his hand.

"I  _wanted_  to kill them though, Zevran. To hurt them as they have others. As I was hurt. And when I took their lives from them, it made me want to do it again and again until there was nothing around me but blood and dead bodies." Riel was fully crying now. "And Creators help me, I  _enjoyed_  it. Knowing that they couldn't hurt anyone again… Before becoming close to you, it was the only time I was ever really  _happy_."

"Shh,  _mi bella_ … there is nothing wrong with that," Zevran crooned as he held her to him.

"Maybe not for a normal person Zevran… However, I'm not  _normal_ , am I?"

"I personally like how you are not  _normal_  like everyone else," he laughed briefly.

"I am a-... a-..." Riel paused, finding it difficult to even voice the word.

"A gorgeous and sexy temptress?" Zevran winked, causing Riel to smile despite her mood. Which is exactly what he was trying to do.

"You know what I mean! A… a  _mage_ …" she whispered the last word, still terrified that Templars would come crashing out of the bushes around them, ready to lock her up or make her Tranquil.

"Oh, yes. That too," Zevran replied in the same joking manner.

"Zevran, I'm being serious! What if this hatred… This lust for blood and death… What if it calls a demon to me? I've managed to stay hidden from demons so far, but what if it just one time and I slip up? Just once letting my anger or my hatred get the better of me and a demon uses that to take advantage of me? Ever since the Circle Tower and I saw just what could happen when a mage fails to guard against the demons just  _one_  time… I don't want to become an abomination, Zevran!"

"That will  _ **never**_  happen,  _mi bella_ ," he whispered to her before placing a quick kiss against her lips.

"How do you know, Zevran? I  _liked_  killing those people. What if a demon uses that against me? What if I let my anger get out of control and I  _let_  a demon inside of me?"

"Riel, I want you to feel this, right here," Zevran stated as he placed her hand on his chest over his heart. "Do you feel that?"

"Your heart?" she replied, confused.

"That isn't my heart,  _mi bella_. That is yours. Your heart has beat within my chest from the moment you told me that you loved me. Just as my heart beats within your chest." Riel lifted her other hand and placed it over the beating in her own chest. "And as long as you have my heart within you, no demon can take you,  _mi bella_. Whenever you feel tempted or afraid, place your hand upon your chest and feel my heart there. Telling you with every beat that you are loved, and desired, and wanted. And that no matter what, I will always be there to protect you."

"Oh Zevran…."

"To me, enjoying killing every rotten and corrupt bastard that you come across is actually an endearing quality I find anyway," he stated, a sly smile on his face her he looked at her.

"Zevran, you are  _so_ bad…" Riel laughed despite the unhinged emotions plaguing her.

"Actually, from what I remember of only just a few minutes ago, I am actually pretty  _good_ … Unless you plan on shattering my poor ego and telling me you were faking those releases that I gave to you."

Riel laughed again, feeling the previous tension leaving her. "I don't know… I might need a reminder…" she teased back before leaning in to kiss him.

"Oh how you wound me,  _mi bella_. That my affections are so easily forgotten is a unbearable weight on my consciousness! I need to correct this, and make sure that you  _ **never**_  forget it again…" he purred before lightly nipping at her neck before placing languid kisses from her jaw down to her collarbone.

"And how do you plan on doing that, ser elf?" she teased back even as her back arched from his touches.

"I think I may know a way,  _mi bella_. However, it may take a bit of time to leave a proper  _lasting_  impression. Do you feel that you are up to such a venture?"

Riel lifted his gaze up to meet her own. "With you, ser elf, I know  _anything_  is possible."

Zevran chuckled darkly as his hands found her rear and gave it a slight squeeze. "Let's not waste any time then, my gorgeous temptress…" Zevran then ducked his head down and took her breast in his mouth, moving his tongue in tantalizing circles as he suckled her. Riel gasped breathlessly, her hands going to his hair and lightly taking hold.

Zevran's hand first found her other breast, massaging it tenderly before it roamed lower between them stopping when it found her heated core. With his other arm wrapped around her waist to hold her against him, Zevran dragged his thumb over her core then back up to the sensitive nub of flesh that rested just above it. The husky and lust filled moan Riel made as he touched her encouraged him further, managing to place first one finger inside of her slick heat, then another. Still he rubbed her with his thumb as his fingers worked the inside of her.

"Oh Creators!" Riel moaned a moment before a powerful orgasm shot through her.

Growling in approval, Zevran laid his wife to be back on the furs and skins beneath them. The night air was cool despite the fire beside them, however all Riel could feel was his glorious body over hers. The heat from their combined passion more than enough to keep her warm in the face of the cold mountain winds.

When she was fully on her back, Zevran took hold of her hand and brought it to his lips where he reverently kissed each beautiful tip. He then smiled wickedly down at her before bringing her hand down to meet the hand at was still pleasuring her core. Before she could guess what he was doing, Zevran placed her middle finger against her own nub, massaging the area through her own finger.

"Do you feel that,  _mi bella_? That is your hand you feel doing that," he chuckled, enjoying the look of embarrassment mixed with pleasure on her face. "I must admit, I have wondered what you would look like as you pleasured yourself. Your own fingers working your body until you suddenly explode in pleasure. Do you think you could do that,  _mi bella_?"

"Zevran, I… don't know…" she breathed, a twinge of fear and shyness in her voice.

"Do you want to try,  _mi bella_? I will be here with you, watching…. and approving I must say," he laughed again, that same dark, lusty tone to his words.

Unable to speak to the shyness and embarrassment filling her, Riel only nodded her head. Her eyes locked on him, she lightly bit her lip as Zevran's hand left her own so that that it was just hand on her sensitive bit of flesh. Zevran watched through hooded eyes as she slowly moved her fingers against the flesh, her body responding to itself in all the glorious ways a woman's body should.

"Very well done,  _mi bella_ …." he groaned before taking her free hand and letting her touch the wet slit that he still worked with his other hand. A positively wicked grin spread across his face then, as Zevran joined her hand with the one pleasuring her. "Do you feel that,  _mi bella_? Do you feel us together like that? Does it feel good?"

"Creators yes…!" she breathed out in a desperate groan, her head tossing back as she rode out another release.

"I wish you could see how beautiful you looked right now,  _mi bella_. To see you take pleasure in yourself…" he growled, watching her every movement and moan closely. "You are absolutely amazing,  _mi diosa_ ," he groaned as he positioned his body in between her legs, watching with hungry eyes at how easily they both pleasured her.

Unable to keep himself back anymore, Zevran darted forward and took her core into his mouth. Riel almost jumped off the furs beneath her, however Zevran placed a hand on her abdomen, settling her back down again. Carefully he pulled their combined fingers from inside of her before licking them both clean with great flourish. His mouth then found her core again, laving and suckling on the tender flesh there.

"By all the Gods above! Zevran!" Riel cried out in ecstasy, his mouth filling with her sweet nectar as he continued to lick and nibble at her.

Suddenly Riel reached down to him and pushed his head from her, before pulling him up and all but tossing him on to his back. Zevran couldn't help but laugh as she manhandled him, her desire and cravings evident in her shining silver eyes.

"And what naughty things are going through that beautiful mind of yours,  _mi bella_?" he teased even as she took hold of his erection with her hand lowered her lips to the tender head of it.

The torture she laved on him was nothing short of exquisite. Each swirl of her tongue or pull of her mouth bringing new definitions of pain and pleasure to his mind. With one of her hands cupping and gently massaging his sac, while the other worked in tandem with her glorious mouth, Zevran was calling on every inch of willpower he had to withstand her. Yet with every second, his resolve faded away not by small chips, but by leaps and bounds.

"Riel…  _please…_." he pleaded with her, completely unashamed in his unmanly pleas for mercy.

Riel laughed, fully enjoying the power that she had over him. "Is there something that you need,  _emma lath_?"

Zevran growled, reaching down and pulling her up his body to meet his lips in a hard yet passionate kiss. Riel moaned against his lips as one of his hands fondled her breast while the other wrapped tightly against his waist. Masterfully, he plundered her mouth. His tongue sliding and dancing over her own. He then broke the kiss and growled to her, his voice deep and thick with emotion and desire.

" _ **You**_ ,  _mi tentadora élfica_. That is what I  _ **need**_."

Riel smiled triumphantly as she straddled his waist, positioning herself so her core rested against his shaft. Zevran let out a hiss, as if the mere touch of her burned him. Yet Riel knew the sound he made well enough to know that it was pleasure that burned him, not pain.

"As much as you want me right now, would you stop if I asked you to?"

Zevran placed his hand against her cheek and stared into her eyes, wanting to make sure that she would not only hear him but see the conviction in his eyes as he spoke.

"Without question. My desires are nothing compared to your well being,  _mi amor_."

"And that is one of the many reasons that I love you,  _emma lath_ ," Riel purred as she guided him inside of her. They cried out in unison, the feeling of completeness and unity as powerful in their minds as the utter pleasure they each felt as they joined together.

After a moment of simply enjoying the feel of him inside of her, Riel began to ride him slowly. Since their first night together as lovers, she had wondered what it would be like to on top of him as they made love. And while it was just as pleasurable as when he was on top of her, this newer position awarded her something different that she hadn't expected or even experienced before. With him under her,  _she_  got to control the thrusts and speed. And Zevran was perfectly willing to give her that control too. While his hands rested on her hips, they did not force her to move faster or in a certain way.  _She_  was in complete control.

And she  _ **loved**_  it.

Bracing her hands on his chest, Riel experimented with her new control. Faster, slower, turning her hips, or if she leaned down compared to if she straightened her back… It was a glorious journey of finding just the right ways to not just pleasure him, but herself as well. Which ways excited her the most. Which ways made his eyes roll back into his head and his breath became more labored. This was power she could get used to having. And enjoy every minute of it, too.

Zevran was beside himself with pleasure. Never before had he ever seen something so lovely as his Warden riding him. Especially when she arched her back and the moonlight hit her skin in just the right way that she seemed to literally glow from the inside. Each glide and thrust was pure torture, the need to climax clawing at his mind and body. However, he used every last bit of resolve he had to hold it off for just a little bit longer. Zevran could see the enjoyment his Riel was having she rode him, finding which ways pleased her most. And Gods help him, she was glorious in her experiments. It was literally all he could do to hold himself off, although he knew that it wouldn't be long before he could no longer hold himself back.

" _Mi bella_ …" Zevran moaned meekly, a desperate need in his voice as he stared up Riel.

"Mhmm, I think I know what you need, ser elf," she breathed heavily before leaning down and kissing him deeply. The response was immediate and wholly expected.

Zevran wrapped his arm around her waist a moment before he rolled them both over. With him now on top of her, Zevran took control of not just the kiss but their lovemaking. Riel's legs locked behind his hips and he began to move furiously inside of her. With quick yet demanding strokes, Zevran teased one last release from her writhing body before at last giving in to his own release.

And what a release it was.

Like a feral beast, Zevran growled out her name out into the night. The shockwaves of pleasure cascading not just through him, but reverberating through Riel as well as she felt him empty himself into her. And with each pulse from his shaft, her own release hit her harder until she was all but screaming out his name.

Far too soon, Zevran collapsed on to her, his head nestled in the crook of her neck. There he placed light kisses against her skin as Riel gently ran her fingertips along his back. They stayed just like that for quite a while, until finally Zevran lifted his head and placed a sweet kiss upon her lips.

"I know many languages, yet there are no words for how I feel for you. You put them all to shame," he purred against her lips.

"I don't think the words exist yet for how I feel for you," she replied in the same reverent tone he just used.

" _Ma emma uthlath, na'vhenan na ethin'ma_ ," Zevran whispered softly to her, taking her hand and placing it on his chest.

"As yours is in me,  _ma sa'lath_ ," she replied, repeating his gesture.


	24. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Tal Saarath: Qunlat. The word "true" combined with the Qunari word for a title or rank among those known as Saarebas.
> 
> Saarebas: Qunlat. "Dangerous thing." What the Qunari call their mages.
> 
> Bas: Qunlat. Literally, "thing;" foreign to the Qun; purposeless. Often used as a neutral term to describe non-Qunari people.
> 
> Basalit-an: Qunlat. A non-Qunari worthy of respect.
> 
> Basvaarad: Qunlat. Literally, a keeper for a mage who is a "bas." A non-Qunari who assumes the role of an arvaarad.
> 
> Arvaarad: Qunlat. "One who holds back evil." A Qunari who watches over the saarebas.

Riel looked over the common area that rested just outside of Orzammar's giant doors. She and Zevran had arrived to the area early that morning, however Riel wasn't sure she was ready to approach the throng of merchants, travellers, and mercenaries that populated the large area. Somewhere in amongst all those talking and bargaining bodies were her companions. At least, that's what she had hoped. It had been roughly two weeks since the events at the Circle Tower. Two weeks of just her, Zevran, and Riel's faithful mabari, where Riel could finally feel free to be herself without fear.

And as much as she missed her friends, Riel couldn't help but feel a wave of trepidation wash over her. They  _knew_  about her. About what she kept hidden. Not her scars or her past before the Dalish. While Riel didn't feel like talking about those things, they were not what caused a cold sweat to appear on her skin at just the thought of someone ever finding out. Her greatest fear. And they all  _knew_.

Even Alistair. A  _ **Templar**_.

" _Mi bella_ , are you alright?"

Riel smiled over to Zevran, trying to hide her fear and anxiety. "I'm fine, Zevran."

Zevran gently pulled her against him, his arms wrapping around her waist. "I happen to know that when a woman says that she is ' _fine_ ', it usually means anything but that. Talk to me,  _mi amor_ ," he whispered in her ear.

"They know about me, Zevran…" she finally uttered after a few moments.

"And yet you will be safe. Remember that,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran lifted her face to meet his. "Although I have to admit that I will miss being able to be alone with you," he smiled before lowering his head down her ear and purring "of being able to make love to you all day and night."

Riel felt her cheeks blush, the image of the two of them together quickly erasing her remaining fear and anxiety. Smiling, Riel pressed herself closer to him, feeling his desire press against her hip. Zevran hands then glided down her back to her rear, where they squeezed gently before pulling her hips hard against his own. Riel couldn't help but moan, her very blood starting to warm as she felt him pressed solidly against her.

"Perhaps if we're quick, we can avoid the others and set up a camp nearby. Then you could have me all you want…" Riel whispered back as she slowly ground her hips against his. Zevran let out a hiss before he latched his lips onto her neck.

"Riel! Maker, you're here!"

"Too late,  _mi bella_ …" Zevran laughed with far too much pleasure for Riel's liking. Riel herself groaned in disappointment even though a part of her was happy to hear the familiar bardic voice calling out to her. Slowly she turned her body inside of Zevran's tight embrace so that he was at her back, yet his hands were still latched around her middle.

"Riel!" Leliana exclaimed excitedly again as she all but bowled over the two elves. At the last moment Leliana seemed to remember herself and pulled herself up just a foot in front of Riel and Zevran. An awkwardness came between them, with both women seeming unsure of how to proceed.

"It's good to see you, Leliana," Riel finally said, breaking the silence. Taking a breath to steady herself, Riel reached out her arms and stiffy embraced the other woman. Shocked at the contact, Leliana raised her eyes first to Zevran, silently question him. Zevran only shrugged, his eyes full of joyful mischief as always.

"Riel… I…" Leliana tried to speak but found herself speechless at her friend's action. Still unsure, Leliana lifted her arms and gently patted Riel's back in stiff movements.

Riel pulled away from her friend and smiled shyly up at her. It was the first time Riel had willingly touched anyone beside Zevran, and she was unsure how the bard would greet her. Yet when she raised her eyes to meet Leliana, Riel felt relief at seeing the woman's warm smile and misty eyes looking back at her.

"Umm.. yeah…" Riel muttered, too lost in a strange uncomfortable stillness between the two of them. "So, where are the others?" she finally managed to say after what seemed like an eternity of quiet.

"Oh! Right!" Leliana laughed as she looked around behind her. "They said they would be here soon, I came ahead to check things-"

Down by their side, Fen'harel started barking happily before taking off in a heated run.

"Fen!" Riel yelled after him, yet within a blink he was gone in the throng of people gathered in the square.

Riel was about to go after him, when she heard another familiar voice, squealing with delight coming from somewhere in the crowd. "Puppy!" the young voice cried out, followed by more by more happy barks.

All three of them laughed as they heard Sandal and Fen'harel bark and growl at each other in the distance. In front of them, the thickly populated crowd began to quickly part to reveal the familiar faces that Riel had become so used to. With Sten and Alistair out front, followed by the two mages, Morrigan and Wynne. Behind them rolled Bodahn's wagon, with the two dwarves pulling it from the front. Last was Shale, its big body causing quite the stir of looks and excited murmurs from the crowd around them. While not all of the approaching travellers were her friends, they were all her companions, and Riel found it surprising how much she had missed all of them.

"'Tis good to see you, my friend. It pleases me that the male elf didn't decide to whisk you away during your sojourn," Morrigan said with a sly grin before pinning Riel with a glare. "I'll have you know, however, that I shan't be forgiving you for abandoning me and Leliana to withstand that fool's Alistair's baleful moaning without you. The past two weeks have been absolutely dreadful, so I do hope that you have plans to make restitution for our suffering."

"It's good to see you too, Morrigan," Riel laughed before embracing the witch. Surprised but recovering quicker than Leliana did, Morrigan returned her hug before gently pushing her away.

"Yes well, I shall take payment in a new staff, if you please. And just for good measure, something sparkly as well. Something that best matches the crystal in my new staff."

"Ohhh! Does this mean that I get pressies too?" Leliana hopped and clapped her hands as if she were a little girl.

"Whatever you like, Leliana. A new bow?" asked Riel, her lips wide in a grin.

"And new arrows! Fresh, unbroken arrows that I don't have to make myself!"

"I think our Warden can do that for you two lovely ladies. Don't you agree,  _mi bella_?" Zevran laughed, joining in the banter.

"Is someone giving away gifts?" Alistair chimed in as he approached.

"Leliana and I were just discussing our payment with Riel here," Morrigan replied her lips turned up in a wicked smile.

"Payment for what?"

"For my precious time babysitting a rather annoying Templar, that is what! For weeks now I have had to listen to you whine," Morrigan sneered at Alistair. "'Twas only because of how our dear Riel would be put off to be the only Warden left to fight this ghastly Blight that kept you breathing as you are." Morrigan then turned to Riel, her next words said through gritted teeth. "You have absolutely no idea how it strained me to keep from poisoning his morning meal everyday..."

"Right… You're scary," Alistair replied dryly. "Next time we are surrounded by Templars and Circle mages, remind me to not cover for you."

"Were they always like this?" Zevran asked Leliana with a chuckle.

"Oh you have  _no_  idea," she groaned, rolling her eyes. "At one point I even had to drug his ale just so he would quit arguing with her and go to bed."

"You..? Wait, you did  _what_?" Alistair shot at Leliana.

"Oh it was fine! Just a bit of sylvan bark! And you could hardly notice the color the next day."

"What color?" Alistair asked, his eyes going wide in fear. "What did you do?" Both Leliana and Morrigan laughed evilly as Alistair looked upon them, horrified.

"Don't worry yourself, Alistair. You're fine, I promise you," Wynne replied, trying to sound reassuring. However she too was hiding a laugh behind her gracious smile. "Now perhaps you gentlemen would be so kind as to escort an old woman around the shops here? It's been so long since I left the Tower for anything other than warfare, and I would like to look around some before we head inside."

Zevran passed a look to Leliana, who nodded at whatever unspoken thing that passed between them before turning his smiling gaze upon the older woman. "It would be my pleasure, Wynne," Zevran then said with a deep bow before offering his arm to her.

"Actually, I was hoping to speak to Riel.  **Alone** ," stated Alistair, his face going serious.

Immediately Zevran narrowed his eyes on the ex-Templar, his jovial smile disappearing behind a look of suspicion and distrust. However, before he could say anything, Wynne's voice cut him off.

"Oh would you please, Alistair? All that walking has worn out these tired bones. And this isn't really a place for an old woman to be unescorted, especially one not used to the bustle of shopkeepers and travellers."

Alistair looked between Riel and Wynne, his mind obviously torn between whatever he wanted to talk about, and his nature to help those who asked it of him.

"We'll talk later, Alistair. I am sure it can wait until we get inside Orzammar," Riel stated flatly, not really caring for whatever was on his mind.

Alistair seemed shocked at her response for a moment before smiling at Wynne and offering her his arm. "I suppose it couldn't hurt to look around for a bit," he replied, a fake smile on his face.

"Good. Now with two fine young men protecting me, my old heart feels better. Let's head first over to the fabric merchant. I heard rumors of a Orlesian shipment being brought in by the dwarves of Orzammar while we were in Redcliff. And after all that dreadfulness at the Tower, I find that I am need of new curtains."

The three of them didn't wander far, surely just out of earshot of most humans. However Riel noticed that Zevran never took his eyes off her for long. With his better hearing than humans, Riel knew that he still watched over her, and she felt herself relax a bit more. Smiling she looked over to the two women beside her.

"I saw the way you two were standing earlier. You have to tell us details, Riel! You cannot think of keeping this yourself!" Leliana giggled, looking as if she were child about to hear her favorite story.

"She does not have to say a word, you meddlesome woman!" Morrigan huffed. "Except for one thing…" Riel met the eerie yellow eyes of the witch beside her and felt her skin prickle under her knowing gaze. Morrigan was silent for a minute as she studied her friend, her eyes sweeping from Riel's head, down to her toes and back up again. "Did he hurt you?"

"Morrigan!" Leliana gasped, however Morrigan ignored her and continued to stare at Riel.

The question was hard and sharp, yet Riel could tell the woman meant no offence by it. In fact, beyond the woman's usual harsh way of speaking, Riel could almost hear a level of true concern in her voice.

"Not at all," she answered truthfully, her eyes finding Zevran on their own. Smiling, she continued. "He was - very kind."

"Good," Morrigan replied, her shoulders easing a tiny fraction. Something barely noticeable unless you knew the woman well. "Now, let us see about that staff you owe me, shall we?"

"Hey! I have questions too!" moaned Leliana, causing Riel to laugh.

"Wait, I have to ask you guys something first…" Riel quickly stated before she lost her nerve. Still, it was hard forcing the words out beyond her lips. "What happened back there… at the Inn…" she finally muttered, watching their reactions closely.

"You were far too kind to the vile bastards in my opinion," replied Morrigan dismissively.

"What Morrigan means to say," Leliana rushed in, trying to stifle her laughter. "Is that no matter what, you are still Riel to us. Our friend. Your  _other_  talents do not change who you are."

Riel felt tears prickling her eyes as she looked upon the the two women before her. So completely different from each other, yet both her closest friends. Overcome with emotion and relief, Riel wrapped an arm around each woman and pulled them against her in a tight embrace.

"Are we going to be doing this a lot then, are we? This…  _hugging_ …?" groaned Morrigan as she awkwardly patted Riel's shoulder. Riel and Leliana laughed as they pulled apart. Quickly Riel wiped under her eyes before smiling at the two of them.

"I don't know. I'm still getting used to it, myself," she answered truthfully.

"Yes well… Perhaps it would do well to give me fair warning next time. Agreed?"

Even though the witch scowled and her eyes looked cold, Riel felt connected to her friends on a level that seemed to go beyond outward appearances. And while Morrigan looked harsh in her scowl and her narrowed yellow eyes, Riel could almost feel the other woman's happiness and relief at being reunited with her. Something Riel herself was feeling despite her earlier anxiety over seeing them again.

"I promise."

"Now! Back to the juicy gossip! You absolutely  _must_  tell us everything, Riel!"

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"You there. Elf. You will come with me."

Zevran looked up from the counter of wares before him to see Sten walking briskly over to him.

"Uh oh… What now…" Alistair muttered beside him.

"Is there something that I can assist you with, my friend?" Zevran asked, keeping his voice light despite how little he cared for the Qunari.

Ever since what happened several weeks ago between him and Riel at Lake Calenhad, Zevran had taken a dislike to giant. He had met many cold and unfeeling people during his life as a Crow, and Zevran knew they were only useful as long as they served their purpose and you served theirs. However, this giant seemed strange in his coldness. His stone features and remorseless eyes hiding a hidden and damaged part of him that prevented him from reacting properly.

"I do not wish to speak of it here," he replied, eyeing Wynne with careful appraisal.

"Me and Alistair will be fine dear. You go on now," Wynne assured, ignoring the looks of the three men.

Zevran looked over his shoulder to where his Riel still stood close by to the other two women. He didn't like being away from her, however he knew that she would need time to speak with her female friends without the pressures of men interrupting them. It was after all, something that women of any culture did, he found. And while Zevran was more than willing to give his Warden the space she needed with the women, he wasn't about to go off and leave her completely alone, however. Despite the unspoken understanding he had reached with the redheaded bard.

"We will not go far, elf.  _Tal Saarath_  will be not far from us," Sten replied, his voice now holding a bit of impatience.

Zevran looked up at the giant, weighing his options. Taking one last look over at Riel, he shrugged his shoulders. If the Qunari wanted to fight, he would give him one. If he wanted advice - although what possibly for Zevran couldn't guess - then he would do his best to offer it. Either way, he saw no reason to deny the Qunari.

"Very well, Sten," Zevran replied with a broad smile. "Lead the way."

Sten nodded his head briefly before turning on his heel walking towards a small alcove near the stone walkway that led to path leading down the mountain. Once standing in it's shadow, he stopped and waited for Zevran to catch up.

Zevran stopped short of the alcove, eyeing the giant. Behind the large stone pillars and hidden under the stone walkway, not many eyes would be able to see them. In fact, it was only because that he recognized the redheaded woman standing close to two other nearly hidden woman far in the distance that Zevran was able to find his Riel at all. Down where Sten now stood in the shadows, there would be no way for him to catch even that much of a glimpse of her.

"What is your purpose, my rather large friend?" Zevran stated, his eyes narrowed and his fingers twitching.

"Very well," Sten grumbled before folding his arms over his chest and leveling a glare at Zevran. "The dwarf who talks too much. He told me that there is a merchant here who has my sword."

"Well, that is good news for you. However, I don't see how that would lead to whispered words amongst shadows…"

"When I attempted to approach the merchant myself, he saw me and ran. He now looks for me, and any time he sees me, he disappears into the crowd."

"Ahh… I see," Zevran said with a slick smile. "You need someone to hold the little bastard down while you inquire after your missing blade, do you not?"

Sten shifted his weight and looked around, clearly uncomfortable with this whole situation. After clearing his throat, he leveled his cold glare on Zevran once more. "I do not dare involve  _Tal Saarath_  with this trivial matter. Too many of of the  _bas_  call her attention away from the Blight as it is."

"And by  _Tal Saarath_ , I assume you mean our lady Warden?"

Sten nodded sharply. "She is…." he paused, clearly uncomfortable with the words he was using. "She is not what the Qun describes," he finally said.

"You know, I have heard tales of the Qunari. And what they do with their mages. It cannot be easy for you to now be travelling with those who wield magic," Zevran carefully stated, watching Sten's reactions closely.

"The Warden…" Sten began but shook his head as if arguing mentally with himself. "The Qun is clear," he stated coldly. Yet he seemed to pause in thought before he spoke again. "However, perhaps if -  _when_  - I return to my people, I will not be required to give a completely  _detailed_  account of my travels with the Warden and her allies."

"And your opinion of Riel and her  _talents_?"

"She is  _Basalit-an_ and you are her  _basvaarad._ As we all are."

Zevran didn't know much of the Qunari language, however he knew enough of their terms to guess at the giant's meanings. Although he detested the terms the Qunari used for mages, and especially how they treated them, as long this particular Qunari didn't try to enforce his Riel to submit to his barbaric way, they would have an accord.

After all, the skills of Riel's allies were not such that Zevran could afford to simply just remove the giant. Not yet anyway. Two mages, a bow caster, and two small bladed fighters, that left only the damnable Templar and this giant to hold the strength of their group's warriors. True, there was that rock creature, however that was more unpredictable than the Qunari and Templar were. And his Riel would need all the help she could get against this blasted Blight.

"Do not refer to anyone other than the lovely Wynne and Morrigan as your  _saarebas_ , and I shall help you. Is it a deal?"

If Sten was shocked or upset by Zevran's terms, he didn't show it. "Agreed, elf."

"Good," Zevran smiled again. "Show me this merchant."


	25. Hard Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Dal'en: Elvhen. "Child/little one."
> 
> Fenedhis lasa: Elvhen. A curse/swear. Extension of Fenedhis. "Crap."
> 
> Rock licker: Dwarven phrase. A nickname for brontos, a large beast of burden and source of meat.
> 
> Le agradecemos, querido amigo: Antivan. "Thank you, dear friend."

"I swear if one more Blighted dwarf makes a joke about my ears…."

"Easy  _mi bella_ … I do not think they mean harm-"

"Don't you  _dare_  defend them, Zevran!" Riel hissed, pointing her finger in Zevran's face. "We've been down here for two whole days already, and we have yet to meet with either Bhelen or Harrowmont! We've just had their damn lackey's run us around all of Orzammar, cleaning up their messes so we can prove ourselves to them! I am a Grey Warden,  _ **not**_  some personal assistant who jumps whenever they bark a command!"

Riel paced back and forth by the table that the rest of her companions sat, nestled in a dark corner of the bar Tapsters. She hated being trapped indoors anywhere, reminding her of the years of her abuse. No windows, no fresh air, no way to feel the sun. In fact the first time Riel ever saw the glowing orb in the sky was when she escaped her master's house.

And now here she was again, trapped underground without even the ability to look through a window to see the space outside. Only this time, there was Darkspawn. Lots and lots of Darkspawn.

Riel and her companions hadn't officially entered the Deep Roads yet, however Riel could swear she could almost hear them breathing for how close they felt. An entire horde of foul, Voidborn beasts who swarmed and destroyed everything they touched with their vile corruptness.

And the only one who seemed to understand, ironically, was Alistair.

He was being nice to her again. Speaking kinder words to her, and even apologizing for being an ass in Redcliff. And it turned out what he wanted to speak to her alone about earlier was the very thing plaguing her own mind. Darkspawn and being this close to the Archdemon. And the best news he shared, was how Warden's who lived through actual Blights usually fared worse than during peaceful times. The Taint in their blood being accelerated by the very Archdemon that they needed to kill.

Maybe that was why he was being nice. Hard to hate someone who shared the same death sentence you did, complete with frightening nightmares, itchy skin, and an hypnotic and eerily dark voice that called out to you from the shadows. And if all that wasn't enough to deal with, the small degrees that Riel had bonded with Alistair over their shared fate only seemed to increase the tension between her fellow Grey Warden and her elven lover.

As much as Riel wanted to explain everything to Zevran, the words just never seemed good enough. To describe the constant headaches, muscle stiffness, and endless humming that she heard whether she was awake or asleep. All of her previous symptoms having multiplied since entering the underground city. However, being a Grey Warden wasn't something that could easily be understood or even explained. A person had to experience first hand the mental horror and drain of willpower that being a Warden was. Especially when in the midst of a Blight.

Frustrated, irritable, and tired of arguing, Riel wanted nothing more than just to run for the gates that led back outside to the surface above. To feel the sun and wind on her skin. To see the sky and the stars and know that despite the whispers in her head, she was still  _free_.

"We go into Dust Town tomorrow looking for this Jarvia. Once we cut that loose end, Vartag said he could get us into see Bhelen. That should at least get things moving."

Riel looked over her shoulder to Alistair, noticing the hard set of his jaw and the way his shoulders bunched up despite his attempt at looking 'relaxed'. He was just as drained as she was, and in this strange and underground prison she found herself in, the ex-Templar was a surprising port in the storm of her misery. Something that Riel knew was causing even more strain on her relationship with Zevran.

"Do we know much of anything of this Bhelen? Or of his challenger, Harrowmont?" Leliana asked, bringing up another headache of worries for Riel.

"I have heard tales of the Aeducans occasionally from traders who visited the Tower. Bhelen's father was much loved by the people, and his sudden death has probably shocked a lot of dwarves," Wynne replied in her usual soft manner.

"But is the son like his father? And what of this rumor that the previous king did not want his son to succeed him?" countered Leliana.

"Harrowmont is a traditionalist," Alistair stated, folding his arms over his chest. "And apparently that has caused a few problems with the fractions that want to increase trade with the surface."

"Not just that, Alistair. The word is that he has voted repeatedly to keep it illegal for the Casteless to hold any trade or start any kind of business."

"Voidtaken cursed bastards of demonic offspring!" Riel suddenly cursed out, her hand going to her forehead and her body curling over.

Instantly Zevran was at her side, holding her gently. "Riel, are you alright?" he asked, his face laced with worry.

"No, I am  _not_  flaming alright!" she screamed out, pushing herself away from Zevran's embrace. It was another one of her headaches. The ones she had been getting with increased frequency since setting foot in Orzammar the other day. " _ **Fenedhis lasa**_ **!** "

"Eh! Keep it down, you blighted surfacer!" a dwarven male cursed out at Riel from several tables away. "Nobody asked you or your kind down here anyway!"

Reacting more on instinctive anger than rational thought, Riel lifted her head and glared at the dwarf who spoke. Narrowing her eyes she pulled free her dagger from its sheath at her back and in one smooth and lightning move launched the blade through the air towards the male and his laughing friends. With a solid thud, the blade came to a rest just an inch above the dwarf's head, stuck in a wooden portrait of one of the ancient dwarven paragons.

"By the stone, woman!" the dwarf spat, his mushroom ale dripping from his bearded mouth and spraying over himself and the male beside him. "You almost killed me!"

"Be thankful then I wasn't aiming for your stone thick head, then!" Riel cursed back, her eyes nearly glowing at the fiery temper that boiled inside of her.

Suddenly the several male dwarves that sat the table stood, their hands going for their weapons. Riel didn't look the least bit intimidated as she continued to glare at the dwarf who first spoke, even when he grabbed hold of a rather large double headed hammer and hefted it in his hands.

"Friends, friends! Please, there is no reason to fight!" Zevran quickly stated as he got in between the dwarves and his Riel.

"If the pointy eared elf wants to cause trouble, we got no problem showing the rock licker the door!"

"You just insulted a Grey Warden, ser," Alistair sneered as his blade suddenly appeared at the mouthy dwarf's chin. Looking over at the warrior, Riel was surprised he managed to move so quickly. She hadn't even heard the familiar clank of his armor when he stood. "I suggest you find your tongue and offer the lady an apology before my blade finds your tongue first."

"G-Grey W-Warden?" the dwarf stuttered, looking from both Alistair to Riel. With wide eyes, he quickly dropped the attack stance he was in and placed his hammer back down to the ground. "My apologies, Warden. My kin and I shall leave you in peace," he added before nodding to his fellows who also sheathed their weapons before gathering their things and leaving.

Still with his sword out and ready, Alistair watched the dwarves leave through narrowed eyes. Only when he heard the door of the tavern thump closed behind them did he finally sheathe his sword and look over to Riel. His face grim, he stalked over to Riel and stared harshly into her face.

"They are getting worse, aren't they?" he stated, all but ignoring Zevran at Riel's side.

"They're fine, Alistair. I can handle them," Riel tried waving him off however Alistair refused to budge.

"What are getting worse?" Zevran asked, his narrowed eyes going back and forth between the two Wardens.

"Andraste's ass you can, Riel! What happens when you are down in the Deep Roads? If you're this bad now, what is it going to be like then?"

"I'll handle it, Alistair!" Riel all but screamed back. "I'm not some pathetic waife that can't handle a few drunken dwarves or some Voidridden Darkspawn!"

"You need to go see the apothecary and get something for the pain! You're no use to anyone when you are curled up on the ground, crying!"

The entire tavern was now silent around the two of them, almost holding their breaths as the two large humanoids argued in ever increasing voices. Dwarves were not accustomed to outsiders in their city even at the best of times. However to have two of them nearly drawing each other's blood made them more than uneasy.

"How  _ **dare**_  you! I am  **not**  a cowering  _dal'en_ , Alistair!"

"Well you're certainly acting like a child! Maker's balls, Riel, you almost took that man's head off!" shouted Alistair, pointing behind him to where Riel's dagger still stuck above the table.

"It wasn't  _ **my**_  blade pointing at his chin, Alistair!"

"I was keeping him from smashing in that thick head of yours!"

Zevran had had enough. By a long mile. Stepping in between the two screaming Grey Warden's, he got right up in Alistair's face, his hand resting on the handle of his dagger behind him.

"You will  _ **not**_  speak to her like that, Templar!" Zevran seethed, his own anger boiling.

"Fine!  **You**  talk some sense into her! And do it preferably before she gets herself killed because she is too damn stubborn to take the medicine that will help keep her sane!" Alistair shouted before turning and walking off to the rooms that they rented.

Zevran stared after him for a moment before turning to face Riel. She had her arms crossed over her chest as she seethed, her usually lush lips a thin line as she tried to control her anger. Zevran could tell she was barely succeeding, however, as her slight trembling was visible even in the low light of the tavern.

"What is this about medicine? And what did he mean by pain?" Zevran demanded, his voice hard as he confronted her. Riel didn't answer, her eyes locked on the space off to the side. Sighing, Zevran gently placed his hand on her chin and lifted her gaze to meet his. His voice softer, he tried again to reach her. "Talk to me,  _mi bella_. What is happening?" It was then that he say the tear streak down her cheek and drop to the floor below.

"It's the Darkspawn," she replied quietly, pausing before continuing. "As Grey Wardens, you know we can sense them. It's part of what makes us who we are. However, we also can  _hear_  them, if they are close enough."

"You can hear them?" he asked, confused.

"Not words or anything. Not really." Riel wiped at her eyes, smiling angrily at the bitterness of it all. "From what Alistair says, it's normally not this bad. The connection between us and them is usually only a faint whisper. But during Blights…" Riel paused again, remembering Alistair's grave words. "He told stories the other Wardens used to tell him of how some Wardens from the last Blight went mad from the headaches and voices they heard. So the Warden mages came up with a drink to help silence the voices that whispered to us through the taint."

"And this medicine is what he was speaking of?" Seeing Riel nod silently, Zevran continued. "Then why do you not take it?"

Riel sighed heavily, shifting her weight on her feet before answering. "Because it makes my head feel weird! Like I'm drugged or something! It's just too much like… like…" Riel paused as a sob lodged in her throat, memories from her past assailing her.

" _Mi bella_ …" Zevran whispered as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Up on the surface, I could deal with the headaches. They would come and go, and it wouldn't be that bad. Here though… And they just keep getting worse…."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Oh yeah," she laughed hard, pulling away from him and pinning him with an incredulous look. "I'll just go and tell everyone who rely on me to lead them against this damned Blight that everytime I get close to the Darkspawn I am supposed to be fighting, I start hearing voices and develop painful headaches!"

Zevran looked over to the table where the rest of their companions were desperately trying to look as invisible as they could. Sitting at the large stone table, all of their eyes looked off elsewhere, either to the floor or the mugs in front of them. Zevran then cursed to himself.  _This was not the place to having this discussion_  he thought to him. They were in the middle of a public tavern, the dwarven patrons looking even more uncomfortable as they averted their gazes from the two elven surfacers.

Sighing in frustration, Zevran pulled Riel against him once more. "Let me take you back to our room,  _mi bella_. It has been a long day, and I think you could use some rest." Riel nodded silently, too tired to argue further. "Leliana, would you be so kind as to retrieve our lady's weapon?"

"Of course," Leliana smiled shyly, obviously pleased to be able to be of some use to her friend. Quickly she stood and fetched the blade, grunting quietly as pulled it free from the wood. She then offered it Zevran who sheathed it behind Riel's back for her.

" _Le agradecemos, querido amigo_ ," Zevran replied with a smile before leading his precious Warden past the tables and into the back where the rooms were kept.

Once behind the closed door, Zevran made quick work of undressing Riel, his nimble hands and fingers this time working to comfort instead of arouse. What she needed was comfort and rest, not his pawing and groping at her. So when Riel's armor laid neatly on the floor and all that remained on her skin was the tunic that she often wore, Zevran gently led her over to the bed and helped her to lay down.

"You rest here,  _mi bella_. I will not be gone long. There is something I must see to," he whispered to her, his fingers tucking her hair away from her face and behind her ear.

Riel remained silent, perhaps even too drained to even nod her head. She just closed her eyes and sighed, her body going limp as sleep quickly descended on her. Smiling sadly down at her sleeping form, Zevran then took one of the blankets and covered her before standing and heading to the door.

Outside of the room, Zevran called the mabari over from where it lazed over by a small fireplace in the main tavern. Yawning, the beast stood and lumbered over, his intelligent eyes looking up in curiosity at the mate of his mistress.

"No one is to enter your mistress' room until I return, do you understand?" he said quietly to the hound.

" _Woof_ ," Fen'harel responded back just as quietly before positioning himself in front of Riel's door and laying down.

Satisfied for the moment, Zevran headed back into the tavern and looked around. The table they were using earlier was now occupied by strangers, and after a quick scan of the tavern, Zevran couldn't spot of his travelling companions. Turning around and heading back towards the rooms, he walked past the door that belonged to Alistair and Sten and instead stopped at the door to the room that the women of their group shared.

However Zevran had barely lifted his hand to knock when it opened sharply, revealing the dark and mysterious witch. Exactly the person who he was looking for.

"You come seeking me, do you not?" she stated briskly, her yellow eyes narrowing in on his own honeyed ones.

"Then I see we are of the same mind, then, my beautiful Morrigan?" he replied with his usual charming smile.

"You do not need to flatter me, assassin," Morrigan replied rolling her eyes. "Riel is… She is…" she stumbled, looking for the right words, yet still looking uncomfortable. "Well, she is kind to me. And as such I do not need your empty flattery to persuade me to try and ease her when I can." Morrigan opened the door fully and walked back into the room. Looking around, Zevran saw that the young witch was alone in the large room, yet he was of no mind at the moment to inquire as to where the other two women were.

"I would never use empty flattery on you, dear Morrigan," he winked as he stepped inside. "However, I do hope this means you have something that would help?"

Morrigan didn't look up at him as she lifted up her bag and started sorting through it. After a few minutes of pulling out various small satchels and placing them on the bed, she looked over her inventory and frowned.

"I may be able to help her, yes," Morrigan stated with a frown. "However, I am missing a few things."

"What do you need?"

"Several deep mushrooms, a palm sized drake stone, lyrium dust, and a vial of deathroot extract."

"Those sound like poison ingredients, witch," Zevran replied harshly, his eyes narrowing on her.

"Because they  _are_ , assassin," she replied, matching his glare. "However, when mixed with some other things that I  _do_  have, and combined with a minor spell that I happen to know, it can temporarily ease the effects the taint causes in someone infected with it. It is no cure, however it should not only help her mind, but work to relieve the headaches she is also suffering with."

"And how do you know of this spell and mixture?"

"T'was it not you who came to me, assassin? And now you raise suspicions of the help that you actively sought?"

"When it comes to our lady Warden and her health, you will find that I trust  _very_  little. She above all else is my priority, and I will do  _ **anything**_  to protect her."

Morrigan smiled wickedly, her features going dark. "Good. Because you will most likely need to do exactly that."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"So if I find this Branka and bring her back, the assembly will finally get off its collect ass and make you king, which allow you to give me the army I need?"

"Precisely," Bhelen smiled.

Riel didn't like the dwarf, reminding her too much of the shifty humans she had met in the cities and other places. His smile seemed fake, and whenever he looked at her the way he was now, Riel felt like she needed a bath afterwards. However, from what she and the others could gather from the local dwarves and shopkeepers, Bhelen seemed like he would most likely make the best choice for Orzammar's future. Even though he seemed as slimy as an insect and grinned like a spider about to devour its meal.

 _Whatever… I_ _ **need**_   _this army…._

"Fine. We'll leave first thing in the morning,"  _whatever passed for morning in this pit, anyway_  Riel thought bitterly before continuing. "I ask that my merchant liason and his son continue to be allowed sanctuary on the surface. I doubt the passages would be wide or safe enough to bring them along. And that our rooms at Tapsters be reserved for when we return."

"Fair enough, Warden. I'll send a messenger to your merchant, and I have Vartag talk to the owners of Tapsters. Anything else you require?"

"Just have my army ready when I put that crown on your head, my  _liege…_ " Riel said the last word through gritted teeth as she forced herself to bow to the prince and would-be king.

"Good. Here are the maps my people were able to acquire of the areas that we know Branka to have gone," Bhelen replied as he handed Riel a stack of papers. "The Assembly plans to meet again in two weeks to discuss another vote. I can't impress upon you enough how important it is that you return before then."

Seething in anger, Riel just nodded and bowed again before turning and leading her companions out of the palace. Once free of the royal grounds and away from the prying eyes of the deshyrs and their escorts, Riel ducked into a hidden alley with Zevran right behind her. However before he could stop her, she screamed out, releasing her pent up anger and as she punched the side of a wall.

" **Shit**!  **Fenedhis**!" she cursed out, cradling her hand to her chest as pain exploded through her fingers and up arm.

" _Mi bella!_ " Zevran cursed out, reaching for her. "Let me see it," he sighed, gently taking her hand and examining it.

"Ow! Zevran!"

"Well, it is broken. However, I don't think it is too bad. Nothing that either Wynne or Morrigan can't heal." Zevran released her injured hand and instead cupped her cheek. "This anger is not like you,  _mi bella_. Talk to me."

Riel sighed, closing her eyes against the pain in her skull. "It's just my head, Zevran. I'll be fine. Just find me something to kill, and I should be all sunshine and rainbows again," she replied, trying to smile.

"I fixed you some tea this morning. Did you drink it?"

"Some of it. It tasted funny though, and I got distracted by Fen chasing yet another one of those blasted nugs."

"I will make some more when we return to the tavern. And I want you to drink it this time. It should help," Zevran purred, trying his best to keep his voice level despite his increasing worry.

"Fine. But if Fen eats another one of those nugs,  _you_  are the one who has to apologize to the tavern owner again," she laughed softly.

"It goes into the Deep Roads, yes?" Shale asked once Riel and Zevran exited the small alley they disappeared into. Riel looked up the stone golem and tried her best to hide the cringe she felt every time the creature called her 'it'. It was some strange kind of weird joke the golem insisted on using whenever speaking to anyone of the group.

"That's where this Branka supposedly is. Why?" Riel answered, gritting her teeth against the pain in her hand.

"Then I wish to go with it. Spending time in this place has…. awoken something in my memories. Fragments, really. However, I feel compelled to follow where these small bits of memory are leading me."

"We'll discuss this back at Tapsters," Riel snapped with more irritation than she meant to.

"By the Maker! Riel! Look at your hand!" Leliana gasped.

"Oh. It's bleeding," Shale remarked in near disgust as it spied Riel's hand. "Well, come on then. Fleshy creatures such as it tend to make such a mess if not tended to properly."

Zevran took gentle hold of Riel uninjured arm, and almost dragged Riel as he maneuvered her quickly past the high values homes and manses of the upper class Diamond Quarter. Once past the large double doors that led into the Merchant District, the way was made more difficult do to the shoppers and stalls that littered the open area. If she wasn't in so much pain, Riel might have thought to grumble at the heightened pace Zevran set as he guided her as best he could through the crowd. Yet more than once Riel felt someone carelessly bump into her, the contact wearing her already nonexistent patience past safe levels. So when the old tavern that was nestled in the back at the far end of the district finally came into sight, Riel couldn't help but breathe a deep sigh of relief.

"Wynne! Morrigan!" Zevran shouted over the din of the tavern, his rich Antivan voice carrying over the heads of the dwarven patrons to the far back where the rest of their companions waited.

"How did it-... Maker! What happened?!" Wynne gasped as she spotted Zevran all but dragging Riel over to the others. Immediately both Wynne and Morrigan stood, both of them coming over to inspect Riel's now swollen hand.

"I had an argument with a wall. It won," Riel dryly mused as she held out her hand for the mages to see.

"May I?" Morrigan asked, meeting Riel's eyes before reaching for the limb. Only after seeing her friend nod did the witch carefully take hold of Riel's hand. "'Tis broken, plainly," she stated, before prodding her fingers higher up Riel's arm. "Up here too, judging from the wince you just gave."

"I know just the spell," Wynne replied before looking over to Morrigan. "If you don't mind, that is."

"Not at all. I am no real healer. What little I know functions well enough when needed, however elements and entropy are where my talents truly lie," Morrigan replied sincerely. Wynne smiled and reached out to take Riel's hand, however was stopped when Morrigan's hand came down heavily on her arm. "Riel is a special case, old woman. Touching only when necessary, and only when she agrees." Now Morrigan's voice was hard, her warning cold and stiff as she eyed the older woman.

To her credit, Wynne hardly blinked. She only smiled warmly, first at Morrigan, then at Riel. "Of course. Where are my manners?" Wynne caught Riel's gaze before continuing. "May I, dear?"

Again Riel only nodded, the pain in her hand distracting her normal anxiety about being touched by people she didn't feel comfortable with. Holding back her winces at the old mage's light touching, Riel finally breathed a sigh of relief when she felt the magic suffuse her throbbing hand.

"There, all better," Wynne smiled as she stepped back.

"Perhaps it would be wise to in the future travel with either Wynne or Morrigan in our group, eh  _mi bella_?" Zevran teased lightly, however Riel caught the note of seriousness in his voice.

"You know that I don't like going around in large groups, Zevran. With small numbers, it's easier to bypass enemies or navigate tunnels," she countered, rubbing her now healed hand absently.

"Our group is growing,  _mi bella_. What good is it gathering allies if we are to leave most of them behind?"

"Someone has to stay behind and protect the camp and look after Bodahn and Sandal, Zevran," Riel replied with more bite than she meant to. Sighing, she looked up him, softening her features. "I know. You're right. It's just…"

"Bodahn and Sandal are safe up on the surface right now, and Bhelen said he would send word allowing the both of them to stay there longer. If we are to head into the Deep Roads, then wouldn't it make sense to bring as many as you could, given the number of Darkspawn there?"

Riel looked over to Leliana as her mind worked over the bard's words. They had travelled most of time in a group of four, with her leading. In the beginning, that was all there was. Just her, Alistair, Morrigan, and Riel's mabari. Then Leliana and Sten joined. So Riel would occasionally take different people with when she explored something, leaving the other two behind to watch over the merchant and his son. And then came the ambush by Zevran and those others hired to kill her and Alistair.

After Zevran had joined them, everything seemed to change. And not just between the two elves. Riel's relationship with the two women of the group grew closer, and her and Alistair grew farther apart. And now there was Shale and the mage Wynne added to their numbers. Enough members for two small groups instead of one, yet the thought of dividing them like that seemed strange to Riel. It was one thing to leave a person or two behind at the camp, however to send off her companions off without her seemed wrong.

Willing or not, she had become their leader. And she was responsible for them. To divide them risked too much in her mind. And yet, she knew that she couldn't keep leaving such important assets behind when they were needed. Perhaps they would have fared better against the dragon at the Temple of Sacred Ashes if Leliana and Sten had been with them. And no doubt Morrigan's magic and Leliana's bow would have aided her during the fight through the Circle Tower. Not to mention Sten and Shale's power in attacking the nightmare demons.

Looking down at her hand, Riel thought of the pain she was just in because of her anger and stupidly punching that wall. There was no mages with them then. Confident that she wouldn't need her side pack since they were in a city, Riel had no potions on her either. What if something worse had happened? What if thugs had attacked them like they did in Dust Town? Lackeys of Jarvia who were pissed their patron criminal was now dead because of Riel and the others?

"Alright. I'll consider changing our normal numbers. However, right now, we have other things to discuss," Riel sighed, rubbing at her temple and the pain that was growing there.

"I take it Bhelen gave you another task?" Morrigan quipped, her brow furrowing.

"Apparently, the Assembly are a bunch of fools who refuse to acknowledge any claim any time soon," Zevran explained. "Bhelen said that only the will of a Paragon would break the stalemate they have worked themselves into."

"And where do we find one of those?" Alistair asked from behind the mages. Curious, Riel hadn't noticed him since just then.

"The Deep Roads," Leliana answered this time. "I have been asking around since coming here, and from I heard, Bhelen wasn't lying. Branka is a Paragon to the dwarves. Years ago, she invented a type of smokeless type of coal. It impressed the people so much, she was elevated to the rank of Paragon. Sort of a living god for the dwarves."

"And she is in the Deep Roads?"

"That's what Bhelen believes," Riel answered to Alistair. "Two years ago, Branka and her entire house left for the Deep Roads and never returned. They sent out search parties but never found her."

"Two years? In the Deep Roads? This is the same Deep Roads that is swarming with Darkspawn and other nasty things?" groaned Alistair, his hands rising to rub at his own temples. "Who's to say this Branka is even alive?"

"Yo, surfacer! Did you just mention Branka?"

Riel bit back another curse, her patience in dealing with the dwarves wearing dangerously thin. With the comforting feel of Zevran's hand on her back, Riel somehow managed to bite back her bitterness and put on yet another fake smile as she turned to face the dwarf who spoke.

Of average height for the subterranean species, this one didn't conform to the usual coloring that most dwarves had of dark hair and beards. Instead, his hair and intricately braided beard were a bright red, reminding Riel of Leliana's own coloring. However, his seemed even brighter than the bard's cherry locks.

"You're going after Branka, aren't ya?" he asked again, his stance tense.

"Bhelen seems to think that she is alive, and wants to see if we can bring anything back of hers," Riel replied, her head beginning to throb again painfully.

"Hot damn!" the dwarf laughed, slapping his knee in excitement. "I've been telling those sodding stone addled heads that she was alive for two blighted years!"

"Wait, I know you!" Leliana started, walking closer to the dwarf and squinting her eyes as she took in his appearance. "You're the one I've been hearing about. You're Branka's husband!"

"Oghren's the name, sweetheart," the dwarf replied with a wink.

"Do you know him, Leliana?" asked Zevran.

"Not really. Just what I have heard from around the people here. Rumors mostly."

"Eh… And what you heard was probably right," Oghren stated, his hand massaging his neck as he looked uncomfortably between them. "Look, I'll be the first to say that I'm a sodding dusteater when it comes some of my behavior since Branka disappeared. But if you're going after her, you  _have_  to take me with you."

"If you are her husband, then why did she leave you behind?" asked Alistair.

"Oh that… Well, Branka is… she was always a bit of stone headed broad when it came to certain things. Once she got her mind set on something, not even a charging bronto could change her mind. And when she decided to go into the Deep Roads after Cairidin's research, we got into a bit of a fight over it. I told her to stay, she called me a dirty nug licker, and the next morning she and her whole house was gone before I even rolled out of bed."

"Another squishy one. Wonderful," Shale muttered from the corner where she stood.

Riel looked at each of her companions. From Shale over in the corner, to the ever stoic and quiet Sten as he silently sat at the far end of the table they usually used. To the mages Wynne and Morrigan, and Leliana with her ever hopeful and friendly smile as she stood next to Alistair. The over to Zevran at her side, and now this dwarf who now insisted on following them on this probable grand goosechase through the dark and deadly tunnels known as the Deep Roads.

Looking at them all, even the the dwarf who was all but a stranger, Riel couldn't help but smile. A strange feeling came over her then, something that tweaked at her memory yet refused to materialize in her mind. Sighing Riel knew what she had to do.

"Alright," she smiled. "We leave in the morning. So make sure you are all ready to leave. Be well stocked on potions, poultices, and make sure any equipment you're bringing is mended and in good condition. If you need to buy anything before we leave, come see me and I'll make sure you get it. We travel light, but prepared. Dried meats, fruits, and water skins as full they can be."

"Excellent!" Zevran exclaimed, followed by several similar sentiments by the other members of their group.

"I've been itching to get back at these bastards!" Alistair smiled broadly.

"Not you, Alistair," Riel shouted over the noise of the others, calling attention instantly back to her.

"What?!" he shouted back at her.

"You're staying here,  _my prince_ ," replied Riel with a short and deliberate bow.

"Oh don't you dare you pull that, Riel!"

Riel steadied herself, knowing that this confrontation was coming, yet dreading it. Ever since catching up with Leliana and the others about what happened at Redcliff without her, Riel had been toying with this idea and knew that she would eventually have to make the choice final. Ignoring the confused and angry look from both Zevran and Alistair, Riel took a deep breath and explained her reasoning.

"Tell me Alistair, after the Ashes healed Eamon, did he or did he not tell you of his plans to take over the crown from Anora?"

"That has nothing to do with this, Riel!"

"It has  _everything_  to do with this, Alistair. We are both Grey Wardens, and so we know that one of us is needed to defeat the Archdemon at the end of all of this. And even  _if_  there was a way to defeat it without us, you are still the heir to the throne of Ferelden. I can't have you going into the Deep Roads. Not when you're needed on the surface."

"Bullshit!" Alistair shouted, storming up close to Riel and going toe to toe with her. "You are  _ **not**_  leaving me behind!"

"I actually agree with the Templar, as strange as that is," Zevran added, his voice thick with anger. However, even with both males facing off against her, Riel knew that she was right.

"I am  _ **not**_  arguing this with you two!" she shouted back at them. "Alistair is too important to take into the Deep Roads."

" **You**  are too important to risk to the Deep Roads!" Zevran angrily shouted back.

"No, I'm not, Zevran," Riel countered with a groan. "I'm just an elf who had the dumb enough luck to become a Grey Warden to save my life. Alistair here is the heir to all of Ferelden!"

"Damn Ferelden!" Alistair shouted, surprising Riel that he was the one who said it, and not Zevran. "I'm a Grey Warden,  _ **not**_  a bloody prince!"

"Even you  _weren't_ a prince, there is  **no**  reason to risk the only two Grey Warden's in all of Ferelden going into the Deep Roads! If something were to happen, this Blight doesn't end here and all of Ferelden is lost!"

"Now I'll say it! Damn Ferelden!" Zevran shouted this time. "If the Grey Warden's are needed to end the Blight, then  **you**  stay, and let Alistair go to the Deep Roads!"

"I agree!" Alistair yelled out beside him.

"Oh by the Creators! Why of all times did you two have to pick  _ **now**_  to actually start agreeing on anything!" Riel threw up her hands in frustration and walked several feet away.

"I agree with Riel. Alistair needs to stay behind."

"Thank you, Leliana!" Riel smiled over at her friend, grateful for someone's support in this shouting match she found herself in.

"This doesn't involve you!" Alistair shot back toward the bard. "I'm  **not**  staying!"

Sten was the next one to speak up, his low baritone voice echoing along the walls even though his voice was calm. "The female Warden is correct."

"The whiny knight is to be a prince, it says? Well, I suppose it wouldn't do to have it squished. Hard to put a crown on a puddle. Yes, the whiny knight should stay."

"If we are to be offering up morsels for Darkspawn snacks, I would gladly volunteer the fool for the cause. As much as it pains me, I have to agree with Alistair. If a life is to be risked, 'twould far better for it to be his."

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Riel, Alistair. Ferelden needs a king of Theirin's line, and you are the last of it."

"Oh sod it all! I don't care which one of you Wardens goes to get Branka. I've waited two years for this, so hurry up and make up your stone addled minds!"

" _Woof_!" Fen'harel barked before growling and baring his teeth quickly at Alistair before standing at his mistress' heel.

"You're staying, Alistair!" Riel shouted even as the others in the group voiced their opinions.

"You  _can't_  keep me here, Riel!"

Riel smirked. "Want to bet?" Riel then looked over to Morrigan. "If I asked, would you?"

Morrigan rolled her eyes and groaned. "Yes… you know I would. Even though it is complete foolishness!"

"You stay, Alistair, or I have Morrigan put you flat on your back for days. By the time you come out of it, we'll be long gone with the maps. It would be suicide to try to come after us then. And as thick headed as you are, I doubt you would do that."

" _I'm_  -  _ **I'm**_  thick headed? Oh that's rich coming from you!"

"No, I'm right. There is a difference," Riel snapped back.

"Riel… listen to me," Zevran replied, taking gentle hold of Riel's arms and forcing her to look at him. "You must not do this. If it is too dangerous for one of you, it is too dangerous for you. I will not have you risking your life to protect his."

"Zevran, I understand," she sadly smiled up at him. "But it has to be done this way. Believe me when I say that I have no intention of just lying down and letting the Darkspawn take me. However, I also can't risk all of Ferelden because I wasn't brave enough to do my job."

"This isn't your job, though!" he exclaimed back at her.

"Yes, it is. I  _am_  a Grey Warden. This is what we do. We sacrifice ourselves so the rest can live." Riel lifted her hand and placed it lightly against his cheek. "I've made up my mind. I'm going. Alistair is staying. Even if I have to have Morrigan drug him. Don't make me get her to drug you too."

"And if I instead drugged you,  _mi bella_?"

Riel sighed heavily. Without looking up, she called out to her friend. "Morrigan?"

"Why do you put me in these situations?" Morrigan grumbled, her anger evident.

" _Morrigan…_.?" Riel called out again, her voice harder.

"Oh fine! Yes! Happy now? I would aid you in your foolish endeavor risk your life in the Deep Roads!" Morrigan cursed.

"I thought you were her friend, witch?" Alistair shouted.

"I  **am**  her friend you walking piece of metal target practice," she hissed out. "However, I swore to her to do as she wishes as long there was no direct threat to her life."

"This is the Deep Roads! There  **is**  a direct threat!" Alistair shouted again at her.

"Riel will have us there, Alistair. She will be fine."

"Leliana…" Alistair groaned, clearly feeling the loosing ground he was on.

Zevran had refused to take his eyes off his Riel this entire time, watching her carefully. He hated this whole thing, and the position that it put all of them in. It was obvious that his Riel had been thinking of this for a while before finally voicing the decision. Her careful mind most likely working through each alternative until only one clear path was left. It was how she always made such decisions, no matter the source or consequence. When it came to this war and the hard choices put before her, Riel rarely ever made a decision without carefully examining everything available to her.

And this was no different. Even with the danger waiting for her in those dark underground tunnels, Zevran could not see any fear his lovely Warden's eyes. She was tired. Weary from fighting, both enemies and allies. She was also determined, her mind set and the choice made. This was the Grey Warden in her. The warrior half to her sweet, innocence that had finally opened up to him over the past two weeks.

And as she said - This is what Grey Wardens do. Even if he despised it with every fiber of his being.

True, Zevran could continue to argue with her. Demand that she stay behind. Riel would then pull her card with Morrigan and the witch would attempt whatever poison or drug she planned on using with the Templar on him. Although Zevran doubted any drug either she or Morrigan concocted would work on him due his training, he knew they they would at least try.

She was right. Mostly. This wasn't just what a Grey Warden does. This was what  _she_  does. His beautiful, amazing, talented and incredibly stubborn Riel.

So with her choice made, there was only thing for him to do.

Zevran would do as he had sworn to do. He would follow and protect her as he always had. May the gods themselves be damned if she thought that she was going to attempt any of this foolishness without him.

"Fine." The word was bitter in his mouth, but Zevran knew that he had no choice. "However, you do not go anywhere without me,  _mi bella_. You do not stand guard without me, you do explore somewhere without me, and you do not fight without me at your side. Are we clear?"

Riel nodded at his demands, knowing they stemmed from his love for her rather than a need to control her. Zevran then quickly pulled into a tight embrace, almost squeezing her against his chest. Riel allowed his near death grip on her, knowing without even asking that Zevran was terrified for her. That he hated that she was doing this. And that with leaving Alistair behind, she was risking her very life. However, she loved him all the more for still allowing her to do what she felt that she must. For that, she would agree to almost any rule or demand he made for her safety.

Almost.

"Are you sure we can't switch your place with the Templar's?" Zevran again asked, his voice on the verge of breaking as he whispered it against her neck.

"He's staying," Riel again confirmed, getting a deep groan from Zevran.

"Fine," Zevran finally replied, pulling back from her slightly and looking over at the Templar. "I'll get the rope. Morrigan, you work on the potion to drug him. Sten, Shale, you hold him down. Leliana, go make sure the tavern owner realizes they are going to have a very pissed off and hung over Grey Warden in a few days. And perhaps ask them to check in on him every so often. After all, I'm not about to have him die safe in his bed while our lovely Warden here is risking her precious life in the Deep Roads."

"Hey! I'm right here! I can hear everything you're saying, and I'm not going to cooperate!" Alistair snapped, glaring at Zevran, then shifting his eyes over to the others.

There was a collective silence as Alistair eyed each and every one of them before they all stood up and started talking at once.

"Give me an hour for the potion," Morrigan replied before heading back to her room.

"I'll talk to the tavern owner," Leliana stated.

"I'll help you dear. We need to make sure they know to still give him food," Wynne added as she followed Leliana.

"Rock creature. Come," Sten motioned to Shale before standing up and approaching Alistair.

"By the Maker… I  _ **really**_  don't like this…." Alistair moaned helplessly.


	26. Needing Rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mi amiga: Antivan. "My friend."
> 
> Mi amiga bella: Antivan. "My beautiful friend."

"Everyone still alive?" Leliana groaned as she pulled her arrow free from the genlock's eye.

Around her were the scattered bodies of various Darkspawn, covering the ground with not just their blood but the putrid bile that they spewed on everything that they touched. In the small opening amongst the endless caves and paved halls of the old Deep Roads where the group now found themselves, the scene was nothing short of a nightmare born out of the very Fade itself.

Virulent red and maroon bulbous and fleshy sacks clung to the walls around them, leaking black ooze that made the floor slick and difficult to walk on. Cluttered in the corners and along the base of the walls were collections of bones, sticks, and broken weapons as if they were simply carelessly discarded when they were of no longer of any use. And the stench… It was something that Riel knew that she would never forget or remove completely from her clothing.

Lighting the dark tunnels were various hanging candelabra and small pyres maintained by Creators only knew; the flickering lights giving the area an even more ominous and sinister feel to it. And with it all, the very air itself thick with the heavy stench of death and decay.

" _Alive_  isn't the word I would use, but I guess it works…" Riel grumbled as she pushed herself from the wall she was leaning against.

Since leaving Orzammar three days (  _was it three days?_  ) ago, their journey had been almost one long fight that took them through the various winding tunnels and caved in roads that dwelled beneath the world above. Far underground now, it had been so long since Riel had seen the surface that she was beginning to wonder if she would ever see the sun and the blue sky again.

"Check the bodies. There was an emissary among them, and several archers. I want those weapons and any potions they have!" she ordered bitterly, rolling her shoulders once before wiping off her blades on the nearest Darkspawn corpse.

Immediately everyone started checking bodies, carefully keeping their contact with the Darkspawn flesh and blood to as little as possible. Quiet in their task, the crushing scale of their mission weighed heavily upon them all, but none more so than Riel herself.

The headaches were even worse down here amongst the rock and stone. And so too were the dark whispers and voices. Even though the group had set camp three times since leaving the city, Riel had not been able to find sleep either time. Their fires small, the group usually camped in small alcoves or abandoned buildings in long forgotten thaigs - the word dwarves called their towns in the old days. Even the group's usual banter was kept at a minimum, as even with Riel's tainted blood guiding them around the larger groups of Darkspawn, there still existed many other dangers lurking in the darkness.

Giant spiders and small carnivorous beasts called Deepstalkers hunted both Darkspawn and traveller as they skittered along the walls and passageways. Only the size of a cat, the Deepstalkers were almost as dangerous as mabaris as they hunted in large packs that could easily overwhelm any unwary adventurer.

In the beginning, Riel had tried to convince herself that it was the skittering sound of the spiders or Deepstalkers that had kept her awake during her turn to rest in her tent. That it was the eerie silence mixed with the scratching and scraping of claws and fangs along the ceilings and walls that drove away any semblance of sleep as she laid unblinking on her bedroll up at the tent ceiling above her. It was, after all, what she told Zevran the countless times he would voice his concerns over why she wasn't sleeping.

However, as unnerving as frightening as those sounds were, they were not what kept Riel's eye open and unseeing as she laid silently without moving.

It was  _his_  voice.

The Archdemon.

As always, the sound never contained any words that Riel could recognize. Only a  _calling_. A sweet yet bloodchilling song that seeped into her mind and placed every wicked fear she could imagine behind her eyes for her to witness. Images that became more lucid whenever she closed her eyes for longer than just a moment.

Images of people screaming as they were devoured by rotted teeth and decomposed faces. Of women being twisted and turned as the taint filled them, transforming them into vile abominations. Of limbs and blood and bile and every dark thing that one could find in the desolate corners of thought and fear.

And the worst of it all, were when the faces of those suffering transformed into the ones that she now cared for.

Images taunting Riel of her friends screaming as they were devoured by gnashing teeth. Of them being ripped apart by Darkspawn and consumed as if they were some grotesque delicacy. Of the women that they travelled with being filled with the corruption that spewed forth from the Darkspawn, changing and contorting them beyond anything that could ever be recognized. Their twisted faces - now gorged and transformed - turning to then consume the men of their party even as they screamed for mercy and death.

These were her new nightmares.

Her new existence.

And now as they travelled these Deep Roads, Riel understood precisely why the Grey Wardens of ages past always fared worse during Blights than when the land was in relative peace from their wretched and forsaken kind.

Weaving under a dizzy spell, Riel tried to not close her eyes as she steadied herself. She could not stand to see those images anymore. She didn't want to hear the endless screams anymore. Instead Riel gritted her teeth and threw out her arm, using the web covered wall beside her as a way to help anchor the world that seemed to move on its own beneath her feet.

"Wynne! Oghren's hurt!" Leliana's voice called out, drawing Riel back to the scene before her and out of the darkness of her own mind.

"I'm coming!" the elder mage called out, stepping around a nearly decapitated ogre.

"Status!" Riel called out, demanding her eyes to obey her and focus properly for once.

"It ain't a big problem -  **ow**! Damn it all, you sodding woman! That's attached!" Oghren cursed out from behind Riel.

"Be thankful that it still is, dwarf. I'm amazed you could still lift your arm considering how deep this wound is…" Wynne's soft voice chided.

"The four legged beast limps, yet otherwise seems unharmed. The witch is holding its head, the large squishy male is finding valuables, and as per usual, I am fine."

"Thanks, Shale," Riel tried to smile, yet just couldn't work up the energy at the moment.

"And you,  _mi bella_?" Zevran's voice soothed from Riel's other side.

 _No_ … "Yeah. Just fine," she lied, looking him over.

As per usual, the elf looked amazing to her eyes. A welcome balm to her senses after so much bloodshed and death and horror that surrounded Riel every moment. However, his eyes no longer laughed and he smiled much less than he used too. Still, he was her sanctuary. Her respite. Which was why she lied to him. Riel knew that he worried about her. His gorgeous honey-amber eyes drinking her in after each battle, making sure she was unharmed. His accented voice demanding out healing if she was.

 _How could I ever have thought to leave him behind?_  Riel thought to herself briefly as she looked at him.

Zevran bit his lip at Riel's usual answer to his oft asked question. He knew she wasn't 'fine'. Far from it, actually. Yet there was no use in arguing with her. They had already fought enough about her and her reason for being in these blasted tunnels. Even after leaving Orzammar, during that first night camping beside a caved in section of the Deep Roads. Zevran had watched her as she trembled in fear even though he held her protectively in his arms. He had heard her screams the few times she passed out from sheer exhaustion. He had dried her tears when she cried desperate sobs in her sleep. And through each battle they encountered, Zevran made sure to never leave her side despite the odds or what they faced.

However, with each hour that passed, Zevran witnessed his love having a harder time recovering from each fight they encountered. Her continued struggle to even remain standing made Zevran curse wildly at the ill fated luck that brought them to this place. Quickly, Zevran scanned the walls around them once more, hoping to find the last ingredient he needed for Morrigan's concoction. However, the required drakestone was proving to be even more illusive than the deathroot was so far underground.

A shopkeeper back in Orzammar had told him that the giant venomous spiders would sometimes collect the red stones, being drawn to the way they glittered in the sparse light from the various fires. However, the creatures would take them to their nests, settling the precious stones in amongst their eggs and the remains of previous victims. Even if Zevran could actually find a nest belonging to creatures, it would be unlikely he would be able to leave alive.

Cursing to himself once more, Zevran placed a comforting hand on Riel's back, gently rubbing her through the thick leathers that she wore. At least she still accepted his touch, even if she was still angry at him. A small thing, however one that Zevran was immensely grateful for.

"Get off me, you flaming woman!" Oghren cursed out again, taking his arm back from Wynne's hold.

"I need to see if there is any underlying damage to the nerves, dwarf," Wynne replied, her voice harder than it normally was.

"I'm fine. The Darkspawn aren't going to kill themselves!" Riel heard the heavy clumps of the dwarf's footsteps come up from behind her. "So where to, Warden?"

"We keep following the passage leading out of here. The maps Bhelen gave me show a small dent in the next area up ahead. Probably no more than a couple hundred yards. We can camp there for a while," stated Riel, not even bothering to look down at him as she spoke. Her eyes instead were focused up ahead as always. Not on any building or landmark that could be seen in that direction. No, as was her new usual way, Riel's eyes remained unfocused on the things before her. As if she were staring at something only she could see.

Something Zevran knew to be all too true for his precious Warden.

" _Mi bella_ , there is a building that we passed just a few minutes ago. Perhaps we could backtrack-"

"No! We go forward!" Riel snapped, cutting off his words before lurching herself forward, her feet barely finding the ground beneath her as she walked away.

"She is getting worse."

Zevran looked beside him to Morrigan, no longer surprised by the silent way that she moved amongst them. "Aye, and I don't know how much more of this she can take," Zevran sighed.

"I can do nothing beyond my current efforts until I have that stone. Until then, do what you must, assassin." Morrigan looked at him, holding his eyes with her hard gaze. "There are more dangerous things down here than just Darkspawn and spiders. And unless you can take her mind away from the evil that calls to her, we shall be burying her-"

"I will  **not**  accept that, Morrigan!" he hissed, his features going dark.

"I do not say this lightly, elf. Do not mistake me. However, your blade between her ribs shall be the kindest thing you should ever do for her, if the worst comes to pass." Morrigan's face was grim as she held his gaze a moment longer before stepping past him and following behind Riel.

"By the gods above, give me strength…" Zevran prayed, his chest gripped in bitter fear and heartache for his Warden. "I  _ **will not**_ let her die!"

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It turned out the small dent in the maps Riel held was in fact a small room shooting off from a the much larger area of the long forgotten thaig. And the room wasn't abandoned either. However, instead of spiders or Darkspawn, the lone inhabitant was a poor dwarf male who had become lost in the Deep Roads years ago. In fact, Riel had met the male's mother back in Orzammar, and had even told the woman that she would look for her son.

Never though in all of her wildest thoughts did Riel ever think they would find the male, despite what she promised the woman. Five long years had passed since he became stranded in amongst the Darkspawn and other creatures of the deep underground. Alone and without supplies, still the male had somehow survived, living off spider meat and - disgustingly - the flesh of Darkspawn.

Now insane from the taint that coursed through his veins, he had somehow resisted becoming a ghoul despite his long exposure. Now the male dwarf named Ruck lived in a long abandoned camp that was apparently first set up by Branka herself. Oghren had immediately recognized the markings on the floor and walls as belonging to the woman he had once married. Hope had sprang in his chest upon seeing it, despite how long the camp laid cold besides the lone dwarf who now occupied it.

Ruck himself was a useful fount of information and service, despite his insanity. Once Riel convinced the poor lad that she wasn't there to steal from him or kill him, Riel even managed to trade a few things with him. Nothing much, considered how light they travelled. A few potions, herbs, and even arrows that the boy had managed to scavenge from the beasts over the years.

The male dwarf seemed to have a fascination for shiny jewels, much like the spiders that populated the area around them. Various jewels of rubies, topazes, amethysts, garnets and others that were sometimes found clinging to the spider's carcasses of in the strings of their webs. Ruck's eyes going as bright as the gems themselves as he gathered them to to himself in gleeful exchange for the supplies and information. Most importantly of all, Riel learned of the location of an underground creek not too far away that held untainted and clean water. The small piece of knowledge was a much needed blessing for the group whose own supply was now dangerously low.

Deciding that the dwarf was not a danger to themselves - at least no more so than the other things that populated the dark tunnels that they travelled - Riel turned to the group and gave out orders to set up camp there for a few hours. As night and day were meaningless so far underground, Riel only had the vaguest concept of what day or time it truly was. Thankfully, Oghren, with his lifetime of experience living underground, provided her with his valuable instincts, making sure to keep them as close to on schedule as was possible.

"Fen, I want you standing watch with Leliana. You two take first watch, while Shale-" Riel turned to the stone golem, her neck craning to look up at him. "I want you to go check out this creek. You can pass easiest unnoticed amongst everything, as both the spiders and Darkspawn see you as just another golem. When you find it, scout the area, then come back here."

"Very well," it stated with a nod, before marching off towards the entrance to the room. Turning, Riel addressed the others.

"Sten, I want you taking watch with Wynne after Leliana and Fen. Then Zevran and I will take a turn, then lastly I want Shale and Morrigan taking their turn. When Shale gets back, I'll be going with it to the creek to gather us some water-"

"Pardon me,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran interjected, placing a hand on her arm. "The others can gather the water. You, however, need to rest."

"I told you, Zevran. I'm fine."

"He's right, Riel. You are running yourself down, doing all of this," Leliana chimed in, her soft voice harder than it usually was. However maybe that was just because like herself, they were all tired and weary from their journey since leaving Orzammar.

"There is no point in me just lying in the tent!" Riel snapped out, lancing them both with a glare. "I'm needed out  _here_. I still have to go over the next section of the map, and I wanted to see what I could find around here. Maybe Branka left something behind that could help us. Besides, I am the only one besides Shale who can walk nearly openly out there without being attacked. As long as I am not directly seen, the Darkspawn just think that I am one of them."

"I wasn't saying that as a discussion, Riel," Zevran bit back to her. Looking over at him, Riel almost opened her mouth to argue, yet stopped when she saw how dark his features were.  _He was angry at her!_  Why, Riel had no idea. True, she was more snappy than she usually was. However, she never meant it as anger at him. She was just in pain, both physically and mentally.

"The others are correct. You will rest. I will go with the golem and fetch the water, then do my watch," Sten's low voice echoed from nearby the small bed where Ruck slept.

"Leliana and I will go over the maps, while Morrigan uses the water the boys gather to brew up some potions from the supplies you traded from that young man, Ruck."

Riel looked over at Wynne, feeling a bit betrayed at how they all seemed to be ganging up on her. "Last time I looked, I was still in charge of this little expedition!" Riel snapped, her eyes burning fire as she looked at her companions. She  _hated_  feeling useless. Like she was being ordered around and didn't have a choice in her actions. While leading this ragtag group of adventurers was difficult even during the best of times, Riel was used to it now. She took comfort in knowing what each person was doing and why. In knowing each step in the plan and what to expect from those around her.

By the Dread Wolf, this was  _ **her**_  group. And she wasn't just going to go take a Voidforsaken nap while they all worked! Not while she could be doing  _something_  herself!

"No! This is still-"

"Riel!" Zevran shouted, his voice hard and his face stern as she looked at him.

"What?!" she yelled back with just as much anger. Together, they just stared at the other person in cold silence, their wills doing battle instead of their words. Finally, Zevran shook his head and cursed out in Antivan before approaching her. Sighing, he bent his head down and whispered to her softly.

"May I speak with you?" he said softly, the anger that laced his voice previously now gone and replaced with the sweetness Riel had grown accustomed to. However, Riel was still greatly aggravated, and looking at her hard glare and the way her tense body stood next to him, Zevran sighed tried again. " _Please, mi bella_? Privately. Just for a moment."

Zevran held his breath and again found himself praying to the gods that she agreed. Shouting and fighting with her was not something he wanted to do. It solved nothing other than anger both of them further. And neither did it do very much in accomplishing his goal of getting his poor Warden to finally relax as much as she could in this godforsaken place.

Scowling in frustration and anger, Riel finally let out a huff and agreed. Cursing herself for her weakness towards the other elf, she followed him as he led her towards the back of the small room and away from the others. There she folded her arms across her chest and glared at the floor below, her foot tapping in impatience.

"You know, you're beautiful when you are angry," Zevran began, eliciting a choked laugh from Riel before she glared at him.

"Is that why you seriously brought me back here?" she replied, trying to hold on to her anger despite the sweet way he was looking at her just then. It was the same look he used to have when he looked at her, back on the surface before they ever entered this cursed place.

" _Mi bella_ , come here," Zevran purred, opening up his arms for her. "Let me hold you, just for a moment. Let me feel you against me."

Riel almost told him to sod off, but she couldn't manage to push the words out past her lips no matter how much she wanted to. Not with the kind way he looked at her that called out to a similar ache that she felt in her chest. Creators, how long had it been since they just held each other? How long had it been since Riel had actually felt safe? Or even been given more than just a light kiss goodnight or in welcome?

Too long. Since before Orzammar Riel realized. Before she and Zevran had rejoined with the others. When it had just been the two of them, alone in the wilderness. That was the last time Riel could even remember being happy. Even just a little bit.

Sighing, Riel gave in to the ache in her chest and walked into his arms. And by Mythal, did it ever feel good to have his arms wrap protectively around her. She had been so busy lately. So angry. So confused, and tired, and lost in the chaos of trying to settle everyone's problems. Shuddering, Riel lost herself to the warmth that he gave to her; his presence surrounding her until all she could feel was him.

"You work yourself too thin,  _mi bella_ ," he finally said to her, his voice heavy with concern.

"They need me, Zevran," Riel sighed against his chest.

"The others can handle this for now."

"It's not just them, though.  _Everyone_  needs me. The others, Bhelen, hell all of Orzammar is counting on me to find this woman. And that is just here…. On the surface-"

"Are problems that can be dealt with when we  _return_  there. Until then, they can left to the side."

"I miss the sun, Zevran," Riel suddenly stated sadly. "I miss the wind on my skin. The way the moon shined down and could light up an entire area even though it was nighttime. I miss the stars, and the trees, and smell of morning dew everyday when I woke up…"

"We will be gone from here soon,  _mi bella_."

"Sometimes, I wonder about that," Riel laughed darkly, her hand coming up to wipe at her eyes. "I feel like we've been down here for years…" She was silent for a few minutes then, her mind working through its memories. "You know, the first time I ever remember seeing the sun was when I finally left that house."

She didn't have to say  _which_  house it was. Zevran already knew without even asking. The house where she was kept and brutalized in ways that still made Zevran's blood boil.

"I was blinded by it when I opened the door. I was so scared. And everything around me was burning. But as soon as that door opened, I was  _blind_." She paused, lost in her memory. "I think that is why I ran in the direction I did. I couldn't see, so I didn't know if there was others around or if there other buildings. I couldn't see anything, so I just  _ran_. As hard and as fast as I could. If there were other humans around, I never heard them over the rushing in my ears. And from what the Keeper said, none came looking for me after." She paused and took a deep breath. "But that first time… It was  _beautiful_. Even though it made me blind because of how bright it was, it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw."

"You will see the sun again,  _mi bella_. I will take you free from this place, and you will be able to see and feel it again."

"When I die-"

"You are  _ **not**_  going to die!" he interrupted harshly, squeezing her tighter.

" _When_  I die," Riel continued on a bit more forcefully despite his anger. "Please don't bury me. Not in the ground. Not where it's dark and I can't see the sun."

Zevran reached down and pulled her face up to his, staring deeply into her eyes even as tears threatened to fall from them. "I swear it to you,  _mi bella_ ," he breathed out before kissing her, pulling and teasing out her passion like he did before this underground nightmare began. "However, until that day, many,  _many_  years from now, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. Even if that means making you rest when you need it," he added, a small smirk on his lips.

Riel smiled sadly, knowing instinctively that her years were not so many as he would like to think that there was. However, she couldn't bring herself to tell him. Not yet. Not when they were finally so close to each other after so long of being separate despite him being at her side.

"Now, please  _mi bella…_ let me care for you. I know you are exhausted. I see it in your eyes, and it pains me how much you are suffering."

Riel sighed, her mind going back to her nightmares and the images she couldn't seem to escape from. "Zevran…" she all but whimpered.

"Just for a little while," he quickly added before she could object again. Sadly, Riel nodded, too weary to fight with him anymore. "Excellent. You will not regret it,  _mi bella_." Zevran smiled far too broadly for how badly she felt. "Now, just wait here. I will be right back," he stated before placing a quick kiss to her lips before darting off towards the others.

 _Now what?_  Riel wondered with a sigh, leaning against the back wall.

" _Mi amiga_!" Zevran called out to Leliana as he approached her.

She and Wynne were looking at the maps that Riel carried in their party pack. Oghren was also with the women, giving his advice and experience to them as they planned the next part of their journey.

"How is she?" Leliana asked as she straightened up from the rock that she held the maps against, worry etched on her pretty face.

"That is what I come to see you about," Zevran replied, looking to each of them in turn. "Despite our obvious rush to find this Branka and return to Orzammar, I think it would be best if we were to stay here for a bit of an extended stay."

"What? What are you talking about elf?" Oghren snapped, his eyes narrowing on Zevran. "This isn't some fancy tavern here, safe behind Orzammar's thick and heavily reinforced doors. There are Darkspawn out there. A whole blighted army of them. And you want to stop and have a little vacation down here?"

"Not a vacation, my smelly friend," Zevran corrected smoothly. "Just an extra day. Or whatever it would be, that is."

"Because of Riel?" Leliana asked. Zevran quickly looked behind him towards the back of the room where Riel waited.

"She is losing her fight,  _mi amiga_." he replied quietly, returning his golden eyes to meet her sparkling green.

"Do you think staying down here longer is wise then?"

"Pushing herself as she does is what is not wise, my lovely Wynne. If she does not slow down and rest, I am afraid…" Zevran swallowed as he remembered her request to him. "I fear she believes she will die down here. And without our help, I fear she just might."

"What do you need, Zevran?" asked Leliana, the sadness and fear in her eyes matching his own.

"Just your cooperation. And time. And perhaps, a little  _discretion_ ," Zevran stated the last word with a meaningful glint in his eye.

"Ahh… I see…" Leliana giggled softly. "You plan to  _woo_  her, and make her too exhausted to hear the dark whispers that speak to her."

"That is only part of my evil plan,  _mi amiga bella_ ," he replied with a chuckle before becoming serious again. "When she is finally able to rest, there is something  _else_  I must ask of you. However, it is dangerous. Carrying with it an almost certain chance of dismemberment, disembowelment, and most assuredly death. Most painfully, I might imagine."

"Count me in," Leliana immediately stated, her face bright in a sly smile.

"Although I have to wonder at what deeds could be going that through that mind of yours, you shall have my help as well."

"Ah sod it," Oghren grumbled. "If the Warden really is as bad off you say, then it'd do no good to just stand around with my hammer up my arse. I'll help too."

"Excellent!" Zevran exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "Now, I just have to speak to the ever lovely Morrigan. Do you think she has any of those herbs left over from when we drugged Alistair?"

"Oh probably," Leliana laughed. "By the Maker, that woman is a walking apothecary!"

"Then let us begin to save our Warden, shall we?" Zevran replied with a wink.


	27. The Passion of Broken Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Chapter rated M (mature) 18+ for adult content.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi amiga: Antivan. "My friend."
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Derriere: Another word for arse.
> 
> Amante: Antivan. "Lover."
> 
> Emma lath: Elvhen. "My love."
> 
> Mi reina: Antivan. "My queen."
> 
> Ma vhenan: Elvhen. "My heart."

If she was honest about it with herself, Riel would have to admit that she rather enjoyed watching Zevran setting up their tent and putting their belongings away. The way his muscles bunched when he bent over, or the way they stretched back out when he stood again. The look of calm determination on his face was something that Riel had seen often over the weeks; a look he often used when he was set on a course of action either in battle or outside of it. If any of their companions could match her stubbornness, it would definitely be her bronze skinned lover.

Even when Riel had tried to sneak off to see what the others were up to, Zevran's keen senses immediately caught her as she tried futilely to slip away. With a far too charming smile and gently chiding, he would lead Riel back to the furs he had set out for her against the back of the wall. Something that did more to annoy her rather than endear, even if a niggling part of her mind secretly enjoyed his pampering.

Now with their tent set up near the back wall of the room they occupied, Riel could almost thank Zevran for offering them a bit of privacy away from the rest of the party's eyes and ears. True, it was only several feet of distance, but it was a rather nice compared to the huddle of bedrolls they usually used when they rested in these dark pits. Riel was still uncomfortable with leaving the chores to the others, however. As much as her tired body enjoyed the bit of rest she had while watching Zevran set everything up, Riel just couldn't find it within herself to let go of her need to be productive and in control of things.

"There, all done,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran stated with his usual charming smile.

"I could have helped, Zevran. At the very least I could have helped keep watch while the others set up camp."

Zevran kneeled down to where Riel sat, his eyes sparkling with mischief and pretend hurt. "Oh, but then you would have denied me the pleasure of showing you my rather nice derriere whenever I bent over…."

"Your  _derriere_ , huh?" laughed Riel.

"I happen to know that I have a particularly handsome posterior," he said with a wink before turning around and gripping at his arse in front of Riel. "I know for sure that  _you_  have enjoyed grabbing at it while we make love,  _mi amor_." Riel was laughing now as she reached out and smacked Zevran's offered arse. "Oh, you're feeling a bit kinky tonight, are you  _amante_?"

"By the Creators, Zevran! Put that thing away!"

"Just as well," Zevran said with a seductive sigh, turning around to face Riel again. "I happen to know that the other side is much more  _pleasurable_  to you anyway…" Zevran then gently took her hand and placed it against the hard bulge behind his trousers.

"Zevran!" Riel exclaimed, snapping her hand back. "There are  _others_  just over there!" Riel motioned with her head to their other companions not ten feet away from them.

" _Mi bella_ , if I had my way, they would know all the way back in Orzammar what you sounded like as I brought you to climax," he replied with hooded eyes. Zevran then leaned into her, his lips lightly touching the hollow of her neck. "You are so beautiful when you release for me, Riel. When you find your pleasure in my hands," he started, running his hands down her side until they touched the juncture between her thighs. "Or in my lips." Riel couldn't help but moan as she felt his soft kisses along her neck. "Or perhaps even something  _harder_ …."

Riel cursed her weakness as she felt her resolve crumbling to pieces when he took her hand once more and placed it on his hard length. "Zevran, I…." she whispered, battling her needs and emotions with what he brain was telling her.

"Shh…. You have been pushing yourself so hard lately,  _mi bella_. Let me take away your stress and worry…"

Zevran then slid his arms around Riel's waist and nearly lifted her off the ground right where she was. Together they stood, Zevran's lips never far from her skin as he delivered feather light kisses to her exposed neck and jaw. With the practiced movements of an experienced lover, Zevran guided Riel the short distance to their tent, then just as easily as they stood, he led her inside the tent and then down upon the bedrolls he had set up.

"Zevran… the others," Riel tried to protest even as her fingers pulled at the clasps of his armor.

"Are not something to worry about,  _mi amor_. Let me take you away from all of this…." he purred as he quickly undid her armor with a speed that came not just with urgency but practice. "Lose yourself to me,  _mi amor_. Right now, it is just the two of us, out in the wilderness. Just you and I, as it was before any dwarves or Deep Roads."

Riel's mind went blank as she felt his lips on her own, his tongue delicately tasting and probing her mouth. Creators had she missed this. The feel of him over top of her. His lips on her skin, his hands caressing every inch of her as he worked her body in ways only he knew how. One moment she lay there, gasping and clinging to him, the next she was naked under his touch, her armor and undergarments gone and forgotten.

Desperate to feel him, Riel worked at his own armor and clothing, her tongue and lips leaving his mouth and finding their way to his own neck and perfectly pointed ears. Taking pleasure in the way he hissed as she ran her tongue along his ear, Riel giggled lustfully.

"I love the way you taste,  _emma lath_ ," she murmured with a smile against his skin.

"You taste sweeter than the finest ambrosia gifted by the gods,  _mi amor_ ," Zevran laughed in response, ducking his head down to take her breast into his mouth.

"By the Creators!" she exclaimed softly, her head thrown back and fingers winding in his hair.

Without even being conscious of the actions, Riel bit her lip in desire as she felt Zevran's now naked body sliding up against her own. The hard length between his legs no more a frightening thing, but a glorious weight pressed against her thighs. Zevran licked a line from one of her nipples to the other, loving the way her back arched up to meet his lips.

"Touch me,  _mi bella_ , and know that I am for you. Always," he purred, taking Riel's hand and placing it on his straining shaft. Gritting his teeth against the pleasure, Zevran again marveled at how well she handled him. How she knew just where to put pressure and where to drag her fingers. Truly, her hands upon him was a delicate and sublime torture.

"I love you, Zevran…" Riel moaned, watching through lusty eyes at how his whole body moved as she held him. Again Zevran's lips latched to hers, teasing and tormenting her with his passion as he gently fondled her breast.

"I will always love you,  _mi bella_ ," he replied huskily against her lips before kissing her again.

Slowly his hand slid down her chest and over her abdomen, gripping her writhing hips momentarily before moving further south down her body. When he reached her center, Riel couldn't keep the hearty moan back as he cupped her. With careful motions he massaged her most sensitive area, his smile deepening as he watched her twist and writhe under him.

"You truly are beautiful when you come for me,  _mi bella_. The sounds you make are the sweetest that ever have touched mortal ears. Will you do it now for me? Will you release for me, as I touch you as you deserve?"

Zevran than glided a finger inside of her, followed a second. The feeling of of his lips against her and his touch inside of her tipping the scale and sending Riel into a sweet release. Her nails dug into his shoulders as her hips ground down against his hand, her throaty groan music to Zevran's ears.

"That's it,  _mi bella_ … Lose yourself to me…. Lose yourself to the pleasure I give to you."

"Zevran!" Riel exclaimed breathlessly, his skillful fingers dragging another release out of her even before she fully recovered from the first one.

"Tell me what you desire,  _mi amor_ … Tell me and it is yours."

"I want…" she breathed, caught between desire and shyness. "I want…"

"Tell me… Tell me your desires…"

Riel felt her face go red not just from the pleasure he gave to her, but from the heat of embarrassment. She didn't know how to ask for things. How to explain the feelings and desires in her mind. Hey body knew, yet translating that to words and pushing them out past her tongue were more difficult.

With her hips twisting against his touch, Riel reached up and ran her fingers gently over his perfect lips. She let out a surprised moan when Zevran took her fingers into his mouth, running his tongue over the pads and gently suckling the tips. Riel closed her eyes and tilted her head back, reveling in the feel of his tongue dancing over her fingers.

"I think I know what  _mi reina_  desires…" he chuckled darkly, releasing her fingers. With slow languid kisses, Zevran moved down Riel's body, making sure to kiss every scar and blemish in her skin as he did so. When his head became flush with her hips, Zevran teased her by kissing and running his tongue along the inside of her thighs. " _Mi reina_  wishes her devoted follow have a proper feast, and I ever so grateful," purred just before dragging his tongue slowly against her core.

"Zevran!" Riel shouted, her hips jumping up from the bedroll beneath her.

"I wish to hear my name on your glorious lips when you come for me. I wish for you to know that no other is here with you, and that for as long as you will have me, you are mine alone,  _mi bella_."

Zevran then went work, lapping and suckling at her, his talented tongue working in tandem with his fingers inside of her. Again and again, he would bring to the very edge of madness before easing back again, drawing out her orgasm with expert touches and flicks of his tongue.

"Zevran,  _please_ …  _ma vhenan…._ " she cried out as her body strained under his touch.

"Let me know that it is just you and I that fills your mind…"

" **Zevran!** " Riel roared out as a shattering release tore through her. With careful caresses, he rode out her storm as she bucked and twisted against him until her throaty moans became desperate mewls.

In a single smooth motion Zevran glided up Riel's body, pressing a deep kiss to her while he positioned his hips against hers. The sweet mingling of her tastes making him both dizzy with satisfaction yet hungry for more. In truth, he doubted that he could ever get enough of his precious Riel. His breathing labored through desire, Zevran looked down at his woman, committing the look of her flushed and pleasured face to his memory.

"Do you trust me,  _mi bella_?" he whispered softly to her. She looked up at him puzzled for a moment, then nodded her head.

"With everything," she responded back to him, her worry being lost in the love she felt for him.

Zevran pulled back from her and onto his knees, then with careful hands turned Riel over so her back faced him. He then brought her back flush against his chest, one hand cupping her breast while another found her sensitive nub and massaged it gently. Delivering light kisses and soft nibbles to her neck and shoulder, Zevran carefully brought her body close yet again. When he felt her climax rising, he gently nudged her legs apart further, bringing his hard erection right up against her core.

"Do you accept me, Riel?" he whispered hoarsely into her ear. Riel nodded her head, too far lost to speak. "I need to hear you,  _mi bella_. Do you accept me?" he asked again, his voice firmer and more demanding this time.

"Yes, Zevran! I accept you!" she cried out in yearning. Her cries were immediately cut short however as she felt him slide deeply into her. Deeper than ever before, even. "Gods, Zevran!" she exclaimed as he filled her completely.

"I will not let  _them_  have you, Riel!" he breathed into her ear as he moved inside of her. "I will see you free from this!"

Over and over again, he pulled her down on to his shaft, each stroke affirming in his heart the vows he made to her. And when he could no longer prolong his climax, Zevran lightly bit at the soft flesh of Riel's neck, not enough to cause pain but enough to mark her as his. With her name heavy on his lips as he released into her, the sound of her own climax echoed in his ears as a sweet symphony of fulfilled desire and need.

Spent, Zevran carefully lowered Riel down to the bedrolls below, his arm wrapped around her middle in a protective embrace. When she laid contentedly on her stomach below him, Zevran took a moment to catch his breath. By the gods above, she was more than he ever could have wished for. And each time he held her in his arms and made love to her, he touched a piece of heaven he never knew existed. At least not for people like him.

She was everything to him. His heart. His life. The very air he breathed. And by the Maker and all other gods, he would protect her.

Zevran laid light kisses up her spine as he moved up her body, enjoying the soft moans of pleasure escaping from her lips. Before he succumbed to the desire to lay next to her, however, one final part of his plans involving her needed to be done. It wasn't that he wanted to do it, however it was the only way he knew to make sure that not only would she finally get some rest, but would also remain asleep long enough for him to complete his other tasks.

Carefully Zevran leaned his body over, opening the tent flap slightly and looking just outside. Smiling, Zevran was pleased to see Leliana did her small part in delivering the mug with the liquid inside.

" _Mi bella_ …?" he crooned softly.

"Hmhmm?" Riel answered, not bothering to even open her eyes let alone lift her head. Instead, a lazy and satisfied smile remained on her lips as she laid beneath him.

"I had Morrigan make you some headache medicine. It will help you sleep," he lied. Sort of. It  _was_  medicine to help her sleep. And she wouldn't feel her headaches while she slept either. But by the gods, he hated tricking her.

"I feel perfect right now, Zevran…." Riel groaned, her eyes still closed.

"However, you know I worry for you. Please, drink this and ease my concern…"  _Shit_ , he hated this.

Riel let out a deep groan as she turned around and sat up slightly. Looking first at the drink than at Zevran, her face scrunched together when she smelled the liquid he offered. "What is that? It smells familiar, but not in a good way…"

"It is the tea I made for you the other day before we left Orzammar that you forgot to drink. It will help you sleep. Which will in turn ease my worry." Zevran pulled out his well practiced charm despite how much he hated himself for it. Cursing himself silently, he forced himself to smile sweetly at her, hoping that she would believe him and take the drink.

"A pain medicine, huh?" she questioned, still looking dubious.

"Please, for me,  _mi bella_?" Yup, he was an asshole. And if wasn't for the fact that he needed to be in good condition for the next part of his plans, Zevran would have kicked his own ass for what he was doing. Probably still would too, later. That is if Riel didn't beat him to it. Although he would gladly fall on her dagger if it meant that she would survive the evils that plagued her mind down here in this Voidforsaken place.

"Only because I love you," Riel chided as she took the mug and swallowed a huge mouthful. After a breath, she swallowed again, then a third to finish the liquid entirely. "Feel better?" she smiled up at him as she handed back the mug.

 _Not in the slightest_  "Absolutely," he said instead. He then placed the mug on the ground before cuddling up next to his would-be wife. "Now please do me the honor of lying here next to me,  _mi bella_. I wish to hold you as you fall asleep."

"Now how can I refuse a request like that?" she giggled, feeling his strong arms encircle her as they laid down together.

"Know that everything I do, I do it because I love you, Riel."

"I...-" *yawn* "...love you too."

Zevran waited for a few moments, just feeling her against him as she drifted off into an easy sleep. The potion Morrigan brewed acted quickly, especially when combined with how tired his Riel already was. Within just a few minutes she was asleep, her breathing even and soft.

"I pray to the gods that you can forgive me,  _mi bella_ ," he whispered into her ear before reluctantly leaving her warm embrace.

He hated himself for what he had to do, yet he saw no alternatives that didn't result in his Warden either dying or becoming even worse than she already was. Zevran began to mentally berate himself as he quickly redressed and fastened his armor. Then with one last loving look down to his Riel, Zevran covered her with a blanket then departed the tent.

Over by the main fire, Leliana and Wynne already waited, with the dwarf Oghren standing off to the side speaking with the giant Sten. As soon the two women saw Zevran approach, they stood and met him halfway.

"She is asleep, then?" Leliana asked politely.

Zevran nodded, his face grim as he thought over the task that laid before them. "I want Sten and Morrigan to know that no matter what happens to us while we are gone, their priority is to Riel. She must be protected, at all costs," he stated firmly.

"Of course dear. They know how important she is," Wynne replied with her usual motherly smile.

"Those were quite the rutting sounds you two made there, elf!" Oghren laughed as he came over to where the other stood.

"Do not demean what we shared with such callous words, dwarf!" snapped Zevran, his eyes blazing fire at the other male.

"Hey, easy there! I only meant that it's good that you're taking care of her. She's been a bit too high strung since we entered the Deep Roads. Not that I've exactly known the Warden long. But it's good to see that she can enjoy a good dic- mwfh!"

"Ignore him, Zevran. He's either drunk too much or not enough. I haven't figured out which yet," Leliana stated quickly, her hand over the dwarf's mouth to keep him from finishing what he was saying.

Zevran speared the dwarf with a lethal glare before reigning in his anger. Shifting his eyes to Leliana, he addressed her as calmly as he could. "Does Morrigan and Sten know the plan?"

"We spoke to them just a few moments ago," Wynne replied. "I taught Morrigan the shield spell that I used to keep the demons away from the children in the Circle Tower. Once we leave she is to put it up and wait for us to return. Sten and Fen'harel are here to help guard Riel in case the shield fails for whatever reason."

"And Morrigan said that we have at least a full twenty four hours before Riel begins to even stir, which should give us plenty of time to find a nest and get the stone."

"You are quite the optimist, Leliana," Zevran chuckled darkly.

"Well I have to be, with all you gloom and doom types around here," she laughed softly before her features becoming serious again. "You know, I worry about you, as well, Zevran. You may not be dealing with the same…  _things_ … as Riel is, but I doubt you have slept much either since we left Orzammar. It is not good for you."

"I will sleep when we have the stone,  _mi amiga_ ," he replied, brushing her off. As if he was actually going to find rest while his Warden struggled to keep her sanity in between the evils that spoke her to her and the nightmares that plagued her? Perhaps if the gods favored them, and they returned with a suitable stone in time, he would able to get some rest beside his Riel before the potion he gave to her wore off. It would after all, probably be the last time he actually got to sleep next to her.

After seducing her, then lying to her, then drugging her, Zevran wouldn't be surprised to find that she sent him away prementally. Not that he would exactly leave. She wouldn't see him, but he would continue to watch over her. To protect her as he vowed to do.

 _You also vowed to never lie to her_ he thought bitterly. Cursing to himself once more, Zevran looked over the people who would accompany him on this near suicidal mission. Leliana would provide the necessary ranged support, while he, Oghren, and the golem Shale dealt with the spiders up close. Wynne was coming to make sure they would all survive the encounter and make it back alive. And if he didn't, Zevran had made Leliana vow on the Maker himself that she would take care of Riel for him.

"So! Are we ready to face our certain doom for the slight chance of gaining a single stone?" Zevran asked the others, his voice full of false bravado and charm.

"We'll get the stone, Zevran. I trust that the Maker will guide us to it, and then guide us all back here safely."

"Ahh… I hope you are right, Leliana," Zevran sighed. With sad eyes, he looked behind him to the tent in the far back which held his sleeping Warden. "We  _ **have**_  to. I can  **not**  break any more promises to her."


	28. Spiders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi amiga bella: Antivan. "My beautiful friend."

"We are close now. The webbing is thicker down that tunnel than in any place that I have seen so far," Oghren stated as he pointed down the dark tunnel before them.

"Those are fire crystals that Riel found for you, aren't they Shale?" Leliana asked the golem next to her.

"Indeed. I shall be able to burn the nasty things with them as I squish their little bodies," it replied with obvious relish.

"Leliana, Wynne, stay back and ready yourselves. Shale, if you would be so kind as to take point? Their venoms and fangs do nothing against your formidal rock surface."

"You sound like the Warden, elf," it grunted. "Be careful or I might start to respect it a little bit."

"That would indeed be a travesty, my powerful and unique friend," Zevran added with a shallow laugh.

The five of them had been following the trail of webbing that Shale had found earlier when it had scouted for water. The long and twisting tunnels that were dug by both dwarf and Darkspawn over the years were not on the maps that Riel had been using to lead them for the past few days. Thankfully whatever 'stone sense' that Oghren had innate to him from years of being underground proved to be useful beyond just the telling of time. The dwarf had a keen sense of direction even this far beneath the surface and lacking any landmarks to guide them.

Now though, as Zevran looked down the dark and thickly webbed tunnel before him, he began to feel true trepidation since leaving the camp where his Riel lay sleeping. Their battles against the eight legged monsters hadn't been overly difficult, but neither had they been easy. And the numbers of the creatures had always been manageable. Five or six spiders wasn't something Zevran would worry about not walking away from. Who knows how many would be hiding in amongst their nest, however?

"Wynne, you know how to cast a fireball,  _no_?" he asked the mage behind him.

"Of course dear! I may be a healer by nature, but all mages trained in the Circle know a little of elemental magic."

"Good. When I tell you, I wish for you launch as strong of a blast as you can past Shale and into the nest. Oghren and I shall stay behind Shale for protection."

"I am to be your shield then? I take back my comment about respect. The idea is foolish."

"And I suppose you have better plan?" Zevran snapped.

"Yes. We go back to the camp and forget about this foolishness!" Shale bit back, its glowing eyes narrowing on Zevran.

"The Warden needs this! And I would gladly risk my life for hers, you overgrown skipping stone!"

"Well, that's one I haven't heard before," Shale chuckled. "Very well elf. I suppose a foolish plan is better than letting that squishy knight be the last hope for you mortals against the Blight."

Zevran sighed heavily and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I think I am beginning to understand why Riel gets headaches…" he mumbled to himself.

"Off we go then. I will lead, and  _I_  will signal the mage when to cast its spell. The crystals in my rock should act as amplifier to the spell if I release the burst at the same time." Shale looked over to Wynne, its eyes almost pleading. "And do try to aim past me properly. I would hate for the Grey Warden to lose its favorite toy."

Zevran nearly bit his own tongue off trying to keep himself from replying to the golem's snide remark. Funny, he never before noticed how much Shale would question and talk back when given orders when Riel was around. Perhaps it just respected her more, although Zevran doubted it. The only thing the rock giant seemed to respect was Sten, as they were often seen speaking when they shared a turn at keeping watch.

Shale turned from them and began to walk down the tunnel, its crystals lighting up with each step it took. Their glow alone seemed enough to light the tunnel around them, the darkness seeping away as the various noises of skittering claws and fangs along rock got louder. At the end of the tunnel, the light from Shale's crystals illuminated a room larger than some of the thaigs they have seen. And along the walls and the floor, things of all sizes moved and vibrated when the light touched them.

"By the Ancestors! Look at the size of it!" Oghren gasped as he looked around.

All around, the walls shimmered in the light, reflecting the multitude of gems and stones the spiders had gathered over the centuries. Trapped within webbing and globs of unknown dark ooze, they reminded Zevran of the night sky - twinkling brightly against a dark blanket. However, that gems were not the only thing that shimmered and moved along the webs.

The very room seemed to come alive as the walls, ceiling, and even floor began to move in response to their intrusion. And deep in the back of the large expanse of crawling and skittering bodies, a faint blue glow emitted the tell tale sign of lyrium. A large vein of the precious metal had been exposed by gods only know what, flooding the area with it's light and power.

"Now would be a good time, mage!" Shale cursed out just as the floor started to move like a wave towards them. Shale's crystals glowed even brighter, nearly blinding those behind it with their brilliance.

"Take cover!" Wynne yelled before gathering as much energy she could and funneling it into her spell. Then with an outreach of her staff, a huge ball of fire rushed past both Zevran and Oghren, barely missing them.

The screeching of dying vermin was only outdone by the horrid smell of their burning flesh. An echo of screams reverberated off the web coated walls, bouncing back their nightmarish sounds to the companions in deafening amplification. Still the creatures persisted, however. Their flaming bodies clawing and snipping at Shale and those behind it.

"They are coming! Brace yourselves!" Zevran shouted behind him as dark bodies rushed past him to the women beyond.

"I have them!" Leliana could be heard, the sound of her arrows silencing the spider's screams.

"How I  **hate**  squishy, vile, disgusting-" Shale paused in her tirade to step on a spider's head. "Crawling, slithering-" another spider's dead as its mandibles were ripped free from its mouth by the cursing golem. "Their blood and ooze are getting  _everywhere_! How disgusting!" it continued on as it stomped and smushed the creatures that tried crawling over or past it.

"Aghh!" Zevran cursed foully as he pulled his dagger free from the now dead spider in front of him. With a quick turn, he stabbed out to his left, slicing off the clawed appendage that now protruded from his leg. "Not today!" he hissed before slashing out, removing the front half of the spider's face, killing it.

Pain assaulted his senses immediately as the poison rushed through his system. His eyesight waived, however Zevran refused to bow to it. Gritting his teeth he cut out with his blades again, taking down several of the beasts in his heated anger.

"Zevran!" Leliana called out.

Raising his head to look up at the female rogue, Zevran's breath froze as he watched the woman being backed against the wall as several spiders encircled her. Unknown to her, another spider stealthily crawled down the wall above her, poised to strike.

"I'll get the mage, you get the redhead!" Oghren could be heard somewhere off to the side. Zevran barely heard him before he sprang forward, ignoring the blazing pain in leg as he launched himself onto the hairy back of the closest spider.

"Above you!" He cursed out before stabbing the one below him with dagger, then removing several of the legs of spider next to him.

Leliana had just managed to cock an arrow and move her bow straight up before the black spider attacked. Zevran heard the woman scream as the thing fell on her, blocking the woman from his sight.  _Damn it all!_  he cursed, spinning his blade at a fanged mouth that was aiming for his bleeding leg.

 _Riel will never forgive me if she dies_ … It was no small secret that the women were close. Even closer than Riel was to the witch Morrigan. And if Leliana died because of  _his_  mission to attain a stone - whether it would help Riel or not - Zevran knew that it would crush his lovely Riel more than his own lies would have done.

Fear and anger shooting through him, Zevran leaped and sank his blade into the spider's hind quarters, hearing it scream in agony a sweet reward to his ears. The spider then went motionless and limp, however, so was the tiny female that could barely be seen under the creature. With a great heave, Zevran pushed the spider off of Leliana, surprised to see the woman's back up dagger sticking out from the creature's chest.

"Leliana, do you live?" he asked hurriedly, bending down to check on her. She was unresponsive, her eyes closed and her head off to the side. There was a deep gash in her shoulder, just a few inches above where her heart would be. "Wynne!" Zevran called out before again trying to rouse the woman. "You cannot leave us yet,  _mi amiga bella_. You know our Warden would be incredibly cross with both of us if you did. And you have seen her when she gets angry…" Zevran's voice broke as he spoke. " **Wynne!** " he called out again over his shoulder.

"Out of the way!" the old woman hissed, nearly pushing Zevran down as she hurried to the fallen archer. "She is just unconscious, but there is venom in her blood." Zevran would have smiled in relief at hearing that she was still alive, if he didn't feel as if the world beneath him was just ripped free. "Oh shit…" Wynne cursed as she watched Zevran fall over and land in a crumpled heap on the ground. His open eyes looked vacant and unseeing as his head rolled to the side. "Oghren! Shale! I need cover!" she hollered out to the others. Wynne then closed her eyes, summoning not just her own magic, but the secret spirit that rested within her.  _Please, I need your aid…_  she mentally whispered to it.

"Ancestor's flaming arse, what happened?"

"Just keep the bastards off me while I heal them!" Wynne shouted above the screaming of the spiders.

Closing her eyes once more, Wynne delved deep into her pool of magic, pulling forth every ounce of healing she could find and then poured it into the two unconscious people next to her.  _Maker preserve us_ …. Wynne prayed over and over as she worked her magic.  _Don't take them from her. Not now._

"Hey golem! You heard the lady! Get your arse over here and help, you blightbitten rock sludge!" Oghren called out just as he brought his hammer down on the top half of an attacking spider, squishing it under the blow. However, the glow of Shale's crystals was gone, the only light to be seen being the glow of healing that Wynne created with her magic.

 _Where was that golem now? There are too many of them!_  Oghren mentally cursed as he swung out his hammer once more.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

_She was running again. The burning cuts of the branches and bushes a reminder of the flames she had called forth. However even the pain they caused as they tore at her flesh wasn't enough to make her stop. She couldn't stop. She had to get away. Far, far away from them. From anyone. Away from pain and anger and hatred so deep it burned like the fire that consumed her._

_**You can't escape them** _

_It was that voice again. That deep, hypnotic voice that she both recognized yet couldn't place._

_**They will find you** _

_No! She will keep running! She will run so far that no one would be able to find her again!_

_**They will always find you** _

_She tripped then, falling down to the hard ground below. The bright light in sky was still so blindingly bright, but slowly the world around her started to come into focus. There was a wetness under her. Something warm and wet… and red…_

_**You cannot escape them** _

_She saw the bodies then. Screaming, she skittered away, yet there was blood everywhere. Blood and bodies of elves and humans. Of a dwarf and a giant with grey skin. Their bodies ripped apart and laid open as if they were some grotesque offering._

_**They will find you** _

_The faces of the bodies were gone, but she knew them. She_ knew  _them! They were the ones she travelled with. The ones that depended on her. Her companions. Her friends. Her…._

_**You will feed from him** _

_No! It can't be! She reached forward a shaking hand and touched the male elf that laid before her. His chest was ripped open, and his face was chewed off by some animal. His body was disfigured, an arm in pieces and gone from where it should have been._

_**You hear it, don't you?** _

_She was trembling so bad, it felt as if the whole world shook under her. Yet there was a sound she could hear above her labored breathing and the roaring in her ears. A slow and measured rhythmic beating coming from the body beside her. Carefully she leaned forward, tears running down her face and mixing with the blood that covered her._

_His heart. It still beat. It was shallow, and labored. Yet there it was._

_**You know what to do** _

" _I can't," she cried desperately._

_**You know what to do!** _

_The voice screamed out to her. The words wrapped themselves around her throat and choking her with invisible fingers. Her hand reached out on its own even as she cried for it to stop. Inside the chest of the elf it reached, his warm blood covering her fingers as she clasped the beating organ and ripped it free._

_**You will do it!** _

_Revulsion and pain lashed at her so deep that it almost broke her in half. She didn't want this. She didn't want to do this. However her body was no longer her own. With a feral cry of anger mixed with grief, she shoved the beating organ into her mouth and tore the flesh to pieces. WIth greedy bites she consumed it all, feeling the flesh slide down her throat and into her belly._

_**You shall never escape us** _

_The trembling got worse all of a sudden as her skin broke out in a painful itch and fiery burn. It wasn't the soothing burn from before when she had called forth her fire, however. This time the burning was wicked and foul, biting and tearing at her even as she screamed out in agony. She tore at the flesh of her arms, desperate to make the pain to go away. The flesh pulled away easily, revealing an ugly and puckered grey flesh underneath. It was the flesh of her enemy, yet it lived under her own skin. Rotted and foul, the grey flesh tingled as it was released and breathed in the around it._

_A mirror suddenly appeared in front of her. A mirror from her memories. It's wooden frame decorated with jewels and carvings of autumn leaves. The misty glass then cleared, slowly revealing the face of her enemy. Only, it wasn't her enemy looking back at her. Was it?_

_**You are us!** _

_She screamed at the vision, her diseased hands reaching up to her face. Horrified, she watched as the Hurlock in the mirror mimicked her actions exactly. It wasn't her enemy in the mirror looking back at her! It was HER!_

_**YOU ARE US!** _

" _ZEVRAN!" she wailed out in misery. Darkness began to sweep in, its dark tendrils reaching out to consume not just the horrific scene before her, but her own cursed body even as she continued to scream out in horror and despair._

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Out of the darkness of writhing spiders, a large figure appeared, its glowing limbs swinging out and smashing the creatures around it. A chorus of thundering blows mixed with the hearty laugh of the golem could be heard echoing towards the others as the golem slowly got closer.

"The numbers are decreasing, but there are still many more!" Shale replied as he joined Oghren's side. "Shall we see about giving the mage room to breathe then, short one?"

"Who you callin' short, ya nug's arsehole!" Oghren laughed back in time with one of his swings. Together they beat back the creatures, squishing and knocking the vile things back in a gruesome tandem of swings and blows.

"We must get back to the camp! I have them stable, but I need Morrigan to remove the venom from their blood!" Wynne cried out, her body shaking from the release of magic she just expelled to keep them alive.

"Ya heard the lady! Use that big body of yers for somethin' useful fer once! Pick up those two and haul that stone arse out of here! You too, old woman! I'll cover yer arses!" Oghren shouted, swinging his hammer in a large arch around him that knocked back several advancing spiders.

"Retreat it is then," Shale muttered as it roughly picked up both Zevran and Leliana, draping them over a shoulder each.

"Once we are away from the nest, they should stop coming in such numbers!"

"Yea, that's what I hope too… Now move it before that golem has to carry all four of our bleedin' bodies back!"

Quickly they rushed through the tunnels away from the nest of spiders, Shale moving with surprising speed despite its size and being made out of thick stone. When they turned into the first open area, their eight legged pursuers flowed forth from the tunnel as if they were liquid upon the ground. Their specially designed legs and claws gripping to the stone walls as they spread out, crawling up and around the tunnel opening.

"What in the name of the Ancestors!" an unknown dwarf called out from ahead of Shale. "Men! Light those arrows and fire on my command!"

"Well, it seems we're in a bit of a situation…" Shale grumbled as it slowed down as they got closer to the small cluster of dwarves in heavy armor.

"FIRE!" the lead dwarf called out, signally a huge barrage of flaming arrows that arched over the heads of the three of them.

"I don't think we need to worry about these ones, Shale," Wynne assured as she watched the arrows soar over them and into the swarm of spiders that chased them.

"The Ancestors looked favorably on us tonight!" Oghren laughed as he ran up to the lead dwarf. "Kardol, you old nug licker!" he exclaimed to the lead dwarf.

"Another volley, then take to arms, men!" Kardol called out, ignoring Oghren greeting.

Another wave of fire arrows shot over them, taking out more of the creatures as they spewed forth from the tunnel. Just when it looked as if all of them would be overrun with the spiders, they suddenly pulled back and retreated up the walls. In unison they disappeared up the walls and back into the tunnel they came from, leaving Riel's companions and the new group of dwarves standing in the middle of the open area without an enemy to fight.

"What in the name of the Paragons are you doing down here, Oghren? I thought you were stripped from carrying a weapon?!" Kardol hollered out as he stormed up to Oghren, his features cast in anger and disbelief.

"I'm here with the Grey Wardens, you sodding blighter!" Oghren laughed, either not noticing or choosing to ignore the other dwarf's obvious anger.

Kardol looked over to Wynne and Shale, his eyes narrowing on the bodies draped over the golem's shoulders. "The mage?" he asked, his eyes returning to Wynne.

"No, our Warden is uh… recovering…" Oghren stated, unsure of how to explain what was happening.

"And the golem? Where did you ever find that?"

" _It_  didn't find me, dwarf. The Warden did, long before we came to this grisly place," Shale replied in its usual snide manner.

"It talks too!" Kardol exclaimed, surprised.

"Excuse me, Kardol is it?" Wynne interrupted, stepping close to the dwarf. "We need to return to our camp quickly to help our companions. Once there, we can explain everything, but we must see to our injured. I hope you understand."

"Right! Sorry ma'am," Kardol said with a bow. "Tell me where you camped and my men and I will help guide you back. We're hunting a band of Darkspawn that our scouts said was in this area, so it's best if we make sure you get back to your companions in one piece. Don't need you ending up as food for the crawlers. Especially not if your friends of the Wardens."

Together they travelled through the tunnels, following more Oghren's keen sense than anything either Wynne or Shale recognized. Everything looked the same down there. From the collapsed and blocked roads, to the twisting and dark tunnels that spun off from the main roads themselves. All the while Oghren would speak with Kardol, explaining what he and others were doing in the Deep Roads to begin with. However, whether it was his own sense or that he just hadn't reached that part in his over embellished story yet, Oghren kept from mentioning the exact whys of the reason they were without their Warden or what they were doing so close to a spider's nest.

Instead, Oghren introduced Wynne, Shale, and the two still unconscious bodies that Shale carried. He then went on about how Kardol and his men were not apart of Orzammar itself. They were something entirely different, in fact. A whole caste of males and females who spent their lives travelling the Deep Roads, fighting the never ending menace of the Darkspawn.

The Legion of the Dead were what they called themselves. Casteless or disgraced warriors who joined them instead of rot in Dust Town or simply lie down and die. When they joined the Legion, a funeral was held for each new member, as they were now considered dead to anyone who knew them. Their sole job to fight and die in the Deep Roads, trying to find honor again against the horde that threatened both surfacer and dwarf alike.

Kardol was their current leader and someone Oghren had known from years ago back in Orzammar, even though he avoided saying exactly how. Alone, he and his men spent their lives in the dark tunnels and abandoned thaigs, spending their deaths in protection of those they left behind back in Orzammar.

"You chose to camp with that flea infested blighter of a stone bastard Ruck?" Kardol asked as they drew close to the room where the others wait.

"He was quite nice to let us camp there, yes. He keeps mostly to himself, and other than to our leader Riel, hasn't spoken much of anything," answered Wynne with her typical patience and reserve. However Kardol was no fool, and he saw the worried way she looked upon the unconscious people draped over the golem.

"The blighter is shifty. Sometimes my men have traded with him, and reported that while seemingly harmless, there was something about him that they didn't like. However, I doubt that he will be your main cause of concern for the next little while."

"How so?" Wynne asked.

"Those two there." Kardol motioned to Zevran and Leliana. "They've been poisoned by nest warriors."

"How can ya tell?" this time Oghren asked.

"The look of their skin. It's why we don't just charge their nests, even if had the men. The queens in each nest have a bunch of warriors that are specially made with stronger venom than the others. Unlike the venom from the other crawlers, theirs is a nasty version that turns the skin of its victims grey, before turning red as the poison progresses."

"Is there a cure?"

"Only rumored…" he sighed, shaking his head. "Once the skin goes red, they are basically dead. The very blood in their veins explode, turning the skin red before they start massively bleeding out of every hole they have."

"Well, that is unpleasant…" Shale stated in disgust.

"The only cure that  _might_  help lies back with the very bastards who nearly killed you."

"What?!" exclaimed Oghren.

"Their eggs," Kardol continued, the sadness on his face evident. "There is an old warrior's tale of how if you mixed the slimy bastard's eggs with some deep mushrooms, it acts as a neutralizer to the venom. Because both venom's can't exist together in the same host, it attacks each other. Ground and dried deep mushrooms act to turn the slime into a paste which has to applied to the wounds.  _Before_  whoever was unlucky enough to be stung turns red. Once the blood goes like that, there is no rescuing them."

"By the sodding Paragon's flaming arsehole!" cursed Oghren violently as he pulled at his beard and hair.

"How long do they have?" Wynne asked far too calmly.

"That's it, I don't know! No one I know has lost the stone sense enough to go after a flaming nest in centuries! Any fool with a skull thicker than a bronto that thought they could go after the treasure rumored to be found in the nests was never heard from again!"

"By the Maker…" Wynne sighed, closing her eyes against the wash of emotions that assailed her. "Thank you Kardol," she finally said after several heartbeats, breaking the silence that hung.

"Yeah, well… Listen, my men and I are going to check the area for signs of Darkspawn. When we're done, I'll call a camp not too far from here. If you-" Kardol stopped, unsure of what to offer.

"Thank you," Wynne said again, her eyes glistening.

Kardol nodded his head once then passed a look to the three of them before turning to his men and continuing their patrol.

"Come, let's get these two inside. Perhaps Morrigan can…"

"Do what, woman? Ya saw what we faced back there! All for a stupid stone that we didn't even manage to get!" cursed Oghren.

"About that…" Shale stated before holding out its large hand. In it was a tiny red stone, the soft light from distant braziers reflecting on its surface.

"Is that a drakestone?" gasped Wynne, getting closer to examine it.

"It matched what the witch described. Red, but not translucent. Lighter than a ruby in color, yet clouded. And while not as hard as diamond, it weighs almost the same."

"Ya sure do know yer gems!" Oghren replied, impressed.

"Call it a hobby," Shale replied, shrugging off the praise. "Now, shall we get these two to the witch so we can decide what is the next course of action? I tire of carrying the squishy elf and human woman."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

_Riel laid motionless on the grass. She knew she was dreaming. She didn't know how exactly, but she knew that this was the Fade - what her people called 'The Beyond'. The place where spirits dwelled and people dreamed. Although, if she was dreaming, why was she so damn tired?_

" _I can help you…" the feminine voice called out to her. Riel didn't bother moving even as the voice drew closer. She was just so tired…. "My poor dear…" the voice purred darkly. "I know what ails you, Riel…"_

_The sound of her name on the lips of the creature caught hold of Riel's attention, pulling her eyes over to the one who spoke. The thing had purple toned skin - smooth and gorgeous as it slightly glowed under the light from above. Bare breasts were decorated in gold chains that led up to the glistening necklaces around its neck. And further up the slender neck was a beautiful face, full of longing and desire. The only thing besides the purple skin that marked the creature as it truly was were the black horns that spun out of its temple and behind its head._

" _I can make it all go away, dear Riel…" it whispered to her, the smile it gave somehow a mixture of something out of both heaven and hell. "The memories… the pain… With my help, you can be with Zevran forever…."_

" _Demon…" Riel hissed, yet still did not move._

" _What does it matter what I am, if I make the taint that slowly poisons you go away forever?" The Desire Demon sat down next to Riel, its hand coming up to push a clump of stray hair away from Riel's face. "No more death. No more Darkspawn. The others can handle it, you know. Besides," it continued to purr as it looked down into Riel's eyes. "Aren't you tired of it all?"_

" _Yes… I'm… so… tired…" Riel cried desperately, tears flooding her face._

" _Shh… Let me help you… All you have to do, is... Let… Me… In…."_


	29. Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Elgar'nan: Elvhen god. Represents fatherhood and vengeance, and leads the pantheon with the goddess Mythal.

"Give me the drakestone," Morrigan snapped as she held out her hand without looking. A shift of movement, a scratching of sound and the small weight was dropped into her outstretched hand.

She was far from pleased at how events had been turning out. Not that things were too terribly far from plan, however these recent setbacks were not something she had expected. Morrigan had known that the Grey Wardens would have a harder time as they travelled the Deep Roads… yet the level of control the Archdemon extended upon Riel was not something she had anticipated. Headaches, trouble sleeping perhaps. Nothing the likes of this, however. Alistair was faring far more to how she had originally guessed. Perhaps it was the strange brew that the Grey Wardens would consume, or perhaps it was due to his unique history and brain functions compared to the elven Warden.

Or perhaps it was just the sheer amount of stupidity and brain damage that he seemed to exhibit on a regular basis.

Morrigan continued to stir the potion carefully, keeping her eyes fixed on the near bubbling concoction. Much of her spells and knowledge of herbs that Morrigan had learned over the years had come from her mother, Flemeth. The famed "Witch of the Wilds" as the common folk tended to call her.

Whether that was true or not, even Morrigan didn't truly know. What she did know was that her mother was powerful, wise, and extremely careful with her knowledge and secrets. Much of which Morrigan still did not even know all of. However she will, soon enough. Once her plans have all fall into place, the famous witch Flemeth will no longer be a figure to be feared or obeyed. Not by her. Not anymore.

Now that her mother's grimoire was finally within her possession.

It was a simple thing to ask, back when Riel had first made plans to enter the Circle Tower. Just to simply look around, and take note of anything that Morrigan might find interesting, nothing more. Perhaps in First Enchanter's quarter's, as that old fool was constantly collecting old magical things that fell into his possession. It wasn't everyday that a non member of the Circle was given complete access to all of the secrets the mages had gathered over the years, after all. However, Morrigan never would have guessed that Riel would find her mother's actual grimoire in amongst the dusty old books and scrolls that Irving had collected and pocketed away.

True, Leliana had been the one to give Morrigan the old tome and not their female Warden, Riel. It was during their first night away from Calenhad, after Riel had caused her little disturbance in the Inn. Leliana had gifted the dusty leather bound book to Morrigan on behalf of Riel. As the woman and her male elf had decided to travel separately after in the incident, Leliana wanted to make sure the young witch received the gift that Riel had found for her. Oh and what wonders the tome contained! Many secrets, as well. Old, powerful secrets that would certainly aid Morrigan against her treacherous and vile mother dearest.

It was an act that Morrigan would not soon be forgetting. Neither to Leliana or Riel. With her mother's tome in her hands, Morrigan had even found within it's old pages the very spell that she was brewing. However, unlike more common spells or potions, this particular one was beyond delicate in preparation, needing a careful eye and hand to keep it from ruining.

As old as the Darkspawn themselves, it required things not easily available even in the best of situations. Thankfully Morrigan prided herself on always traveling well prepared. As such, out of all the rare and strange things that were required for the spell to work, only the damnable drakestone proved to be so elusive.

And now here it was, the soft light of the fire reflecting off its smooth surface.

 _If only the fools collecting it were more careful!_  Morrigan mentally cursed again. What was that old Chantry saying that she had overheard years ago?  _When the Maker smiles, he brings abundance ten fold. When he frowns, he brings disaster a hundred over again._

Although Morrigan doubted any such  _Maker_  existed, it was hard to deny their string of bad luck that had plagued Riel and the others who travelled with them. Between Riel's increased nightmares, lack of sleep and foul mood from whatever pain she experienced, the Darkspawn seemed relentless since they first entered the Deep Roads. And not just them, either. Deepstalkers, wild brontos, and the very voidborn spiders that have now presented the group with it's current crisis.

Not just Leliana, but that sickeningly charming elf Zevran had fallen prey to the spider's venom, and now existed caught between life and death. And their time was quickly running out, as well. The dwarven leader's warning hung in Morrigan's mind, distracting her from her actions. Her eyes would dart over the bedrolls by the fire where the two of them laid. Their skin was still pale, however there was no telling how long either of them had before Kardol's prediction came to pass.

 _Focus!_  Morrigan cursed at herself as she pulled her mind back to the potion she was slowly stirring. Her priority was the Warden, Riel. Not just because she was one of two people in all of Ferelden capable of defeating the Blight. No, somehow in all the weeks and months that Morrigan had travelled with the strangely charming and fierce woman, they had worn down each other's defenses until the impossible had occurred - Morrigan had actually found herself a friend. Someone other than herself and her own interests to care about.

And right now that woman was in dire need of her help. Not just with the potion that would save her sanity in this dark place, but now also in saving her heart. Two pieces of which now lay struggling to fight off a deadly poison that no one had survived in centuries.

 _Damn it all_ … she cursed at herself again, noticing she had misplaced the bowl she would need to pour the mixture into. "By the void! Now where is-?"

"Your bowl, dear," Wynne stated, offering the younger witch the wooden bowl Morrigan was searching for.

"Yes… thank you," Morrigan tried to smile at Wynne, yet she knew that it probably didn't look right. Of all the things that her mother had prepared her for, conversing with others and sociable people skills were not one of them. Morrigan was far more apt at throwing cursed and hexes at people than showing gratitude or appreciation. And the way those who travelled with Riel seemed to constantly talk or mingle, even when enemies were about… It all perplexed Morrigan to no end.

"I have never heard of this spell before. Is it old?" Wynne asked after a small stretch of silence passed.

"Older than most," Morrigan responded in a clipped tone. The next phase of the potion was delicate, and she needed to concentrate to make sure that the whole process would not be ruined and all of their efforts wasted.

"Did your mother teach it to you?"

Morrigan barely kept her flinch back as she almost spilled a portion of the mixture over the bowl as she poured. She did not care for distractions when she normally brewed her concoctions and potions. And with this particular one being not only so delicate, but so very important for her….  _friend…_. her temper was barely being controlled under the older woman's constant interruptions of her concentration.

"Hey! Ol' woman! Does he look like he's getting some color to 'im?"

The dwarf's gruff voice brought both women's eyes up and towards the male elf lying a few feet away. Immediately Wynne stood and rushed over to Zevran, kneeling by his side and carefully examining him. Morrigan frowned and brought her attention back to her work. There was no way to save either Zevran or Leliana without Riel's aid. They also could not leave her unconscious while she and Sten helped Wynne and the dwarf return back to the spider's nest to gather the eggs that they needed.

Their only option of saving the two people that Riel cared most for was to wake her up. And to somehow control her anger long enough to get her to the nest and back again.

"Maker! There is not enough light!" Wynne angrily replied as her eyes shifted between both Leliana and Zevran. "I don't dare bring them closer to fire, however, in case the heat speeds up the venom in their blood."

"Use this, mage."

Wynne looked up and stared in confusion for a moment at the golem's outstretched hand, not understanding its meaning. It wasn't until she saw the small crystal it held that her face brightened up. Taking it carefully in her hands, she smiled up at Shale. "Thank you, that is a wonderful idea."

The crystals that Shale wore in its body were made of a strange compound that glowed brightly when touched by magic. It was what allowed the golem to light up small or enclosed areas while they travelled, saving on torches or light spells. They were also highly prized by the creature, often expressing great joy whenever Riel found a new one in their travels and allowed the creature to have it. Not once since the stone golem had joined the party had it ever given up one of its prized crystals, however.

The significance was not lost on Wynne as she held the small crystal preciously in her hands. As cold and uncaring as the golem seemed to be most of the time, it seemed that it did have a small bit of kindness and caring to it. Perhaps hidden under heavy stone and rock, but there nonetheless it seemed.

Wynne used the magic in her blood to light up the crystal, amazed at how little energy it seemed to require in order to produce a bright and clear light. She then held it close to Zevran's skin and carefully prodded at his skin, measuring his reactions. His skin was not hot, which was strange considering the way venoms usually worked. However his pupils were over dilated, and his lips stuck to his teeth as if her dehydrated. There was also a slight sheen to his skin, as if all the oils and liquid in his body were slowly escaping his pores.

"Oghren! I need you to bring me that pail of water," Wynne stated without looking up as she moved over to Leliana and did a similar examination.

"Here ya go," he grunted as he set down the pail, the water splashing around wildly. "Ahh, sorry 'bout that," he apologized softly as some of the liquid splashed up over the lip of the pail and onto Zevran's face.

"It's alright-... wait! Oh Maker…"

"What?"

Wynne didn't respond, instead she leaned in closer to Zevran's face and examined the wet splotch on his cheek. The area where the water had touched him had changed color, showing no longer the pale greyish color of the first stage of the venom. The skin now looked slightly inflamed, a minor shade of light pink appearing as if he blushed.

"Get that water out of here! And don't get any more on them!" Wynne hissed as she quickly grabbed a portion of her robe and wiped Zevran's face.

"What has happened?" Morrigan demanded, her voice full of concern belying the anger that could be heard.

"Water for some reason is making it worse…" Wynne replied, carefully examining Zevran to make sure no other water got on him. Suddenly her gaze lifted to Morrigan's, dread and anxiety mixing together in her eyes. "How long until Riel's potion is done?"

"It is done now. She just needs to be awake to consume it as I cast the spell."

"Good," Wynne stated as she looked back down towards Zevran, tears gathering in her eyes. "Hold on, Zevran. You cannot leave her yet."

"I will require your aid," Morrigan stated, pulling up Wynne's focus.

The older woman gravely nodded her head, sending a prayer to the Maker to keep both young rogues alive for just a bit longer.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Alistair came awake as a blinding pain lashed through his skull. Groaning in agony, he rolled over to the side and cradled his head. "Maker….. what did you drink last night…." he grumbled to himself. His whole body hurt, as if he had been in some large battle while completely drunk out of his tree. That would certainly explain the pain and the nausea that currently assaulted him. Although he couldn't remember either event in his mind at the moment. Neither the fighting nor the drinking.

 _Wait…_.  _I_ _ **did**_   _drink something, didn't I? And the fighting…._

"Oh Maker… Riel…." Alistair cursed as he tried to sit up. "Whoops, bad idea…" he groaned as the world suddenly spun wildly before him. With a grunt, Alistair fell back to the bed behind him and covered his eyes with his hand. "What on the Maker's green earth did they do to me…"

It was several minutes before Alistair attempted to sit up again. In slow movements he carefully raised his upper body up, bracing his arms beside him. The world started to spin again, but Alistair forced himself to focus. He needed to get up. To see how long he was out. To see if he could still catch up with the others. If only just so he could kill that blasted elf.

No, not Riel. The blonde haired assassin that somehow managed to lock his arms around Alistair's neck from behind, holding him in a headlock despite how many times Alistair slammed him against the wall. Damn elf was tougher than he looked. That just meant that Alistair was going to enjoy killing him more, though.

Although the fight was truly over when that giant Qunari bastard Sten grabbed hold of Alistair's jaw and wrenched it open. It was then that the bitch queen herself forced that foul liquid down his throat despite how much he tried to thrash against Shale's hold on his arms.

Alistair hadn't been so thoroughly beaten and forced to drink something since his days among the Templars. And  _those_  times it had simply been ale or mead being forced into his gullet.  _And_  he had already been drunk at the time. In fact, Alistair was pretty sure that even the vile concoction that people had to drink to become Grey Warden's tasted better than whatever it was that Morrigan fed to him.

_Damn them all!_

It took Alistair several more tries to manage to stand up fully, and when he was finally able to plant his feet and stand, a painful and loud crack could be heard from his back. "OW!" he yelled, his hand darting to the position of his back. Good news his back didn't hurt so much anymore. Bad news, he may be crippled…. With painful limps, Alistair walked over to the door of the room he was in. Taking a quick look out, it could have been any time of day for all he knew. Tapsters was always busy with dwarven patrons, drinking away whatever vile piss that passed for ale in the place.

Alistair shut the door again and looked about. There was no way to tell where they had gone. Riel no doubt took whatever maps that Bhelen gave to them with her. And who knows how long he had been flat out on his back, Maker only knew if she was even alive….

 _No! I can't think like that!_  he cursed to himself. He couldn't allow himself to think of all the ways the lovely Riel might suffer down in the dark of the Deep Roads. His own nightmares that he had suffered during his long sleep were enough to make his skin crawl. Whatever drink that Morrigan gave to him prevented him from waking up when his nightmares came, forcing his mind to endure the torture of them longer than he should have.

Maker only knew how Riel was faring down there, surrounded by countless Darkspawn and the very Archdemon himself. Even this close in Orzammar, Alistair had problems blocking out the whisperings and dreams. And he had the luxury of taking the brew that was known only to Grey Wardens to help silence the foul murmurs they heard.

Riel had refused….

"Maker, I  **have**  to find her!"

Alistair looked around the room, his eyes moving over their groups travelling bags and various possessions. The room he was in was shared between Sten and himself, while the women had their own room down the hall. However, Riel was granted her own room as usual. One that she foolishly decided to share with that bastard elf!

Gritting his teeth, Alistair opened the door and ducked out of the room. With long strides, he quickly approached the door that Riel had used before she had left. However, he paused before opening it. Was he really going to go through with it? Was he going to go through her things, on the small hope that she have left something behind that could help him find her?

A light blush came to Alistair's face as he thought of the things women usually kept in their personal bags. Feminine, dainty things like ribbons and brushes for their hair. Small satchels of nice smelling herbs to help them smell pretty. And the  _small clothes…_

Alistair almost lost his nerve right there. He knew that they would be travelling as light as they could in the Deep Roads, so no doubt much of the extra things would be left behind. Things that only she had seen or touched….

 _Except for Zevran_  his mind cruelly reminded him. Cursing, Alistair opened up the door to Riel's room and stepped inside. It infuriated him how his Riel was being used by that assassin. How he knew Riel in ways that Alistair didn't. Thank the Maker that he hadn't had endure the sounds of their….  _doing things_ …

In the few days since they reunited at the gates of Orzammar, the closet the two of them appeared was just holding and hugging. Which was enough as it was to make Alistair's blood boil. However even he wasn't naive enough to not see how something had changed between his Riel and that bastard. Since meeting up with them, Riel walked differently. She carried herself differently. And a new sexual appreciation and territorial light appeared in that assassin's eyes whenever he looked at Riel.

And that knowledge seared Alistair right down to the bone. He  _ **needed**_  to get her away from him. Before whatever that assassin was planning hurt her too deeply. She had already been through far too much, and Alistair wasn't about to let some elven assassin come in and destroy her even further than she was. Riel needed healing, not to be played and toyed with by a murderous bastard who would gladly give her up to Loghain once she was no longer useful to him.

Alistair quickly scanned the small room. There was a singular bed up against the wall, made from carved stone and covered with furs and pillows to make it comfortable. There were no windows, however a glowing fireplace filled with glow stones lighted the room well enough to see. And beside it were several large bags that no doubt belonged to his Riel and that bastard.

Cursing, Alistair went over to the bags and tried to determine which one was which. However, they both looked the same. Both Riel and the assassin were rogues, and carried similar kits and common items in their bags. Alistair grabbed at the one closest to him and started going through it. He  _needed_  to find her. He needed to protect her. Even if she hated him, that didn't change the way that he felt for  _her_.

"What's this?" he asked to himself quietly as he pulled out a letter made out thick parchment. It was at the very bottom of the bag, yet it didn't look like any type of paper that Alistair recognized. Definitely not something he had seen the dwarves use. Alistair sat back and looked the letter over, noticing the seal in the dim light of the fireplace. "By the Maker…." he cursed. There in the center, dipped in hot wax was the seal of the Antivan Crows. It wasn't something that he had seen often, however Duncan was widely known and would sometimes get letters with this seal on them. Usually updates from his contacts within the Crows.

With shaking hands, Alistair opened up the letter and began to read. And with each word, his anger rose to phenomenal levels.  _That bastard! I_ _ **KNEW**_   _it!_  Alistair cursed to himself. There in his hands was every suspicion he had about the elf made real. Every fear he had over Riel being so close to that cold hearted assassin was confirmed in that one letter. And by the Maker, he would prevent Riel from falling for his trap! Perhaps he wouldn't have to kill the elf after all.

Once Riel reads this letter,  **she**  would do it herself!

By the Maker, his luck was finally turning around!

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Carefully Morrigan poured the first liquid down Riel's open mouth. Curiously, she found herself uttering a prayer to a being that she didn't believe in, if only in the smallest of hopes that it would actually work and ease her friend's awakening. The brew that she had made for Zevran to put Riel to sleep was one that was well familiar with, however this was the first time that she had intentionally tried to make it more pleasant than it actually was.

Mostly Flemeth had used the drink on lost travellers who by ill-luck stumbled across her hut but who were otherwise harmless. After whatever traveller had succumbed to the drink, Flemeth would deposit them at the edge of the wilds where they would either rise in time to defend themselves if need be. Or they would die to elements and animals. Either way, their trail would not lead those looking for the travellers to Flemeth's door. Which was all the old woman rightly cared for.

Morrigan had tried to make the brew pleasant and decrease the after effects for her friend, but it was the first time that she had ever had the desire to do. As such, the measurement of the right herbs was more of guess than she was comfortable with. Which unfortunately now left Morrigan wondering as how Riel would fare once she had properly awaken. Headaches and body aches were common. However, there was no real way of knowing how it would effect someone with the taint in them as Riel had. Something that Morrigan wasn't all too concerned with when it was Alistair being the one to consume the potion. With Riel, however…. It left a curious pain in Morrigan's chest thinking about it.

Riel came awake with a blood curdling scream. Trashing around blindly, in her mind she was still fighting off the Darkspawn and ghouls that tried to swallow her. Slowly the strangely accented voice of the female witch broke through her tremors and fear. Opening her eyes, Riel looked around frantically. She was in her tent. The familiar belongings acting as an anchor to hold on to as her mind grasped for something real.

"You are awake, Riel!" Morrigan called out, her arms holding Riel down by her shoulders.

"I think she hears you, Morrigan. You don't need to hold her down anymore," another feminine voice stated softly. Older, wiser than Morrigan's. Riel's eyes shot to the side and spied the elderly mage Wynne sitting next to Morrigan, holding something in her hands.

"I do not wish to be hit again! I will release her when her senses have returned and no sooner!" she bit back angrily, her yellow eyes flashing.

"W-whe-where's Zev-" Riel tried to ask around the cotton feeling of her tongue. Speaking however just increased the pain in her skull, and her eyes snapped shut as a wave of nausea came over her.

"You need to focus on yourself right now, dear," Wynne replied in her motherly manner. All warm and full of concern and caring. Riel barely heard her however through the pounding in her head.

 _Creators! What is happening to me?_  she thought to herself. Yet she couldn't let go of the feeling that she needed Zevran. That if she could just get to him, everything would be fine again. To hear his voice, and feel his arms around her… The world that spun and the pain that lanced through her body would go away if she could just get to him.

"Zevran?" Riel asked again, daring to open her eyes once more. However the look of fear and worry that stretched across both women's faces made Riel's heart lurch in her chest. Their concern wasn't for  _her_. Something had happened. Something  _bad_. "Where's Zevran?"

"He is…  _indisposed_ ," Morrigan answered, her eyes avoiding Riel's. "However, you must drink this now. It will help."

Riel looked at the cup that Morrigan now held in her hands. It was the same one that Wynne was holding a moment ago.  _Was it actually blue?_  she thought, looking inside. In truth, it didn't look like a liquid at all. More like an extremely thick potion. What were they giving her?

"What is it?" Riel replied suspiciously, eyeing the strange liquid in the cup.

"It will ease you. Now drink."

Riel looked up and pegged Morrigan with a glare. Then with a quick look over to Wynne, she knew.  _They are hiding something from me._  With the way Wynne's eyes refused to meet her own, and the hard yet concerned look Morrigan gave her. They were testing her reaction. And not just because she woke up in a very nasty way.

"The drink that Zevran gave to me.  _You_  gave it to him, didn't you?" Riel hissed out. Seeing the look of shame on both women's faces confirmed her suspicions. "By the void! You  **did**  too, didn't you? You  _ **drugged**_  me!" Riel hurriedly sat up and moved away from the two women.

"It was only to help you sleep…" Wynne pleaded, yet Riel found no comfort in her words.

"Zevran  _knew_ , didn't he? You all  _knew_?!"

Riel's mind spun wildly. She  _hated_  being drugged. It was what they used to do to her when she fought back too much. When they wanted her more  _compliant_  for the people who paid the bastards who kept her. It made her defenceless, powerless, and at the mercy of all those she hated and who would hurt her.

_And Zevran knew!_

"Where is Zevran?!" Riel demanded, her eyes blazing fire in her anger.

"We will discuss that later. First, you must drink, Riel," Morrigan stated again, lifting up the cup for Riel to take.

"Void take you!" she spat out, tempted to toss whatever it was back in the witch's face. Yet Creator's only knew what was in it. With her luck, it would explode if she knocked it down to the ground.

"Riel please…. It was the only way…" Wynne tried again, yet Riel wouldn't hear any of it.

" _They only way_? Do you know what I went through? The nightmares that I couldn't wake up from? The things I  _ **endured**_  without being able to escape? What I saw, and felt and  _had to do_  because I couldn't wake up?!"

The images of her nightmares assaulted Riel's mind once more. The deep seductive voice that spoke to her, commanding her to do vile things that she couldn't help but obey. The things that were done to her by the same voice that commanded the creatures in her nightmares. And beyond that all, the voices of the demons that spoke to her, whispering everything she ever wanted to her.

"You didn't say she would have her nightmares, Morrigan!" Wynne gasped, her eyes hitting the younger mage with an accusatory look.

Morrigan sighed heavily, her eyes closing and her shoulders drooping. "I did not know. 'Tis true that the potion kept her asleep, however I have never used it on someone in Riel's  _condition_  before. Besides Alistair, that is, of course."

"So you  _ **did**_  drug me!" Riel cursed, wishing she wasn't naked and unable to reach her daggers.  _How could I have trusted these people? Anyone of them? Creators, what a fool I have been!_

"Only so we could go get the-"

"Riel, whatever you think of us," Morrigan began, cutting of Wynne's confession. "Whatever you may think of myself, or Wynne or any of the others, know that Zevran did everything he did to help you. And now, he needs your help in return."

That caught Riel's attention. As furious as she was, for some reason she just couldn't seem to turn off that part of her heart that still cared for the other elf. No matter how much she wanted to. "What happened?" she asked, her voice waivering.

"Before I tell you that, know that you cannot help him unless you drink this." Morrigan again offered the cup with the strange liquid inside of it. "And if you do not do so quickly, I guarantee you that you shall regret it for the rest of your life."

Riel looked hard at the woman she had so easily called her friend. Morrigan hadn't ever lied to her. Even when she could have in the past, the witch had always chosen to be honest. Even if her answers were cruel, or sharp, or angry. She always told her the truth.  _But what of now?_  Was this another trick? What if it wasn't?

With tears pricking at her eyes and hatred in her glare, Riel grabbed the offered cup without even looking at it. Then with a silent prayer to the Creators, she lifted it to her lips and took a long swallow. The thick liquid caused her to cough as it slid down her throat, feeling as if it were boiling her skin from the inside out.

It tasted like hot metal in her mouth, reminding Riel of the one and only time she had tasted lyrium years ago while amongst her clan. The Keeper had tried to show her how to brew the potion, and Riel had tasted the concoction out of curiosity. It had the same type of metallic taste that this did. Yet, there was something different about it too. Something heavier and more of an earthy taste than the lyrium was.

Morrigan murmured the spell's incantation over Riel twice, making sure that it worked. Blue light emitted from her hand and went into Riel, mixing with the liquid she had consumed. All the while Riel glared heatedly at both her and Wynne, her eyes showing clearly the pain of betrayal and immense anger.

"All of it, Riel. It must all be consumed, and I must do the spell once more," Morrigan uttered quietly, shame in her voice. Even her eyes looked filled with regret as Riel looked upon her. Yet Riel couldn't find it within herself to trust the expressions she saw. What fragile trust the two women had built together was broken and laid now in shards the moment the witch had agreed to drug her.

With Riel's eyes glaring menacingly at Morrigan, she lifted the cup to her lips once more and forced herself to drink the rest of the concoction.  _By the Creators! Why am I trusting these people?_  she cursed to herself, even as she felt the liquid flow over her tongue and down her throat. WIth a final gulp, Riel emptied the cup and all but threw it back at the witch.

"How long before the poison you gave me kills me?" she spat bitterly, unable to resist the jab. And it produced the look she wanted, even if she was surprised to see it. Hurt. Shame. Regret.

"'Tis not poison. Although, I doubt you will believe me," Morrigan sighed, doing her best to hide the hurt in her voice and eyes. And failing for the most part.

"You're right. I don't believe you," Riel snapped. "Now, where is Zevran? And what happened during the time I was drugged and unable to fight against the evil things that happened to me in my nightmares?"

Both women remained silent for a moment, their expressions shifting quickly, yet seeming to match the other's despite not looking at each other. In tandem, expressions of shock, regret, sadness, and then fear showed on their faces. And not fear of her. Fear of something else. Something  _had_  happened while she was unconscious. Something to Zevran. And they didn't want to tell her.

"By the Void! Tell me what happened!" Riel snapped, unable to take the silence anymore.

"I think it's better if we just show her," Wynne stated softly, getting a slight nod from Morrigan. "We will meet you by the fire. Get dressed quickly, and wear your armor. You're probably going to want to leave soon after you see them…" Wynne added before turning to leave the tent.

"W-wait!  _Them_?!" Riel sputtered, unsure if she heard the woman correctly.  _There were two people that something happened to? By the Creators!_

"Just dress quickly, Riel. Too much time has already been wasted…." Wynne replied, her whole countenance drawn in sadness. Riel looked over to Morrigan, hoping to get an answer from her, yet the younger mage only mimicked Wynne's expression, shaking her head briskly before both of them left her tent, leaving her alone.

"What is going on?" Riel cursed to herself, rubbing her face. A low growl erupted from her throat, born out of frustration, fear, and anger. Quickly Riel dressed and pulled on her leathers. The last thing she settled into place were her matching daggers. A gift from Zevran before they had left Orzammar for the Deep Roads. He had told her that he wouldn't be satisfied with the ' _old and cheap knives that were too overused'_  as he had put it. He instead offered her the two blades she had now.

Two beautifully made daggers, their hilts bearing gold and small glittering gems. Yet for how obviously gorgeous they were, what Riel prized more was how well they were used in combat. How easily she had sliced through bone and flesh. Cutting through the crude armor that the Darkspawn wore and through the tough hides and skins of the other foul creatures that lurked in these dark passages. Well balanced. Well made. They were a true gift, picked just as much for their usefulness as their appearance.

 _What happened to Zevran?_  the thought erased the small smile that had appeared on Riel's lips from the earlier memory. Despite his betrayal, Riel couldn't force her heart to stop caring about him. At that moment, she wanted to hate him. To let whatever problems plagued him do whatever it wished. Kill him, maim him, leave him rotting down here with all the other corpses.

That what she  _wanted_  to want. Her heart, it seemed, was just as much a traitor as he was, though.

Stepping out of her tent, Riel looked around the small room, taking note of who was up walking around and their positions. Sten and Shale were speaking quietly over by the entrance. Oghren was looking at maps over by the where she had left them earlier. Fen'harel was lying by the fire. And beside the fire were Morrigan and Wynne, kneeling over….

"Zevran!" Riel cried out as she ran towards him.

All anger she had felt for him left as he looked down at his still form. Lying there, unconscious, he looked as if death had already come for him. His skin was a sickly pale grey color. Only a small patch on his cheek seemed to hold any color anymore. His brow was tense, and he looked as if he was in pain even though he was clearly unconscious.

Riel carefully laid her hands on Zevran's cheeks, tears coming spilling forth from her eyes. There was smudges of blood on his face and neck, and he looked as if he was sweating despite how cold he felt. Riel then looked to her side and her heart broke all over again when she saw who was lying next to him.

"Leliana… no…." she cried, carefully touching the woman's face. She was the exact same as Zevran.

Each Lost in some form of dreamstate, the pain they were in obvious on their faces and tense muscles. Examining Leliana, Riel gasped when she saw the wound on her upper chest. Red and angry skin oozed green and black around a hole that looked more like she was run through with a lance rather than a sword. Looking back to Zevran, Riel quickly scanned over his body looking for injuries. She then spotted his torn leggings, the wound just above the knee. Carefully peeling back the fabric, his wound was much the same as Leliana's had been. Infected, oozing, and no doubt extremely painful.

"Why haven't you healed them?!" Riel demanded angrily to Wynne, her eyes clouded with unshed tears.

"I have done all that I can, Riel. What has been done to them is beyond my healing," Wynne replied regretfully.

"You!" Riel shouted at Morrigan next. "Can't you make a potion or a poultice or  _something_  to help them?!"

"The only thing that can aid them lies back where this first happened," Morrigan replied in her usual far too calm tone. "They were injured by nest spiders. The venom that is coursing through their veins can only be cured by retrieving the eggs of the ones who did this."

Riel looked back down to Leliana, placing her hand on her cold cheeks. By the Creators, she felt dead already. Then she turned her attention to Zevran's still form. Bending down, she placed both her hands on either side of his face. She then closed her eyes and placed a light kiss against his lips.

"I swear to Elgar'nan Zevran… If you die from this, I will hunt you down in the Beyond itself to drag you back," Riel hissed against his lips. "No one is going to kill you but  **me**." Riel then sat up and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hands before pinning both Morrigan and Wynne with a deathly glare. "Now. What's the plan?"


	30. Worth Fighting For

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> None this chapter.

 

There was over a hundred ways that this plan could be labeled 'insane'. And a thousand more in which it could go terribly wrong. Yet there was not one single alternative that Riel could live with. Either she risk her life and the lives of those with her for the eggs of these vile things, or not only her best friend but the man she loved would die. Even if she hated both of them with a passion right now.

Morrigan and Wynne had each explained why they had gone looking for the drakestone. They glossed over many details and Morrigan still hadn't explained where she learned the spell from, but Riel understood enough of it where she wasn't  _quite_  as pissed as she was. She still felt betrayed and used, and was still more than angry at the others, but there was a small nagging part of her that understood what they did. Even if she didn't want to acknowledge that part of her right now.

Right now, the only thing that mattered was getting those eggs. Then she could worry about skinning Zevran alive. Out of all their betrayals, his had hurt her the worst. None of the others really knew what she had went through before she was adopted by her Dalish clan. They didn't know what those bastards had done to her for most of her life. Zevran  _ **did**_. He knew  _why_  she feared others and being at the mercy of someone else. And yet instead of trying to talk with her, he drugged her. He took away the only thing she had, and the one thing he said would never do.

He took away her choice. Her freedom. And he took away her trust.

And so she may still love him. And she was going to save him. But right now, she hated him. And Riel didn't know if she could ever get over what he did to her. Good intentions or not.

"Once the rock is in place, it should be secure enough until we get back," Wynne stated as she exited the abandoned building where they had put both Zevran and Leliana.

The building was barely larger than a hut, probably belonging to a lower class or even casteless dwarf centuries ago when the thaig was still used. But the roof and walls were solid. And there were no holes in the ground indicating things had dug tunnels underneath it. It was as secure as they could make it. All except for the door.

"If we are to catch up with Kardol and his men, then we should go. Now," Sten punctuated the last word with his usual impatient disdain. Yet he said no more even as Riel took a moment longer to look at both Zevran and Leliana.

Lying side by side, they representing two thirds of the people of whom had meant the most to her. Two thirds of her heart that now danced closed dangerously close to death. And she was about to take the last third with her into an almost certain death trap in order to save them.

Despite her coldness and the distance that she liked to keep people at, Morrigan had become just as important to Riel as Leliana had. The two women representing two halves of her own self. Each living freely in ways that Riel wished she could herself.

Leliana with her endless joy and optimism. The way she always found happiness and goodness in things. Even in battle, she was quick to throw a taunt to whatever enemy they fought, bringing a small smile to Riel's face for how silly or absurd it was. She was the light in Riel's life before Zevran had shown her what real love was. And in a strange way, Riel loved the bard almost as deeply as she loved Zevran. It wasn't the lustful, endless need she had with Zevran. No, with Leliana her love was like all things involving the woman. Light, and fun, and full of joy.

Morrigan on the hand was the opposite in almost every way. Cold, hard, and calculating. Yet she wasn't without emotion or caring despite what others thought. She just measured herself wisely when it came to those around her. Distance for Morrigan seemed as much as a survival tactic for her as it was for Riel. After all, if people were not close to you, they couldn't hurt you. Riel had wondered what had happened in the young witch's life to give her such a fear of being hurt. However, just as Morrigan respected Riel's wish to keep her past to herself, Riel respected Morrigan's own privacy. Still though, their combined jaggedness and cynicism bonded them. They saw the darker parts of the world that others either couldn't or refused to see. And yet, Morrigan always found a way to laugh. To enjoy life. Whether it was poking fun at Alistair, or flaying an enemy alive, Morrigan took enjoyment out of life in the same way that she viewed it. As a dark, beautiful creature that was just as dangerous as it was lovely.

And Riel loved the woman for that. She was the flip side to Leliana. The other half to Riel herself. And with the two women at her side, Riel finally felt a connection to someone beyond just simple hatred or distrust. In fact, it was probably because of the budding relationships that she had developed with the two women that made Riel even open to something deeper with Zevran. The waters tested with safer friendships before allowing for the deeper plunge of real love.

However, all of that was now gone. Lost in the bitterness of anger, betrayal, and fear. The three people she had trusted most with the inside parts of her soul, had all used her trust and love against her. They took away the only real true thing Riel had ever given herself. Her freedom.

Taking one last longing look at the two pieces of her broken heart, Riel steeled herself and shut out her inner emotions. She could not afford to go soft now. She had no time to wallow in her sorrows. Right now, she had bloody spiders to kill.

Riel nodded to Shale as she stepped out of the building. "You can place the rock now, Shale," she coldly stated to the golem. The ground slightly vibrated as Shale rolled the immense stone boulder over towards the door frame. It wasn't a perfect block, but it would keep most things out that wished to do her loved ones harm.

"Kardol said he would meet us in the same area that we first ran into him and his men," Oghren explained as he stepped near the Warden.

Riel nodded, forcing her eyes to look away from the boulder and those that lay beyond it. "Good. Did he say how many men he could lend us?" Riel asked.

"He said he would give us two whole patrols, which should be pretty good. From what I remember, each Legion patrol consists of ten men. And these aren't some wet eared newborn nugs, either. Seasoned warriors who have fought the nasty shit down here for years."

"Good. I'm actually surprised he agreed to help us at all," Riel sighed as she doubled checked her side pack. They were going into battle and the last thing she needed was to have forgotten her potions or poultices back at the camp.

"From what he told me, old Kardol knew your Duncan." Riel glanced over at the dwarf at the name of the human Warden. "As he tells it, Duncan was down in Orzammar looking for recruits not too long before things went sour at Ostagar. The Warden ended up saving Kardol and a bunch of his men form a whole swath of ogres that was being backed by bunch of shrieks."

Riel shivered at the mention of the grotesque corrupt creatures known as shrieks. Unlike the humanoid hurlocks or the shorter gemlocks, shrieks were something else entirely. Along each of their hands they had one long razor sharp claw on each arm that could slice through armor like butter. As well, they had a strange type of shell that encased their bodies, preventing arrows from penetrating. Their mouths were even similar to that of spiders, with large mandibles that snapped with a force that could break bones. The worst part of all however, was that they had a natural ability to cloak themselves in darkness, seeming to appear out of nowhere whenever they attacked. Shrieks were masters at stealth and often the first sign you were under attack was when one of their long blades slashed out from the darkness aiming for neck or stomach.

What gave them their name though was the ear piercing shriek that would echo out as they tormented and terrified their prey. Calling from different shadows at sporadic intervals, you never knew how many there were or exactly where they would attack from. They were one of the Archdemon's favorite, being excellent spies as well as assassins.

Or in the case of Riel's nightmares, what she would birth if she were to ever be unfortunate enough to ever be captured by the vile abominations that were Darkspawn.

That was the secret the Archdemon had shown to her. One of many horrors she had to endure during her imprisonment in her own mind. It turns out the Darkspawn didn't just take survivors to feed from. No, they actually used the poor souls they dragged underground to  _breed_.

The females of the different races were used as breeding stock. Forced to consume Darkspawn flesh and bile until their bodies were transformed into the grotesque horror that were the Broodmothers. Bloated and tentacled creatures that birthed the Darkspawn horde. Human women were used to create the Hurlocks. Dwarven women birthed the stockier gemlocks. And the rare chance that the Darkspawn managed to capture a female of Sten's people, those produced the monstrous ogres.

Riel's kind though - elven women who were captured and transformed by their evil - they birthed the shrieks. The screaming assassins that clawed out from shadows and could pluck a grown man off his feet and away before he could even defend himself.

And the men who were captured….. Food for both Darkspawn and unfortunate female alike. Women forced to feed from their husbands, fathers, brothers… even children.

The image of Riel eating and consuming familiar flesh as her body gorged and grew larger still remained just a blink away. A moment too long spent with her eyes closed. A distracted few seconds when her mind was allowed to wander away from her current task.

_**You are one of us!** _

The deep and seductive voice still echoed in Riel's mind, no matter how many times she tried to shake it free.

"Warden!"

Riel came back to herself in shock. Around her, everyone was staring at her as if she was about to start spawning the tentacles that she so feared. As if every nightmare of hers was made real and they were horrified to see the monster that she was becoming.

"Riel, are you okay?"

Riel looked over to Wynne and choked back her tears. Hearing the motherly tone come to her when she felt so wretched and dirty was almost a slap in the face, pulling her the rest of the way out of the horrors of her mind. Riel cleared her throat and tried to manage a smile to the older woman.

"I'm far from okay, Wynne. But I don't need to be. I just need to kill some sodding spiders and get back here before they-" Riel's throat seized before she could say the worst.

"You heard the Warden! Let's get killin'!" Oghren chuckled, hefting his hammer over his shoulder.

"Come on then. We're wasting time we don't have," Riel stated flatly before following Oghren's lead.

Morrigan walked over to Wynne, mimicking the older woman's worried gaze. "I am worried, Morrigan," Wynne said softly.

"So am I. However, we shall attain the eggs required and heal the assassin and bard."

"That's not who I am worried about most, however."

Morrigan sighed. "I know. Yet 'tis all that we can do at this moment. That, and keep her alive."

"Maker help us…" Wynne breathed to herself before both women caught up with the others.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"That's the tunnel down there," Kardol pointed towards the opening in the rock face where Oghren and the others had escaped from earlier. "Now I warn you, Warden. The nest is going to be on alert. Last time these nuglickers went in, they had the opportunity of surprised. The crawlers weren't expecting to actually have their prey walk willingly into their domain. Now though, they're going to be prepared."

"How many spiders do you think are in the nest?" Riel asked the leader of the Legion, her arms folded over her chest as her mind worked over all their options. So far, it didn't look good no matter what they did.

"Hard to tell. As I told Oghren, no one's been stupid enough to attempt a raid on a nest in years, and no one has certainly survived to tell the tale in at least a few centuries. However, from what I remember from back when I lived in Orzammar, the Memories spoke of how after the Darkspawn came, their corruption twisted the spiders that lived down here. They grew monstrous, and became nearly as much of a danger as the Darkspawn themselves. They chased off whole thaigs, then took them over. It is rumored though that each nest is controlled by a single queen. The queen is guarded by several nest warriors - the ones that laid up your companions. Those are the real ones to watch out for. Get bit or stung by one of them, and you're going to be no better than your friends."

"There were at least a couple dozen of those squishy eight legged things when we were here last."

"You got a good look at the nest, Shale. Did you notice anything that might help us?"

"There was a large vein of lyrium in the back of the room. Larger than most of the ones I have seen around here, as a matter of fact."

"Lyrium can be pretty explosive," Kardol interjected. "Especially the larger veins. The more exposed, the larger you make the explosion."

"How do ya make it explode, though? Don't ya need to be pretty close to the sodding thing to light a fuse for it?"

"Would a fireball work?" Morrigan asked this time.

"No, or else it would have exploded when we were here last. Between Shale and myself, the entire room was on fire. Yet it didn't trigger an explosion."

"You're lucky it didn't, Wynne," Riel snapped. "Besides, we can't run the risk of turning the whole room into a one giant flame. We need the eggs first. Without those, the others-"

"Why can't we just send ole' rock face in to grab 'em eggs?"

"Because, you belching blowhard, they may not be able to injure me due to my superior rock surface, enough of them would still be able to prevent me from moving, trapping me in their webs. It would be as if I was back in Honnleath. Only with more legs," Shale shuddered. How a golem could shudder, Riel didn't know. But it was obvious that Shale had no intention of allowing itself to be trapped again. Not that she blamed the golem. They were just running out of options. And time.

"My men can launch a volley of fire arrows into their nest, drawing them out. If we can manage to lure them out into the open here, they would be easier to pick off. However, crawlers are not like Darkspawn. Those bastards are smarter than you would think. After two or three times of luring them out, they will get wise and refuse to leave the nest. Then you'll have to fight on  _their_  terms."

"Kardol's plan is the most intelligent thing I have heard. However, it leaves a mighty flaw," Morrigan replied snidely.

"And what is that, witch?" Kardol bit back, meeting her tone head on.

"I was told that the spiders retreated when they were first lured out here. If your plan is to work, there must be something to keep them from simply retreating the moment they enter the area."

"She is right. When we were escaping the spiders before, something made them go back into the tunnels instead of fight you and your men."

Riel thought for a moment as she considered what Wynne and Morrigan said. "Kardol, what do you coat your arrows in to make them flammable?" she asked suddenly.

"Uh, just a normal oil that we sprinkle with lyrium dust. Once caught on fire, they burn bright and hot for a few minutes before dying out. But that's all our archers need to launch one into the eye socket of one of those sodding Darkspawn," he replied with a small measure of pride.

"Do you have the oil with you?"

"Yeah, we keep extra to coat more arrows when we need them."

"Shale, do you think that as long as you didn't move or glow, that the spiders would ignore you?" Riel asked, turning then to the golem.

"As long as I don't threaten their nest or their squishy little bodies, I don't think they would even known what I was."

"Good," Riel nodded before turning to the mages. "Both of you know fire spells, right?"

"Yes," they both said in unison.

"Oghren, you said you know how to berserk. Think you can access that on command?"

"Warden, just say the word and you will have yourself a berserking dwarf ready and willing to smash as many of those crawling bastards as I can!" Oghren laughed.

Riel nodded, then was silent for moment as she worked through several more things mentally to herself. "Sten, Oghren," she finally said, address the two warriors. "I want you on either side of the entrance. When I give you the signal, you are to take out as many as you can. If you get overwhelmed, however or get stung, you are to fall back to Kardol's group. Understood?" Riel could see that Sten wanted to argue, but thankfully neither of them raised any objections.

"Yes, Warden."

"You can count on ole' Oghren, Warden!"

"Kardol, I want your archers standing back, ready to fire on my command."

" _Your_  command?" Kardol bristled, obviously not used to giving control of his men over to others.

"I don't have time for a pissing contest, dwarf," Riel snapped before raising her hand to rub the bridge of her nose. With a sigh, she continued. "Yes, I am plenty appreciative of you lending me your aid, however if this has any chance of working, I need to sync up these attacks perfectly. If your men have trouble taking orders from a female elf, remind them that first and foremost I am a Grey Warden. All else is sodding dust, if I may borrow one of your terms."

"You have the balls of a Paragon, Warden," Kardol laughed. "And what of the rest of my men?"

"Have them in attack formation standing about twenty feet from the entrance. However they are  **not**  to charge until I signal, understood?"

"I think Duncan made a good choice in choosing you to become a Warden. My men will be ready," Kardol replied before turning to relay the orders to those in his command.

"Wait, Kardol!"

"Yes Warden?" he asked, turning,

"I need as much of that oil as you can spare," Riel stated coldly.

"You'll have it." Kardol then approached his waiting men. "The  _ **Warden's**_  order are in you nuglickers! Now get your arses over here and listen up!"

"And what of me? Am I just to stand there and look pretty?"

"Shale, you have no idea just how right you are," Riel smiled grimly.

_Mythal, please let this work. And please, do not let me be too late…._

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"Oh how I detest that Warden…" Shale grumbled as it walked down the long tunnel leading to the spider's nest. So maybe it wasn't the  _worst_  plan that Shale had ever heard. It was better than the plan that the male elf had come up with. However, it was still damn near close to the bottom of the list.

About halfway down, Shale gripped the torch in its hands and sighed briefly before bringing forth a quick burst of its power and lighting the torch. The response was immediate. A swarm of spiders began to suddenly move forward, the clicking of their claws along the stone being drowned out only by the their angry shrieks as they raced towards Shale.

"Here goes…" Shale muttered before tossing the torch back down the tunnel where it had come from before going completely still. Turning off all of its internal power, Shale forced itself to be nothing more than the very rock that comprised it. Blending into the rock walls and floor of the tunnel itself.

And it worked. The spiders all but ignored Shale as they raced past it and out towards the entrance of the tunnel. Their instincts to protect their nest from any intruders, they flocked to the foreign scent of invaders that existed just beyond the tunnel entrance. Once the majority of them had passed Shale by, it slowly turned and made its way back to the entrance, keeping itself barely lit as to stay hidden from the spider's attention.

Once it was at the spot marked out, Shale counted to three before lighting up its body and blasting out a sheet of fire, igniting the slick oil that coated the walls, floor and ceiling of the tunnel.

From outside, Riel's shrill cry could be heard, signalling the first volley of arrows. As the spiders escaped the fire behind them, they were pushed out of the tunnel and up on to the walls outside. Which gave a perfect shot for Kardol's archers.

"Mages!" Riel screamed out, timing the unleash of massive fire spells that spread along the walls outside of the entrance to the tunnel. The flames raced up the walls, following the web trails of the spiders, burning them with its hungry fire.

Spiders of all sizes fell from the walls, screeching and screaming out in agony and anger. "Sten! Oghren!" Riel screamed out, calling out the two warriors from their hiding spots.

Sten with his massive sword and Oghren with his hammer smashed and sliced at the spiders before they had a chance to right themselves and crawl away. However many spiders that escaped the first two attacks came down the wall and approached the group, their mandibles clicking in anticipation.

"Kardol! Now!" Riel called out as she drew her blades, ready to slice the first spider that dared to approach her.

Kardol's men came running up, joining Riel as they swung and smashed at the crawlers. Riel's blade's did not remain hungry either. The first spider she sliced straight through it's head, cutting it from eight eyes down to just four. Another lost two legs before Riel had to duck and roll away to avoid it's snapping maw. Another slice and another, taking legs and mandibles away from their owners.

As with all battles, it was both over far too soon, and in what felt like an eternity. Slicing through a screaming maw that snapped at her chest, Riel silenced the last spider. Breathing heavily, she looked around quickly, finding her allies and mentally noting injuries.

Wynne was standing over Sten who was doing his best to shoo the woman away. Morrigan was helping Kardol's men. Oghren was going carcass to carcass, smashing the ones that still twitched with his hammer. And apparently running a score with Shale while doing it too….

Riel shook head and sheathed her weapons. Finding Kardol among the twisted mess of spider corpses, she made her way over to him.

"Any problems?" she asked the dwarf when she got close.

"A few injuries that your mages are dealing with. One of my men will need that cure you will be making," Kardol said stiffly. "Six men will be going back to the stone this evening."

"I'm sorry, Kardol," Riel gasped. The deaths a brutal reminder of the danger of what they all lived in. A danger that she had asked Kardol and his men to put themselves in.

"Do not apologize, Warden. The Legion of the Dead fights not just the Darkspawn, but everything that threatens Orzammar. When we each joined the Legion, we swore our lives to protect the people back there. Whether it be crawler or 'spawn. If it is one thing that we Legion knows, is that eventually death comes for us all."

Riel stood silent as Kardol's words hit her. He had lost six men to save two of hers. It was a heavy price that crushed down on her. In that moment, Riel wished she had Zevran's dry humor or even just his gentle reassurance. Things that she knew individuals from Kardol's men would miss of those who had fallen. Because no matter how much one mentally prepared for their own death, it was always hard on those left behind.

"Kardol, your debt to Duncan is paid. Take your wounded and rest. My companions and I will go into the nest and get the eggs." Riel wasn't about to risk any more of their lives for her own needs. "When our mage has made the medicine from them, I will have one of my own deliver some to you."

Riel was about to walk away when Kardol called her back. "Warden, wait!" Riel turned slowly, the relief and joy she felt in victory faded away under the cruel numbness that the reality of death brought with it. "That nest still has Ancestors know how many crawlers left in it, not to mention at least some of those blighted warriors. Not all of them would have left, not to mention the queen herself."

"Your debt to Duncan-"

"Isn't paid until his Warden and her friends are safely back at their camp and they have that blasted antidote." Kardol held up his hand when Riel tried to argue, cutting her off before she began. "Look, I knew Duncan. He was an honorable man who didn't tolerate the blighters that I deal with in the Legion. He wouldn't have recruited you if he didn't see something special in you. And after that last battle, I see it too. You're a fine Grey Warden, and the Ancestors would never forgive me if I left you and your friends to be crawler food. Now give my men time to get all patched up and your mages to get their magic back, and we'd be honored to follow you back into that bronto pen of a nest. After all, it's your job to end the Blight. It's the Legion's job to make the Deep Roads safe again. And I can think of no better way than to finally knock out one of those Ancestor forsaken nests."

"Kardol, what about your men? You already lost so many…" Riel shook her head, shocked and honored by his words. Yet still she was reluctant to allow him and his men to risk their lives for her cause.

"Men!" Kardol called out suddenly. Turning to face them, his face the stern set of a commander addressing his troops. "This here Grey Warden is about to do what no dwarf has done in centuries! She is going to go wipe out an actual nest of those sodding crawlers!" Kardol paused while some of his men whooped in support. "Now, just wait a moment! This  _elven_  Warden-" Kardol emphasized her elven heritage, causing Riel's eyes to narrow. "She is going to do something that by rights, is a dwarven thing to do! As a member of the Legion, and a dwarf myself, I can't tell you how much that sticks in my craw!" More whoops and hollers from his men. "Damn it you sodding back biters! Where are your stones? Are you going to just wait back here while this  **elf**  goes in and takes the honor of clearing out the first crawler in nest in nearly three centuries?"

A chorus of shouts and angry disapprovals followed. Some dwarves even glaring at Riel with anger in their eyes.

"As a dwarf, I'm not just going to sit back here like some fancy deshyr and with my thumb up my arse! I'm not going to let some  _elf_  - Grey Warden or not - take the honor that rightly deserves to the dwarven people! Now who's with me?" Kardol yelled out, his face red from exertion as he rallied.

"Hear, hear!"

"No way I'm staying behind!"

"Ancestors take those crawlers!"

The cheers and shouting from the men all sealed the deal before Riel could even say anything. Weapons lifted into the air and arms pumping the space above their heads. If it wasn't for Riel's own fears and and doubt, she would have probably have found Kardol's speech just as inspiring as the rest of the men did. However…

"You can't be serious! You could die in there!" Riel shouted, pointing towards the entrance to the tunnel.

"Lady, no offence, but we're dead anyway," Kardol grinned, his eyes sparkling with the thirst for battle and glory.

"By the Creators…." Riel grumbled, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"I can see why they follow you, Kardol," Wynne smiled at the dwarf as she approached.

"You seriously can't be in support of this!" exclaimed Riel.

"I may have spent most of life in the Tower, but you do come to learn a few things there. One thing is to never try to win a game of logic against a tranquil. Another is that long robes are sometimes the worst inconveniencing thing ever made,-"

"Wynne…" sighed Riel, rolling her eyes.

"And lastly, never argue with a dwarf when it comes to glory and honor." Wynne smiled and looked over at Kardol. "The men who are able to fight are healed. Those that require the antidote are resting. Morrigan and I have done all we can."

"Good! Get your magic back and we head in. Your golem should take point, followed by archers. When they fall back, is when my warriors will charge, including your giant and that blighted Oghren. You mages should stay back unless you're needed. Uh… that is-" Kardol stopped and looked over to Riel, as if remembering that she was still there. Clearly he was used to be the one taking charge and giving the orders.

Riel sighed. She took charge of one battle so far. Only fair to let Kardol have his turn. "Sounds good to me. The sooner that this is over, the better…"

Kardol smiled broadly and turned to his men, going over the next battle plan. Riel closed her eyes and again wished Zevran was there with her. She missed his laugher and his teasing. The way he disarmed her anger or anxiety with his jokes or just the way he looked at her the way he did. In truth, Riel was surprised at how much she had come to rely on him over these weeks. Even before things got physical between them, he acted as an anchor for her when she left lost or scared. Something to pull her back to reality and remind her that as always - she wasn't alone.

But that wasn't true, was it? She was as alone now as she was when she had walked into Ostagar all those months ago. True, she had allies now. Fighting companions. Those who would to keep her alive. Because she was a Grey Warden. One of two in all of Ferelden. One of only just two people capable of having any chance of defeating this Blight.

Riel looked over to her companions. They were all huddled in with Kardol's men, discussing how they would approach the nest, and somehow get out alive. However Kardol and his men didn't follow her orders because they trusted her. They didn't even know her. To them, Riel was a Grey Warden. To be respected and admired simply for being. It was obvious in the way his men had followed her orders during the last attack. They were not following Riel. The friend, companion, or even ally.

They were following the Grey Warden.

Riel wondered how many of her companions followed her because of that. If they trusted her because of what she was, rather than  _who_  she was. Certainly Sten. Perhaps even Shale. Wynne had stated outright that she joined Riel's party to fight against the Blight. Oghren was down here looking for his wife, Branka. It was doubtful he saw her as anything other than a Warden either. By the Void, he even repeatedly called her by her title, just as Sten and Shale always did. She was not "Riel" to them.

She was the female Grey Warden.

Maybe that's why Leliana and Morrigan's betrayal hurt so much, Riel wondered. Riel had felt as if she were finally becoming more than just another Warden. As if she the person she was beyond the title was actually worth something for once. Someone who they trusted because of  _who_  she was, not what the taint had turned her into. What was she now though? Was she still their friend? Did friend's drug one another? Lie to them? Use their fragile trust against them?

Riel groaned, the pain in her head resurfacing.

She didn't know who or what to trust anymore. Maybe it was better to just be the Warden. The title that everyone expected. Feelings and wants and friendships only made things complicated. Besides, Riel didn't know how to be friends with people. The only thing she knew how to do was fight. To kill things. And she was good at it. Maybe that's all that she needed to be.

If you lived only to kill your next target, you didn't get your trust betrayed. You didn't get your heart broken. You didn't fall for honey eyes and lying smiles.

She would get the eggs for Zevran and Leliana. She would make sure that they lived. However, where things went after that… Riel didn't know. She just knew that she couldn't live with a broken heart. Better to be a title. A title could be respected. Honored. Just as Kardol's men respected her. Titles lived even on, long after the person who carried them had died.

A person however could be hurt. Abused. And discarded. And when a person died, there was nothing left of them. Nothing that lived on.

Riel wanted to live on. She wanted to be worth something more than just an elf who was lucky enough to have survived. Maybe the only way to never be alone, was to become something that lived on in the minds of others.

Riel was just an elf.

A Grey Warden, however,  _ **that**_  was something worth fighting for.


	31. The Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> None for this chapter.

Spider blood smelled something awful. Like rotten eggs mixed with mabari piss, it was just another foul smell that Riel was slowly getting used to. Between Darkspawn filth, the blood of blighted creatures, and the foul blood of dragons, Riel was passed caring about what she smelled like whenever she battled. Fighting was dirty, messy, and if you didn't walk away with some sort of blood or filth on you, then you were doing it wrong.

However, she had never purposefully covered herself in those other stenches before. And as much as she saw the logic in lathering up her skin and armor in the blood of the foul spiders, this was just yet another disgusting thing that would probably haunt her dreams for years to come.

"Remind me to send the bill for a new set of robes to the Legion…" Morrigan groused as she dipped her hand down into the belly of the spider at her feet and scooped up another handful of the strong smelling gunk. Shuddering visibly and her beautiful features pinched, she slathered the dark liquid on her arms and down the front of her robe. "Tell me why again we are covering ourselves in this  _filth_?"

"Because," Riel snapped, rubbing her cheeks and forehead with the spider blood. "If they can't smell us, then they can't attack us."

"This reminds of one time a heavy rain that battered the grounds of the Tower one year," Wynne chuckled softly. "The ground outside practically turned into a giant pool of mud. However, a group of apprentices were scheduled to be outside that day to practice their spells in an open area. Maker…" she laughed, her eyes bright and a smile on her face despite the filth that she covered herself with. "What started out as mild alteration class turned into a mud fight. All of us, even the Templars, slipping and sliding in the wet mud. It wasn't long before we were all covered head to toe! It was weeks before the Templars stopped complaining about the difficulty they had in cleaning their armor afterwards!"

"A bunch of mage ladies covered in mud, slipping around and getting all dirty? Heh… That's hot…." Oghren laughed lecherously.

Riel rolled her eyes, her mind automatically going to whatever inappropriate thing that Zevran would say to Wynne's story. Probably something to make her and the older mage blush, no doubt.

_What an enticing sight that would have been, my lovely Wynne! I can just imagine the dark mud covering your glorious bosom!_

Tears pricked at Riel's eyes as she imagined what his words would be. Zevran always had a way to make her smile with his flirting or comebacks. Even if she felt terrible. Or incredibly stressed. Or just simply lost. Pretty much exactly how she felt at that moment. By the Creator's she missed him. The threat of never seeing his laughing eyes again or feeling the touch of his arms circling her was a heavy stone in her chest that refused to budge.

"Almost ready?" Kardol called out, bringing Riel's mind out of the misery of her thoughts and to the current crisis.

Riel looked over to her companions, judging their progress with the spider's muck, her eyes critical of every strength and flaw that each companion possessed. Satisfied that each had covered themselves well enough - all except Shale of course, who required no such covering - Riel nodded to the commander of the Legion.

"Good. Seeing as I let you lead the last assault, I'm going to take point here, if you don't mind Warden. Out in the open, crawlers are easier to pick off. However, in enclosed areas like these tunnels, they get infinitely more dangerous. You don't just have to watch the space in front of you, but in there you need to be aware of every direction. They can crawl along walls and ceilings as you have seen. One trick they are fond of is cornering an unfortunate duster, getting him distracted by what is in front of him. Then one will suddenly drop down on the poor sod from above without him even noticing."

"That's what happened to that little redhead," Oghren voiced, his brow furrowed.

Riel felt her heart clench hearing the details about what happened to Leliana. However, she couldn't let her mind focus on that. Not now. The others needed her daggers more than her sympathy at that moment. Her tears and regret were not going to save Leliana or Zevran. Only her blades would do that.

"I figure we let that golem of yours go in first, drawing out their attacks."

Shale sighed, before interrupting. "Figures."

Both Riel and Kardol rolled their eyes before he continued. "Archers in such close combat will be useless. So I'm having my lads grab their swords for this. Don't worry though, if they see an angle to safely shoot from, you can bet your knickers that they'll take the shot."

"Where do you want my mages?"

"Heh, as much I loved seeing those blighted things light up like an old fashioned Ancestor's celebration, we can't risk damaging too many of the eggs. The blasted fighting will do enough as it is. So I want your ladies staying back. We'll funnel the wounded back to them when we can. But unless the Paragons have completely abandoned us and turn all of us into spider food, they should stay as far back from the fighting as possible. After all, we need those two to mix up that brew to save our people. It would do no good to have them laid up with the same venom that is infecting the others."

"The dwarf is correct," Sten stated in his usual distant manner.

"I have no problems with that. The question I have is this…" Riel folded her arms across her chest and leveled a hard look at Kardol. "Do you really think we can take out this queen?"

"It's isn't going to a walk amongst the mushrooms, Warden, if that is what you're asking. But I don't think you have noticed something…" Kardol took a few steps closer to Riel and lowered his voice. "The Legion is old. Very old. There are stories of Legionnaires going back to the first Blight. And yet every year, we lose a little more ground. Another city. Another thaig. By the Ancestors, we even lost our own headquarters in Bownammar to those sodding 'spawn seventeen years ago!" Kardol spit out in anger, the loss still a very sore spot with him. "We do this - we clear out this nest, and we  _gain_  something back. Me and my men will do something that hasn't been done in centuries. And while it may not be Bownammar, we take back just a  _little_  bit of what we lost." Kardol then leveled a hard gaze on her, his tattooed covered jaw set in raw determination. "We take the queen spider, and we take back a bit of our honor. That is something that I will  _ **not**_  deny my men. Even if we all die doing it, word will spread that for once, the Legion finally took something  **back!** "

Riel stared at the dwarf, seeing for the first time just how important this was to him. This wasn't just about her and her companions, she realized. It was about something so much larger. Like everything that she and others have faced in the past, this fight was just another small piece of a much larger war that they all fought. Against the Darkspawn and their corruption. Against everything people everywhere had lost.

"Well, it looks like we have some crawlers to skin, doesn't dwarf?" Riel chuckled darkly, her response greeted with a hearty laugh from Kardol as he lightly slapped her on the side of his shoulder.

"Excellent! Men! Time to lace up your skirts! We're meeting a queen tonight!" Kardol laughed as he walked off towards his men.

"I'll have Zevran gut him for you when this is over."

Riel looked over to see Morrigan glowering at Kardol's back. Riel couldn't help but smile slightly. As much as she still hated being touched by others, Riel couldn't find it within herself to blame the dwarf. Although the reassurance from Morrigan did go a long way in easing her nerves. Now if only she had her laughing elf with her….

"You will not win if you doubt yourself, Riel. Remember that," Morrigan quipped suddenly, her yellow gaze boring into Riel. "To most people, they believe is but two options to any event. Win or lose. Stop or go. Left or right. However, I have noticed that this is not the case with you."

"I don't understand."

"For you, there have never been two options. Has there?" Morrigan paused as she stared into Riel's eyes. "You have made it thus far by knowing that there is no such option as 'losing'. You do not fight to win. You do not fight because you believe you will win or lose. You fight because you know there is no other option. You fight because you must. And such it is with the elf and the bard. For you, there must not be any other option other than your desire to save them. And you will. Not because you can. Not because there is an option that you will not succeed. You will save them because you will refuse any other alternative outcome."

"What if we don't get back in time though?" The sob that threatened to break free lodged in Riel's throat, even as her mind demanded that she ignore it.

"You must realize something about yourself, Riel," Morrigan placed her hands on Riel's shoulders, her eyes almost glowing in the darkness. "You have a power in you that few have. Power beyond that of a Warden. Beyond that of a mage. What you desire comes to pass. What you fight against falls under your blades. What obstacle you come across crumbles. You are a leader, not because fate placed you here. You are a leader because you do what must be done. And you will not accept any other outcome than what you desire."

"Is that why you follow me, Morrigan?" Riel whispered, her voice close to breaking. Never had she seen the witch be so open with her. So forward in her faith in Riel. Or really much of anything. It was strange, but also comforting. Yet still her mind clung to past fears and doubts despite the witch's words.

Morrigan dropped her arms from Riel's shoulders and shrugged in the way she usually did when she felt uncomfortable with an answer. "I follow you because you taught me something that Flemeth in all of her wisdom had not. And in truth, never could. You taught me what it is to be a friend." Morrigan paused, mentally cursing the blush that she felt at her cheeks. Clearing her throat she continued on. "You will gain followers, Riel. People who will fight for you because they believe in your cause. Or because they believe in the Wardens. Or perhaps simply out of fear for the Darkspawn. However, you will also gain to you friends and allies who will fight for more than that. And while…  _mistakes_... may be made, know that your greatest enemy will never be the Darkspawn or humans. It shall always be your own doubt."

"I never expected a pep talk from you, Morrigan," Riel laughed softly, ignoring the tears that gathered at her eyes.

"Yes, well. We shall not mention it again, shall we?" Morrigan replied with another blush. "I am ill-suited for such things," she waved her hand as if wanting to dismiss the whole thing. "Best to leave such mushy emotions for Leliana or that assassin.  _ **When**_  you awaken them from their current malady. And after you sorely punish them, of course."

Riel actually laughed at that. "Of course. But what about you?"

" _Me_? Isn't it enough that I am currently lathered in foul smelling spider insides, surrounded by even fouler smelling dwarves, on my way to combat even more venomous spiders, including a supposedly very large queen?"

Riel laughed at the woman's outrage. Although perfectly well played to the point where the witch even looked offended and angry, Riel knew the woman far too well. Under that bitter look of disgust and annoyance, Riel saw how much she meant to the witch. And the spider innards  _did_  smell horrific. Although…

"Three days of sharing watch with Alistair when we finally leave Orzammar.  _Then_  we will be even," Riel giggled evilly.

"Oh now you go too far woman! You will do no such thing! Not unless you actually favor the idiot surviving until we reach the Dalish!"

"Alright! Enough yakking, ladies! We've got baddies to squish!" Oghren called out, pulling both women out of their reverie.

 _Right. Spiders._ _ **Big**_   _spiders. And a Voidforsaken queen…_  Riel thought bitterly to herself with a heavy sigh.

"No other option," Morrigan added briskly before leaving her side and joining the others as they gathered at the entrance to the tunnel.

"Right. Win. Lose. It doesn't matter. I  _ **will**_  get those eggs!" she stated to herself, cursing.

"Okay then, you sodding rock lickers, let's go introduce ourselves to the queen!" Kardol roared, raising his sword in the air. The action was mimicked by his men and Riel couldn't help but join in, raising one of her own blades into the air and issuing forth a mighty yell.

"Do try to not get squished! You all already smell bad enough without winding up corpses!" Shale muttered loudly as it started down the tunnel at a surprising pace considering it's huge size.

The Legion dwarves followed closely behind the golem, charging their massive force down the tunnel, their battle cries echoing off the walls around them. Riel and her group followed shortly after, their weapons out and ready.

It was up to her, Sten and Oghren and Riel's mabari hound to protect both Morrigan and Wynne as they cast spells to aid the fighters against the swarm of spiders that greeted them. So even when the screeching of the vile creatures mixed with the roars from the dwarves, they stayed behind, making sure any spider's that made it past those up ahead did not get to the mages.

"Watch their fangs, you dusters!" someone called out from the mess of bodies ahead of Riel. A moment later, a pained scream sounded out. One that didn't belong to any spider.

Riel twirled her blades in her hand, shifting the daggers before she lurched forward to stab the hairy back of a crawler just before it was able to strike at Sten. The giant turned, and seeing the screaming spider he hefted his blade and decapitated it. He then nodded briefly to Riel before turning to face the next foe.

Riel caught movement to her left and almost slashed out, however caught herself barely in time to keep from slicing into an already wounded dwarf. He had a large gash on his forehead that was bleeding profusely, and he stumbled as if he were drunk. Cursing, she quickly shoved the dwarf behind to her where Morrigan and Wynne stood, casting restoring and boosting magics on them all.

"They are starting to get injured! Prepare yourselves!" she called out. "Sten, Oghren! Hold the line! I'm going to check on Kardol!"

Riel waited until she caught the eyes of both men and had them nod their understanding to her before she rushed off. Another two dwarves laid unmoving on the ground just a few feet down the tunnel, and Riel let go a deep growl as she sliced with her blades, removing the head of one spider and plunging her other dagger into the face of another.

"Incoming!" Riel shouted down to her companions before quickly placing her blades on the ground and grabbing one dwarf by his collar and the bottom of his armor. Calling on every ounce of strength she had, Riel lifted the heavy male then roughly tossed him towards where Sten waited to catch the dwarf and get him to the mages.  _Sodding bastards weigh more than they look_  Riel cursed as she grunted under the weight of the next dwarf. Then with far less precision than she intended, Riel tossed the second dwarf. They landed with a heavy  _thud_  indicating that she missed the mark of Sten's arms enough where if they were alive, the dwarves will probably feel it after they awoken.

Her back screamed in protest as Riel grabbed her blades and righted herself. Squinting her eyes, she looked further down the tunnel and tried to see past the mix of bodies and limbs that fought back and forth, trying to see the leader of the Legion. She would never forgive herself he ended up dying. Regaining their honor or not, Riel was just not okay with losing any more dwarfs in this fight. Kardol most of all.

Slashing out with her daggers, Riel carefully made her way past the chaos, dodging blows from both spider and dwarf. Once almost taking a heavy hammer to the chest, Riel rolled free of the blow and let it hit its intended target of the snapping mandible belonging to a very angry spider. Several times she would find injured dwarves, and she would try her best to herd them towards the back where the others waited. She also used her blades to keep near fatal blows from landing on the dwarven Legion. Attacking with her daggers at legs and biting fangs, slicing them clean off and preventing them from being used further.

Finally Riel moved past the fighting to the front where Kardol and Shale were battering away at crawlers larger than any Riel had ever seen. Twice the size of the ones she had seen previously, these ones easily stood as giants over even Shale. Black in color, these vile spiders hissed and lunged forward with their fangs and claws, trying to grab at any flesh it could reach.

"Nest warriors!" Riel heard Kardol call out to her a moment before he cursed violently.

"Kardol!" Riel cursed as she ran to him. The large spider he was fighting managed to sink one its clawed limbs through Kardol's sword arm. Riel screamed and rushed forward, her blades out and singing. Just as the beast turned to attack her, Riel skidded to her knees and slid under it, slicing off the limb that stuck in Kardol with one blade, and using the other to slice right through the creature's outstretched fangs.

Once Kardol was free, he fell backwards to the ground below. "Damn blighters…" he coughed, looking down at the limb that still stuck out from his arm.

"Grit your teeth dwarf," Riel stated flatly before she took hold of the hairy leg and pulled it out in one swift motion. Kardol screamed out, his eyes squinting shut against the pain. "I told you to grit your teeth."

"Next time give me more than a sodding second of warning!" he hissed back, cradling his arm to his chest. "Look… I-I don't-" he stuttered as the color from his face started to drain. "I-I don't have much time…. so-so listen…."

"Save your strength, you sodding idiot…" Riel cursed as she knelt by his side.

"Listen damn you!" his stern shout cut off Riel's further argument, causing her to focus. "That-that queen… I saw her… She's bigger than anything we th-thought…" His face was almost devoid of its natural dark pigment, yet he reached out to grab hold of Riel's armor and held it with a strength that defied his worsening condition. "She has a stinger… moves… moves very fast… and… and…"

"Kardol!" Riel screamed, shaking the dwarf, yet he was fully unconscious, the venom in his system working to slowly kill him as it was doing to the other that she cared about. "Damn it!"

"Riel!"

Riel looked up from the body to see Wynne rushing over to her. With practiced motions, the mage began to examine Kardol, going first to the obvious wound on his arm before checking his pulse and other vitals. Riel looked past her to see Sten and Oghren battling a single nest warrior while Morrigan had managed to find herself up on top of a large rock where she cast repeated spells at the remaining spiders. Around her were the remaining dwarves, only a handful in number, yet they fought just as fiercely as before.

"What are you doing here?" Riel demanded of the woman next to her.

"The ones in the tunnel are either dying or dead. When the Legion moved forward, so did we," Wynne paused as she counted the beats she could feel under her fingers. "He still lives. For now. However, we must get him out of the main area." Wynne stood up and placed her staff at her back before taking hold of Kardol's heavy armor in both her hands. "Either help me drag him or go help the others kill those things!" Wynne snapped before using her strength to pull Kardol's unconscious body a few inches, before bracing herself and pulling again.

"By the Void!" Riel cursed as she stood and took hold of the other side of Kardol's armor. Together the two of them hefted the dwarf's body to just in front of the tunnel that led back to the the beginning of their battle.

"I have him now. Go on! Your hound shall stay with me, you are needed with the others!" Wynne stated, all but shoving Riel towards the fighting before she went to check on another dwarf.

"It comes!"

Riel spun at the sound of Sten's loud bellow, her eyes finding the large body just as it descended from a monstrous hole in the ceiling. Easily the size of an entire building, the spider queen's legs long reached out further than several horses lined end to end. Fangs the size of great swords and dripping with venom clicked against mandibles large enough to snap a full grown man in half. And each black eye seemed to seethe anger and wrath as they fixed on Riel and her companions.

With a large breath, the spider queen let loose a horrid roar, spital and venom spewing forth as it raged against the intrusion to its nest. The remaining smaller spiders that guarded their queen skittered back, almost as if being called back by their queen. Quickly they disappeared into the shadows and along the walls, leaving the queen alone to deal with the intruders herself.

"That's one big eight legged freak!" Oghren called out, followed by a low whistle.

"Stay away from it's front legs! She will use them to pull you into her mouth!" an unknown dwarf called out as the group spanned out to encircle the beast.

"Attack the legs! Remove the claws the at the ends!" screamed Riel as she readied her daggers.

_No other option. It dies not because it can. But because it_ _**must** _ **.**

Riel bellowed an angry war cry as she charged the monster, ducking a swipe of it's leg and cutting out with her dagger. Around her, the others had also charged, their attacks distracting the queen to where she pranced around like a nervous halla. Suddenly Riel heard a scream of agony and turned her head in time to see a second dwarf scream and fall to the ground, covered in what looked like a greyish purple glob of slime.

"It spits venom! Watch yourselves!" Sten could be heard shouting.

Riel cursed wildly, dodging and rolling as she avoided being stepped on by the spider queen's clawed legs. Seeing an opportunity, she struck out, slicing into one of the hairy limbs. However, unlike the other limbs she had previously dismembered, the queen seemed to have a natural armor to her. Instead of Riel's sharpened blade slicing straight through its flesh, it stuck about halfway through.

"Shit!" she cried out as she pulled on the blade.

"Move Warden!"

Riel looked up at Oghren's voice just in time to see the queen take aim at her, spitting forth a glob of its venom straight at her. It was solely due to her long hours fighting and practicing with Zevran that Riel had developed the speed needed to roll away in time to barely miss the attack.

However, she had to leave to blade stuck in the creature's leg. Down to just one dagger, Riel shifted the blade into her main hand and took quick inventory of the situation. Sten and Oghren still swung their weapons, yet her experience fighting with the two men told her that their arms were tiring. Wynne and Fen stayed hidden by a collapsed building, with Wynne casting her protective spells to whoever she could. Morrigan was now on the short roof of another stout building, launching her spells in quick succession, while Shale charged and battered at the queen, using its whole body as a weapon.

"Morrigan!" Riel called out, dodging past the dancing legs of the spider to get closer to the witch. "Remember Alistair and Redcliff?"

"I shall try!" she answered back, her power obviously waning under the strain. Riel saw the woman reach down and pull a potion from her robes before quickly downing in, then tossing the vial away.

"How do I ever detest spiders!" Riel heard Morrigan curse out as she gathered magic to her. Unlike the spell she had cast on Alistair when he annoyed her, this one needed to be larger to encompass the queen's immense body. It also would not be held back with how much damage it would do, the point not to teach a lesson to an idiotic Templar, but to kill a powerful and monstrous queen spider.

Riel waited with held breath, watching for the moment the witch's spell would take effect. When it would, Riel would rush forward and attack it's frozen body, slicing at whatever she could with her sole dagger.

However, it seemed the queen had other plans. Noticing the pull of magic, the queen shifted her focus to Morrigan, hissing out in unrestrained anger. "Morrigan!" screamed Riel, unable to reach her friend in time. The woman's senses were better than most humans though, allowing Morrigan to see the attack aimed for her and managing to dodge the venomous the glob. Twisting her body, Morrigan leapt from her perch down to the ground below.

Landing in a crouched pile, Riel rushed over to her. However just before she reached the woman, the queen shot out one of its legs and struck Morrigan hard. The force of the blow sending the witch flying back and through the wall of the building just behind her.

" **Morrigan!** " Riel screamed as she watched on in horror.  _No! Not her too! I can't lose all of them!_  Riel's mind raced. Images of Zevran and Leliana lying pale and close to death flashed to her mind. Images of what she imagined Morrigan's broken body would look like were next in her mind. Her friends. The only ones that had truly meant anything to her, were now either dead or dying. Kardol and his men. Duncan imagined, lying dead on the battlefield of Ostagar.

Riel felt her body warming without warning. The air around her heating as if the sun had somehow broken through the miles of rock above their heads and now shined down in all its glory upon her. Anger suffused Riel as she turned back towards the queen spider. The beast looked down on her, its body shaking slightly as if the queen was  _laughing_  at the pain that assaulted Riel's whole being.

" **YOU SHALL NOT HAVE THEM!** " Riel bellowed as fire took over her body and shot forth from her outstretched arms.

A wave befitting an ocean of fire flowed from Riel towards the spider queen, taking over its body completely. Screaming in agony, the queen thrashed about, trying to put out the flames that were consuming it. Perhaps it was the thick hair that covered their bodies, or perhaps it was something about the venom that they spewed, but all the spiders of the deep were susceptible to fire, and the giant queen was no different. Quickly the flames spread all over, burning and charring her flesh despite how much it writhed under the pain.

Then as quickly as it happened, it was over. Letting out a final screech, the spider queen collapsed into a jumbled heap of burned limbs against the far wall. There was a chorus of shouts, exclaiming happily at the death as the handful of remaining dwarves shouted and laughed.

The fire that stemmed from Riel died out, pulling back from the queen's corpse and seeming to return back into Riel's outstretched arms. With a deep shudder, Riel then collapsed down to the ground. The sounds of victory quickly became calls for concern. Of worry. And as they got louder, the world around Riel continued to spin. The voices around her were muffled, as if she were underwater as they called out to her. She tried to pull herself up, yet her body was far too weak to even lift her head.

Fear descended onto her. She couldn't move! Surrounded by people she not only couldn't trust, but strangers who she didn't know. Legion members who probably did any of number of wretched things! Screaming at herself mentally to move, Riel's heartbeat so hard she thought it would shoot free from her very chest.

"The Warden is injured!" a dwarf said as he approached her.

"I didn't know she was a mage!" another one said.

"We should move her back to her camp!" came a third.

Suddenly all voices stopped, and everything became deathly still. Riel cried silently, unable to even lift her head to see who came close to her. She could nothing to defend herself despite how badly she yelled at her body to comply.

"The Grey Warden is not to be touched."

It was Sten's voice Riel heard. The hard surety of it something that Riel had grown accustomed to over the weeks of travel. However, she didn't know whether to be thankful or even more fearful at his statement. Did he plan something else for her?

Suddenly Wynne's face appeared before her own. Smiling down at her, Wynne leaned in closer, yet was careful to not touch her. "Morrigan is alive. She has some bruises, and a broken shoulder, but she is alive. However, we need to take you both back to the camp to see to everyone's wounds," she said carefully before pausing to look at something off to the side. Nodding she looked back down to Riel. "Shale will carry you, dear. Alright?"

Riel really had no option but to agree. She could barely keep her eyes open, let alone even nod her head. So instead she closed her eyes and stopped fighting against herself to move.  _At least it wasn't Sten_  she thought to herself. After a few extended moments, Riel felt herself being lifted and being cradled against something hard. It carried no warmth to it. No scent that branded it as a man or woman. The only smell Riel could place was the scent of the spider blood and lyrium. Riel made herself focus on how the only thing that touched her was normal rock and stone. Even if it moved and liked to talk back whenever it could.

Instead of the swaying feel of herself being carried, Riel forced her mind to think back to warm touches and honey eyes.

_Zevran, please don't die…. I still need you….._


	32. Choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Te amo demasiado que perder: Antivan. "I love you too much to lose you."
> 
> Mierda: Antivan. "Shit." A common swear word.

_Zevran opened his eyes and had to blink several times, trying to clear the haze that lingered in his sight. The whole world seemed bathed in a strange light, as if it were a painting that was painted with the wrong shades of color. Yet no matter how many times he blinked or rubbed at his eyes, the strange tinge to the world persisted._

" _Your sight is not flawed, elf…"_

_Zevran quickly sat up and looked in the direction of the voice. Standing several feet from him was an old human woman, withered by time until her hair was near white, and lines from wrinkles etched across her face. Yet despite her age, a deep power exuded from her. Power different from that of a mage or Templar, and infinitely greater than either._

" _Who are you?" he asked, his eyes narrowing on her._

" _I go by many names. Some of which are known, some of which are not. I am as you can see, an old woman. Yet is that I all that I am?" the old woman laughed, her voice shrill sounding to Zevran's delicate ears. "Hmm… Know that whoever I am, I am someone not to be trifled with."_

_Zevran looked around. He seemed to be in the midst of a forest, with tall trees and thick brush surrounding him. The grass underneath was soft and thick, and the area seemed completely untouched by human or elf for years. He tried to focus on how he got there, yet his mind seemed even more clouded than his eyesight. He did not remember lying down to rest, and certainly didn't remember entering any forest, especially one that looked like this. Or was this silent. Despite the tall trees, not a single bird sang from their heights. Thinking on it, Zevran couldn't feel the wind or sun either, even though it was clearly midday judging from how bright it was._

" _Where am I?"_

" _Well, isn't that the next most logical question, isn't it?" the woman again chuckled to herself._

_She wore peasant clothing, a simple brown dress that covered her arms and most of her legs. A plain black belt hung about her waist, and common shoes fitted her feet. There was no grand jewelry gracing her neck, and no adornments in her hair. Pretty enough in her old age, she was still rather plain with her unkempt white hair and unblushed cheeks. The woman looked like so many poor or impoverished women that filled the lands of Thedas._

_Zevran stood and leveled a glare on the woman. Despite her normal appearance, there was definitely something not right about her. The power he felt from her was not something a simple peasant should have access too. Not to mention the way her hard eyes looked upon him, judging him as if he were a piece of meat to be consumed. And not in the good way, either._

" _Are you a mage?" he asked, doubting she would answer truthfully. After all, not many outside of the Circle would._

_The woman laughed heartily. "A mage you say? Well, I have certainly been called one in the past."_

" _I see you didn't answer the question…"_

" _No, I did not," the woman snapped, her own eyes narrowing. "And what would you do if I said that I was?"_

" _I would do nothing," Zevran shrugged casually._

" _Oh? I thought citizens were required to inform the Chantry if they found a mage outside of the Tower that lacked proper papers."_

" _As you can see, my lovely lady, we are far from any Chantry," Zevran smiled as he motioned to the thickly wooded area around him. "Besides, I am not one to go tattling to the Chantry just because some wish to live beyond their control."_

" _So you don't think that all mages should be brought to the Circle?" the old woman asked, taking a few steps closer. Zevran remained still, however, not showing any discomfort at her closeness if he felt any._

" _If a mage needs the guiding presence of the Circle, then that is where they should be. However, not every mage needs their aid. They should not be forced to submit themselves as slaves," Zevran bit back, his eyes glaring at the woman. He knew his answers were being tested, and that whether a battle would take place or not rested entirely on not just his answers, but how truthful he was in giving them._

_The old woman smiled, the look more cruel than friendly. "Do you know why mages need to be watched by Templars?"_

" _Because the Chantry fears demons," he responded. He had heard the Chant before many times. Had heard the sisters preaching that magic was dangerous and invited temptation from evil beings that would kill and corrupt anything they touched. He may be an assassin, but he was no fool._

" _We shall see about that…" the old woman murmured to herself. She then crossed one arm over her midsection, and raised her other hand to gently touch her face. A thinking pose that he had often seen someone else do…. Someone important to him… "The Chantry fears many things, elf," the woman stated, pulling Zevran away from his clouded memories. "Most of which, it fears change. Change threatens the power it wields, and the control it has over those beneath it."_

" _Why do you want to know my views on mages and the Chantry?"_

" _If I were to tell you that change was coming - change great enough to shatter the very Chantry itself - would you try to stop it? Would you protect the ways of tradition that so many held dear?"_

" _I would do what I thought was best at the time. Although I doubt very much that such a change could exist, if it brought about something better, why would I stop it? Not everything is worth saving," Zevran chuckled coldly. "As a Crow, you learn to accept death, and the change that it brings. For without death, there can be no life."_

" _What if you were given something_ _ **worth**_   _saving, however? Even if it meant that the whole world were to burn because of it?"_

" _What are you getting at old woman?" snapped Zevran. He was getting tired of the games. Something inside of him was making him anxious, as if he needed to be somewhere other than he was. Somewhere beyond this eerie forest and this strange woman with her cryptic words._

" _If you were given a treasure to hold, yet you knew this treasure would usher in the beginning of change so vast that history itself would forever change, would you give it up? Or would you sacrifice the world for this treasure you held so dearly in your hands?"_

_The way the woman spoke pulled at something in Zevran's mind. Something important that he had somehow forgotten. However, he forced himself to remain stoic and unfazed. There was no telling who this woman was or what she was after._

" _It would depend on the treasure…" Zevran chuckled, covering his true emotions with his casual charm._

" _A treasure beyond words, elf," the old woman said softly, her yellow eyes flashing silver for a moment._

_Zevran gasped, his mind reeling over images he still couldn't place. Silver eyes…. Why did that call out to him so much?_

" _There is such a treasure out there. Precious beyond all the wealth in the world. However, it has been damaged. Misused. And mistreated…." the woman's expression went soft for the first time since they had began speaking. "It has been…. broken…."_

_An image flashed to Zevran's mind - a woman sitting afraid, eyes filled with tears as she looked upon him, trembling and ready to run away because of the deep fear that she felt. 'I am broken, Zevran…' the face said to him… her silver eyes pleading…._

" _Make no mistake,_ _ **change**_   _ **is**_   _coming. There are dark forces conspiring, elf. Things which wish to alter the world in ways that would bring about the suffering of many. The drums of war already beat, and it is not so simple as a battle against corrupted creatures born in dark lairs and tunnels deep underground. That is only the beginning."_

" _You speak in riddles!" Zevran hissed, a deep anxiety building in him, coming from half images and forgotten memories. What was going on?_

" _Then hear me now!" the woman snapped back. "I have gifted to you my greatest treasure. A treasure that will help set in motion a chain of events which will affect all the people of Thedas for ages to come."_

' _I love you, Zevran…' a voice called out to him from somewhere in Zevran's mind._

" _However, the forces that work against me will stop at nothing to break her. To destroy her. For within her lies the very end of the very plague that kills her!" the old woman exclaimed, an immense gust of wind suddenly whipping around her and hitting Zevran head on. Lifting his arms over his face to protect himself, Zevran had to ground his footing to keep himself from being blown over. "Will you protect her?!" the old woman screamed out, her shrill voice somehow not lost in the gale that blasted against Zevran._

" _Yes!" Zevran answered even as he struggled against the wind._

" _Will you fight for her?!" the woman called out again, louder this time._

_Zevran had trouble gaining his breath as the wind assaulted not just his skin, but his lungs. "Yes!" he cried out._

" _Will you_ _ **die**_   _for her?!"_

_The wind now stung like knives, slashing at Zevran's skin and tearing away his flesh. His eyes watered and his throat felt dryer than a desert, yet still Zevran held his ground. His flesh rendered from his very bones, he refused to back down. He couldn't, even if had the desire to. A feeling erupting from deep within his being calling out him, solidifying his resolve no matter the cost. Even though sanity told him to keep his arms braced against his face to protect himself against the bladed wind, Zevran lowered his limbs and stared at the woman with every ounce of conviction he held within his eyes._

" _ **Yes!**_   _I_ _ **will**_   _die for her!" Zevran screamed out against the gale, his fists clenched and his body heated despite the coldness of the air around him._

_Suddenly the gale ended, bringing back immediately the calm stillness of before. Zevran gasped for air, feeling as if he he hadn't breathed for hours and was now suddenly granted the precious oxygen. Falling to his knees, he glared up at the old woman, his golden eyes sparking fire in his anger._

" _Good. Now don't betray her again, elf. Her heart has been broken enough."_

" _W-wh-who are y-you..?" he managed to gasp, his throat nothing but sand against rock._

" _As I said, I am someone not to be trifled with, elf. Beyond that, I simply am an old, old woman who has seen far too many of those dear to me perish because of mistakes made long ago. Now…. you have a job to do, do you not? Zevran?"_

" _Zevran?"_

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"Zevran?"

Zevran gasped deeply as he bolted upright. His eyes wide, he looked to his side to see the worried gaze of the older mage, Wynne. Beside her was the witch Morrigan, who despite her stoic expression, her yellow eyes still managed to looked concerned. Quickly Zevran looked around him, his eyes searching for the only thing that he cared about. The only thing that filled his mind even as his stomach lurched and his head felt as if it were split in two.

"Riel?" he managed to say, his voice so terribly hoarse that it was painful even to breathe.

"She is fine," Wynne smiled softly.

However, he couldn't believe her. Not until he saw her with his own eyes. Felt her warm skin with his own hands. Heard her heart beating and saw the beautiful silver tint of her eyes as she looked up at him. Only then would he know that she was alive and well. Even if she hated him. Even if she despised him. Just for that one moment to know that she was alive….

"W-where?" he wheezed, coughing several times due to the effort.

"You need to rest, Zevran. The venom…-" Wynne tried to push him gently back down to the bedroll beneath him. Yet with weakened arms he pushed her away. He didn't need rest. What he  _needed_  was his Riel. His beautiful, sweet Riel.

"Oh, out of the way old woman!" Suddenly the witch Morrigan was in his gaze, holding something in her hands. "First you drink. Than you shall drink one more. Only  _then_  shall I take you to see her. Understood?" Morrigan's hard look matched his own glare. A quiet battle of wills ensued, with each of them trying to stare down the other. Finally Zevran just took the cup she offered and downed the liquid as quickly as he could, mentally cursing the woman.

That is, until his body launched into a coughing fit that wracked through his entire being. Violent spasms shot through him as he damn near coughed up both of his lungs. At least, that was what it felt like. And that damnable woman was still there in front of him, blocking Zevran from getting up. In her hands another cup filled with the same liquid. Once the coughing subsided enough for him to breathe somewhat normally, he glared at the witch, glancing between the cup she held and her yellow eyes.

"No, 'tis not poison, you fool," she snapped, rolling her eyes. "Why does everyone insist that I am now poisoning them?"

"Well, you  _did_  drug Riel, and are well educated in herbs and toxins…"

Morrigan shot a glare over to Wynne, before returning her gaze to Zevran's. "'Tis merely water, you foolish man. You were severely dehydrated from the venom that infected you. The coughing is your damnable body adjusting to having water again," she huffed. However when Zevran just continued to glare at her, Morrigan groaned in frustration and put the cup to her own lips. Taking a quick drink, she then offered to Zevran. "Better? Now drink, you damnable man!"

Satisfied that perhaps she was telling the truth, Zevran took the cup from her and drained the rest of the liquid. Admittedly, this time it did go down easier than the first time. His mind felt clearer too. However, the water did nothing to ease the burning ache in his soul to lay his eyes upon his Riel and see that she lived.

"I do not suppose that I can force another cup upon you before you go sprinting off, can I?" Morrigan quipped with a sigh.

Zevran shook his head. "Riel. Now." He agreed to her two cups. Now it was time for his heart to no longer lay in pieces. And the only thing that could put it back together was her.

Morrigan sighed, then stood. "You there, dwarf. Help me move the idiot to his woman."

With a few grunts and a  _lot_  of pain on Zevran's part, the three of them finally managed to shuffle over to the tent that he and Riel shared. After lowering him down to his knees, Zevran pushed the other two away, before crawling through the tent flap and into the small area.

There, lying on her back was his goddess. Her eyes were closed, and she had her armor on. Blood and dirt covered her body, yet she was never more beautiful to him than she was in that moment. Grunting painfully, Zevran managed to crawl over to her, then carefully lowering himself down by her side.

With an unsteady hand, Zevran reached out and gently touched her cheek. Her skin was warm, bringing a smile to his face. And in the silence, his sensitive ears could hear her steady breathing and the soft thump of her heart beneath the leathers that she wore. Repeating thankful prayers in his mind, Zevran placed his forehead against her shoulder and finally allowed himself to take a real breath since coming awake.

Beside him, Riel moaned then turned her body into his. Her unconscious form instinctively seeking him out, she nuzzled into him, pressing her body against his. Zevran gratefully wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly to him.

"I am here,  _mi bella_ …. I am… here…" he whispered to her, tears falling down his cheeks.

"Mmm…. Zevran..." Riel moaned blissfully, her eyes remaining closed. "Zevran!" she then exclaimed, her upper body shooting up and her eyes popping wide. "Zevran! Is it really you?"

"I believe so…." Zevran chuckled, his perfect charming smile in place.

Riel then wrapped her arms around his body and pulled him to her tightly. Zevran didn't fight against the tight embrace in the least, his own arms winding around her and returning her tight hold. The two of them stayed like that for several moments, Zevran just grateful that she was indeed alive and breathing.

Suddenly Riel pulled back from him, her hand coming up and slapping him hard against his cheek. "Ow!" he exclaimed, however his protest was cut off by Riel learning down and kissing him hard and long. Her slap forgotten for the moment, Zevran lost himself in the feeling of her lips against him. That was until she pulled away again, then giving him another hard slap across the face.

"You bastard! ` You awful, ignorant asshole!" Riel cried, tears falling down her face. Zevran had an apology on his tongue before he was once again cut off by her mouth on his. The sweetness of her taste luring him under once more. "I  _hate_  you…" she uttered against his lips.

"I know," he answered to her, cursing himself for the thousandth time.

Riel sat up and wiped at her eyes. It was so hard looking at him, lying there next to her like nothing was different. Yet everything  _was_  different, wasn't it? Zevran propped himself up on his arm, unsure of what to say or how to apologize to her. To be honest, he wasn't even sure how long he was out from the attack. Or why his Riel was in her armor and covered with blood and dirt. He was just too grateful to see her eyes open and looking at him.

"You didn't want me to follow you," Riel finally said, breaking the silence between them.

"You were too worn down. Between the nightmares and what being down here was doing to do…"

"You  _ **drugged**_  me, Zevran…" she spat out, her voice filled with anger.

"I couldn't risk your life,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran replied, sitting up and cupping her cheek in his hand. "I would do  _anything_  to protect you."

"I  _couldn't_  wake up. Don't you understand? The dreams… The  _nightmares…_  I could always wake up before…. But when you…" Riel paused, a sob rocking through her body. Yet when Zevran reached out to comfort her, she pushed him away. "With whatever that was in me, I  _couldn't_  wake up from them. They just kept repeating. Getting worse and worse…"

"Riel… I am so very sorry…" Zevran's voice broke, tears in his eyes.

"And do you want to know what I woke up to? Not  _you_  holding me and telling that they were just dreams. No, I have Morrigan and Wynne sitting over me, telling me that I was  _drugged_ , and that all of you - even  **you**  - planned it." Riel's sadness gave way to anger, the bitter feeling of betrayal that she had kept pushing away while his life was in danger and she needed to focus on fighting. "That wasn't even the worst of it, though! When I leave the tent here, I see you and Leliana, unconscious and nearly  **dead**!"

"Riel, I-"

"No! You don't get to speak now, Zevran! I  _trusted_  you! You were the only one who knew what happened to me before. Why I hate people touching me and why I am the way I am. Only  _you_  knew why I refused to take that piss medicine that Alistair tried forcing on me! And what did you do? You used my trust in you to  _ **drug me**_. To take away my choice in how I dealt with this crap! Don't you think I knew how bad I was? That I knew how close I was breaking? But you didn't give me the choice of taking Morrigan's potion, did you? You  _forced_  it on me. You used my trust in you to  **force**  something on me that I didn't want and didn't know about!"

Zevran remained silent as she yelled at him. He knew he deserved her words and much worse. Out of everything that he did in the past - the mistakes he made in handling her or trying to work around her guard - none of it had been purposeful. None except for this. Zevran knew that she had every right to hate him. He had done the one thing that he swore that he would never do.

"There is no words I can give to you…" he whispered when the silence begin to stretch between them.

"All I wanted was the  _choice_ , Zevran…" Riel cried, her wind of anger gone for the moment. "To live or die, that has always been the only choice that I have ever been given. Everything else has just formed around those two choices. Do this to live, or don't do it to die. Even when I fight, I choose to fight back and survive because to not do so would mean that I just lie down and die. And that was always the one thing that I could  _never_  do. For most of my life, I survived each day not because I had any hope for the future or that things would change for me. I survived because it was the only option I had. Even when Duncan found me and offered to make me a Grey Warden, I didn't do it because I wanted to. I left with him because there was no other choice. During the Joining, I was the only who survived. Again, not because I wanted to be a Warden. But because there was no other choice. Wardens or death. And death wasn't an option for me. Then came the battles at Ostagar, fleeing to Lothering, and every single day since then. I got up each day and survived, pushing forward and doing what I had to, because there was no other choice. And the  **only**  time that ever changed for me was when I met you."

Riel wrapped her arms around herself, trying to keep herself from giving in to the urge to go back into Zevran's warm embrace. Yet she couldn't. Not yet. Not until he understood.

"You gave me back a choice, Zevran. You gave me a reason to get up each day other than just simply  _having_  to. To fight this Blight. To gather an army. To fight the Archdemon. Those have never been choices for me. But  _you_ …. You gave me a choice. A reason to open my eyes every morning and to be happy for it. And now…."

"You still have a choice, Riel…" Zevran whispered softly, his voice cracking from emotion. "I do not deserve your forgiveness. I know this. I do not deserve anything from you, and I never have. However, you  _do_  have a choice. Send me away right now, and I shall never bother you again. If you can withstand my presence, I will still fight for you. I will follow you to the end of this journey and help you to defeat the Archdemon. However, that will be the end of my involvement with you. And when the Archdemon lies dead and this Blight is over, you can choose to send me away, never to see me again. Or you can choose to send me away now. And I will leave. I will find my own way back to the surface and never trouble you again."

"Those are my choices, Zevran?" Riel laughed sharply, her tone dark and filled with sadness.

"The only ones that I deserve," he shrugged.

"Creators…. Morrigan was right… you  _really are_  a fool…"

"Riel…?"

"I'm mad, Zevran. Incredibly pissed off, and annoyed, and frustrated, and worried, and a whole bunch of other things that I don't have the words to describe. And a large part of me wants to yell and scream and call you names while I beat on you with Oghren's hammer."

"Which I rightly deserve…."

"Probably," Riel grinned. "However, I keep going back to that moment when I saw you lying by the fire, pale and unmoving. You were so cold, it was if you were already dead. And it felt as if a part of me died in that moment too. Seeing you there, I was determined to get you better, no matter what it took. No matter what I had to kill or who I had to face. And that's when I started to understand. At least in part. Going back to where you were attacked and fighting against those spiders-"

"You went back?" Zevran exclaimed, his eyes wide in horror. "By the gods, why?"

"To  _save_  you. We needed to go back there to get the things we needed for the antidote," she stated as if it were one of the most obvious things in the world. However judging from the look of horror on Zevran's face, the only obvious thing was how petrified he was at her words.

Zevran couldn't hold himself back any longer, launching himself at Riel and pulling her into a tight embrace against him. He then let go of her and lightly started patting her down, carefully examining her for injuries as if he again needed to make sure for himself that she was indeed unharmed.

"Zevran. Zevran! I'm fine!" she laughed softly.

Zevran took hold of her face and stared into her eyes. "You must  _never_  go back there,  _mi bella_. It is far too dangerous-"

"We killed the queen, Zev," Riel stated, cutting him off. It took a moment for her words to reach him, his wide eyes blinking several times before he finally processed what she said.

" _What_?"

"When Wynne and Shale came back with you two, they ran into the Legion of the Dead. Kardol, their leader, helped us go back and get what we needed for the antidote. That's what I was trying to tell you. With Kardol and his men, we were able to get past the spiders and defeat their queen."

Zevran felt incredibly dizzy all of a sudden. Images of Leliana's being attacked raced through his mind, only instead of her face, it was Riel's.  _Her_  scream for help that echoed in his ears as he battled to get to her in time.  _Her_  that the spider dropped down onto from above and attacked.  _Her_  body lying dead and unmoving underneath the giant eight legged beast.

"Zevran? Are you okay?" she asked him.

"No! No, I am not  _okay_! By the gods, I almost lost you, without evening knowing it!" he exclaimed, pulling her tightly against him again. "Riel you must swear to me that you will never go off and fight some foolish battle to save me!"

"I absolutely will not!" Riel shot back, her brow furrowed.

"Riel, you  **must**! You cannot ever do that again! If something were to happen to you because of me…."

"And how do you think I felt seeing you nearly dead by the fire because you tried to save  _ **me**_?" Riel angrily spat back.

"That is different!"

"Not to me!"

They both glared at each other, each unwilling to give in. Finally Riel broke the silence between them, yet her voice was no less hard than before. "Are you going to stop being an ass for a moment and let me finish what I was saying?"

" _Te amo demasiado que perder,_ " Zevran whispered, a sob breaking free from his restraint.

"And yet you were willing to disappear out of my life just a few minutes ago…"

"Only to ease you,  _mi bella_. It would kill me to leave you. However, I would gladly die for you if meant that you would be happy again."

Riel raised her hand and gently wiped at the tears the fell down his cheeks. Zevran took her hand in his and placed a soft kiss against her palm, tasting his tears mixed with her flesh. Such a disgrace to cry in front of her, yet he couldn't hold them back no matter how hard he tried.

"I hate what you did, Zevran. I hate that lied to me. I hate that you and the others went off without me and almost got yourselves killed because of me. But what I learned while fighting that blasted queen, was that I didn't hate  _you_. Not really. I was just angry. And hurt. And confused. But when I saw Morrigan almost die…."

"Wait… Morrigan almost  _died_?"

"Zevran?"

"Yes,  _mi bella_?"

"Shut up and let me talk."

"Yes,  _mi bella_ …."

"As I was saying," Riel continued, giving him a playful glare. "When I saw Morrigan almost die, I realized finally then that I lost too much, and I couldn't lose anymore. I didn't know if you were alive. I didn't know if Leliana was alive either. We left you both to find an antidote for the venom you were infected with, and there was no way to know how long either of you would live. And when Morrigan got hit and went flying, I knew that I could be given all the choices in the world, it wouldn't mean anything if I lost those that I cared most about. What I am trying to say is, I understand why you did what you did. I still don't like it, and am still angry about it. But I at least understand. Because if it meant saving you or Leliana, or Morrigan, I would do the same thing. I would do anything to save you. Even if it meant burning that bitch of queen to a crisp with my magic."

"You-  _mierda_ , sorry…" Zevran quickly apologized, his face blushing softly.

Riel giggled softly as she adjusted herself so she was sitting sideways in his lap. She then placed her head on his shoulder and laced her fingers with his own. "I don't know how I did it, honestly. One minute Morrigan was hit, and the next I felt my body get hotter and hotter. Then it just released, coming out my hands and straight for the queen. It was over so quickly then, the fire leaving the thing's corpse and flooding back to me. Then it was gone, and I felt so  _weak_. Worse than even before. Even blinking almost seemed too hard to do. I guess the others brought me back here to rest then mixed up the antidote for you and Leliana."

The two of them were silent for a while, just sitting together quietly as they went through their own thoughts. Riel remembering the flurry of events that happened since she and Zevran were last together. Zevran lost in his worries over her safety, and how close he was to losing her.

"I'll drink the potion that Morrigan gives to me," Riel finally said, breaking the silence. "Only while we are down here, though. Once we're out from the Deep Roads, I don't want any more drugs unless for some reason it gets bad again. It's better than what Alistair wanted me to drink, as it doesn't make my head as fuzzy. I just don't like the idea of being drugged."

"May I speak,  _mi bella_?"

"Only if you kiss me first," Riel answered, a smile twitching on her lips.

Zevran chuckled as he cupped her face and brought his gaze up to meet his. "As you wish," he replied with a wink. He then laid a gentle yet loving kiss upon her lips, his thumb caressing her cheek. Riel's fingers threaded through his hair, holding him against her. "I love you," he murmured against her lips before kissing her again.

"I love you too, Zevran."


	33. Death Comes for Everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.

 

Riel stepped free from her tent and stretched, her limbs still stiff from the fighting earlier. Talking with Zevran had helped to ease her mind, yet there was still one other person who she needed to see. Riel's eyes scanned the small room quickly, coming to rest finally on the vibrant red hair of the beautiful bardic rogue. Looking behind her, Riel took strength from Zevran's smiling face.

Out of the three of them, Riel would have thought confronting Leliana would have been the easiest. The woman's easy nature and kind heart should have eased Riel's anxiety. However, a knot still built in Riel's stomach as she slowly approached the fire where most everyone sat. Leliana herself was leaning against the wall nearest the flames, her eyes closed and a frown upon her face.

"Leliana?" Riel asked softly, unsure of where to begin.

With Morrigan, events had prevented Riel from focusing too much on her anger at the witch. There was no time to swear and curse out, unleashing her fury at being betrayed and her trust abused. Things needed to be killed and time was running out to save those that Riel most cared about. And in a strange way, Riel and Morrigan's reconciliation fit perfectly for who the two women were. There were no gushy feelings or heated words. Just a calm understanding that passed without even noticing that it had happened. In truth, it was just as their own friendship had come to be. An understanding between two women who shared far more than they understood, or were even able to speak of.

With Zevran, it was anger and passion. Hurt feelings that bled into frustrated tears, leading to the comfortable peace that had always seemed to have existed between the two of them. A mutual fear for the other's safety. A need to protect that went beyond reason or rational thought. Love and respect, pure and returned in equal measure. And even though there were rough edges that needed to be worked on, the love that they shared kept pulling them together again and again until everything was laid bare and exposed.

Riel's friendship with Leliana, however, was something that even if pressed Riel couldn't quite define. There was a closeness to the two of them that beyond flesh. Something easy that never needed to be pushed or demanded. Even though the two of them came from completely different worlds, there was a similar core that they seemed to share.

Leliana, a former bard turned Chantry sister, first came to Riel speaking of visions of her Maker, and how he had wanted her to follow Riel and aid her in the battle against the Darkspawn. Aid she almost immediately granted by helping to defeat a small group of Loghain's thugs hunting down any Grey Wardens who managed to escape Ostagar. However, with her speech about visions and 'destiny', Alistair wasn't the only to think the woman a few slices short of a loaf.

Yet even then, Riel felt some sort of connection with the woman. A sameness that resonated within her chest. They had both been hurt deeply by their pasts, and that wound recognized its kin within the other woman, and formed an immediate bond.

Leliana was the only one who was never harsh with her. No matter how many times Riel snapped in anger, or how often she pushed everyone anyway, Leliana still remained there. Silent and waiting until Riel's current storm passed. And when Riel's anger had cooled, and she sat stewing in her tent, Leliana was always the one to bring her food or water. Leaving it just outside her tent or bringing it to her while Riel practiced with her blades away from camp.

And while the woman would still pester and tease with light hearted words, Leliana was never cruel to Riel. Never pushed her to reveal why she was the way that she was. Never asked her why she awoke screaming at night or hated being touched. She just… accepted it. Accepted her. And perhaps that was what truly broke down the walls that Riel had built around herself when it came to the other woman. Her quiet, kind acceptance, no matter how many times Riel raged or fought. And when her raging was over and her anger spent, Leliana would be there to offer a bowl of food and a story she had once heard.

No questions. No frustrations. No expectations.

In many ways, Riel now mused, Leliana was a lot like Zevran was. The careful holes that Leliana had drilled into Riel's defences allowing for the complete destruction of them by Zevran's love and passion. Where his place in her heart was that of a lover and the seat of her soul, Leliana's was something different yet so similar. Not a lover, but something just as strong and deep.

A sister.

Without any words, Riel slid down the wall next to Leliana until they sat side by side. Giving a nod to Zevran, she smiled he as he left the two of them alone to talk. Or more accurately, just sit. For the longest time, neither woman said anything. Yet Riel knew that Leliana was not sleeping despite her regular breathing and closed eyes. However, the silence was not awkward or uncomfortable. It just… was. As it always had been between the two of them. As if through simply by being close to each other, their souls spoke more than they did.

"I'm still mad at you," Riel finally said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I would be surprised if only if you weren't," Leliana replied, her voice rough not from emotion but from lack of hydration.

More silence, Riel's eyes focused on her hands that fidgeted in her lap, while Leliana's eyes remained closed. Sighing, Riel leaned her head against Leliana's shoulder as images of the woman lying so close to death flashed in her mind. "I thought you were going to die," Riel whispered.

"We thought the same about you."

"I know."

"I heard you smack Zevran," Leliana stated, her grin obvious in her voice.

"He deserved it."

"I know," Leliana replied with a small laugh. "Are you still together?"

"For now."

"And later?"

"He wants something that I can't give him," Riel replied, tears pricking her eyes.

"You are everything he wants. You know this."

"He wants a future." Riel sighed, her mind going back to the time by the lake. "He asked me to marry him."

"And you do not want this?"

Riel went silent, her mind whirling. Truth was, she  _did_  want it. She wanted it all. The happiness and love and enjoyment that others had. A husband. A family. A  _real_  future. However, things like that didn't happen to her. Not just because of what she went through in her past. Not even because of the war she was fighting. It was because at the end of it all, she was….

"I'm a Grey Warden, Leliana."

"And Grey Warden's do not have futures?"

"No… They don't," she replied, a tear falling down her cheek.

"I… see…."

They were quiet again, the two of them with their backs against the cold stone wall behind them. Riel with her head braced against Leliana's shoulder, their long legs side by side and stretched out in front of them. Sighing, Leliana reached out and took Riel's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"How long?" she asked to Riel, her voice guarded.

"I don't know. A few years. The Blight makes it worse."

"Does he know?"

Riel didn't have to ask who  _he_  was. "No."

"You should tell him, Riel."

"It will kill him."

"It will kill him to suddenly lose you, without warning."

"I don't even know if either us will live past the Archdemon, Leliana."

Kardol's words echoed in Riel's mind. ' _Lady, we're dead already.'_  Thinking about it, Riel knew the same was true for her. The taint was a constant thing in her veins. A corruption that she felt constantly, burning inside of her blood as it slowly killed her. There was no cure for the taint. No way to avoid the Calling that came to all Grey Wardens when their minds could no longer fight off that madness that they were slowly driven to. The moment they survived the Joining ritual, they were dead. Their bodies only took a while to realize it.

Time that was even shorter for those unfortunate to live during the times when a Blight ravaged the lands.

"When he asked you to marry him, what did you say?"

"I tried arguing with him," Riel laughed darkly, remembering the day by the lake.

"Of course you did," giggled Leliana. "After that though. When he refused to listen to your protests."

"I… said  _yes_."

Leliana sat up and faced Riel, her eyes shining with their usual sparkle of mischief and optimism. "Then you  _do_  have a future."

"Filled with what? More Darkspawn? Watching me slowly go insane? Following me back down here to this cursed place to see me die in one last fight against these evil things? Because that's what a Warden's death is, Leliana. That's why the dwarves know us. Why they  _respect_  us," Riel spat out the word, hating the irony of it. "Eventually, all Grey Warden's end up back down here. Fighting against the Darkspawn until they can't fight anymore and die in some messed up idea of a ' _glorious_ ' last battle." Riel wiped at the tears forming at her eyes. "How can I do that to him, Leliana?"

"By the Maker…" Leliana gasped, tears shining in her own eyes.

Riel leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes, memories of her dreams coming back to her. Memories of the cruel fate that awaited her if for some unlucky reason she failed to die as she fought against the Darkspawn. "And death is only the  _least_  of could happen to me," she murmured quietly.

"Riel, I am so very sorry…"

"You  _ **can't**_  tell him, Leliana," Riel uttered, her voice going hard as she stared into her friend's eyes.

"Zevran needs to know, Riel! You cannot keep this from him!"

"What are you hiding,  _mi bella_?"

Riel's eyes widened as they shot up to meet Zevran's angry glare. He stood only a few feet from the two women, his arms folded over his chest as a mixture of concern and anger played across his features.  _By the Void! How much had he heard?_

Leliana's eyes darted between the two, agony ripping in her heart over what her friend just told her. Of the darkness and death that awaited her. And most of all for the pain she knew Zevran would soon feel, knowing the same dark secret. Yet silence filled the space between the three of them. Leliana waited for Riel to say something - anything - to start to explain the things that Zevran had every right to know as not just as a man who shared her bed, but a man who deeply loved her.

"Riel! You  _must_!" Leliana stated, her voice desperate.

Quickly Riel's mind raced, trying to find any answer other than the one she dreaded most. Anything other than the pronouncement of her eventual insanity and early death. "Um… L-Leliana just-" Riel stuttered, her eyes moving back and forth between the two of them. "Back with the queen!" she finally blurted out. "Those daggers you bought me! I l-left one of them back with the spider queen we fought!"

"Riel…" Leliana sighed, shaking her head.

"I know how much they cost you, and they were beautiful daggers. However, when Shale carried me back here, they didn't know that I left one my daggers behind, and Leliana was telling me that I should say something. In case… I wanted to go back and get it. So I have two of them again. Because she knows how much I love them."

"My lovely Leliana, would you please excuse our Warden and I?" Zevran asked briskly, a friendly smile on his lips even though his eyes stormed.

"Of-of course!" Leliana gave a quick squeeze to Riel's hand before she carefully stood and left the two elves alone.

Riel watched the bard leave, mentally stringing together a long line of curses as she tried to think of what to say. So she was surprised when instead of saying anything, Zevran held out his hand to her. Taking it, Riel allowed him to pull her up to her feet. Then without words, he led her back over to the tent that they shared. He let her enter first, and once inside the small area, he guided her down to the bedroll.

On the floor beside the mess of furs that they used to cover their bedrolls was a large wooden bowl filled with water. And next to it was a clean cloth, folded neatly. Riel felt as if she should say something, yet no words came to her even as Zevran sat down next to her and reached for the cloth.

His face was stern, his usual smile gone and replaced with a thin line where his lips were. Riel watched as Zevran rinsed the cloth in the water then laid it to the side, before reaching for her leathers and quickly unbuckling them. With sure movements, he removed all of her armor, leaving her in the grey tunic that she usually wore underneath. Then taking the cloth, Zevran began to wash her skin down.

Starting with her arms, one hand gently holding her limb while he used the other hand to wipe the dried blood and dirt from her flesh. His movements were careful and calm, even loving. Yet Riel could tell a storm brewed within him. His eyes refused to meet hers and his jaw was locked, his expression more suited for battle than the gentle bath he was giving her.

From her shoulder down to her fingertips, Zevran wiped her clean, stopping to rinse out the cloth occasionally. Yet he didn't say any a word, even when he switched over to her other arm and wiped that one down as well. Next were her legs and feet, his hands gliding over her skin and bringing a chill despite how warm his touch was.

When both legs were free from offense, Zevran moved the cloth began to wipe down her neck and upper chest. Somewhere in between the two locations something shifted, however. A change in the tense silence that brewed between them. The angry storm in his eyes growing softer and the hard line of his lips forming into a deep frown. And as his mood shifted, so did his handling of her. Where his movements were gentle and careful before, each glide of the cloth along her skin now became a loving caress. The sadness in his eyes and the way he now touched her speaking more than words ever could.

When all that remained was her face, only then did he lift his gaze to hers. Unshed tears shined behind his eyes, a whirlwind of raw emotions reaching out to her through that one simple glance. Speechless, Riel watched him as Zevran wiped down her cheeks and face. The cloth he held wiping at her nose and forehead, around her eyes and ears. The last part he washed was her lips, pausing there to run the pad of his thumb along the pump flesh.

"How much did you hear?" Riel finally asked when the silence became too unbearable.

"Enough," he replied, his tone carrying enough emotion in that one simple word to break her heart all over again.

Zevran rinsed out the cloth one final time before folding it neatly and setting it to the side. He then turned and took hold of the bowl of water, moving to leave the tent with it. However, Riel reached out her hand and grabbed his arm, stopping him. Yet no words would spill forth no matter how badly she wanted to say them. Silently they remained like that, paused in time as an invisible battle of wills took place.

"I have already enough vows to you already,  _mi bella_ ," he stated hoarsely without looking at her. "I promised you that I would never ask more of you than you were willing to give. I have already lost your trust, so I will wait until you are ready."

"I trust you, Zevran…" she cried softly.

He finally lifted his eyes to hers, the honey color darker than she had ever seen it before. "No, you don't,  _mi bella_ ," he smiled sadly. "Or else you would have trusted me with the truth."

Zevran then turned and left the tent, leaving her alone in amongst all their shared things. As few as the items were due to how light they were forced to travel, every item was still a reminder of Zevran and a happier memory. A glint of light caught her attention and Riel reachout, taking whatever it was into her hands.

It was her daggers. The ones Zevran had bought for her, and had used to fight against the spider queen.  _Both_  of them. Freshly cleaned and ready to use once more.

 _Creators, help me!_  Riel cried to herself.  _Mythal, guide me! Please!_

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Zevran knew that he had no right to be upset. Not with his own secrets that he had kept from her. Yet whatever he held back from Riel paled in comparison to the revelation he had overheard her describe to Leliana. Everything that he ever done was to protect her. To make her happy and give her hope.  _Real_  hope. Not unrealistic fantasies that held no truth to them. As hard as their battles were, Zevran had always intended to give her the happy life that she deserved.

A home. Somewhere safe and far away from Darkspawn and evil creatures that would harm her. A family that would love and cherish her the way that she deserved. Dreams that he himself had never thought that he had ever wanted. Or was even possible, considering the life that he lived. Until he met her. Staring up into silver eyes that whispered to him of every impossible dream he ever had as a child.

A life that was still impossible, as it turned out.

Zevran paced towards the fire, his mind a rage of emotions that danced dangerously as he thought about her words.

He hadn't overheard the women's full conversation. When he left the two of them along to speak privately, Zevran had gone to gather some water for his Riel. He knew how she hated having the blood of their enemies dry upon her. Up on the surface, it was common for Riel to keep herself as clean as she could. Sometimes visiting whatever stream or river they camped by several times a day when she could. And when there was no water nearby, she would use whatever she had to at least keep her face and hands clean.

Zevran knew what it was like to forced to live in dirt and sweat, with caked on blood and not be able to or even allowed to clean yourself. For people who existed like that, cleaning sometimes became a pride. Something to cherish after living so long in filth. So Zevran knew that Riel would have hated to be covered as she was then. With blood, dirt, sweat, and other foul things clinging to her skin and being unable to wash it off.

And so while the woman talked, that had become his priority. Seeking out the mage Wynne, then going with her and the golem Shale to the stream close by to gather fresh water. While travelling the short distance with the two of them, Wynne had explained the gist of their fight against the spiders. The few details he had garnered from the women only increasing his anxiety over how close he had come to losing Riel.

When the three of them returned to the camp, the giant Sten had approached Zevran and handed him Riel's lost dagger. He had spotted it when he checked to make sure that spider queen was indeed actually dead. Sticking out of one of its hairy legs, even Sten admitted how impressed he was with how far the blades had cut into the monster's thick skin. Zevran had accepted the blade and went to work cleaning it for his Warden, planning on surprising her with it after her talk with Leliana.

As beautiful and expensive as the daggers were, however, they were not the only thing that Zevran had bought for her while they in Orzammar. Sighing, Zevran walked out of the camp and into the abandoned thaig just beyond it. Centuries ago, where he stood would have been a bustling center of activity. Dwarves going about their day, oblivious to what was coming for them. Now, time and the taint had left the area broken down and nearly destroyed.

The once grand buildings now mostly collapsed, their fine archways and beautiful artwork lost and shattered on the ground below. Crumbling walls and ceilings leaving gaping holes in the once sturdy homes and businesses. And all around were the signs of the spiders and other creatures that now populated areas such as these. Webbing and bones scattered together in the corners, the history of the place Zevran now stood lost forever to the past.

Zevran reached into his side pack and pulled out the dainty chain that he had carried with him since Orzammar. Far too precious to be left behind with the rest of their belongings, he had hidden it away in his side pack and carried it with him always. In his hand, Zevran held a silver linked chain, not too long, but with just enough length to be perfect for what he wanted. However, it was what rested on the chain that held the most significance to him.

Two rings. Well, a ring and an earring to be precise. One silver, one gold. The earring was his. Plain gold, it held no real value other than what it meant to him. It was the only thing that Zevran had left of his mother's. The silver ring on the other hand, that he had bought in back Orzammar along with the chain. A line of lyrium cast in the center of band was it's only adornment, but to him, it was perfect.

Simple. Elegant. Beautiful without overstatement. With a small line of the lyrium surrounded by pure grey silver. Lyrium was the source of magic for mages. Yet unless you looked closely at the band, you could easily mistake the blue line for something far more common. More  _accepted_.

It was everything that his Riel was.

The chain would keep Riel's hand unburdened yet still allow the ring to be worn Fitted around her neck, it would be kept safe while she fought against the creatures and evils that rallied against her. And along side of it, the earring that Zevran had carried with him since he was a child. A piece of him, next to a piece of her.

He had been saving the gift for when they free of the nightmare that were these Deep Roads. A night when he could take her away from the camp and the others who travelled with them. Where he could kiss her and hold her and love her like he had done when it had just been the two of them. It was to be his promise to her, that even while they travelled with others, he was hers alone. That while the others may fight against the Blight, he would always fight  _for her_.

Staring down at it now, Zevran again thought over what bits of the conversation that he had heard. After not only almost losing her, but almost dying himself, Zevran had decided to give it to her that very night. To beg at her feet if need be. However, now he questioned that decision.

Better hearing had always both a blessing and curse of being elven. Picking up on the conversations that others could not, or that they thought were private gave him an edge over his human competitors or marks. And so as Zevran went about getting things ready for his Warden, he hadn't  _exactly_  been eavesdropping on the women. Zevran had fully intended on giving the two women their privacy while he had set things up for his Warden. And yet, his best intentions were never quite enough it seemed.

 _She was dying_.

The realization sparking a faded memory of something deep within his mind. Of a clouded and hazy forest and an old woman who was far more than she seemed. Yet no matter how hard Zevran tried to grasp the memory, the images just faded through his fingertips. However, the stark realization of Riel's confession stayed with him. As cold and sharp as any blade. And just as painful in his heart.

"You didn't know, did you?"

Zevran quickly tucked the necklace away into his side pack before turning to face the woman. Placing a smile on his face, Zevran called forth his Crow training to cover his emotions and replace them instead with the easy charm that had become such a second skin to him.

"Wynne! I have not thanked you properly for no doubt saving both my life, but that of Leliana's as well!" Zevran replied, smiling broadly. "I must admit that my memories of when I was ill are more than a bit fuzzy. However, I shall just have to placate myself with fantasies of you hovering over me, your glorious bosom swaying back and forth as you tended to me…" he stated with a suggestive wink.

"I'm surprised, Zevran. Riel may be a terrible liar, but you are no better than she is."

"Wynne! How you wound me!" Zevran chuckled, keeping his smile in place. "I happen to know that I  _lie_  very well. At least, that is what the women back in Antiva always told me. They also told me I am very good when I am standing, as well."

"You know, it's not easy being old. Although I must admit having a fine young man such as yourself flirt with someone of my age does make me feel young again," Wynne laughed.

"Well, as they say, with age comes  _experience_. And I have always prefered working with others who have experience in the matters at hand."

"Young man, I have more  _experience_  than even I care to remember."

"Oh now you tease me! What a minx you are under that pressed and beautiful Circle robe," Zevran purred, his voice heavy with sexual intent.

"Well, perhaps in my younger years," she laughed, making no attempt to hide her blush. "However, I know that age catches up with me now. The truth of it being simply… well, I'm dying."

The briskness of her statement caught Zevran off guard for a moment, forcing him to drop his guard. For a split moment, true pain and emotion shone from his eyes before it was quickly covered up with his well practiced veneer of flirtatious charm. However, before he could comment, Wynne cut off his no doubt well rehearsed protests of her elderly age.

"Oh don't give me that look, Zevran," Wynne chuckled. "It is no real secret. It is just not something that someone my age likes to talk about," she added with a shrug of her shoulders. "When people are young, death is something so far away. Even for those who risk their lives everyday for various causes sometimes don't realize just how close they walk to the doors of the Fade. Usually only when you get old and have seen long years do I find that people truly grasp what it means to have their death waiting for them," she said with a sigh. "For the young, tomorrow may always bring death. Or it may yet be many, many years in the future. However, for the old such as me, death is always a close thing on our minds."

"As a Crow, we are trained to expect death from everywhere. Lives are finite, and most are not even worth the paper it would take to write out the contract calling for their death."

"And yet, I suspect even Crows sometime think of their futures. Not just days or weeks from now, but years into the future."

"Some," Zevran shrugged, his arms crossing over his chest. "However, I suspect most are too busy watching for the blade to come for their hearts. The only question being whether it will come from the front or the back."

"Death is always just a possibility though, I imagine. Something that might happen, whether today or tomorrow or years from now."

"My lovely Wynne, the only guarantee any of us are given is that death comes for everyone."

"True enough," she chuckled. "I suppose death has just been more on my mind lately than it ever used to be." She sighed as she stepped closer to Zevran. "I know my years are not as vast as they used to be. The Maker has been kind to me, however I know that soon I will join those who I have lost over the years and go to the Maker's side."

"You sound so certain."

"That is because I am," she replied flatly. "Although, even knowing that, it can be difficult to speak about for some of us." Wynne walked past Zevran and looked out towards the ruined thaig. "Nobody likes to admit that they are going to die. Even when they are as old as I am. Even when they know how close they are to dying."

"However, what if a person didn't have to die?" Zevran asked, a crack appearing in his outward defences.

"We  _all_  die Zevran. Isn't that what you said?"

"And yet it was you who said that the young usually didn't have worry about such things as death," he countered. "While still there, it was something in the future. Something that may happen years from now."

"Usually, that is the case. It is a luxury for the young. Or for those who do not suffer under the harsh demands that are sometimes forced upon them due to circumstance."

"And I do not suppose that the young in such situations like speaking of death any more than the elderly."

"Sometimes, even less so," Wynne replied with a sigh. "I  _can_  tell you that if I were forty years younger, and I was told that I only had a few years left to live, I wouldn't want to speak of it any more than I do now. Perhaps even at all."

"What of the ones who cared for you? Surely they would want to know of such a dire fate."

"Sometimes, Zevran, it's easier to pretend to be well than to face the reality of being sick. Especially when there is nothing that can be done to change what you know is coming."

"And are you certain of that? That what is to come is so unchangeable?" Zevran asked, his eyes showing the full weight of his sorrow.

Wynne sighed, her head hanging low before rising to meet his eyes. "The Chant of Light teaches that with the Maker, all things are possible. And it is no secret that our world is filled with magic and wonders, some far too grand to ever be believed. However, some things…."

"There  _ **must**_  be a way!"

"Long ago, men who wished to grasp that which was beyond their reach marched into the very hall of the gods. And while each perhaps had their own intentions and goals, the results were the same."

"And now their mistakes are  **killing**  her!" Zevran hissed, his calm facade gone under the weight of his misery and fear for Riel.

"And yet you still have time, do you not? And time, as the Chant teaches us, can accomplish great and  _miraculous_  things."

Zevran paused, the mage's words hitting him hard. She was right. Whatever awaited his Riel, it would not happen now. While perhaps limited, there was still time to change things. To find a way to do the impossible. To attain the miracle that he needed to save her.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, these old bones of mine are calling for that hard and rather uncomfortable bedroll back at the camp," she stated with a groan. "Oh I miss my bed at the Tower. I should have brought another pillow at least…" Wynne groused quietly to herself as she turned and left Zevran alone.

"So Zevran," he laughed quietly to himself. "How do you go about defeating an ages old curse placed upon all of Thedas by a god?"


	34. Broodmother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Part of chapter is taken from the video game Dragon Age: Origins, during the quest “A Paragon of her kind.” During the part of the quest taking place in the Dead Trenches, the player hears the poem spoken by NPC character Hespith. I have included that poem here, and some minor dialogue. All rights for those parts goes to BioWare.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
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> Translations:
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> None this chapter.

Two days had passed since Riel had defeated the spider queen. At least, she assumed it was days. With no sun to touch her skin or moon to provide her comfort, the only thing that hung above her head were legions of more rock and stone. And with it, it was damn near impossible to keep track of the days and nights that passed. Nights that Riel spent alone in her tent or upon her bedrolls.

Zevran didn't come back to her tent the night he found about what awaited her. Riel had waited for him for hours before exhaustion finally claimed her, her eyes shutting and the nightmares taking over. And when her dreams woke her and again she was alone, Riel felt a bit of her heart break even more. When she left her tent, her eyes were immediately drawn to Zevran as he stood speaking with Oghren over by the maps. His back was to her, and his shoulders were stiff as he spoke in hushed voices that even she couldn't hear with her enhanced hearing.

Even after a quick meal, Zevran had avoided her, seeming to speak with everyone but her. Always in quiet tones and away from wherever she was, Zevran wouldn't even look at her when she tried to gain his attention. The one time that she tried to speak to him, his eyes didn't raise to meet hers, and he quickly excused himself in his typical charming manner before leaving to seek out Shale.

And the days that followed were the exact same. Even after leaving the alcoved room that the dwarf Ruck has shared with them, Zevran avoided her. If a battle found them, he would fight to help her, but his charming words or playful banter were never for her. And while the whispers in Riel's mind were not as loud and her nightmares not as all consuming as they used to be, Morrigan's potion did not silence her torment completely. Not when her main source of comfort remained so distant to her.

So now, deep underground and near to the very heart of the horde, Riel found little she could do except just focus her mind solely on the next task. The next area. The next fight. The next time she could sink her blades into the screaming flesh of Darkspawn, crawler, or stalker. For it was the only thing that still gave her comfort. The only thing that still made sense to her.

Even her own allies were quiet with her. Perhaps it was just being so close to the horde that clipped their tongues, keeping their voices low and barely used. Even the over talkative dwarf seemed to have lost his will for idle chatter as the group crept along the old roads that ran under the surface of Thedas. However, the heavy silence that hung around all of them seemed to pull on Riel harder every time she forced herself from her bedroll each day.

"Hold up! There is something up ahead!" Riel whispered, calling a halt to their silent marching. Her sensitive ears picking up almost a sort of chanting, soft and repetitive that echoed off the walls of the tunnels from deeper ahead.

Pulling her daggers free, Riel motioned for the others to ready themselves in case whatever made the sounds was about as friendly as everything else down in the Deep Roads.

_First day, they come and catch everyone._

"What in the name of the Creators…?" she whispered as she moved quietly along the wall toward the sound.

_Second day, they beat us and eat some for meat._

It was a woman's voice Riel realized, the sound bouncing along the walls and being carried to her ears.

_Third day, the men are all gnawed on again._

_Fourth day, we wait and fear for our fate._

_Fifth day, they return and it's another girl's turn._

Riel turned a corner and finally spotted the source of the voice. In a small room filled with giant pustules of vile and unknown things, a small figure crouched with her head bowed down low.

" _Sixth day, her screams we hear in our dreams. Seventh day, she grew as in her mouth they spew._ "

"Hello?" Riel asked, her weapons still at the ready in case of an attack.

The taint that lived within Riel's blood told her that much like the boy Ruck was, the woman before her now was infected with the same vile corruption she was. The evil inside of her recognizing its own as it did with the Darkspawn that hunted these caverns and tunnels. However, this woman's corruption was far more severe than Riel had ever seen except for those fully made into mindless ghouls. Yet unlike the feral ghouls that Riel had come across in the past, this woman still managed to speak, even if her voice was slightly distorted and empty.

" _Eighth day, we hated as she is violated. Ninth day, she grins and devours her kin,_ " the dwarven woman continued, oblivious to Riel and her companions entering the room.

"By the Ancestors!" Oghren cursed as he got closer, his expression wide with disbelief.

The woman than rose to her feet unsteadily, her brown dress torn and dirty as it hung loosely upon her frame. Her light colored hair was frazzled and caked with mud and blood, and her face carried the dark splotches of those corrupted by the taint. Her clouded eyes remained fixed to the floor even as she lifted her head, her small hands clasped in front of her.

"Hespith?"

"Do you know her, Oghren?" Riel asked, her eyes darting between the two dwarves.

" _Now she does feast, as she's become the beast. Now you lay and wait, for their screams will haunt you in your dreams._ "

Oghren sheathed his hammer and approached the woman, his expression full of disbelief and sorrow. "Hespith! It's me, Oghren!" he called out to her, yet she still remained unfazed, her eyes locked on the floor beneath her. "Damn it woman! Where is Branka?"

Only then did her clouded and colorless eyes lift to Oghren's. "Do not speak that name!" she hissed. "Betrayer!"

"Ah sod it, woman! Do you know where she is or not?"

"Oghren, let me try," Riel stated as she put her blades away and approached the female.

Suddenly Zevran was at her side with his hand gently on her arm. Riel lifted her eyes to his, yet he looked away quickly and released her before stepping away from her again. Confused, she tried to speak to him - to say something to break the silence that existed between them. Yet when she looked up at him and the hard look that existed on his face as he glared at the dwarven woman, Riel lost her nerve. Sighing, Riel approached the dwarf.

"You carry the mark, Dream Friend," Hespith stated flatly when Riel got closer. "Yet you are not kin of mine. How the darkness works to confuse me."

"You sense the taint in me, don't you, Hespith?"

"It is theirs. How they see. How they feel. How they know what to feed on, and what to feed."

"Where are the others of your house, Hespith?" Riel asked, her voice soft as if speaking to a child.

"Here. Gone. Left to rot as they were devoured."

"Do you know what Branka is?"

"My love, my captain. My lady and my consort. The Anvil she now seeks, Dream Friend. House and kin piled high under her obsession. Her crimes far deeper than the roads we travelled."

Riel kneeled down so that she was face to face with the woman, the taint within each other reaching out and forming a bond of recognition. The evil in Riel recognizing and reveling in the evil that it felt within Hespith. "Tell me what happened here, Hespith. Tell me what Branka did."

"They came upon us, through darkness and shadow. Dragging off some while killing others. Those that lived piled together like stones waiting to be used." Hespith's voice then broke as the memories came back to her. "I prayed, Dream Friend. I prayed and pleaded with the Ancestors. That it would not be me. That she would be picked before I was."

"Picked for what?"

"The Ancestors…. They listened…. Oh how they listened in their blessed curse!" Black tears fell from Hespith's eyes as she recounted her memories. Of the horrors that she witnessed. "Layrn. Sweet Laryn. Into her they spewed. Into her they fed. Into her they twisted and turned, until she was twisted and turned into them. And when she was full and large and perfect, she turned on those who were left. Her own husband gnashed in her teeth…"

Riel heard several gasps from behind her as her own stomach threatened to empty. It was her dreams made real. The nightmare of how and what the Darkspawn truly were.

"They call her  _Broodmother._  And through her, our betrayal was complete. That is why they kill us. That is why they hunt us. Why they take us. Why they feed us. Why they  _ **need**_  us. Why they  _ **hate**_  us. However, the greatest tragedy was not that it happened, Dream Friend. No. The crime that cannot be forgiven was that it was not that it simply  _happened_ , but was  **allowed**." Hespith's voice turned hard as she spoke, hatred and anger wrapped tightly around the final word. "Our kin became  _theirs_. Their kin becoming  _ **hers**_.  _Hers_  to test.  _Hers_  to measure. To throw into the trials and traps that so many had failed against before."

"By the Maker!" Wynne gasped from behind her.

"Where is she, Hespith?" Riel asked, forcing her voice to be level despite how sick she felt. "Where is Branka?"

"My love left, Dream Friend. When I couldn't join her. When I couldn't stop her." The woman's colorless eyes finally lifted to Riel's, a tiny spark of light still visible beyond the cloud that covered them. "Forgive me, Dream Friend. For I cannot forgive myself," Hespith whispered before running away, disappearing out of the small room and out of sight.

"Darkspawn are…. They come from…?" Leliana cringed, unable to form the words past the revulsion that filled her.

Riel sighed, hanging her head down. "They come from us. Each kind of them, coming from a kind of us. Humans, elves, dwarves… Even whatever it is that Sten is."

"Maker protect us…." Leliana breathed. "You  _knew_ , didn't you?" Not an accusation. Just a question asked out of shock and surprise. Yet the words still pierced through Riel's chest as if they were blades aimed at her heart and lungs.

"When I had that potion that kept me from waking…. I…" Riel stopped, a deep shudder going through her. In her nightmares, she knew the horror of what Hespith had described. She felt and saw and  _endured_  what the Darkspawn did to those that they captured. "What happened to Layrn... What happens to any woman that these  **things**  take…"

Riel felt herself being lifted up to her feet and swiftly turned around. Then within a heartbeat, familiar arms wrapped tightly around her and crushed her to a chest that she knew almost as well as her own. His familiar scent of sunshine and foreign spices filling her as she sobbed against the memories of her nightmares.

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Zevran didn't know if his embrace would be welcomed, and breathed a sigh of relief when she did not fight against him. He had tried to give Riel the space she needed. To give her time to find out what she wanted and if that included him in any way. Yet when he heard of the things that his careless actions did to her… That the potion he had tricked her into drinking had caused her to withstand such horrors…. He couldn't hold himself back any longer.

The past few days had been torture on him. To be so close to her yet so far away. That first night he had returned to their tent, Zevran had planned on begging for her forgiveness for his brisk attitude earlier. Yet she was already asleep when he joined her. However, when he laid down next to her sleeping body, instead of cuddling next to his body as she normally did, Riel cringed away from him. When he had reached out his hand to her, she actually cried out as if in pain and told him to leave her be.

And so he did.

Each night that they made camp, Zevran would wait until Riel laid down to rest, only then would he pull out his bedroll and find what little rest he could. And each day he would busy himself with either plans to ease her journey or fighting to protect her from whatever creature that attacked him.

When they were not travelling, Zevran had sought out each one of their companions, trying to piece together everything he could of Grey Warden's and their history. What Darkspawn were and how the taint worked. Any rumors or tales that the others could remember hearing about Grey Wardens, as well as anything they knew of previous or former Grey Wardens. Wynne and Oghren had given Zevran a fountain of information, detailing different sides of the story of the Grey Wardens.

Each story ended the same. Each tale, no matter how valliant the Warden or when they lived all finished with their painful and lonely death either against the Archdemon, or among the Darkspawn of the Deep Roads. Wynne speaking of the great deeds and sacrifices that Warden made while they lived. And Oghren telling tales of the Warden's courage and death as they went for one final walk along the Deep Roads.

All of it was interesting and providing Zevran with further insights into the fraction of warriors that his Riel belonged too. And all of it completely useless in helping her to avoid the fate the rest of her kin faced. Either by Archdemon or Darkspawn, every Grey Warden throughout history died young, painfully, and ultimately alone.

Yet Zevran refused to give up. He couldn't. Not when he knew what awaited her. Even if she refused him, he couldn't let her die like that. His hope that when their work was done here and they could finally leave these damnable underground tunnels behind, that his contacts on the surface might be able to find out more for him. After all, to be successful as an assassin, one needed contacts whose expertise wasn't so much battle and killing, but information. And right now, information was all he lacked.

To accomplish any task, one needed only a few things. The desire to do it, the determination to see it through to the end, and the information required to do so. The desire and determination Zevran had plenty of. No matter what it took, Zevran would find a way to do so. All he needed was the information telling him what to do.

And each day that he spent away from his Riel only deepened his resolve to save her. The skills he had gained as an assassin acting as both a curse and blessing as he watched over Riel without her knowing. Even with Morrigan's potion, Zevran saw her falter under the weight that she carried. The sadness she existed in. He would see each time that she pretended to smile or wiped away her tears. And it killed him. However, he would not force himself or his wishes upon her again.

Although now, with Hespith's dark revelation out in the open and a glimpse into the horrors his actions had caused her, Zevran hated himself even more. To know that despite his well intentions, he had subjected to her even more pain and torture…. Could he ever do right by her? Could any of his decisions not lead to causing her further pain?

And while Zevran knew that she no longer wanted his comfort, his selfish heart demanded that he give it to her anyway. To break down and hold onto her while she cried, even if when she was through this current sadness, she would most likely hate him even more. Right now….

Right now he held on to her, giving her the only thing he could.

When the last of her sobs died and Riel finally grew quiet, she pulled from him and Zevran knew that his chance was over. Watching her as she dried her tears on the back of her hands, she avoided his gaze as she looked at the others who still stood several feet away. With the strength of a hardened warrior, Riel met each one their companions in the eye before quietly leaving the room and leading them on. All of them except for Zevran, that is.

Zevran looked over to Leliana, seeing the hurt and pain in her eyes that mimicked so closely to his own. A pain of wanting to aid her, yet being useless to do so. And the hurt of knowing that in their own way, their actions had caused Riel's suffering to grow even more.

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Laryn.

Broodmother.

That which now birthed the very evil that had turned her into what she now was. Whoever the former dwarf was previously was now lost in the twisted abomination that she had become. A writhing pink blob of seeping corruption, with massive tentacles that whipped out and grabbed at foes and Darkspawn alike. Laryn's corrupted form had grown to be three times the size of an ogre, with a bald head and mandibles on her jaws that screamed and clicked in anger.

Anger caused by the intruders that had crept into her nest and now attacked her birthed corruption as well as herself. Lashing out with her tentacles, the Broodmother attacked and swatted back Riel and the others. Not seeming to care if one of her attacks caught a Darkspawn by mistake, the Broodmother was feral in her actions. Whipping a tentacle at Riel, the woman barely missed being knocked back by its powerful swing.

Facing off against Darkspawn and the Broodmother, Riel was determined to end the poor creature's suffering. Even as the ground she walked on seemed to move on its own, and slime covered tentacles seemed to come from every which way, Riel fought with a fury that was quickly becoming as close to her heart as her love for Zevran was. Anger and hatred for the creatures that did such an abominable thing mixed with her sorrow and pity for the woman that Laryn used to be.

"Leliana! Use your arrows to pin those tentacles!" Riel screamed as she cut down another Darkspawn. "Sten! Oghren! Keep these bastards off of me!" Ducking down to escape the swipe of a Shrieks's bladed claws, Riel almost knocked Zevran into the swinging arc of a hurlock's sword. "Zevran!" she cried out, fear catching in throat.

"Focus on the enemies! Not me!" he snapped out angrily as he turned to slice into the hurlock.

Riel bit back her hurt and forced it away from her mind. He was right, even though his words stung. Bringing her mind into focus, Riel saw an opening and dashed forward, heading towards where Oghren and Shale fought side by side against couple of hurlock alphas. A higher class than the average ones, alphas were highly skilled in melee combat and served as commanders in the Darkspawn armies. And true to their status, they battled against both dwarf and golem with deadly precision, backing the dwarf into a corner against the far wall.

Sensing a weakness in the attacking alpha, Riel launched herself at the creature's back and drove one of her daggers into the thing's shoulder. It bellowed in pain, quickly shifting itself around to try and dislodged both Riel and her dagger. However Riel held on, bringing her other dagger up and plunging in into the thing's neck.

The alpha continued to shake back and forth violently even as it screamed out in a wordless curse. Finally it began to slow, the dark liquid of its blood spewing forth and covering Riel's hands and daggers. Then with a last lurch, the alpha collapsed down to the ground and Riel rolled free. She then reached down and picked up the alpha's two handed sword before tossing to the dwarf.

"Think you can wield that in mid air, dwarf?" she asked with a dark laugh.

"Just what are you planning, elf?" Oghren gruffed as he caught the blade in his hand.

"Shale! Time to see how well dwarves can fly!" Riel called out to the golem before running headlong towards the Broodmother.

"I am to take up dwarf tossing now, am I?" Shale replied, picking up Oghren easily with just single stone hand.

"Put me down you sodding pile of regurgitated piss stones!"

"Hey Laryn! You ugly, stone addled Darkspawn whore! Come at me!" Riel screamed out as she slashed at a pair of tentacles close to the Broodmother's main body. "I know you can hear me in that swollen head, you Voidforsaken bitch! Come and see if you like the taste of Warden blood as much you liked that of your husband's!"

The Broodmother bellowed in anger as it focused its attacks on Riel. Launching several tentacles at her, Riel had to twist and leap her body in various ways to avoid being hit. She then sliced out with her blade, cutting a tentacle clean in two before needing to roll to avoid another swipe. A well timed step to the side and a flick of her wrist, and Riel had sliced off another whipping tentacle.

"What in the name of the Void are you waiting for you shaved down pile of rocks?!  **Toss him!** " Riel screamed out just before having the air knocked out of her. Flying backwards several feet, Riel cursed out as pain exploded in her chest. Pulling herself up, she knew immediately that several of her ribs were probably broken.

Just then Riel heard the Broodmother scream out in pain. Its tentacles waving frantically about, the creature's screams echoing off the walls for what seemed like an eternity before it finally went silent. Looking up, Riel smiled to herself as she saw Oghren pulling his sword out of the now dead Broodmother's skull.

"Just what do you think you were doing, Riel?" Zevran cursed out as he knelt by her side.

"I was- Zevran  **move**!" Riel screamed, pushing Zevran to the side just as a shriek materialized out of the shadows and plunged its large claw down where Zevran's chest used to be a moment before. Riel kicked out her legs, using the momentum of the force to snap the long claw in two. Then she grabbed hold of the broken claw and shoved it up under the shriek's jaw and into its brain, killing it. "Yell at me later," she hissed at Zevran as she forced herself to stand despite the agony in her chest. "Right now, there is still more things to kill."

Zevran looked up her in both shock and anger, unable to decide to be angry at her recklessness, or be grateful for her saving his life. Instead he just followed her orders, focusing again on the remaining Darkspawn that still attacked. The image of her taunting the Broodmother seared into his mind even as he worked with the others to kill every last one of the corrupted bastards that swarmed them.

 _Was she insane? Wanting to die?_  he cursed to himself as the last genlock fell under the Sten's blade. Taking a quick look to make sure that no more threatened them, Zevran sheathed his blade and quickly marched over to Wynne and took her by the arm. He then all but dragged the old woman over to where Riel leaned her back against the wall of the cavern, her eyes closed and her hand covering her chest.

"Heal her!" Zevran snapped, pushing Wynne towards Riel.

" _Excuse_  me?" Wynne snapped back, yanking her arm free from Zevran's grasp and piercing him with a glare.

"That is unless you  _want_  to kill yourself?!" Zevran spat to Riel, the verbal attack causing Riel's eyes to open slightly and narrow at him.

"What has gotten into you, Zevran?" hissed Wynne.

"I knew what I was doing, Zevran," Riel replied, her breathing labored as she breathed through the pain in her chest.

"By the gods, Riel! You taunted that thing into attacking you!"

Riel closed her eyes again, ignoring Zevran's outburst. Her chest hurt too much to care about his yelling. After she had saved Zevran from the shriek, she had done her best to continue fighting, but soon found herself leaning against the wall she was now. The pain in her chest tearing away the air in her lungs despite how carefully she tried to breathe.

"I saw you get hit. Do you need healing?"

Riel cracked her eyes open at the sound of Wynne's calm voice. The question almost made Riel laugh, yet she squashed the impulse quickly before she ended up hurting herself worse. "Just a bit probably…" Riel smiled half heartedly.

Wynne lifted her hand and placed over top of the one on Riel's chest. A soft blue light emitted then, bringing with it the first deep breath that Riel had been able to make since she got hit. Breathing in a sigh of relief, Riel opened her eyes and looked at the older mage before shifting her eyes over to Zevran. He was glowering, his eyes filled with anger as he looked at her.

"Better?" Wynne asked as she removed her hand.

"Much, thank you," smiled Riel as she absently rubbed the spot on her chest briefly before pushing herself off of the wall. "Let's see what these ugly things have on them. From what the notes that we found said, we should be getting close to where Branka took her house. So let's do a search then find a place to camp for the night."

"Riel, we must talk about this!" Zevran stated as he stepped in front of her.

"There is nothing really to talk about, Zevran. If Oghren was going to have a chance getting past those tentacles and strike directly at that thing, then it needed be distracted enough to create an opening. I provided that."

"Why  _you_ , though? Why not another?"

"Let's just say that I know that no matter how twisted and corrupted that thing was, I  _knew_  some part of Laryn still existed in there. Not much. Not enough to fight against the evil that turned it into what it was. But enough to get pissed off at someone bringing up the last and worst real memory that it still possessed."

When Zevran just continued to glare at her, his confusion mixing with his anger, Riel sighed and rubbed at the bridge of her nose while trying to think of another way to explain. With a heavy sigh, Riel let her own memories come back to her. The thoughts and images from her nightmares that plagued her every night.

With a look of sadness in her eyes, Riel turned her head and looked upon the corpse of the Broodmother that used to be Laryn. "When you're twisted into something like  _that_ , everything turns into anger. Fear, hope, joy, sadness, love… When you are turned, all that is left is anger. However, for a short period of time after the transformation, a small sliver of what they used to be remains. And that small shred…. that is nothing but pain, and regret. A dying mind trapped in a cage of the worst type of nightmare. Only this time, there is  _no_  waking up." Riel paused, her thoughts lost for a moment in her memories. "I used that against her. I used Laryn's last memory - of killing her husband - to make her focus on me instead of protecting herself."

"How do you know that was her last memory?" he asked her.

"Because," Riel sniffed before meeting Zevran's eyes. "I  _was_  Laryn. And my last memory was of  _you_." Riel turned her back to Zevran and walked towards the bodies of the Darkspawn that littered the ground around them. "Come on! Let's get this over with and find some place to set up camp!"

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Later that evening Riel sat in front of the fire, eating her rationed dried meat. Not that she was particularly hungry. However Leliana had already pestered her earlier about not eating enough and she had nothing else to do with her hands. Her equipment was cleaned and repaired. The items they had found and carried with them were sorted. And their route from that point was pretty straight forward.

After the spider queen fight, the others had found notes that the crawlers had gathered from Branka's old camp. They gave a pretty detailed layout of where the woman had searched and where she was headed next. And it was those directions that they were following when they came across Hespith and what remained of Laryn earlier. The next part of the journey was also detailed in the notes they had found, basically providing a trail that would hopefully lead straight to Branka.

So with everything done and her turn at watch still not for a while, Riel had nothing to do except stew in her own thoughts as she sat and stared into the fire. Something that was exactly the last thing that she wanted to do.

"Would you mind helping me with my arrows?"

Riel looked up and forced a smile on her face when she saw Leliana standing next to her. "Of course! Although I don't why you always ask me. Honestly I think I am the reason why do many of your arrows break to begin with!"

"You are better than you think, Riel," Leliana laughed as she sat down and laid out her bundle. "Besides, I like the company. You never tire of my stories no matter how many times I tell them."

"I like your stories, Lei," Riel smiled back. "They take my mind off the stuff in my own head."

"Stuff like a certain blonde elf?" she asked, keeping her eyes on the sorting of her arrows in front of her.

Riel sighed as she took a small bundle and set to work repairing them. They sat in silence for a few minutes while Riel tried to form the words she wanted to say. "I don't want to talk about him," she said bitterly, tossing a useless piece of wood into the fire.

"See, I think that you do."

"Even if I  _did_  want to talk about him, there is nothing left to say."

"I have seen how you are together, you know. How you have changed since he joined us," she said with a sly smile. "You may have nothing to say about him to me, but perhaps there is some things that you must say to each other?"

"I  _tried_  talking to him Leliana. Instead he just avoided me, going to talk with Wynne or Oghren."

"And here I thought you were more stubborn than that."

Riel rolled her eyes as her fingers attached the arrow head to the shaft. "There is stubborn and there is chasing something that isn't there anymore."

"And what do you think is no longer there?"

Riel felt the tears at her eyes and hated them. Hated how quickly she could be reduced to a crying mess lately, no matter how hard she fought against it. "He doesn't love me anymore," she finally stated, her eyes clouding despite her efforts.

"He does so!" Leliana said quickly. Although Riel just shrugged, dismissing her positivity.

"He hasn't come to me since he overheard us talking that day, Lei. He avoids me now, sleeping away from where I am and barely ever saying two words to me anymore. Then you saw him after we fought that Broodmother. He was  _furious_  at me!"

"He was worried about you."

"Yeah well, hard to tell that when he was yelling at me."

They were silent again for a few moments, each woman gathering their thoughts. "He still watches you, you know."

"Pfft… He does not," Riel said bitterly. "Every time I look to him, he is always busy doing something. Talking to the others or doing something else  _far away_ from me. If he does catch me looking at him, he quickly looks away again."

"He is watching you now," Leliana smiled coyly.

Riel quickly looked over to where he stood next to Morrigan, both of them talking in hushed tones. Yet his eyes were not on Riel. He was looking at Morrigan as she said something to him, making him frown. Her heart hurting, Riel turned back to the arrows in her lap.

"No, he isn't."

Leliana sighed, placing another arrow in pile by her feet. "He loves you, Riel. He just doesn't know  _how_  to love you."

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"Love never does…" Leliana smiled in that strange knowing way that she often did.

"Then what do you suggest I do?"

"Learn  _how_  to love  _him_."

"Again… Not making sense! I already  _do_  love him," Riel sighed heavily.

"Love is never easy, Riel.  _Falling_  in love can be easy.  _Being_  in love is what is hard. Especially for two people who haven't known a lot of love in their past." The two women were silent again for a few minutes, Riel's mind sorting through what Leliana said. "Do you trust him?" Leliana asked, breaking the silence.

"Of course I do," Riel stated quickly. "Well, mostly. I think," she added after a short pause. "Ugh… I don't know!" Riel finally said with a scowl.

"Don't you think that is rather important?"

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"I am beginning to see the appeal of having that fool Alistair around," quipped Morrigan as she glared at Zevran.

"Oh? Now that I find hard to believe," Zevran chuckled darkly.

"For all of his inanity, he kept  _you_  looking like the greater fool."

Now Zevran returned the witch's glare. "Now what I have done to deserve such a grievous insult, my lovely Morrigan?"

"You think I am blind as well as daft? It has been two nights since we rescued you and Leliana from the venom of those spiders. And not one have you spent at her side."

" _She_  doesn't wish me at her side, Morrigan. And I will  **not**  be going against her wishes  _again_ ," he snapped back, folding his arms over his chest.

"'Twould indeed surprise me if that were the case, and yet if it were, 'twould be clear that even  _she_  doesn't know what she wants."

"Careful of your tone, Morrigan," Zevran lightly snapped. "She may no longer see me fit to stand by her side, however I will still protect our lovely Warden. I won't have you insult her, even if she does call you a friend."

"And this is why I call you a fool! Clearly you care for the woman. And clearly she cares for you. And yet here you stand, conversing with me in hushed chatter while she sits by the fire with tears in her eyes!"

Zevran hung his head as he sighed. There was no way to easily explain the difficulties he was having with Riel. This wasn't even what he had intended to speak with her about anyway when he sought her out. However, like most of his conversations with the others lately, everything always drew back to how things were between him and Riel.

Even the giant had insulted him over the strange situation Zevran now found himself in with Riel!

"Riel deserves a man who doesn't make her cry. And I think it is obvious by now that I am not that man," he stated, his tone a mixture of regret and anger.

"Oh what rubbish!" Morrigan replied, throwing up her hands before piercing him with a glare. "Such a man does not exist, as you and I both know well."

"And what would you know of it, Morrigan?"

"I may not see entanglements such as love as others do, elf, however I do understand happiness. And that is one thing that you have indeed given her."

"And what if she deserves more than that? More than just simple happiness?" he bit back, his eyes narrowing on the woman. "What Riel deserves is a real life, away from all this pain and nightmares!"

"I agree! Which is why it perplexes me that you are standing here arguing with me instead of being over there with her!"

"Because I cannot give that to her!"

"This is what this is about then? Why you have come asking about my mother's grimoire? That it would contain some secret to prolong her life?"

"The spell you used to ease her nightmares came from there, did it not?"

"The potion I used was not something specific to the taint itself, assassin. 'Twas an old protection against blood magic and the control over one's mind."

"You yourself said that the book was old. Perhaps there is still something in it-"

"What you require I do not have, elf," Morrigan interrupted, her tone harsh. However with a sigh she continued onward. " _If_  I were to find such a thing, 'twould not be while here, trapped under this rock and stone."

"Then you  _do_  know of something, then?"

"Perhaps…" Morrigan replied, her voice hedged. "However, you must realize that what you seek is of no small consequence. A cure for what ails Riel is not as simple as finding the appropriate herbs and mixing them together into a poultice or potion."

"You think I do not know that? Yet still I must try. I cannot just sit back and watch her die Morrigan!"

"When we are free from this place, come to me then," she sighed. "I shall….. do what I can. I can promise no more."

"That is all I can ask. Thank you."

"Do not thank me, Zevran. Not yet," Morrigan replied, her expression curiously pained. "Far too much may happen between when - or even  _if_  - I will be able to render unto you my aid."


	35. The Last Trap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Parts of this chapter are taken from the dialogue with Branka and with Caridin during the video game Dragon Age Origins. During the section of the quest "A Paragon of her own Kind", the dialogue takes place at the Anvil of the Void between the player character and either Branka or Caridin.
> 
> Those dialogue choices belong to BioWare, the creators of the video game.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.

_So this was where the legendary Anvil of the Void was..._ Riel mused to herself as she took in the immense open area in front of them. They had been following Branka's notes for days now, and they have led here, to this place. So many miles deep underground that lava bubbled and boiled, running like a rivers along the side of rooms or at the bottoms of steep cliffs. The light that the fiery liquid gave off casted an array of moving shadows on everything, seeming to bring even the rocks and walls to life as the lava churned and flowed along.

The anvil itself was supposedly a magical item of great power, crafted by the ancient dwarven smith Caridin. With its power, golems of both rock and metal could be fashioned and controlled with magical rods to do their wielder's every bidding. At one point in dwarven history, legions of these magical golems were used by the dwarves to battle against the Darkspawn tide to some success. Through various victories, the dwarves managed to push back against the rising Darkspawn tide, and were even able to temporarily regain lost territory. However, at some point the anvil was lost, and with it the ability to create new golems. Coupled with the disappearance of Caridin himself around the same time, the victories that the dwarves had so long enjoyed began to dwindle. Without new golems to replace the ones destroyed or damaged, soon everything that the dwarven people had gained was again lost to the ever increasing Darkspawn horde.

At least, that was how the stories went. Passed on through the dwarves records, and kept by specially trained dwarven scholars by the name of the Shaperate. He and others recorded everything related to dwarven life in the Memories - the written history of the dwarven peoples going back for ages. Births, deaths, and everything in between was recorded in the Memories. Well, everything that they were able to salvage after losing so much to the Darkspawn menace that had plagued the dwarven peoples for over a thousand years.

Their lost history and the ever increasing threat of the Darkspawn were actually the very basis for why Branka and her house descended into the Deep Roads over two years ago. Their mission - to find Caridin's lost anvil and rebuild a massive golem army to once again do battle against the horde that had decimated their people. To finally regain and permanently take back everything they had lost over the centuries.

Branka was a smith caste woman who was married to Oghren of the warrior caste. At one point, she was elevated to status of Paragon - a highly respected and envied position amongst the dwarven people - due to her invention of a new smokeless coal. Paragons became a form of a living god to the people, 'chosen' by their ancestors and venerated by the whole of the dwarves for their wisdom, insight, and abilities. Perhaps that was why Branka thought that she could do what no other dwarf had done and manage to find such a priceless relic of dwarven history and importance. However, even the grandest dreams can end badly. Hespith and Laryn were evidence enough of that.

However flawed the woman was though, Riel needed Branka to gain the dwarven army she needed to fight against the Blight that continued to rage on the surface above them. And this cursed place, miles and miles under the surface, was where Branka's notes had led them to. Anvil or not, Riel was taking the Voidforsaken woman back with her, even if she had to drag her kicking and screaming through all of the Deep Roads herself!

"Branka should be somewhere around here, Warden," Oghren stated, hefting his hammer to his shoulder as they walked.

"Oghren…. I should have known…."

Riel looked up at the sound of a woman's voice, her eyes finding a female dwarf standing up high on rock wall several feet in the distance. With greasy brown hair pulled back from her face by the ties behind her head, pinched facial features and the well worn armor that she wore, the woman looked more like a mad hermit than a noble woman of standing.

"Well shave my back and call me an elf! Branka! It  **is**  you!" Oghren laughed joyfully.

"Let me be blunt with you. After all this time, my tolerance for social graces is fairly limited. That doesn't bother you, I hope?" the woman replied in a caustic manner.

"You are Branka, noble woman of Orzammar?" Riel asked cautiously, the warnings spoken of by Hespith still vivid in her mind.

"I am." Branka was silent for a moment as her eyes roamed over Riel, appraising her. "And who might you be? Some sniveling mercenary hired by Oghren here to take me back?"

"Mind yer manners woman! This here is a Grey Warden!" Oghren replied.

"A Warden, huh? Something must have happened back in Orzammar then. Your kind normally do not travel this far into the Deep Roads, and never in so many numbers." Branka began to pace along the wall, her eyes locked on Riel. "Let me guess. A Blight is happening and the Grey Wardens have come begging for the dwarves help against it. Never mind how much we have lost on a constant basis fighting the Darkspawn. No, your kind comes asking for more because suddenly it is  _ **your**_  land that is now in danger."

" _Every_  land is threatened by a Blight, Branka," Riel spat out, annoyed at the other woman's dismissive tone.

"Every  _surface_  land, perhaps. A Blight is the only time we dwarves get a measure of peace in our constant battle!" Branka exclaimed before casting another seething gaze upon Riel. "However, you wouldn't be all the way down here looking for me unless something was preventing you from gaining the dwarven blood and bone you required for your army. What is it then? Is Endrin dead? Seems like the most likely scenario. He was getting old when we left. And now the Assembly is deadlocked in deciding his successor? Trian and his brothers are no longer alive as well?"

"Only Bhelen is left. The other two have died. Harrowmont contests Bhelen's right to rule," explained Riel, her tone hard as her patience thinned.

"An idiot prince and even bigger idiot advisor. Perfect."

"We need you come back to end the deadlock."

"Of course you do," Branka replied snidely to Riel. "You have wasted your time then, Grey Warden. I care not for the trivial matters of deshyr lords or the passing worries of the surface world. What I am after is something worth far more than anything you can imagine! With the anvil in my possession, the dwarven people will no longer need to cower behind their reinforced doors, fearing the Darkspawn that have taken so much from us!"

"Are ya outta yer mind, woman? Whatta bout all the people of yer house?"

"In all things of importance, sacrifices  **must**  be made. They pledged their lives to me, to serve me and my endeavours. And they died doing so. The paths here have not always been clear, or free of danger. Their lives were used to get me this far, as was their duty. And with their sacrifices, many more lives will be saved once I have the anvil in my possession."

"You can't go around risking people's lives like that! How could you do such a thing?!" Riel cursed out, her face a mask a anger and horror.

"Branka! This is madness! How could ya think sacrificing yer own people was worth it?"

"I  _am_  your paragon," Branka said with a short bow of her head.

"Is that what you told Hespith, Branka?"

Branka pinned Riel with a glare. "She knew what this was about!  **She**  betrayed  _me_! Now I tire of your rambling! The anvil is  _so_ close, I can  _feel_  it! If you wish my aid in placing a crown on the next thick skulled moron in line, then you will do what my house and the Darkspawn they gave to me could not! You will endure Caridin's trials and grant me access to the anvil!" Branka called out before jumping down the other side of the wall and disappearing.

"By the stone! What has gotten in ta her?" exclaimed Oghren, shaking his head.

"Oghren, I need to know you can handle this," Riel replied stiffly.

"What's that supposed ta mean?"

"It means that your wife has lost her senses, dwarf!" Morrigan hissed out in response. "And you need to be prepared to deal with it!"

"Look Warden, just let me talk ta her, Warden. When I married Branka, she was the type of woman ya could talk ta for five minutes and just be amazed at her brilliance! There has got ta be a way to get through ta her!"

Riel rubbed at her temples, fighting the pain that throbbed there.  _So much for the easy way…_  she inwardly grumbled. "Fine. We'll catch up with Branka and get this sorted out."

"If there are to be traps ahead, then it would probably be best if Zevran and I take point."

Riel looked over to Leliana and frowned even deeper. She didn't like the idea of putting the two of them in danger, even if they were the most skilled at detecting and disarming traps. No matter how much Riel tried, she couldn't seem to match either of their innate skills. Simple locks she could sometimes pick, but that was the extent of her abilities. To Riel, it was just one more of her failures as a rogue that plagued her mind.

"I don't like-" Riel started before being cut of by Zevran.

"Leliana is right. Both of us are far better trained at disarming traps."

Riel lowered her eyes to the ground, missing Leliana's wince at Zevran's words. "You're right," she said after a moment. "You two will take point, however I want Shale close by in case of attack. Sten, Oghren and Fen will stay by Wynne and Morrigan, guarding them."

"And what of you, Riel?" Zevran asked.

Riel fixed a fake smile to her lips and met his questioning eyes. "I will do as I always do," was all she said before turning and walking away.

"Arrows, Zevran…  _Arrows_ …." Leliana huffed before walking after Riel.

"I don't understand…"

"Perhaps she meant to stick one in that foolish head of yours…" groused Morrigan as she walked by.

 _What have I done now?_  Zevran thought to himself.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

The tests and trials that followed were brutal. Designed by the old Paragon Caridin to keep people away from the anvil, they tested every aspect of one's character. Many traps were designed so skillfully to practically go unnoticed by either Leliana or Zevran's well trained eyes. Trials designed to wear down your physical stamina through poisoned rooms filled with rampaging golems. There were also traps to test their agility, their perception, or their dexterity. To pass each trial, a strong enough grasp of mental acuity was also needed to decipher each deadly trap before the traps ended up killing you.

The last trial found Riel and her group in a dark room containing several anvils surrounds a massive stone multi-faced head in the center of the room. As soon as the group entered the room, ghostly dwarven apparitions emerged from the shadows, swinging their ghosted weapons with the power of a charging bronto. And for each one that they managed to defeat, another came forward from the shadows beyond. The trick laid in hitting each anvil in a particular order, while avoiding the ceaseless blows from the apparitions at the same time.

By the time that Riel and others managed to kill the last apparition by hitting the anvils in the correct order, Riel was nursing more than just her sore head. She also had a few new scars to add to her ever growing list of blemishes and marks on her body. The largest one going from her left ear, down across her throat, and reaching to her collarbone. Caused by the swinging blade of an apparition, Riel wasn't able to dodge in time to miss the blow. Now only a pink line was all that was left of the wound, now sealed by Wynne's healing magics.

In truth, she probably  _could_  have escaped the blade if she hadn't been so concerned with slicing the apparition that was aiming its attack at Zevran. While he was focused on another hammer wielding apparition in front of him, Riel had spotted the ghostly form try to strike at Zevran from behind. Riel had leaped on the thing, stabbing her dagger through its throat before being thrown backwards. She had managed to control the momentum and stay standing, however she wasn't quick enough to dodge an incoming attack from her side, the slice catching her off guard at just the wrong moment.

The blade had cut through a thick vein in Riel's neck and blood began to spurt everywhere. Quickly she dropped one of her blades and used the free hand to cover the wound. Still her blood gushed forth, and her vision began to darken. Yet still through raw determination she managed to stab the one that struck her through it's eye before collapsing down to the ground.

Zevran was there by her side in a heartbeat, his face contorted with fear and worry as his hands covered her own at her neck. A moment later Wynne was there, Riel's fading eyesight barely catching a glimpse of the woman before Riel felt the soothing feel of magic flowing into her and stitching up the wound. With the blood flow stopped, Riel's dizzy spell lessened and her vision started to come back, yet the pain of the encounter persisted even after the last apparition was defeated and the way to the next area was made available.

Both Leliana and Zevran had tried to convince Riel to stop for a while, However even if she could deal with the further delay, there was no safe place where they currently were. The tunnels and halls filled with Darkspawn and other foul things, not mention the traps and hidden dangers that existed everywhere they turned. There just simply was no place Riel could see as safe enough, even for just a moment. Even if her ears now rung and her vision kept blurring, they had to keep moving forward. It was the only way she could keep them all alive.

Pausing at the end of a long hall, Riel could tell that Zevran was angry at her again, however she was beginning to expect that now. Whatever decision she made, it never seemed good enough for him. Whether to go or to stay. Whether to let one person lead or another. Which switch to pull, which raised tablet to step on, which anvil to hit… None of her answers were ever right. And it all just seemed to make him even more angry at her.

Now standing next to a door leading to the next area, it was all Riel could do to keep her tears away and her body upright. Against her will, her body sagged against the wall that she was leaning against, while a dull buzz filling her mind as she tried to summon the strength that she needed to keep continuing on.

"Riel, you need to rest…"

Zevran's calm voice pierced through the haze in her mind, yet Riel kept her eyes closed as he spoke to her. She just didn't want to see him look at her as if he were disappointed in her again. Not right now. In truth, never again. However, she would settle for just not having to deal with yet another lecture from him.

"Riel…"

"Riel, we worry about you," Leliana's voice chimed, cutting off Zevran. " **All**  of us."

With her eyes still closed, Riel didn't see the pointed look that Leliana gave to Zevran when she said that last bit. She also didn't catch the look of pained sorrow in Zevran's eyes that he returned the bard's gaze. Riel just remained still against the wall, her eyes closed as she measured each painful breath against the beating of her ragged heart.

"Oh, Maker's balls!" Leliana cursed out, succeeding in getting Riel to open her eyes and peg her with a questioning look. "Zevran, you are an idiot!"

"What?" he exclaimed in response.

"And so are you, Riel!" Leliana added, moving her piercing glare over to Riel.

"What did  _I_  do?"

"Zevran, do you love her?" Leliana demanded, getting a shocked look from both elves.

"I-uh… I don't think-" he stammered.

"Stop bloody thinking already! Do you  _love_  her?!"

Zevran hardened his gaze on the bard, his honeyed eyes piercing a wicked glare at her.

"Leliana, he doesn't-"

"Yes, I love her!" Zevran bit out, cutting off Riel.

Riel looked at Zevran, her mouth agape as surprise filled her.  _He still loves me?_  she thought, her mind whirling. "Y-you… you l-love me?" she whispered, incredulous. Zevran closed his eyes and hung his head, cursing himself mentally. "Zevran…"

Zevran lifted his eyes up to meet Riel's, feelings he couldn't express getting caught in his throat as he tried to find the right words. "I told you,  _mi bella_. I will  _always_  love you," he said finally, his voice soft and missing the hardness that he had normally used with her over these past few days. "I am just not very good at it," he added with a sad smile. "However, I will respect your choice. You do not need to worry."

"M-my  _choice_? What  _choice_?"

Zevran shifted his stance and looked around at the others who filled the narrow passageway they were in. He didn't like discussing such private things with so many witnesses, especially when all it was his own shame and disgrace out on display for their eyes and ears to witness.

"Out with it Zevran!" Leliana hissed, her usual light tone gone under the hardness she now expressed.

"This is not the place, Leliana!" Zevran hissed back.

"Zevran….  _please…_ " pleaded Riel, her eyes filling with tears.

Her soft voice begging broke Zevran, his shoulders slumping as he closed his eyes and visibly shook from inner turmoil. Finally he lifted his face and looked at her, tears glistening in his own eyes.

"I know I have been handling this poorly, Riel. I thought that I could handle your rejection. That I could still fight by your side even though you no longer wanted me. It has been killing me, however. To see you in pain and not be able to comfort you. To see you put yourself in danger and not be able to protect you. I have been unfair to you, placing my anger on you when it was myself who I am truly angry at."

"Why are you angry at yourself?" she asked, confused.

"I know that I am undeserving of you. That has never been a question. My anger is at myself, hoping that I someday could be." Zevran shuddered, his deep frown turning up into a sad smile as he looked at Riel. "Despite my troubles, I will still fight for you, have no worry. I shall endeavor to better leash my emotions, however. You do not deserve my self pity or my anger, and so I will do better at withholding them. However, if I ever do offend you so greatly that you wish me gone, I will go. I will not make you tolerate my presence, even though you are far too kind for already doing so."

"Zevran, I-"

"Why are you standing around?!" Branka's shrill voice called out, interrupting Riel. The whole group of companions looked back down the hall to see the enraged dwarf advancing on them, her face set in a deep grimace. "The anvil should be right through that door!"

"Branka? What are ya doing here?" Oghren asked, shocked by her sudden appearence.

"If you will not go forward, I will!" Branka replied, pushing past the group of them and through the doorway leading to the next area.

"Branka! Wait! Sodding woman!" Oghren grumbled as he took off after his wife.

Riel grabbed the front of Zevran's leathers and pulled him close to her. "This  _isn't_  over…" she whispered before pushing herself off the wall and chasing after Oghren.

"You  _do_  deserve her, Zevran. And once Riel beats the hell out of Branka for putting us through these trials, she will tell you that herself," Leliana smiled before running after Riel. She was quickly followed the rest of their companions, leaving Zevran to stare after them, confused and raw from his expressed emotions.

Cursing, Zevran gripped his daggers and joined the rest of his companions, running past the doorway and into an enormous underground cavern. However, most of the cavern was inaccessible as lava churned and flowed through half of it. The half that they stood on gradually inclined upwards to form a peak in the center of the room that overlooked the boiling lava below. And resting on top of the peak was a great and mighty anvil the size of several men combined. In front of the pathway leading up to it, however, was a giant metal golem that towered over everyone in front of it.

"I am sorry, but I cannot allow you to have the anvil," the golem said to Branka who stood in front of it, shouting and cursing like a mad woman.

"You are a fool Caridin! All these years you could have been helping our people, and yet you hide here, keeping Orzammar's greatest treasure all to yourself? Coward!"

"That is Caridin?" Shale gasped as it looked at the golem.

"I recognize you, Shayle. Please, you must help me protect the anvil from this woman!"

"You say you recognize me? How is that? I do not remember you."

"You do not remember, then?" Caridin sighed. "Has it been so long?"

"I remember very little of my past, and what I do remember is shrouded in clouds that I cannot see past. Tell me, if you recognize me, who am I to you?" Shale asked as it walked closer to Caridin and Branka.

"You are Shayle of House Cadash. We were friends in your mortal life, and it was I who put you under the hammer of the anvil myself. You were the only woman to ever volunteer for such a fate."

"Shayle of House Cadash? I think… I remember something…"

"Oh what does it matter? The anvil is just over there!" Branka yelled as she pointed up the peak behind Caridin. Quickly she turned to face Riel. "You there! Grey Warden! You will help me get past this old relic and get to the anvil! With it, you shall have an army the likes of which you could never have imagined! Instead of just dwarven men, made of flesh and bone, you could have a whole legion of golems at your command! The Archdemon wouldn't stand a chance!"

"No! It is a mistake to use the anvil! That is why I have hid it away down here!" Caridin pleaded in opposition.

"I don't understand. Why was it a mistake?" questioned Riel, looking back and forth between Branka and the metal golem.

"We were fools to think that we could create life! What we did wasn't giving life to a pile of rocks or metal, but transferring the life from one vessel into another!"

"You mean, I used to be…  _squishy_?" Shale asked, disgusted.

"At first, we only took volunteers. Those who wished to extend their life and their power. However, soon the well of those who would volunteer dried up, and we turned to the casteless and poor to add to the numbers of our golems. Then it was rivals for the crown, or who the king disagreed simply with. Noble men and women, rounded up and forced under the blow of the hammer. Soon, no one was safe. And when I objected to the horror my creation had been turned into, I was placed on the anvil myself to feel the crushing weight of my failure first hand."

"Their sacrifice was worth it!" Branka bellowed. "In those six years we had access to golems, decades of losses were finally won back! What is a few deaths compared to the whole of the dwarven people?!"

"Such was the thinking of King Valtor, and the fear and destruction that his blindness caused our people was not so little you would think, woman."

"Nonsense! Every sacrifice was worth it! The dwarven people are  _dying_ , and the anvil has the power to save us!" Branka was near hysterics as she ranted, her eyes wide and her voice shrill. "You there, Warden! Surely you must understand how pressing the threat of the Darkspawn are! Your order was built upon the idea of sacrifice and the death of the few to protect the many! Stand with me now and we could create a golem army so massive to prevent any future Blights!"

"Oghren," Riel stated flatly turning to the dwarf beside her. "You have five minutes to talk some sense into your wife before I  _ **knock**_  it into her myself."

"It is siding with Caridin then? Good. That is the right thing to do," Shale muttered to itself.

"Branka! Can't ya see how dangerous this is? Ya can't save our people by killing 'em!"

"Oghren you always were the fool! Fine then! If you refuse to aid me, then you will cast aside just like the rest of those fools who opposed me!" Branka screamed out before pulling a long shaft of metal from her side and raising it above her head. "Golems! To me!"

"She has a control rod! Friend, you must stop her!" Caridin yelled in response.

Instantly the dormant golems around them sprang to life, rushing forward and attacking Riel and her companions. Even with Caridin's help fighting off the large stone and metal bodies around them, Riel had a difficult time keeping herself from being crushed by their mighty blows. Because of their hard bodies, blades were almost useless against them, the sharpened metal just scraping against their bodies and doing little in the way of actual damage.

Rolling to the side to dodge a massive boulder being thrown at her, Riel knew that they couldn't fight like this and win. Spying Branka in the midst of the fighting, Riel took off after her. Caridin was battling against the crazed woman, her dodging his blows while he withstood hers, his large metal body shrugging off her attacks just as the other golems shrugged off Riel's.

"Branka you stone addled bitch! You are insane!" Riel called out, her eyes blazing fire as she approached the dwarven woman.

"What do you know of it, elf? Your kind sits pretty on the surface, only having to deal with Darkspawn during the Blights! My kind suffer everyday!" she seethed, readying her blades for attack.

"You think your kind are the only ones to suffer anything?" Riel asked incredulously. "That the dwarves are the only ones to experience loss?"

"Oh do not bore me with your sad stories, elf! You surfacers are all the same! Complaining about the Darkspawn and the Blight only when they make their way up to your own lands!"

Branka rushed Riel, swinging her sword out before slamming her shield into Riel. Winded but not willing to give up, Riel rolled with the strike before slashing out with her daggers. "You are obsessed! You cannot save people by killing them!" she cursed out she as twirled her daggers, the slice cutting so close to Branka's head that a tuft of her brown hair fell free.

Riel twisted around, dodging Branka's blade with ducks of her head and contorting her body is different ways as Branka again and again let her blade fly. With shield and sword Branka attacked, the fury on her face transforming her features into something more akin to that of demons than dwarves.

"You shame your order Warden!" Branka hissed as her sword aimed for Riel's stomach. "In war, victory!" she screamed as she sliced out. "In peace, vigilance!" Another strike, nearly taking Riel's head. "In death,  **sacrifice!** "

" **How dare you!** " Riel raged.

The words uttered by Branka being the sacred oath taken by all Grey Wardens when they took up their charge to fight against the Darkspawn. It was their sworn oath of duty, of fealty, and of the promise to spend their lives battling the evil that waged war on all the people of Thedas. And to have it so corrupted by Branka infuriated Riel to volcanic levels.

Riel ducked under Branka's strike before rolling her body along the other woman's shield, getting inside the dwarf's personal space. "You know  **nothing**  of the Grey Wardens!" Riel hissed the moment her blade sliced into the space at Branka's side where her heavy armor latched together. Both their eyes went wide the instant the blade struck, a look of shock clearly on their faces.

"Well… that hurts…" Riel muttered before she coughed up a mouthful of blood.

Pushing herself free the other woman, Riel looked down to see a hidden blade attached to Branka's shield arm. When Riel had rolled along the shield to get close enough to strike, the blade sunk deep into Riel's chest at the same moment her own blade slipped between Branka's armor.

Branka stumbled back a few steps, a look of confusion on her face before she dropped down to the ground. Riel lifted her eyes to the scene before her, seeing the fighting golems suddenly stop in their assault mid swing. Placing her hand on her chest, Riel tried to stop the flow of blood, however a deep weakness began to seep into her. The world spinning, she tried to call out for someone, yet the blood in her mouth cut the sound short.

Dropping her blades to the ground, Riel's eyes sought out her one guiding light. Over by Morrigan, he was sheathing his blades and looking around surprised, no doubt confused as to why the golems suddenly stopped attacking. Her breathing ragged, Riel tried to keep her eyes on the golden skinned elf, even as her knees buckled and she fell down to the ground below her. Vaguely she was aware of someone screaming, however all she could hear was her own heartbeat in her ears. The frantic beating getting slower with each second that passed.

Riel tried to keep her eyes on the elf, yet dark splotches were overtaking her vision, clouding her sight. If she could just keep him in her sight… The darkness was too strong, however. It pulled and clawed at Riel until all her strength left her and she fell backwards, the world around her going completely black.


	36. A Paragon's Last Request

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Atrast nal tunsha: Dwarven. A formal farewell. "May you always find your way in the dark."
> 
> Da'len: Elvhen. "Little child, or little one."

"She is alive, but just barely," Wynne stated grimly.

Kneeling on either side of Riel was both Zevran and Wynne, with Leliana cradling Riel's head in her lap. Wynne had stopped the bleeding and healed the wound, yet Riel had lost so much blood already. Her skin was pale and cold, and even with the mage's healing, she still didn't open her eyes.

With tears in his eyes, Zevran held onto her blood coated hand, his mind screaming silently as he looked down at her. Even when Wynne had done her magic, Zevran had refused to leave her side, instead just holding her hand to his chest as he desperately prayed for her live.

Multiple times he had tried to get to her during the fight. To weave around the rampaging golems that swung out their massive arms and pounded into the ground with their boulder like fists. However no matter how many times he had tried to get past the stone monsters, something always prevented him from advancing further. Either because of the earth shaking attacks throwing him off balance, or their deadly blows knocking him back, it seemed as though fate decreed that Riel would face the mad dwarven woman alone without his aid.

Zevran now cursed that same fate, his chest a swirl of emotions as he looked down at his Riel, unmoving and unconscious. Too many times since entering these damn underground roads has he almost lost her. Too many times had he feared never seeing her look at him with her ethereal silver eyes again.  _Why? Why must it always be her?_  he raged silently. No longer caring if others saw the tears that fell freely from his eyes, Zevran lifted her hand up to his lips and kissed each one of her fingers. Each lingering kiss a silent prayer to please keep her alive.

"Aww, sod it….  _Branka…_ " Oghren moaned several feet away as he looked down at the corpse of his former wife.

"Do not  **dare**  mourn that woman in my presence, dwarf!" Zevran spat out angrily, his eyes spearing Oghren with lethal intent.

"Zevran,..." Leliana whispered, her own tears falling down her cheeks.

"No! If not for that madwoman's obsession, Riel would… She  _would-_ " Zevran couldn't bring himself to say the words.

"I see now that it was foolish to think that I could hide away here with the anvil. I had hoped that maybe someday, our people would grow beyond its greed and single minded obsessions. I see now that is unlikely to ever happen." The giant metal golem sighed as he looked down at the destruction his invention had wrought.

"We need to get her back to Orzammar. I dare say even beyond that, away from this place that haunts her," Wynne stated as she again checked Riel's pulse. "Her heart is weak, and the continued stress of this place will kill her as surely as any Darkspawn."

"Before you go, I would ask a single boon."

"Riel is  _dying_  and would ask more of us, creature?" Zevran hissed.

"Many more will die if the anvil remains as a temptation for my people. However, I cannot destroy it myself. The magics that have bound me to this metal form also prevent me from taking action against it. So I would ask that before you go, will you do what I cannot? Will you put an end to this curse that I put upon my people?"

"Whatta 'bout why we came 'ere the first place? Orzammar still needs a king!" Oghren exclaimed, eliciting a string of Antivan curses from Zevran.

 _If Riel were to awaken to find that all this had been for nothing, it would devastate her…._ Zevran thought to himself. Still keeping hold of Riel's hand, Zevran lifted his eyes to the metal golem. "The tales say you were a Paragon, just as Branka was."

"Aye. To my shame, my cursed invention lifted my name and my house. However, my thaig now lost as countless others, taken over and destroyed by the Darkspawn and other foul beasts that live along these tunnels and old roads."

"Then you will give us proof of your status, and we will return with it to Orzammar," Zevran replied before looking over at the dead body of Branka several feet away. "We came looking for Branka, for her aid in ending a stalemate in the Assembly which was preventing us from gaining the dwarven people's support against the Blight that now rages above ground."

"Say no more," Caridin said, lifting his giant metal hand in protest. "I do not wish to know their names or how many years I have wasted in my futile hope." Caridin sighed as he looked down at Riel. "For your valiant sacrifices and the honor you shown to me, I will take hammer to anvil one last time, and fasten you a crown worthy of the next king. On it I shall place my seal, so that all may know that the Paragon Caridin has given you his favor."

"If the anvil is to be destroyed, what will happen of you?" Shale asked to Caridin.

"My dear friend Shayle, I have lived too long as it is. My one purpose has been to see that the anvil was never again used to corrupt the souls of our people, and when it is destroyed, that purpose shall be complete. I will allow what should have happened countless years ago, and return to the stone that birthed me."

"I have so many questions still! My memory is so filled with holes, how will I find the answers I seek if you are gone?"

Caridin sighed as he regarded Shale sadly. "Before you became as you are now, you were Shayle of house Cad'halash, known later as simply Cadash. The thaig of your birth lies not far from these ruins, and if you would so like, I will mark on your map where I remember it to be. However, I do not know what answers you will find there, my old friend. Long years have passed since I last walked the Deep Roads and saw the destruction of our once glorious empire."

"I shall go there then."

"Very well. Yet take one last heeding from an old friend and listen well to my words. The past can only tell us who we once were. It cannot tell us who we are now, or who we will be in the future. I was once so blinded by the glory of the past, that I let the gifts of my present slip right through my fingers. Do not let the same happen to you, old friend."

"What is this over here?" Oghren called out, bringing everyone's attention to an immense statue of dwarf holding up a long carving of names.

"Those are the names of each dwarf who was sacrificed under the hammer of the anvil. Each name, a monument to the person who was either lost in battle or gone mad from the transfer of consciousness. Every dwarf, born of a caste or not, is remembered there."

"That should go back to Orzammar! The Shaperate will mess his knickers to find this! Casteless, honored as warriors!" Oghren laughed to himself as he looked over the carvings.

"Take what you will, for I will have no use of it. All I ask is that you use the information you gather to the benefit of our people. Perhaps by learning the mistakes of our past, they will finally be able to move on and create a future that I had always hoped they would." Caridin then turned his glowing gaze back to Zevran and the woman who had nearly given her life to fight for his cause. "Give me but a moment and you will have your crown. When it is finished, I ask that you in turn destroy the anvil, and prevent any future souls from having to suffer such a fate as I."

Zevran looked down at Riel, looking so peaceful even as she clinged to life.  _What would she do_? In truth, Zevran knew exactly what his Riel would decide. After having suffered so long as a slave, she wouldn't want any others to suffer as she did. And imprisoning unwilling souls into the husks of stone or metal to serve whatever master held their control rods…. Riel would do anything in her power to prevent such a thing from ever happening.

"I agree, my metal friend. Once the crown is completed, I will see to it that the anvil is never again used."

Caridin bowed slightly to Zevran before turning and climbing the stone peak that led up to the anvil. There he took hold of a hammer, and started to work on his last creation. As the time passed slowly, Zevran stayed by Riel's side, holding her hand in his. He wanted her away from this place; away from the Darkspawn and golems and madness this place infected people with. He wanted the next time that she opened her eyes, she could look up at the sky above and know that whatever nightmares plagued her were now over with.

 _How can I leave you?_  his mind whispered to itself as Zevran looked down on her.

"She will live, Zevran," Leliana stated reassuringly.

_Yes, but will I? How can one live without their heart?_

"It is finished," Caridin's voice echoed as he approached Zevran. Taking the offered crown in his free hand, Zevran looked upon it and could have cursed for the irony of it all. Orzammar would gain its king, while doing so has cost him his queen. The bitterness of it stung worse than any blade, almost making him toss the golden crown back at the golem in his misery.

Yet that is not what his Riel would have wanted. She would take the crown, and fulfill her end of the bargain made. Placing the crown down beside him, Zevran then leaned in close to Riel's face.

"I will not be far,  _mi bella_. Soon, you will be free of this place. I promise you," he whispered before placing a light kiss against her forehead. He then looked up to Leliana who still cradled Riel's head in her lap. "Watch her while I am gone, my friend? She doesn't…" he paused, a lump forming in his throat. "She doesn't like to be alone."

"Of course," Leliana smiled despite the tears that rained down her cheeks.

Zevran took a last mournful look at Riel before standing and approaching the giant anvil. Easily three times times the size of a normal anvil, lyrium veins could be seen spiraling along it's base and up to the flat surface. The blue glow of the magical substance gave the ancient and magical anvil an almost ethereal look. Zevran took hold of the large hammer that laid by its side and hefted it in his hands.

Looking down at it, Zevran felt his anger boil within him. This anvil was the source of all of his and Riel's current troubles. It's existence sending the madwoman Branka off into the Deep Roads in search of it, leading to Riel and the others having to follow her footsteps. Miles deep underground, through dark passages taking far too close to very enemies that plagued and ravaged her beautiful mind…. All of her nightmares and headaches and all the close calls they had endured since entering this place - all of it was linked back to this one object. Something that enslaved and took away the wills of those who fell victim to it.

The irony was not lost on Zevran. A former slave suffering to prevent other slaves from being made. Sacrificing herself so that others could be free. The bitterness of it all driving Zevran's fury higher. With the anger boiling in his veins, Zevran lifted the hammer high above his head and brought it down heavily upon the anvil. A great shockwave of power was released, the shattering boom echoing off all the walls and ceiling of the grand expanse of the cavern that they were in.

Taking a step back, Zevran looked down at the now ruined anvil and he couldn't help but feel a deep satisfaction. As if this small act eased the well of vengeance that bred in Zevran's soul against all the pain his Riel has suffered because of the cursed taint in her veins. Perhaps he couldn't save her, but he could make this one thing right.

"Thank you, friend. Now, I may finally rest in peace.  _Atrast nal tunsha_ ," Caridin warmly stated with a short bow before walking to edge of the peak and letting himself fall down into the lava below.

After witnessing Caridin's death, Zevran turned towards his companions and made his way back to Riel. Once by her side again, he kneeled down and looked at both Wynne and Leliana's face. "Anything?" he asked softly.

"She has not stirred. But she is still stable. For now," Wynne answered, her voice heavy with sadness.

"Then let us be done with this place," Zevran stated firmly before gathering Riel into his arms and standing.

It still would take several days of travel to return to Orzammar. However, there would be no detours or unnecessary stops. Even if he had to carry her the whole time, Zevran was determined to get her away from these dark tunnels as quickly as he could. And if his desires came to pass, she would never again have to step foot in this place again. He  _will_  find a way to end her Calling. Even if she had rejected him. Even if she hated him.

He still loved her. And he would keep his promises to her. No matter what.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

_It was finally peaceful. No voices. No whispers. No screaming or crying. Just…. Quiet._

_She laid upon the soft grass and looked up at the night sky. It was beautiful the way the stars shined down. How some were brighter than others, yet they were all important. For they all made up the whole of the sky and the beauty that wasn't just a small part, but an entire picture of wonder and amazement._

" _You always did enjoy the stars."_

_She didn't turn her head at the feminine voice, even though she cringed at the intrusion. Couldn't they leave her alone? Just for a little while?_

" _I come not to bother you, child."_

_She kept her eyes on the stars above her, hoping that this one would eventually get bored and leave her alone. Some did. Some raged and screamed. Some bartered. Some even tried fighting her. Each time she would either wait them out or fight them until she stood heaving and breathless above their defeated form._

" _Do you know why they cannot take you?" the voice said, its tone soft. Almost…. motherly. "You have spent years open to their senses, yet still you evade them. They cannot take you as they have taken countless others. Have you not wondered why this is so?"_

_She kept still, eyes trained on the view above her. The voice came closer, the footsteps light on the soft grass as it approached. A slight shuffle, the sound of clothing rustling, then it was beside her. Sitting upright while she laid motionless on her back._

" _It has pained me to witness your troubles and yet not be able to help you, da'len. My gifts to you the only aid I could offer." More silence, her eyes locked on the view above her. "It is alright if you do not wish to speak," the female voice said. "Sometimes the most powerful things we ever say are never said with words."_

_She wanted to tell it to leave her be. To either hurry up and get bored or fight her. Either way, to make up its mind so she could go back to the peaceful quiet. It's been so long since it had been quiet, that to have it disturbed now was almost a crime worthy of tears._

" _You have cried enough I think, da'len. However, that does not mean that I do not understand. That I have not seen every tear you have shed. That I have not longed to take away your pain and remove you from your troubles. However, there are some things even I cannot control."_

_The voice was silent then for a little while. If it wasn't for the way that she could still feel its presence next to her, she might have thought that it had finally left._

" _I will never leave you, da'len. I may not be able to help you. Or protect you. However I will never leave you." The voice sighed heavily before speaking again. "I know you fear that they will take you. One moment of weakness. One moment too tired to fight back. In fact, it has already happened, has it not?"_

_She remained silent, even as her mind pulled at the memories for things long ago. Another female voice that had come to her. Promising relief. Promising happiness. Promising everything that she had always wanted._

" _They will promise anything to get you to agree. Yet their promises are as empty as their hearts. However, no matter their promises, they will never be able to claim you. Which is why some of them grow frustrated and fight you. Or even torment you. However, their efforts will mean nothing, for you are one of mine. And I protect my own."_

_She turned her head then. Towards the voice that spoke to her. The sweet and lovely voice that spoke as a mother would to a dearly loved child. Yet when she tried to see the face of the one who spoke to her, the features were too bright to make out clearly. As if the very sun shone from inside the thing speaking, blocking her from making out anything that would help her define what it was._

_Except for the eyes. Kind, loving eyes looking down at her with irises of silver._

" _Who-?" she asked, speaking for the first time._

" _Just an old woman, da'len," the voice smiled. But how did she know that? No features could be seen through the light of its face. "One who has grown tired of watching the way you struggle with what fate has delivered at your feet." The voice then sighed, lifting a hand up to brush away the hair on her face. "However, there is still much more awaiting you." The voice was sad now, the silver eyes shining as if tears glistened in their depths. "I did not set this fate upon you, however I will make sure that you do not walk it alone."_

" _I_ am  _alone…" she said, her own tears forming._

" _Never, da'len. While I endanger the rules of our world by appearing to you like this, I have never truly left your side. I have also done what I could in placing others in your path. Those whose ties to you goes beyond what can be physically seen or felt."_

_Her mind reached backward into itself, pulling on memories that seemed to slip from her fingers just as she were about to grasp them. Laughing honeyed eyes. Cherry red hair that always smiled. Piercing yellow eyes that seared into her soul and left all of her secrets bare._

" _They are but one half of the gifts that I have given to you. The other…." the voice paused at it reached for her hand. Taking it gently in its glowing limb, she was surprised to find a fire spring forth from her fingers and take over entire hand. Yet it didn't burn her. It actually felt… nice. Safe. "This is not tied to magic in your blood, da'len. While you may hide that which defines you,_ _ **this**_ …"  _it paused again as the fire climbed up her arm to her shoulder. The fire continued to spread, taking over her upper body, then moving down to her legs and her feet. Within a heartbeat, her entire body as aflame. Yet it didn't hurt. This was_ **her**   _fire. The one that had always come when she needed it to. The one that protected her and those that she cared about. "_ _ **This**_   _is something beyond the magic that you hide. Beyond whatever abilities you attain. This, as does your eyes, marks you as mine."_

_The fire that consumed her suddenly died out, returning back into her skin. Yet unlike the previous times that her inner fire had come forth, she was not left exhausted. Like a breath exhaled, it was simply gone back from where it had come, leaving her just as she was before._

_She continued to stare at her hand, a mixture of amazement and curiosity filling her._

" _It is a muscle, as any other, da'len. The same as any magic, only from a source much, much older."_

_She then narrowed her eyes on the bright face, questions racing through her mind._

" _I already risk much by coming to you now, da'len. Rules set into place by things far older than I."_

" _Why did you come then?" she asked._

" _Even the hardest rocks can be broken. The stoutest trees knocked down. The highest mountain worn down to nothing."_

" _I don't understand."_

" _You have been through much, da'len. However, your trials are far from over. Things harder than anything you have yet faced still await in the shadows, looking for a weakness to destroy you."_

" _Why? Why me?" she cried, tears again pricking her eyes. "I'm nobody!"_

" _As I said, I would never have laid this fate upon your feet. However, events sometimes have a life of their own, taking people places that they were never to be. And now that they find themselves there, the only thing that they can do is continue on. To move forward."_

_Move forward. That is what she had been doing for so long._

" _I am so tired…" she sighed sadly, closing her eyes._

" _When one carries a load meant for several, the weight always seems too heavy to continue on."_

" _I_ am  _alone," she replied bitterly._

" _No, da'len. You only lack the knowledge."_

" _What knowledge?"_

" _Despite the cruelties in your past, you are not cruel. Despite the hurt you have lived through, you do not seek to hurt others unworthy of it. And despite the pain you have endured, you do not wish to see those you care about in pain. These things come natural to you despite your past. And yet because of them, you have not learned the most important lesson of all."_

" _And what is that?"_

" _A person can live in pain and not wish to cause pain to others because of it. However, a person who has lived without love may wish to love others, but simply just doesn't know_ how  _to love."_

_Again her memories called out to her. Sitting by a fire. Red hair and arrows. A deep pain crushing her chest as she cried._

" _Remember da'len, sometimes the most powerful things we ever say are never said with words. Sometimes the actions we take - or didn't know that we are taking - speak far louder than the words that we did not say."_

" _You like speaking in riddles, don't you?" she quipped._

_The voice smiled. "Call it a purview of the very old."_

" _Will I see you again?" she asked after a small stretch of silence._

" _Some day. However, many trials still await you between now and then. Things that will hurt you, cause you pain both physically and mentally, and threaten to destroy you."_

" _I like the riddles better than the blunt spelling out of my doom," she groaned._

_A soft sound was heard, almost as if the voice was laughing. "So do I, da'len. Just remember that no matter how lost you feel, you are never alone. And that sometimes, the hardest words are the first."_

_The voice then left her. As quickly as it had come, it was gone, leaving behind an almost ache within her chest. Even rubbing at the pain didn't ease her, and instead only seemed to make it worse. In the quiet solitude of the forest, she cried as the pain in her chest began to beat in time with her own heart. Each beat echoing in her mind louder and louder, until it almost sounded as if a name were being repeated over and over again._

_...Zev...ran..._

_...Zev...ran..._

_...Zev...ran..._

_Tears flowed down her cheeks as she cried out, the pain in her chest getting worse._

" _I am sorry!" she cried into the silence surrounded her. "Please forgive me! I'm so very sorry!"_


	37. Love and Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty". A term of endearment Zevran has for Riel.
> 
> Atrast tunsha: Dwarven. A formal farewell.
> 
> Salroka: Dwarven. "Friend."
> 
> Na Kallak, Amgarrak. Na Partha, Sha'latak. Na Tavash, Amgeforn: Dwarven. "In War, Victory. In Peace, Vigilance. In Death, Sacrifice." The Grey Warden motto spoken in the dwarven language.
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."

She had been out cold for a full day. At first she slept soundly, although it did cause worry when she would not rouse when Zevran had tried a few times to see if she would eat or drink for him. Still, she breathed and she held no fever, so Wynne had advised just letting the woman get as much sleep at she could.

Through the tunnels Zevran had carried her, refusing when others offered to take Riel for a while so he may rest. As kind as their offers were, she was his to care for. At least until she awoke and sent him away herself. Until then, he cared for as he should. As his heart and soul demanded that he do.

The only time Riel left his reach was when he placed her down long enough to set up a tent for her to rest in. And while she rested upon her bedrolls, Zevran sat close by, dagger in hand as he watched her sleep. Measuring each of her breaths, making sure that her heart continued to beat. And for that first night, she slept peacefully under his watch.

The next day Zevran had begrudgingly ate the food that Leliana brought for him, not finding any arguments against her reasoning that he needed to keep up his strength to protect her. However, he drew the line at allowing the woman a turn watching over Riel while he got his own rest.

And during all that time, Riel did not move. Not even the normal movements a sleeping person would usually make, such as rolling over or slight movements of their limbs as they slept. Riel did none of that. If it wasn't for the way he so carefully watched her breathing, Zevran would have assumed she no longer lived. A thought that by itself kept him awake and alert despite how little had slept since entering the Deep Roads.

It was during the second camp that Riel finally stirred. At first it was a flicker of her closed eyelids. Then a sad moan came past her lips. Zevran was immediately kneeling by her, his eyes filled with concern yet unsure of what to do.

"Please forgive me!" she suddenly cried out, tears leaking from her closed eyes.

"Shh,  _mi bella_. There is nothing to forgive…" he whispered softly to her.

Riel turned and curled into a ball on her side, her cries coming heavier until she sobbed against herself. At a loss for what to do, Zevran placed a hand on her shoulder, unsure if she would send him away again. However he couldn't leave her like this. Not while she cried out as if in pain.

"Zevran…." she whispered out in a deep cry.

 _Please do not send me away_  he prayed. "I am here, Riel."

With her eyes closed tightly, Riel blindly reached up for him. Zevran set aside his dagger and let himself be pulled down beside her. As soon as his body was next to hers, Riel snuggled tightly against him, her face flat against his chest. Even with his leathers still on, Zevran almost wept at how good it felt to have her next to him like this.

"Please don't leave me," she whispered against his chest.

"I am here for as long as you will have me,  _mi bella_."

"I am so tired…."

"Then you should rest. I will be here to watch over you."

Riel shook her head against his chest, causing Zevran's heart to restrict in his chest. However instead of telling him to go, Riel just held onto him tighter. "Rest with me," she said softly. Zevran was about to argue when her sweet voice cut him off again. " _Please_. I  _need_  to feel you resting against me."

Zevran was left speechless. How could he deny her? How could he rest when there was so much danger still around?

" _Please_ …" she begged him again.

Zevran reached quickly for his dagger before wrapping his arms tightly around her. For her, he would do anything. However, he couldn't allow himself even the illusion of rest without a dagger in hand. Not when he needed to protect her.

"No… no weapons. No armor. Just you. Just me," she argued softly against him.

" _Mi bella_ , we are still…-"

"I know where we still are. Which why I  _need_  this. I need to feel you against me. I need to know that even with everything…. that we are still  _us_.  _Please….._ "

Zevran sighed before raising himself from the bedroll and quickly removing his armor before much more carefully removing hers. He then returned to her side and wrapped his arms tightly around her. He had not expected to rest when he had set up the tent earlier, so there was only one bedroll under them, yet with how closely Riel burrowed herself against it, it didn't seem to matter. Thanking the gods that she didn't ask for him to undress completely, Zevran closed his eyes and tried to find some rest.

Even with his under clothes still on however, his body reacted to her closeness. To the feel of her so close against him. To her scent as he breathed her in deeply with each inhale. Zevran mentally cursed at how good she felt with her leg over his own and her arms clinging tightly to his back. And when one of her hands slipped under his shirt and ran up the muscles next to his spine, he couldn't contain the moan of pleasure that escaped his lips despite how badly he didn't want to come off as lecherous to her.

Whatever her motivations, Zevran couldn't put any faith in the idea that this closeness was anything other than her need to be comforted after coming so close to dying. That he was more convenient than actually needed echoed like nasty voice in his head as he held her against him. In truth, he would provide whatever she needed, for the small amount of time that she needed it from him. Yet hoping for anything other than that….

His thoughts were cut off by the feel of Riel's lips on his neck. Light kisses along his throat and crossing to the other side. Zevran squeezed his eyes shut, completely lost as how to respond. Even when Riel's hand slid from his back over his ribs to his chest, Zevran forced himself to remain unmoving. Still her kisses tormented him, leading up his jaw to his ear, where her tongue glided along the sensitive flesh there.

Unable to take any more, Zevran gently pushed Riel back and looked into her eyes. Searching for anything in them that could tell him what to do or what this meant to her. What she expected it to mean to  _him_.

" _Mi bella…._ " he whispered.

"Zevran…. Don't you want me?" she asked him, her eyes flickering in hurt.

"I want  _you_  to want me. However, I must know if this is purely about feeling better while trapped in this cursed place. Or if it is something more." Seeing her confused look, Zevran cupped her cheek and gently caressed her face. "Know that either way I will gladly do what you need of me, however I must know. Do you come to me seeking simple pleasure, or perhaps…. love?"

"I need you Zevran. Not just your body. Not just the pleasure you give to me. I  _need_   **you**."

Zevran pulled Riel against him, placing a scorching kiss on her lips. His heart doing backflips in his chest, too many emotions crashing inside for him to know where one ended and another began. The greatest of them all was love. Sweet, glorious love filling him as he kissed her passionately with his whole being. Gratefulness was a close second. Amazement. Disbelief. These and more crushing together in his chest as he kissed her.

Riel ran her hands under his shirt, feeling the softness of his skin against the hardness of the muscles underneath. "The shirt… lose it," she muttered against his lips. Zevran was only too happy to comply, sitting up slightly to pull the fabric over his head. Immediately Riel placed her lips against his bicep, kissing and licking along the swirl of a tattoo. Her teeth leaving light bites on his flesh.

"Your turn…" he breathed heavily before lifting Riel up and nearly tearing the tunic from her. His hands going to her breastband and undoing the leather ties, freeing her breasts for him. Cupping her breast in his palm, Zevran ran his thumb over her raised nipple, taking special delight in the soft moan she uttered as he massaged the plump flesh.

Riel felt as if she couldn't touch enough of him. Taste enough of him. Be close enough to him. Her hands running along his chest, then back up where her fingers caressed his neck and jaw. Her lips found his shoulder and she placed soft bites there before running her tongue along his collarbone and up to his neck. Her nails dug into his flesh along his back before moving up and lacing her fingers into his hair before pulling him against her lips for another kiss.

She heard a slight rip and giggled softly against his lips as she realized he just ripped her small clothes in his haste. "Sorry," he whispered against her lips before kissing her again.

"Buy me new ones then," Riel giggled.

"I would actually prefer you didn't wear any," he laughed seductively in response. "They tend to get in the way…"

Riel moaned loudly as she felt two of his finger delve deep inside of her. Closing her eyes, she arched her back as she felt him work her core. Zevran took advantage of the opportunity and latched his mouth on to her breast, running his tongue over her taut nipple. Riel held his head her, loving the way he knew just how to touch her. His skillful touches and licks bringing her closer to the edge before backing off, extending her wonderful torment.

"Zevran….!" she mewled, her voice heavy with need.

"I am here,  _mi bella_ …. I am right here for you….  _always…_ " he answered back to hoarsely.

Riel came apart then, pleasure overtaking her body as she cried out his name. Zevran rode out her climax before quickly removing the rest of his clothes then retaking his previous spot lying next to her. Cupping her cheek, he gazed into her eyes marveling at the emotion he saw there. Yet still his doubts clung at him.

"Tell me you want me," he pleaded with her.

"I don't just  _want_  you, Zevran… I  _need_  you. And what I need most is right  _here_ ," she stated before placing her hand on his chest over his heart.

Zevran smiled broadly before kissing her deeply, his hands skimming lightly over her body. When they reached her leg, he lifted it and hooked it behind his hip, bring his shaft right up next to her core. "Then  _please_ , accept me…"

Riel took hold of his face and held his gaze with her own. "I do, Zevran. All of you. Always." Riel then shifted her hips and took him all the way within her. "By the Creators, Zevran…!" she moaned deeply.

Zevran lowered his head to her shoulder as he moved in powerful strokes within her. He didn't want to rush with her. However the need in him was fueled by his previous worry over losing her. By long days spent without her next to him. By every longing that her felt when he looked at her but no longer left worthy enough to even speak with her, let alone touch her. Gripping her thigh in his hand, Zevran couldn't withhold his desire.

"Riel! I… can't…. By the  _ **gods!**_ " he exclaimed in a deep roar as he exploded within her. Breathing heavily, Zevran moved a few more times before he pulled Riel tightly against him. "Forgive me!" his muffled voice pleaded against her neck. " _Please_ ,  _forgive me!_ " he nearly sobbed. Confused , Riel held onto him tightly, running her fingers along his back.

"Shhh…. Why do you need to be forgiven?" Riel crooned to him softly.

Zevran's hand left her thigh and travelled up her body, coming to rest at the pink line that cut across the space between her ribs. Absently he ran his fingers along the mark, remembering the feel of her warm blood on his hands. Remembering how cold she felt as he held onto her hand while Wynne healed her. Remembering how lifeless and pale she was even after Wynne had used her magics.

"I couldn't protect you," he finally whispered.

"It was my own fault for not anticipating her having another blade."

"Not just with her," he softly replied. "In your nightmares. When my foolishness kept you from waking up. Against what the Archdemon did to you there. Then against the Broodmother. When it knocked you back before Oghren killed it. Against the traps Branka forced us through. Against the apparitions that attacks us. So many times…. I failed you…"

"What we do… What  _I_ do…. It is dangerous. You know this Zevran. And I doubt that it will get any easier."

"Is that why you sent me away?"

Riel lifted his face up to meet hers. "I have  _ **never**_  sent you away, Zevran."

"The night you spoke to Leliana about what happens to Wardens… after a few years…." Zevran paused, pain lancing his chest at the memory. "I came back to the tent that night, yet you sent me away. I had already broken so much of your trust already, I didn't want to push you, so I left you be."

"I waited for you to come back, but you never did! I fell asleep waiting for you! And when I awoke again, you refused to even meet me in the eye!"

"I no longer felt worthy to…"

Silence filled the space between as each of them put the past few days in proper context considering their combined misunderstanding. "I have  _never_  rejected you, Zevran," Riel whispered to him. "I thought you stopped loving me because I couldn't give you what you wanted…"

" _You_  are all I want, Riel. Whichever way you may allow me to."

"I cannot give you a future, Zevran," Riel replied, tears in her eyes.

"And yet I have no future without you."

"I'm serious Zevran!" she cried, tears falling down her cheeks. "Maybe if this wasn't a Blight… Alistair said that Grey Wardens normally live for thirty years after the joining. But during a Blight…."

"Shh,  _mi bella_ …" Zevran whispered softly to her, wiping her tears away with his fingers. "We will find a way, Riel."

"How do you know?"

"Because I refuse to accept any other option."

Riel couldn't help but laugh softly at his answer. "You know, that's what I told myself when we went after the spider queen. That it didn't matter how many spiders there were or how dangerous it was. To me, there just wasn't any other option than getting those eggs for both you and Leliana."

"And that is how I know that we will succeed in this, as well."

"Zevran, as bad as going after that queen was,  _no one_  has ever stopped the Calling when it came."

"Neither had any of them been  _me_ ," Zevran stated firmly. "I will  _ **not**_  let them have you,  _mi bella_. I  **will**  see you free from this."

Riel's eyes again began to cloud as she saw the deep conviction in his eyes. Inside, she doubted such a thing were possible. Some things just couldn't be changed. However, she didn't want to argue with him. Not after finally being with him after so long of being separate. Instead, she cuddled up close to him, placing her head against his chest.

However she couldn't keep the images from her mind. The nightmares of what happens to those captured by the Darkspawn. Memories of Layrn were especially strong. Her fear. Her despair. Her anger.  _Will that happen to me too?_

"I promise you,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran crooned to her, almost as if he could read her thoughts. "They will not have you. No matter what I must to do to save you."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Four days later, Riel stood in front of the dwarven Assembly, her heart lodged in her stomach. With the Warden's return to Orzammar, the deshyrs had called an emergency session, all eager to hear of the news that Riel had brought them. None more so than Pyral Harrowmont and Bhelen Aeducan, each contenders for the kingship of all Orzammar.

The Paragon Caridin had not wanted to know the names of those who sought the crown that he made. And he had gone to his death only minutes after crafting it, leaving Riel with the sole decision as to which dwarf would become king of his people. And up until that moment, Riel had been as confident as she could be that Bhelen would make the better king.

That was, until the newly crowned King Bhelen called for the immediate execution of Harrowmont as well as his lieutenant, Dulin Forender.

Riel had tried calling out, demanding Bhelen stop, yet her cries went unanswered as Harrowmont and Dulin were both swiftly arrested and sent to await their execution in Orzammar's dungeon. Watching them being led away, Riel felt as if she had killed them both with her own hands. While she didn't know Harrowmont well, neither man had seemed to be bad, and certainly not worthy of death. Riel had just thought Bhelen's more progressive attitude was probably a better choice than Harrowmont's more conservative values. And now two decent men were going to die because of her decision.

Riel suddenly felt as if she were going to be sick.

"Come,  _mi bella_ …. Let us leave the dwarves to their ways. There is nothing you can do," Zevran whispered to her softly, placing a comforting hand on the base of her spine.

Riel looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes. The two of them were still not fully back to where they had been. Back before the dwarves and Deep Roads. When it had just been the two of them lost in the wilderness, enjoying each other freely as two young lovers should. A tension still existed between them, born out of Riel's tainted future, and Zevran's blind determination to save her from it.

They were back to sharing a tent, yet their conversations were short, Riel often too tired to argue and Zevran simply not wishing to upset her more. And while they did still lightly kiss and hold each other, they had not shared of themselves since Riel had first awoken from her injuries from their fight against Branka. Most nights as they laid down together to rest, Riel was even too tired to stay awake long enough to remove her armor.

While Morrigan's drink helped with the voices and eased Riel's rest a bit, they did not remove the nightmares entirely. The headaches and deep bodily pain still persisted as well. And so when the group finally spotted the thick metal doors that protected Orzammar from the Darkspawn and other creatures, Riel was beside herself with relief. Thinking that perhaps finally, her intensified nightmares and struggles in this horrible place were finally over. However, for as much as she had been through over these last couple of weeks, Riel wasn't prepared for this. Not the death of two good men because they were not her first choice for leadership of a people that she hardly knew.

"Warden! Wait!" Riel heard the newly crowned king call out to her. Too exhausted to pull together even a fake smile, Riel turned and regarded the new king as he rushed up to meet her and the others. "You will be pleased to know that I will be able to gather our armies and send off a full battalion of men to aid you in the fight against the Blight. They should be ready to leave for Redcliff in two days time."

"Excellent, your majesty," Zevran replied, adding a short bow with his words. "However, if you will excuse us, it seems our elven blood is not so well suited to the underground as you fine dwarves are."

"A-ha! Well, I suppose I would feel the same way if I were to spend too long the surface!" Bhelen laughed and lighting bumped Riel's shoulder with his fist. Riel cringed and nearly reached for her blades on instinct, yet Zevran was quick to take both her hands within his own, lifting them up casually to his lips.

"Our Lady Warden has been through much trouble these past few weeks," Zevran replied, kissing each set of her knuckles lightly as his eyes held on to her own. He then turned his face to look at Bhelen, his usual charming smile in place. "If it would not offend his majesty, I shall be stealing away our beautiful lady here, so she may find a warm bath and suitable rest to ease her after so long in the Deep Roads."

Bhelen's eyes twinkled with a lurid understanding as he looked between the two elves. Riel had to suppress the shiver of revulsion that went through her as his appraisal somehow made Rile feel even dirtier than she already was. "Oh I perfectly understand my good man," Bhelen laughed lecherously. "You see to the Wardens  _needs_ , and I'll make sure those troops get to Redcliff as soon as possible!" This time Bhelen clapped Zevran's shoulder, giving him a wink before strolling off to address the members of the gathered assembly.

"Come  _mi bella…._ Let me take you away from this place…"

"Yes…  _please…_." Riel sighed heavily, letting Zevran guide her from the halls and out the doors leading to the affluent Diamond Quarter.

Just outside the large doors, however, stood another delay to Riel's much needed escape. Looking very much the determined warrior that Riel remembered him to be, stood Kardol, waiting patiently with his hands clasped behind his back.

 _Mythal, help me_  Riel prayed as for this man she plied what she hoped was at least a halfway decent smile on her face.

"Warden! I was hoping to catch you before you left for the surface!" Kardol beamed.

"Kardol… Nice to see you again," Riel smiled as best as she could. "Sorry we couldn't stick around and see how your men fared with the antidote, however I was anxious to get back on the trail for Branka."

"Do not trouble yourself, Warden," Kardol replied, waving off her apology. "I have actually come to tell you that thanks to your help cleaning out that crawler nest, our new king should have enough coin and gems to fill Orzammar's treasury for at least a full century! The Legion itself was even allowed to keep a large portion to help restock and resupply our men, something that has been more than difficult since our loss of Bownammar year ago."

"That's wonderful, Kardol!" Riel smiled truly then.

"We were also able to retake Ortan thaig, and claim many forgotten valuables that the Memories deemed lost for centuries. You've done something special for us, Warden. Something beyond just putting a king on a throne. You've given the whole of the dwarven people something to be proud of once again."

Riel felt speechless as she heard his heartfelt words. To her, the battles she fought were to protect people from the Blight or to save her friends. To know that she had done something so large for the whole of the dwarven people - it floored her. And it went a long way in easing her mind over what happened back in the Assembly Hall. However, even his kind and generous words lifted her spirit slightly, the weight of these past few weeks hung heavily around her neck.

"I am very pleased for you, Kardol. That is wonderful," Riel smiled, forcing herself to be polite despite how much she wanted to begin running for the doors to the surface.

"Before you go," Kardol said quickly as Riel turned slightly to go. Riel hid a wince, yet felt her strength buoyed by the comforting feel of Zevran's arm slip around her waist. "I have spoken with my men, and not only will you have Orzammar's army topside when you fight against the sodding 'spawn, but you'll have the full force of the Legion of the Dead as well. The Legion owes you a great deal, Warden. Anytime you call upon us, we will answer." Kardol then placed his fist over his heart and bowed down low. " _Atrast tunsha_ ,  _salroka. Valos atredum. Na Kallak, Amgarrak. Na Partha, Sha'latak. Na Tavash, Amgeforn._ " Kardol then stood and smiled at the Warden and her companions before turning swiftly on his heel and leaving quickly in the opposite direction.

"Shall the rest of us be off then? Quickly now before more short things endanger their squishy lives by calling upon the Warden, hmm?"

Riel almost laughed at the golem's remark, yet could only manage a genuine smile up at the creature before letting Zevran gently escort her from the Diamond Quarter and out to the Market District. The plaza was as busy as ever, with dwarves from all classes going about their day as they bought and sold goods. Word had travelled quickly that a new king was chosen and so nobles of all ages were busy buying new clothing and adornments for the upcoming events that were sure to take place celebrating King Bhelen's ascension to his father's throne.

"Leliana, if you would be so very kind, perhaps…" Zevran asked to the bard beside him.

"Of course. You take Riel up to the surface, and the rest of us will gather our things from Tapsters and find Alistair." Leliana offered the two elves a kind smile before leading the rest of the companions off towards the tavern.

"Come now,  _mi amor_. Let me take you free from this place," Zevran purred into Riel's ear as he guided her through the throng of people. His expert reflexes and keen sight making sure that Riel never once ran into a single person while at the time quickly taking the both of them to the grande gates that led to the surface.

 _Just a few more steps_ …. Riel thought to herself as they passed through the gates to the city entrance hall and up to the stairwell where the outer doors were. Once standing there before the outer doors, Riel placed her hand lightly on the door before her. Tingling in the back of her mind was a feeling of anxiety. Telling her that she shouldn't leave. That the deep and dark places behind her where was she belonged. And perhaps that was true. Eventually, she would return here. To take her final walk amongst the Darkspawn and fulfill her Calling. One day, she will die as all Grey Wardens die.

However today - today, she was  _free_.

With that thought in her mind, Riel pushed hard on the door in front of her. That first moment when the mountain air touched her skin and the sun shined down on her, Riel felt as if she was back outside of her old master's house. The brilliant sun blinding her as fresh air swept into her lungs, stealing her breath away. A flicker of panic arose within her as the familiar sensation washed over her.

"It's alright,  _mi bella_ … I am here…" Zevran whispered softly into her ear. And he was right. She  _wasn't_  alone this time. Taking strength from that, Riel clung onto Zevran as her eyes slowly adjusted to the bright light overhead.

With one arm wrapped around her waist and the other hand in hers, Zevran led her down the steps and past the guards that stood their vigil outside of the main doors. Blinking back tears, Riel let herself breathe in the earth and the sky and trees around her. To feel the sun and wind on her skin. Even though the mountain air chilled her exposed skin and sun hurt her eyes, Riel felt a wave of peace consume her that she hadn't felt for far too long.

"Riel! Riel, wait up!"

The peace she had felt quickly withered as Riel heard the familiar male voice call out to her. The clanking of his armor running abrasively on what little of her nerves and patience that she still somehow managed to have. Almost whimpering from the loss of the feeling, Riel leaned her head against Zevran's chest briefly before turning to face the approaching Templar.

"Alistair, please, can't this wait?" Riel pleaded as the man joined them.

"No. It's been too long already," Alistair huffed angrily, piercing Zevran with a deadly glare. "You need to see this.  **Now.** "

Riel looked wearily up Alistair before her eyes shifted down to the letter that he held. "What is it? News from Redcliff? Has something happened to the arl?" Riel felt Zevran tighten his hold on Riel as his eyes fixed on the letter. Suddenly she felt a chilly blast hit her skin, almost seeming to come from Zevran beside her.

"It's not from the Eamon. But it's important," Alistair corrected, handing the letter to her.

"Where did you get that?!" Zevran cursed, snapping the letter out of Alistair's hands before Riel could touch it.

"What is it, Zevran?" Riel asked, a deep pit of anxiety beginning to churn in her stomach.

"It is everything that I have been saying for months now! He is a  **traitor!** " seethed Alistair.

Zevran turned to face Riel and touched his forehead to her own, looking down into her eyes. "It is a mistake,  _mi bella_. Something that I did not want to trouble you with."

"Let her read it,  _assassin_. Let her see for herself how far Crow loyalty goes!"

Zevran moved swiftly, pulling one of his blades free and pointing it towards Alistair's throat. "Stay out of this, Templar! This does  **not**  concern you!" he shouted, his voice filled with anger and venom.

"You're damn right this concerns me, you filthy assassin! You have been lying to all of us since Riel was foolish enough to let you live all those months ago!" Alistair roared, ignoring Zevran's outstretched blade and stepping closer to him. Both men glared threatening at the other, a hairsbreadth away from attacking each other.

" **Enough!** " Riel screamed out. Zevran looked over to Riel and immediately his fury and anger bled away and was replaced with a deep sadness and regret. That more than anything told Riel that she needed to see what this letter said. Her heart filled with trepidation, Riel still held out her hand towards him, determination set in her jaw. "Give me the damn letter, Zevran!"

Cursing loudly, Zevran's eyes went back and forth between Riel and Alistair, torn between wanting to gut the human and needing to take his Riel in his arms one last time before she hated him. Quickly he sheathed his blade and took hold of Riel's cheek in his hand. "This letter is not what it seems,  _mi bella_. Remember that.  _Please_ ," he pleaded. Hating himself, Zevran then placed the letter in her outstretched hand.

Riel's hand shook slightly as she took the letter and carefully unfolded it. While staying with her clan, the Keeper had taught her to read the common tongue well enough, even though she still struggled writing it. And as her eyes darted across the finely made paper, Riel for the first time wished she had never learned to do so. Perhaps then it might have been easier to believe whatever lies she would next be told if she hadn't been able to so clearly read the words for herself.

_To my Brother, Zevran._

_I have heard about your misfortune at the feet of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden. Tsk, tsk, brother. How clumsy of you to have fallen to that traitorous bitch's attacks! But it is of no matter. I have a new deal for you, one that I am sure will come as both a relief and as an entertaining challenge._

_As fate would have it, I will be in Denerim in a few months. Bring the Wardens to the following back alley, and we shall take care of them together, brother! Then when it is done, we shall both return to Antiva and back to the Crows. They will understand, as you are doing only what is needed to stay alive! With me to vouch for your story and the deaths of those troublesome Wardens to add to our story, I am sure you will be welcomed back into the family without any trouble. However, this where the challenge comes in my brother._

_I know how close you have become with the female Warden. Bravo! It reminds of the that time in Orlais with that beautiful countess! For a full month you pursued her, plying both her ears with your charms and her bed with your body! Then when she declared her love, you plunged your dagger into her heart while screwing her! Ha!_

_Hopefully your new tryst is just as pleasing, no? From the stories that I have heard, she is indeed beautiful, and with quite the temper! You always did the love the spicey ones, brother. Ha!_

_Ah, but I jest. To be serious, it would be best for you to continue on bedding the Warden and befriending her comrades. It will make it that much easier to lure them into our trap, and it will add to our story when we return to the Crows! The tales of your trysts are almost legend among the newest members and trainees! And I am sure this one will be no different, my brother._

_I will remain in Denerim for quite a while, so do send me a letter at our safe house there. There is much business to be had among these dog lords now with a civil war looming! I will see you soon, brother. Oh, and screw the bitch once for me, will you? I know I will be in my dreams tonight!_

_Farewell Brother, and keep well. Soon you will amongst your family again!_

_Taliesin_

"Zevran…. What is  _this_?" she cried softly, her eyes still on the page. Teardrops falling from her eyes and staining the page as she reread every word, every sentence, her mind swirling out of control as the dark meaning of the letter registered in her mind.

"As I said - he is a traitor!" Alistair sneered, his arms crossed over his chest. "Once an assassin,  _always_  an assassin!"

Memories of Zevran's stories came back to Riel's mind. Stories of how he used to seduce his targets. Gain their trust, then bed them. Of how he used his looks and his charm to get close to people before killing them.  _But that wasn't what it was with them, was it? He never loved any of them, did he? He wouldn't do something like that to someone that he loved, would he?_

A sickening thought then came creeping into Riel's mind.

"Rinna…." she whispered, remembering the story Zevran told her as they sat along the shores of Lake Calenhad.

"No! No! Riel!" Zevran hissed sadly, taking her face into his and bringing her eyes up to meet his. "This is not like that! What is between us… What I feel for you is beyond anything I felt before. I would  _ **never**_  betray you!"

 _I killed her._  His words at describing what happened between him and the female Crow echoed back in Riel's mind. The coldness of his words mixing in her mind with how brutal of a fighter she knew him to be. Hard. Efficient. Calculated. It was something that Riel had always secretly admired about the other elf. The way he could so easily shift his emotions. From joking and flirting one moment to ruthless seriousness as he quickly cut down whatever enemy was in front of them. There was never a pause in his strikes.

 _"Did you like being an assassin?"_  Riel remembered asking him.

_"I did. I enjoyed the hunt. The way I could outwit even the best guard or defences. And I enjoyed ending my target's life. It was a pleasure like nothing else, watching the life drain from their eyes."_

Outwit. Outwitting her defences. Outwitting the careful guards she had put into place to protect herself. That's what he had done to her, wasn't it?  _A pleasure like nothing else._  Like the pleasure he gave to her? How much of that was his feelings for her, and how much of it was his assassin training? Was a dagger through the heart awaiting her like that poor countess? Or was her life worth enough coin to Loghain that he would offer her up still living? A gift to the future ruler of Ferelden on behalf of the Crows.

All the times he had saved her. All the times he had made love to her. When he held her as she cried or when she laughed. What was design, and what was actual feeling?  _Was_  there any actual feelings? How did Riel know? She had no experience with men outside of the brutality of her past. Oh men using and abusing her for their own desires and needs.

_Was Zevran the same? Had Riel just been deluding herself? Was he keeping her alive just so he could deliver her to Loghain and rejoin the Crows? Was any of it real?_

"Riel…" Zevran whispered painfully, extending a hand out to her.

" **Don't** _ **touch**_   **me!** " she cursed out, shrugging away from his touch.

Burning fury exploded in Riel's chest as her mind raced. The magic within her body rising from its sleepy depths and charging the air around them, causing small sparks of electricity to appear in the air. Glaring down at the letter in her hand, Riel wished at that moment that she had died in the Deep Roads. Just so she could be spared this heart wrenching pain that now eclipsed her. Suddenly the paper within her grasp caught on fire as her whole body exploded in flames.

Zevran felt as if his entire world had broken to pieces. Watching Riel now, he would have given anything to take her pain away from her. He wanted to apologize for hiding the letter from her. To explain to her that he just didn't want to add yet another trouble to her already full plate of worries. To tell her that when the reached Denerim, he had every intention of hunting down Taliesen and cutting out the man's heart. That with his former friend dead, he would then send organ back to the Crows as a message to them all that he wanted nothing to do with them anymore.

He wanted tell her in every language he knew that he loved her and only her. To fall on his knees and beg for a forgiveness he wasn't worthy of. Yet the words would not come. Their already fragile peace they had managed to find since Branka's attack shattered to splinters under this latest blow.

Watching the last fragments of the paper burn to ash in Riel's hand, Zevran found himself wishing for her to break the silence. To give him her fury. To unleash her anger at him. To yell at him, attack him, burn him with her magic -  _anything_  other than the deep sadness filled silence that built between them. He would take it all gladly if it meant she would feel better. If unleashing her rage on him would bring a smile back to her face, he would gladly die at her feet.

"Riel? What has happened?" Leliana asked, suddenly appearing by Riel side. Worry and concern was on the rogue's face as she looked at her friend, yet she wisely didn't try to touch her. "Riel?"

Another moment of silence passed before the flames that had overtaken Riel's body suddenly went out, returning her to normal. "We go southeast, back along the King's Highway," she said stiffly. "The Keeper once told me that a clan came through the Brecilian Forest this time of year. With any luck, we should be able to meet up with them before they travel north again." Riel's tone held barely any emotion other than the hardness of her words as spoke. Without looking up at any of them, Riel walked away from the gathered group and towards the path that led down from the mountain.

"What in the name of the Maker just happened?" Leliana questioned both men.

"I finally showed the assassin for what he truly is," Alistair replied smugly.

Zevran took out his blade again and pressed it against Alistair's throat.

"Zevran! What are you doing?" Leliana screamed in surprise. Yet Alistair didn't even blink, instead returning Zevran's deadly glare.

"I warned you once,  _Templar_. I warned you what would happen if you again caused our Lady Warden harm."

"It wasn't  _me_  that hurt her,  _assassin_.  **I**  wasn't the one with the plan to deliver her to our enemies after I seduced my way into her bed!"

"What is going on here?!" Leliana screamed at both men. "If one of you do not start explaining to me why Riel just walked away from here looking as if she had just died, I swear I will skin you both!"

Alistair smiled cruelly as he continued to glare at Zevran. "It seems our resident Crow assassin had plans to hand both Riel and I over to Loghain when we next returned to Denerim. We were going to be his ticket to get back with his fellow murderers," he sneered.

"What in the name of the Maker?" Leliana looked over to Zevran, her expert eyes measuring just how closely he was to killing the male Warden. "Zevran? That can't be right. I know you love Riel."

"He doesn't love her! He was using her! He was using all of us! He bedded her to pass the time, or perhaps even some kind of sick joke! See how quickly he could bed the damaged elf so he could brag about it to the other filthy murderers in the Crows!"

"I swear Alistair, one more word out of you and I  _will_  let Zevran turn your insides into Darkspawn gruel!" she hissed to him before facing Zevran again. "You! Talk!"

Zevran's eyes flashed to hers, the anger and fury disappearing behind a wave of sadness and regret so full that Leliana gasped at the size of it. "I-..." he started, unsure of where to begin. "I was going to meet them on my own!" he finally stated firmly. "When I received the letter, I knew that I couldn't burden her with yet another problem. She had already suffered so  _much_ …" Zevran's voice broke as tears pricked his eyes. "When we had reached Denerim, I was going to find Taliesen and send his heart back to the Crows as warning to not come after me again!"

"Liar!" Alistair cursed out. "You  _ **never**_  cared for Riel! She was nothing more to you than just one more woman for you to bed! To use! To lay your filthy  _knife-eared_  hands on her!"

"Zevran loves Riel, Alistair! I can't believe that after all this time you still cannot see that!"

"He has  _ **never**_  loved her, Leliana! His  _kind_  do not know how to love!  **I'M**  the one who has  **loved**  her!"

"The only thing you  _love_  Alistair is your own idea of her! You have no idea who Riel really is! You love a fantasy, and in so doing have destroyed the one good thing this world!" Zevran hissed out.

"And you know her so well, do you assassin? Well I suppose a killer  **must**  get to know his mark before placing a knife between their ribs!"

" **ENOUGH!** "

All three of them turned their heads to see Riel standing several feet away, the glow of fire lighting up her small frame. With the mountain wind whipping her hair and her deadly glare upon them, Riel looked more the vision of a conquering goddess than a mortal woman. Seething in deadly fury, Riel looked to each man in turn before narrowing her eyes on Alistair.

"You are a such a  _ **bastard**_ , Alistair. Even if I had never brought Zevran along with us, I would have  _never_  ended up with you. Zevran is right. You don't  _love_  me. You have never loved me. You wanted that fragile little elven girl from back in Ostagar who cried at night for how lonely she was. You looked at me and imagined some connection because of our shared taint. However hear me now when I say that that is  **all**  the connection we will  _ever_  have. And I loathe  _it_  as much as I loathe  _you_."

Riel then turned her eyes to Zevran, the fury raging behind them softening into hurt and sadness.

"I thought I knew what love was. The Keeper once told me it was about trust. Trusting others with the part of ourselves that we didn't show to anyone else. But if that is what love is, I don't know if I want to love anymore," Riel cried, a tear running down her cheek. "What is love, if nothing but pain? Nothing but dealing with repeated hurts that just keep coming? That you cannot defend yourself against. If that is what love is, I don't  _ **want**_  to love anymore." Riel reached a trembling hand up to her face and wiped away the tears that fell. "If I am going to be hurt and feel pain, I would rather it come from my enemies, rather than my allies. At least I can defend myself against those attacks."

"Riel, you know-"

"No, Leliana. I can't do it anymore. Not after what I just went through down there. I just can't do it." Riel pegged each man with a glare then. "Kill each other if you want. However, the Creators have saw to it that I need both of you still against the Blight. So if you're going to kill each other, do me the one favor either of you have ever have done for me, and wait until that sodding bastard is dead before you gut each other." Riel then looked past the three gathered to the rest of their companions behind them. "Next is the Dalish. They should be in the Brecilian Forest this time of year. There is still plenty of daylight left to travel, so let's go." Riel's eyes met the honey colored eyes she once took so much comfort in, yet now just only caused a deep pain in her chest. "I've wasted enough time as it is."

Riel then turned and walked away, not caring at the moment who followed her. Or why. The only thing that mattered was ending the Blight. After the Archdemon was dead, Riel would return here. To the snowy mountains and doors that led deep underground. She would walk the paths of those before her, even if her Calling had not come yet. Perhaps then at last would her body catch up with her dead heart.

And she could finally, truly, find real peace. And be free from all this pain.


	38. Riel's Lament

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much! And a BIG thank you to everyone who leaves a review!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> None this chapter.

It was practically dark by the time Riel finally called for camp to be set up. They should have stopped hours ago, however the longer they travelled, the longer she could put off the inevitable heartache night would bring. Being free from the horrors of the Deep Roads, Riel thought that she should be relieved. Happy even. With each step she took away from that cursed place, the whispers in mind lessened until all but disappeared. Only if she sought out of the deep hypnotic voice in her mind would she find its echoes. Like a dangerous animal outside of the glow of a fire, Riel would poke at the voice just to make sure that it was still there and know just how far away it was.

Even her head and body aches had decreased. Yet two weeks of exhaustion still weighed heavily upon her. Not able to deal with setting up her own tent, and Riel set her bedroll upon the ground and laid down. Looking up at the stars above eased a part of her that had longed for such a sight while deep underground. Yet even the beautiful vision of the heavens above couldn't ease the pain in her chest.

The mood of the camp seemed to match her own. Tents quickly set up and people retreating inside of them. Even Oghren, the dwarf from Orzammar. Apparently like Wynne before him, he had become with the Wardens and wished to join Riel and Alistair in their fight against the Blight. Not that it bothered Riel. One more sword at her back. Oghren's addition brought the group's warriors numbers up to three, in addition to the stone golem, making four skilled warriors to help her fight. Two mages, three rogues and a mabari hound rounded out the collection of misfits and fighters.

And yet out of all of them, only a single face haunted Riel's memories. A single smile. A single touch. A true travelling party of adventurers she had managed to assemble. However, it was the memory of a single pair of honeyed eyes that refused to leave her be. As much as she inwardly cursed and railed against the images of her mind, still they persisted, taunting and tormenting her until Riel felt as if she were going to go mad from it.

The memory of his eyes wasn't the only thing that tormented her, either. Riel could feel the eyes of her companions on her. All during the mostly silent walk down the mountain as they travelled. Even now as she laid still on her bedroll by the fire. Hushed tones whispered, her advanced hearing picking up parts of their conversations that they thought that she couldn't. Words of concern over her. Heated words of anger against both Alistair and Zevran. Even the dwarf's jokes carried over to her as Riel watched the stars above her.

Getting tired of their whispers and stares, Riel stood from her bedroll in a huff. Marching over to Morrigan's fire, she then stood silently by the flames as she thought of the exact words she wanted to say. Yet doubt and fear of rejection pulled at her, making Riel almost lose her nerve and return back to the main fire.

"That old woman has requested my aid in showing her some of the more rare healing herbs," Morrigan stated suddenly, breaking the silence between them. "After that I am to be standing watch with that atrocious fiend of a Warden as per my penance. As such, I will be away from tent for some time. However, while walking I managed to gather some fine smelling herbs. Normally this would not be worth mentioning, yet these herbs are known to be favorites of local rodents and night birds. So I ask you this, to watch over my drying herbs and deter the furry and feathered menaces from stealing them while I attend to my other duties. If you are unable, I shall seek out Leliana. Although that loathsome woman does have a habit of rearranging my piles…." Morrigan stated with a grumble. "What say you? Shall I fetch Leliana, or will you seek your rest here while I attend to my duties?"

Riel didn't say anything, words of gratitude and appreciation lost in the storm that she floated through. Instead she placed her bedroll on the ground by Morrigan's fire and laid down on it.

"Good. However, my herbs dry best in the dark. As such, they are within my tent. Therefore if you are to stay and keep them safe, you are to seek your rest inside."

Riel looked over at Morrigan, her vision blurring due the tears that gathered there. Yet the witch didn't seem to notice her emotional state as she continued to arrange various things in her pack and beside her fire. Standing, Riel gathered up her bedroll and walked past Morrigan and into her tent. Immediately the absence of the eyes Riel had felt on since leaving Orzammar was a weight gone from her neck. Sighing deeply, Riel adjusted her bedroll on the ground next to Morrigan's and laid down once more.

"I am to be off then," Morrigan's voice drifted in through the open tent flap. "That hound of yours has decided that it has need to settle its foul smelling self just outside of my tent. Do try to not trip over it if you feel the need to leave the tent for any reason."

The woman's voice had dripped with irritation and Riel could easily imagine the swears the woman had mentally uttered to her mabari. Yet it was something  _normal_  for the woman. To grouse and curse at Fen'harel whenever the hound chose to lay near by her. To make remarked about how the hound stunk or tried to give the woman 'disgusting tongue baths' as Morrigan would put it.

However, there was no soft whispers from Morrigan. No sideways glances filled with worry or concern as they travelled. The witch was as she normally was. Distant. Friendly without being overbearing. And she didn't coddle or constantly ask if Riel was 'okay' every so often as Wynne and Leliana had. With Morrigan, there was no shoulder to cry on, but sometimes that was exactly what Riel needed. Not a comforting hug, but someone who understood that when a storm raged inside of your own mind, sometimes the best thing you could offer someone was solitude.

Riel said a prayer of thanks to Mythal for deep friendship that she had found in the witch. A kinship that given the turmoil in her mind right now, she needed more than most anything. Now if only she could force her mind to forget a certain charming smile and honeyed eyes long enough for her to finally get some rest.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Leliana stood with her bow ready as she watched the darkness before her. After they had made camp, both Wynne and her had made up the watch schedule for the group. Any relief they could give their weary leader while she dealt with her her inner struggle. Riel didn't even seem to notice, instead almost immediately setting up her bedroll after she had a fire going and laying down next to it. Hardly a word was spoken by the woman since leaving Orzammar, and her mood reflected in the moods of the others of the group as well.

Sten was resting in his tent, as his turn was after Leliana's. Shale was on the other side of the camp, watching with her glowing eyes for anything that might think of disturbing their camp. Wynne was by the fire, silently drinking her evening tea and she stared into the flames. Oghren - their newest addition - was drinking some form of ale he had carried since leaving Orzammar. The foul smell of the liquid even reaching Leliana over a dozen feet away.

Two members of their group were missing from sight. Alistair, the handsome yet foolish ex-Templar male Warden had set up his tent then left, muttering something about checking the parameter. Zevran, the equally handsome elven assassin hadn't even bothered to set up a tent before disappearing into the shadows. He also didn't give a reason for his departure either, instead just silently slipping away after making sure that Riel was lying safely by the fire.

Sighing deeply, Leliana watched sadly as Riel had gotten up from her bedroll and walked over to where Morrigan was by her fire. Aside from when they travelled in the Deep Roads, the young witch insisted on keeping her own fire away from the others. Something that always made Leliana wonder, even if she didn't question her about it. When you travel with a group of people consistently for a period of time, certain measures of privacy needed to be observed. Morrigan's distance and personal privacy were such a thing.

So had Riel's insistence on her own privacy and distance from the group, even if she expressed it different. Her personal space kept almost sacred, where even her belongings were left untouched by everyone but her. Her own room when they rested in towns. Her past a subject of even greater taboo than Morrigan's was. Maker's breath, Leliana knew more details about Morrigan's past than she did about Riel's. And while Leliana was no fool and knew that her dear friend had suffered horribly in her past, Riel had never spoken of what had happened to her before her clan had adopted her.

However, Riel's near constant nightmares were more than enough for Leliana to piece together enough of the young woman's past that Leliana couldn't help but burn with anger at the thought of it. Her own past filled with it's own troubles and horrors, Leliana had felt a kinship with the tough and abrasive woman almost immediately. And over these past few months of travelling together, that kinship had changed into something closer. Something undefinable. Beyond the words of friendship or even sister. There no sexual tension between the two women, yet the bond they shared didn't require it to flourish. Leliana's love for their female Warden was beyond what she could describe, even as a well trained bard. Which is why it also hurt her so deeply to see Riel and the man she loved in so much pain right now.

 _Damn it, Alistair!_  Leliana cursed to herself.

For all of his obsession towards their leader, all it had brought them all was more suffering. And yet, even despite his bumbling, Leliana couldn't fault the ex-Templar completely. Just as Riel, he was inexperienced when it came to matters of the heart. Leliana has spent a lot of time with those who were raised in the Chantry. Even Templars - who were not bound by the same oaths as Chantry Brothers, were usually naive in matters of women until after they had completed their vows. Unlike the Brothers, Templars were allowed to marry and seek comfort in the flesh of another. Yet they were supposed to remain chaste until such a time that they took a spouse.

Alistair's obsession was little more than a man's first love, so right and sure in his mind that it must have been Maker ordained. And any adversary in that love seen as an interloper. A despised rival who was immediately not worthy of the woman of his affections. In Alistair's naive mind, Riel had become a prize to be won. Something to be protected and held aloft from any who would seek to attain her for themselves. This clouded thinking resulting in even if Maker himself would make himself a man and approach Riel, Alistair would still find the newcomer lacking in some way.

None were good enough for her. Save, perhaps for himself. Which was also why Alistair constantly sought out to prove himself to her. To show her his prowess on the battlefield. To show his devotion through protecting her. To try and provide her with whatever she needed. Yet his own naivety blinded and even doomed him from the start.

Riel didn't need protection during battle. Over time, she had become almost as deadly with her blades as Zevran was. When she fought, she fierce, agile, and able to swiftly strike out with her blades with such precision that even made Leliana look on with awe. And while not every battle was over quickly and far from easy, Maker knew Riel could more than look out for herself.

And while her brutal past had given the elven woman a type of fragility to her, Riel didn't want or need someone to treat her with white gloved hands either. She was capable of facing down enemies five times her size with a type of confidence that Leliana would normally ascribe to the insane. No matter who or what they found themselves fighting, Riel faced them all with courage that astounded Leliana.

No, Riel's wasn't some fragile glass vase in need of protecting from some outer foe. If Riel needed protecting, it was from things far more dangerous than anything you could strike out at with blade or arrow. Things that existed within her own mind that haunted and tore at her constantly. Memories. Dark whispers. Things only she could hear or see. Those were the adversaries that Riel needed help battling. And Alistair, for all his desire to protect her, just was not capable of doing that for her.

Zevran, on the other hand, was. It was interesting, Leliana mused. That a man such as Zevran - raised in a whore house and well used to the pleasures of the flesh - would be more well suited for a woman with such a brutal sexual past as Riel. Where Alistair, a man who - while inexperienced - would be every bit the virgin in the matters of carnal pleasures, was not who would end up breaking that final chain holding Riel back from finally healing.

Perhaps though, the Maker had made it so. That he had seen Riel's fractured heart and brought her a man who would finally be able to sew it back together again. To be everything that Riel thought that she hated, yet turning out to be everything that had needed most.

Then why fate being so cruel to her friend now? After each struggle that each of them have battled through, to end up like this? With Riel in even more pain than she was when Leliana had first met her. For Zevran to be off in the middle of the darkness, doing Maker knows what why Leliana knew that he suffered just as greatly as Riel did. The two of them needed each other. As if they were lovers in one of her tales, the two elves seemed constantly torn apart despite how much they cared for each other. Each time worse than the last.

Leliana looked again over to Morrigan's fire. Through the open tent flap, she was able to see Riel resting inside of the witch's tent, her faithful mabari lying asleep by the fire close to her.  _Too bad men weren't more like mabaris_  Leliana thought to herself with a sad smile. Loyal to their chosen mistress or master, mabaris would only leave their charge in either death or when ordered to do so. Even then, the sever of the relationship harmed the animal. Often never choosing another master, the mabari would roam the wilds, fighting for survival until one day when they could fight no more.

"Perhaps they aren't so different after all," Leliana said quietly to herself.

Sighing deeply, Leliana again searched the darkness. Her eyes checking every shadow and dark pocket in the trees surrounding them for signs of blonde hair or the silver flash of blades as they swung out in the night. Leliana supposed she could always get Shale to bring the Antivan back. Her glowing eyes and body allowing the golem to see farther than Leliana could at this time of night.

However, how to get to the two stubborn elves to speak to one another? To bridge the gap that secrets and pain had caused between them. Not that Leliana had exactly forgiven the Antivan for his part in the hurt that Riel was currently suffering. In her mind, both men were idiots who could use a good arse kicking. Yet, she couldn't let things stay as they were now. Not with Riel in so much pain. She may be fueling herself on anger now, yet Leliana knew that anger was a terrible source to pull energy from. It left one even more vulnerable, and when fighting enemies such as demons and Darkspawn, Riel couldn't afford any more vulnerabilities.

"Blessed Andraste, please guide me. Show me a way to bring these two lovers back together. And help me to ease the heart of the one that I…  _care_  for…." Leliana whispered the prayer to herself, giving her words to the wind so that they may be brought to the Maker's ears.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Riel came awake with a start, the fleeting images of her nightmare flashing before her open eyes. Breathing heavily, she looked around herself, trying to get her bearings.  _Oh right… Morrigan's tent_  Riel thought to herself. Looking outside, the sun was barely coming up in the distance. The only sounds she could hear was the gentle snoring of her hound, resting just outside of the tent.

Stretching her stiff arms, Riel cursed to herself before getting up. Funny, before Zevran, Riel was used to waking up before everyone else. Her nightmares driving away her sleep and making sure that she was the first to greet each day. Even among her clan, Riel was most often the first one to be up and walking around. The peace of the mornings had comforted Riel. Giving her a time away from the peering eyes of others where she could walk freely without fear or nervousness.

Now though, the morning was empty of such peace. Gone were the miles of rock and dirt that has loomed over her head, yet Riel felt the same then as she did those few mornings in the Deep Roads when Zevran had slept apart from her. Before, it had been a misunderstanding. Born out of insecurities and fear. Now….

Riel's eyes drifted over to the other fire and the tents that clustered around it. The fire in the center of the tents was low, yet Riel could not see if anyone was lying next to it. Standing just beyond the tents, Sten's solid form could be made out as he slowly walked, his keen eyes focused and alert as he guarded their sleeping companions.

Her heart heavy in her chest, Riel walked over to the wagon that Bodahn and his son tended to. With this presence now added back to their group, Riel was able to store their extra belongings without having to carry them constantly with her as they travelled. However, seeing as she didn't set up her own tent the night before, her washing cloth and other similar things were still in the wagon.

Gathering up her belongings, Riel reached for an extra water skin and bowl to wash with. There was no stream or other source of water near by, so a simple wet cloth would have to do to wash the previous day's grime from her. Unbidden, an image of when Zevran had washed her down in their tent came to her mind. Silently he had washed her down, the sadness hanging between them thick enough to cut by a blade.

Tears gathered in Riel's eyes as she remembered how gentle he was with her. Taking the time to remove her armor as he wiped all the blood and dirt from her. She remembered how upset he had looked then. His features a mixture of anger and concern. Then slowly just showing his deep sadness. By the time he got to her face, all Riel could see was the love and hurt on his face.  _Was he faking it?_  Just how good of an master of emotions was he? Was it even possible to fake the looks that he gave to her? To fake the love he showed her?

 _I don't want to love anymore_  Riel thought bitterly to herself as she wiped at the tears on her face. Love hurt. It hurt worse than not loving. Or so Riel figured. After all, her chest didn't hurt like this before she had fallen for his laughing eyes and charming smile While she was lonely before, the large ache she felt now was definitely worse than it was then. And while she spent most of her time angry or annoyed before, this terrible sadness that filled her  _had_  to be worse than how she felt before.

All of what Riel felt at that moment was far worse than what she had felt before a certain golden skinned elf crashed into life and shook everything to pieces. Before he had whispered his soft words to her, or made her feel as if not all everyone was out to hurt her in some ways. Riel wanted to go back to that numbness. To turn her heart back into the stone that it was. Where it couldn't be hurt or shattered so easily by simple words or actions.

"Sod it!" Riel cursed out angrily. What was the point of love if it only destroyed everything good that it touched? Why did people fall so blindly for it, even knowing that it held nothing but pain and despair for them? "No more!" she hissed out as she washed herself down with the cold water.

With angry swipes, Riel scrubbed her skin, not caring if she took skin off along with the grime. The dirt that she felt covered her went far deeper than merely the surface. The taint that flowed through her veins causing Riel to feel as if even her own blood was somehow dirtied. Scrubbing with fevered strokes, Riel didn't notice when hot tears rolled free from her eyes and down her cheeks. The water sloshing in the bowl each time she dunked the cloth back in it, Riel cried furiously as she ran the cloth in hard strokes back and forth against her skin.

"I don't want to love anymore! I don't want to! Please Mythal! No more!" Riel begged in deep sobs. "Please… just  _please_  take it away…."


	39. What the Heart Speaks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Da'len: Elvhen. "Little child, or little one."

_Counter parry. Slash. Beat parry. Riposte. Disengage._

_Counter parry. Slash. Beat parry. Riposte. Disengage._

Small chunks of bark and inner wood went flying past him as Zevran repeatedly went through the form. The tree before him showed the deep cuts of his strikes, and soon he would need to find a new one. Another tree to work his anger and frustration out on. Unfortunately the target that he truly wanted to slice his blades into was not an option, no matter how badly Zevran wished otherwise.

Sweat glistened on his forehead and dripped down his back as Zevran imagined the face of his adversary on the tree bark before him. Countless times his mind had gone through the multitude of ways that he wished he could end the man's life. A slip of the blade. A poisoning of food or drink. At night while he slept. During the day while they travelled. At rest. While fighting other enemies. Every moment laid out before Zevran as a temptation that the killer side of him salivated at.

Yet he couldn't. No matter how much he wanted to. No matter how much the bastard deserved it. Not yet, at least. When this was done, though. When his Warden no longer needed him…

Zevran stopped suddenly, heaving great breathes.

She wasn't  _his_  Warden anymore, was she?

 _ **He**_  had made sure of that. No, not the Templar. Even though Zevran wanted to lay the blame for everything solely at his feet, the truth wasn't so friendly to him. The truth was, that he, Zevran, was the cause of the pain that now sliced through his heart as surely as his blades sliced through flesh.

Not just his own heart, either. Perhaps if it was just his own misery, Zevran would be able to handle that. To be the only one who suffered under the immense weight of inner pain and turmoil that now suffocated him. Perhaps if it was just him who now struggled to survive under the crushing weight of his mistakes.

However, fate was never so kind. At least not to him. And even less so to his lovely Warden.

 _The_  Warden. Not his. Not anymore. Cursing, Zevran restarted his dagger form against the tree beside him.

_Counter parry. Slash. Beat parry. Riposte. Disengage._

Two nights had passed for him this way. Travelling each day until darkness was almost upon them before Riel finally calling for a camp. Each morning things were packed up quickly as soon as morning meal was done. There had been little talking, and even less banter. A pall of sadness laid heavily on all of them, silencing even the more boisterous members of their group. The newly added Oghren would sometimes make an off comment before being threatened by either Morrigan or Leliana. Shale would complain as she usually did when not fighting, making Sten groan in frustration. Wynne with her usual calm quietness as she smiled sadly at them all. And Alistair….

If there was one thing to be thankful for, at least that idiot seemed just as miserable as Zevran was.

Only on the third night of camp did Riel set up her own tent. The first few nights since leaving Orzammar choosing instead to sleep in either Morrigan's or Leliana's tent. And only when the other women were busy taking a shift on watch for the group. As soon as they returned, Riel would awaken either take a turn at watch or move to the central fire, where she would sit silently for the remainder of the night.

Zevran would watch her often. Hidden in the shadows. Making sure that she wasn't harassed by the others. Making sure she was safe. He may have lost his claim on her, but she was still his to protect. In truth, she was never his to claim, though. She was always free when it came to him. Her affections given freely if she so chose. Withheld if she deemed instead. The fact that Riel had chosen to share her affections with the likes of him a miracle. One he was clearly not worthy of.

Sleep was near impossible for him. Each night collapsing out of sheer exhaustion than a desire to rest. After making sure that she was safe, Zevran would disappear into the woods or plains of where they camped, where he would train his skills. Imagining them being used on the only target of his anger other than himself. And when Zevran felt as if he could no longer stand, he made his slow way back to camp where he would check on Riel one last time before falling down somewhere out of the way and letting the bleakness of sleep claim him.

Sleep and food were a thing that he did not out of desire. Those few times that Zevran tended to his own needs were not for himself. He kept up his strength with food and sleep not because he desired them. But because Riel needed his strength. His focus. His blades as he struck out at those who would seek to cause her harm.

For her, he would fight, as he always had. For she might no longer be his. Yet he would always be hers.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"Riel, you need to eat."

Riel kept her eyes on the blade she was polishing. Not that it needed it. Creators knew these past few days have resulted in the best cleaned armor and daggers that have ever been seen, surely. The tedious task filling up Riel's time as she fought against the images of her mind. The awful whispers she heard in the Deep Roads may be mostly quiet now, yet other images now haunted the young elf. Images of golden skin and honey eyes. Memories that she no longer felt sure of filled her mind. The truth of them escaping her in the cloud of her mind, as the images clouded her vision.

"I am not hungry, Leliana," Riel replied flatly, her eyes still on the blade in her lap.

"Bullshit!"

Riel looked up, startled at the bard's sudden outburst. While not unheard of, Leliana rarely swore so violently. At least while not in battle. The outburst was out of place compared to the woman's normally jovial and upbeat personality, and it threw Riel off.

In a huff, Leliana sat down next to Riel and placed the bowl of stew to the side. She then reached over and took the blade and polishing cloth right from Riel's hands and placed them to the side before taking the stew and placing it in her now empty hands.

"You  **need**  to eat Riel. That isn't a suggestion, by the way."

Riel stared at the woman in disbelief. "Leliana! What has gotten into you?" she exclaimed, her eyes narrowing on her friend.

"You have! And not just you, either! This whole nonsense has gone on for far too long!" Leliana spat out as she returned her friend's glare before sighing deeply. "You don't think I have been watching you? That we  _all_  have been watching? That we do not know how you suffer?"

"I am  **not**  a  _da'len_  Leliana! I can take care of myself!" Riel angrily spat back.

"You're right. You can. The fact that you have survived so much proves such. Yet you don't  _have_  to, Riel. Something that I still think you have to learn."

"What do you want of me, Lei?" Riel countered, exasperation in her voice. "Everyday I get us and lead this group. I set watch schedules. I make plans for routes. I make sure we are organized when we have to fight. And every night I make sure we are camped in a safe spot, where I make the plans for the next day. I have  _ **led**_  this group as I should have. As a Grey Warden should. As any leader should. What more do you want of me?" Riel felt tears fall down her face and cursed them, wiping her gloved hand roughly across her cheek.

Leliana huffed deeply and took hold of Riel's arm, getting a startled reaction out of her. Pulling her arm away, Riel glared at her friend. "Give me your arm, Riel. Now," Leliana ordered. The anger in Riel's eyes quickly fled, replaced instead with grief and shame. Inwardly cursing to herself, Riel offered her arm back to the bard and braced herself.

Sighing, Leliana gently took the offered limb and began to carefully unwrap the leather that Riel had tightly wound around her arm from her wrist to her shoulder. Underneath the tanned fabric, red and inflamed skin was slowly revealed. The result of Riel's now daily ritual of scrubbing her skin raw every morning before the others woke up.

"Sweetie…" Leliana gasped softly, looking down at Riel's skin. "Why do you do this to yourself?"

Riel took her arm back and cradled it in her lap. Her sad eyes fixed on the redness that covered her arm. She was at a loss at how to explain the feelings that roared within her. She didn't even understand them herself, honestly. The swirl of emotions that built and swelled, twisting her insides and leaving her even more raw on the inside than the skin of her arms was on the outside.

"I'm tainted, Leliana," she finally said, keeping her eyes on her arm.

"The Darkspawn taint? That doesn't change who you are, Riel."

"Not just that," sighed Riel. "Cursed. Beyond the Darkspawn taint. Beyond being a Grey Warden. Before even meeting Duncan and going to Ostagar, I was cursed."

"I don't understand."

"Bad things always happen to me, no matter how hard I try to be good. How hard I try to do the right thing." Riel took was quiet for a moment before taking a breath for strength. "My parents died somehow. Years before I even remember. I was kept by… men…"

"Riel…." Leliana gasped, tears forming in her own eyes.

"I spent years with them. Bad things happened.  _Horrible_  things," Riel stopped to wiped at her eyes before continuing. "But I eventually managed to escape. That's when the Dalish found me. And they took me in, even with how damaged I was."

Leliana didn't have to ask what Riel meant by 'damaged'. Some things were plain even without words to describe them.

"The Keeper was kind to me. Even with how angry I always was. She helped me. Taught me to read. Taught me to write a little, too. Yet no matter much she tried, I was still so  _very angry_." Riel went silent again for a few breathes as she gathered her thoughts. "There was a boy. Tamlen. Unlike some of the other boys, he was nice to me. He didn't avoid me no matter how many times I yelled at him or cursed at him," she smiled sadly, remembering.

"One day while out hunting, a couple of humans came upon us. When Tamlen confronted them, the two humans went on about some sort of ruins close by. Said they even held actual Dalish writings!"

"Did they?" Leliana asked, knowing how much the Dalish craved for pieces of their long forgotten past.

"I didn't give them much time to explain," Riel continued, her voice dropping in sadness. "It had been three years since I had last seen a human, yet all the anger and fear that had built in me over what my old masters did to me rushed forward in that moment. I sneaked behind one of them, and when he was distracted by Tamlen, I slit his filthy shemlen throat!"

Leliana gasped, her hand coming to mouth, yet still she said nothing. The anger and satisfied wrath that shined in Riel eyes as she recounted spoke loudly enough of Riel's mind frame at that moment.

"When I killed one of them, Tamlen shot the other one to protect me," she continued, her voice and expression going softer again. "He wanted to return to the Keeper and tell her what happened. Yet I was so  _stubborn_. I had fought with the Keeper that morning, upset that she insisted on sending Tamlen with me. I  _didn't_  want help. Especially from…."

"A man?" Leliana ventured, getting a nod from Riel in response.

"I thought that maybe if there  _was_  ruins, I could bring back something to apologize to the Keeper. I was so angry when I left that day, yet like always it wasn't really  _her_  that I was angry at. Who I was really angry at was myself. For being this way…."

Leliana picked up the polishing cloth she had taken away earlier and gave it to Riel, who smiled sadly at her before using it to wipe at her eyes and nose.

"I convinced Tamlen to come with me, and together we searched the area for hours yet didn't find anything. I was almost about to give up when I felt the ground beneath me give away. If it wasn't for Tamlen's quick acting, I would have fallen down through the hole into the forgotten room below."

"He saved you?"

Riel nodded sadly. "And I punched him for it…" she laughed softly, remembering.

"I still remember the time that you nearly landed Alistair on the healer's bed back in Lothering," Leliana giggled.

"Yeah well, Alistair  _deserved_  that. Tamlen didn't," smiled Riel, before her features went dark again. "Again Tamlen wanted to go back, but I was stubborn, intent on finding something for the Keeper to apologize. Not caring whether he followed or not, I made some torches and went down into the room." Riel thought then about the strange calling she had felt. The whispers on the air that seemed to pull her deeper inside the old ruins. "Once inside, it was if I could something calling out to me. Calling me. Like the whispers of the Archdemon, but different. Older. They pulled me deeper into the ruins, until I came across these giant metal and wooden doors. Standing there, I  _knew_  that whatever was calling to me was behind the those doors."

"Did you go inside?"

Riel nodded sadly. "Even though he disagreed, Tamlen helped me open the doors. He was  _always_  like that. Helping me do things, even when I was mean to him. Which was a  _lot_ ," she smiled sadly, wiping at her eyes again. "Stupid, stupid boy…! He should have gone back to the Keeper. Gone and told them what we had found. Instead he stayed with me, even when I cursed at him!"

"I think he cared for you," ventured Leliana softly.

"Yeah, well… That's the problem, isn't it?" Riel replied bitterly.

"What do you mean?"

Sighing, she continued on with her memories. "In the room was a mirror. It was beautiful. With wooden frame shaped to look like vines and leaves. It even had gems decorating it that sparkled from the light of our torches. Yet despite how beautiful the frame was, it was the mirror itself that held me. The voices that had whispered to me since entering the ruins seemed to echo out from behind the glass. Bringing me closer…. Telling me to  _touch_  it…"

Riel stopped in her story, remembering that moment when her fingertips were just a breath away from touching the glass. When time seemed to stand still and all that existed was her and the mirror. For that single heartbeat in time, Riel felt a connection forming, touching her soul. An echo of something that resonated deep within her very being, calling out to her from beyond time and space. For that one single breath, Riel felt as if finally everything made sense. Her pain, her sorrow, her confusion of her place in the world…. It was gone, replaced by a peace that she had never felt before. And that had probably scared her even more than what happened next. In a blink, it was gone. The sense of connection. The feeling of peace. Lost to the dark corruption that was the Taint.

"What happened when you touched the mirror?" Leliana asked, pulling Riel back to her story.

"I didn't touch it. Before I could, the room we were in suddenly filled with demons and shades."

"Maker! What happened?"

"Tamlen and I had tried fighting them. Creators, I  _tried_. But there was too many of them. I was knocked against a wall, and when I looked up, I saw one of the demons…." Riel stopped, a sob erupting from her chest. "Oh Leliana! They killed him! They killed Tamlen!"

"Andraste no! Oh Riel!" Leliana cried, her own tears falling.

The two women cried together, Leliana grieving for her friend's loss, and Riel lost in her own feelings of shame and regret. For several minutes they took comfort in each other's presence before Riel regained enough of herself to continue.

"That was the second time I used my magic to defend myself. The first was when I escaped my masters. It wasn't something that I meant to do. Like before, it just  _happened_. It came on it's own. The fire that I have. And with it, I burned each and every one of the demons and shades until nothing was left."

"Like how Wynne described you burned that spider queen."

Riel nodded. "And like with the spiders, when the fire left me, so did all of my energy. I just collapsed, unable to move or even blink."

"How did you get back to your clan?"

"Duncan," smiled Riel, her sadness lifting a bit as she remembered the kind, stoic human who saved her. "The Grey Warden who recruited me. He was visiting my clan, looking for people to join the Wardens. Somehow he had come across the same ruins that Tamlen and I had found. I guess he sensed the Taint inside, and followed it thinking it might lead to Darkspawn. However, the only thing he found was me, alone in the room with the mirror."

"What of Tamlen?"

"Duncan said there was only me. No other bodies. Not even charred remains."

"So Duncan rescued you. But what of the mirror?"

"Before he carried me out of the ruins, Duncan smashed it. It was the source of the Taint he had sensed. And… so was I."

"The Taint transferred to you?" Leliana asked in a gasp.

Riel nodded sadly. "I was dying. The Keeper tried to help me, but the medicine she gave me would only prolong the inevitable. The only thing that might save me was to leave with Duncan, and go to Ostagar. There, he would attempt to make a Grey Warden. An act that by itself might kill me. However, I was dead anyway. Either the Taint would kill me, or the Joining would."

"That wasn't much of a choice."

"I've learned that 'choices' are only for the lucky," Riel stated with a bitter smile. "The only choice I had - the only choice that I've ever had - was to stay alive. And so I did. I survived. When the two other recruits who took the Joining with me died. When almost everyone at Ostagar died." Riel absently fiddled with the cloth in her hands as a tear fell down her cheek. "Even when Tamlen died, I  _survived_."

"None of that was your fault, Riel."

"Maybe," she shrugged in response. "Yet no matter where I go, death follows me. Because of my choices, people have suffered. People have  _died_. And depending on what I choose in future, many more could die. I am cursed, Leliana. And it's just a matter of time before one of you die because of me, as well."

"Oh sweetie... The Blight is to blame for those things, not you! Loghain abandoned the field, not you!"

"I almost got you killed in the Deep Roads, Leliana!" Riel cried out, meeting her friend's eyes for the first time since they began speaking.

"And you  _saved_  me. And Zevran. And Morrigan. And everyone else. It was because of you that we made it out the Deep Roads altogether.  _You_  were the one who killed Branka and stopped the golems that she controlled."

"Yet because of my decision, Harrowmont and Dulin are dead! Probably more too, considering how many supported him."

"That is on Bhelen,  **not**  you."

"What if more of my decisions get people killed? By the Void, Alistair and Zevran are about ready to kill themselves  _over_  me. Me! A stupid elven ex slave who was dumb enough to get herself tainted and yet somehow survive the Joining!"

"They both  _ **love**_  you, Riel. Even Alistair, with his foolish behavior, in his own way loves you," Leliana stated softly, a sad twinge to her voice.

"What if I don't  _want_  to be loved, Leliana?" she exclaimed with tears in her eyes. "Creators, I don't even know what love is!"

"If you do not know what it is, then how do you know that you do not want it?"

"Because all it does is  _hurt_ ," Riel bitterly cried. "Look at me and Zevran! Look at what we went through in the Deep Roads! Look at what is happening now! We finally find some peace with this death sentence over me, and I find out that he was planning on handing me over to the Crows as soon as we reached Denerim!"

"By the Maker, you can't honestly believe that Riel!"

"I don't know what I believe, Leliana! I don't know anymore! All I know is that I have this  _curse_... this… this  _Taint_  inside of me!" exclaimed Riel, lifting up her arms for emphasis. "And no matter how much I wash or how hard I scrub, the  _ **dirt**_  and  _ **filth**_  of it all… of my past, of what happened to me, of what I am and what is waiting for me… It  **won't**  go away!"

"Riel listen to me! Listen!" Leliana almost shouted as she took her friend's hands in her own to still her. " _None_  of us care about any of that. Least of all Zevran. He  _loves_  you, sweetie. He has loved you since the very beginning. And even though he has made mistakes, nothing I have ever seen him do has been with the intent to hurt you. Everything has ever done - from the moment you brought him back to the camp that first day to this mistake with the letter - all of it has been because he has been trying to protect you."

"How do you know, though?"

Leliana lightly pointed to Riel's chest. "What does your heart say, Riel?"

"It says…. that I love him."

"Then that is all that matters. The Maker brought you two together for a reason, Riel. And while the Maker's ways are his own, I trust in him. You and Zevran are meant to be together. Or the very blind or the  _very foolish_  do not see that," Leliana stated, putting special emphasis on ' _foolish_ '.

"But Leliana, I have made such a mess of things already!"

"Do you love him?"

"I just told you I did!"

"Then go to him, Riel.  _Tell_  him. Explain to him how you feel. How he makes  _you_  feel. Hold nothing back, and trust in the Maker. Or perhaps, in your case, the  _Creators_ ," Leliana corrected herself with a soft laugh.

Riel knew she was right. As hard and confusing as everything was, there was one thing that Riel knew for certain. Beyond all of her pain and hurt, she loved him. And despite everything that had happened between them, she knew that he loved her too. Because as with everything in Riel's life - there just wasn't any other option. Not with what she knew to be true in her heart. What she felt down to her very soul. There just was no other option that didn't scream out the very real fact of how the two of them felt about each other. She had just let her own doubts and fears get in the way of what she knew to be true.

"Leliana! Thank you!" Riel exclaimed, launching herself at her friend and wrapping her arms around her shoulders.

"You are  _very_  welcome," Leliana beamed, returning the tight embrace. "No go find him! I have to go tell Morrigan that she doesn't need to poison him after all!" she laughed.

Riel kissed Leliana's cheek, surprising the bard, before quickly standing and taking off in the direction she had watched Zevran go earlier in the evening.

Leliana watched after her friend, smiling broadly. Yet, as their conversation repeated in her mind, a twinge of sadness began to echo in her heart. Telling Riel that love was all that mattered was easy when both people shared the same love. However, her advice was so much harder to follow when the feelings only travelled one way. Sighing deeply, Leliana wondered if she would ever get her own chance to chance after the one that she cared for.

Sometimes, it was hard to know who was the bigger fool. The one she cared for, for not noticing her despite her efforts. Or her, for loving someone who loved someone else.


	40. Danger in the Woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS for this chapter!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Usted hijo de puta: Antivan. "You son of a bitch."

Riel ran through the thickly wooded forest, searching for signs that would show her where Zevran went to. Unfortunately, the waxing moon was partially covered by cloud cover, and little light reached down through the trees. However, Riel didn't give up. Elven sight was better than humans, and even with little light, they could see clearer and farther than other races could up on the surface.

_Blast it all! Where did he go?_  Riel cursed to herself as she looked around. Surely he couldn't have gone that far from camp? Riel stopped running and focused her breathing, reaching out with her senses. The night was quiet, with the owls and other night creatures out hunting their evening meal. The calm wind lightly brushed against her skin, bringing with it the scents and smells of the dry earth and evening life.

However, something else was carried on the wind, something familiar, yet Riel couldn't place the scent. It was too faint to tell what it was, but the slight echo of it reeked of deep warning and danger. Riel looked around, trying to focus her eyes through the darkness. Off in the distance to her right, she caught a slight movement. A light. Slowly she creeped towards the flickering source, her senses on alert.

Staying hidden in the shadows, Riel etched herself forwards, being careful to even rustle the leaves under her feet. Through the brush, she spotted the campfire, and sitting around it were two men. One thinner than the other, yet both were poorly dressed. Their leather armor was frayed and badly maintained, it was also ill fitted, as if the men either cared little for their armor condition, or didn't know how to maintain it.

The taller one was lanky, clean shaven despite his filthy brown hair and tanned face. Probably almost six feet when he stood, he looked to weigh no more than Riel herself did. Yet the bow at his back didn't require massive upper body strength or weight to wield. His squinted eyes didn't seem to miss anything as he leered over the cards in his hand over to his companion.

The other one was shorter, and much fatter. Looking as if a he were a honeyed roll glazed in sweat, the other man looked more well groomed or caring of his appearance than his friend. His longer hair was darker and tied back behind his nape of his neck, and has at least a few full days of beard growth on his cheeks and chin. Clubbed fingers scratched at the hair on his face as he looked over the dog eared cards in his hand. With shrewd eyes he looked over to the man across from him, his cruel smile revealing missing and darkened teeth.

Riel backed away from her hiding spot slowly, her hands instinctively going for the blades at her back.  _By the Void! No!_  she cursed, realizing she had forgotten her daggers back by her own fire. Fully panicked now, Riel eased herself from the shadows and backed up, keeping her eyes on the two men in front of her. However, her back suddenly hit something hard, stopping her short.

"Well, what do we 'ave 'ere?"

Riel's blood ran cold as the familiar voice reached down into her chest and clutched at her heart. Her first instinct was to run, yet before her feet could comply with the demand from her brain, a heavy palm wrapped itself around the back of Riel's neck and lifted her off the ground. With a great heave she felt herself being tossed forward, through the brush that she had been hiding in and into the view of the men at their camp.

"What's this?" the skinny one exclaimed.

Coughing, Riel tried to drag in the breath that had been knocked out of her, her eyes going wide with fear. She looked around quickly, her eyes latching onto the ropes and leaders that slavers used to control and capture slaves.

"While ya two louts were playing at cards, this 'ere knife bitch was spying on ya!"

"Oi! Not my fault, it is! Benny 'ere was takin' too long wit his cards! We be seein' who takin' first watch!"

"And while ya be gamblin', dis 'ere wench was 'bout ready to run off, probly to her clan, no doubts Then we'd 'ave a rain of arrows pickin' us off!"

Riel felt herself being roughly flipped over, and brought face to face with the same face from her nightmares. The same greasy black hair. The same dark, deep set eyes. The same cruel, evil smile. The only thing that was different was now his face was covered in burn scars. Yet that only added to the sinister look of the man as his ruthless eyes looked Riel over from head to toe.

"Wait a minute…. I know 'his one!" the man exclaimed in disbelief. He reached down latched his big palm around Riel's throat and pulled her up, her feet dangling as he easily held her aloft in his one hand. "Well I'll be! It seems 'ere be a Maker afta all…" he smiled, revealing two missing front teeth.

"What is it, boss?"

"Years back, me and me brodher 'ad ourselves a nice 'ittle step up, we did. A bunch o' knife eared bitches we whored out to whoever 'ad da coin. An dhis 'ere is da bitch who ruined it all, she did! Killed me brodher and gave me dese scars!" The man's expression then turned from shock anger, to the lecherous hungry gaze of dirty lust. "I've been hopin' to run inta ya again! How 'bout a roll, dhen?" he laughed, bringing Riel in close to his body. "I wonda, do ya still taste as sweet?" the man asked before licking his tongue along Riel's cheek.

Riel struggled against the hold around her neck, her fingers futilely trying to pry the thick digits from her skin. Suddenly she felt a thick wave of magic swell inside of her. "Never…  **again!** " Riel screamed against the hold on her throat, just as a bolt of electricity ripped through her and arched straight into the man who held her. Cursing in pain, the man dropped Riel to the ground below.

Gasping for breath, Riel didn't waste time on her fear or surprise. Instinct was all she knew, and it everything in her told her to run. And so she did. Pulling on every reserve bit of strength she had, Riel took off at a dead run. Past the man and his men, through the brush and back out into the night.

"Benny!" the man coughed hoarsely.

"Got it, boss!"

Riel ran as fast as she could, jumping over rocks and logs as she went, her only thought to get away. However a deep pain lashed through her suddenly, causing her to crash down to the ground. Looking down at her leg, Riel screamed at the arrow she saw protruding from her upper thigh. Attached to it was some type of rope, and an instant later it went taut, wrenching her back viciously.

"Ya ain't gettin' away 'at easily, ya bitch!" the man screamed angrily as he marched over to Riel.

Frantically Riel tried to pull the arrow from her leg, yet the barbed tip refused to budge. Crying desperately, she instead tried to scramble away, yet the rope on the arrow kept her from moving very far. Riel then felt her body being flipped over roughly, hands grabbing at her body as she flailed against them. Magic sizzled in her fingers, yet it went unused for so long that Riel had trouble focusing her panicked mind in order to unleash it. Instead her body warmed, the inner defensive fire that had always come to her in times of need building under skin. Yet before the flames would be made real, something was tightly wrapped around her neck, sending a paralyzing shock through Riel's whole body.

"Heh, think again, ya knife ear! I gots smart ta ya from the last time!" the man laughed darkly as Riel's body convulsed. "Found me one of 'hose giant freaks from up north, I did. Dey got ways of dealin' wit ya magic types. Managed to git me one of 'heir fancy necklaces. Stops the magic in ya, it does!"

Riel tried screaming yet all she could managed was a small strangled cry as her own body betrayed her. Shocks of electricity cascaded through her, leaving her breathless and weak, unable to even lift her head. Her mind reeling, Riel couldn't move or fight back as she felt herself being lifted from around the waist and draped over the man's shoulder.

"Maybe we'll 'ave a bit o' fun wit ya 'fore I sell ya off!" the man laughed darkly as he carried Riel back to his camp.

"Nice shot Benny!" one of the men exclaimed happily. "I've been itchin' for a roll lately! Ever since leavin' Denerim, I been thinkin' of 'ose bitches down at ta Pearl!"

"This one is mine, ya blighter!" the man holding Riel cursed to his companion. "I've been dreamin' of gettin' hold of dis bitch for years!"

"Awe, come on Rich! I'm sure ta bitch can take a round or two!"

"Heh, play ya for her, Benny!"

"Fine! Ya two can fight o'er what's left! But first poundin' is  **mine!** " Rich, her old master replied in a gleeful sneer.

Riel screamed in out in her mind, unable to move or even whimper as she was flung down to the ground, landing roughly on a dirty bedroll by the fire. Inside, she fought furiously against the mental hold that the magic blocking collar inflicted in her. Yet no matter how hard she demanded her body to move or her lips to scream out, nothing obeyed her. Silently she cried, cursing herself and everything in existence for what she knew was coming.

_Please Mythal no! Please not again! Creators! Mythal! HELP ME!_

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Zevran breathed in heavily, sweat running down his face and back as his eyes focused on the tree in front of him. The poor thing had withstood the brunt of his anger and training well, yet like the three others of that night, was now mostly useless for his desires. Slashed and cut to pieces, the tree was barely more than an upright stick now, the thick bark that used to cover it now laying in pieces at his feet.

Immediately Zevran eyes searched out another tree. Another silent victim to his rage as he battled his inner demons. His inner misery at his own mistakes and failures. Focusing his mind, his well trained eyes looked out into the darkness, missing barely anything.

Perhaps that was why he heard it. At first it was faint, a small sound carried on the wind. Yet it caught hold of his attention and didn't let go. Straining his ears, Zevran looked in the direction of the sound, willing his mind to focus. Again he heard the sound, and this time, there was no mistaking it. The blood curdling sound of a scream echoed through the woods around him. Yet it wasn't just any scream. It was  _her_  scream.

"Riel!" Zevran shouted, immediately launching himself into a run.

The blood in his veins racing as hard as his legs as Zevran sped through the darkness, his whole body tuned to the source of the scream. He would know her voice anywhere, any time. The same voice that called out in her nightmares, screaming for help as she battled her inner enemies. Yet this was no inner enemy she fought. Something was  _very, very_  wrong.

 _Please gods, help me find her!_  Zevran prayed as he ran, his eyes searching the darkness for any signs of life for movement. A flicker of light brought his attention to his left, his eyes narrowing on the faint source. His instincts screaming at him, Zevran slowed, his dagger in his hand as he cautiously approached the light source.

Years of training came back to him, as Zevran sheathed his blade and swiftly climbed up a tree, gaining a vantage point to better see. Yet what his highly evolved eyes witnessed sent his blood raging in pure fury.

"No cheatin' ya lout!" a chubby man sneered to another, lankier man beside him. The two of them huddled over their cards while by the fire, Zevran witnessed a much larger man pin a small elven frame underneath him.

"I ain't-" the lankier man started before his voice was cut off. The chubbier man looked up from his cards just in time to see his companion lurch over, a throwing knife lodged deep in his eye.

"Bloody 'ell!" he screamed, backing up and looking around, his shrewd eyes searching the darkness.

Silently Zevran dropped down from his perch. His face a mask of anger and fury, he came up the man and dragged his dagger deeply across the chubby man's throat. Blood gurgled out as he tried to yell out a warning, his voice being lost in the rush of red liquid the poured out. With a thud he fell to the ground, his hands futilely clasping at the his throat as he died.

The man by the fire skittered off the body beneath him, going for the sword that laid not a food away and grasping it in his hand. With the skill of a trained warrior he then leapt to his feet, staring down Zevran with a deadly glare.

"Who the fuck are you?!" the man sputtered, his eyes quickly going to his fallen men before going back to the elven male in front of him.

"I am someone death hides from, for even it fears what I can do," Zevran sneered evilly, taking a step towards the man. "I am the nightmare demons run in horror from. I am that which the gods themselves quake when I walk past, averting their eyes so not to garner my wrath." Zevran leveled his blades at the man, his eyes sparking vicious and deadly fire. "And now I will show you  **why!** "

In a blink Zevran attacked, his blades cutting and slashing out, seeking out flesh and bone. The man was not without skill, however, and met Zevran's attack head on. Together they went back and forth, their blades singing as they cut through the air around them. Zevran's quicker strikes being met equally by the man's hard thrusts of his long sword. Yet Zevran did not relent. Repeatedly he struck out, craving the blood of the man with a desperate and foul need that screamed out from his very being.

Their blades clashed together, their faces brought to within inches of each other. Yet the man laughed, despite how many cuts now covered his body.

"Want ta turn wit the knife eared bitch too, do ya?" the man laughed darkly before using his superior upper body strength to push Zevran away. "Sorry, but I 'ink I ruined 'er a bit. No worries, though. Many more where she came from. Although, she did taste bloody sweet on me lips!"

Zevran didn't breathe. Didn't think. All he saw and felt was the anger that boiled in him as he sped forward, twisting his body just as the man slashed his sword down. Yet for of his strength, the was a slow oaf compared to Zevran's speed and agility. With a well experienced turn of his body, Zevran struck out, bringing his blades against the man's inner arms, disabling his attacks. Then in quick succession, Zevran slashed again, cutting deep into each of the man's thighs, forcing him to drop down to the ground.

The man screamed in pain as Zevran cut through the man's exposed calves, the daggers slicing down deep to the bone. Then with a flick of his wrist, Zevran did the same to the man's upper arms, cutting through tendon and muscle, completely disabling him. Then with a few quick cuts, Zevran removed the buckles holding the man's leather armor in place, before pushing it aside with the toe of his foot.

The skills and training of his past centered in his mind, Zevran expertly sliced down the man's back, effectively leaving him prone and unable to move. Yet still he breathed, even as he bled from the multiple cuts along his body.

"You will not die easily,  _usted hijo de puta_ ," Zevran seethed as he stepped around the man's body. He then knelt down, meeting his burning gaze with the man's fear filled eyes. "When I am through with you, even the Maker himself will not be able to recognize you." Zevran than stood, his eyes searching out the small form by the fire. Quickly he sheathed his daggers and went over to her.

Falling to his knees by her side, Zevran brought his face down to hers. Tears filled his eyes, his previous anger and fury gone as he looked down on Riel's bruised face. Her wide eyes shined with tears, her mouth working in silent gasps.

"You are safe,  _mi bella_ … I-... I am here…" Zevran whispered, his voice breaking as he carefully pushed aside her hair from her face.

Zevran then quickly reached down, snapping the exposed part of the arrow that protruded from her thigh in half and tossing the excess away. Then carefully he pulled her into his arms, cradling her close to his chest as he slowly stood with her. With a sure stride Zevran carried her away from the camp and towards a small stream that trickled a short distance away. There he gently laid her down on the soft grass.

"Can you speak?" Zevran asked, his voice hoarse with sadness.

Riel wanted to scream, to cry, to pull at the evil thing that bound both her body and her magic. Yet all she could manage to do was slightly lift her head, hoping that he would see the collar that was wrapped tightly around her neck. Zevran cursed at her silence, his mind searching itself for what to do. Only when the moon above glinted on the metal clasp on her neck did he finally notice the collar that held her.

"By the Void!" he cursed, his hands quickly moving to unfasten the tight metal clasp. Yet it refused to unlatch no matter how hard he pulled on it. Thinking quickly, Zevran reached behind him and pulled out his dagger. Leaning down so their noses almost touched, Zevran met her eyes with his own. "Trust me,  _mi bella_ …" he whispered, hating the look of fear in her eyes as he brought his dagger to her throat.

With a sure cut, Zevran sliced through the magic binding collar. Riel screamed then. An ear piercing, wailing cry that ripped free from her lips with the force of a gale storm. Her arms flailed about, suddenly free from their paralysing stillness. Yet even as she thrashed, Zevran held her to him, whispering softly to her in Antivan.

"I am here, Riel. It is only I. You are safe. I promise you, you are safe…" he whispered to her over and over again as she screamed and cried out in bitter agony. After a few moments, Zevran felt her latch on to him, her sobs coming more even now as she cried against his neck and chest. He held on to her like that, her small body convulsing in sobs and tears as she let loose all the emotion that had built within her but was unable to release due to the collar.

"Oh Zevran," she moaned, her tears hot against his skin. "I am so sorry…"

Zevran pulled back from her slightly, just enough to look her in the eyes. "You have nothing -  _ **nothing**_  to be sorry for, Riel. This is not on you. Do you understand me?" Riel nodded sadly, fat tears tears still falling down her face. "I need to see to your wound, now,  _mi bella_. Will you allow me?"

Unable to speak, Riel just nodded her again. Zevran placed a soft kiss against her forehead before pulling back and shifting his weight further to her side. Cursing to himself, Zevran looked at the wound in her leg. He had removed the feathered end that held the rope, yet the wood of the arrow was spiked on the shaft. A cruel weapon, it was meant not to kill, but to disable. To torture and cause as much damage as possible as it tore through flesh and bone.

Zevran quickly scanned the ground near him, looking for anything that could help. With a curse, Zevran quickly removed his armor then pulled his inner tunic over his head. Using his teeth, Zevran ripped through the fabric, shredding it into several pieces. Then taking one piece, he wound it tightly into a cord before leaning back into Riel's sight.

"I need to remove the arrow..." Zevran stated softly, pain lancing his chest as he looked into her eyes. "I am going to place this in your mouth. It will help," his voice broke as she nodded to him, opening her mouth slightly. Zevran gently placed the corded cloth into her mouth, his heart breaking again over the look of cold determination in her eyes. "I will be as quick as I can. I promise."

Zevran then turned his focus to the arrow, his previous anger surfacing slightly as he looked at the horrible piece of wood sticking from her skin. Carefully he lifted her leg, one hand gently cradling her calf while his other hand grabbed hold of the barbed head end of the arrow. "Forgive me," he whispered sadly, his gaze holding on to Riel's silver eyes. With a grimace, Zevran felt his own blood drip from his hand as the barbs and spikes dug into his flesh. Yet he ignored the pain as he gripped the end tightly in his palm. Then with one swift motion he ripped the foul thing from her flesh.

Riel screamed again, the sound searing itself deep into Zevran's soul, sure to haunt his nightmares for years to come. Quickly Zevran tossed the arrow shaft to the side and reached for another strip of the fabric that once was his tunic. Using it as bandage, he wrapped it tightly around Riel's thigh, keeping her from bleeding out.

Zevran then laid himself next to Riel, gathering her in his arms as she cried in painful sobs. Holding her in a gentle yet firm embrace, he tried his best to comfort her. Stroking her back and hair, Zevran softly whispered Antivan to her. The words a jumble of love and sorrow. Of regret and future promises. The meaning not in his words, but the feeling they allowed him to convey to her as he held her against him.

When finally her cries slowed, Zevran looked down at her, his eyes filled with their own unshed tears. Yet he couldn't allow himself to break down. Not yet. Not when she still needed him. Gently he caressed her face, wiping away and drying the tears that drenched her skin. In silence, they stared at each other like that for a short time. Both unable to find the words they wanted to say.

It was only the knowledge that his work was still not done that finally managed to force the words past his tongue. "Know that you are safe here,  _mi bella_. However, there is still something that I must see to. I will not be far, nor will I be gone long."

A flicker of fear danced across Riel's features and Zevran inwardly cursed. Yet he couldn't leave things unfinished. After placing a soft kiss to her forehead, Zevran took one of his daggers and placed it into Riel's trembling grasp.

"You will not need this, for I will not be far. Know that even though you may not see me, you are  _safe_ , Riel. Do you trust me?" Riel nodded her head, fresh tears falling down her cheeks. Gently Zevran brushed them aside with the back of his fingers. Spending one more heartbeat looking into her eyes, Zevran then quickly stood and disappeared from her sight.

Riel wasn't exactly sure how long she laid there, looking up at the stars through the trees above her. Coming from somewhere beyond her sight, agonized screams echoed out, yet they didn't belong to her or Zevran. And in a strange and twisted way, the pained screams comforted her. Soothed the angry and bitter part of her soul that found joy in the knowledge that whatever was happening, it was well deserved. Riel's only regret was that she was not the one holding the blade that finally ended the gurgled cries.

Silence then filled the area around her. The cries of her old master no doubt quieted by Zevran's blades. And inside, Riel heart leapt in thrilling joy. A cruel and satisfied smile twisting her lips as she watched the stars twinkle above her. Then came the sound of Zevran's footsteps along the grass. However, he don't come straight to her. Instead, Riel heard the splashing of water on flesh.

Only after a few minutes of washing did Zevran rejoin her. Lying next to her on the grass, he pulled her once more into her arms and held on to her. Feeling a sob choke in his throat, he cursed against her neck, tears pricking at his eyes despite how hard to tried to hold them back. Even seeing to what little justice he could give her, it was not enough.

"You came for me…" Riel whispered softly.

"I always will,  _mi bella_. Even though you hate me. I will  _always_  come for you."

"I don't hate you…" she replied, squeezing him against her briefly.

Zevran heard her words, yet he couldn't trust them. Not when there was still so much that he had yet to make up for. Not when he wasn't quick enough to save her. Not really. The images of what he came across seared into his mind like a horrible nightmare, mocking him and all of his previous promises to her. Everyone now lying bare and broken between them. If there was any time when he felt less deserving of her, it was then. His one last promise to protect her from the horrors of her past now forever shattered.

"Will you let me take you back to camp?" Zevran breathed, almost expecting her to turn her down. For her gratefulness at being rescued by him to wear thin and be replaced with her anger at him for his failure to protect her.

"Take me back," she whispered softly.

Zevran nodded against her, before gathering her into his arms and standing with her. Her head resting against his bare chest as he cradled her, Zevran carried her the distance back to the shared camp. The walk silent, even as Zevran's mind screamed and wailed inside of him. The echoes of Riel's screams ricocheting around his consciousness, as the images of her lying prone and helpless flashing before his eyes.

"By the Maker! Riel!" Leliana yelled out when the two of them got close to the camp they shared. "Wynne! Morrigan! Hurry!" the bard called out as she rushed over to Zevran.

"What- oh my!" Wynne breathed as she ran over.

Zevran could just imagine the sight he presented to the women. Barechested and covered in blood as he carried her. Riel lying in his arms, cuts and abrasions covering her naked skin. Her armor gone, her tunic ripped and bloodied on her body. Bruises covering her face.

"Zevran! What happened?" Leliana asked him, her green eyes searching his for answers.

"She needs aid. Question me later, after she is seen to," Zevran stated firmly, gaining a nod from the woman.

"Bring her over to my tent, Zevran. I will tend to her there," Wynne stated, motioning towards her tent. Zevran nodded to the older mage, too many words choking him to say much more. Carefully he ducked inside the woman's tent, before he gently laid Riel down on the bedroll there. Once she was free from his embrace, Zevran backed away, letting Wynne past him to see to her.

"She-... She has a wound in her leg," Zevran choked out, remembering her scream when he removed the arrow.

Wynne's years of experience as a healer took over, her eyes going over Riel's body and noting each injury the woman had. She then closed her eyes and brought forth her healing magic, pouring the blue light into Riel's body below. Through this whole time, Riel kept her eyes fixed on Zevran's, even when her back arched as the blue light filled her.

"Tell me what happened," Wynne finally said. "I cannot heal her properly unless I know."

"She…. -" Zevran stopped, unable to form the words in his mouth. The horror of his failure like a weight holding down his tongue.

Suddenly Leliana was by his side, her small body taking up what little room there was left inside of the tent. Her hand came up to rest on Zevran's cheek, bringing his gaze to hers. "Tell us, Zevran… please…"

"Slavers…" he finally managed to say, a hot tear running down his cheek and solidifying his disgrace.

"Was she…" Wynne stopped, cringing at the words that she had to ask. "When you came upon her. Did they…"

Zevran snapped his eyes shut and nodded his head, the truth of it still too much for him to bear. Wynne cursed under her breath, shaking her head in sadness. "I need you to leave the tent, Zevran," Wynne stated firmly after a moment.

"Of-... of course," he whispered shamefully, quickly pulling away from Leliana's friendly touch and exiting the tent.

"Leliana, I need you to go get Morrigan. Find her. And tell her to bring her herb satchel. Go now, child! This must be done quickly!"


	41. All the Ways to Say It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Chapter rated M (mature) 18+ for adult content.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Maldita sea todo al Vacío!: Antivan. "Damn it all to the Void!"
> 
> Diosa: Antivan. "Goddess."
> 
> Da'len: Elvhen. "Little child, or little one."
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Te amo: Antivan. "I love you."
> 
> Je t'aime: Orlesian. "I love you."
> 
> Ar lath ma: Elvhen. "I love you."
> 
> Emma lath: Elvhen. "My love."

Zevran paced outside of Wynne's tent, his mind a horror show of images and sounds. What he did to those slavers - that wasn't what haunted him. What he did was only a short yet well deserved metting out of justice to dregs who had earned their end. A small piece to repay Riel for his failure. Yet it wasn't enough. Nothing ever will be, again.

Sighing, Zevran turned just in time to briefly see a fist headed straight at him.

"You evil asshole! What did you do to her?!" Alistair roared as his punch landed hard against Zevran's jaw.

Alistair had came back to the camp earlier, his feet leading him as per usual back to the fire that they all shared each night. Back to the source of his misery. Despite the evidence he had shown of the assassin's betrayal, Riel had avoided Alistair since leaving Orzammar. So too had all the women, even Wynne. Sten barely spoke much anymore, and Oghren was usually drunk off his arse every evening. Shale - the stone golem who turned out to actually be the soul of a dwarven women - was her usual snarky self.

If Alistair was honest with himself, the only reason he stayed with them was for Riel. To the Void with the mission against the Blight and Archedmon. What he really cared about was keeping Riel safe. Whether that be from Darkspawn, or the duplicitous nature of the assassin elf. Both as dangerous to his Riel in Alistair's mind. Both in sore need of death, as well.

And nothing brought that rage of protection closer than when he saw that assassin carry Riel back into camp a few minutes ago. Both of them covered in blood, with her naked and motionless in his arms…. The elf without even a shirt on! It was obvious that something horrible had happened, and it was obvious that the elf was at the source of it all.

Alistair struck his fist out again, landing solidly in Zevran's abdomen and knocking the air out of him. Another strike against the elf's jaw saw him down on the ground, lying on his back. Yet he didn't fight back. Even when Alistair kicked his metal boot into the man's chest, sending him rolling away, still Zevran refused to even defend himself.

"Alistair! Stop it!" Leliana yelled out, pulling Alistair back from going after Zevran once more.

"He did this, Leliana!" roared Alistair, his face reddened with fury.

"No he didn't!" she screamed back at him. "Blessed Maker, he  _saved_  her from slavers you idiot!"

Alistair paused, looking back and forth between Leliana's angry scowl and Zevran's prone body several feet away. His mind working through her words, he growled as he walked over to Leliana. "How is she?"

"I don't know," Leliana answered truthfully.

"What do you mean, you ' _don't know_ '? Weren't you just in the tent with her and Wynne?!"

"Wynne needs me to go get Morrigan. Which I was about to do before I saw you beating up on Zevran for no reason!"

"Why do you need Morrigan? Can't Wynne heal her?"

"There are…  _complications…_ "

"What is that supposed to mean?" demanded Alistair.

"Zevran! I need you!" Wynne called out from inside her tent.

Immediately Zevran was on his feet and rushing over to the tent, as agile and sure footed as ever despite the beating he just received. Yet Alistair maneuvered to block his way, refusing to budge. "You're  **not**  going in there, assassin!"

"Zevran!" Wynne called again.

Zevran met Alistair hard gaze with his own. "You will let me pass to tend to the Lady Warden or I will do to  _you_  what I did to those slavers who harmed her!" seethed Zevran, his hatred for the man plain in his voice.

"By the Fade!" Wynne yelled out a moment before a bright light shot through the fabric of the tent.

"Zevran!" Riel screamed out, sending Zevran ducking around the ex-Templar and rushing into the tent behind him.

Inside, Riel laid crying on the bedroll while Wynne crouched over her, trying futilely to put out the flames that leapt from Riel's body. Not yet at a full blaze, still the fire that seemed born from Riel's very skin burned and singed the blanket that Wynne was using to try and oust the flames. Not caring for his own safety, Zevran knelt down beside Riel and took her face in his hands, forcing her to look up on him.

"Riel! Listen to me! You are safe! You are safe…" he repeated to her, holding her gaze with his own.

The fire that sprang from her body burned everything around her, leaving char marks in the bedroll and blanket that Wynne held. Yet even with touching her directly, the fire that protected Riel did not harm him. It was warm to his skin, however it did not burn his flesh as it tried to do with Wynne's. As it had burned everything that it had touched around her.

"Zevran…?" Riel cried softly, her hand coming up to touch his face.

"I am here,  _mi bella_. You are safe here. Trust in me…" he whispered to her, caressing her scarred cheek with his thumb.

Riel breathed in deeply, her nerves settling as she felt his touch on her. Slowly the flames retreated, going back into her skin and disappearing. Closing her eyes, Riel let herself relax, breathing in his scent and losing herself the feel of his hands on her face. "Stay with me….  _please…_ " she whispered softly.

"I will  _never_  leave you,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran purred, positioning himself so that he laid beside her on the now burned and charred bedroll.

"Why don't you take her back to your tent, Zevran?" Wynne said after a few moments of silence. "The type of healing she needs is not something that I can offer her."

"Will you come with me,  _mi bella_?" he asked, keeping his eyes on Riel.

"I-... I don't want to be seen…" she cried in his hands.

"No one will," Wynne assured. She then gathered her long robes about her and exited the tent.

A small commotion could be heard outside. A jumble of whispers and Alistair's cursing. Then came the sound of feet walking away, leaving behind it a deep silence. Still Zevran kept hold of Riel's face, staring at her as he gently caressed her cheek. When the silence continued and no other sounds could be heard, Zevran leaned in and place a soft kiss upon Riel's forehead.

"I will take you now, if you will allow it?" he asked her. Riel nodded, her eyes glistening. "Do not worry,  _mi bella_. I will be gentle with you."

"I know," she whispered back to him, her voice raw.

Zevran sat up and took her into his arms once more. Then with careful yet sure movements, carried her free from Wynne's tent. Outside the campfire flickered and licked at the wood that fed it, yet it was the only thing that moved in the darkness. Even the stoic forms of Sten and Shale could not be seen as Zevran carried Riel the short distance to their shared tent. Then just as careful as before, he ducked them both side the tent and laid her gently down on the bedroll.  _One_  of the bedrolls, it seemed to be. As two now laid side by side upon the ground. Whether Riel had done that herself, or someone else, Zevran didn't know. He only knew that he was grateful for it.

Zevran then reached down to the pile of fabrics at her feet and pulled up a blanket to cover her with. Riel closed her eyes and inched her body closer to his, her small frame trembling despite the added blanket. Zevran wrapped his arms around her, offering her his own heat as well.

Together they laid like that for a long while. With her in his arms, resting with evened breathes and dry eyes. Yet Zevran knew that despite her quietness, she didn't sleep. For too long had he mesmerized her sleeping form to mistake her quiet repose with that of sleep. Not that he blamed her in the slightest. Even with his own deep exhaustion upon him, Zevran didn't fall asleep.  _Couldn't_  fall asleep. Not when so many terrible images still flickered in his mind. The memory of her screams echoing still in his ears.

"I believe you," Riel whispered after a long time.

"Hmm?" Zevran answered quietly, confused. "About what?"

"The letter. And Denerim."

Zevran felt his eye cloud, yet he blinked the wetness away. "I would have  _ **never**_  betrayed you,  _mi bella_."

"I know."

They were quiet again for a period of time. Each thinking their own thoughts and fighting their own inner nightmares. Riel's mind jumping back and forth between the good memories spent with Zevran and the nightmarish times she had spent at the mercy of others. Thinking of all the things she had lost, and everything that he had gained in return. And then going to the long road ahead of her that she still had to travel. The battle against Darkspawn and the Blight.

With her head pressed against Zevran's chest, listening to the lulling sound of his heartbeat, Riel's mind drifted back to a dream she had a little while ago. Mostly forgotten, aspects of it still clung to her mind. Feelings if not images or real memories. And out of the clouded mess of the barely remembered dream, a soft motherly like voice reached out to her. Speaking to her. Calming her.

_You have been through much, da'len. However, your trials are far from over. Things harder than anything you have yet faced still await in the shadows, looking for a weakness to destroy you._

_Events sometimes have a life of their own, taking people places that they were never to be. And now that they find themselves there, the only thing that they can do is continue on. To move forward._

_When one carries a load meant for several, the weight always seems too heavy to continue on._

_A person can live in pain and not wish to cause pain to others because of it. However, a person who has lived without love may wish to love others, but simply just doesn't know how to love._

_Sometimes the most powerful things we ever say are never said with words. Sometimes the actions we take - or didn't know that we are taking - speak far louder than the words that we did not say._

Riel thought deeply on the words that echoed to her out of her memory. She couldn't remember who said them to her, yet somehow she knew to trust in them. To lay aside her doubts and her fears. To just simply follow the beating of her heart. The heart she now heard, beating in a steady rhythm from the chest next to hers.

"Zevran?" Riel whispered against his chest.

"Yes,  _mi bella_?"

"I love you."

Zevran pulled her tighter against him, almost squeezing her against his body. She felt his body shake suddenly, small tremors that rocked through him. Fearful that something was wrong, she lifted her head to look up at him. His handsome face was drenched in tears, his honeyed eyes red and swollen from them. The trembling she felt was his quiet sobbing, unable to be restrained despite his best efforts.

"Zevran?" she said softly, lifting her hand up to wipe at his cheek.

Zevran closed his eyes as he felt her touch on his skin. "Forgive me,  _mi bella_. But I do not deserve your kindness. And especially not your love."

"Why do you say that?"

"I have failed you. So terribly, and completely," he cried, opening his eyes to look on her. "Every promise I made to you…. Every oath I swore…. I have failed them all…."

"You promised to always love me. Is that broken now, too?" she asked, her voice wavering.

"No! Never!" Zevran rushed out. "I could  **never**  stop loving you."

"Then you haven't broken  _every_  promise, have you?" Riel smiled softly.

"But is it enough?"  _Is my love enough?_

" _Always_ , Zevran. Always," she whispered to him before placing a light kiss against his lips.

There was a slight scratching at the tent flap behind Zevran, making him mentally curse. He didn't want to let go of her. Even for just a moment. A dark fear in his mind that the moment that he did, she would come to her senses and see just how unworthy he was to touch her. Yet again the scratching came again, the sound too purposeful to be accidental.

" _Maldita sea todo al Vacío_!" Zevran hissed out quietly. Sighing, he looked down at Riel. "Forgive me if I have to murder someone," he then stated, placing a quick kiss to her forehead.

Riel giggled softly to herself as he turned from her. Zevran pulled back the tent flap, fully ready to stab anyone who disturbed their peace. Yet no one waited on the other side. In fact, Zevran could not see anyone through the break in the fabric. The only thing that was different was sitting just outside the tent was a large bowl of water, and a folded washcloth.

Again Zevran's eyes looked around, searching for the one person who would have left such an offering. Yet the woman with the cherry-red hair and far too kind of a personality was nowhere to be seen. Sighing, Zevran offered a quiet thank you to her as he brought in the bowl and wash cloth. Testing the water, he was surprised to find it warm to the touch. Smiling, he set it to the side before turning to face Riel again.

Laying down on the bedroll next to him, Zevran stared down at her beauty. So very strong she was. Ready and willing to face down an Archdemon for people who would just as easily hate her as look on her. Risking her life for humans who have repeatedly hurt and abused her for years. Yet still she fought to protect them. To protect everyone.

"Will you let me wash you,  _mi bella_?" he asked her quietly.

Riel nodded her head, her eyes misting as she looked up at him. Zevran smiled softly as he took the cloth and rinsed it in the warm water. He then started with her right hand, washing each finger carefully. When each one was wiped clean, he lifted it to his lips where he placed a soft kiss to each tip.

Gently he moved up her arm, his own eyes misting at the raw skin he found there. Zevran had noticed how she wore stripes of leather wrapped along her arms, yet he didn't feel it was his place to ask her why. Yet looking at the redness now, he inwardly cursed at his inattentiveness. He should have known how she abused herself. Should have stopped her. Said something….

"I felt so  _dirty…_ " Riel whispered then, noticing his pained expression as he looked at her arms. "I wanted to wash it all away. The hurt. The pain. The curse of who I am."

Zevran's eyes met hers, a shine building in his honeyed depths. "You are beautiful,  _mi bella_. Just the way you are." Zevran then lowered his head to her arm, placing soft kisses from her wrist up to her shoulder. "No matter what happens. No matter what burdens you undertake. You will  _always_  be beautiful to me."

Zevran then repeated his actions on her other hand and arm. Placing soft kisses everywhere he wiped clean. Only stopping to rinse out the cloth every now and then, Zevran washed her clean from all everything that covered her. His cleaning of her more than just a simple wiping down of her skin. Much more than just removing the dirt and blood from her. It was as if he were washing her anew. Cleaning away the darkness that had happened to her in the past. His kisses his seal of acceptance of her. Each press of his lips a new vow. A new promise to her.

With her arms now clean, Zevran shifted himself downwards. Lifting a corner of the blanket that covered her, he set about washing down her leg. His gentle hands caressing her as much as he washed her.

His hands paused over the pink mark in her skin where the arrow had punctured her skin. With the memory of her scream echoing in his mind, Zevran again inwardly cursed. Slowly he bent his head down, his lips brushing lightly against the puckered mark left behind. The scar that will develop becoming an eternal reminder to him of his failure to protect her.

Zevran then continued with his cloth, keeping well below and away from the juncture of her hips. He instead placed his focus on the outside of her thighs and down to her knee, then moving slowly down to her calves and ankles. When her leg was fully washed, he covered it with the blanket once more, then did the same to the other leg. Making sure to keep the cloth from going too high, Zevran washed her down completely with his gently caresses.

Finished with her lower limbs, he covered her again before rinsing the cloth once more. Zevran then shifted himself so that he could once again reach her face. Slowly he ran the cloth down one side of her neck, wiping away the blood that transferred to her from him. The blood of the ones who did this to her.

 _No… do not ruin this by thinking of them_  Zevran chastised himself, pushing the thoughts from his mind. Rinsing the cloth, he continued to wipe her down, bringing his mind instead to how lovely she was. Not just how she looked. Everything about her. From her creamy white skin to the way she fought in the heat of battle, to the way she smiled up at him sweetly when he pleased her in some small way. The way she fused inner vulnerability with an iron will stronger than he had ever known. She was everything to him. Everything that he ever dreamed of, and everything that he didn't even know that he wanted.

Wiping down her face, Zevran paid special attention to her lips and smile. Making sure the grime and dirt from her nightmare was gone from her beautiful face. He then leaned down and kissed her softly, taking care to place and pressure on her.

"This reminds me of the last time you wiped me down…" she whispered against his lips, breaking the sweet silence between them. "In the Deep Roads. Do you remember?"

"I remember everything with you,  _mi bella_ ," he replied softly.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about-"

"Shh…. There is nothing to apologize for. You have  _never_  done anything wrong."

"I should have told you."

"You would have. In your own time," he assured her, smiling.

"I don't want any more secrets between us, Zevran."

He looked in her eyes, his honey meeting her silver. "Unless it is save your life, I will never keep anything from you. I swear it."

" _Zevran_ ," she groaned.

" _Mi bella_ , I have failed you far too many times as it is. I cannot risk you again. I  _ **will**_  protect you. Even if you hate me for it."

Riel reached up and ran her fingers along his cheek. "I won't hate you, Zevran. I can't ever say that I won't be angry with you. But I won't ever hate you. I can't." Riel smiled sadly before adding "I've tried."

Zevran then leaned down and kissed her, his lips a gentle touch on her own. "And I will do my best to keep from ever giving you another reason to try again, Riel."

Riel pulled him down to her, kissing him deeply. Caution screamed in his mind, however, keeping him from pressing himself too much into her. Even as he returned her kiss, Zevran followed her lead for how deep and hard the kiss went, making sure to keep his body from hers. A shiver went through Riel though, causing Zevran to pull back slightly.

"Riel…" he whispered to her, his words lost in throat.

Riel's hand covered his own, bringing it and the cloth he held to her chest. "Clean me, please," she said softly to him, her eyes pleading with his.

Zevran nodded his head before rinsing out the cloth. He then brought the cloth to her chest, wiping away the dirt and grime that marred her skin. Yet he stayed above the line of the blanket, keeping his gently wipes only to the upper part of her chest. However, Riel once more took hold of his hand as she shook her head.

" _Clean_  me, Zevran…" she whispered, bringing his hand down under the blanket to her breast. " _Please_ …." she cried softly, pulling away the blanket that covered her.

"A treasure beyond words…" Zevran softly echoed the words that came to his mind as he looked down on her.

Zevran used the cloth in his hand to wipe across her breast, his eyes latched to her own. Searching, watching, waiting to see any sign that she was uncomfortable or wished for him to stop. Yet none came. So he moved the cloth again, wiping down her other breast. Through the cloth he cupped and felt her, taking a chance to run his bare thumb over her exposed nipple. Instead of shying away from his touch like he expected, Riel instead arched into it. Lifting her back slightly of the bedroll, her eyes showed not fear but love. Love and a need that went deeply beyond just physical caresses and sweet words.

Riel kept her eyes on his as she guided his hand across his chest. Wiping, caressing, and loving her all at the same time. She then moved his hand lower, over her ribs and down to her stomach. Her hand overtop his as they cleaned her skin together. Then down even further, to her hips. Zevran took a moment to rinse the cloth before returning it to her, his eyes not leaving hers. However when she brought his hand down further, over to her pubic bone, Zevran tightly squeezed his eyes shut.

The memory of her underneath that  _monster…_. Unable to move or fight back, totally helpless to what he was doing to her…

"Stay here…. With  _me…_ " she beckoned to him, placing a hand on his cheek.

"I should have gotten there sooner…" his voice broke as he whispered to her.

"Wash it away…  _please_ …"

Zevran lowered his head, lightly pressing his forehead against hers. With his eyes on hers, he let her hand guide him lower, wiping gently at the juncture between her thighs. The thin fabric of the cloth the only thing separating his hand from her core, Zevran cursed at himself. Cursing at the heat he felt there and how his own body responded to it. The bastard length of his own twitching behind his trousers, something she surely felt against her hip.

Yet again she didn't shy away when Zevran expected her to. Instead she smiled at him, a slow, seductive smile that turned her features even more beautiful to him. Down at her core, her fingers were on his own as they wiped at her skin together. And with a slight movement, Zevran felt her push his fingers past the slit of her core and inside of deep warmth there.

"Riel…. I-" he started, his mind torn between what he knew he should do and what his body wanted to do.

"I need new memories, Zevran… Something to wipe away the feeling of…." she stopped, her eyes misting.

"Are you sure? So soon?"

"The longer we wait, the longer I feel  _him_  on me…" Riel cried softly. "I  _can't_  let him ruin this. Not again. Not after everything we have shared… Please Zevran. Remind me what love is."

"On one condition,  _mi bella_ …" he breathed, staring hard into her eyes. "No regrets."

Riel smiled, thinking back to their second time together. "No regrets," she assured him.

Zevran than kissed her, allowing his passion for her free. The relief he felt with her in his arms mixing with the love he felt for her, feeding the need inside of him. And she returned it all. The passion. The need. The love. Her own love matching the glorious love that bloomed in his chest as he felt her press her body against his.

Riel ran her tongue against his, eliciting a deep moan from him. Smiling against his lips, she did it again, getting another moan. She then left his lips, running her tongue down to his jaw where she placed a playful bite against the bone there. Her fingers danced on his skin, following by memory the swirl of the tattoos that covered his chest.

Hearing his sweet moan in Riel's ears destroyed the memory of the heavy breathing of another. The smell of his need on his skin doing away with the scent of alcohol and foul deeds in her nose. The spices and sunshine pulling on better memories in her mind, keeping her mind focused on where she was instead of where her fears tried to drag her to. The feel of his familiar body pressed next to hers was the final anchor she needed, allowing her to stay fully with him in this one moment.

Yet even with her assurances, Riel felt Zevran holding himself back from her. His hands holding her carefully instead of seeking out to pleasure her. The emotional distance he placed between them cut like a knife into her chest. "Touch me, Zevran…" she pleaded against his neck.

"I-I am afraid too…" he hoarsely responded, hating his weakness yet obeying his promise to not hide things from her.

"Please don't him ruin this… Not this…. Not us…." she whispered, her voice wavering.

Riel took his hand in hers the guided it to her breast. The weight of his palm on her flesh brought out a moan from her lips, her eyes closing. Her small hand then squeezed his, causing him to cup and press his hand into the mound there. Riel's hips moved against his, bringing out his own moan.

_She was his goddess_

_Beauty and love incarnate_

_Passion and devotion were his gifts to her_

_He, her ever faithful follower and lover._

The simple truth of it all came to his mind as he felt her begin to writhe against him. He was being a fool, Zevran realized. Holding himself hostage against fears that even she was willing to overcome. And here he was, a coward to them, while once again Riel showed him just how strong and brave that she was.

 _Blessed gods, I thank you_ … Zevran prayed, finally allowing himself to break free from his fear and let his passion for this woman through.

Zevran rolled himself over to her, keeping his weight off her yet still covering her body with his own. "I want to love you,  _mi bella…_  Will you let me…?" his whispered seductively into her ear.

"Creators yes, Zevran…" Riel moaned, running her fingers along his back.

Zevran licked and nuzzled the skin along her neck, finding delight in how she moaned and held on to him tighter. His hands then skidded down the side of her body, stopping briefly to cup at her breast and massage the flesh there. "You feel so good under my touch, do you know that,  _mi bella_?" Zevran placed a kiss against her collarbone, letting his tongue flick at her skin there. "And you sound so beautiful when you moan for me."

"I like hearing you moan as well," Riel laughed softly before running her nails along his back.

Zevran hissed out a moan, his head lifting up as his back arched. Growling deeply in his throat, Zevran let more of his control slip. Ducking his head back down, he took her breast in his mouth. With a swirling tongue he tasted and suckled at her while she writhed and moaned under him.

His hand then flowed down her body, over her ribs and to her hips. Squeezing her hips gently, his hand then continued further south. Down to her core, where with his expert hands he cupped her. The heat and wetness there invading his sense of touch, causing him to moan in approval.

"You have no idea how good you feel to me,  _mi bella_ …" his groaned against her flesh. "Your soft heat… The way your body moves as I touch you…" Zevran slipped a finger past her folds, delighting fully in her pleasured gasp. "Do you know just thinking about you excites me?" he purred before placing another finger into her.

"Zevran…!"

"Watching you everyday, even when you fight… Sometimes after a battle, it is all I can do just to keep myself from taking you. Right there and then…." Zevran smiled smugly as he felt her burst apart in his hands. Her hips bucking and writhing as he massaged her insides with his fingers. "You look so wild. So free. When the battle is over and you stand victorious over your enemies, you are every bit the  _diosa_  I see you as."

Riel pulled him to her, kissing him hard and long as he worked her body with his fingers. Her hands drifted down his body, her nails occasionally biting at his flesh as they moved further down. When the came to his hips, Riel pulled the tie holding up his trousers.

"Does my goddess need something of her faithful servant?" Zevran purred to her, a wicked smile on his lips.

Instead of answering, Riel dipped her hand inside his trousers and took hold of him. Zevran hissed out another moan, his eyes squeezing shut in pleasure. "I need  _you_ …" she whispered lustfully.

"And you shall  _always_  have me…"

Zevran quickly shed the red of his clothing before pulling Riel astride him. Looking up at her, again Zevran marveled at his luck. To find her. To have her. To have her want him just as he wanted her. It was all a miracle beyond his understanding. Yet he would take it. And he would hold on to it for as long as he could.

Riel ran her hands along his chest, her nails finding the swirls of his tattoos. Zevran moaned, his eyes hooded and heavy with desire for her. He then pulled her down to him, kissing her deeply. Down between his legs, his shaft strained and throbbed, yet he would wait for her to be ready for him. To take him into her on her own terms, as he always did.

"Tell me you love me," Riel whispered against his lips.

Zevran took her scarred cheek into his hand, looking deeply into her eyes. " _Te amo. Je t'aime._ _Ar lath ma._ In a thousand different ways, and in a thousand different languages, I love you, Riel."

"I love you too…." Riel smiled as she slid down herself onto him. Together they moaned in unison as he filled her.

Bracing her hands on his chest, she began to move, finding a sweet rhythm all her own. Zevran lightly placed his hands on Riel's hips, not guiding her, just holding her as she moved at her own pace. Slowly she rode him, twisting her hips in different ways as she sought her pleasure. It was a delirious torture, feeling her ride him, and one that Zevran loved every moment of.

Suddenly she quicked her pace, her delicious heat grasping and pulling at him as she rode him hard and fast. Zevran felt his eyes roll back into his head, intense pleasure shooting through him with every slide of her body on his. His muscles tensed, a release hanging by a thread just outside of his reach. Pressure building with her every sweet movement, Zevran knew he wouldn't last very much longer.

Riel leaned down and kissed him, her chest pressing tightly against his. Her hand came up to cradle his jaw in her palm as her tongue danced with his. "Thank you…" she then purred against his lips. "Now stop holding back,  _mi amor_. I need your love,  _all_  of it," she added, before biting his bottom lip lightly.

"Riel…?"

"I can feel you still holding back, Zevran. Stop. I need all of you. The passion. The love. The fury of your soul as you take me. I'm may be broken, but I am  _not_  fragile." Riel kissed him again, her tongue running along his teeth. "Take. Me." The demand on her lips was so much more than it seemed. A declaration of her acceptance of him. An invitation into her heart.

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispered softly to her. "The ways that I want you…"

"Show me."

With a deep growl, Zevran rolled their bodies over so that he was on top of her. Taking her leg in his hand, he hooked her knee over his elbow as he drove deeply into her. Riel's nails dug deeply into his back as slowly slid out of her, almost leaving her warmth before driving back into her. Again he pulled nearly free from her, then quickly back in, each time feeling as if a bolt of lightning shooting through his whole body.

"More!" Riel screamed out in pleasure, her nails digging so deep in his skin, Zevran begged that she scarred him. To have her mark in his skin caused a devilish pleasure inside of Zevran as he took her.

The build up of the tension came on him quickly. The walls of her inner core latching and releasing on him in perfect unison to his strokes, milking the climax out of him despite how hard he pushed to extend it. Yet he was not alone in his release. Right there alongside of him was his goddess, his name on her lips as her head threw back and pleasure rocked through her body.

Zevran rocked himself inside of her a few times more, losing himself in the bliss of her body under his. Riel's fingers shifted from clawing at his skin to gentle caresses, her fingertips dancing only the skin of his back and shoulders. The delicious feel of it acting as lulling call, pulling him down to her.

"Tell me that you are happy…" he whispered.

"Delirious…." she answered back to him, a lazy smile on her lips.

"Do you regret?"

Riel lifted her eyes to meet his. "Never,  _emma lath._ "

Zevran rolled to the side, taking Riel with him. There he wrapped his arms tightly around her, pulling her body flush against his own. With her there in his arms, and her love for him on his lips, Zevran finally let himself relax and find the peace that she alone gave to him.

Riel smiled against his chest, loving the way he held her after the made love. And not just then, but always. As if she were something incredibly precious. Valuable. Worth something special. When she was in his arms, Riel felt as if nothing in the world was beyond doing. That with him by her side, maybe the suicidal mission she was on might actually be possible. Darkspawn or Archdemon. Slaver or Demons. She could do it.

That maybe winning wasn't just the  _only_  option, because she  _ **had**_  to.

That with Zevran beside her, maybe winning became possible because she actually  _could_.


	42. Pride and Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Chapter rated M (mature) 18+ for adult content.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Emma lath: Elvhen. "My love."
> 
> Ma vhenan: Elvhen. "My heart."
> 
> Mi diosa: Antivan. "My goddess."
> 
> Queridos dioses, te amo: Antivan. "Dear gods, I love you."
> 
> Estoy desesperadamente enamorado de ti: Antivan. "I'm desperately in love with you."

Night lilies. As they bloom under the light of the full bloom after a warm summer downpour.

That was the smell that Zevran came awake to. The same scent that had burned itself into his senses from the very first moment. It was what haunted his dreams at night and how he always knew where she had been. And right now, it covered him.  _Her_  scent. That which was unique to her and her alone, just as everything else was about her.

Smiling to himself, Zevran let himself bask in the peaceful calm of the moment. With her soft body nestled in next to his, and his arms wrapped around her, it was everything he had ever dreamed. To be hers, that was simple. He was lost to her the moment that he first saw her. However, for her to be  _his_ ….  _ **That**_  was the dream.  _ **That**_ was the miracle. The gift from the very gods themselves.

 _Please gods, if this is a dream, do not let ever me wake up_ , he prayed silently, keeping his eyes closed.

"I can feel you smiling…"

"You can now? Perhaps I shall endeavour to smile quieter, so to keep from waking you," Zevran replied with a soft laugh.

"How does a person smile  _quieter_?" she giggled against his chest.

"Alas, I do not know. However, I shall have to find a way. If only so it could please you and extend your much needed rest."

Riel laughed softly as she moved closer to him. She then rubbed the tip of her nose against his chest, followed by several kisses that found the dark swirls there. Zevran moaned despite himself, his arms wrapping around her tighter. "I actually like the way you smile," she whispered against his skin before delivering several more soft kisses.

"That is very good to know,  _mi bella_. However, you do still need your rest," Zevran replied before a deep moan escaped his lips. She had taken his nipple in her mouth and lightly ran her teeth along it. "Ahh… Perhaps  _rest_  is not what is on your mind, however," he chuckled.

Riel rubbed her cheek against his chest, a soft smile on her lips. "I just love being with you, Zevran. I missed this so much."

Zevran gently lifted her chin up so he could look into her eyes. "So did I. It tore at me to force myself away from you. To see you hurting yet not being able to comfort you…" Zevran caressed her lips with his thumb as he looked down at her, his eyes misting from his memories. "To know that I was the cause of your tears… That was perhaps the worst of it all."

"You make me smile too, Zevran. More than I ever have before." Riel then leaned up and kissed him, running her tongue along his bottom lip. Running her hands up his back until she could weave them through his golden blonde hair, her nails lightly scraping against the back of his neck. Riel felt him deepening the kiss, his body responding to her soft touches.

Riel pulled him on top of her, cradling his hips between her legs. She knew he wanted her. Could feel his length pressing into her abdomen. And she loved it all. The weight of him on her. The feel of his hands as the glided over her skin to cup and massage her breast. The way he kissed her with desperate passion. She even loved the way his hard shaft pulsed and twitched for her, aching for her as much as she ached for it.

"Make love to me, Zevran…" she whispered against his lips.

"When you are ready…" he purred in response, his hand dipping down to cup her core in his palm.

"I am  _ready_  now…" she hissed back. Riel then reached down and took his length in her hand, lightly running her fingers along it before guiding it into her.

" _Mi bella!_ " Zevran cursed out in pleasure as he filled her.

Riel locked her legs around his hips, lifting and gliding herself underneath him as his back arched and eyes squeezed shut. "Look at me, Zevran…" she softly pleaded, her voice begging. His eyes snapped open as he looked down at her, a mixture of desire and shock on his face. " _Broken_ ….  **not**   _fragile_ …." she repeated up to him, her hand coming to caress his cheek.

Zevran smiled down at her, his eyes sparkling with lust and love as he mesmerized her face. He then leaned down and kissed her passionately, his mouth and tongue ravaging her expertly. When he surfaced for breath, he stared into her eyes, their noses almost touching.

"Even the broken can be fixed,  _mi bella_ …." he purred lustfully, moving his hips in delicious ways against her. Zevran then placed kisses all along her jaw, gently biting and nipping at the skin there before lowering his head and doing the same to her neck.

Riel moaned softly, her fingertips pulling and clawing at his back as he made love to her with hard yet sure strokes. The way their bodies glided together seamlessly, as if each were made for the other. And with each movement he made on top of her, Riel felt herself get even closer to the sweet release he had taught to her have. That he alone had ever given her.

" _Emma lath_ …." Riel breathed heavily against his skin.

One of Zevran's hand slid up the side of her body and took hold of her own hand, their fingers lacing together beside Riel's head. "Find your peace in me,  _mi bella_ …." he whispered huskily against her neck.

Zevran increased his pace, lifting their clasped hands to rest above Riel's head. He then ducked his head down and took her breast into his mouth, gently suckeling and laving the nipple there. And when he softly ran his teeth against the perk flesh, he felt her come apart under him. His name a hoarse cry on her lips as she shuddered and drove her hips against his, her insides clasping onto him tightly.

"Yes,  _mi bella_ … that's it…" Zevran murmured. " _Queridos dioses, te amo..._ " he whispered a moment before his own release shattered through him. " _Estoy desesperadamente enamorado de ti_."

Riel smiled, holding him to her as she felt him drape small kisses along her neck and shoulder. Her fingers lightly scraped over his back, following a lazy and undefined pattern. "I love you too,  _ma vhenan._ "

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Riel and Zevran stayed like that for a long while, slipping in and out of sleep as the hours slowly went by. It had been so long since either of them had gotten any true amount of rest, and neither Zevran nor Riel were in a hurry to leave their tent and once again face the world outside. Instead they held on to each other, caressing and loving each other as they slept or dozed happily.

Only when a slight rumble could be heard coming from Riel's stomach did Zevran pull himself away from her. Looking down at her smiling face, he once more felt his heart swell in his chest. How the gods had gifted him with her. And with any gift, it must be well cared for, especially one as precious as she was.

"It seems  _mi diosa_  is need of food," he crooned, gently running his fingers down her cheek.

"A part of me wishes I didn't have to face them," she confessed, her eyes misting.

"How so?" Zevran asked, concern filling his features.

Riel's eyes dipped down, focusing instead on the tattooed swirls over his heart. "I don't want to be treated different, Zevran."

"And you think they will?"

"I've seen the way people look at elves. They way they are abused. Not just elves either, but human women as well. Looking at them as if they are these helpless  _victims…_."

" _Mi bella_ , you are  _far_  from helpless," Zevran purred, bringing his fingers up to his lips. "What happened wasn't your fault.  **Never**  think otherwise."

Riel remained quiet, her mind thinking on his words.  _Would they still follower her after what happened? Aren't leaders supposed to be strong? Aren't they the ones who are supposed to save people? Not the other way around?_

"How about this…" Zevran stated after seeing her continued distress. "I will go and fetch you some food and drink. Then I will return in here, where I will continue to hold you while you eat. Afterwards, perhaps I ravage you some more, and then, more sleeping!"

Riel laughed at the way his eyebrows wiggled at her. "Ravage me, huh?" she asked playfully.

"But of course! We must put that energy you gain through food to some use after all…" he replied with a suggestive wink.

"And what about the others? And the war? And the Blight?" she playfully snapped back. "We can't cuddle away the whole Blight you know!"

"No, perhaps not…" he replied, feigning hurt. "However, perhaps all the Archdemon needs is a good cuddle. And I happen to  _very_  good at cuddling. Or so I assume considering how happy you look right now."

Riel laughed again, rolling her eyes at his silliness. "I am  _very_  happy. Although I don't think the Archdemon just needs a  _cuddle_."

"Fighting it is," Zevran replied with a heavy sigh. "So, if we are to do battle, then I must see to it that  _mi diosa_  is well fed and cared for,  _no_?"

"Which also means getting up and facing the world…" Riel groaned, sitting up from the bedroll.

"If you insist,  _mi bella_. However, I am perfectly happy to fetch you something to eat," Zevran crooned, kissing the back of her shoulder. "And if you stay in here, then I get to keep you naked. I much preferable state for you to be in, in my humble opinion that is."

"I suppose I could go check on everyone without getting dressed first," Riel teased back. "Although I might permanently blind several of our companions in doing so."

Zevran pulled Riel back down to the bedroll, his hand coming up to rest on her cheek. "They would be blind only because I would have to gouge out their eyes for looking on you so luridly. For none of them are worthy of such an honor as to witness you in your naked glory," he purred before leaning down and capturing her mouth.

"Mmm, keep this up and that Archdemon might just have to kill himself after all," she giggled softly against his lips.

"Riel, I am sure you could convince even the greatest of foes to willingly fall on their blades just to see you smile the way you are now."

"And I am sure you could charm a Reverend Mother out of her robes…" Riel quipped.

"Now that you mention it…. There was this one time in Antiva…"

"Zevran!" Riel exclaimed, smacking his chest lightly.

"What? I was just about to say-"

"Nope, don't want to hear it."

"And here I thought that you enjoyed listening to my stories," Zevran replied with a pretend pout. "It is just as well. I sure there are other things I could do with my tongue that you would find even more  _enjoyable_ …"

"You are incorrigible," Riel grinned, shaking her head.

"Only with you,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran replied, suddenly serious as he looked down at her. "You are the only one I have ever been free to be myself with. With the Crows, even in our relations, we are taught to always expect a knife to our ribs. To never let our guard down, lest another more ambitious one grow jealous of our position." Zevran caressed her face with his fingers, lightly running the tips over the whole of her smiling beauty. "We were all disposable, like any weapon or blade. So we had to remain always sharp. Always ready to fight." He paused, his fingers over her lips as he looked into her silver eyes. "With you, I am a man, not just a weapon. You have given me value,  _mi bella_. A true purpose. Something that I never thought that I would have. Or even wanted."

Riel took his hand and kissed the inside of his palm. "You always had value, Zevran."

"With you, I do. And as long as you breathe, I will use everything I was ever taught to protect and defend you." Zevran leaned down to kiss her, yet before their lips met, Riel's stomach again growled loudly. Zevran smiled broadly, his mouth just a hairsbreadth away from her own. "It would seem that I need to feed my lovely Warden…"

"I'm sorry," she giggled shyly.

"Never,  _mi bella_. I am, after all, lacking in my duties!" Zevran exclaimed with a smile, pulling her up to a sitting position. "As your devoted follower, it is a travesty that I have let you go so hungry! A crime that I must see to correct at once, if I am to retain my honor and my standing as a gentleman."

"Okay, just let me-" Riel started before her smile instantly faded and her features darkened.

"What is it,  _mi bella_?"

"My armor…. I was wearing it when…" Tears formed in her eyes as the memories came back to her. Instantly Zevran was at her side, his hand cupping her cheek as he looked into her eyes. "It's back where-"

"Shh, shh…." he whispered, cutting her off. "I have an extra tunic here for you to wear. And we are too far from Redcliff. When we arrive there, I will gladly buy you whatever you need to replace what you lost."

"I can't fight in just a tunic, Zevran!" she cried, tears welling in her eyes.

"Then I simply will have to fight for you, won't I,  _mi bella_? That is, after all, what a man does when he loves a woman, is it not?"

"Zevran…" Riel groaned in frustration. She hated being useless. And without her armor, she was more than useless. She actually became a liability if they came across a fight. She would have to stay back and be protected like Bodahn and Sandal… As if she were a child, defenceless and powerless….

"Look at me, Riel," Zevran stated firmly, pulling Riel out her spiral. "I  _will_  protect you. As I always have done," he paused, reaching for the a pair of blades close by. He then handed them both to her, making sure to put her hands properly on each grip. "You will  **not**  be defenceless. You will have your blades, as well as my own."

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice wavering.

Zevran smiled broadly before leaning in and placing a quick kiss against her lips. "Always,  _mi bella_ ," he replied with a wink. "Now, I am off to fulfill my other duties as your devoted follower. Namely that of procuring you a meal worthy of those beautiful lips of yours." Riel smiled as she watched Zevran quickly dress in his trousers and tunic. Once his boots were secured on his feet, he took hold of her cheek once more and kissed her softly. "If you do wish to come out, that is always up to your own desire. And I will simply hold you while you eat by the fire, waiting until later this evening to ravage you properly."

Riel laughed softly as he winked at her before disappearing out of the tent. Shaking her head, Riel set aside her blades and pulled Zevran's bag to her.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"Why, Maker…?  _Why_?" Alistair hissed to himself once more. Maker knows how many times he uttered that question, praying to the heavens above in some futile hope of being answered. Not that he actually expected one. No, it seemed that when it came to  _his_  own personal requests of the deity, the Maker decided that was the time to show his absence. Whereas what sneaky assassins wanted and desired…. Well, the Maker sure was bestowing that  _ **bastard**_  with ample good graces, wasn't he?

Alistair paused in his pacing and sighed deeply. It wasn't the Maker he was angry at. In truth, Alistair was even growing tired of being angry at the assassin. True, he still hated him. And he certainly didn't trust him. But there was also no mistaking how happy that he was making Riel. Even if it was all fake. Even if it was all a trap. Right now, she was happy. And that just pissed Alistair off more.

 _ **He**_  should have been the one to save Riel from those slavers. It should have been his blade that sliced open their bellies and left their innards out to bake in the morning sun. Not that was all that happened to the sods who assaulted their dear leader. Alistair inwardly shuddered, his mind once again bringing up the nightmarish scene he and Leliana had come across in the early morning hours.

Three men - or, what Alistair  _presumed_  to be men - strung up and displayed in full grotesque horror. The two men merely having their facial features carved away and missing. The third… Dear Maker… And Leliana was so positive that for at least part of what he endured, the man was still alive too. If there was ever a reason to fear what Antivan Crows did,  _ **that**_  image alone would have been enough to even give the Darkspawn pause.

And yet, after what he had learned of what had happened to Riel, Alistair couldn't fault the assassin for it. For everything they disagreed on and how much they hated each other, Alistair found himself actually happy that the men who did such horrible things to Riel had suffered like that. Alistair only wished that  _ **he**_  had been the one to put them to the blade. Not that he would have done such a - thorough - job as the assassin, most likely. Still, the rage he felt at learning of what she endured…. It still burned like hot fire inside of his chest.

"Good morning, Zevran," Leliana smiled brightly, bringing Alistair's gaze up.

The ex-Templar and now fully Grey Warden male had been pacing near Bodahn's wagon, waiting for when Riel would be alone. Eventually,  _surely_ , at some blasted point that bastard of an elf would leave Riel's tent,  _right_? Leave to take a piss or grab some food or do  _something_  that would take him away from her tent, and give him the opportunity to talk to her on his own. Yet the hours kept passing, and still the two of them stayed hidden within.

Worse yet, Alistair had even heard….  _sounds_ …. coming from inside the tent. More than once too. Sounds that made his blood run cold even as his temper blazed hot fire. Yet both times when he tried to approach the tent, that damnable hound would raise his head, growling at Alistair as if the human was a tasty chunk of meat rather than a travelling companion! Even from dead asleep, and no matter how hard Alistair attempted to quiet his movements, that sodding dog would somehow know. Waking up and baring those far too sharp teeth of his, a growl of warning being made clear if even the sound wasn't overly loud.

 _Stupid mabari!_  Alistair cursed once more.

Now though…. This was what Alistair had been waiting all morning for. That elf had left the tent, the hound was lazing by the fire, and by all rights he should be free to approach and speak to Riel. Right…. If only he had figured out  _precisely_  what he was going to say to her in all that time he had been waiting.

Alistair spotted the elf disappear towards the creek they camped by, and knew that his time was wasting. If he wanted any chance to speak with Riel without that bastard around, he needed to do so now. Or Maker only known when he'll get another chance. Steeling himself, Alistair ran his hand through his hair and approached the tent.

"Riel? Are you-" Alistair stopped as the tent flap opened once more and Riel stood free from it.  _Maker's breath_ …. She looked horrid. A busted lip, and a badly bruised cheek leading into what was most certainly going to be a black eye in a few more hours. There were scratches on her face and neck, as well as her arms and chest too. Yet for of that, she still smiled. Smiled! Well, that is until she saw Alistair standing less than a foot away from her. Then that mesmerizing smile of hers disappeared quickly as her inner defences came up and she regarded Alistair with cold eyes.

"Oh. Alistair," she started, her eyes immediately searching out the area, looking for something. Or more accurately, some _one_. Yet when her amazingly beautiful eyes didn't find what they searched for, they came back to rest on him. A fake smile turning the corners of her lips up as she attempted pleasantness.

"Good. You're… You're awake. That's good. So are you. I mean, looking good. I mean, you look good, given what happened-"

"Alistair, is there something you needed?" Riel interrupted, her voice not even bothering to hide her annoyance.

"Yes! Right! I actually wanted to talk to you about what happened. If that's okay."

Riel folded her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes on him. "What is there to talk about?"

"Well, for starters, I have to ask you what were you even thinking going running off like that?" Alistair cursed at himself as soon as the words were free from his mouth.

_Right…. so not the way I wanted to say that…._

"What was I  _thinking_?" Riel huffed out indignantly. "I guess I  _wasn't_  really thinking. Is that what you want to hear? I had something that I wanted to discuss with Zevran, and I left to go look for him."

"And it couldn't wait until he got back to camp?" Alistair replied back, his annoyance feeding off her own.

"It was  _important_ , Alistair," Riel said with a roll of her eyes.

"I would hope so! Seeing as you left without even taking any weapons with you or telling anyone where you were running off to!"

"Leliana knew where I was going!"

"In search of Zevran! In the middle of the night! Without weapons, I might add!" Alistair knew his temper was rising, yet as always when it came to Riel, he just couldn't seem to reign it in with her.

"Yes! It was stupid! I know that! And I payed for it!" Riel spat at him, her face coming within a few inches of Alistair's as she yelled.

"Yes, you've paid for it all right! By getting yourself captured by sodding slavers, who didn't waste any time raping-"

_****CRACK**** _

Alistair would look back at this moment and curse at himself, knowing just how justified Riel was in laying him flat out on his black. Right now, his ears were ringing as if it were Chantry morning service and his head was the bell. Not to mention the splitting pain that screamed in his right side of his face, letting him know that Riel's left hook was still as deadly as it was back in Lothering.

"You  _bastard_ …." Riel angrily spat out, her eyes glaring vicious daggers down at the ex-Templar lying on his back on the ground. She then lifted her head, seeing the eyes of the entire camp trained directly on her. Immediately Riel's face flushed, shame and embarrassment filling her. Lifting her chin up, Riel refused to let anyone else her cry. She was a Grey Warden,  _damn it!_  The person supposedly to lead them all in a battle against the Blight!

"Riel, are you-" Leliana tried to ask, but quickly cut off by Riel's raised hand.

"If I remember correctly, there is a stream nearby, correct?" she asked the bard stiffly.

"Y-yes… Just through those trees there," Leliana replied unsteadily, motioning with her hand to Riel's right.

Riel shifted her glance down to Alistair, her eyes going hard. "Just so everyone  _knows_ ," she began, her voice icy. "I am going to clean up. I assume I don't need your  _permission_ , my  _prince_? Oh and don't worry, I'll be sure to bring my daggers this time. In case any more sodding  **pricks**  decide they have an inkling for  _knife ear_ flesh!"

Riel then stomped past Alistair, who still laid cradling his jaw on the ground. Struggling for a minute almost as if he we a flipped turtle, Alistair grunted and heaved in his bulking heavy armor to stand. When he finally managed to get to his feet, both his shame and pride clogged his throat so thickly he couldn't even get a word passed his lips. Desperately he wanted to call Riel back; to apologize to her and tell her how much as sodding asshole he was being. Yet the words refused to come, even as he watched her small form disappear behind the trees.

"A word.  _Now_."

Alistair looked down at the elderly mage, fully ready to tell the woman to sod off and leave him alone. There was nothing she could say to him that he wasn't already saying to himself at that moment. How much of an idiot he was. How much of an ass he was being too Riel. How badly he screwed up. He knew it all. Damn him, he'd known for quite a while how badly he had been screwing up in the whole conversation part when it came to Riel. Yet there seemed to be nothing he could do about it. Everytime he got close to the woman, his words just never seem to come out right.

"Wynne, I am-"

" **Now** , Alistair," Wynne stated, her usually soft voice now clipped and hard. She then turned on her heel and started walking away - in the opposite direction of where Riel had just went.

"Go with her Alistair. And listen quickly to what she had to say," Leliana stated from beside the fire, her eyes not even raising to meet his.

"Why quickly? You really think that Riel is going to come back and decide to pull up camp so late in the day?"

"No," Leliana sighed. "I say 'quickly' because you have as much time it takes for Riel to break down and explain why she is upset to when Zevran comes hunting for your heart for you to listen to what Wynne is going to try and explain to you." She then muttered more quietly to herself, "Maker knows that I have tried enough times…"

Alistair grumbled as he walked off, his jaw hurting and his mood dancing on far too many dark thoughts for him to be comfortable with. He knew that Wynne was going to tell him what an idiot he was for what he said. He already  _knew_  that. He didn't need her to tell him that. Alistair knew that when it came to Riel, he constantly had his food lodged firmly in his mouth. What he actually needed to know was how to keep himself from doing it again.

Wynne stood waiting for him several feet into the brush that surrounded the camp. With her long mage robes on, white hair coiled in a bun, and her stern wizened old face glaring at him, Wynne looked every bit the scolding teacher who would look upon a pair of rambunctious boys with a disapproving glare. Only Alistair was no boy, and there was only one of him. Still, it brought back far too many memories from his early childhood days for Alistair to be comfortable with.

"That's far enough, young man," Wynne stated coldly, her arms crossing.

"Look Wynne, I don't know what-"

"Hush! Now I think that perhaps you have done enough talking for right now. I think perhaps instead you spend some time listening. And listening well."

Alistair eyed the older woman, unused to the hard tone that she was giving to him at that moment. Normally the woman was all motherly and warm hugs, reminding Alistair of how a kind old grandmother would be. Now however, the thin set of her lips and the disapproving look in her eyes made Alistair think more of the Chantry mothers who used to scold him for misbehaving when he was a child.

"What you said back there was completely uncalled for, Alistair."

"I know that Wynne! It's not as if I actually meant to say that!" he groaned in response, hands pulling at the ends of his hair.

"Then what did you mean to say?"

"You know! That I was glad that she was alright and that I was worried about her and all that other stuff. Yet whenever I open my mouth around Riel, nothing ever comes out right!"

"Alistair, you have to learn that the words that we say to one another have power. What we say to another person has the ability to hurt and destroy that goes far beyond any spell or sword. However, our words also have the ability to help heal any wound or ease any fear. The words that we say one another have lasting effects beyond anything that we could imagine, both for good or ill."

"I know that, Wynne! What do you want me to do, though? It seems as if everytime I open my mouth around Riel, all I do is end up making her even more upset at me! Even when I am trying to be nice to her!"

"You already know what you want, Alistair. And that is the precisely the problem. You are so focused on what you want and your own actions that you are missing everything else."

"I don't understand."

"You are so busy asking 'what can I do to make Riel happy', instead of simply asking ' _what_  makes Riel happy'." Wynne sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose, trying to think of a way to explain her meaning to him. "Think of this way, Alistair; when you are given a flower to care for, what is the first question that comes to your mind?"

"Why is someone giving me a flower to take care of?"

Wynne rolled her eyes and pegged him with a glare. "After that, young man."

Alistair scratched the back of his neck as he thought. "Well, I guess I would ask what I'm supposed to do with it."

"If you are given it to care for, then the first question you should be asking is what exactly does it need to live."

"Water, I guess. And sunlight. And dirt."

"Stop  _telling_  me what the flower needs, and  _ask the question_ , Alistair!" she huffed, clearly annoyed.

"What question?" Alistair spat back, equally annoyed at Wynne's vague statements.

"Alistair, there is a difference between asking 'what do I need to do' and asking 'what does this need'. One focuses on our own actions, the other on what the source is. I could ask all day what I could do to help a flower survive and grow healthy. However, if I do not stop and simply ask what that flower needs - whether I can even do such a thing or not - then the flower will not thrive and grow strong. Whenever I am given a task, the first thing I always ask myself is 'what is that needs doing for this task to be completed.' Only then do I ask myself if I am capable of doing such things. And that is what you are missing here.

You keep asking yourself 'What can I do or say to make Riel happy.' Yet you are missing out on the more important question of ' _what_  makes Riel happy.' Do not focus on what you can do for her, because then it makes the question about  _you_  and not her. And when you finally figure out what makes Riel happy, only then will you be able to see whether you are capable of doing something to achieve that."

Alistair stared at Wynne for several minutes, his mind working through her words. If he were honest, he still wasn't exactly sure what the old woman was talking about. Yet he was willing to try almost anything at this point to try and mend the damage that he had caused between Riel and him. He just wasn't sure how anymore.

"Ask yourself this, Alistair. What makes Riel happy?" Wynne ventured after the silence built between them.

"Uh, I don't actually know. Everytime I try to ask her that, she yells at me."

"Well, I know of one thing that makes her happy. At least, when he isn't being a fool himself," Wynne chided with a smile.

Alistair groaned. "The  _assassin_?!"

"You don't have to agree with her courtship with him, but even you have see how much better she has become since the have been together. Even I see how he affected her, and I haven't known her for nearly as long as you have." Wynne took a few steps closer to Alistair, her features no longer scolding but warm and motherly once more. "Let me ask you Alistair, if a flower needs water and sunlight to grow, does it matter who waters and shines down upon it? Or are you willing to smother the flower, trying to give it something that it doesn't need?"

" _ **I**_  should be the one watering the flower…." he grumbled sorely.

"And yet one important lesson in gardening is always be careful to not overwater your plants. They will grow on their own, with their own needs and desires. And if we are lucky, perhaps they will turn their petals to us and smile. However, we must let them determine what their limits are. Not trying to force on them what we think they should be. Doing so will only cause a plant to wither."

Alistair sighed, shifting his feet underneath him uneasily. "So what should I do then?"

"What does Riel need?"

Alistair went quiet as he thought about it. It seemed like such a simple question, yet it might as well have been the whole of the Frostback mountains for how difficult it seemed to solve.  _What does anyone need?_  he asked himself.

"A friend. I guess."

Wynne laughed softly. "No, that's good. That is precisely where I would begin as well. So then, what would a friend do?

"Apologize for being such an immense arse for starters," he replied, chuckling. "Yet I think that if I go see her now and try to apologize, I'll probably just get hit again."

"And you would probably deserve it, too."

"You don't hold back, do you?" teased Alistair.

"When it's needed," Wynne smiled. "LIfe is never easy, Alistair. And it is far from fair. But sometimes if we try, it can be rather enjoyable. We must always be mindful, however, that our own desires to do cause harm to others. Sometimes those that we care for most, end up being the ones that we hurt the deepest."

"So what do you suggest? If I go to her now and try to apologize, I doubt she will even listen to a word that I say."

"Perhaps the female Warden is not the first one that you should be making amends with."

Alistair balked at the thought. "You can't honestly mean-"

"Ask yourself this, Alistair; What is more important, your pride or Riel's heart? When you figure that out you will know what to do. Now, I have said all that I can. If you don't mind, I am going to go back to my sewing. Maker's breath, you all go through socks faster than I can keep up sometimes!"

Alistair watched the older woman march away, muttering a curse under her breath. He knew that she was right, although Maker help him actually do what she suggested. To apologize to Riel was one thing. Even if she hit him again, that would still be preferable than trying to put on a smile and play nice with the assassin.

_What's more important? Your pride or Riel's heart?_

Wynne's words echoed in Alistair's mind as he walked back to camp. He knew what he had to do. And with a silent prayer to the Maker, Alistair hoped he had enough strength to actually do it.


	43. In Need of a Lesson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mujeres de pendejo: Antivan. "Women's asshole." A vulgar insult.
> 
> Ar lath ma: Elvhen. "I love you."
> 
> Te amo tanto, mi diosa bella: Antivan. "I love you, my beautiful goddess."
> 
> Mi amiga bella: Antivan. "My beautiful friend."
> 
> Amantes cachondos: Antivan. "Horny lovers."
> 
> El hombre cachondos: Antivan. "The horny man."
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Dareth shiral: Elvhen. "Stay safe/safe journey."
> 
> Ma vhenan: Elvhen. "My heart."
> 
> Tel'enfenim mi'lin Fen'harel: Elvhen. "Never fear the sting/bite of Fen'harel." A Elvhen blessing against ill luck.
> 
> Fen'Harel: The Elven god of tricks and fear. Commonly referred to as the "Dread Wolf".

"That stupid, arrogant, self absorbed, idiotic, sodding  **asshole!"** Riel angrily exclaimed as she stomped through the low brush leading to the stream. Her hand hurt where it had collided with the bastard's thick jaw, yet the pain was nothing compared to the deep swell in her chest. With each breath Riel took, her lungs burned and she could feel her heart beating furiously behind her still sore ribs. And yet the image that tormented her worst was the look of shock and pity on the faces of her other companions. After she had laid out that bastard male for what he said, and Riel lifted her eyes to meet those of her other companions….

_Pity. Shame. Disgust._

Everything she had feared to see on their faces. Everything a leader should  _never_  see on the faces of those who they are supposed to be leading. Who in their right mind would trust a person to lead them in battle who couldn't even defend themselves? Who made stupid, rash decisions that nearly gets them killed?

And Alistair just made it all so much worse. Because he wasn't just  _any_  companion. He was a Grey Warden, just like she was. A person whose title commanded respect by just being uttered. Hell, Riel had nearly fought a group of dwarves in Orzammar before they found out who and what she was. Simply by mentioning her title, suddenly her status as a surfacer, a woman, an  _elf_ …. That was all forgotten. She was Grey Warden.

So what was she now, Riel wondered. Still a Warden, perhaps. But how far had she disgraced that name by what had happened to her? Sten already thought her weak because of being a woman. Oghren laughed when he heard an  _elf_  managed to become a Warden. And Alistair…. Well, Riel  _knew_  how he felt, didn't she?

Weak. Rash. A liability. Creators knew he disagreed her constantly with what decisions she made. Just look at how he reacted in Redcliff. He certainly didn't trust her choices in companions, either. Complaining not just about Zevran, but questioning her choice in bringing along Sten and even Oghren. A murderer and a perpetual drunkard.

_Gah…. Perhaps he was right. What am I doing? What do I know of fighting a war? Of battling an Archdemon? Of even being a Grey Warden? I can't even keep myself alive…_

"Now that is far too unhappy of a face for my enchanting Warden to have. Tsk tsk."

Riel quickly wiped her hand under her eyes, trying to do away with the traitorous tears that had gathered there. Forcing a smile on her face, she turned and faced the handsome rogue, yet she knew by his expression that he attempt at hiding her upset demeanor was failing by the look of concern in his honey eyes.

" _Mi bella_ , tell me, what has happened?" Zevran asked, wrapping one arm around her waist and placing his other hand on her cheek.

"Nothing… It's stupid…" she tried to dismiss away with a sad smile, yet he knew his Warden far too well.

" _Mi amor_ , there are many things you absolutely wonderful at. Things such strategy, planning, slicing apart your many enemies, and I must personally say your ability at love making is the thing of dreams. However, if there is one thing you are terrible at, it is lying."

Riel tried not laugh, yet found it difficult to hold back her smile as he looked at her with such a scolding sound to his voice. "Yeah, well, it can be added the rest of things that I am failing at," she replied with a pout and only a small hint of levity to her voice. The truth was, Riel was in doubt of pretty much all her qualities, even the ones that Zevran mentioned.

"Here, come sit by the water with me. I was only washing quickly before returning to camp to gather some food for you when I saw you approach. However, now I am thinking that perhaps I should have skipped bathing and stayed by your side, if only to know what has happened to put tears in your eyes."

Zevran took gentle hold of her hand and led her to a large boulder that stood next to the rushing stream, In a single swift move he climbed on top, scooting himself backwards a bit to make room for Riel between his legs. Once she sat with her back to him, Zevran then wrapped his arms around her waist, once more enjoying the warm feel of her body against his own.

"Now speak to me,  _mi bella_. Tell me what causes you pain," Zevran purred, placing a soft kiss to the back of her shoulder.

Riel was quiet for a moment as she tried to form the words in her mind. "D-do you… Do you think it was my fault? What…. happened…" she managed to finally say. The time the two of them had spent together had gone a long way in healing the hurt caused by the events of the previous night, yet some wounds took a long time to recover properly. One thing that Riel was learning, thanks to the elf next to her. Still, it was difficult talking about it, and a part of Riel even feared what he would say. If he - like the others - held some feeling of pity or shame towards her.

Zevran gently tilted her chin so her eyes met his. " **Never**. Absolutely not.  _Never_  let yourself even consider it, Riel." His voice was firm and his expression firm, yet his eyes were not cruel. There was no anger or pity in the look he gave to her. Only the endless love that he always held for her.

Tears once more pricked her eyes, and Riel inwardly cursed them. She hated crying. Appearing weak to others. The tears on her face a declaration to anyone who saw that she was not strong enough to handle whatever it was that she was going through. Warriors didn't cry, did they? Leaders of armies didn't shed tears when people were mean to them, after all. Right?

"Who?"

Riel blinked a few times, confused at his short question. "Who what?"

"Who made the foolish last mistake of ever making your believe for one second that you were at fault for anything?"

He was angry now, yet Riel knew that he wasn't angry at her. Quickly she looked away, hoping that he wouldn't guess by her expression. She may be angry at the idiot, but she still preferred him breathing, at least for now. Even after everything, and how angry he had made her. He was a valuable fighter. And the only other Grey Warden for weeks of hard travel. Probably even months. Like it or not, she  _needed_  the idiot still breathing.

"I suppose I shouldn't even have to ask, should I?" Zevran grumbled in her ear.

Riel felt his body stiffen and his muscles tense, yet he didn't say anything else. Instead he continued to hold Riel to him, the muscles in his upper body tensing and relaxing at random intervals. Riel was even sure she heard him grind his teeth and lowly mutter an Antivan curse every now and then. Yet his hold on her was still gentle. Open. As if he didn't want to place too much pressure on her, in case she felt threatened by his arms around her.

Behind the small outside signs his body displayed, Zevran was barely containing his anger as he held her. His mind going over the various techniques he had learned in the Crows to torture and punish their enemies, while every fiber in his body screamed out to be able to fulfil his dark fantasies. His bloodlust and need for vengeance over what happened to Riel wasn't nearly satisfied with the pittance the slavers ended up being. The dark fury that had erupted in him and called for the blood of those who had dared harm his Riel was only slightly put on hold while he had tended to her. With her living and safe in his arms, Zevran could almost ignore the call in his blood to wreck havoc and bleed dry any living thing that even so much as looked at his  _diosa_  the wrong way.

And now, that same fury was back. And it had a new target. A blundering, insensitive, foolish mongrel of a whoreson who for some inconceivable reason thought to sully the divine gift in his arms. True, Zevran himself was barely above that of the ex-Templar in his lineage and deserving to hold such a beauty in his arms, yet at least  _ **he**_  knew how lucky he was. And while he may not know the reason as to why the beautiful and amazing female Warden chose allow him to love her, Zevran would never think to spit and piss all over the gift that she was.

"You can't kill him," Riel softly stated after a short while.

Zevran chuckled darkly before placing a soft kiss to her shoulder. "Oh, my love, I do not wish to  _kill_  him," he replied with a smile.  _Death is in fact the very_ _ **last**_   _thing that I want to do that dog..._ Zevran thought instead.

"He needs to still be able to fight."

"Oh now you go too far!"

Riel huffed in disapproval, lightly slapping his leg. "I mean it Zevran! All limbs intact, sword and shield arms still able to function, and able to stand and fight well enough against the Darkspawn! By the Void, I won't be the only Grey Warden in all of Ferelden left to fight against this blasted Blight! I just pray to Mythal that the others will still fight with me after what happened!"

"Why wouldn't they fight with you?"

Riel shrugged her shoulders, silently fidgeting with her fingers in her lap. Zevran gently lifted her chin, bringing her eyes up to his.

"Talk to me,  _mi bella_."

"I'm weak, Zevran," she suddenly cried out. "I'm not good at any of this! I can't even defend myself! How am I supposed to lead all of Ferelden? Look at what happened in Orzammar!"

"You fought thugs and criminals, delving deep into the criminal underworld of the largest dwarven city, where you killed the head mistress behind it all. Then after destroying the whole ugly enterprise, you travelled long into the darkness of the Deep Roads. Where you fought not just against giant spiders and the very Darkspawn themselves, but your own inner troubles and nightmares. You rallied and gained the support of the Legion of Dead, leading them in a valiant battle where you personally killed a giant spider queen, saving many lives in the process, not to mention restoring a large chuck of pride to the dwarven people. And yet you still battled on, fighting golems, shades, and navigating deadly ancient traps while still fighting against growing numbers of Darkspawn. And finally, after almost dying multiple times, you risked your life to preserve the dying wish of one of the greatest smiths of dwarven history. Even after being hairsbreadth away from death, you still returned to us. Courageously continuing to fight until we were free from the cursed Deep Roads, where - after carefully weighing all of your options and given the best knowledge you had - gave all of Orzammar their next king. Something not even all their warriors and deshyrs and advisors could do. And through it all, you were gracious, kind, and diplomatic despite how badly you wanted to run from it all."

"Zevran! That is-"

"That is exactly what happened,  _mi bella_. I know because I witnessed it with my own eyes. And so did everyone else. You say you are 'weak', yet I have never seen a such strength that I have seen within you. Strength you use every day you wake and face the battles before you. And not just against bandits or Darkspawn. You face each day with a strength that I have never seen. To continue on, travelling, planning, fighting, gathering these allies and knowing what it is that you face at the end of everything…  **That**  is true strength, Riel. Strength that very few people could ever hope to possess, let alone wield as well as you do."

Riel stared up at Zevran, tears rushing down her cheeks unchecked. She definitely see her actions the way that he described, but perhaps they were not as bad as she thought either. At least, she prayed that they weren't. Maybe…. Maybe there was hope for her. If Zevran was with her. If he would continue to stay with her, helping her up when she no longer felt able to stand.

"Are you sure that you are not a bard instead of an assassin?" she lightly teased, wiping at the tears on her cheeks. "Creators, I probably look horrid, crying like this!" Yet Zevran stilled her hand with his own, before bending down to place soft kisses against both of her cheeks.

"I do not wish you tears, Riel, unless they are tears of happiness and joy. However, you could never be anything but  _divinamente preciosa_. Do not ever think otherwise."

" _Ar lath ma_ ," Riel whispered softly.

" _Te amo tanto, mi diosa bella,_ " he purred, placing a light kiss on her lips.

Zevran wrapped his arms around her tighter, bringing her closer against him. With his larger tunic on her small frame, she looked even daintier in his arms. So much more fragile, despite the strength of mountains that he knew rested inside of her. And in her own way, she was, despite what she told him earlier in their tent. Fragile in such a way that called out to him, and seemed designed perfectly to fit the male protective need that she invoked in him simple by being around.

"Now, let us see about cleaning you up before I take you back to camp,  _no_? After all, I am still lacking in my duties to see you well fed and cared for. I am sure you are quite hungry after all the exercise I put you through earlier, and you must gather your strength for all the  _additional_  exercise I plan on giving you later, as well…." Zevran crooned with a sly wink.

Riel couldn't stop herself from laughing as Zevran scooped her up into his arms and slid them both off the boulder they were sitting on. He then gently leaned her against the rock face, before quickly turning and picking up a small rag that he must had been using earlier. With a quick rinse of the fabric, he was back by her side, cloth in hand and carefully wiping down her face.

"You know, I am capable of washing myself…" Riel giggled as she felt the cool swipe of the cloth against her cheek.

"Oh that I know,  _mi bella_. Yet I have discovered a great affection for being the one to tend to you. You will allow me the pleasure of it, will you not?" Zevran replied with a charming smile. In truth, while he did greatly enjoy washing her down, he didn't want Riel to catch her reflection in the water. Not until her face healed better and was no longer discolored.

The shame of her injuries was still a heavy burden on his heart, and he didn't want her to see how badly those bastards had bruised her. While Wynne's magic could heal most injuries, the older mage barely had time to heal the wound in Riel's leg before her fear got too much for her. Riel's face and body still carried the bruises of her attack from the night before, as well as several small cuts.

Yet as much as the ones on her arms and body showed, Zevran knew that it would be the ones on Riel's face that would give the young the most pause. Even as beautiful as she was, Riel still questioned how she looked to him. And by washing carefully around the marks that showed, Zevran could save her that small bit of worrying and shame.

As it was, Zevran felt his own anger rekindling each time he allowed himself to focus on one of her bruises or cuts. The deep discoloration of her unscarred cheek also worried him, yet he would approach either Wynne or Morrigan about it later. Perhaps the younger witch would have better luck placing a light healing spell on her friend without causing too much worry from his lovely Riel.

"There, all fresh and glowing," Zevran stated. "You truly are beautiful, Riel."

Riel blushed, a color that was enhanced by the redness of her bruise. "You keep saying that, maybe someday I will start to believe you," she replied with a wink.

"Oh a challenge! One I accept! Now, let us see to that belly of yours,  _mi bella_. After all, I did promise to ravage you fully afterwards. A promise that I am more than eager to fulfill…" he stated, taking her hand in his and pressing against the stiff member between his hips. "Never doubt how you affect me,  _mi amor,_ " Zevran said in a husky tone, his eyes dark with passion.

"I guess we should eat quickly then…. Although I  _do_  have to check in with the others. And make plans for when we travel next. And not to mention take stock of our supplies and compare how much gold we have, seeing as I have to buy new armor and everything…. You know, being leader of a group can sure make a woman pretty busy…"

"Oh now you wish to torment me? Very well. But I shall stare at you luridly while you accomplish these tasks. And perhaps fondle you a tad bit."

"Zevran!"

"I cannot help it,  _mi bella_! You are especially tempting wearing my tunic, with your delicious rear barely covered by the cloth… Uncovered and unimpeded by heavy leathers… I could already imagine the things that I wish to do to you. Why, some of which I could probably do without even the others noticing… Well, noticing  _too_  much…"

Riel was laughing and blushing so hard as they returned to camp that she almost ran straight into Alistair. However, Zevran pulled her back just before her body would have collided with the steel of his armor. With a subtle step forwards and a turn of his wrist, Zevran positioned himself between his lover and the ex-Templar, using his body as a shield between the two of them.

"Riel! I was just going to go look for you!"

"What a coincidence indeed, as I find myself in need of speaking with you, Alistair. After I have tended to  _my_  lovely Riel, of course," Zevran smiled darkly, his eyes sparking with barely leashed anger.

"Zevran…" Riel cautioned quietly.

"Oh have no fear,  _mi amor_ ," Zevran purred, his fingers coming to lightly caress her cheek. "I remember well our talk. And your needs will always come before my own." Zevran then turned to face Alistair, the loving look he held for Riel being quickly replaced by the anger of before. "We shall have our  _discussion_  soon, my friend. That I can promise you."

"I was hoping to actually speak quickly with Riel…"

"No, I think perhaps not," Zevran interrupted, still keeping Riel behind him. "It seems my dear lady Warden has been through quite the ordeal recently and needs her rest. I am sure you can understand, of course. Good." Zevran then moved Riel around the other Warden, making sure to keep himself between the two of them at all times.

Once at the fire, Zevran helped Riel sit down on one of the skins set out before the well maintained flames. From a few feet over Zevran picked up a pot, sniffed at the contents, then frowned deeply. He then quickly maneuvered over to the food satchel, his eyes never leaving Riel for long.

"The cooked deer is over by my tent. I brought it over to measure for a stew tonight," Leliana offered when she saw him rooting through the satchel.

Zevran frowned, wishing there was something fresher for him to give to his Warden. Yet outside of a city, his options were limited. Offering a quick thank you to the redhead, he went over the deer and did his best to pick out the best pieces of what was left. As it, their supply of meat was getting low and he knew that one of their group would need to catch something soon to replenish it. Perhaps tomorrow or the next day. And with catching fresh meat came the job of drying it properly for travel. Which would mean perhaps a full day or more camping, delaying them from reaching Redcliff even longer.

Time spent with Riel without proper armor, and far too close to the area where she almost lost her life to those fiends. Added to that the growing reach of the Darkspawn as they made their way north, making Zevran felt his unease rise higher. However, that was a worry for another time. Right now, his Warden needed him.

"Leliana, I was wondering,-"

"There is already water boiling for tea, and I have made plans with Sten for him to show me how the Qunari dry their meat after we go hunting tomorrow morning. Last night Morrigan scouted a whole herd of deer upstream from where we are camped, and she cast a calming spell on them to keep them in roughly the same area until we are ready to go after them. With any luck, we should be able to get at least two bucks, and while that would mean more time to dry the meat, with Sten is currently out gathering what he needs to build a special rack the Qunari use. Supposed to dry large amount of meat quicker. Wynne is also went through our supplies earlier and she believes that we should be fine other than that until we reach Redcliff. Which with the drying, should be in about three days. Oghren has spent all morning sharpening the new axe he got from Bodahn, and he even sharpened and cleaned Sten and Alistair's swords, but only because Sten won the drinking contest…. Word of advice, do  _ **not**_  bet that you can out drink Sten. It makes me sick even just remembering it….. Other than that, I just have a few more arrows to finish, which Morrigan is actually going to  _enchant_  for me - said she learned about it in her new grimoire from the Circle Tower. Shale is on guard duty, soon to be joined by yours truly until dusk when Morrigan will take over. So…." Leliana finally paused, looking up for the first time from the pile of arrows on her lap. "You do what you need to do, Zevran. When the stew is ready later, I will leave some outside of your tent if you and Riel are not out here already."

Zevran wasn't the only one left speechless by Leliana's preparedness. From several feet away Riel felt her eyes misting, yet she blinked the wetness away, refusing to show even more weakness to her companions. Honestly Riel didn't know whether to feel amazed and grateful at the woman's foresight and ability to see to everything that needed to be done. Or to feel even more useless, at how easily she seemed to be replaced by everyone. Perhaps they didn't need her as a leader, after all. Maybe it wasn't so much that they  _wouldn't_  follow her… But they didn't  _need_  to either…

"If it alright with Riel, though, either later tonight or perhaps tomorrow I would like to go over the maps of the area with her. Normally Riel keeps such excellent maps of the areas we travel, however last time we were in this area was when you and her were travelling on your own. So I wanted to make sure that what I have marked down is alright with her." Leliana looked over to Riel from across the fire. "You don't mind, do you, Riel? You make such beautiful maps, and I wanted to make sure that the ones I have would be okay. I know for certain that we would have been so lost without you and your maps, if you ask me."

"I am sure your maps are wonderful, Leliana," Riel replied, smiling back the tears that she felt gathering.

"That is an excellent idea,  _mi amiga bella_. However, let us give our fearless leader another evening to rest, shall we?" Zevran stated with his usual charming smile as he sat down behind Riel at the fire. "I think perhaps I kept her awake far too long the previous night. And you never know what troublesome  _amantes cachondos_  can get up to the middle of the night," he added with a wink toward the bard.

"Zevran, you should know that I did spend some time in Antiva…"

"Ah! Beautiful land,  _no_?" he laughed, bringing his attention back to Riel. "With her luscious curving lands, and exotic beauties," his voice hummed, a dark seductive look in his eyes as he spoke. "The way the sun shining over head causes her to almost glow during the day, and the way the moon dances across her enthralling bounty at night…" His eyes were fixed on Riel, with a sly smile turning at the corners of his lips. "Hardly a man alive can resist being  _enraptured_  by her glorious beauty, do you not agree?"

Riel was sure that her face was several shades darker than even the ripest red berries, the heat from embarrassment flowing all the way down to her toes. Although his words were supposed to aimed at Leliana and about his homeland, the way Zevran looked at her just then told her something different. That perhaps his overindulgent compliments and descriptions were about more than just the land in which he was born and raised.

"Oh I definitely agree. It is  _very_  beautiful there," Leliana replied with a smile over to Riel. "And they were also very open with teaching others their language,  _el hombre cachondos_ ," she added with a laugh.

"Okay now I am missing something. I don't recognize those words," Riel stated, looking in between the two the rogues.

Zevran chuckled, wrapping his arms around Riel's waist and pulling her tightly against him. "Just a bit of understanding between us,  _mi bella_ , nothing more. However, it is long past time when you need to eat. Here, I have gathered some deer meat for you. And if you require more, just ask," he stated, lifting a small wooden plate up for her.

Riel picked up a piece, looking curiously between the two of them. It wasn't the first time that she had felt lost when it came to the Antivan words that Zevran spoke to her. Much of what he said was still a mystery to her. Yet this was the first time that Riel actually felt  _left_  out of what was being said. Narrowing her eyes in first Zevran, then Riel, she wasn't sure she liked the feeling.

"You need to teach me more Antivan," she stated after she chewed. "Just how many languages do you know anyway?"

"I know several, but in truth, not all well. I have picked up quite a bit in my travels as a Crow. Some of our members coming from lands as far away as the Anderfalls. It is useful to know all that we can about our marks, including the languages that they speak."

"Is that how you know so much Elvhen?"

"Aye. Much I learned from my mother before she died. The rest I found my way into over the years."

"You know, there is still so much that I don't know about you. You practically know everything about me, yet all I know about you is some of the missions that you went on back in Antiva."

"Ah, but there is still much that I do not know about you,  _mi bella_. And there is still plenty of time to learn it all," he stated, winking at her. "As for myself, all there is to me before meeting you are stories,  _mi bella_. Some amusing, some gory, some a bit of both," Zevran replied with a laughed. "However, who I am, and everything important about me only became real the moment that I first laid eyes on the goddess that is in my arms."

Riel rolled her eyes at his remark. "I am far from a  _goddess_ , Zevran…"

"I think it's sweet," giggled Leliana.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Alistair quietly watched the couple by the fire as they laughed and talked. Earlier he had watched how Zevran picked out the best cuts of their remaining dried meat, and now how he made sure Riel ate her fill without taking a single slice for himself. How he looked at her when she laughed or talked with Leliana, and how even if his eyes were not always on her, his hands were. Not in a pawing, lusty way. Just gentle touches. A hand on her hip; fingers lighting caressing her arm or leg. And while there was no denying the desire in his eyes as he looked on Riel, there was something else there. Something that Alistair never really noticed before.

It was strange, spying on them like this. Trying to see him as the others obviously did. Even Oghren made a comment about how he was happy the 'love nugs' were back together. It made Alistair wonder just what everyone other than him saw when they looked at the two of them together. Sure, Riel was happy. Happier than Alistair had ever seen her. But what about the assassin? Why did no one else see him as the threat that Alistair saw him to be?

Alistair thought back to all the times he had saw them together, trying to find anything he had missed. From the first time when their blades clashed in battle that fateful day, to that time by the river when Alistair came looking for Riel after the fight with the dragon. To Honnleath, Redcliff, and up to the Circle Tower. And then there were those two weeks where they were alone together. A part of Alistair was sure that the assassin had stolen Riel away to Denerim while the others had all but dragged Alistair back to Redcliff to help the arl. And when he saw her again outside of Orzammar…. She never looked more lovely. Such a change from the distraught, nearly broken woman was the night at the Inn by Lake Calenhad.

She had even  _hugged_  Leliana and Morrigan! Willingly!

For a few days, things started to look as if she were actually getting better. A huge shift had taken place while the group had been separated. Yet as the days went on and they remained underground, Alistair had seen the way the Taint affected her. He too had felt the headaches. The whispers in the mind. Which was why he had tried to get her to drink the herbs Duncan had told him off. It wasn't a cure against the Taint or the Calling that came for them. But it would ease mild symptoms for a time. Yet she had refused it, just as she had refused all of his help.

And when he had awoken after they had drugged him… That was the longest and most painful wait in Alistair's life. Unable to search for them. Unwilling to leave in case they returned. Alistair had spent most of his time in his room at the tavern, drinking himself in unconsciousness. And when Leliana and the others finally showed up out of the blue, Alistair didn't know which emotion to show first. Anger at being drugged and left behind. Relief at being able to see Riel again, and knowing that she was safe. Anxious at giving her the evidence he had found of the assassin's treachery.

While he still didn't regret showing Riel the letter he found, after hearing about they had endured during the Deep Roads, Alistair wished he had waited first. Given her at least some time to rest before dropping that on her. The way it was…. The days and nights since leaving Orzammar have been perhaps even harder than the ones he spent in Tapsters, unsure if she even lived while he drowned himself in their piss ale.

At least trapped there, he didn't have to witness first hand the pain that she was enduring. The way Riel was after he had showed her the letter, however… It had killed him to see her like that. The deadness in her eyes. It was worse than even how she was back in the Circle Tower after they had defeated the nightmare demon. And at the Inn, where she just  _tore_  through those men with her magic… Magic! Of all things! Yet in all the battles they had fought since meeting her, not once had she ever used any sort of magic.

The only time she showed the dangerous power that rested within her was at the Inn, and after Alistair had given her that letter. The fury she showed while he argued with that assassin was something out of Chantry tales, told to young men training to be Templars about the dangers that magic was. How even the most innocent looking of people could be hiding the power to bend the very world to their will. Even after spending time fighting alongside Morrigan and Wynne had not prepared Alistair for the sight of Riel, her body glowing in barely controlled power. With fire and electricity sparking in the very air around her as she yelled out in anger.

It was the first time Alistair actually felt true fear when it came to a mage, he realized thinking back on it. Quick on the heels of that realization came another thought, however. One that was just as unpleasant and brought with it a whole slew of questions that he knew would be difficult to bring up. Yet, the absence of answers gnawed at him.

Alistair knew that he was already on dangerously thin footing as it was. His earlier blunder with Riel was still easily felt in the soreness of his jaw. However, if what he was thinking was true, it would paint the night before in much different light than he thought. After all, Alistair knew that Riel left her blades back at camp. Leliana had returned them to Riel's tent after she had run off in her foolish search for the assassin. Yet even without the daggers, she wasn't exactly  _defenceless_  was she? No mage was. Not unless you bound their hands or were a Templar.

_Were her hands bound? There didn't seem to be any rope marks on her wrists. Wynne didn't mention seeing anything. Just a wound in her leg, along with the minor cuts and bruises that were still visible. Why didn't she defend herself?_

Without even noticing what he was doing, Alistair found himself making swift strides over to the fire where Riel and the others sat. Seated in between the assassin's legs as she normally did when they rested at camp, she looked strange not in her familiar leather armor. Yet no less lovely. Perhaps it was the overly large tunic that fell in an ill fitted manner around her, or the way she seemed to smile so freely as she talked with the other two rogues. It was enough however to make Alistair pause, his mind drifting as he watched fascinated by the way her hair fell around her face as she spoke or the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed.

"Alistair? Did you need something?"

The sweet lilt of Leliana's voice dragging Alistair's mind back from the forbidden thoughts his mind often tormented him with. With all three sets of eyes looking up at him, Alistair felt his face flush, unsure of how to begin. After all, he didn't have the best track record when it came to speaking around Riel. And this time was starting to seem no different than any of the others.

"I need to ah…. That is, I wanted to ask… Well, I guess you had your reasons, I suppose, though I don't see why you wouldn't, especially given…. Which just makes it all the more strange…-"

"Alistair? I think I see Sten coming back from getting what he needed for the drying racks. Didn't you say that you were interested in learning how to make the new drying racks he mentioned?" Leliana rushed out, standing quickly to her feet and moving over to where Alistair stood.

"You have magic, don't you? You are a mage after all. So why didn't you use it? Against the slavers, I mean."

Leliana audibly groaned, her head dropping down into her hands as Alistair voiced his questions. Down by the fire, Riel felt the blood leave her face at the same time Zevran seemed to flush with anger. The muscles of his arms around her twitching in a similar manner as they were back by the stream when she first explained what happened between her and the ex-Templar.

"I… ah… my… m-my…" Riel stuttered, completely unprepared for the blunt question. The only mentions of her more hidden abilities had been in hushed whispers or without direct words being used. Even Oghren just seemed to go along with it, most likely have been spoken to about the difficult situation by one of the others.

This was the first time though that it was brought right out in the open like this. Without pretense or careful words, disguised or cloaked for the sake of privacy or safety. The ever feared 'M' word out in plain sight and stated fully, as if her having magic was as a common and well accustomed thing as Wynne or Morrigan's magic.

Zevran gave a gentle squeeze to Riel before standing to his full height next to the human. While not as tall as the other man, what Zevran lacked in height he more than made up for in guile and agility, something both men knew well. Where Alistair made the large upper body of a warrior, Zevran was all sinew and dexterity, making even any visually perceived differences an untrained eye may notice. Yet while Zevran stepped closer to the warrior with a smile on his lips and an easy stance, those who knew a thing or two about fighting saw something completely different.

Which was why both Leliana and Riel were immediately at the male's sides, moving to place them themselves between the two of them.

"Alistair my  _friend_ , I think that perhaps it is time for that discussion I mentioned earlier…" Zevran stated with a smile, his voice just as light as if he were talking to Wynne or one of the others. Yet there was no mistaking the deep lethal undertones hidden there, masked by his normal easy going cadence.

"Oh? That's funny, I don't remember agreeing to one. In fact, I had actually been trying to speak with Riel. Something that didn't involve  _you_."

"Ah, but I promised you a lesson in blades many weeks back, my Templar friend. Back when your rather unfortunately timing interrupted my lovely Riel and I by the river outside of Haven. A lesson, I might add, that I reminded of you again after we left Orzammar several days ago. It just so happens that seeing as we find ourselves staying here for a short period, that I have time now. So come, my large hulking  _mujeres de pendejo_. Let us discuss that lesson!"

"Zevran! Alistair!" Riel exclaimed, trying fruitlessly to gain either male's attention as they glared at each other.

"You know, perhaps that isn't such a bad idea," Leliana huffed.

"What? You've  _got_  to be kidding! Leliana!" exclaimed Riel, looking over to her friend in shock and surprise.

"I agree. I think there is a few things I can discuss with  **you** ,  _assassin_ ," Alistair hissed, his voice much harsher compared to what Zevran's had been.

"Alistair!"

"Excellent!" Zevran smiled broadly. "This has been a long time coming. It will be good to to talk, man to man."

"Zevran!"

"Riel, Zevran's right. This has been coming for a long time. Might as well let the men have their little 'talk'," Leliana stated, placing her hand lightly on Riel's shoulder.

"What? No!" Riel yelled, her face flushed with anger and concern. "You can't all be serious! Zevran!"

Zevran turned to face Riel, his eyes meeting her for the first time since Alistair approached them. Placing his hands on either side of her face, he stared down into her liquid silver depths. "Trust me,  _mi bella._ Everything will be alright."

"Zevran…"

"I promise you shall still have your warrior by the end of our discussion. In mostly well enough shape, as well. At least by the time we need to be travelling again in a few days time," he added with a wink.

"What about you?" she pleaded, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

Zevran pulled Riel tightly against him, his body becoming flush with her own. "Do you feel that,  _mi amor_? Down below, by your hip?" he whispered in a quiet purr into her ear so only she could hear. "I promised to ravage you full later did I? Mmm, I think perhaps I did. And that is one promise that I shall be keeping." Zevran than kissed her deeply, not caring if the others witnessed his love or passion for the woman in his arms.

" _Ar lath ma,_ " Riel murmured against his lips. She then looked up into his eyes, losing herself for a moment in the love she witnessed there. " _Dareth shiral, ma vhenan. Tel'enfenim mi'lin Fen'harel_."

"Never, my love," chuckled Zevran. He then placed one more kiss upon her lips before turning to face Alistair once more. "Come Alistair. Let us speak quickly, for I have promised my dear lady Warden her own blade lesson later this evening."

"Wait! Before you go boys, some ground rules!" Leliana hurriedly interjected before they walked away. "One: no weapons. We want you boys coming back in  _one piece_ , thank you very much. And two: no armor. Just you manly men and all your manliness," she giggled.

"Anything for such a lovely redheaded beauty,  _mi amiga_ ," Zevran laughed as he handed Riel both of his daggers. "I expect these back when I return,  _mi bella_. You will keep them safe for me,  _yes_?" he asked with a dazzling smile down at her. Riel only nodded her head as she clasped the blades to her chest. "Good. Now, the armor!" Zevran cast a teasing look over to Leliana. "We are allowed to keep our clothes though,  _yes_? Although, it wouldn't be the first time that I had interesting discussion with other men while naked. Do we have any oil? I am sure Alistair and I could provide you ladies with some excellent entertainment!"

"What?!" Alistair exclaimed, his face going beet red.

"Now that is an idea, Zevran…" Leliana teased, her eyes roaming luridly over Alistair's still very much clothed body.

"No! Absolutely not!"

"Oh come now Alistair, I am sure you have nothing to be embarrassed of. True, it is a bit chilly out here, but I am sure these fine ladies will certainly take that into account."

"I am  **not**  getting naked!" Alistair exclaimed heatedly.

"Who is getting naked now?" Wynne asked as she joined the laughing women.

"Zevran and Alistair. They are going to oil themselves up and wrestle to entertain us in true manly fashion!" Leliana explained through a laughing fit.

"And me without sweets or cookies to share!" giggled Wynne.

"Maker's breath!  **No!**  That is not it at all! Leliana tell her!" Alistair pleaded.

"Did someone say cookies?"

"Will you care to watch with us Sten? Or perhaps would you like to join in?" teased Leliana as she looked over to the approaching giant.

"What a brilliant idea, my lovely Leliana!" Zevran laughed excitedly. "Perhaps we could get Oghren as well! Make it a true event for our ladies to watch!"

"Kill me. Now. Maker.  _Please_ ," Alistair groaned desperately.


	44. A Lesson Delivered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> None this chapter.

"Well, you have succeeded in getting me alone, my dear Templar. Alas, there is to be no naked oil wrestling, so I suppose I will just have to make due with more entertaining ways to teach you the lessons you so sorely are in need of."

Alone in a small clearing of the brush and woods that existed beyond the camp, the two men stared at each other. Far enough from the camp as to not be disturbed, yet not so far away that they were left without aid in case something came along wishing to take advantage of their disarmed status. Standing no more than six feet apart, their bodies seemed primed for conflict even if they both expressed it differently.

Alistair, with his warrior and Templar training, rolled his shoulders as his body primed itself for strength and brutality. His muscles tensed and relaxed, coiling in anticipation of doling out damage with hard yet precise strikes that focused on strength and focused power.

Zevran on the other hand was almost the exact opposite. His stance wasn't one that suggested battle, but of relaxation. The muscles under his clothing did not tense and release as Alistair's did, begging for action. Instead, his body spoke of the lazied calm one would expect of a man at rest in safety. Even as each man circled the other, Zevran's stance remained at ease while Alistair's stature boiled with promise of pain yet to be delivered.

"Teaching  _me_  a lesson,  _assassin_? That's a laugh. I may be without my sword, but that won't stop me from making you bleed for every insult and filthy word you have uttered since joining us. And that is not even counting what I am going to do you for what what you've done to Riel."

"What  _I_  have done? Tell me, what have I done, Alistair? Made her smile? Made her laugh? Given her a restful night's sleep for the first in her life? Yes, such  _wicked_  crimes I have committed," Zevran laughed.

"You know what you've done, elf!" Alistair roared, lifting an accusatory finger and pointing it at Zevran's chest. "Your sneakiness may work on her and the others in camp, but I've seen what your kind does. I've seen what men like you do to the poor women who are unfortunate enough to be fall into their paths!"

Zevran sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "It is true, there is much in my past that I have yet to atone for. Much that I do regret, while others, not so much. And the gods know that I haven't always acted in the best ways in regards to the lovely female Warden. Yet those actions are not  _yours_  to call out for recompense for."

"So you admit that you've hurt her!" cursed Alistair, his face reddening from anger.

"Alistair, I will  _never_  deny my failings, especially when it comes to Riel," Zevran hissed out, his eyes sparking anger as he looked at the man across from him. "However, none of what I have done was  _ever_  due to selfish desires on my own part. I may have stumbled in my care for the Warden, but I have  _ **never**_  set out to cause her pain. Can  _you_  honestly say the same? How much of your interest in the Warden is because of your own selfishness? You claim to care for her deeply - even  _love_  her…-"

"I  _ **do**_  love her, assassin!"

"So you claim. Yet you do not speak to her as a man in love would. As a man in love  _should_. Your words show that you have nothing but a selfish obsession with the Warden! One that is based on your own needs!  **Not**  hers!"

"What do you know of  _love_  assassin? People like you know nothing of  _real_  feelings! Lying and scheming to gain people's trust! An assassin raised in a whorehouse in Antiva thinks to lecture  _me_  on love! Maker preserve us!"

"You are right, Alistair," Zevran smirked, shaking his head sadly. "I am the son of whore, raised in a whorehouse and trained by assassins until I was little more than another weapon to be used by those who owned me. What do I know of  _real_  love? Yet I have seen the  _illusion of love_  sold more convincingly than what you have expressed for Riel. You are no different than the men who came to spend their coin on the whores who danced for them. With your own desires standing as firmly as the cock hidden behind your trousers when you see a beautiful woman before you. The object of your desire - a simple means to an end. And when you attain that slice of purchased heaven, you move on, seeking another well to fill."

"How dare you! That is  **not**  how I feel for Riel!" Alistair roared out.

"Isn't it? A man in love would not call her people  _knife-ears_. Or say that he understands why they are put in the Alienages that keep them separate from the rest of the people. Or that the Dalish - the people who adopted her - are  _savages_  for living outside of the cities and towns. Yet I have seen you say all these things. Even in front of her! You say you love her, but would a man in love rush forward his own plan to crush her with devastating news immediately after escaping a literal hell that had already left her drained and weary?"

"It was  _ **your**_  letter!"

"Precisely.  **My**  letter. The context surrounding it was mine to tell,  **not**  yours. And even had I wished to reveal the letter to Riel - which I was planning to do  _after_  I dealt with my former clanmates - I wouldn't have been so daft as to place such a weight on her immediately after exiting the Deep Roads! A place where she suffered constantly, because for some reason  _you_  were too important to risk to such evils!"

"I wanted to take her place in going! You know that!"

"Yes well, it seems  _my_  mother wasn't the only whore, was she? The difference being that  _ **I**_ learned to become a gentleman even though I was an assassin. You on the the other hand, my dear Templar, have ever remained the  _bastard_."

"That's it!" Alistair roared as he rushed forward in a frenzy, his right arm reaching back in ready to strike out a punch. Unfortunately for Alistair, Zevran had been waiting for his attack. With a quick step to the side, the more agile elf dodged the attack entirely.

"Oh much too slow Alistair!" laughed Zevran, his eyes lighting up in evil mischief.

Alistair quickly turned and struck out with his fist again, yet all he hit was air where the damnable elf's jaw should have been. On the third strike, Zevran rolled along to the outside of Alistair's body, bringing the back of his elbow down hard against the back of the warrior's head. Alistair stumbled forward a few steps, his vision flashing stars before he shook out his head to clear it.

"You know, I could teach you to not to show off your attacks so easily, my friend. It could help…"

"Teach this, you blasted  **elf!** " Alistair growled as he came at Zevran again. Only instead of striking out with his fist, Alistair feigned the blow of his right fist just enough to get Zevran to attempt another roll to the side. Alistair then struck out with left fist, landing solidly in the elf's stomach.

The air momentarily gone from his lungs, Zevran was not prepared for the hard drive to his midsection from Alistair's knee. However he used the downward momentum to duck down low, sweeping out his leg and knocking Alistair to the ground before he could land another blow.

"Better, Alistair," Zevran replied with a cough, still smiling even though several of his ribs now felt broken. "However, you still need to focus more on your footwork. Even for a warrior, you are  _far_  too clumsy."

Alistair scrambled to his feet, his eyes seething in hatred and anger as he stared at the other man. "Don't you ever just  _shut up_?" he growled before rushing at Zevan again.

Two missed strikes hit only air, while a third was feigned yet still the counter that followed was missed. In a rage Alistair opted for a straight out drive of his whole body, knocking both of them to the ground with Alistair on top. While Zevran tried to dodge the hits that the warrior struck with, his ability to move was hamped by the weight that now sat squarely on his already aching ribs.

"You took her away from me!  _ **I**_ was supposed to be the one to have her! To ease her pain! To help her sleep and smile and be happy again! It was  _ **me**_ **!**  And you took it all away!" Alistair roared out, bringing his fists down in heavy blows to Zevran's face and jaw.

Zevran knew he wouldn't last long like this. Already his vision was dimming and his head felt ready to split apart. Yet he would not fail in this. Not when he wasn't just fighting for himself, but for the one person in all of existence who he would gladly die for. Zevran reached down for that inner well of power and resilience that he touched whenever he fought in a battle and was close to collapsing, yet stubbornly refused to while his Riel still needed him. That slice of himself that he never even knew existed until he first saw her dancing with her blades as she fought against the trap that he had laid.

Locking one arm around Alistair's knee while the other arm he used for the added leverage he needed to swing one of his legs up and around Alistair's waist. Difficult, yet Zevran was nothing if not flexible, stemming from years of training and his natural elven biology. With a well timed twist, Alistair was rolled off Zevran's chest and to the ground beside him. In a flash, Zevran was straddling Alistair, a small knife that he had taken from his boot up against the warrior's thick neck.

"So much for no weapons. You can always count on an assassin to cheat," Alistair spat out as he glared up at Zevran.

"What? This?" Zevran asked, looking down at the blade that he held. "This is no weapon, Alistair. It is merely a tool. One that has many uses, I might add. It can cut one's food. Pry apart loose pieces of wood. Cut bindings, or even clean under one's fingernails. Yet it is no weapon. I would not disgrace the very real daggers that both the lovely Riel and I wield by calling this  _thing_  a weapon."

"You both may use daggers to fight, but Riel is  _nothing_  like you."

"Ah, in many ways you are right, my dear Templar," Zevran said with a deep sigh. "She is a light to the darkness that I have lived in. A warmth to the coldness that was my existence. In so many ways, she is better than I. Her compassion, her desire to aid those in need. Her ability to forgive even those who are  _ **completely**_  unworthy of her…."

"Such as yourself!"

"I have never denied such! Believe me, my friend, I know very well that I do not deserve the goddess that she is. Yet for some reason, she has chosen to share her love with me."

"Because you tricked her!"

"Tricked? No. I have not tricked her, Alistair. I have only chosen to love her in the way she needed to be love. Not as some selfish act to possess, but as one devoted to her every happiness, whether that is with me or not." Zevran smiled sadly, his memories of the wretched nights spent away from her surfacing in his mind. "You see, a man such as yourself would go to any length to possess that which he sees as beautiful and precious. And that is to be commendable, in it's in own way. However, some things are never  _meant_  be to possessed. They are too wild; too free to ever be controlled. They would suffer under any claims of ownership, and would never be happy within the walls one like you would erect to keep them safe."

"You know nothing of Riel!" spat Alistair, his temper still seething.

"Oh I know her very well, my dear Templar. For as much as she is different and so much better than I, we are still so very much the same."

"She is  _ **nothing**_  like you! You kill for the pleasure of it! You hunt down and murder people for coin or because you simply  _could_. Riel is not like that!"

"Is she not? Have you not seen the wildness that overtakes her during battle? The deep satisfaction that she expresses whenever she cuts down another living thing, whether bandit or otherwise? Remember that not everyone who Riel ever had killed attacked her first. There were several times where she quickly reached out and slit the throat of men who merely threatened her. There were battles that she could have even easily avoided, instead she launched her own surprise attack, routing every last enemy before her. She  _enjoys_  the killings, Alistair. The blood that she sheds with her daggers. Knowing that because of her, another pile of  _filth_  will no longer plague the people of Thedas. She is a goddess, but not one of dainty vanity that would look on dark deeds with horror. No, she is a goddess of war. Of battle. Of beauty and awe even as blood covers her and the screams of her victims echo in her ears. The lovely Warden may show deep compassion and kindness to those she deems worthy, yet she is a vengeful goddess of death and destruction to all those that oppose her. And she  _revels_  in it."

"Then it something  _you_  have done to her! Corrupting her!"

"You are free to convince yourself of that. However even you cannot be so blind as to truly believe something so foolish. Think back to the battles you fought before I laid my trap for you Wardens. You travelled with her for weeks before I met any of you. Think to the battles at Ostagar. The fighting leading to the town of Lothering. Even the bandits and thugs you met afterwards. Remember her face as she killed each one. The look of satisfaction on her face when they all laid dead at her feet.

See, you have mistaken Riel as a woman in need of saving. A pretty thing alone in a tower, waiting for her knight to come charging to her rescue. Yet in truth Riel would have set fire to the tower and all that bound her, as she did every other time others have tried to bind her to their wills. She is  _not_  a maiden to be saved. She is a woman to offer your aid when she can no longer stand on her own. To feed when she forgets to eat herself. To listen to when she expresses her worries and fears. And to hold her when the strength that she has clawed to herself wavers under the impossible weight that is placed upon her.

She is a force of nature, going where she will. Never to be controlled or tamed. One cannot  _tame_  the wind. Or  _control_  the rain as it pelts down relentlessly on any caught in its path.  _Rescue_  a fire as it burns its way across a plain of grass. Riel  _doesn't_  need rescuing. The only thing a woman such as Riel needs is a safe place to rest while she rescues herself, and the rest of the blasted world who always ask  **far**  too much of her."

"I have seen the way that you look at her. You wish to  _tame_  her. To bind her to yourself with your well practiced charm and sweet words!"

Zevran sighed, pushing himself off Alistair and standing up. "No, my Templar friend. I have never wished such. My only wish is to love her. And for my love to be accepted by her, in any way in which she wishes it. You see, you were right about one thing. I knew nothing of  _real_  love. Not until I met her. Not until I realized that my happiness, my desires, even my very life were meaningless when it came to her. That if she said the word, I would gladly sacrifice my life to make her happy or to ease her burdens. That if she sent me away from her, I would willingly leave her sight. Yet I could never abandon her. I would still watch her, keeping her safe even if she never learned of my presence.

Before Riel, I knew nothing of love. Since she has so graciously allowed me into her life, I have known every emotion possible to such an extent that would have made no sense to the man who I used to be. Joy, sorrow, jealousy, hate, anger, fear, happiness, and most importantly love. You say I wish to  _tame_  her. To bind her to myself. Yet those are the last things that I ever wished. You see, Alistair, you do not tame that which you love. You do not bind it, instead you set it free. You do not seek to  _possess_  it. You open yourself up, so that it can possess  _you_.

That is what I have learned love to be since meeting Riel. Believe me if you wish to or not. Yet I simply can no longer stand by while you so carelessly hurt her with your words and actions. Grey Warden, prince, ally against the Blight... None of that matters to me. What matters to me is that no more of Riel's tears are shed due to your callousness. That she doesn't have to battle against  _you_  while also battling everything else that fate has thrown at her."

"I hate you so much…" Alistair groaned in exasperation, his eyes on the sky above. "However, perhaps you are right about a few things…" Alistair then lifted his arm up, offering his hand to Zevran. "Help me up, you sodding elf."

Zevran chuckled, striking out his palm and clasping Alistair's outstretched arm. Yet as soon as their flesh touched, Alistair yanked his arm down roughly, pulling Zevran down to the ground. In a swift move, Alistair had Zevran on his stomach, face first into the grass while the arm Alistair still clung to was twisted behind Zevran's back at a painful angle. With one heavy palm holding down Zevran's arm and the other on the elf's neck, Alistair had the man pinned down beneath him.

"You are right that fate has given Riel far too much to handle. I'll agree with you about that. But that is precisely what you will never understand about her, and something only another Warden can," Alistair hissed down into Zevran's ear. "Only another Warden will know her troubles,  _assassin_. Will know the pain she suffers. Will understand the heavy burden take being a Grey Warden is. And only another Warden will  _ever_  understand the Taint that courses through her even now. The same as it courses through me. That is a connection that you will  _never_  have with her. And when her nightmares come… When she sees the Darkspawn in her dreams and hears the voice of the Archdemon calling her down one last time into the Deep Roads…  _ **I**_  will be there for her. I will understand her like you  _ **never**_  will. And that is something that all your false charm or honeyed words will  **never**  be able to take away from us."

Zevran coughed slightly, the sound mixing with his deep laugh as he laid pinned under the warrior. "You know, that would be true, my Templar friend. Except for one little thing…"

Zevran twisted his free arm behind him, locking his elbow with Alistair's. Then with a quick kick out of his leg, he knocked out Alistair's knee that was holding the majority of the warrior's weight. The combined effort sent the warrior off balance, allowing Zevran to twist his body and roll over, taking Alistair with him. With Alistair now on his back with Zevran on top of him, the elf snapped his head back into Alistair's nose, breaking it.

"Maker's balls!" Alistair exclaimed, pain shooting through his face as blood began to rush out of his now broken nose.

With eyes clouded by tears, he tried rolling to his side in an effort to repin Zevran under him. Yet the elf was too quick, leaping to his feet and away from the Templar's grasp. Zevran then grabbed hold of Alistair's wrist and pulled the other man fully onto his stomach.

"You know, if you are going to disable your opponent, you should learn to  _never-_ " Zevran kicked his foot straight into Alistair's elbow, breaking the joint.

" **Aahh!** " Alistair screamed out, his voice nearly as loud as the break had been.

"Never leave them with the ability-" Zevran reached for Alistair's other arm, instead choosing to yank the limb backwards, pulling the joint from it's socket at the shoulder. "To fight back, or to get free."

"By the Void!" Alistair screamed again, his body trying to twist itself around.

Zevran then sat down by Alistair's legs, trapping one of them in a tight leg hold. "Tell me, Alistair… Did your nightmares include what the Darkspawn did to those who were captured?" Zevran took hold of Alistair's left foot, pulling the boot from it then tossing it aside. "What they did to the women? How they create more? Because you see,  _ **I**_  know what happens." Zevran grasped the warrior's foot and twisted, snapping the ankle bone and shin in several places. Again Alistair screamed, yet Zevran just removed Alistair's other boot and tossed it with the other one. "Because I gave that horror to Riel. Not willingly, mind you. The dreams she suffered…. I caused it so she would not be able to wake from them. So they continued to torture her, showing her every horror known to history." Another snap and more screaming. "I know her nightmares, because she told me. Sobbing in my arms as I held her." Zevran stood, releasing Alistair's now useless limbs. "And that is the true difference between you and I, Alistair. You take glory in sharing her misery. Her pain. Her suffering." Zevran was seething as he spoke, remembering every tear Riel shed as he held her. How she trembled in his arms as she recounted everything she could from the nightmares that still continued to haunt her every time they camped deep underground. With his foot, Zevran pushed the Templar over to his back, then he crouched down close to Alistair's head and stared into his eyes. "You would seek kinship through the evil that is slowly killing her. Whereas I plan to  _cure_  her of it."

"I-Impossible…" Alistair stammered, pain shooting through his body even as he glared at the elf above him.

"Perhaps," Zevran replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "However, I have never been one to deny a challenge. Especially one with so worthy of a reward." Zevran chuckled softly to himself, taking the time to wipe a line of blood from his chin. "Make no mistake, my  _friend_. Whatever you think of me, or what you think of my relationship with the lady Warden - none of that matters. I  _will_  see Riel free from this curse that was forced upon her. Even if I have to battle the very Maker to do so."

"Y-you are in-sane…"

Zevran laughed, his voice echoing around the small clearing they were in. "Of course! I am  _in love_! And  _that_ , my dear Templar, is the lesson that I shall leave you with today. Whatever I was in Antiva; whatever I was before meeting Riel - a killer, a thief, a deadly assassin - I am so much more  _dangerous_  now. Before, I was but a man. A weapon crafted and honed to deadly proportions. Now, I am a man in love with a woman. And I will  _never_  hesitate to use what I learned in my previous life to fight for, defend, and save the woman whom I love."

Zevran then stood up, a small groan leaving his lips as the aches in body still clawed at his insides. Yet satisfaction bloomed in his chest, knowing that the fool was in far worse shape than he was. With a sigh, Zevran looked down at Alistair, watching with a disconnected feeling of minor interest as the warrior struggled to control his broken limbs and attempt to stand.

"Do not worry, for I am not so heartless to you leave you out here as you are. As much as you may  _deserve_  such. I will send Wynne to you when I return to the camp. With her healing, you should be able to fight again in another day or so. Just as I promised you would be."

"I  _ **hate**_  you!" Alistair seethed from the ground below.

"I would expect nothing less, my friend. However, there is but one thing that I wish for you think on from this point on. For every single tear you cause our lady Warden to shed, I will break another one of your bones. Sound fair? Good," Zevran replied, grinning. "Now, I will see you back at camp, my Templar friend.  _After_  I fully ravish Riel of course, bringing her to heights of ecstasy and pleasure that you could only dream of. Perhaps you will be back in time to hear her calling out my name as she climaxes. One can hope,  _no_?"

Zevran then walked away, heading in the direction back to camp. A deep laugh escaping his lips as he walked, leaving the broken and bruised Templar behind.


	45. The Flames of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Chapter rated M (mature) 18+ for adult content.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mi amiga: Antivan. "My friend."
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Emma lath: Elvhen. "My love."
> 
> Ma vhenan: Elvhen. "My heart."
> 
> Ma isala'ne: Elvhen. "I need you."
> 
> Ma nuvenin: Elvhen. "As you wish."
> 
> Por favor nunca me sale, mi único amor: Antivan. "Please never leave me, my only love."

 

Riel paced around the fire, impatience and worry marking her face. The men had been gone for only a short time, yet the fear that she felt grow inside of her refused to abate. It wasn't that she doubted Zevran's abilities in a fight. Riel had fought alongside of him for long enough to know how well of a fighter he was. Strong, agile, and quick on his feet, he was everything Riel wished herself to be when it came to duel wielding. His strikes were always on point, striking fast and with deadly accuracy as he took down the enemies before him.

Yet, she also knew Alistair as well. Knew how brutal he could be. How he would slam into opponents, knocking them down with his shield or lifting up something as large as Hurlock with a single hand and slamming it down to the ground before running it through with his sword. Alistair wasn't slow on his feet, and his strength wasn't something to be scoffed at. There was a reason why Riel valued him as a fighter. Why she put up with his mouth and rude remarks.

He was one of the best warriors that Riel had ever seen. Not that she had ever said so to him. The male Grey Warden had enough of an ego as it was. And knowing him, Alistair would probably take her admission and praise as some sort of invitation as a further invitation to pursue her. Alistair was a brilliant warrior. However, that is where his brilliance ended. In all other matters, he seemed immune to reason and the reality of Riel's feelings regarding him.

"You should sit down and relax, Riel. They will return soon, enough. And knowing men, probably be good friends because of this."

Riel looked over to Leliana, amazed that the woman could be so calm at a moment like this. When two of the best fighters that she ever had ever seen were now currently squaring off against each other out some Voidforsaken idea of ' _male honor'_. Whatever that meant. To Riel, it was just further foolishness. If Alistair angered her, than in Riel's mind,  _she_  should be the one dealing with it! Why did Zevran have to be the one?

"I just don't understand it, Lei," Riel huffed, her arms crossed tightly across her chest. "For as much of an ass as Alistair is, most of the time it's  _me_  that he's being an ass to.  _Not_  Zevran. So why is he off fighting Alistair because of what the idiot said to  _me_?"

"Oh it is not so strange," Leliana smiled, that curious knowing look of hers on her beautiful face. "I remember one time while I was in Val Royeaux, a rather handsome noble had taken a liking to me. He was such a sweet man, sending me flowers and buying me beautiful gifts. However, I was already involved with another man. Not a noble, but he had done well for himself. Jealous of the courtship of this other man, the man I was with challenged the noble to a duel. They met at daybreak, and fought against the other with superb skill, yet my lover ended up being the victor. Proud of himself, he came to me, spouting of his victory and how he had 'won' me - as if I were a valued prize!" Leliana giggled as she remembered the story, yet Riel's brow only furrowed further.

"We aren't  _prizes_  to be won, Leliana! We are women! We aren't some… some  _object_!" Riel angrily spat out, her hands waving in her frustration.

"Oh I know. And I told my lover such when he returned to me," Leliana replied, still with a smile on her lips. "I was furious at him! Yet even as I scolded him, still my lover smiled. After my anger was spent, he just laughed, saying he didn't fight the duel to  _win me_. He told me, that women's hearts could never be simply  _won_. They can only be  _earned_. And that was what he had won. My lover had fought the other man over the right to  _earn_  my heart."

"That's stupid!" cursed Riel, shaking her head. "Zevran already  _has_  my heart! He doesn't have to endanger himself to earn something he already has!"

"He isn't."

"Leliana, as much as I love you, sometimes you are just as cryptic as an old woman!"

Leliana laughed, her bright summer green eyes lighting up with the mischief and mirth wholly befitting her roguish nature. "Perhaps I have been spending too much time with Wynne?" she giggled softly.

"Not yet. I still  _understand_  you. Most of the time," Riel replied with a frustrated sigh.

"Come sit, Riel," Leliana patted the earth by the fire where she sat. "Zevran and Alistair will be back soon. Then you can yell at both at them all you want. Something which I am sure will be much more frightening to both men than facing off against each other."

Riel grumbled as she sat next to other woman. Crossing her legs under her, Riel's mind drifted back to when Zevran promised to return to her. He was so sure of himself, as he always was. And the way he pressed against her, his promise to do wicked things to her afterwards in her ears… Riel felt herself flush just remembering it. Yet at the same time, she was furious that he left in the first place.

"Zevran knows that he has you, Riel. That is not what he fighting for," Leliana stated, almost as if she could read the swirling thoughts inside of Riel's mind.

"Then why do it?"

"Because men are men. Some are good, some are bad. Some pretend to be good, and others pretend to be bad. But all of them are men. When they want something - truly desire it - the good ones will never feel worthy of it. The bad ones will want it, whether they are worthy of it or not. The ones pretending to be good will desire it to make themselves look better. And the ones pretending to be bad will sometimes do whatever they can to get it, only to regret it afterwards."

"Old woman talk again…" Riel teasingly grumbled to her friend.

"Alistair wants to be the one to have you, Riel." Despite her earlier protests, the bluntness of Leliana's words still caught Riel off guard. "Do not look so shocked. You heard himself out of Orzammar. He loves you."

Riel shook her head in disbelief. "He  _thinks_  he loves me. He acts like an ass towards me though."

"Which is exactly the problem. Right now, Alistair is fighting for a right to be able to court you, as Zevran has."

"And what? Zevran is defending his own right? Protecting what he thinks of as  _his_?" Riel snapped, bristling at the idea. As much as she loved Zevran, she wasn't property to be  _fought_  over. Something to be owned or traded or won as some sort of object. Riel had already enough of that type of life forced on her. And she wasn't willing to ever go back to it.

"Not exactly. Zevran is…" Leliana paused, her eyes on the fire in front of her.

"A complete fool, utterly undeserving of the woman that he loves."

Riel twisted herself around, surprise and joy coloring her features when she heard the rich Antivan accent behind her. Standing just a few feet away was Zevran, a sad smile on his bruised and slightly discolored face.

"Zevran!" Riel exclaimed, jumping to her feet and running over to him. Forgetting her previous anger, she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug.

"I am pleased to see you, as well,  _mi bella_ …" Zevran chuckled, ignoring the pain that her hold caused in his ribs. For her, he would endure far worse. And right now, he needed to feel her arms around him more than he cared for the pain that lanced through his upper body.

Riel pulled back and looked up at him, her smile disappearing into a mask of concern as she saw the cuts and bruises on his face. It was obvious that he had been hit several times, with what looked like a bad gash just above his right eye. Yet still his honey eyes sparkled as he gazed at her, his mouth twisting up in a smile despite the crack in his bloodied bottom lip.

"Oh Zevran! What happened?" Riel asked, her hand coming up to lightly touch one of the bruises on his cheek. Zevran caught her hand and brought her finger to his lips, kissing them softly before he smiled sweetly down at her.

"Nothing that won't heal in time,  _mi bella_."

"I'll go fetch Wynne. Last I saw, she was talking with Shale," Leliana offered with a shy smile, standing up from where she was sitting.

"That would a be good idea,  _mi amiga._  However, it would probably be best for her to see to Alistair first."

Leliana's eyes went wide with concern at his words. "Is he…" she began, unable to continue much past that as fear clutched at her chest.

"He is alive. Although in need of much healing. Not too far from here is a small clearing where she will find him. A word of caution though," he paused, staring hard into Leliana's worried eyes. "There is a poison in him that has been growing for months. Not one born of herbs or tonics, but something far more  _human_. Perhaps along with the healing of the lovely Wynne, our Templar friend would benefit from the healing hands of one familiar with that which afflicts the hearts and minds of young men? Before his own blindness leads him into falling on more than just his  _own_  blade."

"I-... I will do what I can…" Leliana responded, her features a swirl of emotions. Nodding slightly to the two elves, she then rushed off in search of the elderly healer.

"I don't understand. What is going on? What happened out there?" questioned Riel.

"Later. First, if you will allow it, I would like to retreat into your tent and simply hold you for a while,  _mi bella_."

Riel wondered at the sad look his eyes, even as he smiled at her. Taking in his hand in hers, Riel backed up slowly and led him to the tent she shared with him. " _Our_  tent, Zevran. Not just mine. It hasn't been just mine in a long time," she corrected with a soft smile.

It took some biting of his tongue, but Zevran was able to crawl inside the tent behind her. The pain in his chest expanded as he bent over, yet he was unwilling to share how badly he was hurt. True, he should seek out Wynne or perhaps even Morrigan for their magics. At the very least, Zevran knew that he should drink of a healing potion to mend the damage fighting with Alistair had done. Yet at the moment, the only thing he wanted was to feel her presence against him.

Riel pulled Zevran down onto the bedrolls next to her, noticing the slight way his features pinched with his movements. Even though he smiled at her, barely making a sound as he laid down, she could tell he was in pain. She knew this man too much to not see the way he fliched, her hearing far too developed miss the sharp intakes of breath as he adjusted himself next to her.

"Why don't you-" she began, yet her words were cut off by Zevran.

"I do not see you as an object,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran rushed out, interrupting her. "I have never seen you that way. I know you cannot be won, and as much of a treasure as you are to me, I do not see you as a prize to be bartered."

"Heard all that, did you?"

"You are not the only one with excellent hearing,  _mi amor_ ," he chuckled softly, gently touching her pointed elven ears.

"Then why?"

"I did not go off with the Templar to win you. I did so to show him that you are  _not_  a prize to be simply won." Zevran gently caressed her cheek with his fingers, loving the soft feel of her skin as he touched her. "My place with you is not something that I have to fight to defend. It is mine to offer, for you to accept or to decline on your own. I hold no claims on you other than what you give to me willingly."

"Then why fight? I mean look at you!" Riel almost cried as she looked at him, her hand coming up to lightly touch the cut above his eye. "I know you are in pain, Zevran. I see it. I can practically  _feel_  it. Why do this to yourself?"

"To protect you from someone who  _would_  seek to put a claim on you,  _mi bella_. To tell a fool that despite his own feelings, you are not someone to be taken or forced into a role against your will. I would gladly fight anyone who tried to once again put chains on you, whether they be made of steel or with words and ideas. As long as I live, no one shall ever own you again."

Riel leaned in and placed a light kiss against his lips. "You may not own me, but I still belong to you anyway, Zevran."

"Only willingly,  _mi bella_. I would have it no other way."

Riel leaned in and kissed him again, her hand resting on his chest just over his ribs. In truth, she didn't fully understand why he and Alistair went off earlier. To protect something that you cared for - that was something that Riel understood. To defend and care for those special to her, Riel knew she would do almost anything. Yet this thing between the two men… It seemed strange to her. And the fact that Zevran was hurt over it… It caused a strange feeling well up inside of Riel's chest as she kissed him. Born out of the worry she had felt, the frustration she had at being unable to him, and the deep love she felt at knowing that he was still alive - it all welled up inside of her, bringing a heated sensation to her palms.

" _Mi bella_ , are you frightened? Have I upset you?" Zevran quickly asked, his deeply concerned tone causing Riel to snap open her eyes and look at him.

"I'm fine. Why…?"

"You're burning, Riel!" Zevran exclaimed, taking gentle hold of her forearm and lifting it for her to see.

Sure enough, flames licked out from the flesh of her hands. Orange and red curled and swept in between her fingers, almost as if they were dancing to an unheard tune. Staring at her hands, Riel felt a panic swirl in her. She had only brought forth a fire like this when she was extremely angry or upset. Fear, hatred, and deep instinct for survival had always been the sole catalysts for her magic coming forth. Yet now, there was no real reason to feel any of that. In fact, before the fear at seeing the fire cradled in her palm caused in her, Riel had been feeling rather happy and peaceful. Loved.

Riel scooted away from Zevran, scared that she would hurt him with the fire that she had unwittingly called forth. She even tried shaking out her hands, yet the flames refused to abate. Riel started to panic then. She had no experience controlling the magic that welled deep inside of her. It came and went with her emotions, and only at rare times. And each time it came forth, it caused destruction and death to anything she touched.

"I can't make it stop!" she cried out as she tried shaking her hand again. "It won't go away! Creators! It won't stop!" Zevran tried getting close to her, yet Riel pulled out of his reach once more. "Don't touch me, Zevran! I don't want to hurt you!" cried Riel, her emotions driving on the fire that spread out from her fingers, causing it to move higher up her arms. Soon it would reach her chest, and from there her whole upper body. Her fear over it only making it worse.

His own pain forgotten, he knew that he had to get Riel to calm down or else she would burn down the whole tent around them. Following his instincts, he reached out for her, taking gentle hold of each of her wrists in his hands. " _Mi bella_! Listen to me!" Zevran called out to her. The flames that she called forth touched and licked at his hands, yet it didn't burn him as normal flames would. Instead a feeling of warmth was left where the flames touched him, even as the crawled over his own hands as it travelled up her arms.

"Zevran, no!"

"Riel! You must listen! Please, look at me!"

Riel forced herself to still her struggles and focus on the man holding her. She was in no danger from him. His hold on her wrists was gentle, not demanding. His voice was not threatening, but loving. Taking a deep breath, Riel lifted her tear soaked eyes to his. He was frightened of her, either. He was calm as he gazed at her. His honey eyes filled with love, a soft smile on his lips.

"You are safe, Riel. And so am I."

Riel felt herself shudder, her anxiety and fear ebbing away as he looked on her. Slowly she allowed herself to breathe in deeply, calming herself. "I-I don't understand," she whispered, catching sight of the way the flames she called forth dancing peacefully over Zevran's hands as he held her.

Zevran lifted one of her hands to his face, causing Riel to try to pull her hand back in surprise. "Trust me,  _mi bella_. I trust you," he stated softly with a smile. Carefully he lifted her still fiery palm to his face, letting her cup his cheek. "It doesn't hurt. You haven't hurt me,  _mi bella_."

Riel watched in amazement as the darkening bruise that was forming on his cheek started to lighten and clear as the flames licked at it. Mesmerized, Riel moved her hand across his face, watching as the cuts and bruises he had gotten earlier healed and disappeared under her soft touch. Even the gash above his eye closed, the flesh weaving itself back together before her very eyes.

Zevran closed his eyes as he felt the warmth invade him from her touch. The pains that he had been feeling eased and were swept away under the new warmth that she gave to him. Even the deep headache he had developed from one of Alistair's blows was now lost, gently burned away by the fire that Riel had called forth. Zevran had been healed by magic many times in the past. Yet this felt nothing like that. While each mage's magic was unique to them, and as such carried with it a slightly different feel, what Zevran felt now could not even be compared to what he experienced before.

The only time he had ever felt this type of warmth before was when he was making love to Riel. The sweet feeling of love and trust as he glided inside of her. This was the same feeling as then, yet somehow different at the same time. There was no heavy undertones of lust fueling the feeling. No pounding need as his climax neared as he pleasured her. This feeling was just the simple love of her. The sharing of trust, intimacy, and love that was hers alone to give.

His face now healed, Riel lowered her hands, dropping to his neck and down further to his chest. The pain that she knew he felt called out her, drawing her hands down to his ribs and abdomen. The fire she weaved going through the tunic he wore, yet not burning it. Still, Riel felt a need to touch his flesh. To lay her hands upon his golden skin without the stiff fabric between them.

"Zevran, you shirt…" she whispered. Without opening his eyes, Zevran quickly discarded the tunic, lifting it over his head and tossing it aside. "Now… Lay back…" Riel crooned softly, her hands pressing against his skin.

Zevran let himself be guided by her, falling back to the bedrolls beneath them. With his back against the ground, he felt Riel straddle his waist, being careful to not put any pressure on his chest or stomach. Zevran opened his eyes then, gasping in amazement as Riel seemed to nearly glow from some inner source of light under skin. Her hands still covered in flames, she then gently touched his chest, her fingers seeking out the most painful areas as if guided by some knowing force.

"You are so beautiful…" he whispered as he watched her, the words spilling forth of their volition.

Riel softly smiled as she ran her hands over him. The flames from her hands leapt out as she touched him, entering Zevran's skin as it healed the wounds beyond what she could physically see. Massaging him as she healed him, Riel let her hands wander over his chest, guided by her instincts and the love she felt for him. Even when every last wound was mended, still her fire remained as she touched him.

"I wish to see you fully," Zevran softly begged, his voice husky with need. However when Riel tried to lift the tunic over her head, Zevran took hold of her hands and shook his head. "Please,  _mi bella_ … let me…"

Zevran than sat up, keeping her straddling his waist. Slowly his hands drifted down her shoulders and arms, caressing her skin with his own gentle touch. When he reached the hem of the tunic, he lifted it slowly over her making sure to allow his fingers to graze her skin as he went up. With it past her head, he tossed it aside before return his hands to her skin. Still the inner glow he witnessed from before was there, shining out from her skin as he held her.

"Gods above…" he whispered as he looked upon her. With no breastband or undergarments shielding her, she was completely naked before him.

The way Zevran gazed on Riel had always caused a flush under her skin, yet now that same feeling was more intense. The flames that had sprung from her skin now erupted from her whole body as she straddled his waist. A light shimmer of fire covering her skin as he ran his hands over her body. Yet he didn't seem bothered by it. In truth, his eyes latched onto her, mesmerized by the way she glowed and shimmered in his hands.

"Are you sure you aren't frightened of this?" she asked, holding up her hand that still burned with the gentle glow of her fire.

"Never,  _mi amor_ … This is apart of you," Zevran replied, taking her hand in his and lacing his fingers with her own. "I am merely blessed that you would share it with me."

Zevran then kissed her deep and long, one of his hands running up her spine while the other cupped her cheek. Her own hands ran along his back and chest, fingers twirling and flowing across his skin in a seductive dance of caresses. Growling deep in his throat, Zevran twisted his body, taking them both back down to the bedrolls below with him bracing his weight above her. Leaving her lips, Zevran kissed his way to her jaw, then over to the small spot below her ear where her neck met her jaw.

"Mmm," Riel moaned, holding him tighter to her.

"You will never know how much you mean to me…" he purred, cupping her breast in his hand.

Zevran kissed his way lower, nipping gently at her collarbone and shoulder as he moved down her body. The flames from earlier now only a slight shimmer over her skin, yet still he could feel their warmth on his lips as he kissed her flesh. Could still feel the way they licked and spread over his own skin as he touched and caressed her.

Reaching her breast, Zevran let his tongue take a long taste of her nipple. Under him, Riel gasped and arched her back into him, bringing a pleased smile to lips. He loved the way she felt under him, especially when he gave her pleasure. Taking her breast in his mouth, he gently suckled her, running his tongue over nipple in gloriously slow circles. Riel's hands moved to his hair, weaving her fingers in the strands as she cradled his head against her.

Riel's hips writhed and twisted under his as Zevran tormented her with his mouth. Leaving her breast only long enough to take the other in his mouth, Riel moaned out loud as he held on to him. One of Zevran's hands finding her well loved breast while the other lightly skidded down her body to the aching place between her hips. His fingers moved over the soft curls of hair at her juncture, seeking out the warmth of her wet core.

"I love to pleasure you,  _mi amor_ … To hear your moan as you writhe under my touch… You are intoxicating. Your sweet releases are a drug that enthralls me and keeps me needing to give you more."

"Zevran…" Riel moaned deeply, feeling his fingers move gently over her heated core.

Zevran moved up her body, bringing his eyes even to her own. "Will you give me your release? Feed my addiction for you?" he purred as he watched her. Slowly Zevran dipped two of his fingers inside of her. With a groan he reveled in the slick heat he found there. So wet already. So tight as her insides closed around his fingers. And the deep moan that escaped past her lips at his intrusion was enough to send Zevran flying on his own climax.

Riel writhed and turned her hips as she ground herself against him. He always knew exactly how to work her, his hands and fingers drawing out such exquisite pleasure from deep inside her body. Each time leaving her quivering from the intense climaxes that he brought from from within her body. And this time was no different. The curling pleasure unwrapping from deep inside and reaching out as it took over her senses with micro explosions of intensity before a grand release of pleasure overtook her.

Zevran watched as he came for him. The way her body tensed and her back arched; her face flushing as she called out his name in a desperate call of pleasure. He was the only one who did this to her. The only one who was allowed to see this secret carnal side of her. And as much as he knew not to, Zevran still felt himself put a claim on this, marking it as his. This primal pleasure that she experienced, it was  _his_.  _His_  to give to her.  _His_  to revel in as he watched her climax. The look of sublime pleasure on her face was his alone to witness and take pride in, knowing that he had given it to her.

He would never own her. Yet he had claimed her. Gods above damn him for his selfishness, but this was  _his_. Zevran knew then that he would never be able to let another see her as she is now.

"You are glorious," he whispered huskily to her as she began to relax from the release. Zevran lowered his head down to her neck and nuzzled the skin there, inhaling her sweet scent as his fingers continued to gently massage her insides. "I wonder how many I can give to you, before you beg me to stop?" he chuckled in her ear before gently nibbling on the soft flesh of her earlobe.

"Zevran…" Riel mewled pleadingly. Her mind was a slush of emotions, unable to form even the most basic of coherent sentences.

"I told you,  _mi bella_ … I am addicted to you. To your pleasure. To your releases. To the feel of you as you spill yourself for me. My own pleasure is nothing compared to the way your pleasure fills me. You satisfy me with every moan. Every quiver of your body under mine. Every writhing move you make as I wring every last drop of pleasure from you."

Riel tilted her head back as another swell of pleasure built inside of her. One hand fisting the fabric beneath her as the other clawed at Zevran's shoulder. Expertly his fingers worked in her, his thumb moving in tandem against the sensitive nub of flesh just above her slit. Zevran licked at the nape of her neck, running his tongue in slow circles along her flesh tasting both her flesh and the flames that still shimmered over her body.

"That's it… You are so close… I can feel it,  _mi bella_. I can feel it build inside of you. I can taste it on your skin as my tongue rolls over you. Come for me, Riel. My sweet, beautiful Riel."

"Zevran,  _yes!_ " Riel screamed out as pleasure spiked through her. She felt her whole body convulse, bursting apart at his touch on her body and his sweet words in her ear. The flames that lived as part of her flared brightly, coming alive in a surge of power as her body came apart for him.

"Exquisite…" Zevran hummed against her skin, a prideful smile on his lips even as she bucked her hips against him.

A moment later she was coming back to her body, the need he invoked inside of her aching for more. "Please,  _emma lath_ …" she begged him, her voice deep with need. The hand that had been fisting the fabric of the bedroll beneath her, reached across and grabbed hold of the front of Zevran's trousers.

"Tell me. Tell me what you need, my love. Tell me that you need me as I need you."

"Make love to me,  _ma vhenan_. Please….  _ma isala'ne..._  I  _need_  you…"

" _Ma nuvenin, emma lath_ …" Zevran whispered to her, placing a soft kiss to her shoulder. He then pulled away from her only long enough to shed the rest of his clothing. Through hooded eyes Riel watched him as he undressed, loving the way he moved as he removed his trousers and boots.

When he was as naked as she was, Zevran slid his body up next to hers, placing her back against his chest. With gentle kisses along her shoulder and neck, his hand lifted her leg and draped it over his own from behind. His other arm wrapping around her chest, clasping hold of her breast as he held her to him. Immediately, the straining length between his legs sought her out. The hard shaft aching to find its home inside of her warmth depth, it pushed against her rear end.

"Do you accept me,  _ma vhenan_?" he hoarsely begged her. As much as he needed her,  _craved_  her…. every muscle in his and every instinct he held outright  _demanding_  that he take her… Zevran would always wait for her acceptance.

"Always…. I am yours…" she breathed, her hand coming to rest over his hand that clasped her breast.

"As I am yours…" Zevran answered he entered her.  _Good gods above_ …. he thought to himself as she took him inside of her.

The flames that rested lightly over body spread over her and onto Zevran, taking them both completely over as he moved slowly inside of her. And as before, the flames were a sweet burn, not hurting but bringing forth every ounce of love that he held for the woman in his arms. Breathing heavily, he draped kisses along Riel's back and shoulder, her arm reaching back and holding his head to her skin as they moved together.

"Creators… Zevran…" Riel whispered, her eyes squeezed shut as she rolled her hips against his.

Only once before had he entered her with him behind her. Lost in the Deep Roads, plagued by inner voices and a deep exhaustion, he had sought to ease her. To use his body to break the hold the evil had on her, even if only temporarily. It had been intense and mind blowing. Leaving her completely spent and at peace. Yet it was nothing compared to this now.

Perhaps it was because she wasn't clouded by the whispers of evil in her mind. Or that there was nothing behind his actions this time but his love for her. Whatever it was, the deep feeling of pleasure that rolled through them both was like nothing else. In that one moment in time, she was free of the evils that haunted her. He was free of worries that plagued him over her safety, and the promises he made to save her.

Together, right then, joined together in love and flesh…

"You are  _ **mine**_ …" Zevran growled out. Taking the her hand in his, he moved their combined hands down over her flesh to the place where they were now joined. "Gods curse me, but I can't give you up. You feel this,  _mi amor_? Feel the way I take you? Forgive me, but I cannot ever let another have you. I swore I would never lay a claim on you… And yet…"

Riel turned her head so she could look up at Zevran, her eyes finding his even as they moved against each other. "I am yours,  _emma lath_. Completely…" she breathed heavily.

Zevran lost control then. His fingers finding the nub above where they were joined, he rubbed and caressed her as he pounded himself inside of her. The sweet moans coming from her lips forcing him on harder as he sought both of their releases. Neither of which were slow in coming as she met each of his strokes with equal passion. And then they were there, flying over the edge of each of their climaxes. Her calling out his name, him with a deep growl of satisfaction as he filled his seed deep inside of her.

Breathing heavily, the young lovers slowly drifted back down to their bodies. Zevran nuzzled her neck, placing soft kisses against her skin as Riel gently caressed the arm that was wrapped around her.

"Forgive me,  _mi bella_ …" he whispered against her neck.

Riel smiled broadly, loving the way he felt against her. "There is nothing to forgive. You promised me to never take what wasn't offered. And I have already given myself to you. I told you, I am  _yours_. No one else's. You are the only one who will ever have me like this. The only I  _want_  to ever have me like this."

"Does that mean you still wish to be my wife?"

Riel couldn't help but giggle. "Of course it does. I have  _never_  stopped wanting that."

Zevran placed several kisses against her shoulder, smiling to himself. " _Por favor nunca me sale, mi único amor_. Please never leave me, my only love."

Riel rolled herself over, nuzzling deeply against him. "Never, Zevran," she purred, loving the way he wrapped his arms tightly around her. "And you did keep your earlier promise."

"Oh? Which one?"

"To fully ravish me," she laughed softly.

"Oh no,  _mi bella_. This was only the beginning. To fully ravish you as you deserve, many more hours of pleasure are yet to come," Zevran replied, chuckling.

Riel looked up at Zevran, mischief sparkling in her eyes. "Well then, what we are we waiting for?"


	46. Let it Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mi diosa: Antivan. "My goddess."
> 
> Siempre, sólo tú y yo, mi diosa: Antivan. "Always, only you and I, my goddess."

Alistair opened his eyes to the feel of something cold being wiped along his face. Startled, he tried to move away, yet a soft feminine hand on his chest stopped him instantly.

"You shouldn't try to move yet," the soft voice said.

 _Maker save me…._  Alistair groaned to himself as a pounding pain assaulted his senses, snapping his eyes shut before he could get a good look around. Everything hurt, yet the pain behind his eyes had to be the worst. With each breath, his head felt as if his skull was being split in two by a rusty wood axe. While being used as Chantry bell, during service. The ringing in his ears causing his stomach to roll and retch in time with the pounding behind his eyes.

And yet for his misery at the moment, a singular relief could be made out. A small humming sound, coming from the direction the voice had come from. Alistair tried to focus past his pain and onto the sweet sound of the humming, latching onto it for dear life as his body rebelled against its conscious state. A wordless tune, it somehow seemed familiar, yet his battered mind could barely stay awake, let alone try to delve into memories as to where he had heard such a lovely sound before. Whatever it was, the soft sound of gentle hum acted as if it were a healing tonic to his mind and body. Easing the misery behind Alistair's eyes and in his ears.

Alistair didn't know how long he laid there, losing himself to the peacefulness of the wordless song, while soft feminine hands wiped a cool cloth against his face and body. However long it was, it didn't seem nearly long enough when the humming suddenly stopped and barely audible whispers took its place. There was a shift of movement beside him, and a panicked fear lodged in Alistair's chest. Where it came from, he didn't know. Yet for some reason, at that moment he just couldn't bare to be left alone, bereft of the calming sound of the woman's voice.

Reaching out with his eyes remaining closed, Alistair found the soft skin of a woman's hand. "Please… Please don't leave me…" he choked out, fear darkening his words into a quiet desperate plea.

Alistair felt his hand being gently squeezed in response, followed by more whispers that he couldn't make out. There was another shift of movement, yet the hand holding his remained. Even with his eyes closed, Alistair could somehow tell that he and the woman were alone again. He wasn't sure exactly where he was, or truly much of anything at that moment. The only thing he knew was that he didn't want the woman beside him to leave. Her gentle touch and sweet voice were an anchor and soothing balm to the storm of pain and fog that clouded his mind.

"I shall stay as long as you need me to, Alistair," the woman said to him. Her voice was so familiar. Even while speaking, the tone holding the gentle lilt of song and music.

The panic that had clutched at Alistair's chest subsided as the woman settled in next to him. Her head found the small dip in his shoulder where his arm met his chest, while one of her arms stretched across his chest with her palm coming to rest over his heart. The scent of jasmine and wood oil breached his nose, sending a wave of comfort through him as the woman settled against him.

"Please, continue your song. It helps…" he whispered quietly, bringing his arm around the woman and gently holding her to next to him.

Alistair could feel the woman smile against his chest, the knowledge he brought a smile to this sweet creature adding a small swell of pride to his chest. The woman at his side then continued her wordless song, the soft sounds moving past the aches and pains that clawed at him. As if a thief in the night, her voice snuck past the misery that plagued his mind, and dug a deep trench of salvation inside of mind. A barrier of refuge that blocked out the ringing and pounding in his skull that threatened to send him off into a dark pit of despair.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Leliana laid next to Alistair for hours, letting her voice soothe him beyond whatever magics Wynne had used on him. When she and the elder mage had first come across Alistair on the open area after his duel with Zevran, Leliana nearly collapsed in tears. All of his limbs had laid at twisted angles, with both blood and bruises covering his face and body. Immediately Wynne had set to healing him, however the two women had to work first in setting the bones back in place or else Wynne's magic would end up doing more harm than good as the bones healed wrong.

With tears in her eyes, Leliana and Wynne had to work together, one holding the ex-Templar down while the other pulled on the limb to set it straight. Even though he was barely conscious when they came across him, Alistair had screamed and howled as the women worked. At that moment, Leliana wished she could take every scream Alistair made and deliver it personally on the assassin who did this to him.

When she had agreed to the two men fighting their duel, at most Leliana thought there might be some broken ribs. Bruises and black eyes. Never did she think that they would go so far…. Yet when she saw how badly Zevran had looked when he returned…. Leliana knew she had underestimated the men's lethal response to each other. The amount of anger they possessed, worked out on each other as they fought wasn't something Leliana expected nor desired. And with each pained scream Alistair had made as she and Wynne righted his twisted limbs broke Leliana even more.

After he was finally able to be healed properly, Leliana had rushed back to camp to get one of the other men to help bring Alistair back. Even healed by magic, Alistair would be in no condition to walk after what was done. He probably wouldn't even be conscious. After all, magic could only do so much. The pains of the body could be healed to an extent, but more troubling would also be the damage done to Alistair's mind. The mind could only handle so much pain before it started to no longer function properly. It needed time to heal. Time that Leliana spent barely leaving his side.

They were in Alistair's tent now, sharing his bedroll as Leliana rested against him. Wynne had come in, checking on him and wondering if Leliana had needed anything. The old woman was forever kind like that, making sure everyone was well settled and had everything they needed. Yet when Leliana had turned to speak with her quietly, Alistair had reached out her, begging her to not leave him.

Perhaps he was dreaming as he spoke. Perhaps he wouldn't remember this when he woke up. Maker knows that he barely noticed her presence most times. Even when she brought him soups and teas while he trained off by himself at night. The male Grey Warden would sometimes offer a word of thanks as she left him provisions. Other times he would either snap angrily, ranting either about Zevran or Riel's ' _blind acceptance'_  of him. Other times he would ignore Leliana completely. Remaining silent as he trained with his sword and shield, moving through the motions of shadow combat against foe only he could see.

Leliana didn't know what was worse - the rantings or the quiet silence. The best times were when he would smile at her, thanking her for thinking of him. A small dimple becoming visible in his right cheek as he beamed at her. However, those times were rarer. And getting moreso, as time went on. More frequently now, he would remain silent, seemingly oblivious to her and what she had brought him. Yet each night when he returned, he would bring the empty dishes back with him. Sometimes with a simple nod of thanks to her as he ducked into his tent for the evening. And even that small bit of acknowledgement was only given if Leliana managed to somehow catch his eye before he disappeared behind the fabric of the tent he used.

However now…. Now none of that mattered. Now, she was lying next to him, using his shoulder as a pillow as he gently held her in return. As much as she hatred Zevran for what he did, it did give her this moment. Leliana wasn't naive enough to think that it would change anything between the Grey Warden and her. Come morning, he would still pine for the woman who didn't love him. And she would go back to wishing for a man who would barely notice her, let alone love her in return.

While Leliana was jealous of the affections that Alistair gave to their leader, she didn't hate the woman for what she had no control over. Riel had never led Alistair on, promising affections yet never giving them. The female Warden had actually been fairly upfront with her disinterest in her fellow Warden. Riel loved Zevran, and there was no mistaking that. Even in the beginning, it was easy to tell the two elves had feelings for each other. So Leliana couldn't begrudge the woman for Alistair's blind devotion to her. Even if she sometimes wanted to smack Alistair silly for it.

And so even as Leliana's heart swelled and she reveled in the closeness she now shared with Alistair, she knew that it wouldn't last. She would just enjoy it now, drinking up as much of his affections as she could. The song she hummed softly to him a poignant ballad of forbidden lovers, never to unite as fate and time drifted them apart.

A fitting tale, Leliana mused, thinking of the lonely future ahead of her.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

The trill of birdsong roused Alistair from his sleep, fading memories of a dream resting just outside of his grasp as he peeked open his eyes. The painful pounding that had awoken him earlier was curiously absent, causing Alistair to try moving his head, bracing himself in case of its sharp return. Yet even when he managed to pull himself upright, there was no pounding or ringing to be felt in the slightest. In fact, he felt  _pretty good_. Strange considering how badly things had gone the day before.

Alistair didn't remember much of what happened after the fight with the assassin. Vague memories of more pain, hands on him, holding him down as it felt like he was tortured. Then the calming relief of magic healing him. And judging from how well he healed, it had to have been Wynne's doing. No way Morrigan could have healed him so well, even if she had been so inclined. After that, all that Alistair remembered was waking to the feeling of his skull being chopped in half. At least, that's what it felt like at the time.

And through the blinding pain, the only thing he could make out was the music. A gentle humming that he must of have imagined or dreamed of from during his Chantry years. Many times over the years had Alistair sat within the Chantry walls, listening to the sisters sing the Chant of Light. Their beautiful voices reaching up to greet the Maker himself. Yet for some reason, the voice from his dreams seemed different.

Shaking his head, Alistair pushed the thought aside. There were duties that needed to be done, and it did no good to try and remember fevered dreams. As much as he dreaded going out and confronting his companions after what happened with Zevran, he couldn't very hide in his tent the entire time. Alistair consoled himself in knowing that he at least caused the damnable elf some pain in return. Maybe not enough in Alistair's opinion, but there was always hoping for a rematch. One that Alistair will definitely be more prepared for. That damn assassin may have won the last match, but next time Alistair will be more ready for his devious and sneaky tricks.

Alistair reached for his heavy armor, and caught the faint smell of jasmine and wood oil on his skin. "What in the…?" he quietly asked himself. Leaning his head down, Alistair took in a deeper whiff of his shoulder, definitely catching something different than own usual smell. A brief flash of memory came back to him then; the sound of a sweet wordless humming accompanied by a soft warmth next to him. "Weird…" Alistair remarked, shaking his head. Perhaps Wynne applied some healing oils to him? Although Morrigan was more the apothecary than the older mage was, Alistair seriously doubted that the witch would give two coppers about him unless Riel told her to.

 _Riel_ … he thought, remembering the assassins words from yesterday. ' _How much of your interest in the Warden is because of your own selfishness?'_  the smiling elf had said to him. Of course his interest in Riel wasn't selfish! He genuinely cared for her, which is why he was trying to protect Riel from that assassin! Right?  _Right?_

"Maker, guide me…" Alistair prayed briefly to himself, his head heavy in his hands. He then pulled on his armor, his fingers finding the latchings without thought through repeated experience. Alistair's mind instead kept being pulled back to his dreams, of all places. Usually when he awoke each day, Alistair's first thoughts were to Riel. Whether she was well and what her plans were for that day. However, today, his mind seemed intent on trying to grasp at the near forgotten strands of clouded dreams.

Stepping free from his tent, Alistair's eyes first went to the communal fire. It wasn't too early, yet it was still a surprise to see the redheaded Leliana tending to the flames already. Funny, she looked more tired than usual this morning. Her usual bright smile overshadowed by a look of weary lethargia. Yet when she lifted those impeccable green eyes to his, her features instantly brightened into a breathtaking smile.

 _Maker… Did she always smile like that?_  he thought to himself.

"Good morning Alistair. I didn't expect you up so early. I'll have some water boiling soon for tea," she stated warmly, the singing lilt of her voice biting at something from Alistair's memory.

"Thanks Leliana," Alistair replied, a shy smile on his lips. "Are you usually up this early?" Alistair cast a quick glance to the area where Shale usually stood, taking comfort in the stone golem's presence not too far off. He then eased himself down to the ground by the fire, opposite from Leliana.

"Usually," she replied with that soft smile of hers, making her look as if she knew more than she was letting on. "With Riel sleeping in now, I am usually the first one up when I am not already on watch. Sten is usually awake not long after me, followed by you and Wynne. Morrigan keeps her own schedule, so I never know whether she is awake or simply out in the wild. I usually hear Zevran awake long before he comes out, though. Followed by Riel. The last to show himself is our new dwarven friend," she explained with a soft giggle.

"It's funny, I never really noticed you up before me."

"I am sure you have just always had things on your mind," she replied, her smile darkening for a quick moment. "I am going to go fetch some fresh water for tea, and to boil for some morning grains," Leliana quickly stated, almost jumping to her feet and dashing off.

Alistair watched her go, his brow furrowed in thought.  _Why_ hadn't  _I ever noticed before? They had been travelling together for months now. Yet was this really the first time that he noticed it?_

A movement to his side brought Alistair's attention back to the present. Looking over, he spied Riel leaving the tent that she shared with Zevran. Her face was flushed, and the skin of her neck and shoulders held the signs of a lover's attention. She was still wearing the men's tunic she was wearing yesterday as well, the fabric barely covering her shapely rear end. And with her long legs left bare, the sight left little to imagination.

Maker, was she beautiful. Even with the scar marring her cheek, Riel was something out of every man's dream. With long black hair flowing down her back, framing a face even Andraste would envy. And yet for all her beauty, Riel always carried herself as a warrior should. With long, sure strides, her stature demanding confidence and respect from all she met. She may haven been a good foot and half shorter than he was, yet when Riel set her mind on something, she seemed even larger and more imposing than even the giant Sten was.

Riel's eyes quickly scanned the area, moving first to the spots she knew the night's watch men to be. Then her silver gaze went to Morrigan's fire, before finally coming to rest on the fire the rest of the companions shared. At first her eyes showed surprise at seeing Alistair, but the look was quickly covered up with something else that he wasn't used to seeing from her. At least not directed at him. True sympathy and concern.

"Good. I wanted to speak with you," she stated, her voice missing a lot of the coldness it usually held when she spoke to him.

"You wanted to speak with me?" Alistair asked, incredulous. Usually he was the one who had to hunt Riel down if things needed to be discussed. Even when they were in Orzammar and he knew how badly she must have been feeling due to being so close to the underground horde. He was always the one to seek her out, whether it be for information on that day's travel plans, or who she intended to post as watchmen for the night.

Riel against checked around the campsite, her gaze double checking the places where their companions would be. She then sighed heavily, her hands coming together in front of her, fingers tangling together as she seemed to be debating something internally.

"So be it," she said quietly to herself before lifting her head and lancing Alistair with a hard stare. "Alistair, you need to stop," she stated firmly, her voice just as hard as the look she was giving him.

"Stop what?" he asked back, genuinely confused.

Riel rolled her eyes and sighed again. "Look, I know for some Voidforsaken reason you have this…  _thing_ … for me…" she finally said, her voice not has hard as before as her eyes went down to her hands.

Alistair coughed, suddenly just as uncomfortable as Riel looked. "Umm. Riel…-"

"No.  _You_  listen," she interrupted him, her eyes coming back to his. "I get that you think you have  _feelings_  for me. I also get that you don't trust Zevran. But  _ **I**_  do. And it's not just because of how I feel for him, or how he feels for me. I trust him because of every time he has saved us. Every time he has risked his life for not just me, but for everyone else here. In the Deep Roads, he risked everything trying to find something to help me deal with the nightmares. Even risking his life to help Leliana. Without him, she would have died," Riel stated, swiping away the tears that began to build as she remembered what had happened. "Not just then either. He's saved all of us, multiple times. Even you. And no, that doesn't make him special. That's what we all do, every one of us. And  _that's_  the point. He  _is_  one of us. He may have joined us as an assassin, but he became  _one of us_  since then. As much a part of this group as Leliana, Wynne, Shale, or even Oghren. I trust him, Alistair. And that's why I need for you to stop this."

Riel moved over to the fire where Alistair was and sat down beside him. Looking at her now without her armor on or her hair done up for battle, she looked almost tiny next to him. Her small frame barely a third of his when he had his armor on as he did now. Yet for as small as she was, Alistair knew how large she could seem. The fury she kept locked inside of her, ready to unleash on anyone who threatened her. He even had first hand knowledge of her small size paid little heed to how hard she could hit when angry enough.

Yet for all the coldness and fury that she so regularly expressed, when Riel looked up at him now, her eyes were soft. Pleading. Almost compassionate as she held his gaze with her own.

"Alistair, you say you love me. But your love…. It's  _hurting_  me," she stated to him, her voice nearly cracking under the weight of the emotions she felt. "If you love me, you have to let it die. You have to let these feelings die. Or else I  _will_. You  _can't_  love me, Alistair. Not in a way that will help. Not in way that I need. And if you keep trying to…." Riel lowered her head, her eyes going to her hands that fidgeted in her lap. She knew tears fell down her cheeks, yet she made no move to wipe that away or hide them. Perhaps if he saw just how  _much_  she was hurting, it would help her words sink in. "You need to stop, Alistair. Care for me as a companion. As a you would a leader. As a fellow Grey Warden. Maybe even as a friend one day. But you  _have_  to stop loving me as a man would love a woman. You  _need_  to let this go." Riel finally lifted her eyes to meet his again, her tears shining brightly as they fell down her cheeks. "If you love me, let it die."

Alistair sat there, utterly speechless as she looked at him. Her gorgeous silver eyes were now filled with tears, spilling forth and falling down her cheeks to the ground below. In all the months he had known her, this was the first time she had ever shown him real vulnerability. The softer side of herself that she usually kept hidden behind layers of protection that kept even Leliana and Morrigan at a distance. This was the Riel that Alistair had always dreamed of seeing. The one that he had begged and prayed to the Maker to finally be allowed to witness, so he could finally comfort her the way he had always wanted.

Yet, that wasn't what  _she_  wanted of him, was it?

" _Your words show that you have nothing but a selfish obsession with the Warden!_

_One that is based on your own needs!"_

Alistair remembered back to the words that Zevran had spit at him the day before. How much of his actions towards Riel had been because of what  _he_  needed, or worse,  _assumed_  that she needed?  _What is more important? My own needs, or Riel's?_ What was it that  _she_  needed, then?

"Maker's breath…." Alistair sighed. "I have been a complete arse, haven't I?"

Riel burst out laughing, fully not expecting him to say that. "Yes. Yes you have," she admitted, still laughing.

Alistair had to admit that he liked seeing Riel laugh. The way her eyes sparkled and the lightness of her voice as she for once let a bit of her guard down. And Maker help him, she was even more beautiful when she did so. Yet he couldn't let that get in the way. Not anymore.

"I can't promise you that I will stop caring for you. Even beyond my own… Well damn,  _obsession_  with you… You've come to mean a lot to everyone in this group. However, I can at least try to bite my tongue more. As for  _him_ ," Alistair nodded his head toward the tent that Riel shared with Zevran.

"The last thing he would ever do is turn me over to Loghain or anyone else," she quickly interrupted. "You? Maybe. But that's more your own doing than his," Riel added with a soft laugh.

"Fine. I guess I deserve that," Alistair lightly grumbled.

Pausing for a moment, he looked at Riel and for the first time really tried to see her as she was. Not as the woman he first met in Ostagar. Not the new recruit who he promised Duncan to watch over. To really see her as she was now, in that moment. Leliana was right, he realized. Riel was actually  _happy_  now. More than that, she was actually  _healing_. From her past. From she endured. The assassin -  _Zevran_  - had taken a woman who held nothing but broken edges, and helped put the pieces back together.

And as much as Alistair wanted to hate him for it - and probably still would for a while yet to come - it was hard to ignore the evidence of it as she sat next to him right now, smiling and even laughing with him. He didn't do that. He didn't heal her, even though he had wanted to. And as much as it pained Alistair to admit to, perhaps he was never meant to. His role in this unbelievable woman's life wasn't what he had wanted. But perhaps, if he was careful, Alistair could find a role in her life that  _she_  needed him to be.

"Fighting companions then? Or dare I risk it and offer my friendship?" Alistair chuckled, sticking out his hand on reflex. "Oh Maker! Sorry!" he cursed, suddenly remembering her sensitivity. With a sheepish look, his face blushed as he pulled back his hand.

However Riel stopped him, placing her hand in his on her own. "Fighting companions. We'll work on the whole ' _friends'_  thing…" she laughed as she shook his hand in her own.

"Good. That's… good," he replied with a shy smile. In that brief moment, it seemed as if a small connection was made between them. The twinkling beginning that could be eventually be actual friendship if allowed to flourish and cared for. For once Riel didn't look upon him with disdain or contempt, but she actually genuinely smiled at him. Almost as if she were happy sitting there with him.

"Oh, you're awake Riel!"

Riel abruptly pulled away from Alistair, her face flushing. "I-I didn't see you there, Lei," she stuttered, pushing the hair away from her face as she regarded her friend.

"I went to fetch some water for breakfast, and I decided to take a quick bath while there. I hope I am not interrupting anything," Leliana asked, her knowing glances shifting back and forth between Riel and Alistair.

"Nope. Not at all," Riel rushed out. Pushing herself up to standing, she smiled first at Alistair and then to Leliana. "I was just clearing up some… battle strategies…. with Alistair here. But I think I'm going to go see if Zevran is awake yet. I slipped away without waking him, and I don't want him to worry." Riel then ducked back inside of her own tent, leaving Alistair and Leliana alone.

In truth, Leliana had been waiting just out of sight, listening in to the conversation between the two Wardens. Eavesdropping was perhaps not the best quality to have, but when she saw the two of them sitting together, Leliana couldn't stop herself. Rarely did Riel ever speak with Alistair, and even rarer still without others nearby. And so soon after what happened between him and Zevran…

And the conversation shared between the two of them had been everything Leliana had been waiting for. Been begging the Maker for. A  _real_  conversation between the two them, where Riel finally told Alistair how she felt. Perhaps it wouldn't change anything. Perhaps Alistair would still pine for her as he always had done. At least now though, the words have been said. Now, there was hope. Not just for Riel, either. But maybe, for herself as well.

"You seem to be in a good mood, Alistair. Should I be worried?" Leliana teased as she poured some of the water she had gathered in a pot to boil.

Alistair chuckled. "Actually I think for the first time, we're doing pretty good."

"Good. Because after yesterday, I am not so keen on letting you and Zevran have any more duels…"

"You saw me after that, did you?" Alistair blushed, suddenly feeling awkward knowing that Leliana had witnessed him so beat up and broken.

"Mmhmm," Leliana answered, keeping her eyes away from his. "It was Wynne and I who found you. She and I spent a long time mending you."

"I figured Wynne, but I didn't know you did as well."

"Of course I did, Alistair. You needed help!" Leliana exclaimed, meeting his gaze briefly before going back to the bundle she had pulled out after setting the water. "You are important to me- I mean us. The group. Everyone here," Leliana stammered, her face flushing.

"Right…" he said cautiously, more than a little confused by her sudden unease.

"Well…" she cleared her throat, forcing her mind on the sticks and arrow heads in her lap. "We left Orzammar in such a hurry, I didn't much time to restock after the Deep Roads. It is a good thing that we are going to Redcliff before seeking out the Dalish. I am in need of some fresh wood oil for my arrows."

"That's right. You use it to coat the shafts with, don't you?"

"Mmhmm," she answered, still refusing to meet his eyes. "It makes the draw smoother. Although the jasmine I add just because I think it smells pretty. And it reminds me of my time Orlais. There, even a lady's arrows were scented to match her outfits. Or if it was her lover who used the bow, a lady would scent his arrows with her perfume. It was a subtle way of marking both the arrows and the archer as her own."

 _Jasmine and wood oil…._ Alistair finally understood the strange scent he had caught when he awoke earlier.

"You know, I must have seen you and Riel tend to your arrows at least a dozen times, yet I still have no idea what the two of you do with them."

Leliana lifted her brilliant green eyes to his, a radiant smile on her lips. "You wish to see what I do? It really isn't that complicated. Just sorting out the shafts that are either too damaged or too dry to use further. And mending the ones that can be easily fixed."

Alistair stood up and walked over to where Leliana was sitting. "Would you mind showing me? I've always admired the way you use the bow. I don't think I have ever seen someone as accurate or as deadly as you are. Even among the Wardens, there were few archers. Most of us were sword men."

"Sit, Alistair," Leliana stated, patting the ground next to her. "Let me show you what I do. And perhaps you can share with me stories of your time in the Wardens. I am a bard, afterall. And we so do love our stories."

Alistair sat down next to her, keeping a small but respectful distance between them. "I… I think that I would like that," he said with a shy smile.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"So, how badly must I hurt him again?"

Riel bit back a laugh as she entered the tent she shared with Zevran. He was awake and laying on his side, his head resting on his hand. Still completely naked, yet the warm blanket they used covered him from the waist down.

"He's fine, Zevran. No need to hurt him," Riel answered as she stretched herself out next to him. With open arms, Zevran welcomed her warm body next to his, pulling her tightly up against him.

"Hmm…. You say that, yet your eyes are clearly wet. You have been crying. Which means more of a lesson must be needed for that foolish Templar."

"Everything's fine, Zevran!" she exclaimed, nuzzling in against his chest. "I told him that he has to stop being an ass. And he agreed."

"We shall see,  _mi bella_. It is one thing to say something. It is quite another to go about doing it."

"Just hold me, okay? Pretend that right now, it's just us? For just a little while?"

Zevran lowered his head and placed a few light kisses against Riel's neck, inhaling her delicious scent. In truth, he had awoken as soon as she had left his grasp, yet he allowed her her freedom. Within the camp, Riel was relatively safe. And Zevran was more than prepared to go out as naked as the Maker made him in order to protect her if need be. As much as he wanted to, to shadow her every move would go against the very freedom he wished to give her. And so he had waited, anxious and alert with his hands next to his blades while he listened in to the conversation she shared with the idiot Templar.

Zevran was in fact quite proud of her. Standing up to Alistair the way she did was something that he knew couldn't have been easy for her. And Riel had handled it beautifully, stunning him once more at ability to do and say what must be done no matter her own personal feelings. She really was amazing to him.

"How could I refuse such a request from  _mi diosa_?" Zevran chuckled lightly. "As long as you wish it, I am here for you.  _Siempre, sólo tú y yo, mi diosa_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration for this chapter came from the song "Let it Die" by Starset.
> 
> https://youtu.be/Fk9WrVMCpOE


	47. A Mage's Power

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mi amiga: Antivan. "My friend."

That evening Riel sitting by the fire, helping Leliana dry the meat that she and Alistair had hunted earlier that day. Ever since that morning, the two of them had been near inseparable, talking and laughing with each other in ways that on the surface seemed no different than any other time. Yet Riel knew the redheaded bard too well, and more than once she caught a strange look shared between the two of them. A shy smile, or a quick blush that was quickly hidden. It was strange watching it happen, a piece of herself becoming uneasy as she witnessed the casual flirting and quick looks.

To Riel, Leliana was as close to a sister that she had ever experienced. And Alistair - well, it was no secret how little Riel cared for the man. True, they may have come to some sort of peaceful truce that morning, yet the other Warden was nothing if not a bumbling fool when it came to women. And while Riel found his affections annoying, watching him flirt with Leliana brought forth a strange protective streak inside of her. She would definitely watch him. And if the fool decided to hurt her friend…. Well, perhaps Riel would finally be able to see if men fought as well after they were gelded.

From across the fire, Riel spotted the familiar form of their resident witch approach her. In her hand she held a long stick of wood that wasn't her staff, and more resembled mangled and old walking stick left to weather over the years. Riel felt the subtle tightening of Zevran's arms around her midsection, responding to her own slight shift in anxiety. Even with him at her back though, the determined and hard look Morrigan gave to Riel caused a shiver to run down her spine.

"You will come with me now, my friend. There are  _things_  we must discuss." Morrigan than cast a leveled glance at Zevran before adding, "in private, away from the camp."

"Morrigan, I think perhaps-"

"It's fine, Zevran," Riel interrupted, offering the man as best of comforting smile as she could.

"I do not like the idea of you outside of the camp without your armor,  _mi bella._  Especially not so soon after…"

"The woman shall be fine, assassin. Not only will we not be far, I am not without my own means to defend us. You shall have your Warden back to you before true night falls."

Zevran disliked the irritated look on the mage's face, yet he saw no real reason to argue against her. At least a reason that wouldn't go against the promises of freedom that he gave to his Riel. To have her out in the wilderness, not just without him, but without armor…. The thought chilled him down to his bones. Yet perhaps if they didn't know he was there….

"Of course, my lovely Morrigan," Zevran replied with a broad smile on his face. "I only ask that Riel take her daggers with her, if I make such a request."

Riel saw the apprehensive look on his face and understood his worries that he hid. Honestly the thought of being away from the protective circle of the camp caused a streak of fear to scratch inside of her stomach, yet Morrigan was right. They weren't defenseless. Between her daggers and the witch's magic, there shouldn't be much danger to them.

"You do not need to worry, Zevran. I'm sure all it is just womanly things that Morrigan wishes to discuss," Leliana stated with a giggle.

"Maker…. Trust me, Zevran, that is  _not_  something men should ever be listening too…" groaned Alistair from beside Leliana. It was the first words the ex-Templar had spoken to Zevran all day, and even though much of the bite was gone from his tone, there was still a harshness to way he spoke.

Riel placed her hand on Zevran's cheek and gave him a quick kiss. "I'll be fine, Zevran. We won't go far."

Zevran held onto Riel a bit tighter, looking into her brilliant silver eyes. "Be careful,  _mi bella_. And if you spot anything -  _anything_  - you return here. After all, I cannot let you have all the fun of slicing apart our enemies," he added with a wink. Even though his words were light, there was no mistaking the concern in his eyes as Zevran watched Riel stand and follow Morrigan from the camp.

Once the two women were out of sight, Leliana bit back a small laugh as she saw Zevran casually stand. "There are some trees, but I would stick mostly close to the ground. The night is not yet dark enough to provide true cover. And do not think for one moment that Morrigan will not notice you," Leliana stated with a coy smile, her eyes not meeting his as she spoke.

"Excellent advice,  _mi amiga_. However, I also seek to attend to nature's call, of course," Zevran teased back, giving a wink and a short bow. He then briskly walked away in the opposite direction Riel and Morrigan had disappeared.

Alistair's brow furrowed as he watched the man leave. "I don't understand…"

"Oh Alistair…." Leliana sighed with a shake of her head, smiling to herself.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"Here should be well enough," Morrigan stated, turning to face Riel. "Now, take this, and hold it in your main hand."

Riel raised her brow as she took the piece of wood Morrigan offered to her. "Umm… What is this for?"

"You, my friend are a mage. And 'tis time you learned how to fight as one," Morrigan clipped harshly.

Riel's eyes went wide as she looked up at the witch beside her. Her mouth gaped open, small sputtering noises coming out before she finally managed to find her tongue. "Morrigan…. I'm not… I mean, I am, but…-"

"Hush, woman," the witch snapped. "You survived something horrible, and I do not just mean what happened the other day. And while I have minded my tongue in times past about your insistence on using blades instead of the power you were born with, I can do so no longer. Not while doing so endangers not just your physical body but your spirit as well. I may abhor the Circle and teachings of the Chantry, I am not blind to dangers that demons and spirits pose to those such as you and I. Without proper training, you shall continue to be a victim of things more powerful than you are."

"Morrigan, I  _can't_  use magic," insisted Riel, a cold shine of sweat appearing on her hands and face as she spoke.

"You  _can_  and you  _must_ ," Morrigan again snapped, her tone hard. Riel began to tremble as she held the long piece of wood in her hands. Fears of cages and being locked away again whispered in her mind, bringing with it a deep darkness that crept along Riel's spine. Morrigan watched the other woman as a string of curses went through her own mind. Sighing, she placed her hand lightly on Riel's shoulder. "Listen carefully to me, my friend. I do not do this out of cruelty. You  _need_  this. And you shan't be alone, for I will aid you as best I can. I will admit to perhaps not being the best teacher for one such as yourself, however I cringe at the thought of that old crone stifling what power you possess under the guise of her 'Chantry doctrine."

"I've never used it on purpose before though… It's always been an accident or in response to something…"

"As it is with all mages at first, I imagine," shrugged Morrigan. "No mage is ever born knowing how to control their powers. It takes much training and practice. However, even I will admit that an untrained mage is a danger not only to themselves but to those around them. I may not agree with the Circle's ways, but I am not blind to the power that we wield."

"Won't using magic just draw Templars to me, though?"

"Riel, not only do you travel with two mages - one an apostate may I add - but you are also a  _Grey Warden_. That alone puts you beyond their reach. Long have the Wardens kept their own mages, and the Chantry nor the powers of the Circle are unable to exert power over them. The true dangers to you are not fools clad in armor or those in Chantry robes who hold their leashes. The fact you have lived so long without gaining the attention of the spirits have been miracle enough."

"Honestly, until I met the Dalish, I didn't know anything of demons or the dangers of being a mage."

"Your clan's Keeper should have began your teaching, not I. Why she did not is indeed a mystery."

Riel shrugged her shoulders, her hands coming together in front of her as she thought back to her time with her clan. "They didn't know. I-I never told anyone. I was too scared too."

"I may not know your Keeper, but I can promise you that she knew of your powers and status as a mage. The question is not whether she knew, only  _why_  she did nothing of it."

"What do you mean?" Riel asked, her eyes coming up to meet with Morrigan's.

Morrigan sighed and rolled her eyes. "All mages can sense another mage if we are close enough to them. 'Twas how I knew you were a mage long before what happened at Lake Calenhad."

"Wait… You  _knew_?" Riel balked.

"Oh do not look so surprised," the witch huffed indignantly, waving her off. "You showed little interest in working magic, and I cared not at the time for your reasons to. Only after coming to know you as I have, had I began to think of this solution. Not that it is much of one, yet 'tis better than the alternative."

Riel bit her bottom lip, worry etching her face as she looked at the stick in her hands. "This doesn't look like a mage's staff."

"Contrary to common belief, magic does not require a staff to be cast. Having one simply adds to the power of the casted spell. The staff is only a focus, enchanted with runes and then given a crystal to help direct the Fade energies that a mage calls forth. This here 'tis merely lacking a crystal, yet is should not suffer ov'r much for it."

"What should I do?" Riel asked, her voice full of apprehension.

"Casting magic is not so different as any other motion. 'Tis a part of you, as your arm or foot is. You think to cause a fist, and you do. You think to raise your arm, and it happens. Casting a spell only requires more concentration, and practice at using. It is a muscle that can grow in strength from use, or go weak from disuse." Morrigan took Riel's free hand and placed it on the wood. "Close your eyes. Then bring to mind the fire back at camp. The way the flames work as they dance in the air. The warmth they cause. The light it gives off."

Riel obeyed, shutting her eyes and thinking of the fire they sat around. Doubt and fear niggled at her consciousness, yet she persisted, forcing away all other thoughts. At first, nothing changed, and she felt no different. Yet slowly a small tingling began to take shape inside of her mind. A spark of power, small yet continued to grow the longer she focused.

"Good. You feel it, yes? Now open your eyes."

Riel peeked open her eyes and gasped as the wood she clasped in her hands was now glowing. Her hands alight with a shine of soft flames that flickered gently under the dimming light of the sun.

"Now you must direct the power. As you would wield a blade, extending your arm and turning your wrist to inflict a blow in a desired area, so too can you guide the power that you have called forth. Imagine the wood you hold to be a dagger, yet let the strike you intend to be further beyond what you could normally reach." Morrigan pointed her hand towards a small group of rocks a few feet away. "There. That is your enemy's stomach. Their heart. The flesh you wish to render with your blade. Now strike at it."

Riel lifted her eyes to where Morrigan indicated, feeling a slick of doubt edge at her. The small grouping of rocks was easily ten feet away, far beyond the distance she would normally strike at. Yet she supposed that was the point, wasn't it? Still, the biting fear of her memories cut at her. The tight bindings she had wrapped around her inner magic wasn't easy to forget or let go of.

"Come now! If they be a charging bandit or Darkspawn, you dare not hesitate such!" Morrigan cursed out impatiently.

"If it was, I would be using my daggers, not magic!" spat Riel in response.

"Blades can be left behind! Forgotten or damaged! The magic you hold is far sharper than even the most well made dagger! Now use it!"

Riel tried to focus her mind as Morrigan commanded, yet anxiety still clawed at her. Whispers from her past, threatening to keep her locked away forever. Nightmares of Templars coming upon her as she slept, smiting away her magic until she was unable to fight back. Using her magic was beacon to everything that had haunted her. And now here she was, trying to harness a power that signified everything she feared most.

"Morrigan, I… I  _can't_ …" she cried, fear gripping her throat and strangling her voice.

"By the Void!" cursed Morrigan. The witch then lifted her own staff high into the air and a bright light erupted from her. Riel shielded her eyes with her hands, dropping the wooden staff to the ground.

When the light cleared, Riel screamed as where the witch used to stand was now a giant spider. "By the Creators!" Riel cursed out in surprise.

It's hairy legs danced back and forth, feining an attack before retreating back again. Mandibles clicked in a hungry anticipation as the spider's eight dark beaded eyes glared with malicious intent upon Riel. Scrambling back, Riel grabbed for her daggers, readying herself against the creature. However, the spider spit out a long creamy spray of webbing, the thickness attaching itself to the daggers in her hands. Rearing back suddenly, the spider tore the blades from Riel's grasp and sent them flying away.

"Shit!" Riel cursed out, barely rolling away in time before a clawed limb cut across her midsection.

"Riel!"

Riel looked over in horror as Zevran joined the battle, his own daggers at the ready. The giant spider backed up, it's focus now split between the two elves. Zevran ran forward and placed himself between the creature and Riel, making sure to keep her behind him as he faced off against the menacing spider.

The spider actually seemed to hesitate as if it were thinking. Then another bright light erupted forth, blinding both Riel and Zevran momentarily. When they were able to see again, the spider was gone, and its place was now a huge swarm of buzzing insects. The insects attacked both of them, stinging and biting at both Riel and Zevran. Cursing wildly, Zevran batted at the insects, yet still they swarmed the two of them.

"It is no use! I cannot fight them! Retreat back to the camp!" Zevran yelled above the din of the buzzing.

Riel tried to scrambled away, yet the cloud of insects surrounded her. Tangling in her hair and crawling along her skin, she couldn't even see past the thick coat of them. Blinded, Riel tripped over something at her feet and fell down to the ground. The buzzing continued, the swarm not just acting as a blinder but also blocking out all sounds other than the cacophonous buzzing that echoed in her ears. Fear welled up inside of Riel as she tried to swat the insects away, yet still they flew around her, biting lightly into her skin. Riel tried to get to her feet, her hands going to the ground to try and push herself up. Instead of grass however, her hands came across a long piece of wood.

 _The staff!_  she thought to herself. Fear turned instantly to anger as frustration welled inside of her. She may not be able to strike out normally at such tiny things, but she can  _burn_  them! Her mind focusing on the anger, Riel took hold of the staff and thought back to the flames of the camp fire.

Immediately a small fire erupted from her hands and travelled into the staff. Yet this fire was different from the one Riel had used before. This fire was not comforting, and carried with it a different feeling than before. These flames were not the ones that protected her and that which she called upon to defeat the spider queen. This was mage fire. Powerful, heated, and raw, this was the elemental fire that all mages had access to.

"Enough!" Riel screamed as she gripped the staff tightly. Raising it upon her head, Riel focused the mage fire through her hands and into the staff, before releasing it into the air around her. The fire spell spread out, driving away the swarming insects from her. The swarm dissipated, then came together again several feet away.

"Riel, are you alright?" Zevran called out, however before Riel could answer him the swarm flashed brightly. A heartbeat later the swarm was gone, and again a giant spider loomed before them.

"You're starting to piss me off!" Riel screamed out at the creature. Calling forth the magics within her, Riel pointed her staff at the spider, unleashing another blast of fire. The spider easily dodged the blast, skittering away on it's long legs. Riel was unused to aiming her attacks from a distance, as such each time she threw out a blast of fire they missed their target as it moved back and forth.

Other than moving out of the way of the blasts, the creature made no moves to attack or approach either of them. Even when Zevran leaped forward with his daggers, the spider dodged the strikes and backed away, merely defending itself instead of returning the assault.

"Why isn't it attacking?" Zevran asked as returned to stand beside Riel.

Riel twirled the staff in her hands, sending forth another small fire ball. "Because she's making a point, not trying to kill us." Riel huffed angrily. She then steadied the staff upon the ground, leaning on it as she caught her breath. "Isn't that right,  _Morrigan_?"

"What?  _Morrigan_?" Zevran questioned in disbelief.

The area around the spider erupted in another flash of light, and a moment later stood the dark witch where the creature once was. "You learn quickly. 'Tis good," the witch chuckled to lightly. "However, your power is lacking, as well as your aim. Aim not where your where opponent is, but where they  _will be_ , and your spells will find their target instead of empty space. A tactic that I suspect is little different than when you strike with your blades, however now you must account for a greater distance and a larger range of possible movements."

"You know, those stings  _hurt,_ " Riel groused, walking over to Morrigan.

"Those little bites? Come now, I barely grazed you. Of far more concern to me is how you nearly burned away my hair! I may not be vain, yet I even I do not care for the smell of burned hair."

Zevran looked back and forth between the two women, his brow knitted in confusion. He wasn't sure exactly what was happening, yet he was sure it was not something he should be all that happy about. "Excuse me, my lovely ladies… But may I ask what exactly just what happened here? One moment we are being attacked by a spider, the next by a swarm of insects, and then once more a giant spider! And now here Morrigan stands where the creature stood."

Riel shook her head, laughing softly. "I guess you can say this was Morrigan's attempt at teaching me something."

"I cannot say I care for this form of  _teaching_ …" Zevran replied with a frown, sheathing his daggers. He then walked over to Riel and placed a hand lightly on her arm. "Are you sure you are alright,  _mi bella_?"

"I'm fine, Zevran," Riel said with an awkward smile.

"Worry not, your woman is well," Morrigan replied, her tone sharp.

"I didn't know you could shapeshift," stated Riel. "Can all mages do that?"

Morrigan waved her hand dismissively. "'Tis old magic that Flemeth once taught me. Despite what the Chantry would like it's mages to believe, there are many old and and varied magics to be learned and mastered for one so willing to seek them out."

"Why haven't you done so before?"

"Why do you not use a long sword when you fight as Alistair does? Or a bow as Leliana?" Morrigan questioned back. "In truth, I am at my best in this form most times. As a creature, I am limited to the creature's own abilities. The night eyes of a wolf or the wings of a bird do have their uses, however when facing Darkspawn or bandits, my magic is my most useful weapon. If I have need of other forms, I shall use them when appropriate."

"Fair enough," Riel said with a chuckle, shaking her head. "Still though, do you have any other useful abilities that I should know about?"

Morrigan smiled wickedly at the other woman. "My friend, there are many secrets that I am privy to. And as I feel they may be useful to you and I feel so inclined, I shall perhaps share them."

Riel sighed heavily. "I guess I should have expected that," she replied with a laugh.

"Again, pardon me… However, I still do not quite understand-"

"Whether she likes to admit it or not, Riel is a mage," Morrigan stated, interrupting Zevran. "As such, she must learn to fight as one, or not only does she limit herself, but she places herself and those around her in undue danger."

Still Zevran did not look pleased, his frown deepening despite Morrigan's explanation.

"It's fine, Zevran," Riel smiled at him. "She's right. I just needed some…  _motivation_  I guess… The magic that I have still frightens me, even though it's a part of me."

"Motivation, perhaps I can understand. However, facing off against a giant spider and a swarm of insects is not what I would call that."

While Zevran could respect the witch's attempt to try and teach his Riel how to use her magic, he was far from pleased with her methods. When first spied the woman he loved being attacked by a giant spider so soon after the Deep Roads, Zevran nearly felt his heart stop right in his chest. And then to have her daggers taken from her so easily…. To say he was upset over the encounter would be putting it mildly. His innate protective instincts that his Riel called out to still screamed inside of his chest, demanding the witch's head on a pike for what she did.

Riel turned towards Zevran and pulled his face down to hers. His honeyed eyes burned with a mixture of anger and fear, and it took a moment for him to release the glare he held on the witch beside them and focus instead on Riel. Yet when his eyes met hers, the love that she held for him erased the remaining bits of tension in his features.

"I'm fine, Zevran. I promise," Riel whispered to him.

Morrigan shifted her feet as a silent moment passed between them. "Well, as I am sure that there is some duty or tiresome chore that Leliana has in mind for me, I shall take my leave. I care not to witness your sickening display of affections. Hearing them nightly is far more than intolerable as it is," she grumbled before stalking off towards where the camp was.

Riel laughed as she watched Morrigan leave. "She really is a good friend. Different. But good."

However, Zevran wasn't nearly as amused as Riel appeared to be. " _Mi bella_ …. I…" There was so much he wanted to say, yet the words eluded him. Seeing a giant spider attacking his Riel so soon after their multiple close calls deep underground brought back far too many memories and emotions for him to express.

"Let me grab my daggers, then we'll go back to camp. Okay?"

Zevran just nodded his head, yet still his arms lingered on her as he held tightly to her. He knew that he should let go of her, however images of her fighting weaponless against such a dangerous enemy filled his mind. True, the creature turned out to be only the witch Morrigan, that still did not lessen the anxiety he felt. Too many times in recent days had he come dangerously close to losing her. And even more heartstopping was the very real possibility of future times where her life would be placed in jeopardy because of the mission she had undertaken.

"Riel…"

"At camp. Okay?"

Zevran gave her one last squeeze before reluctantly letting her go. However, he stayed close beside her as Riel went in search of her daggers. When she finally found both of them, she took hold of Zevran's hand and led him back towards the campsite that they shared with the others of their group.

Beside the campfire Alistair sat next to Leliana, his body leaning in close to hers as he listened to her recant one of her stories from her days as a bard. Leliana even seemed to be enjoying the attention he was giving her, a wide smile on her lips as she talked in her elegant lilting voice.

Off at her own fire was Morrigan, that great tome of a grimoire settled in her lap as she went through its pages. Wynne was several feet away, speaking with Bodahn, while Oghren was drinking and laughing with the golem Shale while Sten watched on, grumbling in his own language. Everything seemed completely peaceful and normal, which is probably why the feeling of wrongness hit Riel so deeply.

A slick feeling of death and decay crawled over Riel's skin, sharpening her senses and bringing her eyes up to seach the shadows that surround their camp. Immediately Zevran noticed the change in his Riel; the way her back stiffened and her soft smile disappeared into a mask of both fear and anger. His own eyes went to the areas beyond the light of the campfire, yet even his sensitive hearing and eyesight couldn't detect anything.

"What is it,  _mi bella_?" he asked her, his voice low in her ears.

"Alistair…." she hissed out, her eyes quickly moving to his.

"Weapons ou!" Alistair shouted out as he leapt to his feet, his hands drawing his sword and shield.

"Alistair? What-?" Leliana asked curiously. Yet before she could finish her question, Alistair raised his shield just in time to block an arrow that came whooshing through the air that was aimed directly for Leliana's heart.

"Darkspawn!" Riel cursed in a foul yell as she readied her daggers.

The chaos of the next few moments burned itself into Riel's memory despite how quickly everything seemed to move. Within a heartbeat, the enemy was upon them. Several hurlocks engaging both Oghren and Shale while Sten swung his sword wildly at the genlock rogue that danced around him.

Leliana found herself on top of Bodahn's wagon, firing off arrows in rapid succession while Wynne blasted back a hurlock just before it's sword swing nearly decapitated the elder dwarven merchant. Alistair was on the ground beside the wagon, swinging his sword and kicking back anything that dared to get too close. Morrigan however was on her own by her fire, bringing down fire and cold on a pair of genlocks and a shriek. A hulking mass of a hurlock was stalking towards her, shrugging off her spells as it readied it's powerful axe to swing.

And beside her was Zevran, his blades out and slashing at another dual wielding genlock, their parries and strikes matching each other's in a twisted harmony of clashes. His speed and agility matching the stout abomination's own, neither seemed to have the upper hand as they moved back and forth beside the campfire.

Everything was happening too quickly… A deep panic threatened to swell and take Riel over as she watched the scene around her.  _No! I will not them take us!_  she cursed out to herself.

"Fen'harel!" Riel called out. The hound was growling and snapping his jaw at the legs of one of the hurlocks fighting against Shale, yet at his master's call lifted his head and ran to her side. "Go protect Morrigan!" The mabari hound barked in a quick response before dashing off toward the witch, arriving just in time to snap his jaws right through the leg of the leg of the advancing hurlock.

"Riel! Get out of here!" Zevran yelled, his attention diverted to her for a moment. Unfortunately that was enough for the genlock he was fighting to take advantage and land a slice through Zevran's main arm.

"Zevran!" Riel screamed out in horror, watching as Zevran twisted his body just in time to avoid a more fatal blow.

A shriek stepped out of the darkness beside Riel and swung its bladed arm at Riel's chest, barely missing her skin as the tunic she wore split apart. Right now, she needed to focus, the lives of her friends and loved ones resting on the balance. Riel glared at the disfigured face of the shriek in front of her, the demented creature's features almost lifting into a twisted smile.

"You shall not have us!" Riel spat out, launching into an attack against the blightborn evil.

With both of her blades out, Riel knocked back the shriek's strike before turning her body and ducking under the thing's arms. One slice to the thigh, the other along where the ribs would be on a normal creature, then a stab straight into the back and out through the front. Twisting the blade in her hand, Riel gouged out a large hole in the thing's chest before bringing her other blade up and around, slicing the shriek throat from ear to ear.

As it fell down to the ground at her feet, Riel again sought out her allies and the enemies that they fought. Alistair was still near the wagon, protecting Wynne and the dwarves while Leliana fired off her remaining arrows. Sten was now engaging enemies at Morrigan's back, while Fen'harel snarled and bit at enemies wishing to flank at the witch's side. Shale and and Oghren were tag teaming cutting down a magic wielding hurlock and its two genlock defenders.

Zevran was still close by her, keeping himself between the enemies and Riel as he swung out with his blades. Sweat and blood glistened on his body as he struck out, slicing through decaying flesh and bone of the hammer wielding hurlock to his side before leaping up and stabbing his blade through the hurlock's eye. Yet still another shriek came out of the darkness, aiming its bladed claws at his back.

Riel took a step forward, grabbing the shriek by it's armored back and pulling it away from Zevran just before it made contact with Zevran's back. The shriek twisted around in Riel's grasp, screeching out in anger before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. The corrupted creatures were masters at stealth, able to hide even in the slimmest of shadows, and so Riel kept her daggers at the ready as she searched out with her senses.

Just then a low rumbling reverberated through the ground, the feeling sending tremors of fear straight through Riel. The thick dense of trees and brush in the distance wavered slightly a moment before an enormous purple skinned ogre came barreling forth. It's horns the color of night, with eyes as red as blood, and a wide gaping maw filled with dagger like teeth, the Darkspawn ogres were a rarity on the battlefield. Yet even one was a force to be reckoned with.

Bellowing forth a powerful roar, the ogre ran forward, its head down so it's neck and skull acted more as battering ram against anything unfortunate enough to be in its path. The sharpened horns on its head added an even deadlier aspect to the savage attack, as they could tear through whole trees and could render even a man wearing heavy armor dead within moments.

And standing directly in the rampaging ogre's path was Riel, without even the lightest of armor and only her own reflexes to save her.

Riel felt the power she had felt earlier swell inside of her. A swirling chaos of emotion that matched the scene of battle around her, Riel mind switched beyond survival and into something far darker. Far deadlier. The air around her crinkled and sparked with energy as if the very elements themselves were being drawn to her. A dark billowing cloud came together above Riel's head as the magic gathered, light crackling in its darkness as lightning before a storm.

With a feral scream Riel unleashed the built up energy. Shocks of electricity leeched out in all directions, finding the flesh of her enemies even as they fought with her allies. With pained spasms the lesser Darkspawn fell to the ground, yet the ogre still continued on its charge undeterred. Another clap of energy hit the ogre, bringing it to a sliding halt. Hands as large as boulders grabbed at its head as the creature screamed out in pain. Yet still the thing refused to fall.

"Why won't you just die already?!" Riel sneered in frustration, hefting her daggers in her hands. With anger fueling her mana reserves, she felt her power travel down her hands and into the twin daggers she clasped. "Alistair! On it's knees!" she screamed out a moment before launching herself into a charge at the monster. Alistair nodded his head and swung out his sword, cutting deep into the ogre's left knee, dropping it down.

Just as a roar of bloodlust ripped from her throat, Riel's charged blades found the creature's temples, delving into what gushy mass could be considered its brain. The resulting shock of electricity lit up the ogre's face, the light shining forth from its eyes and mouth in a solid brightness before dying away, taking the life of the ogre with it.

Now nothing more than dead weight, the ogre lurched forward, falling down to the ground in front of it. And taking Riel down with it, pinning her under its hulking mass.

A collection of screams rang forth from her companions as they called out to her, yet Riel couldn't hear it as a deep darkness overran her consciousness. Even before her head hit the ground below, she was lost to the blackness that quickly overtook her.


	48. Best Laid Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.  
> Further Note at the bottom of the chapter. Placed there to avoid spoilers.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!  
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Ar lath ma: Elvhen. "I love you."
> 
> Ar lath ma'en, ma vhenan: Elvhen. "I love you too, my heart."
> 
> Fen'dirth: Elvhen. "Wolf speaks." A wolf's howl.
> 
> Asha'falon: Elvhen. "Female friend."
> 
> Dareth shiral: Elvhen. "Safe journey."
> 
> Lethallin: Elvhen. "Clansmen". A term of endearment used for close friends.
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Theneras in'atisha, ma'arlath: Elvhen. "Rest in peace, my love."
> 
> Ma'lin na'mala: Elvhen. "My blood is yours." A statement/promise of protection.
> 
> Da'len: Elvhen. "Little child, or little one."

"How is she?" Alistair asked impatiently as soon as Leliana emerged from Riel's tent.

"She's fine. Just exhausted," Leliana explained, a tight smile across her lips. She then nodded her head off to the side, silently leading Alistair away from the tent. "Wynne said that her collapse was a result of her using so much energy all at once. Normally mages are cautioned about draining themselves so much, especially the untrained." Leliana stopped on the far side of the fire and looked up at the ex-Templar. "How are you?"

Alistair shrugged at her concern. "Nothing that a good rest and a good meal couldn't fix," he offered with a shy grin. "Although I don't think a good rest is the wisest choice in actions right now."

"You are worried about the Darkspawn."

Alistair sighed heavily, his gauntleted hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. "I don't understand how they got so close without either Riel or I noticing. We should have had more warning. The shrieks can cloak themselves well enough sometimes, but the others? Especially the ogre? Why didn't we sense them?"

"Could it be because of the Archdemon?"

"I don't know…" he grumbled. "I may have been a Grey Warden for longer than Riel, but we're talking only by a matter of months. Not years. Not like the others who died at Ostagar. And even for the most senior of Wardens, there is still so much that we don't understand about Darkspawn." Alistair narrowed his eyes past Leliana and into the darkness beyond her. "We're taking too long doing this. The Darkspawn shouldn't be this far north yet, at least not in those numbers. Scouts? Maybe. But that was no scouting party of Darkspawn. That was a raiding party that stumbled across us. And this close to Redcliff? This worries me."

"You do not wish to remain here, do you?"

"No. I don't. We should have already left, in fact." Alistair looked back towards Riel's tent and grimaced. "It's not… I don't blame her. I know what I said. Earlier, before Zevran and I-"

Leliana smiled softly and stepped closer to him. "I understand. You worried for her. And when you worry, sometimes your words do not come out as they should. Correct?"

Alistair focused back on Leliana, once again feeling the strange pull he had felt earlier that day.  _Did her eyes always look so green?_

"Alistair?" Leliana questioned, bringing him sharply back to reality.

"Ahem… I ah… No, I guess I don't.  _They_  don't, I mean. My words. When I say them. Oh Maker, I'm doing it again, aren't I?"

Leliana giggled sweetly. "It is alright, Alistair. I understand you."

"Yes…. Uh… Let's see. Right. Darkspawn. Evil. Not staying here. That's where I was, I think…"

Leliana bit her lip in a near futile attempt to keep herself from giggling more. "I agree," she finally managed after a quick moment. Sobering, she coughed slightly and looked over at Riel's tent. "However, Wynne wasn't sure how long Riel would be out for. She has been taxing her body so much lately, what with the Deep Roads, and the the attack by the slavers. And now Darkspawn…"

"You never really got to finish your story about what happened down there. How bad was it for her?"

Leliana's features darkened sadly as her memory went back to the weeks underground. After a pause, she continued, her words sparse as she carefully chose them. "It was… difficult. Not just for Riel, although she dealt with the worst of it. When Zevran and I were poisoned…"

"Are you okay from that? I mean, you look okay. Physically. I mean-"

"I'm fine, Alistair," she replied with a short chuckle. "Riel went through a lot to save us, and not just from the spiders. Between the nightmares, the Broodmother, and her fight with Branka, I now know more than ever that the Maker chose Riel to lead us. No other could have survived what she has. And yet there is still so much more yet to come."

"All that is left is the Dalish, then to meet with the arl before finally calling a Landsmeet in Denerim."

"Even if the nobles do not join our cause, the Darkspawn are coming, Alistair. Loghain may think he can win this war against the Darkspawn and their Blight, but I saw what it was like down there in the Deep Roads. Riel may have leaded us around the majority of the Darkspawn, but there is an army waiting down there. And I think tonight was more than just accidental."

"You think the Archdemon sent those Darkspawn after us?" asked Alistair, stunned.

"Think of your own words. You and Riel  _should_  have sensed them earlier. Yet they somehow hid from you, while knowing exactly where we were. Their stronger fighters went straight for Morrigan and Wynne, while Sten, Oghren and Shale were kept busy by smaller rogues. And then there was that ogre! As soon as it appeared, it charged straight at Riel."

Alistair stood silent as he thought through her words. Darkspawn were not known for their overall intelligence, operating more as a collective force as bees from a hive would. However there was no denying their tactics that night. Busying their mages, distracting their fighters, then bringing forth their prized hitter to go straight for the leader of the group. It was unsettling to say the least.

"If we leave now and travel straight through, we could reach Redcliff within a day and half. Probably less than that if we could leave Bodahn's wagon behind and take the rougher paths through the brush."

"What of Riel? She cannot travel as she is."

"Then one of us will have to carry her. I do not like having any of us out here in the open like this. Not when they know where we are and Riel is unable to fight. Once we are in Redcliff, we can get the smithy to make her up some proper armor again."

"That will make her less vulnerable to attack, which I know will ease Zevran greatly."

Alistair couldn't help but still bristle at the assassin's name. "It might also keep her from resorting to her magic, which will keep her from draining herself again," Alistair replied with more harshness than he intended. Sighing he added, "there is also Templars in Redcliff. Probably left there from after curing Eamon, not to mention the arlessa also had her own retainer of knights on hand. Riel's casting magic… It is dangerous. Even though she is a Grey Warden. After what happened with Connor, they will be on alert for any signs of magic..."

"Perhaps it would be best that when we arrive in Redcliff, we do not make ourselves known to the arl and arlessa. If the Darkspawn are indeed moving faster, then we cannot afford to be detained by ceremony and prompt by visiting with the arl. Gaining the armor, restocking our supplies, and then moving on quickly before our presence is known would probably be best."

Alistair shook his head. "If it was found out that we avoided meeting with him, it wouldn't look good at the Landsmeet. Riel has already avoided meeting him once. Avoiding him a second time would make the banns question our loyalty to him, and in turn to all of Ferelden."

"Leave it to me," Leliana replied with a smile. "I still have some contacts left in Redcliff. With just a small number, I will be able to get Riel within the town and out again without anyone noticing. And if our more  _recognizable_  companions were to be seen traveling further south than here, making haste to meet with the Dalish, then any who saw them would also assume their Grey Warden leads would also be among them."

"You want to split up?"

"Not for long. Just a few days," she reassured him. "Shale, Sten, the dwarves, Wynne and yourself will take the southern paths from here. Zevran and I will take Riel to Redcliff, restock what we can, and then meet you at Southmere. It is west of Lothering, within the Hinterlands. There are plenty of hills to take refuge in if you come across Darkspawn while there, as well."

"I don't like the idea of leaving y-"*cough*"Riel, behind like that."

Leliana caught the slight change of words, yet she didn't say anything. " _We_  will be fine, Alistair," Leliana stated, a gentle upturn on her lips as she spoke. "This way we do not need to abandon Bodahn's wagon, and Riel will still get her armor."

"I notice you left Morrigan out of your plans."

"Morrigan will… do as she always does," Leliana answered honestly. There was never telling the witch what to do, and in truth the only one she ever seemed to listen to at all was Riel. Whether she would go with Leliana and Zevran, or with Alistair and the others, there was no way of telling. As much as Leliana liked the other woman, there was still so very little she knew about her.

"And what of Zevran? Do you think he will agree to this?"

"If it means getting Riel somewhere safe quicker? Maker, I will have to make sure everything is ready to go  _before_  I even tell him of our plans. Or else he will likely leave without me," Leliana laughed.

"So it's settled then? The three of you will go to Redcliff as soon as you're ready, while the rest of us head to Southmere?"

Leliana looked up at Alistair and caught the worried glance in his eyes. Ever since he awoke from his injuries that morning, he seemed different with her. More open. With himself, and with how he acted with her. Taking a chance, Leliana placed her hand on his cheek and smiled up at him. "The Maker protects his chosen, Alistair. And there is little doubt that Riel is one of those he has marked as his own."

Alistair placed his hand overtop of her own, his eyes burning with something far deeper than worry while he focused on her. "It's not just her that I am worried about."

"I know," Leliana replied softly. She then raised up on her toes and left a light kiss against Alistair's cheek. "But thank you for saying so." Leliana then stepped away from him, silently enjoying the blush that she witnessed overtake Alistair's face. "I need to go speak with Morrigan about our plans and find out what she will do. Then I will gather what I can before speaking with Zevran. You should go speak to the others and explain what is happening. We shouldn't stay here any longer than we have to."

Leliana then turned and walked away, heading toward Morrigan's fire off in the distance. Alistair watched her leave, his breath still lodged firmly in his chest since she kissed him.  _Will she….?_  he thought, before being rewarded with the sight of Leliana turning her head back to him, a knowing smile on her lips, before quickly turning back and continuing her way to the witch's camp.

"Maker's breath…" Alistair gasped, finally remembering that he did indeed need air to breathe.  _Was she always like that?_  Alistair wondered to himself. With a hard shake of his head, Alistair forced his brain back to where it needed to be, and not on the swaying curves of a certain redheaded woman. "Right. The others. Need to bring them up to speed." Alistair ventured one last look in the direction where Leliana had went, saying a silent prayer to himself.  _Maker, keep her safe. Watch over her, and protect her. And if it is your will, guide her back to me._ After a slight pause on his prayer, he added  _and keep Riel safe as well._

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Riel fought through the sludge of her senses to the calming scent of foreign spices and early morning sunshine. Even during their time in the Deep Roads, she hadn't ever felt this tired or lethargic. And with the comforting feel of strong arms wrapped her and the scent of the man she loved surrounding her, she felt in no hurry to get up and face whatever waited for her next.

Unwillingly, her mind went to vague images of an attack; of Darkspawn and watching her friends being swarmed by the evil creatures as she stood powerless to help them. And then the mass of rampaging purple skin, its evil eyes fixed on her alone as it charged her down with savage rage. The image became so vivid that Riel felt the swell of power come to her fingertips once more, the deep need to aid her allies and protect themselves biting at her barely awake consciousness.

"Shhh,  _mi bella_ … All is well…" the soft voice crooned to her. Her charged hands filled with his own, giving a slight squeeze of reassurance as he lifted them to a pair of soft lips. "You are safe. Feel me and know that you are safe," he whispered softly to her before placing soft kisses to her fingertips.

Riel slightly opened her eyes, lethargia weighing her down as surely as if she were being dragged underwater. "Z-Zevran…?" she managed to breathe out before shutting her eyes again. The room she was in was terribly bright, and the light assaulted her sensitive eyes.

"I am here,  _mi bella_. You should however go back to resting. There is no need to worry, for I am here to watch over you." Zevran leaned his head down and lighting kissed her forehead.

"The Darkspawn?" she whispered, her voice barely audible.

"Gone. And for now, beyond worrying about. You are safe here. Rest now."

As much as her body called out to do exactly that. still Riel refused to let herself succumb to the deep pull to rest. "The others?" she asked, her voice once more barely able to be heard.

"Safe. Now please,  _mi bella_. Allow your body to heal itself, and allow me do my duty to watch over you while it does so."

The weight pulling Riel under finally won over her stubborn resistance, however not before she whispered out in a meek voice " _ar lath ma_ " before finally falling back into the darkness.

Zevran gave her a small squeeze before whispering back to her, " _ar lath ma'en, ma vhenan_."

In truth, Zevran wished to be far away from where they currently were. Now alone in a room in Redcliff's Inn, it taken surprisingly little time for him to carry his Riel over the land. Once Leliana had explained her plan to him, it didn't take them long to gather what they needed and be on their way. Leliana had offered only once to take Riel from his arms, meaning to help him and share the burden of her weight. Yet Zevran dismissed her as politely as he could. Probably not as politely as he should have, but it was the best his strained mind could do at the time.

Even free from undead and demons, Redcliff was not an entirely safe place to be. Especially if one carried within them the blood of a mage. Blood that borne forth magics that were able to be sensed and followed by passing Templars or other mages. After all, Riel may be a Grey Warden, but Templars were not known to ask first before barging in with their mage smiting powers if they believed an apostate or gods forbid maleficar were thought be hiding somewhere.

Whatever Morrigan had brought forth in her  _lesson_  with Riel had combined with the attack on the camp, opening up a valve of magical power within her that lacked any control or conscious effort. It obeyed only her emotions, and sparked forth at the memories and nightmares that plagued her exhausted and healing mind.

Perhaps if Riel were awake and in control of her powers, things would be different. As it was, this was the third flare up of her latent abilities just since arriving in the town at the base of the castle where the arl lived with his wife. However, this was the first where she seemed to become mildly conscious for it, giving Zevran a small slice of hope. Already Riel had remained asleep for far longer than the mage Wynne had first guessed. The words the elder woman spoke to him that night after the battle still rung in Zevran's ears, echoing around his mind as he held his Riel to him.

"I have never seen an untrained mage call down so much power before," she had said to him then. "When a mage uses up her stored magic, they become weakened, unable to even stand. It is why Templars train to not just cancel out our magics, but resist them. To force a mage to use up her stored magics until they can cast no more, and so becoming easier to either capture or defeat. This…" Wynne had gasped, looking down at the sleeping Riel. "This is as if she used up far greater than she should have had access to, and now is paying the price for it."

 _Paying the price for it_. That was the way of his Riel. Always paying the price for someone else's mistakes. Someone else's evil. And yet she always shouldered each task, taking the new burden onto herself and adding it the others that continued to weigh her down. Even his own, to Zevran's shame.

Before Morrigan had come to  _speak_  with Riel that night, Riel had broached the subject of his former comrade and Crow, Taliesen, and the letter that Zevran had received from him. Insisting that she go with him when they reached Denerim, Riel had tried every bit of reason she could to change his mind. Using sound arguments about how it would be safer to approach his old friend as a group, and how with careful planning they could all walk away without any blood being shed.

And they were sound arguments. If only for very two important things; one, Zevran knew Taliesen and his former clan of assassins quite well. There was no peaceful result to the meeting that didn't require the death or capture of his Riel. The Crows would continue to come, as they always did, until the contract was either canceled by their employer, or the elders back in Antiva judged the contract void for their own reasons.

Second, and most importantly, there was no way in all of the Fade and beyond that he would allow his Riel to place herself in further danger because of him. Her deep exhaustion now was just one symptom of the larger curse that she carried. And all the gods themselves could not force Zevran to endanger her for his own protection. Far too often had he been forced to watch her fall in battle when he could do little to protect her. And each time, Zevran could feel a slice of himself shrivel and die. Only when he could look into her beautiful silver eyes and know that she was safe would that piece inside of his chest begin to live again. Yet with each resurrection, it would harden and grow bitter, cutting deeper with each injustice and hardship he witnessed her go through.

He simply could not risk her. As one protects their chest with armor, so too would Zevran protect his heart, and the one who now bore it for him. Taking whatever hits he could for her. Shedding his own strength and blood to keep her well and safe. Whatever it took. Whoever he had to kill, he would protect her. And when they finally reached Denerim, Zevran would leave a message for the Crows that would declare to them all that he was willing to risk a war with each of them in order to keep the woman he loved he safe.

The message would be drawn in Taliesen's blood, and the back alleys of Denerim would be the paper upon which he would cast the ink. After all, Zevran had earned every right to his large ego and confident claim to his abilities.

The purchased son of the Grandmaster Talav Arainai, Zevran was one of the best the guild had seen in generations. Holding the promise of restoring the once great house to it's former glory as first among the Crows. He was handpicked and personally trained by the best they had to offer.

And while Taliesen trained next to Zevran in house, they both knew that Zevran held the better blade. Rivals. Brothers. Companions and compatriots. The two men were closer than some would even describe as  _decent_ , even in Antiva. Yet none of that mattered now. The blood of his former brother was a small price to pay to keep the woman in his arms alive and well.

A soft scratching at the door to the room drew Zevran's attention, causing his hand to move to the sharpened dagger that rested only an inch away. There was the sound of a shuffling of fabrics, then the scraping of parchment being forced against the wood of the floor.

Zevran eyes roamed over Riel's sleeping form, taking note of her slowed and relaxed breathing. She appeared deep in a dreamless sleep, yet appearances could change in an instant if a nightmare came upon her. And if he was not there to quell her fears, even while fast asleep, her awakened magics could rise to defend her against dreamed foes. Yet if he guessed the sender of the message correctly, then knowing of its contents would be of incredible importance to keeping his Riel safe.

"Stay resting,  _mi bella_. I will not be far…" Zevran whispered to her softly. He then carefully extracted himself from her, moving slowly as to not waken her anymore than he had to.

Once standing, again Zevran reached out with his hearing, listening for any sounds of metal armor clanking or swords being made ready. He and Leliana risked much being in Redcliff so soon after what happened to the boy Connor. The mages may have returned to the Circle Tower to rebuild their order, yet the town and castle were not left without their Templars. Already skittish from seeing the dangers of magic, the townspeople would also probably not look too kindly on the sudden appearance of an apostate mage, even if that mage had so recently rescued them and their loved ones from demons and undead.

People were after all largely fickle with their loyalties. Especially scared humans who listened far too much to the frightening tales of magic gone wild preached by the Chantry, and who already had a distrust for elven folk.

Hearing no threatening sound, Zevran approached the door and bent down to retrieve the letter. It held no seal on it, and the paper was light and cheap. Something easily obtained and would probably burn easily if needed.

Opening up the folds, he read quickly the few words that were scratched across the surface.

_I have what we discussed._

_At fen'dirth, bring asha'falon to the where we first parted._

_The raven awaits._

_Dareth shiral, lethallin._

Zevran smiled as he read the words on the paper once more.  _Lethallin_. Not what he ever expected to be called by someone. Especially by a human. But he would take his allies where he could get them.

Judging from the amount of light shining in through the small window by the bed, it would still be several hours yet until night fall. Hours that could bring Templars if his Warden's magic continued to flare up as it had been. Coin only stilled wagging tongues so far, and a cloaked elven traveller bringing in his 'distressed' elven female was enough to set tales spinning on the best of days. Let alone in a human town recovering so soon after tragedy and distrustful of strangers.

Zevran just hoped the coin that Leliana used to quiet the rumors would be enough. The owner of the Inn was a woman by the name of Bella, someone who owes her ownership entirely to the efforts of Riel. During the siege of undead that had assaulted Redcliff when they were last here, Riel had convinced the previous owner and professional lout Owen to join the militia that defended the town. While Owen survived the night, he decided that life in Redcliff was not to his liking and left for Denerim, leaving the Inn to his waitress Bella.

Her debt to Riel and her companions was helpful when Leliana had sought out the woman's aid, and now Zevran just hoped the woman's goodwill lasted.

A desperate whimper from the bed brought Zevran's attention quickly over to Riel. Magic had begun to gather around her hands as she rolled over on to her back. Zevran was at Riel's side in an instant, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tightly against him.

"I am here,  _mi bella_. You are safe…. Calm yourself," he pleaded to her in a hushed voice.

The air around them crackled with gathered energy, called forth by the magic that was again spiking within Riel even as she slept. A sheen of sweat broke upon her skin, and her beautiful face contorted into a mask of pain. The glow of magic at her palms intensified and Zevran could feel the sparks of electricity that leaped free from her skin and onto his. The swell of power that now built was stronger than the others had been, and Zevran struggled to keep his own panic in check as he tried desperately to comfort the woman in his arms.

"Listen to me,  _mi bella_. Hear my voice. Know that whatever nightmare you face is not real. You are safe." Riel turned her body into his, his accented voice drawing her in as it always did. "That's it, Riel. Breathe. Know that I am here. Keeping you safe."

Quietly Zevran whispered to her in both Antivan and what he knew of Elvhen, speaking of anything he could, hoping that his voice would reach her through whatever darkness that held her. Riel moaned painfully against his chest, and Zevran wrapped his arms around her tighter in response. Slowly the charged air surrounding them released and dissipated, and the glow around her palms dimmed as the magic retreated back to where it came from.

"All is well,  _mi amor_.  _Theneras in'atisha, ma'arlath. Ma'lin na'mala_."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

_The hurlock collapsed dead by her feet, its head still sizzling from her magic. Still though she waited at the ready, knowing that more waited for her. Waiting somewhere out in the darkness, hunting her. She knew because she could_ _ **feel**_   _them. Acting as a beacon that called out to her over the distance, the beast's corrupted hearts beat in tune with her own._

" _They will never stop coming for you."_

_She whipped her head around, her daggers swiping out at the feminine voice that spoke. Yet her blades met nothing but empty air. Stilling her breath, she tried to reach out with her senses. However not even the foul things that haunted her every step could now be felt. The echo they caused in her blood was now silent, and for a brief moment in time, she was actually alone in the darkened woods that surrounded her._

" _You are growing stronger, da'len. However, you lack the ability to control that strength."_

_She again turned her body towards the voice, yet still her blades cut through nothing but empty air._

" _Where are you?!" she screamed out in weary anger._

" _I am where I have always been, da'len. Watching. Waiting. Weeping for you."_

_A spiral of bright energy appeared a few feet in front of her. The energy then spread out, taking on the vague shape of a female humanoid, featureless save for the curves that would denote it as a woman._

" _I know you…." she said, her eyes coming to rest on the brightness that was the humanoid's blank face._

" _As I know you, da'len."_

" _Who are you?" she asked cautiously. Even though the voice was familiar to her, the place she existed in was full of lies. The Beyond. The Fade. The place of dreams. Of demons. And of other foul creatures that were an echo of the corrupted Taint within herself. Together, they were everything that haunted and hunted her, both in dreams and in real life._

" _Now is not the time for questions. Our time here is short. I only have time enough for a message, and a word of warning." The form of a woman took a step closer to her, not seeming to either notice or care about the blades still raised against it. "The message I carry is thus: The next step will be painful da'len, but not without purpose. You will tread in places that have been long forgotten for a reason, however there you will find a means to stem the flow that swells. A gift for a gift. Yet not without a price. A price paid in equal parts, yet in unequal measure. Of service and duty. Of sacrifice and burden. Of old blood spilled and new life given."_

" _You speak in riddles!" she spat out at the form in front of her._

" _You would do well to listen carefully then. For here is the warning that I also give unto you: Enemies are not always those who strike at your heart. Allies are not always those who offer you aid when you are in need. And in order to be free, one must strengthen the ties that bind, even if doing so causes more pain than you ever thought possible. For only when you fall, do you find out if you can truly fly."_

" _I don't understand…."_

" _You will. In time. One can only hope that when that time comes, that it does not arrive too late. Alas, as long as the music plays, so we must dance." The voice sighed, shaking its luminescent head. "Go now, da'len. Take with you this one last promise…. The issue of burden that you carry will hold the blood of both silver and gold. I would not allow it otherwise. For what it is worth, you have my sympathy. And my blessing."_

 _The female form then became a swirl of energy once more, before finally disappearing completely. Alone once more, she looked to the distorted sky above, filled with more questions than answers. "Riddles do not aid me, old woman. You really_ _ **are**_   _an old hag who talks too much!" she vented bitterly to the sky above. Yet no further answers did she get, despite how desperately she longed for them._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Further authors note: Some dialogue taken from the game. Certain phrases uttered by the "feminine voice" in the Fade are quotes belonging to BioWare's character by the name of Flemeth. Riel's last dialogue sentence is also a quote taken from the game, slightly altered to suit my context.


	49. Redcliff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Despertar a mi diosa dormida: Antivan. "Awaken my sleeping goddess."
> 
> Fen'Harel: The Elven god of tricks and fear. Commonly referred to as the "Dread Wolf".
> 
> Mierda: Antivan. "Shit." A common swear word.
> 
> Mythal: Elven goddess of motherhood and protection.
> 
> Ma serannas: Elvhen. "My thanks" or "Thank you".
> 
> Lath'falin: Elvhen. Translated as "loving friend of blood." Someone born of the same parents, or one as close as a sibling.
> 
> Arlathvhen: Elvhen. Meeting of the Dalish clans, every ten years. Means "for love of the people."

The moon was high in the sky by the time Zevran heard a wolf's lonely call echo through the window. Two more flares of magical power had occurred since he received the letter earlier that day, bringing Zevran close to the brink of anxiety. Yet he needed to remain calm. Not for himself, but for his Riel. She had not awaken again, however she did once speak in her sleep, mumbling absently about riddles. Nothing that Zevran could garner any meaning from, and as he didn't wish to wake her, he remained curious as to what images and troubles that filled her more peaceful dreams.

With a flutter of wings and feathers, a black raven landed on the window sill of the room Zevran shared with Riel. Its yellow eyes scouting out the room before cawing quietly towards Zevran.

"Yes, I heard it. However, she has yet not awakened. Not fully, anyway," Zevran answered back to the raven. Again the raven cawed, its gaze going over the sleeping form of Riel beside him. "I assume you are asking about her? She is as she was earlier this day. Her powers flare during times of nightmares, yet not all of her dreams are such, thankfully." Zevran carefully pulled himself from Riel's embrace and sat up on the bed. "Did you acquire what I asked?" The raven made a show of pecking under its wing, adjusting its feathers in an obvious way. "It is hidden away? Or you have hidden it?"

The raven narrowed its yellow eyes on Zevran, almost looking annoyed if such a thing could be done by a bird. It then hopped up and down on the window sill several times, before looking out into the night behind it. Another quiet caw broke through the silence, followed by the bird stretching its wings.

Zevran sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. "Yes, you are right," he groused wearily. Their time was fleeting, and he had other things he needed to focus on at the moment other than pestering the woman with questions.

Looking over to the sleeping form beside him, Zevran hated having to wake her. She was again resting peacefully, the last flare of her magics ended over an hour ago, yet it had lasted for at least several minutes. Even with his arms around her, and his soft voice whispering to her, Riel couldn't seem to pull herself free from whatever nightmare that had taken hold. Desperate, Zevran was close to waking her any way he could then.

Thinking quickly, he covered her body with his own, taking her hands in his and kissed her deeply. The contact was enough to break the spell of dreams that she suffered from, quelling the buildup of magic at her fingertips. Riel didn't fully awaken even as she returned his kiss, but she calmed under him, which was all he desired at the time. Murmurs of his name on her lips could be heard before she fell back into the deep restful sleep that she was now in.

Gazing upon her now, Zevran wondered just what sort of state she would be in once she was awake. For almost two days she had slept, dreaming and healing from whatever trauma using her magic had caused her. Ideally, he should be waking her to eat and drink, not to travel more under the cover of night and shadows. Healing wasn't just about sleeping away the days after all, but taking care to nourish and replenish your body. Something that unfortunately was going to have to wait for his dear Riel.

Just one more thing for Zevran to regret, yet could not be helped. This place was just not safe enough for her to be in. Not when her magic flared wildly and Templars walked the streets, on edge at they searched for users of magics that could further harm the people of this town.

Carefully he leaned down to Riel, bringing his hand up to lightly cup her cheek. " _Mi bella_ … It is time for you to awaken," he crooned to her quietly. Slowly she stirred beside him, yet still her eyes remained closed. "Come now, the night is fresh and I wish to walk with you." Zevran hoped his gently pleading would get to open her eyes, yet all she did was nuzzle deeply against his chest.

"I'm tired…" Riel mumbled against him.

Zevran sighed deeply. He then lowered his head and placed light kisses against her jaw. " _Despertar a mi diosa dormida_."

His kisses were enough to draw a smile to her lips even though she grumbled playfully. Slowly Riel opened her eyes and looked up at Zevran, her smile broadening. At least until her eyes flickered to their surroundings, where they went wide with confusion. Quickly she tried to sit up, yet Zevran gently held her back.

"Where are we?" she asked, fear tainting her voice.

"In Redcliff," Zevran explained calmly. "After the battle you collapsed, and we took you here to rest. However, now I regret that we must continue on."

Riel silently fought against the fear that bubbled up inside of her. Confused and her mind foggy, she tried to make sense of where she was and what she could remember last. "I remember the Darkspawn… Fighting them… Then, nothing…" she whispered, trying desperately to keep her voice level despite the panic that laced through her.

"They are dead. Because of you, we were able to defeat them. However, you were so drained by the battle that you feel asleep immediately afterwards. I have been watching over you since."

From the window sill came an impatient cawing, making Zevran cringe. He was about tell the bird to leave them alone, when the black creature flew into the room and settled itself at the base of the bed the two elves were laying in. It cawed again, its yellow eyes darting back and forth between both Riel and Zevran. Then with its beak it took hold of a small bit of the blanket Riel was using and pulled, its wings flapping out as it flew backwards several feet, taking the blanket with it.

"By the Void! Is that a raven?" Riel gasped, eyeing the bird carefully.

"Yes…. And no…" Zevran replied with a frustrated sigh. Facing the raven, his eyes narrowed and his tone became harsher. "I will explain later, however," he then turned back to Riel, a shy smile lifting the corners of his lips, "right now we must hurry."

"What? Zevran, I don't understand?"

Another wolf's howl echoed through the window, bringing a sharp tremor to Riel. A wolf was an ill omen to the Dalish, representing the trickster god Fen'harel, the Elvhen god of mischief and evil. It was him who Riel named her hound after, as not only a connection to her people, but as an outward declaration of her refusal to be afraid. By naming her mabari after the Elvhen god, it was her statement to herself and others that she wouldn't be made to be afraid any longer. For she had the master of such evils at her heel, protecting her even when nobody did. However, that wasn't her hound's baleful howl that she now heard through the window.

Instinctively, Riel reached across the bed and tightly took hold of his hand. " _Fen'harel_ …" she whispered, her voice laced with fear.

"It is alright,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran replied, cupping her cheek in his hand and bringing her gaze up to meet his. "This wolf is one our side, I swear to you." He then turned to look at the raven. "Tell her we are on our way. We will be only a moment behind you."

The raven looked to each elf before cawing slightly in response. It then took flight, its powerful black wings carrying out of the room and out into the night beyond.

Zevran then pulled Riel's gaze to meet his own once more. "Trust in me,  _mi bella_. I will explain everything to you in time. For now, we must leave. Are you able to stand?"

Riel mentally snapped shut away her building fear, forcing her mentality into that which she used when in the midst of battle. With a stiff nod of her head, she pushed herself up from the bed and stood. For a moment she wavered, her legs weak, yet she wouldn't let that stop her. Weakness of body could be pushed through if one had reason to. And while she may not know whatever danger she was in, Riel trusted Zevran with everything she was. If he told her that it was time to leave, she would hold her questions until he was sure that they were safe again.

Bracing her hands on the wall by the bed, Riel fought for her balance. Thankfully Zevran was again at her side, his arm moving around her waist to help steady her. Offering him a quick smile of gratitude, the two of them walked around the bed to where the door was. Down on the floor was a small leather bag which Zevran picked up hooked the strap over his head.

"When we leave the Inn, we avoid the trail. There is a rockier pass that is more difficult, however it leads further away from the castle and is not one the knights or guards use on their route. However, I will help you up it,  _mi bella._  From there, we stay to the shadows, and I will lead you to a small carriage house that is no longer being used. They will meet us there."

" _They_?" she asked.

"Why, two of the loveliest ladies that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, I may say so. Other than you of course,  _mi bella diosa_ ," Zevran replied with a mischievous wink and grin.

Riel rolled her eyes, yet inwardly she found herself thrilled that they weren't alone here. Besides Zevran, there were really only two people who she truly trusted. And knowing that they were waiting for them eased Riel tremendously, even though she knew little else at the moment.

Stealthily the two of them sneaked past the closed doors of the other rooms, and down the stairs into the main tavern. Over at the bar stood an unfamiliar human male, a handful of cards gripped in his pudgy fingers. Zevran mentally cursed, yet continued silently past him, hoping the human would be too engrossed in his game to notice the two elves sneaking passed.

"Oi!" the human called out in a loud whisper. Zevran turned his body to shield Riel's face from being seen by the human, before placing a dry smile on his face and looking over at him. "Lady Nightingale sends her regards," the human stated in a gruff voice, motioning with his head over to a handing satchel by where the cloaks were usually hung. The human then went back to his cards, all but ignoring the two of them again.

Zevran's eyes narrowed first on the human, then to where the satchel hung. It was true the man had used the code that Leliana told him to watch for, yet still his suspicions rose. Still, Zevran nodded his thanks to the man behind the bar and continued past him, making sure to keep his Riel as hidden beside him as possible. While most humans were likely to confuse one elf with another, stories of the elven Grey Warden with silver eyes and a scar across her cheek would have spread since the weeks since they had saved the town. For his and Leliana's plan to succeed, Zevran knew that he had to keep the identity of the woman beside him from as many people as he could. Lest rumors be spread damaging her efforts at the Landsmeet when it was called.

Keeping Riel hidden at his side, Zevran's well experienced eyes to scan over the satchel before taking it from it's hook. There seemed to be no trip wires or suspicious latching attached to it. Casting one last look over his shoulder towards the barman, Zevran quickly took hold of the satchel and then quickly led Riel out of the building.

"What is inside?" Riel asked once they exited out into the night air.

Zevran remained silent, however, as he scanned the area around them. The night was clear and cool, and the moon above provided more than enough light for his sensitive eyes to peer into the darkness and shadows that lurked beyond the Inn where they stood. Apparently satisfied, Zevran lowered his honeyed gaze down to hers, a smile forming on his lips.

Under the glow from the moon above, Riel almost seemed to glow as she stood close beside to him. The way her midnight hair contrasted against her pale skin was a vision unto his eyes as she stared at her. By the gods above was she ever beautiful, with her slender features and rose hued lips. She was still in the tunic that he gave to her, and while dirt blood were splattered over it, under the light of the moon the blood added a certain savagery to her appearance that he was far from immune from. Combined with her tousled hair and silver eyes, she looked every bit the goddess she was to him.

"Zevran?" Riel asked, pulling him from his mental wanderings.

Instead of answering, however, Zevran took her into his arms and pushed her far into the shadows of the Inn behind them. Riel's back lightly slammed into the wood as his body overshadowed and covered her own. When Riel looked up into his eyes to ask if anything was wrong, she felt the breath leave her lungs at the hungry look she witnessed in his eyes as he looked down at her.

" _Mi diosa…_ " he whispered softly as he gently caressed her cheek with his fingertips. Zevran lowered his head to her neck, first breathing in deeply of her scent before placing featherlight kisses against her nape and collarbone. "You are everything to me, Riel. Never forget that." His voice was low as he spoke, filled with promises of lustfilled pleasure as his body pressed against hers. Zevran then lifted his eyes to meet hers, the deep seductive longing in his eyes mixed with an endless pool of love and need.

Zevran knew that he should be moving quickly with her. From the information that Leliana had gathered, the guards did regular rotations of the lower area of the town, while the knights patrolled the paths leading up to and around the castle. And both groups met in the middle, right here outside of the Inn. If they were going to go unnoticed by either group, he needed to move Riel quickly to the meeting point he had set up with the two women earlier.

Temptation clawed at him to taste her perfect lips, and to feel her naked body against his. To let his hands wander over her flesh and make sure for himself that she was unharmed and whole. It was the same drive that he always felt after a battle ended or enduring the wait while she recovered from whatever ailed her. It was far more than just purely sexual, yet that was certainly a part of it. To see the silver gleam in her eyes as he loved her. To feel the warmth of her body against his as he gave her pleasure. To hear his name on her lips…

All of it combined into an intoxicating and addictive drive that went far deeper and thicker than simple carnal release. For she was his heart. His soul. When she breathed, so did he. When her heart beated, so did his. Through her, Zevran was finally alive. And during those painful moments where he was forced to simply watch as she recovered from whatever recent attack did to her… Zevran tasted what true death was like. For to live without her, that was a hell even the Void itself could not outdo.

The shrill sound of a bird cawing sliced through the heated moment that Zevran and Riel were caught within. Sighing heavily, Zevran lightly ran his fingertips across her lips. "When I have you safely away from this, we will continue this moment,  _mi bella_. For now, we must hurry."

Zevran reluctantly pulled himself away from her warm body and took her hand in his. Casting a look around to make sure that no one was visible, he quickly pulled Riel away from the small alcove they hid in. Together they crept along the shadows that led away from the Inn and up to a rocky and overgrown path that led up a steep hill. From overhead, a raven called, it's black body circling in a wide arch back along the path they came from.

" _Mierda_!" Zevran hissed, his eyes scanning around frantically. Spotting a thick bramble of long weeds, he pulled Riel over to them and quickly ducked them both down to the ground.

A dozen or so feet away came the sound of heavy footsteps, along with the telltale sound of thick metal clanking against itself. Not a guard, for they wore lighter mail, this was a knight coming around the path that led from the castle to the Inn. And as all knights were, this one was trained as Templar, the insignia of the Templar order emblazoned on the front of his silver armor.

Zevran's hand reached for his blade, pulling it free from its sheathe. While Leliana had pressed into him how she didn't wish any harmed, he wasn't about to let his Riel fall into the hands of an overzealous Templar. Under the employ of the Arl of Redcliff or not, all Zevran saw in that moment was a threat to his soon to be wife and goddess.

"Zevran, no…!" Riel quietly hissed, placing her hand on the arm of his that wielded the dagger.

Just then the knight up ahead shouted out a pained groan. Both elves lifted their eyes in time to see something fall from the sky above the knight and land on his head.

"What the-?" the Templar exclaimed, rubbing his head. Looking up, he grumbled quietly to himself as he saw the black bird above. "Sodding birds!" he cursed out a moment before something else fell from the sky and landed square between the Templar's eyes. "By the Maker! What has gotten into that thing!"

Riel could have sworn the bird let out a cawing laughter before it flew off in the opposite direction from where she and Zevran hid. The Templar, now grimacing in his foul mood, stalked off back towards the path that led up to the castle. And away from the two hiding elves.

Once the Templar was out of sight, Zevran sheathed his dagger and took hold of Riel's hand once more. Quickly they snuck back over the rocky and overgrown path that led up the hill they stood next to. Riel felt a cluster of butterflies in her stomach as she looked up at the steep and gravelly path before her. Obviously this path wasn't used for a reason, and probably only ventured by adventurous youth looking for a thrill as they either climbed or slid down the hill. However, to Riel it looked even more intimidating than a rampaging ogre.

"I will be behind you the whole way,  _mi bella_. Trust in your footing, and know that I will never let you fall."

Riel looked over her shoulder and smiled softly at Zevran behind her. However even his reassurance couldn't quell the queasy feeling that she felt in the pit of her stomach as she looked at the trail ahead.  _Mythal, guide my steps_  she prayed silently to herself. Then with a sigh she carefully stepped forward, testing the gravel filled ground with each step as she slowly made her up the hill.

It was difficult, and once Riel almost lost her footing entirely, thankfully Zevran had kept his word was immediately behind her, holding her up. Taking a breath to steady herself, Riel again pushed herself forward. Grabbing hold of weeds and jutting rocks to aid her, eventually Riel reached the top of the hill. And standing just at the edge offering her arm was the beautiful visage of her friend and companion Leliana.

Riel grabbed hold of the woman's arm and allowed herself to be guided up the rest of the way. Once at the top, Riel pulled Leliana into a tight embrace. "I am so glad that you're here," she whispered hoarsely.

"Where else would I be?" Leliana giggled quietly. She then took Riel by the hand and led her over to an old abandoned building not too far off. "I have a gift for you, Riel. Come and see."

Quietly Leliana led Riel passed the building to the wooden shelter just beyond, where in better times a carriage would have been waiting to be used. Inside Leliana led her, and into one of the hay covered horse stalls. There hidden away in a corner was an old gas lantern and a large leather bag. With steady hands Leliana lit a low flame in the lantern and set about opening the bag.

"I wasn't exactly sure your size, yet I knew you were smaller than I was, so I went from there. And I know how you like to have your upper arms and shoulders covered…" Leliana stated quietly as she pulled something out of the bag. "I even managed to find some warm yet adorable boots and pretty bracers to go along with it. It may perhaps be a bit shorter than you are used to, however. I had to get it adjusted, and I think the seamstress may have removed too much."

Riel became speechless when Leliana turned around and showed off what she held. It was a beautifully crafted leather armor, fit enough for generals or royalty. Tinted with multiple shades of green, the leather was inscribed with leafwork with silver metal acting as both an embellishment and reinforcement. The decoration wasn't extravagant, yet the elegance of it was in its subtle and well countered with form and function.

The beauty of it could have compared to a gown fit for a queen as she attended her court of nobles. For Riel, it was the most exquisite thing that she had ever seen.

" _Ma serannas, lath'falin!_ " Riel exclaimed happily. Reverently she reached out her hand to lightly touch the armor that Leliana held. "Oh, but I cannot accept this!" she stated, pulling her hand back sharply.

"Nonsense! It is our gift to you, for everything you have done for us so far."

"Do I not get a word of thanks, as well?"

Riel looked over to see the witch Morrigan stalk over to them. "Morrigan!" Riel exclaimed before nearly running the woman over to embrace her.

"'Tis a pleasure to see you, as well my friend," she replied stiffly. Lightly she patted Riel's back before gently pushing the other woman away from her and stepping back.

"Thank you for the distraction earlier, my lovely Morrigan," Zevran stated with a small chuckle.

"Yes well, I shan't have  _needed_  to distract that oaf if you hadn't tarried so," Morrigan snapped with false bitterness.

"The raven. That was you, wasn't it?" asked Riel.

"Gruesome spiders are not the only form I am able to take when the need arises. However, the longer I remain as such, the more taxing it becomes on my reserve of magic," she replied with obvious annoyance towards Zevran. Morrigan then shifted her focus over to Leliana, her eyes quickly moving to the bag at the rogue's feet. "Do you have what I asked?"

"Of course!" Leliana bent over and rummaged through the bag for a moment before pulling forth two medium vials of blue liquid. "I only managed to get five altogether, but that should be enough to get us to Southmere. From there, the Brecilian forest isn't far, and from what I remember, it is full of herbs you could use to brew more."

"My thanks," Morrigan replied with a short bow of her head. "Now, I suggest that we not tarry here any longer than we must. We have what we came for, and Riel seems well enough to travel at least for a time."

"We're going to Southmere? Is that where the others are?"

"Aye. We figured that coming here in a small group would be best. It would allow us to restock and tend to you without arising much notice from the arl or those watching him," replied Zevran.

Riel felt tears stinging at the corners of her eyes as she looked on the others standing next to her. "I am sorry that I am such a burden, everyone. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't need to sneak around like this."

Zevran pulled Riel against him and wrapped his arms around her. "You are  _never_  a burden,  _mi bella,_ " he said softly to her.

"As much as it pains me to admit such, the assassin is correct. If I thought you a burden, I would not expend the effort that I have."

"Thank you," Riel replied tearfully.

"Oh hush before you have me crying as well!" Leliana giggled. "Now, let's get you changed. It would be best to away from here before morning comes. Southmere is two days from here, nestled deep within the Hinterlands. The others should be no more than a day or so ahead of us, so we hurry we can still make it to the edges of the Brecilian forest within a week's time."

"From what I can remember of what Keeper Marethari told me, there should be a clan in that area this time of year. The Keeper didn't say much about them, only that their own Keeper was secretive and distant, even at the large clan gatherings that take place every so often."

"They are our best bet for getting the support of the Dalish, are they not though? Unless there are other clans nearby?" asked Leliana.

Riel shrugged. "I honestly don't know. The clans keep separate most of the time, only coming together once every ten years during  _Arlathvhen_. For the rest of the time, they are spread out across of all of Thedas. I don't even know where my own clan is right now."

"The only Dalish that I know of are those that travel around Antiva, and I doubt they would aid us even if they could travel here in time. They think little of humans and their conflicts, and have been known to be increasingly violent towards anyone they deem as 'outsiders'," added Zevran.

"Let us hope then that these Dalish are more welcoming of us, even with their mysterious keeper," Morrigan remarked snidely. "Come then. There is much distance to travel, and little time to do so in."


	50. Southmere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mi diosa: Antivan. "My goddess."
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."

 

Southmere was your typical small town in the midst of the wilderness. Close neighbors, devout families, and hardworking people that spent most of the daylight hours out in their fields or tending their homes. If it wasn't for the rampaging Darkspawn, it would have been idyllic.

As it was, the few buildings and houses that remained standing were either burnt out or still in the midst of a blazing fires that ate and tore at the insides of this one peaceful community. The smell of charred bodies, blood, and corruption was a foul and rank odor in Alistair's nose as he looked over the scene before him. The people who once lived in this peaceful village were either now dead or long gone, making the place deserted. Even the Darkspawn who befouled this place were now gone, leaving nothing behind but their corruption and the destruction that they caused.

"By the Maker…" he sighed, looking over the carnage.

Even if there were survivors who managed to flee in time, there was nothing left for them to come back to. The land already showing the signs of the Tainted corruption that the Darkspawn carried with them, it would take decades for it to recover enough to be suitable again. Perhaps even longer. Everywhere the Darkspawn went, they carried their Taint with them, corrupting even the very air people breathed as they made their way north from the Wilds.

"Perhaps there are survivors…" Wynne stated softly.

"If there were, they either are long gone, or were dragged off by the sodding 'spawn," Oghren huffed.

"Come on. Let's look around. We might find… something…" Alistair replied wearily.

Ever since splitting with the others, Alistair had taken on the leading of the group as they travelled eastward along the Hinterlands. The land itself was a mixture of rolling grassy hills and rich arable farmland that supplied much of the western towns and cities in Ferelden, including Redcliff to the north.

The Hinterlands were dotted with small communities of farmers, and Southmere was the largest settlement between Honnleath in the west and Lothering in the east, even though that was saying much. Perhaps no more than a couple dozen people had once lived in the small farming community. Yet they were farmers, not warriors trained for battle. As such they match for the corrupted evil that had swept over them, destroying everything they touched.

"It's mostly the bodies of men. Do you think perhaps the women and children escaped?" Wynne asked hopefully.

Alistair couldn't bring himself to answer as he looked around at the carnage. He may not have been with the others while they battled along the Deep Roads, yet Leliana had told him of what she and the others had found while down there. About the evil and vile things that Darkspawn did to those they captured.

"It will be dark soon. There is nothing here for us to find. We should move on."

Alistair looked up at the giant Sten and grimaced. He had hoped…. For what? For survivors? For something to tell reassure him that something could be salvaged from this horror? That even he had rushed the others here instead of taking his time, it wouldn't have mattered anyway?

Since leaving the area where he and the others were ambushed by Darkspawn, Alistair had kept a reasonable yet staggered pace as he guided the others over the Hinterlands to Southmere. Hoping that perhaps by the time they reached the small community, Leliana and the others would already be here or not be far behind. And yet as he now looked upon the death and destruction before him, Alistair's mind plagued him with the what ifs of that simple decision.

What if he had pushed himself and the others to get here sooner? Had not taken the longer route on purpose, in order to delay their arrival? Would they have gotten here to save these people? At least some of them? How many women and children were now fated to turn into foul things of nightmares because of his decision?

"Maker…. Is this what you deal with?" he wondered quietly to himself, thinking of all the times Riel had made decisions for the rest of them.

Which route to take. Which area to explore. Who to befriend, who to aid, who to defend. Who to instil as king over an entire race of people.

How many times had he taken advantage of her role as leader? Depended on her to make the hard choices so he didn't have to? Alistair knew he was no good at leading. He was a soldier, not a commander. Which is why after the loss at Ostagar, he had deferred to Riel to lead them. Thinking that her calm, stoic temperament was better than his jovial easy going nature. Even when angry, Riel seemed to always make the best choices for them.

Perhaps the truth was, he just wasn't capable of living with the after effects of his choices. Of the lives that would be affected by his decisions. In the Chantry, he would have just been another knight, following the orders of his commander or the Divine. In the Grey Wardens, it was no different. Following Duncan around while he led and made the decisions for the Wardens under him.

Alistair had always just followed orders of others. Whether it was the Chantry's, Duncan's, or now Riel's. Yet until now, he never truly appreciated how much those orders effected the ones making them. What it did to their minds when those decisions ended poorly, or the weight they played on the minds of ones making them.

Take this one simple choice he had made days ago - to take their time as they made their way to Southmere. It had changed the lives of so many people. Something he had thought right at the time, now he realized, was so incredibly wrong. And it was something that he would have to live with for the rest of his life. These people's deaths, and the deaths that would result from the capture, were now on his hands.

_Is this what you deal with everytime?_

Alistair thought back to the first time he and the others were in Redcliff, when they fought through the undead and spirits brought forth by the possessed Connor. How had he missed how tired she had been then? How drained? And the way he behaved towards her…. It brought a feeling of sickening shame to Alistair's stomach as he thought of it.

Then again at the Circle Tower. Choosing to brave the demons and abominations instead of allowing the Knight Commander to invoke the Right of Annulment, which would have ended the lives of every single mage still living and fighting to survive with the tower. Greagoir had thought Riel made for even trying. The risk of even one blood mage escaping was too great, he thought. Yet Riel stubbornly lifted her chin and declared that even  _one innocent_  dying needlessly was an even greater crime.

At the time, Alistair thought Riel was mad. To fight against an entire tower of blood mages and abominations on the slight chance of saving people who might be corrupted…

Alistair turned subconsciously, his eyes seeking out the elderly mage Wynne several feet away. She was one of the few Riel had managed to save that day. Kind, patient, and compassionate to an almost fault, Wynne reminded him so much of what he often dreamed his mother would have been like. And he would have let her die, out of his own fear and distrust. Without knowing what kind of person she was, or the goodness she carried within her.

And not just her, either. When Riel and him had first come upon Wynne, the elder mage was protecting several other mages, a few of them no older than mere children. One looked to be Connor's age, no more than ten or twelve. And the knights would have killed them to prevent the spread of demons. The bitter irony of his support of that action was a hard lump in his chest thinking back to his own defence against doing the same thing to Connor himself back in Redcliff.

However, just as Riel couldn't sacrifice Connor's life for the so-called 'greater good', neither would she would have sacrificed the lives of those mages. Strangers to her, yet she risked everything for them. Even her own sanity.

Yet for the longest time, Alistair could remember being angry with Riel for what happened at Redcliff that day. The supposed 'deal' that she had made with the demon that possessed Connor. However if placed in the same situation, Alistair wondered what he would have done in the same situation. Sacrifice Isolde's life to save Connor's? Risk battling the demon, endangering Connor's life?

No matter what he thought at the time, Alistair now knew Riel made the only choice she could have. The only one that had the potential to save the most amount of lives. It was what she always had done. Apart of who she was at her very core. Saving the lives of people she didn't know, giving them every chance she could, even if it put herself at risk.

This time Alistair's eyes drifted over the hulking form of the giant Sten. The man had coldly killed an entire family in a blind rage over losing his sword. Yet Riel could not simply let him starve to death in that cell in Lothering. Or worse, be left for the invading Darkspawn. The Qunari was an enigma of mysteries, both loyal yet distant. His composure outside of battle that of quiet stoicism. Yet in battle, he was a beast who cut down everything in his path. The savagery needed to perform such a ruthless murder plainly evident as he cut down his enemies. However, knowing what he did, Riel not only freed the giant, but still allowed him to travel with them.

And of course, hot on the heels of the the thought of Riel's saving of the Qunari, was the image of the smiling and laughing assassin from Antiva.

Just as Sten was, Zevran was a killer, admitting fully how he had murdered for both coin and clan. Yet Riel had taken the other elf into their group. Accepting his pledge of loyalty as she had accepted that of Sten's. And yet Alistair had not hated the Qunari as he had hated the Antivan elf. The cold truth of it, was it wasn't because of what Zevran had done that caused Alistair's continued ire. But what Alistair saw what he was  _doing_.

Riel wasn't a fool. Alistair knew that. She was stubborn, hard willed, and vicious to those who threatened her. She cut down her enemies with a cold surety that reminded Alistair far more of giant Sten than he wanted to admit. Yet she wasn't foolish. Alistair knew that. It seems that he had just forgotten it for a time.

At her core, Riel was everything Alistair had wished he himself could be. A leader. Someone who others would turn to. Knowing not just how to make the difficult decisions, but ready and willing to make them and dealing with whatever came afterwards. A core value that he still struggled with, judging from his reaction upon coming here to Southmere.

Was that why he loved her? Admiration? Was what he felt even  _love_?

The image of braided red hair and beguiling green eyes entered Alistair's mind. She was like Riel in so many ways, yet in many ways she wasn't. Where Riel was hard and distant, Leliana was warm and welcoming. She even laughed at his corny jokes, where Riel usually either just rolled her eyes or threatened him. Leliana was even patient with his blunders, giving him time to apologize.

Alistair remembered again the way she had smiled at him that night as she walked to inform Morrigan of their plans. Why hadn't he ever noticed before how amazing her smile was? The way her summer green eyes seem to sparkle, even when there was little light around? Thinking on it, Alistair realized that he always had an easy time whenever he talked with her. Well,  _easier_. His words still seemed intent on causing him problems whenever the topics ranged into something more personal than the evening meal or tactics for upcoming battles. Yet where all he seemed to do was insult Riel, Leliana only smiled and seemed to  _understand_  him. Blunders and all.

"What d'ya want ta do 'bout the others? Miss red and the Warden will be here soon," Oghren stated flatly.

Alistair paused as he thought about their options. Staying in the village wasn't safe, in case more Darkspawn returned to pillage anything. Bandits were also known to crawl through recently destroyed towns and villages, looking for things to sell. Both would be a problem if Alistair and the others were caught unaware. Yet they couldn't leave either, as the others wouldn't know where to look for them.

"I shall stay, and will inform the tiny Warden about what happened here," Shale volunteered.

"And what about the rest of us? We can't leave Riel and the others behind," Wynne stated from beside the golem.

"We're  _not_  leaving them behind," Alistair replied sternly. "We'll head back to the cave we camped in last night. It isn't all that far from here, although it is enough out of the way to not likely to be found by returning Darkspawn or scavengers." Alistair paused, waiting for anyone to voice their disagreements. Instead everyone remained silent, as if waiting for him to decide about what to do next. "Good. Now let's go. I've had enough of the smell of death for today."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

The smoke from the fires could be seen from over a mile away, yet it wasn't until the village came into view that Riel knew for certain. Until she witnessed the smoldering fires and the burned out buildings for herself, she had continued to hold out that maybe - just maybe - her fears were not being realized. That it wasn't yet another village sacked and destroyed by the Darkspawn that had flooded onto the surface for the past few months.

"Spread out. I want to know how long ago this happened," she ordered to the others.

 _Please, Mythal, let them be okay…._  she prayed to herself.

Even though Riel had never been to the small farming community before, her heart ached for the people who had died here. Mangled and twisted bodies were strewn everywhere, pieces missing from their corpses as birds and other carrion animals feasted upon the rotting flesh. Walking along the carnage, Riel's foot nearly tripped over something on the ground. Looking down, a thick lump of sorrow lodged in her throat.

Riel crouched down, scooping up the small child's doll in her hands. The doll's blonde hair was burned, but still mostly intact. The blue dress it wore was covered in blood though, and one it's button eyes were missing. At one time, this little thing was probably incredibly precious to someone. A smiling little girl who played joyfully with it while she spent her days among her family and then would hold it tightly to her chest as she slept at night.

Zevran watched with sad eyes as Riel held the small doll in her hands. Being an assassin, he was no stranger to death, yet the death of a child was something that he could never agree to. Even if others of his order would commit such foul deeds, it was one of the few things that he had always refused to do. No child deserved death. Although knowing the evil things that would happen to those captured by the Darkspawn, death would probably be a mercy compared to what awaited whatever poor souls who were captured here.

"We will end this Blight,  _mi bella_."

Riel looked over to Zevran, tears glistening in her eyes. "They were just children, Zevran," she replied tearfully.

Zevran wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "I know. However, there is nothing we can do for them now."

"Riel!" Leliana called out from a short distance away.

"Come now,  _mi diosa_. Let us continue. The others should be close by."

Riel nodded her head sadly. After taking one more look at the doll in her hands, she tossed it down to the ground and followed Zevran towards where Leliana was.

"I knew it would eventually show up. The whiny knight will be pleased, no doubt."

"Shale!" Riel exclaimed with a smile. "Where is everyone? Are they alright?"

"The others are making camp in a cave not far from here. We arrived here yesterday, however the Darkspawn were already long gone. Pity. It has been too long since I was able to smush something."

"Fret not my stone friend, I am sure there will be more squishy things for you lay your massive fists into soon enough," Zevran chuckled.

"Oh I do hope so," Shale replied almost gleefully. "Now, shall I lead you to the cave? The whiny knight has been by several times already today, pestering me with questions about the red headed thing."

"He was asking about me?" Leliana asked, surprised.

"Indeed. All its questions these past few days have been about it. What it likes, and what it eats. Honestly, how am I to know such trivial things?" groused Shale, obviously annoyed.

"Wonderful," Morrigan replied, rolling her eyes. "Do I have to put up with the fool's ignorant blathering on about Leliana next?"

"If you are jealous Morrigan, I am sure the dwarf Oghren would be able to whisper sweet things to you. If you don't mind his breath, that is."

Morrigan glared at the chucking assassin next to Riel. "Oh do not make me ill! 'Tis enough I must deal with the various stenches of you males as it is. I would rather lie with a nug then have that ale swilling, belching ignoramus whisper anything to me."

"Alright, alright," Riel stated, hiding her grin at the banter. "Come on. Let's go meet up with the others.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Alistair stood at the edge of the cavern, looking out over the rolling hills as the sun above began casting the brilliant shades of purple and reds that brought along sunset. Inwardly he debated whether he should go back to Southmere to check on Shale again. Perhaps scout the outlining area once more while he was there. Honestly, to do anything other than this useless waiting.

The previous night he had lied awake in his tent, images of those villagers being dragged off tormenting his mind every time his eyes dared to close shut. Except, instead of the faces and screams of numerous strangers being slaughtered by Darkspawn, one face in particular stood out among the rest. Only, it wasn't who Alistair thought it would be. The face who had previously haunted his dreams and nightmares had now shifted, changing from dark hair to red, and silver eyes to brilliant green.

From back inside the cave, Riel's hound suddenly let out a raucous bark and sprinted out past Alistair. An explosion of joy mixed with apprehension erupted in Alistair's chest, knowing that there would only be one reason why the mabari would race off the way that he did.

First to be seen coming over the hill beyond was the grey stone frame of the golem Shale. She was easily as tall as the giant Sten, however Shale would be the first to complain to any who would listen about how her previous master has quite literally shaved down her frame from a much more massive size. As most stone golems were certainly at least a few feet larger than she was, it did make Alistair wonder just how one exactly went about 'shaved' down a golem. All Shale said on the matter when he asked what it taken to do such a thing was 'a lot of nerve'.

However, coming up alongside the golem was the sight that Alistair found that he had truly been waiting to see. Fiery red hair locked in various braids that crowned the head of a woman who had somehow become curiously more important to him over the past few days. Not that she wasn't important. It was just that since waking from his injuries after fighting with the assassin, the woman had somehow edged her way into his consciousness in way that was both strange and unfamiliar.

Alistair couldn't keep back the beaming smile seeing her gave to him. Especially not when the smile he got in return from her nearly sent him to his knees with how brilliant it was.

"It's good you made it back!" he stated as they neared. Instinct in him had him wishing to embrace the woman, yet he held back, fearing her reaction. They were travelling and fighting companions after all. Not anything more than that. Even though Alistair felt himself suddenly wishing for something more than that during that moment.

"How are you and the others?" Riel asked to Alistair.

Alistair looked over to the smaller woman, almost as if seeing her for the first time. And perhaps, that was more true than ever before. Dressed in an amazing suit of leather armor, Riel looked just as beautiful as she always did. Her long black hair was done up in a tight ponytail at the back of her head, and her silver eyes still cast the same deep, haunting look they usually did. Yet there was something different in the way he regarded her just then. Something had shifted inside of Alistair, and where he would have once felt the anxiety and breathlessness that being so close to her usually brought on, now he felt more at peace standing next to her. The pull of his soul no longer dragging him towards to exotic beauty, but now gently guiding him in another direction.

"We're doing good. I'm just sad we couldn't get to the village in time to save the people there from the attack," he replied regretfully.

Riel noticeably stiffened, and Alistair could tell that she echoed his sentiment, even if she didn't say so. After a small pause of silence, Riel lifted her gaze to the sky before bringing it back down to Alistair's.

"It's too late to travel any more today, especially if there are Darkspawn in the area. Is there room inside of there for a couple more tents?" Riel asked, motioning with her head towards the cave behind him.

"It may not look like it from the outside, but it's a pretty decent size inside," Alistair replied. "Oghren even managed to snare some nugs earlier, so there is fresh meat cooking over the fire if you are interested."

"Oh those poor little bunny pigs! Hopefully he put them out of their misery quickly! I just adore those cute little animals!" Leliana exclaimed sadly, her hand coming up to cover her mouth in horror.

All of their eyes went to her, their expressions ranging from amusement to shock. "I've never seen you so upset over an animal before Lei," Riel stated to her, biting back a smile.

"I can't help it! Haven't you seen the way they scrunch up their noses when they sniff the air? Or the way their long ears twitch when they sleep? They are just so adorable!"

Morrigan rolled her eyes at her friend. "Please do not tell me you are to be shedding tears over those annoying little creatures!"

Leliana giggled and stuck her tongue out at the witch. "Oh hush you. I saw the way you were petting that stray cat back in Redcliff. I happen to know that you have your own soft side, Morrigan."

"I most assuredly do  _not_ ," Morrigan groused, her bright yellow eyes narrowing on the red head. "The feline merely had… something in it's fur… I was only removing it. Because… Well never mind," she huffed, obviously annoyed. "I am tired and wish to retire. Stay out here and continue on as you will, however I shall be seeing to my own tent and belongings for the night."

Morrigan than pushed passed the small group and into the cave beyond, studiously ignoring the giggles of both Leliana and Riel. Although the was a small amount of bitter mumbling that could be heard before the witch disappeared inside.

"Come  _mi bella_. I know you are tired, so let me bring you inside to the fire so you may rest while I set up our things for the night."

"You know, I can help set things up too, Zevran," Riel scoffed as she let herself be led towards the cave.

"This I more than know,  _mi amor_. However, I would prefer for you to save your energy for much later this evening," he replied with a solicitous wink. "I think perhaps you will need it for when I have you away from the others, alone in our tent..."

"Ugh…" Shale groaned. "If they are to be making those dreadful noises again this evening, I will gladly remain out here, scouting the area for possible things to squish." Shale then turned around and stalked off, leaving Alistair and Leliana alone.

For a few minutes, a thick silence prevaded the space between them. Both unsure of what to say, or how to continue onwards.

"I'm really glad-"

"I am happy to see-"

They both spoke at the same time, causing a deep blush to redden Alistair's face while Leliana giggled playfully.

"Look, I just wanted to say that I am sorry," Alistair stated quickly.

"Sorry for what?"

"Mostly for being such an idiot," he laughed nervously. "I guess I am just not used to…  _things_ ," he stated after a moment. "Duncan used to sometimes tell me that it takes more to being a Warden than just hitting things. But really, it's the only thing I've ever been good at. That and making a fool out of myself."

"Oh I think that you could be very good at a lot of things, Alistair," Leliana replied coyly, taking a step closer to him. "You just need to be given the chance to. And perhaps, you just need someone to help show you the way…"

Alistair's breath caught in his throat as he looked down at Leliana. The way her eyes sparkled with mischief, as well as something else far deeper… It called out to some inner part of himself. As a hound being called to attention, this hidden part of Alistair seemed captivated by the woman in front of him. Ready and willing to almost beg for something...  _Anything_. As long as she was the one who offered it to him.

"I uh-"*cough*"I think I might like that…." he managed to finally say.

"Come Alistair. Come sit with me by the fire. I think I have more stories to share that you might like," Leliana stated with an enticing lilt to her voice. Reaching out, she took hold of his hand, and together they walked back inside the cave, side by side.


	51. The Pains of Magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Ir abelas: Elvhen. "I'm sorry."
> 
> Emma lath: Elvhen. "My love."
> 
> Perdóname, pero quiero hacer el amor a usted: Antivan. "Forgive me, but I wish to make love to you."
> 
> Ir abelas, ar nuvenin tu'lathne: Elvhen. "I'm sorry, I wish to make love to you."
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Ar lath ma: Elvhen. "I love you."
> 
> Ar lath ma'en, ma vhenan: Elvhen. "I love you too, my heart."

"You have been avoiding me,  _mi bella_..."

Riel kept her eyes on the fire, even as she felt her cheeks darken in a blush. Zevran settled himself behind her as he usually did, placing her body between his and his arms coming around her waist to hold her tightly to his chest. Most of the others had either gone to their tents for the night, or were out on watch, leaving just the two of them still awake by the fire.

Yet even as tired as Riel was, she still couldn't find the courage to retreat back into her tent. It wasn't a fear of attack from her enemies that was keeping her awake, however. The cavern that Alistair had found for them to camp in was well defended and secure, a major change from how their camps were normally set up. Where before they camped out in the open, with only a guard or two keeping watch, this cave provided much more protection from not just the shifting elements of Ferelden's weather. With only one entrance, it gave an extra level of security as it limited where they could also be attacked from.

Yet, it wasn't Darkspawn or bandits that Riel feared now. Ironically, she would probably welcome a fight right now. Somewhere to release the build up stress that had been forming over the past few days.

In truth, ever since leaving Redcliff the day before last, Riel had been more afraid of herself. Despite the reassurances that Zevran gave to her, Riel could feel how unstable her own magic had become. Before, the magic that she flowed inside of her blood was always just a small whisper in the back of her mind. A quiet nudging that she could ignore without even thinking. Now however, it was if gale of power battered at her, threatening to break free at the slightest lessening of her strict control.

Even the smallest shift in her emotions would cause her magic to break free, whether it was out of anger or joy. Setting fire to one's own clothing was not something that a person should have to worry about just because you laughed at a joke. Or causing a shock of electricity to burst forth just because you got frustrated with the new buckles on the armor that you weren't yet used to.

Zevran had tried telling her that she would get to her magic in time. Even Morrigan had said so. However, Riel wasn't nearly as confident as they seemed to be. She had lived with her magic for almost all of her life, yet now for some reason she could no longer control it. Almost overnight, she had gone from being able to easily ignore the power that rested inside of her, to fearing even the simplest tasks incase her frustration got the better of her and she caused a fireball to erupt from her hands.

"Speak to me,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran crooned from behind her. "I know you are hurting. I can see it in your eyes." After several minutes of silence, Zevran bent his head down and placed a kiss against her neck. However Riel pulled away slightly at his touch, causing him to sigh heavily. "Have I displeased you? Angered you in some way? Why do you shy away from me?"

"It's not you, Zevran…" Riel whispered, her eyes still on the fire in front of her.

"I have always vowed to never do what is against your will, yet since Redcliff you have avoided my touch. Even when I lean in to kiss you, you are hesitant and withdrawn. I will not force you, I only wish to know why. Do you wish to slow down with how intimate we are?" When Riel continued her silence, Zevran swallowed the lump of fear in his throat and continued on, his voice filled with sadness. "Or is it that you wish to end…."

"That's not it!" Riel cried suddenly, cutting him off. Tears began to fall down her cheeks even though she fought hard against them. "By the Creators, I am  _scared_ , Zevran…"

Zevran gently turned Riel in his arms so that she faced him. There he lightly swiped at the tears on her face with one hand while holding her with the other. "Please, speak to me, Riel. Tell me what has you so frightened."

Riel pulled his lips down hers, kissing him furiously. Confused at first, Zevran quickly returned the kiss, matching her passion with his own. Riel's hands entwined in his hair as she held him tightly against her, her tongue clashing against his in a desperate fury. She then pulled away sharply, breathless and crying.

"This is  _why_ …" she whispered, holding up her glowing hand for him to see. An electric blue light sizzled around her fingertips as she looked up at him, her gaze a mixture of fear and regret. "I can't control it, Zevran. Just a little emotion… A little frustration…." Her eyes drifted to his lips as she continued. "A little kiss…."

"I am not afraid of your magic,  _mi bella_ ," he replied, trying to soothe her.

"But  _ **I**_  am. Of what I might do. I don't want to hurt you."

"Riel, before when-"

"This  _isn't_  like before. Not the fire that I shared with you. This is something else. I can  _feel_  it. And I  _ **can't**_  control it." Zevran reached up with his hand and took hold of hers, even as it sparked with power at his touch. "Zevran, wait-!" she protested, yet he refused to let her go.

"I am  _not_  afraid of your magic. Do you wish to know why? Because it is as much a part of you as everything else is. As the soft skin of your body. As the powerful beat of your heart. As your mesmerizing and utterly gorgeous silver eyes. As your smile, and your laugh, and the tears that you cry," Zevran stated softly, using their combined hands to dot at the tears on her cheeks. "It may not be the same as the strange yet beautiful fire that you so graciously shared with me, but it is still as much a part of you. And I will not abandon you to it. I will not leave you to deal with this new struggle on your own."

"What if I hurt you, though?" she cried softly, looking up at him with tearful eyes.

Zevran gathered Riel tightly in his arms, letting her head fall against his chest as he held her to him. "We will deal with each new day as it comes, as we always have,  _mi bella_. I will not push you, and we will go as slow as you need to. To just have you here in my arms fills me with more happiness than you could ever know."

"I'm sorry, Zevran…"

"There is nothing to apologize for,  _mi bella_. You are the woman that I love."

"You should be with someone who isn't like this though…" she replied with a hard sigh. "Sometimes I think that I am just  _too_  messed up. With my past, and this Taint and now  _this_..." Riel held up her their joined hands, the light of magic still swirling around their entwined fingers. "I'm  _cursed_ …."

Zevran lifted her face up to meet his. "You are not cursed,  _mi bella_. You have been given more than your share of struggles, but remember that you are never alone in them. Not anymore. You are more than just the woman that I love, you are  _mi_   _corazón y el alma_. My heart and soul. And no matter what struggle you face, I will not abandon you to it."

"What if I hurt you? Or someone else?"

Sighing, Zevran searched his thoughts for a way to ease her. "Come with me back to our tent,  _mi bella_. Let me show you what words cannot." Zevran then stood and held out his hand to her, his eyes beckoning her to trust him.

Hesitantly Riel reached out for him, and allowed herself to be pulled up. In silence, she followed him back towards their tent, pushed back against the furthest wall of the cave. It was the best that he could offer her in the way of privacy, and Riel was grateful for his small efforts. Travelling among the others constantly provided little opportunity for privacy, and for a woman such as Riel who thrived on her solitude, to be allowed even a meager amount of privacy was something to be appreciative of.

Zevran guided her inside of the tent, then gently sat her down to the bedrolls below. "Let me care for you, my precious Warden," he purred as he settled in next to her. Deftly his hands went to the buckles holding Riel's armor to her, undoing each with swift precision until all she wore was the new cotton tunic that Leliana had also gotten for her before leaving Redcliff.

Once her armor was laying in a neat pile off to the side, Zevran quickly did the same to his own, placing his leathers beside hers. He then returned his focus to Riel, his hands gently gliding up her arms in a light caress. Riel felt her breath hitch in her chest at his touch, her eyes closing as she instinctively leaned in closer to him. She then felt soft feather like kisses along her neck and shoulder, each one sending a jolt of electricity through her body and down to her hands.

"Wait… Zevran…-" she whimpered, fear beginning to edge its way through her mind.

"Do you trust me,  _mi bella_?" he whispered back to her, his breath hot against her skin.

"With everything," she whispered back even as sparks of energy could be felt building in the air surrounding them.

"Then allow me to love you.  _All_  of you. Even this." Zevran took her hand in his, ignoring the small bites of electricity he felt as he held it.

With gentle pressure Zevran then massaged her hand, starting from her fingers then to her palm. The magic that sparked free wrapped around his hands, yet he ignored the small bits of pain he felt and instead focused purely on her own pleasure. Slowly the blue light that marked her magic eased, becoming just a slight glow that could barely be seen in the small light from the fire beyond the tent. Zevran then switched to her other hand, repeating his motions to a similar effect.

Once finished with her hands, Zevran then moved up her arm, massaging and gently caressing her muscles and skin in a soft and slow motion. After repeating the soothing massage on her on other arm, Zevran moved down to her legs and began to knead and caress her thigh and calves with his powerful hands. From up near her hips, down to her toes, he worked her flesh in gently pull and circles, easing out every tension she carried there.

When both of Riel's legs felt as weak as pudding, Zevran brought his hands up to the hem of her tunic. Carefully he lifted the fabric over head, then placed it to the side. Now on in her small clothes, Riel felt her a strand of fear begin to swirl inside of her stomach. Not since their first intimate moments had she felt this apprehensive, yet Zevran remained as calm as sure as he always was.

Needing to feel the comfort of his skin against hers, Riel reached for his own tunic. Her fingers pulled at the hem, her eyes lifting to his in a silent plea. WIth a sly smile on his face, Zevran granted her unspoken desire, quickly removing the tunic from his upper body. Barechested now, Riel let her eyes wander over him, delighting in the swirls of his tattoos. She loved how the dark marks flowed over his chest, even though she always feared the pain that he must have endured to attain them. Still, they were gorgeous against his bronzed skin, and she loved running her hands over them.

"Turn for me,  _mi bella_ ," he lightly whispered to her, guiding her with his hands for her to turn around. With her back to him, Zevran began to gently massage her shoulders and neck. His fingers seeking out and rubbing the tense spots cause by fighting and worry, bringing out a low moan of pleasure from Riel's lips. "You carry too much on your shoulders,  _mi amor_. You are always so strong… Carrying everyone's burden…" he murmured before placing several soft kisses against the back of her shoulders.

Riel was a confusing mixture of relaxed bliss, sexually enticed, and fearful apprehension all at the same time as she felt his hands and lips on her skin. The combating feelings swirling and fighting for dominance in both her mind and body as he gently massaged her. She could feel the swell of her magic rising, then receding; pushing and pulling almost in tune with his own motions against her flesh.

"Zevran…" she murmured softly, her eyes shut against the cascading emotions inside of her.

"You are safe,  _mi bella_ ," he whispered in response, his breath tickling against the curve of her neck.

"And you?" she whispered back, a lick of fear in her voice despite the relaxed state he was putting her in.

"I am with you. There is no where else that I would rather be," he purred in response.

Riel didn't know whether to take his answer as an avoidance of her question, or an affirmation of it. Anxiety began to rear in her mind once more, bringing with it the snapping sparks of magic that fueled the air around them with energy.

Suddenly Zevran was there, kissing her deeply as his hands wound themselves in her dark hair. Riel's mind went blank as she returned the passionate kiss, her body turning until her chest pressed against his. Madly he kissed her, wiping away everything but the feel of his skin on hers. Riel's hands moved over his body, trailing by memory the swirls of his tattoos as they ran over his chest and back. Lower they caressed, reaching down past his chest to his abdomen, and further still to the trousers that he still wore.

Riel's fingers began pulling at the ties that bound the fabric together, yet Zevran gently took her hands in his, stopping her. " _Mi bella_ …" he murmured against her lips. "You need not worry about that. This is about me easing you."

A sharp crackle of magic sparked through the air at the same time a pain of panic rushed through Riel. The power of the unrestrained magic took on the form of a force of lightning, spiking from Riel's hands and into Zevran's. Riel tried to pull away even as he hissed in pain as the magic entered him, however still Zevran held on to her.

"Zevran!" she exclaimed in panic, tears forming at her eyes.

Again she tried to pull away, yet Zevran refused to let go of her hands. Fear and panic rose even higher inside of her, causing another release of magic coming forth from her hands and straight into Zevran. This time he remained quiet, yet it was obvious that he was in pain due to the magic she released.

"Zevran!  _Let go of me_!" she pleaded, her cheeks wet from the fat tears that ran down them.

" **Never** …" he groaned through gritted teeth, another spark going through him. His honeyed eyes flashed with raw determination and love as he looked at her. With a grunt Zevran pulled Riel to him, placing her body flush against his own. "I won't leave you," he stated through heavy breaths. "Tell me to release your hands once more, and I will, however I  **won't**  let you go."

Riel openly sobbed against his chest as he held on to her, his hold on her hands gentle yet firm. Yet she didn't try to get away again. Instead she melded her body to his, pressing just as tightly to him as he was to her. With each deep racking sob that left her lips, another spark of energy left her fingers and went into Zevran, yet still he held on to her despite it.

"Why?" she pleaded when she was finally able to take a breath.

"Because I love you. And I won't abandon you, no matter what," he whispered hoarsely. After a quiet moment, he continued, his voice a mixture of sadness and regret. "I do not hold you to bind you, Riel, but because  _ **I**_  am the one bound to you. No matter the struggle you face, I cannot leave you to face it alone."

"I'm hurting you, though…."

Zevran used their combined hands to lift her face up to his. "It would hurt me more for you to suffer alone," he replied softly. "Besides, a little pain can add such interesting dynamics to love making. Or at least, so I am told," he added with a wink.

Riel didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so she did both. "Zevran…?" she whispered after a moment.

"Yes,  _mi bella_?"

"Let go of my hands.  _Please_."

Zevran's eyes flicked a moment of fear before he quickly hid it by bringing each of her hands up to lips and placing soft kisses on each. He then let each of her hands go, his regret a tangible emotion reaching out to her even though his eyes didn't meet hers. Instead Zevran closed his eyes, his own turmoil snaking through him even though he refused to show it openly.

He had wanted to ease her - to allow to her to relax in his arms while he massaged away her anxiety and fears. His caresses hadn't about seducing her, even though he couldn't deny how much he wanted her during it. Which is why he removed her hands when he did. She already feared her control over her magic. She didn't need the added worry of what would happen if he succeeded in seducing her. And yet when Zevran felt her anxiety build quickly while he massaged her, he did the only thing he could think of to bring her mind away from it.

He kissed her. Not to entice her to sleep with him. Only to distract her mind away from the anxiety he could see and feel building inside of her. However, his plan backfired when she reached for the strings at his waist. It wasn't that he didn't want her - by the gods above how he craved her! That was entirely the problem though. However, instead of pulling her away from the anxiety that she was feeling, he pushed her right into it by refusing her. And then to further compound his failure by not letting her go when she begged him to….

"When you asked for me to release you..." Zevran began, his voice thick with emotion. Still his eyes remained closed even as he spoke, not wanting to see the hurt that he caused her. "When I refused…. What I meant was,-"

"Zevran, look at me." Riel's voice was firm, yet it held no malice or anger in it. Just a gentle command that reached past his inner anguish and down to his heart. When his honeyed gaze lifted to hers, Zevran's chest constricted at the amount of love he witnessed in her eyes as she looked at him. "Thank you."

"I don't understand…."

"For not leaving me," she whispered back, a shy smile on her lips.

"As I said, I will not abandon you,  _mi bella_. I can no longer leave you as one could leave their beating heart behind. For that is what you are to me."

Riel smiled, not knowing what to say. Far too often his words and compassion left her speechless, even when she felt as if there was such much she needed to say. However, the words never seemed to come out the way that she wanted them to. Sighing, she placed her hand on his cheek, wishing she had his way with words. He always knew what to say to her, while she often had trouble expressing even the simplest of things. His own hand came up to lightly covers her as they gazed at each other in the quiet stillness of the night.

However, it was then that Riel noticed the burn marks on Zevran's hand.

"Zevran! Your hand!" she exclaimed, taking his hand into hers. Along the palm were deep red marks where it was already blistering, as well as dark lines where the skin was quite literally burned. Quickly Riel reached for his other hand, gasping as she found the same type of wounds there as well. "What have I done….?" she began to weep.

"Shh…. It is nothing a potion will not fix. If not, perhaps if I beg nicely to Wynne she will be kind enough to heal them. As long as I do not mention her bosom, perhaps," he said with a pained smile. Still, even as Riel examined his hands, he made no real signs of the pain she knew he must be in.

"Oh Zevran…. How can you joke about this? The pain you must be in…"

"It is nothing. Not compared to making sure that you are well," he replied, the back of one of his hands coming up to gently rub against Riel's cheek.

Riel couldn't believe how calm he was considering how painful both his hands looked. It both amazed and shamed her, knowing that she had this to him. This was exactly what she had feared. Losing control of her magic and having it hurt someone she cared about, especially him. He had given so much to her - through his kindness and gentle love, Riel was finally beginning to think she could heal the inner wounds of her past. Now for this to happen…. All because of her magic!

" _Ir abelas, emma lath_ ," she cried, burying her face against his hands.

" _Mi bella_ , please… Do not cry. It will heal. It will-" Zevran paused as he felt the pain in his palm decrease, the stabbing burn being replaced by a gentle warmth.

With her eyes closed, Riel didn't notice the glow that began to shine forth from her hands and over Zevran's palms that she cradled to her face. Her mind was too focused on her prayers to Mythal, begging the ancient Elvhen goddess the power to heal her lover. Even when the glow erupted into soft flames and spread over Riel's arms and up over the rest of her body, still Riel kept her face bowed and her eyes closed, reciting the prayer for aid over and over again.

Zevran felt the change immediately. The pain in his palms dimmed and finally eased away completely. The tight, cracked skin where the burn was worst was now flexible again, and the blisters were also now gone. Even the aches in the rest of his body that the electrical charges had caused disappeared as the flames that came from Riel spread over him as well.

"Riel, open your eyes. Please. Look," he pleaded gently with her. To help show his point, Zevran cupped both sides of Riel's cheeks and raised her face to his.

Riel slowly opened her tear stained eyes to see Zevran nearly alight in flames. Horror filled her, fearful of that she had somehow lost control of her magic again and this time instead of electricity, she was burning him to death.

"Zevran! Creators,  _ **no**_ **!** " she screamed out, her hands going to try and put out the flames she saw crawling up his bare arms and chest. Yet no matter how hard she tried to pat away the flames, still they remained, and even continued to spread out to cover his body. Riel was hysterical, crying out huge sobs even though Zevran tried to calm her. Her only thought was that she was somehow killing him with her magic, despite how badly she was trying to save him.

"Riel! Riel! Listen to me! It's alright! Calm yourself!" Zevran called out to her, trying to reach for her while she tried to pat down his skin. Frustrated and worried that she may end up harming herself if he didn't stop her, Zevran took hold of Riel by her waist and carefully lowered her down to the bedrolls below. He then positioned himself overtop of her, placing his face right next to hers. "Feel me, Riel! Feel my body next to yours and know that everything is alright!"

The hysterical fear that gripped Riel broke as she looked up at him, his face stern yet loving. His powerful and well muscled body was sure and solid against hers, acting as an anchor and pulling her back from the edges of her fear driven insanity. Still the gentle fire that came from Riel's body stretched over them both, glowing a soft light that illuminated the space between them.

"Zevran….?" Riel whispered, fear still cutting through her voice.

Zevran gently pushed her hair free from her face and smiled down at her. "Everything is well,  _mi bella_. Look for yourself," he offered, raising his palm so she could see it. "You have healed me. As you did before. The fire you see is not one that hurts, but the one that heals."

Riel wrapped her arms around Zevran's neck and pulled him down to her, hugging him tightly. "Oh Zevran! I am so sorry!  _Ir abelas!_ "

"It is alright,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran replied with a soft chuckle. "I told you. All is well. Although, I must admit that I never thought falling in love with someone who wields magic would be quite so interesting…"

"You are horrible for laughing about this…." Riel replied with a light bitterness. "I could have killed you!"

Zevran lifted himself up slightly so he could look upon her. " _Mi bella_ , you take my breath away every time you smile at me. You bring me to my knees every time you tell me that you love me. And you make my heart stop every time you make love to me. If I am to die, I will die a very happy man, knowing that I have you in my life."

Zevran then leaned down and took hold of her mouth with his own, kissing her deeply. With his body over hers and her emotions already so scattered to the winds, Riel just let herself lose herself to him and the feelings that he evoked inside of her. Feelings after all were complicated. They meant more than she could ever understand, let alone explain. They brought forth the crushing weights of anxiety and panic, or they brought forth great waves of pleasure and love. And most all of them seemed to revolve around this one singular man.

A man who had come to mean to very much to her, in so little time.

Riel let her hands wander over Zevran's back, loving the way his muscles flexed and corded under her touch. Every dip and scar of his skin she was beginning to know as intimately as her own, with each new addition from their fighting getting special attention from her. And he did the same with her. His hands knowing every groove of her flesh, where each mark lay and having kissed every scar that marred her soft skin.

" _Perdóname, pero quiero hacer el amor a usted_ ," Zevran purred against her lips. He knew that he shouldn't, yet she felt too good underneath him. The way her body pressed into his, with her hands running along his back was a temptation that clawed deeply at his mind and soul.

"I don't understand…" she whispered back to him.

Zevran chuckled softly, forgetting again for a moment how little she actually knew of his his home language of Antivan. Thankfully, he had also learned quite a bit of Elvhen in his troubles. " _Ir abelas, ar nuvenin tu'lathne_ ," he repeated for her. To emphasize his point, he pushed his hips against her core, allowing her to feel the hard length there that yearned for her.

"I thought that you didn't want to…" she whispered shyly, remembering briefly the panic that had set off her magic earlier.

Zevran looked down at the beautiful woman beneath him, her silver eyes shining with sadness and regret. "When I stopped you earlier, I only did so because I did not want you to feel pressured. I wished for you to relax and enjoy yourself, not feel compelled to return my affections for you." Zevran lowered his head down to Riel's neck and left a long trail of kisses from her collarbone to her jaw. "You should know by now that I  _always_  desire you,  _mi amor_. The only thing ever holding me back is your own feelings and well being," he purred seductively into her ear.

"What if my magic gets loose again?" she asked, even as her eyes closed and her body began to roll against his.

"Then I guess we shall just have to think of a way to make me feel better again, won't we?" Zevran answered back in a playful purr before lightly biting at her jaw.

"Zevran… I-" she began, a lick of fear again entering her mind.

"Do not worry,  _mi bella_ …" Zevran chuckled lightly. Carefully he moved to her side, pulling her tightly against him. "You have been through much today. I think maybe it would be best to simply just hold you for the rest of the night. Perhaps if you are well tomorrow evening, I will more than gladly show you the depths of desire that I have for you."

Riel turned her body into his, resting her head against his chest. "I feel like I am disappointing you…" she whispered sadly.

Zevran gently pulled her chin up so her eyes met his. "You could  _never_  disappoint me,  _mi bella_. Now rest. It is already late, and I know that a certain leader of ours will be wishing to continue our journey towards the Dalish in the morning."

"This leader of ours sounds harsh. Making you travel so much," Riel teased.

"Oh she is a very fierce leader. Strong, capable, and amazingly beautiful. She is true goddess of battle. And I hear she has a rather handsome elf for a lover, as well."

Riel laughed as she again settled herself against him. "This elven lover sounds interesting. Just how handsome are we talking about here?"

"Oh I am sure he would say that he was handsome enough. Being a ruggedly good looking rogue assassin, he has endured the affections of others over the years. However, none of those in his past could ever compare to the goddess that he now holds in his arms."

"Goddess huh?" Riel scoffed playfully.

"Oh indeed. One to rival even that of Andraste herself if the truth were to be told. For not even the Maker's bride could match her in his eyes. Her beauty, her strength, her kindness and compassion…"

"Sounds like this elven lover loves her a lot," she mused, smiling.

Zevran leaned his head down and kissed her forehead. "More than she'll ever know. Now rest  _mi bella_. And dream of all the delightful and naughty things that I will do to you in many years ahead of us. I know I will."

" _Ar lath ma,_ Zevran," Riel whispered against his chest.

" _Ar lath ma'en, ma vhenan_ ," he whispered back to her.


	52. The Dalish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Da'len: Elvhen. "Little child, or little one."
> 
> Dirthara'in ne'vhenan: Elvhen. "Truth dwells in your heart."
> 
> Dareth'in lath'in: Elvhen. "Safety dwells within your love."
> 
> Ma nuvenin, ma'vhenan: Elvhen. "As you wish, my heart."
> 
> Mi amiga: Antivan. "My friend."
> 
> Banal'ras Din'an'shiral: Elven. Translates to "shadow death journey." What this clan of Dalish call the Grey Wardens.

The destruction and withering of the once beautiful rolling hills of the Hinterlands gave way to the thickly forested trees of the Brecilian Forest. Almost immediately after reaching the dense wooded area, Riel felt a shift inside of herself. For her, these woods represented the time she had spent amongst her clan. While it was true that her clan, like all Dalish clans, were wanders who travelled the land and never stayed long in any area, these woods here were always Riel's favorite. To her, these forests were her home. And for each the three years that she lived with them, Riel always looked forward to when they would return here every spring.

The forests themselves were massive, taking up almost the whole south eastern corner of Ferelden. Reaching from just south of Denerim all the way down to the Korcari Wilds, and from the southern hills in the west to the Amaranthine ocean in the east. Keeper Marethari had once told Riel that these wooded lands were as old as Arlathan itself, the place where the Elvhen peoples once came from from back before humans ever came to Thedas.

"How are we to ever find the Dalish here? These forests are massive!" Leliana asked as they made their way carefully through the trees.

"The Keeper of my clan kept records of where each clan would roughly be throughout the year. It helped keep us in contact with the others, for either trading or visiting. Over the few years that I stayed with her, she taught me how to read the maps and the records that she kept. While they didn't have exact locations, they would still describe which clans kept to which areas and travel routes. And from what I remember, there should be a clan not far from where we are now."

"Do you think they will even speak with us? The Dalish haven't been known to be most  _friendliest_  of people," Alistair stated with a scowl from beside Leliana.

Riel rolled her eyes and bit her tongue to keep from commenting.

Over the past few days, the two Wardens had reached an almost comfortable peace. Alistair had stopped trying to tell Riel what to do, and even seemed to making a real effort to be nice to her. It had helped that his focus now seemed directed at the red headed bard instead of her, decreasing the tension that had been such a constant between Alistair and herself. Alistair was even being almost civil with Zevran, as amazing as that was. However, this new line of behavior from the male Grey Warden still didn't keep him from saying the odd inflammatory or rude comment at times.

"From what I remember of the Dalish near my home of Antiva, they are a very cautious people. They will defend what they see as theirs, especially what they view as their territory. Somewhere we no doubt are, according to our incredibly lovely female Warden. If we do not find them, they will come to us. Of this, I have no doubt."

Riel looked over and smiled at Zevran, once more thankful for his presence. Since accidentally electrocuting him with her magic, things between them taken on a whole new level of complexity. Whereas Riel worried about hurting Zevran and as such shied away from intimacy, Zevran still remained his teasing, charming self. While he never pressured her, every night that they went back to their tent, Riel knew that he hoped for more. Yet the image of how badly she had burned him with her powers clung to her memory, haunting her dreams as well as her waking hours.

"It's amazing how so many elves can live out here, though," Alistair stated as he followed behind Riel and Zevran. "We've been travelling for only a few months, and already I miss having a regular bed and a hot bath. The Dalish live out here  _all_  of the time, though. Away from people and civilization."

"The Dalish  _are_  civilized, Alistair," Riel replied bitterly. "They just choose to not live in human cities."

"It isn't just humans in the cities though. There are elves and dwarves living in the cities too. Look at Denerim. Many non humans live alongside humans. In fact, I remember Eamon once talking about how inspired he was by the Denerim Alienage. I think maybe he was thinking of creating one for Redcliff."

"A slum to toss their unwanted day laborers and servants? Who wouldn't want that?" she mumbled bitterly to herself.

While her time in Denerim had been limited to where she wasn't able to see the closed off section of the city denoted the 'Alienage', she taught what they were by not just her clan, but by those who had escaped the hellish place to join with the Dalish. Pol, a former city elf, was a young man who had recently joined their clan after spending his whole life in Denerim's Alienage. Before Riel had been forced to leave with Duncan, she would sometimes hang back from the group fire at night and listen to the stories he told of his time there and what life was like for other elves in Thedas.

Outside of the Tevinter Imperium, slavery was technically illegal, but that only meant it required more gold to get what you wanted, and to keep those questioning silent. Even in the 'free cities' of Thedas, elves were still barely considered people by humans. The Alienages themselves were proof enough of that.

Elves did not 'live alongside' humans as Alistair liked to imagine. Forced to live in a walled off section of the city, the elves of Denerim were all poor and had to survive on what little pay the humans of the city paid for menial jobs such as servants or cleaners. It was barely a step above true slavery, as the women were often harassed by drunken human males who sought them for 'sport', and Creators help them if they actually needed protection. The guards would either turn a blind eye to their suffering, or actively participate in the horrors inflicted on the people there.

Pol's own cousin was forced upon by a guardsman, and when she found she was with child from it, took her own life rather than face the consequences of baring her rapist's child. When her family tried to get justice for the girl, they were laughed off, the girl's father beaten for daring to accuse the 'fine upstanding city guard' of such a heinous act. The sad truth was that such treatment was common for elves living in Alienages across all of Thedas, not just there in Ferelden. Few elves ever lived outside of the slums and poverty of the Alienages, and those who did lived as servants or cooks in their master's houses. Those were the  _lucky_  ones.

In other places like Tevinter, elves were bartered and sold as actual slaves. And while it was a true a powerful elf mage could rise up the ranks and become a person of power and note, most elves were little more than disposable sacks of flesh to those who owned them. Even other elves held slaves, treating their own people worse than one would treat a dog.

No, life in the city was not not more  _preferable_  to living out here in the wild. Here, Riel's people may have to hunt to survive and constantly travel, but they were at least  _free_. The humans did not raid their camps at night and steal away young women, forcing them to do foul deeds before finally returning them the next day, disheveled and crying. They did not take young men and force them to perform hard labor for long hours everyday, paying a pittance of coin while telling them that they should be 'grateful'. And Alistair's occasional remarks about how wonderful these city Alienages were were a very painful thorn in Riel's side every time he brought it up. Which thankfully wasn't all that often, or else she might have gutted the idiot herself by now.

"I wish for a place where all people could live together, no matter their race or where they hail from. Not sectioned off areas like Alienages, but true equality. Where my elven neighbor would have just as much protections and chances as I do," Leliana stated in her usual joyful and happy tone.

"Ha! Good luck with that!" Alistair scoffed. "The nobles would lose their minds. Imagine, not only having to share their space with the lower classes of humans, but of other races! Although seeing their faces would probably be worth it alone. I doubt the elves would even agree to it if they were given the chance. though. They like their whole 'community' thing that they have, from what I hear."

Riel turned on her heel and was nearly run over by Alistair, forcing him to stop abruptly or else knock her down. "You think they  _enjoy_  living in the Alienages, Alistair? That they like living the way they do, forced into poverty and near slavery?" Riel was fuming as she confronted him. Even the finger she angrily pointed in his face showed her temper, as a deep swirl of magic gathered around her hands, threatening to break free with a storm of power and energy.

" _Mi bella_ , please, this is not-"

"Well, maybe not  _all_  of them like living there," Alistair stated, ignoring Zevran's attempt to speak. "And I would hardly call the elves in the Alienages  _slaves_ , Riel. The ones who work get paid for what they do."

"What do you mean,  _the ones who work_?" she spat back.

"Well not all of them do! Many elves are criminals, hiding out in the Alienages among other elves. And if they live in poverty, maybe more of them should seek out work, instead of stealing the coin of hardworking people!"

"Hard working  _humans_ , you mean, don't you? Because of  _course_  an elf can't be hard working, right?"

"I never said that! The criminals of the Alienages steal just as much from elves as they do from the humans and dwarves! They just are more tolerated in amongst their own people for some reason, instead of handing them over to the guards!"

"The guards would kill them for stealing a loaf of bread to feed their family! Or rape their sisters or mothers as payment!"

"They would not! The men and women of the guard are good people! And if they were in such trouble as to needing to steal food, perhaps they should have found a proper job instead! At the very least, to seek out the Chantry! They help out all people there, feeding and helping the poor, whether they are human or elf."

"The  _guard_  you speak so proudly of are rapists and murderers, while you precious Chantry sits back and let it all happen! And who is going to give good work to an elf, Alistair? Your nobles, who even you admitted to despising having to spend their time around elves? Or the normal workers who pay my people as little they can, just to make sure they get a larger profit for themselves while the elves the exploit break their backs working for them?"

"Riel, I think it's best-"

"Alistair, this is not the time-"

Both Zevran and Leliana spoke at once, trying to settle the two Grey Warden's down, yet were both completely ignored by the growing shouting that drowned out their pleadings.

"The elves are not exploited if they refuse to work! There is always something to be found, as you yourself know damn well! Just how much coin have we gathered helping people out and doing odd jobs for them?"

"Payments because I'm a Warden! Believe me, if I came to them as just an elven woman, I would probably be spit on rather than be paid for whatever hard or  _disgusting_  job I did for them," Riel sneered, looking up and down over Alistair's body. "By the Void, I'd be lucky to even make a copper, rather than have him just take what he wanted from me as all human males do!"

"So now all human men are rapists now? Why? Because of what you went through? Well believe it or not, Riel, but  _ **not**_  all men are like that. Although I doubt you would know that consider how quickly you spread your-"

Alistair went flying backwards a good twenty yards before landing with a deafening crash against a thick cropping of trees. The air surrounding where he had been standing was thick with unspent magical power, sparking in a swell of energy that swirled around Riel in a deadly wave. With her breath coming in quick and short inhales, her whole body shimmered with so much power that it was hard to even focus your eyes on her. The worst of all was her eyes, however. The silver irises no longer shining with humor or even her quiet stoicism that she usually held around the others, they burned with iron grey fury.

"Alistair!" Leliana called out, running over to where he lay unmoving, joined immediately by Wynne.

The rest of their companions remained silent and still, looking at Riel as if a demon had suddenly taken her place. And perhaps it had. For Riel had  _ **never**_  felt so angry before in her life. Intense rage roared through her blood as her eyes remained focused on the collapsed ex-Templar in the distance, her body heaving in great breaths. The only who dared to approach her did so cautiously, his hands out to the side as he moved slowly towards her.

" _Mi bella_ …. Everything is alright now," Zevran stated carefully as she stepped closer to her. "He is away from you, and cannot hurt you. However, if you would permit me, I would very much like you to hold you…."

"I am  **not**  some  _ **whore**_ **!** " Riel raged, her whole body seething.

"Of course you are not. I ask only to hold you. Nothing else. I swear this to you."

Riel focused her burning eyes on Zevran, her beautiful features twisted into bitter rage. "I  _know_  what you want! I  _ **know**_  what you  **all**  want! It's the same! It's  _always_  the same!" Riel's eyes flickered into a softness for a moment as she looked upon Zevran. "You say pretty words, and have nice smiles, but I know what is beyond them!" Tears now formed at the edges of her eyes as her voice broke, her previous rage spent and spiraling into a deep sorrow. "I try so  _hard_! I've  _always_  tried! Tried to be good! Tried to be quiet so they would forget! Forget about me and leave me alone for another day." Her eyes hardened again, a shadow of her fury returning as she continued on through gritted teeth. "They  _ **always**_  came back, though. No matter how  _good_  I was or how  _quiet_  I was. Or how much I  **begged**  and  _pleaded_  for them to stop! They  _ **always**_  came  **back!** "

"They are gone now,  _mi bella_. You killed one, and I made sure that the other suffered greatly before he died. They cannot hurt you anymore. And I  _swear_  to you, no one will  **ever**  hurt you like that again."

Slowly his words managed to break through Riel's fury and memories, his softly accented voice calling out to her. Riel's expression of hatred and pain wavered, a small glimmer of recognition shining in her eyes as she looked upon him.

"Z-Zevran?" she asked, her voice quaking with raw emotion.

"It is I,  _mi bella_. Your ever devoted follower, Zevran…" Zevran took another step towards her, yet Riel immediately pulled one of her daggers free from its sheath and pointed it at him. "Easy,  _mi bella_ …. I will  _never_  hurt you…." he crooned gently to her.

"No…." she shook her head. "But I could hurt  _you…_ " she sobbed, before bringing the blade up to her own throat.

"Riel! Wait!" Zevran called out, taking a few steps towards her. Yet Riel backed away, keeping the blade at her throat.

"Don't come any closer!" she screamed. "I can  _feel_  them calling out to me. Their voices are so loud right now! The  _rage_. The  _anger_. The  _pride_. They want me. I know they do. But I can't let them, don't you  _see_? I  _can't_  let them. Because then I'll be gone, and they'll be here, and they'll  _hurt_  you."

"Riel, listen to me. They cannot take you. The demons can whisper and demand all they want. However, they can  _never_  take you."

Riel wanted to believe him. She wanted to be safe again, hidden away from the demons where they couldn't find her and whisper to her. However, their voices were just too strong in her head. Their promises too powerful. The power they said they would give her. The abilities to hunt down every human who had ever hurt an elf like her. The strength to not just topple the Archdemon, but to destroy all the Darkspawn so never again would the Blight return to wreck havoc on the world. All these things and more the voices whispered to her. Promising her their power, for just the chance to come through. To be let in by her, so they could see the world through her eyes.

And as much as Riel knew their promises to be lies…. As much as she knew their world to be hollow and the only thing they would grant her was death before destroying everything she ever cared for…. As much as she knew all of that, their enticing words still rang in her ears and pulled at her weaknesses.

"Riel, look at me…" the Antivan voice echoed in her mind, bringing Riel's eyes back to a pair of honeyed gaze that she knew so well. His smiling features beaconing her, his sweet voice silencing the whispering that ate at her mind. He was just a few feet from her, yet his voice seemed to come from right next to her. From inside of her very mind. "They cannot take you. For you not belong to them, and you never will."

For a brief moment a light shined from behind his smiling face, the light taking the shape of a featureless woman. She too was smiling at her, although Riel wasn't sure how she knew such a thing. Yet like the warm eyes and and sweet voice of the man who spoke to her, this woman was familiar to Riel as well. The calm energy that the light gave off mixing with the loving look the man gave to her, pulling her out of the chaos that swirled in her mind.

_No matter their promises, they will never be able to claim you, da'len._

_For you are one of mine. And I protect my own._

The familiar words echoes in Riel's mind, mixing and twining with the sweetly accented words of the man who called out to her.

"I will never let them have you,  _mi bella_. I will  _always_  protect you."

"Zevran?" Riel whimpered, the blade at her throat falling down to the ground.

Zevran took the last few steps needed to reach her, yet he dared not touch her. Not yet. "I am here,  _mi bella_. And I'm not going anywhere. Please… Will you come to me? Will you allow me to hold you? I swear to you on everything I am, that is  **all**  I wish. Just to hold you and protect you.  _Please…_ "

 _Dirthara'in ne'vhenan….. Dareth'in lath'in…._ the familiar feminine voice spoke to her from inside her mind.

"I  _need_  you, Zevran…" Riel cried softly, slightly opening her arms out for Zevran.

Immediately Zevran pulled her against him, almost crushing her body to his own. A passing thought told him that perhaps he should be gentler with her, and he would be. Soon. Right now though, he needed to hold her tightly. To hear her breath in his ears, and to feel her heart against his chest. Quiet words whispered in Antivan reached Riel's ears as Zevran held her, prayers and statements of love that she recognized from how often he uttered them to her.

"Forgive me for not stopping him. And forgive me for when I kill him," Zevran murmured against her neck.

Despite herself Riel laughed. "Just take me away from here, Zevran. I don't care where. Just somewhere where it's quiet and away from others. I can't deal with others right now…."

" _Ma nuvenin, ma'vhenan_ …." he whispered to her. Zevran then scooped her up into his arms, carrying her weight easily against him.

However when he turned to take her away, he was greeted by a dozen arrows pointed at both of them, all being held by Dalish archers. Quickly Zevran scanned the area, finding most of their companions also similarly surrounded by archers and sword bearing elves. Of in the distance, Alistair was being carried away on a makeshift gurney, with Leliana walking by his side. For a moment her green eyes lifted to meet his, her expression full of regret and sadness. She then returned her attention to the ailing knight being carried by several of the elven warriors.

Zevran put Riel back down on her feet, then positioned her behind him. Keeping one hand on her, Zevran used his other to reach for one of his daggers, his eyes scanning the crowd that now confronted them. To fight so many would be suicide, yet perhaps he could distract them long enough for Riel to get away. He would die, but gods willing, she would live. It was the best he could ever hope for, especially given the numbers that stood before them.

"Hold! I wish to speak!" one of the Dalish hunters called out as she stepped forward from the crowd of archers. This one was blonde, holding a wooden staff as long as she was. "There is no need for bloodshed this day. If you are open, I come bearing no ill will."

"Forgive me,  _mi amiga,_ " Zevran bit back with a fake smile. "I must be confused by all the sharp and pointy things now aimed at us, then."

The Dalish woman nodded to the archers beside her and they lowered their bows, yet did not remove the arrows that were still notched. Ready to be fired, if no longer aimed directly at his heart. Perhaps that will have to do. At least until he knew the intent of these distant elven kin.

"Your woman. She is  _banal'ras din'an'shiral_." It was a statement, not a question. Yet Zevran wasn't completely sure he understood what the blond mage meant by her use of the old language. Even in all of his travels, he hadn't heard the term before. Still, he wasn't about to offer his Riel up to anyone, elf or not.

"The woman behind me is of no concern of yours, my friend. A servant who I hired. Let her go, and we will have no quarrel," Zevran offered instead.

" _Ir abelas_ ," the woman replied, shaking her head. "The Keeper wishes to speak with her. We were sent here for her and her kin, the shemlen male."

"I wasn't aware that elves could have a kinship with humans," Zevran replied, still keeping Riel behind him.

"You would call them Grey Wardens. And it is the evil inside of them that binds them as kin, not their blood."

At this Riel stepped around Zevran, confronting the woman herself. "How did you know we would be here?"

"Our Keeper dreamed of you. Said a power unlike he had ever felt was coming from west during the last days of our journey here. And that it would be carried by the blood of a  _banal'ras din'an'shiral_. It is what he calls your order."

Riel eyed the archers and warriors that surrounded both her and the others. "Quite the welcoming party for one you were expecting."

"We were…." the mage paused, looking to her clan. "We were not expecting you to be one of mage blood. Our Keeper felt the gathering of magic through the Beyond, and assumed perhaps a group of shemlen Templars had entered our forest."

 _She was lying_. Riel wasn't sure how she knew, but the woman in front of her was definitely keeping something from her.

"I saw the other Grey Warden being taken away. Is he…." Riel paused, a small spark of her previous anger coming back as she remembered what he had said to her. "Is he alright?"

"The male lives, but is gravely wounded. Your shemlen healer was tending to him when we arrived. The healer, your kin, and his woman are being taken to our camp where the male will be further tended to." The woman turned her head slightly and looked upon the rest of Riel's companions. "The others are free to come as well, however I ask that if you make camp, you do so here. You carry two mage's in your group. Added to our own, and it would surely be too many for passing Templars to refuse, should they be so inclined."

Riel again scanned her group of companions, noticing for the first time that Morrigan was not part of them. Which would explain why this woman only said there was two mages among them.

"Let me speak with my companions, decide who will stay behind, and then those of us who are coming will follow you back to you clan. Agreed?"

The woman bowed her head. "Agreed." She then nodded once more to the archers and warriors of her clan, and slowly the majority of them peeled away.

"I do not like this,  _mi bella_ ," Zevran whispered to her quietly.

"We came here searching for the Dalish to aid against the Blight. Whatever  _problems_  I may be having…-"

"Are more important," Zevran stated firmly.

Riel sighed heavily, covering her face with her hands. She felt exhausted, both mentally and physically. She had meant what she had said to Zevran earlier - she  _wasn't_  capable of dealing with people right now. However, it seemed as though fate had other plans, as it so often did.

She couldn't back away from this, however. Refusing an invitation from the Keeper would be considered incredibly rude, and would probably even endanger what little hope Riel had of recruiting the Dalish to join her army against the Blight. It wasn't as if she could search out another clan either. No others that she knew of were even remotely close by, and even if she and the others could travel and find them in time, this Keeper's clan would have already sent runners ahead telling them of how disrespectful Riel had been, guaranteeing no further help.

No, if Riel was to gain the aid of the Dalish against the Blight, then she had to go with them now and lay down whatever good will she could among them. Whatever her own problems were, they  _had_  to wait. She couldn't afford otherwise.

"Perhaps I can arrange only a  _short_  meeting with the Keeper. Say that my people need tending to." The image of Leliana's sad face came to her mind. "Creators, I need to see to Leliana…. And  _Alistair_ ," she groaned.

"And what of yourself? You need to see to  _your_  needs,  _mi bella_."

Riel looked up at Zevran and sighed deeply. "I'm…." she paused, trying to force not just the words past her lips, but to maybe even convince herself of it. "I'm  _fine_ , Zevran," she finally managed to say, offering him her best fake smile that she could manage.

"Riel, you are  **not**   _fine_ …" Zevran replied in frustration.

She looked up at him, her lips turned up in a sad smile. "Maybe. But I  _ **have**_  to be. And that is what matters. So please, just help me do one thing?"

"Anything,  _mi bella_ …."

"Help me to  _pretend_  that I am. Just until I can deal with their Keeper and escape back here to rest. I still  _need_  you, Zevran."

Zevran pulled her into a tight embrace, his mind in equal parts torn between the two. One wanting to simply just whisk her far away from all this right now. Take her somewhere so far away that they never even heard of Darkspawn and the Blight and Grey Wardens. Where she can finally be happy and free from all this. And the other part of him…. The part that he knew he would listen to instead, despite how badly he wanted to do otherwise….

"Oh course I will help you,  _mi bella_ ," he replied, a charming and sweet smile on his lips. Then an exaggerated flourish be bowed low to her, before straightening and offering her his arm. "It would be my pleasure to guide you to the Dalish camp to meet with their Keeper. Then, we are alone again," Zevran whispered, coming up close to her. Gently he cupped her cheek and looked down at her, a broad smile on his face even though his handsome honeyed eyes bleed with sad emotion. "I will tend to you as you so rightly deserve. Perhaps even ravish-..." he paused and winced, remembering her earlier words. "Sorry… I-"

"No…" she smiled falsely in return, her eyes misting. "No, that's good. Good…. And normal." Riel swallowed down her crying, and instead just forced herself to continue smiling. "Come, let's go tell the others of what is happening. It's not good to make the Keeper wait too long. Creators know my own Keeper love to scold anyone who kept her waiting too long. Even for her morning tea," Riel softly laughed.

Zevran gave her his best charming smile as he led her over towards the others. Although it killed him to see his Riel like this, he would do anything for her. Even pretend that he didn't wish to render a certain Templar's bones from his flesh, no matter how very deeply he craved too at that moment.

Once they are free of these Dalish though, and his Warden holds their promise of aid against the Blight, however….


	53. A New Task

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Aravals: Elven landships. Used for sleeping and storing their belongings.
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Dareth shiral: Elvhen. "Stay safe/safe journey."
> 
> Mi amiga bella: Antivan. "My beautiful friend."

 

Leliana paced back and forth outside of the elven landship that the Dalish called "aravals". Already it had been close to half an hour that Wynne and the clan's healer had been working on Alistair, and Leliana was growing more impatient with each minute that passed.

Part of her wanted to be angry with Riel for what happened to him. When Riel's magic had sent him flying, Leliana felt her heart fall into her stomach, and it has stayed there ever since. Lying in a heap at the base of several trees, Alistair had looked near death and was barely breathing when Leliana got to him. Wynne had immediately began weaving her healing magic on him, yet still Alistair remained unconscious.

Then suddenly there were Dalish everywhere, arrows and swords pointed directly at them. A woman with a staff came forward and told a couple of hunters to fashion together a field bed that they could place Alistair on and carry him back to their camp. Leliana's mind raced with questions, however the woman walked away before she could ask any. And the hunters who had their weapons still trained on Wynne and her didn't seem to be open to answering any of her questions. Instead their heated glares as they carefully watched the women's every movement told Leliana that if she wanted any of her questions answered, she would have to wait until later.

Leliana stopped in front of the araval's door, trying to listen for any sounds of conversation that was happening inside. However, all she got was silence, which she didn't know whether to take as a good thing or bad one. Sighing, she resumed her pacing, studiously ignoring the Dalish elves who lingered nearby, their weapons out yet not readied. Although Leliana had no doubt that given any small signal or notice, she would find quite a few arrows piercing her before she could even think to react.

"Please be okay, Alistair…" Leliana whispered to herself.

Leliana shook her head and cursed as she remembered the argument that had placed him in such a dire state. As much as she wanted to hate Riel for what happened, Leliana knew deep down that it wasn't her fault for what happened. Springing up from a misunderstanding, pride and extreme emotions on both of their sides had led them to where they now were. And Alistair…. Acted unfortunately like himself. Which caused Riel to react exactly the way she did, which considering what was said, Leliana really couldn't find it within herself to blame their leader for.

"Leliana?"

Leliana turned around at the soft sound of her name. Standing just in front of the araval's door was Wynne, the group's main healer. The old woman's face showed obvious signs of worry and fatigue, and her wrinkled hands were clasped tightly together in front of her.

"Is he-?" she asked, unable to form the words she dreaded so much.

"He's alive, thank the Maker. The bolt of electricity that had sent him flying travelled through his armor, burning his skin until it became attached to the metal that covered it. However, if it wasn't for his armor protecting him, he most likely would have broken his back beyond repair from crashing into those trees. Varela and I both did the best we could, now it is only a matter of time."

"Thank the Maker!" Leliana exclaimed, reaching forward and embracing the older mage. "And thank you as well Wynne! I wouldn't know what I would do if we lost him!"

Wynne returned her embrace, patting the woman lightly on the back. "It was close for a while, but he should recover. Although what comes after his recovery, that will be the true test."

Leliana pulled back and looked on Wynne sadly. "He doesn't mean what he says! I know him! He just gets flustered and says the wrongs things and-"

"Winds up crashing into a group of trees. Or inciting our resident assassin into a duel where it is miracle that Alistair didn't become paralysed because of it. And from what I hear, those aren't the only times that Alistair has ended up wounded because of his becoming ' _flustered'_ …."

"He really is a sweet, charming man. Alistair really isn't a bad man. He just…." Leliana stated with a heavy sigh.

"Oh I've known a few men like Alistair in my years. And not all of them Templars. In the Circle, we are forbidden from 'intimate encounters', even with the other mages. That doesn't stop them from happening however, and it certainly doesn't prevent people from having feelings for each other. And whenever there are feelings involved, people are bound to get hurt. Some more than others…"

"I should have stopped him… When they started arguing, I should have spoken up sooner," Leliana said sadly, her eyes misting.

"Now, there is no point in worrying about 'what ifs' and 'should have's'. What happened is over, and the only thing we can do is look to how heal the damage that was caused. And not just the physical wounds, either. I suspect Alistair isn't the only one in need of some healing right now."

"Riel…."

"Have you seen her since what happened?"

Leliana nodded her head, her eyes fixed to the ground. "I saw her and Zevran being led into the center of the camp a little while ago. She looked…  _awful…_ "

"And how are you?" Wynne asked carefully.

Leliana met the mage's gaze, surprise on her face. "I'm…. I'm fine," she replied, placing a smile on her lips. "I mean, I'm worried about Alistair, but we all are. And worried about Riel, too."

"You've become close to him over these past few days, haven't you?"

At that Leliana blushed, her eyes once more going to the ground. "We're… We're friends. We sometimes talk at night or when we camp somewhere for the day. We have both spent time within the Chantry, so I understand him a bit more than the others, I think."

A small moment of silence passed between the women, each measuring their words carefully. "Alistair reminds me of some of the Templars that I once knew," Wynne finally said, breaking the silence. "Good men, shaped by their environment during certain times in their lives, can either become even better than what they were, or they can become far worse than they ever imagined. And I think Alistair is in one of those times that will end up shaping the man who he becomes later in life. The only question now is, who will that be? Turning to anger and resentment is by far the easier choice. It is much harder to turn away from such negative emotions, and trust in the goodness that is not only within ourselves, but in others as well."

"I just feel as if I am betraying my friend by standing by him," admitted Leliana in a rush of words. "And yet it's what my heart says to do. Must I really choose between a woman who like my sister, and a man that I care for?"

"Anyone that asks you to make such a choice, doesn't deserve to be chosen, Leliana. And I think you know that."

"I know… And neither has said anything like that. I just…. Both of them are hurting right now, and I don't know where I should be."

"The paths the Maker chooses for us are never easy, child. However, the more difficult path that we travel, the greater reward that we will receive. We must simply trust in the Maker, and follow what our heart tells us."

"And what if our heart is being torn in two different directions?" Leliana asked as she wiped at the tears forming in her eyes.

"That child, is one of the mysteries that even in my old age, I haven't figured out yet," Wynne replied with a soft giggle. Sobering, she placed a hand on Leliana's shoulder. "Go see him. Sit by his side and hold his hand. Right now, Riel has things she must do as the leader of this group. And she isn't alone either. Zevran is with her, and won't leave her alone. Later, when Riel has finished her business with the Keeper, you can go see her. Just remember what you told me - she is  _hurting_  right now. Just as you are. And words said when we hurt, often cut the deepest."

Leliana smiled at the older woman, tears falling down her cheeks even as she wiped them away. "Thank you Wynne!" she exclaimed, hugging the woman briefly before approaching the door to the araval. She stopped before entering however, turning back towards Wynne. "If she comes looking for me,-"

"I will tell her what I told you. That the Maker has plans for us all, even the stubborn, foolhardy, and verbally inept of us. However, I think I will have a much harder time with her elven suitor than I will have with her. I think that it would probably be best if we were to keep the young Alistair away from not just Riel for the time being, but also some distance away from the elven assassin as well."

"That is probably a  _very_  good idea…" Leliana replied with a sigh. "By the Maker…. What are we going to do about them?"

"Pray, child. For I think at this point, the only thing that is going to save our dear ex-Templar from a pair of poisoned blades would be divine intervention itself."

Leliana nodded grimly as a thick knot of worry settled in her chest. After all, if it had been anyone other than Alistair saying the words he did to Riel, would she react any differently than Zevran? As it was, a large part of her was still incredibly angry with Alistair. To say the words he did to Riel…. It was inexcusable. However, she also understood Alistair in a way that the others did not. And while his words couldn't be excused, they could be understood. Something Leliana hoped she could explain to Riel before Zevran made good on whatever dire plans he had for Alistair.

Maybe if they just  _understood_  him a bit better, and he  _understood_  Riel and her troubles….

Leliana sighed and pushed open the small wooden door that led inside the araval.

_Maker, guide me. And please help me make them all understand…. And alive._

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"As you can see, we are in no position to lend you our aid, Warden," Zathrian stated as he guided them through the small Dalish camp. "Many of our people are wounded, and time will tell if we lose them to the curse as well. Even if they do survive the wounds and do not turn, we must still with the ones who did this to us. I believe you that the Blight is upon us, however the people of my clan come first. I hope you can understand."

Riel looked over at the wounded elves lying on the cots nearby, her heart aching for them. Several of them were women, and at least one boy barely old enough to hold a bow laid writhing in pain as others tended to them. Deep gashes showed on their skin, even with the healing herbs and magic that was being applied to them. The curse the Keeper Zathrian spoke of apparently prevented the wounds from healing properly, causing either death after prolonged pain or transformation into the very cursed beasts that did this to them.

"Werewolves did this, you said?" she asked, her heart heavy with grief for those who suffered.

"As you may know, demons can possess a great many living things. Where the Veil between this world and the Beyond is thin, these demons can cross over and possess both animals and sentient species alike. In this case, one has found refuge in the body of wolf, and it is from him that all others come from."

"However, if we were to kill this wolf, your people would be saved.  _No_?" Zevran asked from beside Riel.

He hadn't left her side since what happened earlier, and with each minute that ticked by he witnessed his precious Warden's careful control erode away. What this Keeper wanted from them was obvious, and the longer Zathrian drew out his condition for aid, the more Riel had to suffer under the stares and whispers of the Dalish around them. Which of course reduced Zevran's own patience and self control as well.

"It is not a trivial task. If it were, my people would have done so years ago. We call the beast Witherfang, and it hides deep within the Brecilian forests, protected it seems by the very forest itself. Long have my people hunted it, yet still it lives to cause havoc and death to us."

"If you've known about the beast and other werewolves for so long, how did so many of your people get injured?" asked Riel.

"As unlikely as this seems, we were ambushed," Zathrian replied contritely. "A cunning trap was laid that we were not expecting, which is why so many of us were injured. You see, werewolves are typically not so different from the normal wolves that you see in the wild. Mindless, acting purely on instinct and savagery. So too are the werewolves spawned by Witherfang. Which is why this new development troubles me so. As I said, this is no trivial matter."

"As it turns out, my Warden and her companions are exceptionally good at non trivial things, my friend," Zevran replied with a charming smile. "We will hunt this Witherfang down for you, and this curse shall end. Then you will lend her your aid against the Blight?"

"I'm afraid killing the beast would not be enough. I would need its heart, intact, in order to cast the spell that would reverse its curse upon my people," explained Zathrian.

"We'll get you this Witherfang's heart, Zathrian," Riel stated firmly.

"You sound so confident, Grey Warden. My people have hunted this beast for years, yet you are so certain you can find it and bring me its heart when we have failed? How can you be so certain that you will even find the beast, let alone kill it?"

"Because I  _have_  to. There is no other option," Riel flatly replied.

"Do not worry, my friend. The lovely Grey Warden here is a woman of her word. You shall have the heart of this beast. I promise you."

Zathrian scoffed at Zevran's exaggerated bow, a brow raised in incredulity both at his boasting and Riel's promise to bring him the beast. "We shall see. Until then, you may use our camp at your leisure. Varathorn has some supplies if you need them, and Sarel our storyteller will be able to inform you of our history, if you are so interested."

"I remember Keeper Marethari speaking warmly of craftsman Varathorn. She once told me that he and our own craftsman Master Ilen were cousins through their mothers. Although she would never say so within earshot of Master Ilen, Keeper Marethari was always overly fond of the pieces that Varathorn made."

"You know Keeper Marethari? That must mean you are… Ah, I see. Well, if you will excuse me, I have duties that I must attend to.  _Dareth shiral_  Warden," Zathrian stated quickly before walking away.

"What was that about?" Riel wondered as she watched the Keeper walk away.

"Forgive him. Our Keeper is old, and takes his job to his people very seriously."

Riel looked over to see the mage who first greeted them standing a few feet away. She was pretty, with long blonde hair done up in a tight chignon at the base of her head. She had blue eyes and a warm smile, and when she looked at Riel, there flowed a connection between the two of them that went beyond mere words. This woman held a dark past, one that resonated with Riel's own dark experiences.

"It's okay. Keeper Marethari was the same way. Sometimes she would begin scolding someone for something, then half way through forget why she was scolding them to begin with!" laughed Riel.

"You know Keeper Marethari?" she asked. "Oh forgive me, where are my manners! I am Lanaya, First to Keeper Zathrian."

Curiously, the woman didn't stick out her hand in greeting as most people did when they introduced themselves. "I am Riel of the Grey Wardens. But I suppose you knew that much already. And yes, I know Keeper Marethari. I was taken in by her clan several years ago, and it was there that the Grey Wardens recruited me from."

"I knew your name sounded familiar! We passed by a messenger a year or so ago, bringing news of other clans. He told us how the Sabrae clan had rescued a young girl that they found in the forest close to where their camp was."

"A messenger? Wha-what else did he say?" stammered Riel, a lick of fear rising up her spine. It was bad enough having so many people know what she went through years ago. Riel still wasn't exactly recovered from her revelation from just a little while ago, even. However to have strangers, possibly even whole other clans know what she went through…. That was too much to bare.

"Nothing much, honestly. Just that Keeper Marethari had taken in a young girl that they had found, and they were working to bring her fully into the clan. I didn't know you had decided to join the Grey Wardens."

"I didn't  _exactly_  decide…" Riel admitted truthfully.

"That sounds like a story I am sure many enjoy hearing. It's not often that one of The People decide to join the Wardens."

"Forgive me,  _mi amiga bella_ , but may we continue this later? I am sure our lovely Warden here would be most pleased to tell you of the many stories we have encountered in our travels. However, it is getting rather late in the day and there are matters to which she and I must attend to," Zevran purred to Lanaya.

"My, aren't you a charming one," Lanaya giggled quietly, causing Riel's blush to go deeper.

"Zevran Arainai, at your service," replied with a deep bow. "Former assassin, now current companion of the lovely Warden Riel, as well as her ever devoted follower," Zevran gently took Riel's hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of her knuckles, making sure to keep his honeyed gaze on her own. His stare was hot and seductive, carrying with it a clear mark of his desire and intention towards the woman before him. "And hopefully one day a man lucky enough to call her his wife."

"A pleasure meeting you, Zevran. You as well, Riel. I won't keep you. However, it would honor me greatly if you were to come by our fire later and speak with me. Would you? Maybe not tonight, but before you journey out into the forest?"

"That will be wonderful. Thank you, Lanaya," Riel replied with a bow of her head.

"Good," Lanaya stated with a warm smile. "I am sure you are wondering about your companions. Your fellow Grey Warden is being attended to by our healer Varela, as well as your own shemlen healer over in her araval near where the halla are kept. The red haired woman is with them as well. When I last spoke with Varela, she said that human male was recovering well."

"Thank you, Lanaya. I will go see them soon."

" _Dareth shiral_ , Warden," Lanaya said with a bow of her head before walking away.

"By the Creators… Leliana must be beside herself with worry…." whispered Riel sadly.

Zevran pulled Riel into his arms, holding her gently in his embrace. "I am more worried about you,  _mi bella_. We can see to the others later. First I wish to see you well."

"I can't go slinking off to camp without checking in on her though, Zevran! What if Leliana is angry at me now? You saw how close she and Alistair were becoming over these past few days! Creators, what if she blames me?" she cried, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks despite the way she tried to fight against them.

"Shh…. She will not be angry with you. Worried over the fool, perhaps. However, she is your friend, and knows how badly his careless words hurt you. She will understand," Zevran crooned, reaching up to dry some of her tears with the back of his fingers. "Besides, I promise you that she will hate me far more when I finally kill the fool for his actions."

"Zevran…" she groaned, rolling her eyes.

"I cannot abide by his carelessness any more. Not when it causes you such pain. I thought that perhaps he had learned his lesson that day in the meadow when we faced each other, yet it seems that is not the case. I simply cannot have him continue to hurt you as he has,  _mi bella_. My honor as a man and as your lover demands that I see to it that he never again utters such cruel and heartless words to you."

"I can't have you kill him though, Zevran!" Riel exclaimed in a loud whisper. She was trying desperately to keep her voice down as they were among strangers, yet she knew from the occasional glances that she got from the other elves that she was failing miserably. "Look, can we  _please_  talk about this later? I just… I just can't. Not right now…" Riel groaned sadly.

Zevran leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Forgive me,  _mi bella_. You are right, as always," he stated with a sigh. Gently he lifted Riel's chin up so her eyes met his. "Let us go find Leliana. You need to speak to your friend, and know that all is well between you two. Afterwards, I will take you back to our camp, where I will hold you for the rest of the night in my arms, if you will allow me."

Riel smiled up at him, her first genuine smile in hours. "That sounds absolutely wonderful."

"Good. Now let us quickly find that red headed woman. I have much cuddling and gentle caresses to make up for, after being so rudely interrupted by these Dalish. After all, cuddling and gentle caresses are a large part of my duties, you see. You should know by now that I take my duties as your devoted follower  _very_  seriously. It truly shameful that I have let them slip so long."

Riel giggled lightly, once again feeling amazed by how easily he always seemed to make her feel better despite whatever horrible mood she was currently in.

Together they walked through the camp, passing by the glares and looks of distrust that the other elves gave to them. The Dalish were by nature cautious of outsiders, having had their homeland destroyed not just once but twice by the humans lords and their Chantry. And the elves who willingly chose to live with the humans were often thought of as no better than the humans themselves. So any outsider was looked upon with hatred and distrust, and if not treated with outright hostility, were still preferably kept at a far distance.

Riel had grown accustomed to the glares those in her own camp had given to her at first. Their pity at her circumstance had long worn away under her abrasive and hard demeanor, most people in her clan were probably thankful that she had left with Duncan when she did. However, the way Zevran walked beside her - with his arm protectively around her waist and his free hand twitching idly by his side - it was clear that he didn't approve of the way the others in the clan looked at his Riel.

"There you are! Thank the Maker!" Wynne stated warmly in greeting as soon as Riel and Zevran got close. "Leliana just went inside the araval not too long ago. I'll go fetch her. You probably wish to speak with her."

"Wait, you don't need to disturb her," Riel stated quickly, placing a light hand on Wynne's arm to stop her. "How is he, though?"

"He is alive,-"

"For now..." Zevran added coldly.

" _Zevran_ …" Riel scolded in a quiet hiss to him.

"It's alright dear," Wynne kindly smiled. "I am worried about you though. There was talks of a demon when that woman Lanaya came to check in on us."

Riel took comfort from the slight squeeze that she felt from Zevran, and answered the older woman as best as she could. "I heard…  _voices_. Stronger than ever before. But they're gone now." Riel looked up to Zevran and smiled. "Zevran brought me back. If it wasn't for him…."

"It was your own strength,  _mi bella_. Do not doubt that," he crooned in her ear.

"You have been struggling even more lately, haven't you? Ever since the attack on the camp by the Darkspawn."

Riel looked down to her fidgeting fingers, unsure of what to say. "My  _magic,_ " she still had trouble acknowledging her powers, especially with someone from the Circle itself. "It's getting harder to control. Spikes in emotion, whether good or bad, brings it out."

"Even when she sleeps. If a nightmare comes upon her, the power inside of her flares. So far I have managed to calm her in time, so no damage has been done," Zevran added, giving Riel another slight squeeze.

"It's almost as if…," Wynne started, but then shook her head. "But no, that couldn't be…"

"What? Do you know something?" Riel questioned.

Wynne smiled at the two of them, waving her hand as if to dismiss their worries. "It is nothing, child. The Maker has his plan for all of us, and the best we can do is trust in his guidance  _when_  he chooses to give it."

"I don't understand," Riel responded wearily.

"No one can claim to know the mind of the Maker or why he does the things that he does. All we can do is try our best each day to do good, in whatever way that we can."

"You like being cryptic, don't you old woman?" teased Riel, rolling her eyes.

"Call it a purview of the old," Wynne giggled.

The way Wynne said that though called out to barely remembered dream in Riel's mind. Of lying on her back in the middle of a forest, and visited by someone - or some _thing_  - that liked to speak in riddles as well. However as quickly as the feelings came, they vanished, slipping right through Riel's fingers when she tried to hold on to it.

Sighing, Riel decided that it was best to just drop the subject. Instead she looked over to the wooden door of the araval, thinking of the woman behind it. And to the man that the woman was no doubt kneeling beside, praying to her Maker that he lives through this. Did Riel wish for the same? It was clear where Zevran stood on the fate of her fellow Grey Warden. And it was no secret how much Riel had grown to dislike the human. Yet Riel had hoped that things might have begun to change between the two of them.

In fact, things  _had_  been better since they regrouped at Southmere. Aside from today, Alistair had actually been really kind to her these past few days. It had also helped a lot that most of the ex-Templar's attention had been directed at Leliana instead of herself. But then today, it was as if nothing had really changed between the two of them. He was just as clueless as he always was, provoking her and saying the absolute cruelest things that he could.

"Maybe I'll come back later to check up on her. I promised Lanaya that I would be back later, so I'll come by then. You'll tell her though that I came, won't you?"

"Of course dear," Wynne replied with her typical motherly smile. "Now you go get some rest. Rest is very important for women with burdens such as ours."

"What burdens?" asked Riel, confused.

"Why, magic, of course! It can drain us so terribly, especially when we don't expect it. No go on. Get some rest. And don't you worry about a thing. I will tell Leliana that you came by, and that you will see her later this evening."

Wynne practically shooed the young couple away, drawing strange looks from both her and Zevran. Yet she ignored their looks and Riel's small protests about waiting for Leliana to come out. Wynne insisted on them returning to their camp, and eventually both she and Zevran had managed to convince Riel to finally give up and return to their tent back at camp.

After the two elves had gone, Wynne's mind began working at all the possibilities, the corners of her lips turning up in a sly smile as she thought.

"Well. I suppose not all of the rumors about the Grey Wardens are true…" she quietly mused to herself.


	54. A Debt and a Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Asombroso: Antivan. "Amazing."
> 
> Tranquil: The Rite cuts off the connection to the Fade, and the Tranquil can no longer dream nor draw on the Fade to perform magic. As a side affect, their emotional center is utterly removed, which makes them undesirable to be possessed by demons in the first place.
> 
> Ir'mala: Elvhen. "I'm yours."
> 
> Emma lath: Elvhen. "My love."
> 
> Uthmelana: Elvhen. "For eternity/Forever."
> 
> Mi diosa: Antivan. "My goddess."

Zevran did an amazing job of deflecting the questions of the others when Riel and him returned to the camp. Even when Sten waylaid the two of them just a few feet from their tent, Zevran remained calm yet firm with the giant. Insisting that whatever he needed to speak with the Warden about could wait until the morning. Reluctantly he eventually agreed, but not without muttering several things in his own language as he walked away.

Finally alone in their tent, Riel collapsed back against the bedrolls, exhaustion overtaking her. Yet her mind refused to let her rest, instead reminding her of the argument she had with Alistair earlier. Each word uttered by both of them echoing in her mind, her own anxiety twisting what was said so much until Riel wasn't sure was true anymore.

Sitting quietly at her side, Zevran went about relieving Riel of her armor and weapons. With her daggers removed from their sheaths at her back, and her backup knives removed, he placed each blade on the ground beside her, allowing for easy reach if she needed it. Next his careful fingers went to finding every clasp and buckle of her armor, first to her bracers, then her boots and leg guards. When each small piece was removed, he placed them neatly to the side before returning to her and removing another one. When just her chest piece remained, Zevran carefully adjusted Riel as he sought out the buckles holding it on, turning her ever so slightly while he removed each one. Before removing it completely from her however, Zevran quickly and efficiently removed his own armor, setting it in a separate pile next to Riel's. With just his trousers and tunic remaining on, Zevran lowered his body down next to hers.

"I am going to remove your armor now,  _mi bella_. Just a bit more, and I promise you can rest."

Riel nodded sleepily, her eyes remaining closed even as she lifted herself from the bedroll so Zevran could fully remove the large piece that covered her torso. With her armor completely gone and set aside, Zevran let Riel once more lay herself down, this time joining her by her side.

With his head propped up on his arm, Zevran watched her in silence as she rested beside him. Even now after all this time, he felt enraptured by her beauty. And not just her physical looks, but her inner beauty that shined forth in a thousand little ways everyday.

"It was you, you know," Riel whispered, her eyes still closed. "What pulled me back today. What made the voices go away. It was you." With a happy sigh, she added "it has always been you."

"It was your own strength,  _mi bella_. I was merely there to hold you when you were ready for it."

Riel snuggled closer to him, burying her face against his chest. "It scares me, Zevran. This magic. What I can do. Look at what I did to Alistair!"

"Yes, however he happened to deserve it," Zevran replied, smiling to himself.

"What if it isn't him next time, though? What if it's you? Or Leliana? Or someone else in our group? Creators, what if I strike out at an innocent person, or a child?" Riel wiped at her tears, mind swirling through a thousand different horrors that could come about because of her magic. "Lately I've been wondering…. That maybe…." she paused, the words stuck in her throat.

"Hmmm? What have you been thinking of?" Zevran crooned, lightly rubbing her back as he held her.

"Maybe it would be better if I was made…. Was made a…."  _Dear Creators! I can't even say it!_  she cursed inwardly to herself.

Zevran gently lifted her face up to meet his. "No.  _Never_. That would kill you, Riel. Maybe not in flesh, but your spirit…."

"The ones that have it done, though… Like Owain back at the Circle Tower. He seemed rather content as… one of  _them_ …"

"The Tranquil are not a solution,  _mi bella_. It removes not just your magic from you, but your dreams. Your passion. Your vibrancy. Your  _love_ … Would you so quickly discard how you feel for me?"

"If it meant that I couldn't ever hurt you again…"

"I would rather be struck a thousand times over by your magic than have you cease loving me. To see these  _asombroso_  eyes become dim without your spark to light them. To know you to be alive without truly living. You cannot seriously want that,  _mi bella_."

"I don't want to hurt anyone anymore! Not without meaning to! What I did to Alistair today-"

"What he got, the fool more than deserved. Not just for his words, but how he treated you. Do not doubt that," Zevran replied firmly.

"If I had killed him though, I would have  _hated_  myself for it. And I had no control over what I did. When you wield a weapon, one of the first things you learn is to measure your strikes. So when you are practicing what you are learning on someone, you don't accidently hurt them. I have no measure though. No means to hold back what comes. Next time it might not be Alistair who pushes me too far. What if it's one of our group? Or someone in a town or village that we pass through? Some human who calls me a  _knife-ear_  as I pass by and I end up killing him because of it?"

"You won't. You will gain control of this. And I and the others will help you. You must trust in this, Riel."

"I just don't understand why now? I've had these powers since I was little, but only now has it become like this. It's the same with the voices. Before, I never heard them, even while I slept. However, I hear them all the time now. When I am sleeping, or when I am awake. Little voices, begging for me to let them inside of my mind. Whispering promises to me if I did. Before in the Deep Roads, the whispers from the Archdemon were always the same. Telling me my fears. Telling me how weak I was, and how I will just fail everyone. These ones though… They promise me strength. Power. The ability to do everything I ever wanted. And I  _know_  that they are lies. But the temptation… The desire to maybe think ' _what if?_ '... It becomes  _so_  hard to ignore, especially when I get upset or angry. Like what happened earlier today with Alistair. And now, thinking of how close I was to losing myself to them…. It  _terrifies_  me, Zevran."

"Listen to me, Riel. Listen to my words carefully so you will remember them." Zevran lifted Riel's palm and placed it between her breasts, covering her hand with his own. "Remember what I told you to you before? The heart that you feel beating within your chest is no longer your own. It is  _mine_." Zevran then placed her hand in the same spot on his own chest. "This is  _your_  heart, right here. And so long as it beats within my chest, no spirit or demon will  _ever_ be able to claim you. For in order it to do so, they must destroy the heart of the ones they wish possess. My own heart is not one they can touch, for it carries no mage power. And your heart rests within me, which they cannot gain access to for the same reason. No demon can claim you, no matter what promises they make or how strong their voices become. Because you have become a part of  _mi bella_. As vital to me as the very air I breathe. And while I cannot ever truly place a claim on you, I will forever protect what I see as mine. And you,  _mi bella_ , are  _mine…_. for as long as you will allow it."

" _Ir'mala_ ,  _emma lath_ …  _Uthmelana_ …"

"As I am yours, my love. Forever," Zevran purred back. He then bent his head and lightly he kissed her forehead. "Now you should rest. Dream in ease, for I will be watching over you, protecting you from your nightmares."

"You should rest too, Zevran."

"I will,  _mi bella_. Once I know you are well. Now sleep,  _mi diosa_."

Riel once more snuggled tightly against him, placing her head over his chest as she closed her eyes and finally let sleep take her. At first she slept soundly in his arms, peaceful in her respite as he gently caressed her back and arms. However, it wasn't too long before Riel's first nightmare came upon her.

Nothing but a slight whimper was all the warning Zevran got before shock of electricity shot through him. Yet still he help onto her, ignoring the pain that he felt and instead continuing to gently caress her while whispering sweetly into her ear. This was the new routine that had developed over the past few nights since they had left Redcliff. Riel would fall asleep, bringing with her sleep the nightmares that plagued her every night despite Zevran's best efforts. Although, they had decreased in number, rarely a night went by where his Riel didn't suffer through some sort of nightmare as she slept. Only now, with each terrifying dream, came a spike in her new magical powers.

Quietly Zevran whispered into Riel's ear, mixing his words between the three different languages he used to speak with her. Although Riel always seemed to respond the best with Antivan for some reason, even though she knew far less of that language than the other two.

After a few minutes her nightmare passed, and once more Riel fell into a peaceful sleep. Zevran waited a few moments more, before carefully extracting himself from her embrace. Reaching for the blanket down by their feet, he covered Riel with it to the best of his ability before placing one last kiss on her forehead. He always hated leaving her like this, but this must be done. And he must move quickly, before her next nightmare came upon her.

Forgoing his armor, Zevran grabbed his blades and left the tent, stepping out into the night air. He had no real idea where to search this time, but he knew like the Dalish, if he didn't find what he was looking for, then it would come to him. It always did. Quickly Zevran scanned the camp area, pleased to see Shale's rocky form in the distance. Sten should be somewhere in the darkness as well, keeping watch over the group as they rested.

Satisfied that his Riel was well enough protected for the time being, Zevran made his way out of the camp and into the forest. Sticking to the shadows, he moved carefully and quietly until the lights from the campfire could no longer be seen. Once lost in amongst the night and the trees of the forest, Zevran settled his back against a rough bark of a tree and waited.

Closing his eyes, Zevran let himself become as still as the tree behind him, melding his presence into the darkness that surrounded him. Not that it would prevent this meeting, however the assassin in him in demanded that he make it at least a little bit of a challenge for them.

"You are early, elf. Usually 'tis ev'ry second night that you come to me. Yet here you are, so soon you come begging after your previous visit just the previous night."

Zevran opened his eyes and fixed a deadly glare on the witch. "I do  _ **not**_  beg, witch. Not from you, anyway. However, I come not just for healing this night," he replied in a harsh tone. How he hated using her. Yet it was the only way. "I want what you owe me. You've been saying for days now that you were close. Or are you just wishing to extend our time together?"

"You think awfully highly of yourself for an elf, assassin. What ever makes you think that I owe you a single thing? Not after all these times that  _I_  have aided  _you_..."

The moon above shone down through the trees, illuminating Morrigan's dark form as she stalked closer to Zevran. As a predator coming upon trapped prey, she glided up next to Zevran, her body almost touching his as she leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"I would venture that  _you_  would owe  _me_."

Zevran hid the wave of revulsion that he felt at her presence so close to his. As good of a friend and ally that this witch was to his Riel, she was of neither category to Zevran himself. There was dark secrets kept hidden away inside this woman, ones that Zevran knew would test both women's loyalties in the future. It was just a sense he got from the dark witch, based purely on what his highly toned and developed instincts told him whenever he turned his assassin's eye to her. For now though, the witch was useful. Not just to his Riel, but to him as well.

"I had no idea you were so interested in me, my fair Morrigan. Shall I bring up a possible intimate encounter between the you, Riel and myself?" Zevran quipped, knowing the dance they played far too well even though he despised it.

"Hmph," Morrigan scoffed lightly before again retreated backwards. "I have heard whispers. Nothing with surety, yet it holds more promise than others."

"And what whispers would these be?"

"Far to the north, past Denerim and along the Waking Sea. There lies an old abandoned fortress. Death surrounds every stone of its making, yet still a single life lives on that is neither demon nor spirit. And old life, well beyond what even normal aging should have allowed. However, the secrets there bear not just the scent of magics both dark and forbidden, but of the Taint as well."

"Darkspawn? Or Grey Warden?" Zevran asked sharply.

"Who can say?" shrugged Morrigan ambivalently, a sly smile visible on her lips despite the low light available. "What I do know is that the whispers do not come without warning, elf. Whatever happened at that long forgotten fortress has rendered the veil nearly completely. For now 'tis stable, controlled by some invisible force beyond my sight. However, if to say, an untrained mage with her magic still wild and uncontrolled were to get too close to one of the tears between this world and the Fade…"

"I do find it is interesting, my lovely Morrigan, how our dear leader's hidden  _abilities_  have only become an issue since your talk with her that day. Now, it would far too impolite to even suggest that you had something to do with her talents becoming  _wild_  and  _uncontrolled_ …"

"Indeed 'twould be, assassin," Morrigan snapped, her piercing yellow eyes narrowing on him. "Seeing as my  _lesson_  was only to have her use what she already had. Not to alter or unleash whatever was holding her back previously. One does not rip a cloth simply by using it as it is meant to be used."

Zevran thought of the fight afterwards with the Darkspawn, and the great rush of magic that Riel had called upon to fight against them. "Perhaps if not used correctly. Yet a muscle worked too far without properly stretching it first will snap, will it not?"

"Perhaps. The abilities we use are not so different than the muscle in your legs or in your hand. When used properly, it becomes stronger. Trained, stronger still. However, left to disuse, it becomes weak, falling easy to failure or overuse. Such has happened in the past. An inexperienced wielder draining themselves so deeply that they have trouble recovering ever again. However, usually in those cases, the power in our blood goes silent for a time as it recovers. It does not  _grow_  even larger."

Zevran sighed, knowing his time was getting short. He needed to hurry back to his Riel if he wanted to avoid the change of her having a nightmare without him there to help her. "Alas, my beautiful Morrigan, the night wanes on. And the bed of our leader grows cold without me in it. If you have nothing else to tell me of your  _whispers_ , I shall take my leave."

"Wait, there is but one more issue that must be dealt with before you go back to warm her bed," Morrigan stated quickly, stepping closer to Zevran.

With careful eyes, Zevran looked over the witch. For a moment, she actually looked worried about something. A small break in her veneer of calm detachment. It was brief, but it was still there.

"As of yet, I am not in need enough to undergo your  _healing_ , so I am curious as to what could be important enough to keep me from joining  _mi amor_  in her tent."

"As I said, assassin, I would say that you have come to  _owe_ me for not just my abilities to heal, but to use what I have available to me to seek out your answers…."

Zevran bristled, not a sickening feeling rising in his stomach. True, he knew that his seeking of her aid would eventually come with a price to it, however the witch was not only far more discreet in her workings, she also had access to things that the elder mage did not. And when it came to his Riel, he would pay any price to keep her safe. However, the way the witch looked at him just now…. It sparked a off a lot of alarms inside of Zevran's head.

"Now Morrigan, I you know I am flattered, however I pledged myself to our fair Warden, as you know. If you wish for her to share me, you have to bring such a request to her, not to me. Although," Zevran paused, raking a sinful glance over her body. "I could be persuaded to put in a good word for you." The words were bitter on his tongue, and immediately he felt his skin crawl at the suggestion, yet he knew that she hated the suggestion of the two of them together as much as he did. Which is precisely why they used such a tactic against each other.

It had started out as a simple test on her part, pushing his loyalties to his Warden. When the banter continued, yet never went further than mere words, it taken on another light, however. Something to torment the other with, knowing how vile the proposition was in the other's eyes. A game, not unlike chess, played back and forth, each vying for weaknesses in the other's defences. So far, neither had gained any ground. However, it did manage to help set the ground rules of their encounters. When one wanted or needed to express annoyance or dissatisfaction with the other, a carefully worded seduction was thrown into play, either to be played back, or be avoided, causing a change of topics or tactics.

"Save your  _good words_  for her ears, not mine. The price I seek for my good will towards you 'tis not something that may be simply bought off with mere kindly words. What I seek is of far greater value."

Zevran stood up straighter against the tree. If the witch was willing to forego their game so easily, what she was about to ask of him was indeed something serious. "Then say your price, witch. And we'll see what comes of it."

"A life," Morrigan stated flatly. "'Tis a fair price, I think. After all, 'tis not you yourself who wishes to save the life of our dear female Warden? All I ask for is to return the favor. A life for a life."

"And whose life would you have me take?"

"Not to take, assassin. Although I would lying if I said that I did not oft' imagine this person lying spread out in dire pain and the life slowly leaked from it. No, what I ask is to not  _take_  a life. But to  _keep_  from taking it."

The sickening feeling deep inside Zevran's stomach grew larger as his suspicions on just what exactly the witch was asking of him grew clearer. "You cannot possibly mean…."

"Oh I certainly do. The bumbling fool of an ex-Templar and current Grey Warden, Alistair."

Zevran felt his anger rise to threatening levels at the mention of his name. "No! He deserves to die for what he has done! You may pick a life for me to either kill or protect out of all Thedas and save for two I will work to pay this debt of yours. Out of those two, one I will give everything to protect, and the other I would gladly and greedily take pleasure in killing!" Zevran paced back and forth in front of woman, his mind swirling. "By the Void, woman, I will gladly spare that traitor Loghain's life over that wretched excuse for a male!" he exclaimed again, pointing his dagger directly at Morrigan's face.

"And yet you will  _save_  his. No matter his antics or his foolish words, you will  _ **not**_  shed his blood. And you will continue to fight at his back as this journey of Riel's moves forth," Morrigan replied far too calmly.

"You must tell me at least  _why_  I need to spare him!"

"I cannot. Yet these are my terms. I will lead you to the abandoned fortress in the north, and in return you will continue to keep not just your blades from Alistair's flesh, but those of others as well." Morrigan then sauntered up close to Zevran, stopping just shy of having their bodies touch. "And to make this perfectly clear,  _assassin_ …. If Alistair does  _not_  make it both hale and hearty past the final battle against the Archdemon - not just surviving up until that point, but is still standing tall after the battle is over…. What shall be taken from you will be  _far_  more precious to you or Riel than anything you could ever imagine. And I will make sure Riel knows that it was  **you**  who could have prevented it, yet  _chose_  not to."

"You would threaten not just myself, but Riel as well, witch? Is that how you treat women who have welcomed you as her  _kin_?" Zevran seethed in response.

"Believe if you will, or do not. However, I do this  _because_  of how fond I have become of our dear female Warden. This is the  _only_  way for us all to walk away with what we desire, with as little blood being shed. If I were truly heartless,  _assassin_ , I would simply abscond with what I desired the very moment that I could. I would pay no heed to Riel's or any others  _feelings_. However,  _things…_. have changed the course of my plans. So while you may have no trust in me, the trust Riel has placed within me is not misplaced. Foolish, perhaps. But not misplaced."

Zevran sighed heavily. This was definitely not how he envisioned this night would go, yet fate rarely paid heed to one's own plans. "All I can swear to is to give my best ability to keep the fool alive. If he gets himself killed while I am not there, that is not up to me."

"Yet the result  **will**  be the same. For my plans to come as desired, Alistair  _ **must**_  live to end of the battle against the Archdemon. If not… I fear nothing in this world will keep Riel from seeking out the Deep Roads to end the pain she will suffer as a result."

Zevran spat out several harsh Antivan curses in quick succession, while at same time turning and hitting the tree behind him several times with his bare fist. Breathing heavily and now sporting a broken hand, Zevran leaned his head against the tree that he had just been hitting. With his eyes closed and his spirit defeated, he knew that at least for now, there was only choice for him, and by extension his precious Riel.

"If you are lying to me, witch, I  _ **swear**_ …"

"I am not. Trust me when I say that this is the  _only_  way."

Zevran turned around and faced the young Witch of the Wilds, his cold eyes piercing through to the darkness between and straight into her. " _ **I**_  don't trust you. However, you were right in that Riel  _does_. Let us both hope that her trust - while foolish - is  _ **not**_  misplaced, just as you claimed."

"Indeed," Morrigan replied, a sly smile on her lips. "Now, it seems that you require my healing after all this night," she stated, looking down at Zevran's now throbbing hand.

"Aye. It would appear so. Just do so quickly. I fear I have been gone far too long as it is."

Morrigan once more stepped up to Zevran, this time placing one of her hands on Zevran's chest, while the other shae placed on his broken hand. "And here I was starting to think that you were becoming more welcoming of my embrace, my dear assassin," she crooned seductively into his ear.

Zevran repressed the instant shudder that went through him the moment her breath touched his skin. If she was back to playing their  _game_ , he would leave the victor, not her. Forcing the evil witch's face away from his mind, Zevran instead replaced image with that of his Riel, naked and writhing under him. Immediately he grew hard at the image, as he always did whenever he thought of such things. Waiting until the moment witch finished with her magic, Zevran wrapped his arm around her slender waist and pulled Morrigan sharply against him. And in full contact with the hard length hidden behind his trousers.

"As I said, my lovely Morrigan. You would need to seek out Riel as for the terms of sharing me. I am eternally hers to do with as she will. However, I can be  _persuaded_  to put in a good word for you. If the offer is good enough, that is…"

Morrigan shoved Zevran away roughly, her face contorted into a mixture of rage and embarrassment. "Y-you will… I w-will…" she stuttered before her hard yellow eyes came down upon Zevran in a menacing glare. " **Never**   _assassin!_ " she huffed before stalking off into the night and disappearing into the darkness completely.

Zevran sighed, allowing himself to shake off the vile shudders that being so close to her gave to him. Where in the past, he could find pleasure in all women and a great deal of men, the only one he could now tolerate close to him on any level was his Riel. The touches of others - even those accompanied by healing - brought back too vividly the memories of his time trapped in the Fade while in the Circle Tower months ago.

Perhaps on some level it was why he could understand Riel's own aversion to being touched. Yet while she was becoming more often with her affections, Zevran found he was becoming more closed off. Only Riel's touch did not cause tremors of revulsion in him, although of all their companions, Leliana was the one whose touch he could tolerate the most. Perhaps it was because of the woman's close connection to Riel, however that couldn't be all there was to it seeing as Morrigan also had a close relationship with his Riel as well. And yet the witch's touch made his skin crawl more than most.

With a shake of his head, Zevran pushed all other thoughts aside. What mattered is that he get back to their shared tent before one of Riel's nightmares overtook her. Fearing that he had already been gone too long, Zevran raced back to the camp, ignoring his usual protocol of stealth and invisibility. What he needed now was speed, not subterfuge in amongst the shadows of the forest.

Even without the camp yet within sight, Zevran's sensitive hearing stretched forward and picked up the sounds of distress from up ahead. And then from out of the darkness beyond came a sound that Zevran had prayed to never hear again. The fearful cries of his Riel, calling out for him.

"Riel!" Zevran called out. However again he heard Riel call out for him, this time even more desperate than the last. Joined along her cries came other sounds now; voices exclaiming in shock and confusion.

In a burst Zevran broke free from the darkened forest and into the small camp that the others had set up earlier. Immediately his eyes went first to the tent that she shared with Riel, horror filling him to find it alight with roaring flames. Standing around it were Oghren and Sten, both out of their armor and in nothing but their small clothes, as they poured what water they could find on the blaze. Shale was standing back, looking on the chaos as it unfolded, while Fen'harel barked and whined pleadingly at the edges of the fire.

From the opposite direction from where Zevran had emerged from, Morrigan came free from the shadows of the forest and rushed over to the blazing tent. "Stand back! Both of you! Lest I freeze you as well!" she commanded to the two warriors, pushing them aside as she approached the blaze.

"Riel!" Zevran called out, his heart lurching in his stomach.  _Damn me straight to the Void! I was gone too long! Please, by the gods, let her be alright!_  he prayed to himself as he launched himself at the fire.

Ignoring the shouts of warning, Zevran pushed through the burning fire that had over taken the tent and inside to where Riel was still calling out for him.

"Riel, I am here! I am here!" Zevran hurried stated as he fell down next to her.

Riel laid completely still on the bedroll, her eye open wide yet unseeing at the tent ceiling above her. All around her the fire raged, yet for all its intensity, it wasn't actually  _burning_  anything. The flames crawled up the fabric walls of the tent and licked at the few belongings that were kept inside, yet none of it showed signs of charring or damaging. The flames themselves didn't even burn Zevran even as they leapt out to him, climbing up his skin as they did to the walls of the tent.

This wasn't the mage fire that burned as a result of whatever magic that existed in the blood of mages. No, this was Riel's own personal fire. The one that only burned as she commanded it to, or reacted to her need to defend herself. Yet whatever brought it forward was in her own mind, no doubt resulting from some nightmare that he was not here to protect him from.

"Riel! Listen to me! You are safe! I am here!" Zevran crooned to her, placing his face directly in front of hers. However still her unseeing eyes even refused to blink, let alone acknowledge him or his words.

"My spells are not working! The fire will not abate!" Morrigan's voice could be heard from outside.

Cursing, Zevran ran through his thoughts quickly. Finding only possible solution, he had to take the chance. "I need everyone to leave. Shale can remain, just stay at a distance. But for the rest of you, I need leave.  _Now_. Go to the Dalish camp. Go for a walk in the forest. Whatever it is, I need you to leave!" Zevran shouted from inside the tent.

From outside came the sounds of grumbling and curses, and a few short lived arguments followed by more cursing. Then all was quite. Once he was sure that the others were gone, Zevran gathered Riel up in his arms and carefully carried her free from the tent.

Once out in the night, the flames that had covered the tent died away, most of of retreating back into her skin where they came from. Carefully Zevran carried her over to the campfire. There he sat down with her, cradling her in his arms from behind as he always did while they sat beside the fire. This time however, he leaned her back, allowing Riel to be able to look up and see the stars above.

"Do you see that,  _mi bella_? The stars overhead?" he crooned to her as he gently caressed her cheek. "You are not trapped anywhere. You are not underground or in some house with no way out. You are free,  _mi bella_. Always, you are  _free_ …"

Slowly Riel began to blink her eyes, tears forming and being shed with each brief closing of her eyes. Then came the sobs, the gut wrenching, soul wracking sobs that only the ones who had suffered great amounts of pain ever truly know. Riel turned her body into his as the sobs took over, and Zevran adjusted her in his arms so she could be more comfortable against him as she cried.

"Shh,  _mi bella_ …. I am here. You are not alone," he whispered softly into her ear as he gently rubbed her back.

Zevran didn't know how long that Riel cried desperately against him, yet every tear that she shed felt like another knife in his chest, reminding him of his failures. Not just of his failure to return to her in time, but also to keep her safe in so many other things that plagued her. From her nightmares, to the awful memories that fueled such nightly terrors, and everything in between. From Alistair's cruel words that day, to now with this new deal with the witch Morrigan. Where he couldn't even gut the bastards like he so rightly deserved, offering the man's severed head to Riel as justice for every wound his words had ever caused her.

"I don't want to be the only one…" she cried against his chest, her words slightly muffled by their combined bodies.

"The only one?"

"He's an asshole. And he rude. And mean. And a complete sodding idiot. But at least he makes it so I'm not the  _only one_ …." she continued on, speaking through the sobs.

 _Ahh… the fool ex-Templar..._ Zevran thought to himself. Just then Zevran felt eyes upon him, and he lifted his gaze to the tree line beyond their small camp. There standing in among the shadows was Morrigan, her face impassive as she watched the two of them.

"It was the last battle," Riel whispered, lost in the memory of her dreams. "And I was alone. There were others fighting, but I was the only one who was like  _ **him**_. The only one who could hear his voice. The only one who he tormented. And It was all my fault. The reason why I was alone. It was because I sent him away. Or left him behind. Or let you or someone else kill him. It was all true at the same time. And it was  _my_  fault…"

"Do not worry,  _mi bella_. I will not kill the fool. Hurt him… Well, perhaps just a  _little_. But he will live to be  _hale and hearty_  until long after the death of the Archdemon. This I swear to you," Zevran replied, keeping his eyes on the witch as he made his vow. And the moment when the words were free from his lips, Zevran could have sworn he saw the witch smile at him, before silently disappearing back into the shadows of the forest.

At his promise, the last remaining flames of her inner fire pulled away, settling back down under her skin where it lived. Once the fire had completely disappeared, Riel let out a shudder. She then took in a deep breath, her body relaxing and finally letting go the stress that had plagued it. A moment of silence passed between them, before Riel lifted her tear soaked face up to meet his. "Do you mean it? You will let him live?"

"For you, I will do anything," he replied with a smile, cupping her cheek in his palm. "Even keep an annoying ex-Templar alive. If only so I may continue to hurt him. After all, death is the end of suffering. And what better way to mete out the justice that he owes, them for me to make him squirm and and scream out in pain for every hurtful thing that he says to you? Who knows, he may even his lesson this way."

"I'm sorry, Zevran!" she exclaimed, fresh tears building in her eyes.

"Shh… There is no reason to apologize. It is I who should beg for forgiveness. I wasn't able to stop your nightmare as I should have."

Riel sat up slightly in his arms. "I want to go back to the tent. Then, will you hold me for the rest of the night?"

Zevran brought on of her hands up to his lips, where he then kissed the back of her knuckles. "It would be my honor,  _mi bella_." Together, they then stood up and Zevran guided Riel back towards their tent. Once inside and laying down the bedrolls laid out for them, Zevran gathered Riel in his arms and held on to her tightly. "I won't leave you again, I swear it."

And he meant it. No matter how badly Riel's magic hurt him during the night, he would seek out healing only after she had awaken. And no more from Morrigan, unless it had something to do with a battle and Wynne was busy with others. Something that didn't lend itself to an intimate game of dares and trying to outdo the other through vile touches and sickening closeness.

As it was, the feel of of Morrigan pressed against his body lingered, sending another chill down his spine. Thankfully his Riel was right there, her warmth cutting away at the memory and replacing it with the feel of her own decadent form. All Zevran needed was now nestled deeply against his body, his arms wrapped tightly around her as once more she drifted off to sleep. Perhaps he would managed to find a bit of sleep before her next nightmare woke him. And if he was lucky, perhaps he wouldn't be visited by his own nightmares while he slept.


	55. A Common Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Mi diosa: Antivan. "My goddess."
> 
> Las cortesanas: Antivan. "The courtesans." High class prostitutes for the nobles or wealthy.
> 
> Mi diosa tentador: Antivan. "My temping goddess."
> 
> First: Elvhen term. Apprentice to the Keeper.
> 
> Shemlen/Shem: Elvhen. Literally "quick children". The original name of the Elves for the human race. Often used in a derogatory sense.
> 
> Vallaslin: Elvhen. "Blood writing." Mark of adulthood among the Dalish elves to honor their gods.
> 
> Ir abelas: Elvhen. "I'm sorry."
> 
> Aravals: Elven landships. Used for sleeping and storing their belongings.
> 
> Arlathan: Elvhen. The major city of Elvhenan, original homeland of the elves. From the phrase "ar lath'an" meaning "This place of love".
> 
> Uthenera: Elvhen. Waking sleep; immortal. Uthenera was the name of the ancient practice of immortal elves who would "sleep" once they tired of life. Literally: "Eternal waking dream".

Riel sat the morning fire, a cup of hot tea cooling in her hands. Nestled behind her was Zevran, his arm wrapped comforting around her waist while in his free hand he held his own tea. Ever since awakening at dawn Riel had been silent, lost in her thoughts as she went through the automatic motions of the morning. Guilt at not returning to Leliana and Alistair ate at her mind, as well as what little memory she had of the night before.

She could only remember flashes, yet one memory shined brighter than the rest. A promise made to her by the light of the very fire that she now sat beside.

_Do not worry, mi bella. I will not kill the fool._

The promise kept swirling around in her mind, mixing with her own actions against the other Grey Warden the day before. The power that she unleashed against Alistair frightened her, straining her already weary nerves. For years Riel had feared her magic, shutting away in her mind and locking it down tight no matter how bad things got for her. No matter how much pain or anger she experienced, Riel refused to open that box in her mind that contained the dark and deadly magics that she was cursed to be born with. And yet now, it seemed as if the box was not only open, but broken wide apart, unleashing everything she had repressed over the long years.

_Perhaps Zevran won't kill him, but will I? Will my powers end up killing someone?_

Before, Riel always feared having someone find out that she carried magic. Even among the Dalish, magic was looked upon with caution. And because of the threat of Templars, whenever one clan attained too many mages, some were even sent away, either to other clans or off into the wilderness to fend for themselves. No one clan ever had more than a small number of magic users. Both from protection against the Templars, and to protect their own people.

A mage was dangerous. Capable of casting powerful magics that would make even the stoutest and well trained warrior flee in horror. And that was _without_ the threat of possession. There was a reason why the Circle's came into being so many centuries ago. Originally started no doubt to aid young mages control their powers, they had evolved into nothing but an elaborate system of control and hushed slavery. With mages barely more than weapons to be used by whoever controlled their leashes.

It was why apostates were always so feared. Without the Circle to carefully watch for signs of possession, mages outside of their control were looked upon as weapon without a sheathe. Without a master. Capable of either great acts of kindness, or massive events of destruction. Yet despite all the power that mages held at their fingertips, they were still people. Capable of love, grief, worry, anger, and hate. They _weren't_ simply weapons, emotionless and uncaring. Many just wanted what others had.

Love. Happiness. A chance for a family. Living their own lives, fear from torment, pain and persecution. How much safety could freedom buy? How much freedom could be sacrificed for the sake of protection before it killed the person they were supposed to be protecting?

"A weapon with a soul," Riel murmured softly as she stared into the fire.

"What was that, _mi bella_?" Zevran asked into her ear.

Riel smiled sadly, meeting his eyes briefly. "If you could stop fighting, just set aside your blades and become something else…. Would you?"

Zevran was silent for a moment as he thought. "While I perhaps _could_ , I don't think I ever will. Even if I am lucky enough to live through to old age, I doubt that I will be able to set aside my blades for long. It has become too much of who I am, I think." Zevran lightly kissed her shoulder as again silence stretched out between then. "However, I do not think that you do not speak about blades and daggers, _mi amor_ ," he whispered against her neck after a while.

"I can't set it aside, Zevran. Believe me, I've _tried_ ," Riel stated with a hint of sad humor in her voice. "I tried to be something that I wasn't, but it was joke. No matter how hard I practiced or how much I learned, I was never as good at being a rogue as you or Leliana are."

"You are excellent with your daggers, Riel. Do not diminish your abilities so readily."

Riel gave his hand a soft squeeze in appreciation, yet still her mind worked against her. "I can swing a dagger, however I have never been able to be good at traps or locks. Even when you've tried teaching me, I always break the pick or set off the trap without meaning too. I am not very good at stealth, either. Even Sten can sneak up on me!"

"And yet you have many other useful abilities."

" _That's_ my point. I _do_ have other abilities. Things that I can't control. It would be as if someone was taking your hand as you held your dagger, and striking out blindly at the people around you, and not being able to stop it. For a normal person, they could just _drop_ the dagger. Remove the weapon. But for me, it's as if the dagger is tied to my hand, unable to be free of it. And not being to control where it struck, or when." Riel lifted her hand up, her eyes fixing to the static blue energy that wrapped around her fingers. "I can't put my weapon down, Zevran. And I can't control it. How long before it strikes at someone I care about?"

"Then you will learn, _mi bella_. This world is not without teachers of magic."

"I'm **not** going to the Circle. I _can't_ ," she replied firmly, anger lacing her voice.

Zevran reached out his hand and took hold of hers, ignoring the magic that sparked free from her flesh. "And I will never allow it, Riel. However, there are those outside of the Circle. Mages who live as apostates such as Morrigan and her mother. And there is also the many Dalish clans that travel the lands. Perhaps one of them?"

The mention of the Dalish brought the woman Lanaya to Riel's mind. "Lanaya is First to the Keeper, which means she knows magic. All Dalish Keepers are mages, and so are their apprentices."

"I remember her. Didn't she wish to speak with you before we left for the deeper forests today?"

Riel nodded her head, thinking of her options. "It's not just her I have to see, though…"

"You worry over Leliana."

"I should have spoken with her yesterday," Riel grumbled sadly.

"There is still time today to do, _mi bella_. The morning is still early, and after you speak with her, we can meet with Lanaya," Zevran replied before pulling himself away from Riel and standing up. He then offered his hand down to her. "Come, _mi diosa_. Let us go visit with your kin. Then we shall meet with the Dalish," he added with a sly smile.

Riel rolled her eyes as she stood. "The Dalish _are_ my kin, Zevran."

"And so is Leliana. Which is how I know that she is probably just as anxious to settle things with you as you are with her," Zevran crooned, pulling her against him.

"Yeah well, you better be willing to take an arrow for me just in case she isn't," Riel replied in a half joking manner.

Zevran suddenly became serious, his hand coming up to cup her cheek in his palm. "I will _always_ take a blow meant for you, _mi bella_. If I could, I would hide you away somewhere safe, away from all these battles and dangers. Somewhere that I could protect tend to you as you deserve."

"Hmm... As _wonderful_ as that sounds, you know would get bored," Riel smiled coyly. "After all, did you just tell me that you wouldn't be able to give up fighting?"

Zevran chuckled briefly. "Oh that is not one of my worries, _mi bella_. If there is one thing that I have come to know about you, is that wherever you go, a battle is sure to follow. I would just have you safe and secure beyond sturdy walls while I fought the battles _for_ you." Zevran then pressed himself tighter against Riel's body, lowering his head to place soft kisses from her jaw down to her collarbone. "Besides, with you, I could _never_ be bored," he purred against her neck.

" _Zevran…_ " Riel gasped breathlessly.

Immediately Zevran released her as he mentally chastised himself. "I am sorry _mi bella_ … I forgot-"

Riel stepped back into his embrace and kissed him, cutting off his apology. The taste of her lips on his own brought his body roaring to life in an instant. On their own, Zevran's arms pulled Riel flush against his body while one hand clutched at her armor while the other gently fisted her hair. The passion he had previously kept tightly restrained spilled forth the moment her tongue slipped over his, bringing forth a deep moan as she kissed him deeply. It had been so long since he was able to feel her like this, it took all of his will not to toss her over his shoulder and take her back to their tent right that very moment.

Too soon did she pull away however, ending the passionate kiss between them. With her eyes remaining shut tight and her breathing coming in ragged gasps, she nuzzled her face against his own. "I'm trying, Zev…" she whispered softly.

Zevran kissed her forehead and smiled. "And I will be here when you are ready, _mi amor_." He then took hold her hand and stepped backwards, leading her away from the fire. "Until then, I believe there is a certain redhead that needs seeing to, _no_?"

Riel nodded, pushing away the strange mixture of hurt and desire that swirled inside of her. "I just want you to know, it isn't because I don't _want_ to… I just..."

Zevran chuckled softly. "I understand, _mi bella_ ," he reassured her, giving her hand a small squeeze. "Know that you are more than worth any wait. And when you are ready, I will give you memories that will make even _las cortesanas_ of Antiva jealous with envy…" he replied with a lurid wink to match his seductive smile. "Now let us be on our way. Before I am too far tempted by your beauty _mi diosa tentador_."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

The camp of Dalish elves were already busy when Zevran and Riel reached the first araval of the close-knit group of family and friends. With young children running free underfoot while the older ones helped their families attend to their everyday duties, it made Riel suddenly homesick for her own clan. True, she only spent a few years with them, but to her, they had become her family. Even with how distant she always was and the anger she constantly lived with, the small group of elves were the closest thing Riel had to a real home. And now being amongst this clan, Riel had to wonder what her own people would think of her now. Of how much she had changed over these past few months.

"Riel! I am glad you decided to visit with us!"

Riel looked up to see Lanaya walking briskly over to them. Again a small tingle of recognition ebbed in Riel's mind at the sight of the other woman. A sense of familiarity that defied the small amount of time the two of them had actually known each other.

" _Ir abelas,_ Lanaya," she replied contritely. "I did mean to come by last night. I guess I was more tired than I thought…"

Lanaya brushed off her apology and smiled warmly at the couple. "Do not trouble yourself. I am pleased you came by today. In fact, Sarel was just about to begin a story about to tell us a story about the days of Arlathan. Would you like to join us?"

"You do us much honor, Lanaya," Zevran replied with a short bow. "That would indeed please us, wouldn't it, _mi bella_?"

Riel nodded, unable to deny the loving smile he gave to her. "That would be lovely. Thank you."

"Come, this way. Sarel is our clan's storyteller, and his tales are much loved by our people. In fact, he just got back from visiting with his birth clan not too long ago, and he has promised the young ones new stories to tell that he had learned while he was away."

Lanaya led Riel and Zevran to medium sized fire where several logs and makeshift chairs was gathered around. There were already several people sitting in rapt attention as an older male with sandy red hair was speaking in over exaggerated tones to a few children in front of him.

"...and then they sprang forward, brandishing their blades. With a fearsome cry they charged at the shemlen who had been hunting them." Sarel paused as a small whoop of approval burst forth from the children. "The shemlen realized too late that they had been tricked. Before they could even draw their own blades, the foul men were cut down, their blood raining forth and painting the ground red with it." Another cheer from the crowd, this time from the older children and young adults as well.

"Sarel… You know Adana doesn't like you telling that story to them…" Lanaya tsked the man in the center of the crowd.

Sarel laughed, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "You know they love the tales against the shems, Lanaya."

"Perhaps," Lanaya replied, eying the giggling children with mock disdain. "However, we have guests today. Maybe a _different_ type of story is in order? Perhaps one you learned while you were away?"

Sarel abruptly quit his laughter as his eyes drifted over to Riel. His deep brown eyes roamed over her slight frame, almost as if he were appraising her for a funeral rather than a story. Instinctively Riel raised her chin in defiance, unwilling to let his cold stare cow her. It also helped that Zevran's hold around her waist tightened slightly, the small squeeze a silent reminder of his protection.

"Ah yes. The Grey Warden. And this is… her bodyguard, I presume?" Sarel asked, moving his eyes over to Zevran?

Keeping on hand still on Riel's waist, Zevran bowed down with his usual grace and charm. "Zevran Arainai, at your service. Follower, protector, and-" Zevran paused as he looked passionately into Riel's eyes, "devoted lover, when the mood strikes her."

Riel could have strangled him for how embarrassed he made her. She was sure the red tinge of blush went from her browline all the way down her toes. Yet his forthright declaration did manage to make her forget about the defensiveness that she was feeling a moment ago.

A small shift of whispers erupted among the gathered people, especially among the young adults, making Riel's blush worse. The children giggled and some even pointed up at Riel, their whispers being passed behind cupped hands to the person next to them. At that moment, Riel wished she had gone straight to see Leliana. Perhaps then she could have avoided this whole embarrassment.

"Ah, forgive them Warden," Sarel stated, trying futilely to hide his own smirk. "The ways of city elves are different than our own. We mean no disrespect."

"Riel is actually a Dalish, Sarel. Born of Keeper Marethari's clan," Lanaya corrected, her own face flushing.

"A Dalish? Yet she has no…-"

"I was adopted. Well, sort of. I was _accepted_ into her clan," Riel stated, forcing her spine straight and her feet to remain despite how badly she wished to run off and hide.

"I don't understand. Is there a problem?" Zevran asked, looking to the three of them in turn.

A short moment of awkward silence passed before Lanaya finally cleared her throat and spoke up. "Among the Dalish, only adults may take lovers."

"I _**am**_ an adult," Riel snapped, her eyes sparking fire as she glared at Sarel.

"You may say the words, but you do not bear the mark of one who has sought the rite," Sarel replied stonely. "I didn't know the _shemlen_ allowed children to fight their wars for them. Although it shouldn't surprise me, seeing as how they have no problem with killing our _da'len_ where they sleep. Perhaps they think that if they put a sword in the hands of a _flat ear_ youngling, we will not fight to protect our own."

"Sarel! That is **enough!** " Lanaya cursed out angrily. "You shame us! This is a Grey Warden, and you will pay her the respect that is her due!"

Sarel marched swiftly over to where Riel stood, a deep set glower on his face. Beside her, Riel could feel Zevran tense, readying himself to defend her if needed. However, Sarel kept on moving past them, his hurried stride taking him several aravals away before disappearing into a lightly decorated araval that Riel assumed was his.

From beside Riel, Lanaya sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Forgive him. His birth clan… They lost several members when Templar's raided their camp one night. Sarel's younger sister was of mage blood, yet too young to control her powers when the men set upon her. She… The Templar's attempted to use their abilities to quell her magic so they could take her, but they ended up killing her instead. She was… only three years old."

Riel gasped, her hands coming up to cover her mouth as sorrow filled her. "By the Creators!" she cried, letting Zevran pull her into a tight embrace as he comforted her.

"The Templars left with Sarel's mother and two others of mage blood, along with the Keeper's First. The Keeper was allowed to stay, although her was hurt badly. Sarel just found out about it when he returned to visit with them. He is still… dealing with the news."

"A tragedy to be mourned, yet why would he blame Riel of such an act? She is one of your people, is she not?" Zevran asked, his arms still around Riel.

"The reason the Templars found them was because a city elf who was planning to join the Dalish was captured, and they…. They found out the clan's position from him, and that they had mages. The city elf was an apostate himself, and he sought sanctuary within the Dalish. Sarel blames the elf who betrayed the clan's position, and when Sarel saw that Riel is without the Vallaslin, he must have assumed that she was a city elf as well."

"I do not understand. The tattoos on your skin?"

"They are a mark of adulthood among the Dalish. When one reached the age of maturity, one undergoes the rite of Vallaslin. When you announced her as your… And yet she didn't have the Vallaslin…"

Realization came among Zevran as a heavy blow to his chest. He had known that the Dalish often mark themselves when they become adults, but he never thought of why Riel herself didn't have them. Perhaps it was because he knew of her past and how badly she had suffered, that the idea of her without the tattoos just made sense to him.

"Oh, _mi bella_ … I am so sorry…" Zevran whispered sadly down to Riel. "Please forgive me, I wasn't thinking."

"May I ask… How old _are_ you, Riel?" Lanaya asked quietly.

Zevran glared over at the woman and was about to tell her where she could stuff her question, when Riel responded, cutting him off. "I-I don't know," she answered honestly, her head still against Zevran's chest. "However, Keeper Marethari said that I should I desire to, she would schedule the rite for me whenever I was ready. I just… With everything that I…-"

"Say no more. I understand," Lanaya replied with a soft smile. A quiet moment filled the space between the three of them, when after a few minutes Lanaya finally spoke. "Will you two walk with me?" she asked, her arm open wide as she motioned away from the group fire.

Again Zevran was going to speak when Riel cut him off. "Of course," she whispered, wiping at the tears in her eyes. Zevran looked down at her, his eyes offering a silent question if she was sure. Riel smiled sadly and nodded her head, lacing her fingers with before walking alongside Lanaya.

The three of them were silent at first they walked among the clan. Occasionally people would smile or wave at Lanaya and she would return the gesture, yet she remained silent as she led the three of them to the furthest edges of the camp. Finally she stopped by a statue of Fen'Harel, and placed her hand on the hound's head almost affectionately.

"I was adopted too, you know," Lanaya finally said, keeping her eyes on the statue. Smiling fondly, she continued on with her story. "When I was just a little girl, my father was a merchant's assistant in a big city. I don't remember much of that time, but I know I loved my father deeply. He used to buy me sweets when he could afford to. He never raised his voice to me, either. Even when I probably deserved it…" Lanaya's smile disappeared then, her eyes growing cloudy with tear. "One day, our caravan was attacked by bandits. They killed everyone but me. My father tried to protect me, but they… One of them cut off his head right in front of me!"

Lanaya was crying now, and Riel tried to go to her, offering the other woman comfort. However Lanaya shooker head and smiled sadly, stepping back from Riel.

"The bandits kept me for a while. They did… _horrible_ things to me. But if I cooked their meals and didn't fight when they… I was allowed to live. For several years I lived like that, until one day out of nowhere the bandits who I lived with were attacked. They had travelled too close to a Dalish clan, and the clan attacked before the bandits knew they were even there." Lanaya paused, thinking back. "It was… like something out of a dream. Yet for some reason, I _wasn't_ scared. The men who I had lived with for years were suddenly being cut down around me, and I just stood there, watching it all happen. And then, _he_ was there…"

"He?"

Lanaya looked up at Riel and smiled broadly, tears shining in her eyes. "Zathrian. He was a force of nature, casting spells in a deadly fury of power. Yet when he saw me, he stopped, losing the spell he was casting part way through. I was in nothing but dirty rags, with mud and dirt covering me, yet he picked me right up into his arms. Then without a word, he carried me away to his clan, leaving the others to finish off the bandits." Lanaya paused and walked closer to Riel, both women crying openly as they faced each other. "I don't know what you went though. Only you do. However, I recognize the hurt you carry. The pain. And especially the anger. Even when rumors came to us of a young woman being adopted by Marethari's clan, only Zathrian was allowed to know what little details there were. However, I was there when the messenger came to us. I saw the look of pain on his face then, and it was the same the same look he gave to you yesterday when he figured out who you were." Lanaya turned towards the clan's camp, her eyes automatically seeking out the Keeper as he aided the wounded warriors. "It was the same look he gets whenever he thinks of what happened that day he found me... Or when he thinks of his own daughter."

"Zathrian has a daughter?" Riel asked.

"Once. A long time ago," Lanaya replied with a soft sigh. "You see, our people used to live a long time. A lot longer than what we do now. Back during the days of Arlathan, our people could live centuries, and only left this world when they chose the time was right for themselves. We called it the _Uthenera_ \- the Waking Sleep. And somehow Zathrian had managed to regain that lost part of ourselves."

"He is immortal?"

"I am not sure, honestly. I have more… _skepticism_ than others of our clan. All I know is that he was as he is now, Keeper of our clan, when the grandparents of our oldest members were but children. He has watched over us, and taken care of us, for longer than anyone can remember. However, this is the first time in all those years that he has chosen to take on a First. Before, he would train one or two, in case he fell in battle. However, it was never official. And never with such intent. I never knew why he chose me. After all, I wasn't even born a Dalish. Yet, shortly after he received the news from Keeper Marethari about the girl they found, he proclaimed me as his First."

"That must have been a shock. Not just for the you, but for the clan as well."

Lanaya nodded to Riel. "A rival of mine began a rumor that Zathrian had been… _inappropriate_ with me. And that was why I was chosen over them," she scoffed angrily. "Zathrian has always been a _father_ to me! I've always admired the man, and I love him as any daughter would. However, he loves me as a _father_ should. And has _never_ acted otherwise towards me."

"People can be cruel when they become jealous. This is true for any people, whether they be elf, human, or dwarf," Zevran added.

"I never questioned it though," Lanaya smirked sadly. "Not until I saw him look at you with that same look he would still sometimes give to me." Lanaya returned her gaze to Riel's. "Last night I went to him, and I asked him about it. For all these years, I thought that the sad look he would sometimes give to me was because of what _I_ had suffered. However, when I saw that same look of pain in his eyes it reminded me of when the messenger came to us that day. So after the others had gone to bed for the night, I went to him and asked him. I asked him why he looked so sad sometimes. And why after all this time, he chose me to be his First."

"What did he say?"

Lanaya paused as she again sought out Zathrian in the crowd of people. "He told me I reminded him of his daughter…" Lanaya wiped away at the tears that were gathering at her eyes. "Many, many years ago - long before anyone here was even born - Zathrian told me he had a family. He was young then. Before he realized that he had somehow unlocked the ancient immortality of our people. He had fallen in love with a young city elf maiden, and together they had two children. A boy, and a little girl. However, his young wife couldn't let go of the family she had in the city, so she would sometimes visit with them. However, as dangerous as the roads are now for young elves travelling, they were even worse then. And as they do now, bandits would prey on those who travelled them, killing and stealing to suit their needs."

"Oh no…" Riel gasped, already guessing at what was to come.

"His wife was lucky. They killed her almost immediately. However, his son, old enough to have caught his first hunt, died protecting his younger sister. And the girl… Well…"

"Where was Zathrian?" Zevran asked.

"He was gravely wounded, but managed to somehow survive. After he healed enough to stand, he gathered a bunch of the Dalish hunters and went after the bandits. It was too late, however… His daughter already had been… They had already..." Lanaya again wiped at the tears at her eyes. "That day he came upon me, standing in the middle of the chaos of the dying bandits, he said I looked so very much like his own daughter. And since then, he has raised me as his own."

"That is why he chose you to be his First?"

"Last night, he told me about a vision that had come to him months ago. Of a woman coming from west during a time of great darkness on the land. She would become a uniting force between all races that would put an end to the darkness that raged, and that we would know her by those that followed her. And at her heels, she would bring with her his _Uthenera_."

"And is says that woman is me?"

"He told me that at first he wasn't sure. The vision came to him the night the messenger told of the girl that Marethari found. And a few days ago, it came to him again. And then when you told him that _you_ were the one who Marethari found…"

"Oh Lanaya…" Riel whispered.

"I guess I should have known the day that he named me as his First. However, he has been with the clan for so long, to think of us without him as our Keeper… I just thought…"

"No one wishes to think of being without a loved one…" Zevran replied.

"The Dalish have suffered so incredibly much. Beyond our loss of Arlathan and the Dales. Our people suffers even to this day. You and I are proof of that, Riel. However, Zathrian, he is a _good_ man. He has done so very much for our people. Through him, we even have touched a hint at our long forgotten past of when we were _immortal_. And now he walks a man awaiting his death… It is _not_ fair!"

"You're right. It isn't," Riel stated firmly, bringing Lanaya's gaze up to hers. "I _will_ find a way to end this curse upon your clan. And I _will_ find a way to do it while keeping Zathrian alive. It's the least I can do for everything he has done for not just our people, but for me as well."

"Thank you, Riel. I know that you will. The Creators themselves have sent you to us. I know you break this curse, and keep my father safe."


	56. Into the Forest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Parts of this chapter's dialogue is taken from the game Dragon Age: Origins, specifically the quest entitled "The Nature of the Beast." The parts of those dialogue belong to BioWare.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Hermosas damas: Antivan. "Beautiful ladies."
> 
> Pequeño intelecto: Antivan. "Small intellect."
> 
> Mierda: Antivan. "Shit." A common swear word.
> 
> Mythal: Elven goddess of motherhood and protection.

 

 

Leliana heard a soft knocking on the door to the araval and winced. Alistair had only just fallen asleep a short time ago, and she knew he still needed his rest to heal properly. Carefully she pulled herself free from his embrace and quietly shuffled over to the door, making sure to not disturb him.

"Leliana?" Riel's tentative voice whispered through the small wooden door.

Leliana opened the door and slipped outside, a mixture of happiness and apprehensive anxiety washing over her as she came to stand beside her friend. Awkwardly the two women stood in silence, unsure of what to say to the other. Finally Leliana cleared her throat and offered one of her best smiles.

"Are you okay?" she finally said.

"Is he?" Riel offered back, nodding her head towards the araval.

Leliana grinned shyly, tucking her hair behind her ear. "He will be… Eventually…"

"I didn't mean to-"

"Oh I know! Don't worry, I completely understand. What he said was beyond uncalled for," Leliana rushed out, cutting off Riel's apology.

More silence invaded the space between the two women, heavy with words that they both wished to say yet didn't know how. Again, it was Leliana who finally broke the silence.

"Where is Zevran? I do not see him…"

Riel turned and motioned slightly off towards the center of the camp. There standing not too far off in the distance was the familiar blonde elf, speaking with the craftsman Varathorn over by his table. "He said that he wanted to speak with Varathorn about something. I think he more just wanted to give us a chance to talk in private, though…"

"Oh I hate this!" Leliana finally exclaimed in a huff, catching Riel off guard. "I know Alistair is an idiot. I know that he says the _worst_ possible things at the _worst_ possible times. But despite all that, I know he isn't cruel. He doesn't mean to say the awful things that he says. He even wanted me to apologize to you for him!" Leliana was on the verge of tears as she confronted Riel, worry and exhaustion clear on her face as they faced each other. "I can't be made to choose between the two of you! You are my sister, but I… I-"

Riel rushed forward and embraced her friend, wrapping her arms tightly around the other woman. "I am _not_ asking you that! I would _never_ ask that of you!"

"By the Maker! I don't know who is the bigger fool! Him or me!" Leliana cried into Riel's shoulder.

"Him. Definitely him."

Leliana burst out laughing at Riel's comment. "Are you sure? I am pretty sure that loving the man your best friend hates is pretty foolish…"

"True…" Riel sighed. "It's a good thing then that I don't hate the idiot then…"

Leliana pulled back from Riel, a look of shock on her face. "You don't? Even after everything?"

Riel shook her head. "Don't get me wrong. I _really_ don't like him. And I am pretty sure that Zevran is just a hairsbreadth away from killing the bastard. However, I have lived with hate for so long inside of me, I just can't do it anymore. I already have too much for my brain to handle. Between the Darkspawn, this war, people who want me dead just for simply existing, and now my magic going haywire… I-"

"What is going on with your magic?"

"I… I don't know…" Riel shrugged honestly. Ever since the ambush at camp that night, I haven't been able to control it properly. It's as if every little thing sets it off… Which is why I can't really blame Alistair. Even though I _really_ want to. He needed to be knocked down for what he said… But you have to believe me Leliana, I **never** meant to hurt him so badly…"

"Oh Blessed Andraste…" Leliana replied with a giggle. "We are quite the group, aren't we?"

"I take it all is well with you _hermosas damas_?" Zevran purred with his usual charming cadence as he approached the two women. "Although, if you require more time, I am sure I can continue staring luridly from a small distance. After all, the gods surely have gifted me to be able to travel with two such gorgeous women as yourselves."

Both Leliana and Riel blushed profusely, with Leliana giggling like a little girl. "Oh stop you. Your words should comes with a warning label… The trouble I am sure you could cause with them."

"Oh, it is not just my words that get me in trouble, my fair Leliana. I promise you that my tongue has brought me far more trouble than my words have. Isn't that right, _mi bella_?" Zevran purred seductively before leaning into Riel's neck and placing a languid kiss just below her jaw.

"Zevran!" Riel gasped playfully. However before she could say more, the door to the araval beside them opened, revealing a freshly dressed and armored Alistair.

The three of them went instantly quiet, with Zevran instantly tensing beside Riel even though he was the only of them to still retain his smile. Only instead of the warm looks of adoration he had given to Riel, his eyes now sparked a deep hatred and anger even as he smiled jovially up at the ex-Templar.

"Ah ha! And isn't it our favorite Templar! Rested and well healed once more! Now, I do find myself wondering if I need to lend further _lessons_ to you in the proper manners of addressing ladies of worth. Or was my future wife's _instruction_ enough for your _pequeño intelecto_?"

"Alistair! Shouldn't you be resting?" Leliana exclaimed, her features laced with worry. Not just for Alistair's well being after so soon being almost killed, but also because of the obvious animosity sparking between the two men.

However, Alistair just smiled shyly at Leliana before steeling his features and facing both Riel and Zevran. With a heated look of anger towards Zevran, Alistair focused more instead on Riel, his eyes softening into a look of regret and shame.

"I'm an asshole."

Riel stood there speechless for a moment before she finally burst out laughing.

"Right, so not the response I was expecting. But I am I still standing and still have my jaw attached, so I'll take it," he quipped dryly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Alistair, I know you're an ass. I've known for quite some time that you were an ass. However, I also know that for the most part, your mouth isn't attached to your brain."

"Fair point, I know. But-"

Riel held up her hand, stopping him from speaking. "Hold on, I'm not finished. You're rude, crass, and seem to lack any sense when it comes to speaking to women in general. You also seem to think that your experience as not just a _man_ , but a damnable _human_ carries more weight than anyone else who you've been ingrained all your life to think of as ' _lesser_ '. Which would be anyone with pointy ears, or a without a dick between their legs."

Zevran had been trying to hold back his laughter, however Riel's last remark had him actually bursting forth a hearty chuckle. And he wasn't the only one either. From slightly behind and to the side of Alistair, Leliana had her hand clasped tightly over her mouth as she tried holding back her own laughter.

"Now for the most part, I've grown used to it," Riel continued on, ignoring her companions as she stared Alistair down. "However, fate has decreed that I am a tad bit _unstable_ myself lately. In case you haven't noticed, my _abilities_ are not exactly under my full control right now. And it has been playing havoc with my mood, and my general emotions. So while I am willing to at least place your most recent blunder on the rear coals for the time being for the sake of our continued mission, I need you realize something: I _**am**_ unstable right now. By the gods, I nearly electrocuted Zevran the other day just by kissing him!"

"You _what_?" Leliana giggled, unable to hold back any longer.

Riel rolled her eyes and waved off the woman's question. "Never mind that. My point is that… well… I didn't mean to _almost_ kill you. As much as you may have deserved it," she stated gruffly towards Alistair, her arms crossing over her chest. "Still though," she continued, her finger coming up to point directly in Alistair's face as she pinned him with a glare. "As much as I love Leliana, I _**will**_ turn your insides into burnt offerings to Elgar'nan if you hurt her even a _fraction_ of the amount that you have hurt me these past few months. Are we clear?"

"Right… Do you know that you are actually incredibly scary when you get like this?" Alistair asked, taking a step back from Riel.

"Good!" Riel huffed briskly before turning to Zevran. With her eyes on him, the anger and fury in her features melted away instantly, as a warm smile spread across her face. "Now. I'm hungry. It should be getting close to midday meal. I wonder if Lanaya would allow us to share her fire for the meal? I remember those in my clan used to make this absolutely wonderful roast rabbit and herbs, however I never learned how to do it myself. Maybe she'll how they did it." Riel then took Zevran's hand and started leading him away, back towards Lanaya's araval. "Oh I hope she does. It was absolutely wonderful. I know you'll love it, Zevran!"

Alistair and Leliana stayed staring after Riel and Zevran for several moments in shocked silence. Finally Alistair turned to Leliana, his brow raised in a questioning look. "Wow. I uh… I don't even know what to say to that. And judging from my previous history, I probably just shouldn't say anything…"

Leliana giggled and placed a hand on Alistair's armored shoulder. "That is probably for the best, Alistair. Now come on. Riel isn't the only one who is hungry. And I am sure you could use to have a good meal as well."

"Wait, Leliana…" Alistair began, taking her hand in his. However, he suddenly found the words he wanted to say lost in the jumble of emotions and that swirled inside of him. "I just want to say… Thank you… For staying with me."

Leliana smiled shyly, swiftly brushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. She then reached up on her toes and placed a chaste kiss to the corner of Alistair's mouth. "Of course I did. Where else would I be?" she whispered softly to him. Leliana then took his hand in hers, and led him in the same direction that Riel and Zevran had just left in.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Riel did one last check of her side pack to make sure that it was fully stocked before raising her eyes to her companions. Thanks to the hunters of the Dalish, Bodahn and Sandal were well protected staying back in camp, with Sandal even helping Varathorn enchant a few of his weapons. Bodahn was more than pleased, hoping to be able to set up Dalish contacts for future trading. Not to mention staying behind kept he and his boy much safer from the rabid attacks of the dreaded werewolves.

"One last thing, Warden," Zathrian stated cautiously. "Werewolves are not like your average beast. They are stronger, faster, and their bite is the source of their curse. If you find yourself bitten, you have between hours or days before you too will transform into a mindless creature such as them. The timing depends on how deep the bite went, but make no mistake - one bite is enough to start the transformation."

"We'll be careful," Riel replied, smiling up at the Keeper. She then looked over at the others. "Everyone ready?"

"Are you sure you are well enough, Riel? I mean…-" Wynne offered, worry etching her elderly yet still beautiful face.

"I'm fine. Besides, fighting helps to ease the tension," she replied, dismissing the woman with her hand. She tried to keep the annoyance out of her voice, but by the look on Wynne's face, it was obvious her words were harsher than she meant them. Sighing, Riel checked her bracers one last time before whistling out for her hound. With a happy bark Fen'harel bounded up to her, his tail wagging back and forth. "You're going to be my scout today. These forests are thick with heavy brush and knotted trees, making it hard to see in some areas. I'm counting on your nose to help flush out the beasts."

Immediately the hound nodded his head, offering up an excited bark in response. He then took off down a lightly trodden path that led away from the Dalish camp and into the forest. Feeling a similar rush of excitement for battle, Riel pulled her daggers from their sheathe and followed after her hound.

The Brecilian forests were not free from dangers, even apart from the dreaded werewolves. Bears, giant spiders, walking trees, regular wolves and even bandits made their homes in amongst the thickly wooded areas. What few battles Riel and the others found were over with quickly, as she sliced her way through flesh and bone with Zevran at her side. One of the bandits even had a good size purse on him, offering up several dozen gold sovereigns and even several gemstones.

However, as the sun overhead moved higher in the sky, the heat of the forest began weighing heavily on Riel. She didn't remember the forest of her people being so humid, even during the summer months, yet there was no denying the hot flashes that she was getting as they walked along the ancient pathways. Then, almost as if a boon granted to a hidden wish, Riel's sensitive ears picked up the sound of a roaring waterfall. Smiling she turned to Zevran beside her.

"You hear that? Creators! I feel as if it's been ages since I last had a proper soak in water!" Riel exclaimed, before dashing off towards the sound.

"Riel! Wait! _Mierda_!" Zevran hissed out before racing after her. She had been acting strangely all that day, causing the normal amount of concern that he usually felt for his lady Warden to increase. Yet, he wasn't prepared for her to simply run off like that. Normally his Riel exercised more caution when they travelled. This was just one more strange behavior that she had exhibited.

Over a small hill and around a twisting bend of little valleys, Zevran and the rest of their companions followed. Her giggling laughter leading him more often than a visual sight of her. Growing irritated, Zevran tried calling out to Riel more than once, yet she only responded back in the same giggling tone, urging him to follow her faster. From behind him, Zevran knew that the others followed as quickly as they could, yet the sole focus of mind was catching up to his Riel.

A focus that turned into a demanding drive when the giggling laughter suddenly stopped and was replaced by a shriek.

"Riel!" Zevran called out, forcing his body to move faster through the trees. With daggers in hand, Zevran burst out from the thick brush into a small clearing by a waterfall. And standing in front of the flowing waters were a small pack of enormous werewolves. A few feet away was Riel, her own blades already out and ready. Her stern face was a picture of raw determination as she eyed each creature, even as one of her arms bled from an open wound.

"It seems as if the Watchwolves have spoken truly, my brothers!" the lead werewolf stated in a half growl. Standing on its hind legs like a man, the beast could easily match Sten for height and width. Yet there was no denying the beastial power and carnage that flowed in its long limbs and furcoated body. It may have stood and spoke as a man, but this being was a beast of the wilds. "The Dalish were foolish enough to send more hunters into our woods! And not just them, but hu-mans as well!"

Zevran quickly eyed the distance between himself and Riel, his mind working on how to make it past the creatures her. Altogether there were four of the beasts, standing on their hind legs between the two of them. Yet instead of attacking, the lead creature continued to speak.

"To bring hu-mans in our lands to repay us for our attack…. To put us in our place! What bitter irony!" it growled, shifting its attention to slightly beyond Zevran where the rest of the companions had come through the brush.

"Talking werewolves… Right… Now I _really have_ seen everything…" Alistair murmured as he drew his blade and shield.

"We are no longer simple mindless beasts! Let that thought chill your spine!" The lead werewolf then turned again to Riel, its shrew yellow eyes fixing on her as if imagining the taste of her flesh. "You speak to Swiftrunner. I lead my cursed brothers. Turn back now and return to the Dalish! Tell them that you have failed! Tell them that we will gladly watch them suffer the same curse that we have suffered for too long! We will watch the **pay!** "

"I've come for the heart of Witherfang! To put an end to this curse!" Riel angrily spat out.

"You know nothing! Not of this curse! And not of who you serve! Leave now or you will suffer just as they do!" Swiftrunner roared out, his long claws flexing in the noonday sun.

Zevran slowly walked towards Riel, keeping his blades out and facing the beasts. Each step carefully measured, and his eyes never wavering far from the werewolves in front of him. Yet still a familiar charming smile graced his soft lips, even as his eyes burned with deadly promises.

"You know, I have seen many things in my travels. However, never have I seen creatures such as yourselves. Talking birds, talking rocks…. Even once I heard tales of a talking fish. But never a talking wolf. I see you are not of the normal werewolves that have hunted the lands. Perhaps there is a better way other than bloodshed to solve our differences, _no_?"

"Was it not Zathrian who sent you? He and his people only wish our destruction!" growled Swiftrunner.

"Perhaps. But I am not Zathrian. I am far too handsome," Zevran stated with a wink towards Riel. "What he wants may not necessarily be what myself and my lady Warden wish. Is that not so, _mi bella_?" Zevran purred to Riel, finally coming within reach of her.

"Are you and your people willing to talk, beast?" Riel shouted, her voice thick with restrained anger.

"Talk? You Dalish do not talk!" Swiftrunner spat out indignantly. "Yet soon enough you will scream! And we will watch this curse claim every single one of you! Now leave this forest while you still can! Run to the Dalish and tell them they are doomed!" Swiftrunner then turned to the others by it's side. "Come my brothers! Let this forest deal with intruders as it always has!" Swiftrunner and the rest of the werewolves then leapt away, far outside of the reach of any blade or spell that could reach them.

As soon as they were out of sight, Zevran pulled Riel tightly against him. "Riel what were you thinking?!" he cursed out. "This forest is no place for games!"

Riel pushed herself away and glared up at him. "I was thinking that I spent years in these forests! I was thinking that I was hot! And tired! And that I wanted to, I don't know, be normal for once! Instead of always fighting and always looking over my shoulder! And yeah, I know it was stupid, okay? Creators forbid that I actually ever have a bit of fun!" she spat out before turning on her heel and walking off towards the waterfall. She then quickly turned back around and pointed at Zevran, her voice heavy with anger. "I _**am**_ going to go wash up, though! And I want to be left **alone** while doing it!" Again Riel turned and stormed off, leaving the rest of her companions behind.

Zevran started to go after her, by Wynne lightly placed her hand on his arm, halting him. "Sometimes it is best to leave a woman to work though her anger on her own," she stated softly.

"She was just attacked after going off alone! How could you say she should be alone now?" Zevran asked incredulously.

"We will stay close by in case she needs us. The area with the waterfall is secluded enough I think, where she won't be surprised without something coming through us, however. She will be fine."

"She was wounded though…! On her arm. And perhaps in other places! I wasn't able to see her fully!"

"And if she needs me to heal her, she will come to me," Wynne calmly replied.

Zevran let loose a string of curses as he paced around in a circle. Finally he stopped and glared off in the direction where Riel had gone. "Very well. However, when she returns, I want you to see to her, even _if_ she doesn't come to you first. Agreed, mage?"

Wynne bowed her head slightly. "Of course. Now. Shall we set up a small fire? I could use some tea."

Zevran rolled his eyes and walked past the elder mage, ignoring the strong urge that flowed inside of him to hurt something. Instead he tried to focus his frantic mind on something other than the woman he loved, alone and probably in pain without him. Something he wasn't very good at.

For a moment Wynne let her assured and comforting smile drop as she stared off towards where Riel disappeared. For as much as she tried to comfort the young elf in regards to their Warden, Wynne knew that if her suspicions were correct, their problems were only just beginning. And that worried her even more.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" Riel repeatedly cursed at herself as she sat at the edge of the water.

She knew how incredibly idiotic it was to run off the way that she did. Truth of the matter was, for a moment there she had forgotten about the war against the Darkspawn and the Blight and the thousand other problems that plagued her. She wasn't a Grey Warden anymore, cursed and slowly dying. She was as she was during her time with her own clan. Back in her forest, free and without burden. True her time among her people had been colored by her still roaring anger and deep emotional wounds, but when Riel was alone in the forest, she found a peace there that she had never known.

And she felt that again today. Only this time it seemed better somehow. Felt more real. As if for the first time in her life, she felt as if she was who she should have always been. An elf woman, dancing in the ancient woods of her people. Without care or worry.

Until of course, she stumbled upon the werewolves, that is.

"How are you going to fix this one, huh Riel?" she mumbled to herself, looking down at the gash in her arm. All in all, it didn't look too bad. The potion she had swallowed had already healed much of the damage, and with the blood washed off it looked like barely more than a scratch right now. However, that wasn't the wound that made Riel's stomach twist or her heart beat furiously in her chest.

With a wince, Riel pulled up the short skirt of her battledress. There was an oozing open wound. The skin around it was red and inflamed, and even with the potion Riel could still see the marks where the creature's teeth had sunk into her flesh.

"Mythal… I really _**am**_ cursed now, aren't I?" she whispered to herself, tears flowing in her silver eyes.


	57. Hunting a Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Qalaba: Qunlat. A type of cow that the Qunari breed known for its stupidity.
> 
> Basra: Qunlat. Rude term for non-Qunari people.
> 
> Absolutamente hermosa: Antivan. "Absolutely beautiful."
> 
> Emma lath: Elvhen. "My love."

 

The pain in Riel's upper leg continued to build as the day wore on, intensifying her foul mood. With each step, a sharp stab of pain ricocheted through her body, sending waves of nausea that more than once had her nearly emptying her stomach. Yet each time Zevran or anyone else asked if she was alright, Riel dismissed their questions with growing irritation.

The one good piece of news is that the wound seemed to be draining her magic as her body instinctively tried to heal itself. Well, perhaps not _entirely_ good news, as the drain also made her lethargia worse and her mood even more sour. However, it kept it her from accidentally frying one of her companions with magic whenever they asked _yet again_ if she was actually alright.

By the time they retrieved a magical acorn for an ancient, rhyme speaking sylvan, Riel felt sure she was on the verge of a complete breakdown. True, the pain she suffered in was intense. However, pain was something Riel was used to. Even the bitter anger that boiled inside of her was something that she was familiar with. However, it was something else that twisted those two defining things into something else inside of her. A deep carnal savagery brewed and churned under her skin, clawing even further away at her sanity with every hour that passed.

"Now I know why dwarves stay underground! I feel like a nug wrapped in coal and placed in an oven!" groused Oghren.

"And now **I** understand why my people have avoided yours, dwarf," Sten angrily grumbled from beside Oghren. "You _basra_ whine more than a _qalaba_ in heat."

"Are we sure that the talking tree was right? We've been walking for hours inside this blasted forest!" huffed Alistair, sweat glistening off his brow as he trudged alongside of Leliana near the rear of the group. "I mean, I'm quite sure we passed this turn off before…"

"The whiny knight is correct. Over there is even the bodies of those loathsome Darkspawn that I crushed earlier." Shale lumbered over the bodies she motioned to and purposefully stepped on the skull of an already dead genlock. "Hmm… Still squishy too…"

Wynne coughed and covered her nose with the sleeve of her robe. "Oh my… I do believe the smell gets worse over time as well…"

"Oh was that really necessary?" Alistair cursed, his face turning a mildly shade of green. "By the Maker, that is foul!"

"Come now, Alistair. 'Tis no worse than the odor coming from your tent at night," Morrigan quipped snidely.

Riel stopped in her march, lifting her hand to her forehead. The constant bantering of her companions was either something she usually ignored, or could even find amusing at times. However today, it seemed as if all their voices acted as if knife points on glass to her sensitive ears.

"Riel, are you-"

"I swear Zevran, if you ask me if I am _alright_ **one** more time, I will flay you alive and use your body for werewolf bait!" Riel angrily seethed as she pinned the other elf with a deadly glare. She then turned her focus to the others behind her, her barely controlled fury causing the air around her to snap with magical energy. "And for the love of the Creators, will the rest of you just **shut up?!** " she half growled, half shouted.

Instantly her companions quieted, a look of shock on their collective faces. All except for Zevran, whose eyes narrowed and lips pursed together. It wasn't the first time that she had raised her voice to them that day. In fact, it wasn't even the first time that hour. However, there a particular gravelly nature to Riel's voice then as she shouted that had Zevran's mind reeling.

Before he could comment on it, however, Fen'harel began growling and barking, alerting them all to enemies. Just then the heavy fog that blanketed the surrounding area pulled back, revealing a half dozen werewolves blocking the path forwards. And at the front of the pack was Swiftrunner, the one who had spoken to them before.

"It seems as if the forest is not as diligent as we had hoped," Swiftrunner growled out. His yellow eyes then narrowed on Riel, his features turning in an almost wolfish sneer. "You are stronger than I thought for fighting the change as long as you have. However, your strength will not aid you now. Too far have you travelled inside of our territory, yet you will go no further! However, I will see you dead before you continue to threaten our Lady!"

The werewolves at Swift Runner's side roared out then attacked, their sharpened claws acting as small daggers as they slashed at Riel and the others. The pain emanating from Riel's leg grew hotter as she fought, bringing forth an almost feralness to her attacks as she fought back. A quick slice of her blade cut through a darkly coated werewolf's neck, spraying her face with its blood. The sensation of the blood hitting her tongue brought forth a madness inside of Riel, causing her to drop her blades and swing out with her bare hands. Hands that now sported long claws instead of fingers.

Three more of the werewolves fell lifeless to the ground before Riel's feral eyes dropped onto Swiftrunner. With a frenzied growl she launched herself at the creature, yet was knocked back at the last moment by a hard body check to her left side. The force of the attack sent Riel rolling to the ground, yet she immediately was on her feet again, growling and snapping a jaw that held oversized incisors instead of her regular teeth.

In front of Swiftrunner was a pure white wolf with emerald green eyes. It's sparkling fur was without blemish or speck of dirt, and seemed almost impossibly white for an animal's coat. For a moment the wolf stared at Riel, relaxed and non threatening. In fact, it's eyes almost seemed to convey regret and even…. sadness. The wolf then lifted its head and let out a deep howl, the sound sending chills down Riel's spine. The sound carried an eerie quality to it, almost as if the Fade itself lived within the creature's voice. And for some reason, the sound of it soothed the raging fury inside of Riel, pulling back the crashing waves of insanity that had gripped her tightly.

Riel felt the energy leaving her, dropping her down to her knees. With a gasping breath she cursed, her body fighting against itself as the madness of a few moments ago left her. Only when the howl ceased did Riel lift her head and look upon the wolf once more. Again she saw a glimmer of sadness in its ethereal green eyes. And then the wolf was gone, bounding away and disappearing into the forest beyond. And following swiftly behind it were the remaining werewolves, leaving Riel and her companions once more alone.

Beside her, Riel could feel a familiar presence, however the words being spoken to her were muffled and distant in her ears, preventing her from understanding what was being said. However, the arms that encircled her she knew. The scent of Antivan spices and sunshine a soothing balm and steady anchor that pulled her steadily back to reality.

When her eyes could again focus, Riel found herself lying face up and looking into the worried stare of the only man she ever loved. Grief and a consuming sadness overtook her, knowing without words that her secret was out. If her earlier behavior was not clue enough to the dire curse she now carried, then the battle just then was loud and clear in its message and intent.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Zevran whispered down to her.

"What would it solve?" she answered back dejectedly. "We have to get the heart either way. And if I…. If I couldn't, I knew you would."

Zevran cradled Riel's body to his own, tears pricking at his eyes. Yet he would not shame her or himself by crying now. After all, tears would do nothing to aid them now. Stifling his own emotions, Zevran fixed a smile to his face and instead called upon his humor as always did in moments such as this.

"I know you have become more adventurous in bed, _mi amor_. However if you wanted to test a more wide side to our lovemaking, there are far easier ways…" Zevran chuckled darkly.

"Well, you know me. Always doing everything the hard way…" Riel replied, a sad smile on her lips.

"Indeed…" Zevran smirked, sadly pushing a lock of her hair away from her face.

They stayed like that for several moments, each staring wordlessly at the other. The heavy silence speaking far clearer than either of them could. Eventually Zevran leaned down and lightly kissed Riel's forehead, speaking a soft prayer to the gods against her skin. He then stood, taking Riel carefully with him. When they were both on their feet, Zevran placed his arm around Riel's waist and hugged her close to him before addressing the others.

"We have a wolf to hunt, _no_? Perhaps if we hurry, I can have a new white fur to adorn our bed by this evening!" Zevran remarked jovially. He then turned to Riel, his eyes carrying a sadness in them despite the easy smile on his face. "Would you like that, _mi bella_? Or would you like Leliana to help you create something more fashionable? Maybe a lovely shawl out of white fur? Beaded, _yes_? And I am sure a necklace made out of wolf teeth would look _absolutamente hermosa_ on your delectable neck…" he purred, lifting his hands to gently caress the nape of Riel's neck.

"That sounds wonderful, _emma lath_ ," Riel answered back with a sad smile.

"And here I yet again prove my usefulness to you. 'Tis truly a wonder what you do without my aid," Morrigan quipped dryly as she approached Zevran and Riel. In her hand was a small vial filled with what looked like a thick black liquid. "Take it. 'Twill not stop the change, but it will bide us much needed time."

"What is it?" Riel asked, eying the liquid carefully.

"'Tis far better that you do not know that, my friend. Take comfort only in knowing that it will aid you."

Riel popped the cork of the vial and immediately her eyes began to water from the foul stench emanating from it. Coughing, she gagged painfully before staring at the witch. "Oh by the Creators, Morrigan! It smells worse than smushed Darkspawn!"

"Yes well, I _had_ thought that only the fool Alistair would be idiot enough to get himself bitten. So I _may_ have added a tad few things extra to make it worse than it should have been." At Riel's increased look of skepticism, Morrigan groaned, raising her hands in the air in frustration before pinning Riel with a glare. "'Tis not poison! If I hadn't killed off the sorry excuse for reused swamp slime by now, I 'twould not do so now! Just hold your nose if you must as you drink it down. You will need several more before this mission is over and the curse is lifted. So you might as well get this one over with now. Or have I misjudged you all this time and you would actually _prefer_ to turn into a slobbering mindless beast? After all, I am sure that Alistair would highly enjoy finally having someone to speak with who has the same level of intelligence as he does."

"You know, one of these days Morrigan…" Alistair muttered, the rest of his sentence trailing off into a string of curses.

"Yes yes, you will smite me with your abilities and take me to a Tower, where I am sure they will attempt their wretched Tranquil barbarism on me. Now whether this is before or after you purposely fail to defend me against attacks, I am sure will depend on the moment. Not that it would be the first time I have suffered due to your lack of guardsman skills…" Morrigan bit back annoyed. She again turned her focus to Riel, her eyes softening slightly even if her voice didn't. "Now what shall it be? Ravenous beast? Or suffer horribly I am sure through the potions that I have brewed for just such an occasion?"

Riel felt her ire raise, her temperament which was already precarious due to her unstable magic, now bordered on volcanic levels of instability. Yet she stamped down her rising anger, and fixed a heated glare on the witch. Then without removing her silver eyes from the other woman's own brilliant yellow, Riel downed the wretched vial of liquid. Immediately her gag reflex tried to reject the vile concoction, yet Riel forced it stay down by sheer force of will alone.

"Good. _Now_ we may continue our hunt," Morrigan replied with a smirk. She almost turned to walk off before once more meeting Riel's eyes. "And the assassin is correct. A white fur shawl would look… _pleasing_ … on you. It would also be warm, and rather practical."

Riel shook her head and sighed. "Alright people," she stated, addressing the others. "Time to go fetch us a heart."


	58. An Ancient Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Chapter rated 18+ (M) for adult themes.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Emma lath: Elvhen. "My love."
> 
> Ma falon: Elvhen. "My friend."
> 
> Dareth shiral: Elvhen. "Stay safe/safe journey."
> 
> Ar lasa mala revas: Elvhen. "You are free./I give you your freedom."
> 
> Tu será la muerte de mí: Antivan. "You will be the death of me."
> 
> Dirth melavir: Elvhen. "Talk/speak later."

The twisting and fogged forested paths they followed soon opened up to reveal an ancient and moss covered ruins. The old stone walls were mostly caved in, with vines and rotted trees covering most of the visible stonework. A singular path led to a stone stairway leading down into the ground where only the gods themselves knew what was waiting for them. However, their choices at that point were fairly limited.

Time was slowly erasing the calm that Riel had managed to find from the white wolf's howl. Already her skin prickled and itched, and while the pain in her leg had lessened somewhat, that too was slowly increasing with each passing moment. So onward the group of them went, passing by ancient weathered statues and overgrown tributes to long forgotten gods and heroes.

"Is this elven? The workmanship is odd…" Leliana remarked as they passed by a barely intact statue of a woman with the head of a halla.

"That is a statue of Ghilan'nain, the Elvhen goddess of the Halla," Riel answered, stepping up beside Leliana. "However, the clothes she is depicted wearing are odd. Almost human like…"

"I thought the ancient elves were at war with the humans?"

"They were. My people spent years fighting against first the humans from the north. From what my keeper told me, the Elvhen used to rule all of Thedas, from the Northern Anderfalls, all the way down to the very edges of Kokari Wilds. Then the humans came from somewhere beyond the mountains and seas, and began a war with my people that lasted for centuries."

"I may not be a nug licking stonesmith, but I know human craftsmanship when I see it. And this 'ere is definitely human made."

Riel walked over to where Oghren was examining an intricate carving alongside a fractured wall. The carving was worn away in many areas, but there still some areas that could still be made out under the light of a torch. Looking over the scene that adorned the wall, Riel gasped audibly.

"Are those _humans_ alongside elves?" Riel breathed, her hand coming out to lightly touch a carving of a man.

The ancient colors had mostly bled free, and much of the depiction was hard to make out. However, the picture of a man that Riel ran her fingers over lacked the distinctive pointed ears and slender frame of the elven peoples. Moreover, it was clear the man was offering something to a group of onlookers. It was not a scene of war or battle against humans, but one of a peaceful event in which something was shared among the two peoples.

"Clearly there is much to the past that we still do not know…" Zevran remarked from beside Riel.

Riel remained speechless as she looked at the carving, her mind lost within itself. Moving down the wall, the pictures that were still able to be made out told a fractured tale of peace and bounty. Of companionship between the two different species, even holding hands or embracing each other.

"Look at this!" Leliana exclaimed, pulling Riel's attention from the wall.

Further inside past the statue of Ghilan'nain, was another statue, taller and more detailed than the others. This one was a woman with long flowing hair, an arm crossed over her midsection while her other hand lightly touched her face in a thinking pose. What was most peculiar about her however was that the woman wore a magnificent headdress that had several bound horns protruding from it. Two horns on either side swept back from the front of the crowned headdress, with what looked like a dark cloth wrapped around each one.

"I have never seen a statue like this! Have you Riel?"

Riel remained still, her eyes transfixed on the statue of the woman before her. Something about the statue called out to Riel in some unknown way, pulling at her memory like a long forgotten dream. Thoughts of a wooded glen came to her mind, where even the air was still and not even the birds sang. Of staring up into the night sky as she begged for peace. And the echo of a woman's voice, chuckling softly as she comforted Riel with her warm presence.

"Riel!?"

Riel came back to herself suddenly, disoriented and slightly dizzy. Looking up, she was surprised to find Zevran's arms around her while both he and Leliana looked upon her with worried looks on their faces. Feeling a flush of embarrassment, she pushed herself up and stood.

"Perhaps we should dally less and continue on with our journey? Lest that loathsome mabari find itself a playmate in his former master?" Morrigan snidely remarked before offering Riel a slight nod of her head.

" _Mi bella_ …" Zevran whispered sadly, lifting his hand to lightly touch Riel's cheek. He wanted to say so much to her, yet the words became lost in his throat as he looked at her. The guise of calm assurance that he carried for her strained ever more as he watched her battle yet another cruelty of fate laid upon her. Still he managed to pull a smile onto his face for her before taking her hand in his and giving it a slight squeeze. "Come. Morrigan is right. And I have a promise of a wolf fur shawl to deliver to my lady," he added with a playful wink.

The ancient ruins held many hallways and twisting passageways that worked themselves deep underground. However, unlike the ruins of the dwarven people's underground cities and towns, these ruins were not carved out of the ground itself. Instead they seemed as if they were once crafted on the surface, and somehow had sunk into the depths that they now were. Caved in windows, shaped ceilings, and rooms filled in with dirt and collapsed roofs were evidence that the halls that the group now walked used to look out into the forested paths above and were never meant to be sunk down into the ground that now housed them.

Walking along the dilapidated halls, Riel suddenly felt a particular vibration in her body. Wholly different than the dire chill that spread through her as a warning of nearby Darkspawn, this feeling was almost warm and needful. Like a calling from a child or a friend long lost. Stopping midstep, Riel closed her eyes, trying to pinpoint where the feeling was coming from.

" _Mi bella_?" Zevran asked, his hand coming up and resting at the base of her spine. "Do you need another of Morrigan's potions?"

"There is… something here…" Riel answered cryptically.

She then turned and followed a darkened hall downwards, passing by more carvings and small statues. Concerned, Zevran and the others followed silently behind her as she led them almost without thinking past several rooms and turn offs until they finally reached a nearly fully collapsed room deep within the ruins.

This is where the vibration was coming from. Riel could feel it pulling on her, calling out to her through the ether and physical space. The room itself looked as if it might have once been a library, with old decaying shelves housing nearly ashen remnants of books, papers, and scrolls. However, much of the room was lost under the heavy weight of the surface above, offering only a small portion of what was probably a grand room dedicated to learning and knowledge.

However, through good or ill luck, whatever was calling out to Riel was fairly close to the entrance of the room. Kneeling down, Riel began to search for the source of the humming in her body. Hidden away behind rotted boxes and debris, she finally found it. A black gemstone, no larger than her palm glistened in the torchlight her companions carried. Slowly Riel reached out for it, her mind filled with the same urgent humming.

"Wait, Riel! Should you be touching that?" Zevran asked, pulling Riel's hand away before she could clasp it.

"It's _calling_ to me, Zevran…" Riel pleaded, taking her hand back from him.

"Precisely why you shouldn't touch it!" he hissed.

Riel rolled her eyes. "Trust me!" she snapped back.

"I _do_ trust you. It is strange magical gemstones that I do not trust…" he groused.

Riel ignored his continued protests however and again reached out for the gem. This time she managed to take hold of it before Zevran could again pull her away, much to Zevran's obvious displeasure. Surprisingly it was warm to the touch, fitting nicely in the palm of her slender hand. Perfectly smooth on all sides, it looked like no other stone Riel had ever seen. Upon closer examination under the light of the torches, the murky blackness of the stone pulled back to reveal small pinprick sparkles of light inside. Almost as if the night sky itself had somehow been captured inside this one small stone.

"It's beautiful…" Riel gasped, totally engrossed by the sight of the glittering gem in her hands.

Suddenly in her mind flashed a flickering image of people running, startling her. Then the sounds of people shouting. Screams for help echoed in her mind, nearly causing her to fall over.

"Riel!" Zevran exclaimed, his arms going around her to help keep her upright.

More images flashed through her mind, clearly of a different time, yet something inside of Riel told her it was the same people from the first vision. This time people were laughing, and cheering. Almost as if they were celebrating at a party. The tinkling of glasses in salute could be heard, along with the sound of children's laughter.

From outside of her, Riel could hear the voices of her companions, yet their words seemed too far distant for her to hear clearly. Instead her mind filled with more fractured images, of swords and magic and people fighting. More people running, a child crying out for his mother. Yet through all the chaos, a single voice stretched out to her, more impression of intent than words forming itself in her mind.

_Help. Help. Help me._

The insistent pleading carried the same vibration that had guided Riel to this room. Only this time instead of wailing sadness, a small feeling of hope sparked from the vibration. As if an entity were melding its emotions to Riel's, and conveying its desires through them.

 _What are you?_ Riel asked in her mind, not sure if she would get an answer.

The vibrations changed, suddenly backing off, as if it were unsure. Curious. No, forgetful. It had forgotten. A feeling of long expanse of time filled Riel, speaking of a long eternity of waiting, longing, and hoping. Of crying out and never being answered. Until today. Too much time had passed, and much of what this entity's memories were now lost. However, one image remained. Brought forth by Riel's question. Something long forgotten, yet slight remnants sparking to life.

Magic. Spells. Energy folding and obeying its master as the very elements were harnessed and controlled. A mage. Powerful in the ways of magic and spells, yet that wasn't all the entity showed her. The image of a sword was next. Slicing through targets of wood. Rendering the bodies made of flesh and bone. A sword infused with the very magics born within the mage himself. Wielded not in opposition, but melded together as one. Two sides of not just the same coin, but the same side of that coin. Inseparable. Magic and steel. Energy and might.

_Arcane Warrior._

_Is that what you were_? she asked again in her mind. _How did you end up like this?_

Again the entity pulled back, uncertainty filling it. Images from before came back to Riel's mind. Of fighting and shouting. Explosions. People running, and tripping over themselves. Children wailing as mothers cried out for them.

_There was a fight? An attack?_

The images in Riel's mind switched to that of a grand library, and hands pulling frantically at the books there. Looking for something. The bitter taste of fear filled Riel's mouth as the cries of people dying beyond her sight echoed off the walls. A book was then in front of her, and hands not her own were skimming down the pages, searching and searching. A rounded clear gem was placed next to the book, and a voice hastily spoke out. The words were lost to time and eroded memory, but the meaning was clear. It was a spell. Meant to trap a soul inside a gemstone, much like the one that Riel now held in her hands.

 _You thought that someone would find you. Bring you back. But they never came, did they?_ Riel asked the entity.

A feeling deep sorrow filled Riel, a reflection of what the trapped entity felt. Long years beyond counting the entity had waited. Sleeping for a time, only to reawaken and mourn anew. Trapped forever in the darkness of the gem, it had gone mad, then back to sanity, only to go mad once more. It took years for it finally give up all hope of being rescued. Years more for it accept its fate. Unable to die, yet unable to move beyond this plane of existence. Alone, with only his own mind to keep him company.

_Help me. Help. Me._

Again came the pleading intent. A pitiful cry for release from his eternal torment of isolation and darkness.

 _How can I help you?_ she asked.

The entity went quiet for a moment, as if thinking. Then an image of the library from before came to Riel's mind. Of an altar dedicated to their gods sitting atop a table near the entrance. There on the altar in the image, was a metal plaque engraved with a beautiful text that Riel couldn't make out.

_Stone. Altar._

_Place the stone on the altar? Then what?_

The image of a hammer coming down on anvil came to Riel's mind. Followed by an explosion of bright light, then a deep swelling of relief.

 _Alright. I will release you._ Riel told the entity.

Immediately a deep feeling of happiness and warmth spread through Riel. Gratefulness so profound that it brought tears to even her own eyes consumed her.

Coming out of her internal daze, Riel opened her eyes to find the worried looks of her companions standing over her. With soft prayers in Antivan finally reaching her ears, Riel finally felt Zevran's arms wrapped tightly around her, his forehead pressed against her own as he prayed.

"Zevran?" she whispered hoarsely.

Immediately Zevran opened his eyes, tears glistening in the honey depths as he gazed upon her.

"Riel!" he exclaimed, his voice breaking as he suddenly pulled her tightly against him in a crushing embrace. "By the gods, I thought I lost you!" he cried against her neck.

Riel held onto him, letting him express his grief and relief without comment. From around her, she could hear other gasps of relief from her companions. A feminine hand no doubt belonging to Leliana even came forward and lightly squeezed Riel's knee.

"Don't you _ever_ do that again!" Zevran hissed against her.

The moment that Riel had grasped the strange stone, she began to convulse, her body twitching in awful spasms. Yet no matter how hard Zevran had tried to pry the stone from her closed hand, her fingers would not budge. Giving up, he pleaded with both Morrigan and Wynne to aid her. Yet even their combined magics could not waken Riel. Wynne concluded that she wasn't being hurt despite the way her body twitched, and that short of physically removing Riel's whole hand, there was no way to remove the stone. Something that Zevran was beginning to seriously consider.

It was Morrigan however that provided the most comfort, surprisingly.

"'Tis no work of a demon," she had told him. "The magics in that gem may be ancient, but they are of this world, not the Fade. No doubt a mild trap that was left here from back when these ruins were still used. And while she may twitch, her heart still beats and is not in distress. Whatever it is, it was not meant to be lethal. I suspect she shall awaken soon."

And so Zevran had prayed. To the Maker and his bride Andraste. To the Creators of the Dalish. To any gods that would listen. To please bring his Riel back to him.

Pulling back from her slightly so he could once again look into her silver eyes, Zevran smiled as joy replaced his earlier fear. " _Tu será la muerte de mí_ …" he whispered softly.

Riel smiled back, even though she was unsure of what he said. However, even without knowing the meaning, it was clear that he worried over her. "Worrying about me, were you?"

"Always… However, next time-"

"Yes, no touching sparkly gemstones that I find in abandoned ancient ruins that magically call out me," Riel finished for him.

Zevran chuckled darkly. "To put it mildly…"

Riel placed her hand on his cheek and pulled him down for a quick kiss. "I'm fine, Zevran. However, I have a promise to keep."

"A promise?"

"First, help me up." Zevran helped Riel to stand, yet still remained close to her, his hand never leaving her. Riel then looked down at the stone that she still clutched in her hand and smiled sadly. "If I was trapped somewhere, alone and in pain, you would do anything to free me, wouldn't you?" she asked, keeping her eyes on the stone.

"Of course!" Zevran quickly replied. "There is no force on this world that would prevent me from doing so."

Riel lifted her eyes to meet his. "Which is why I made my promise. No one deserves that."

Zevran looked upon her quizzically even as she smiled brightly at him. "I do not understand, _mi bella_ …"

Instead of answering, Riel looked around what was left of the once grand library. A part of her mourned how much time has withered and destroyed such a beautiful place of knowledge. How her keeper would have loved to be where they were now, even with so little left due to the passage of time. It was a keeper's place to collect and preserve the knowledge of the past. To rediscover what was lost to their people over the great many years since the fall of their homeland. It was a feeling that Riel also shared. A longing for knowledge long gone. So to be standing in a place that once held so much, yet now laid destroyed and ruined, filled her heart with a deep sadness.

Looking down at the stone in her hands, Riel thought _if only you could share more with us… there is so much we no longer know…_

A memory of Riel using her magic during the attack on the camp over a week ago came unbidden to her mind. And with it the fear of being without her armor, and watching her friends and companions fight desperately for their lives. Then the sight of the ogre appearing and charging at her. The anger and fear in her mind coalescing into a powerful surge of energy that filled her, bringing forth the magic that she unleashed on the foul beasts, killing them in a fury of magical power.

_Mage._

The entity from the stone impressed onto her an image of herself, before blending it with the image it had shown her before. The faint memories of itself before the spell that trapped it. The two images swirling and blending together, along with a feeling of gratitude and thankfulness.

A glow of soft light came from the stone, enveloping Riel briefly before once again fading away. Riel breathed in deeply, feeling the anxiety she had felt over her magic slowly ebb away. A flash of images ran through her mind in quick succession, each with her in some sort of training form as she wielded her magic. Yet the images were not from her memories. Not really. For each took place in the same library she stood, except back as it had once been. Yet with each image came a deeper understanding of her magic than Riel ever thought possible.

As if years of careful training were being transferred to her, Riel's mind filled a knowledge and understanding that could only come through dedicated effort and long hours of careful practice. She realized then that the entity was giving her what she had asked for. His knowledge. What little he could gift to her, along with the experience he gained from his life as a mage in ancient times.

_Mage. Arcane Warrior. Gift._

"Thank you…" Riel breathed out, completely amazed at the amount of gift that was given to her. No longer did her magic bite at her fingertips or swirl inside of her in a chaotic surge. For the first time in her life, where her magic was concerned, there was peace there. A confidence that she had never before known.

Again came the image of the altar into Riel's mind, reminding her of her promise. "Of course," she replied to herself, again looking around what was left of the library. There, under an overturned stack of shelves, looked to be the remnants of a table that roughly resembled the one from the entity's memories. "Help me move that!" Riel shouted to the others, indicating the large shelves.

"Anyone care to explain to me what's goin' on?" Oghren stated in a gruff voice.

" _Mi bella_ , are you sure you're alright?" Zevran asked from beside her.

"Trust me," Riel replied with a gentle smile.

"I happen to recall you saying something very similar before you collapsed into my arms not too long ago…" he groused in response.

Riel groaned, rolling her eyes. "Fine. _Don't_ help me. I'm still moving those shelves." Riel then proceeded to pull and push at the gathered debris, trying her best to clear it away from the long abandoned and neglected altar.

However, she wasn't alone in her efforts for long. Zevran was quickly by her side, even if he was shaking his head in disagreement while doing do. Then Sten was there, lending his massive strength to the effort of clearing all the debris and fallen shelving away. When Riel looked up in surprise to the giant, he just grunted out a sentence in his own language, not bothering to translate it for her.

Soon enough all the debris was cleared, leaving the altar free and accessible again. Looking at it, Riel was amazed at the contrast between the image of the altar from the entity's memories, and the present reality of it. Only the gods themselves knew how vast amount of time that existed between the those two images, and the profoundness of it wasn't lost on Riel.

Reverently she held the stone to her chest, offering a prayer to the Creators to finally guide this poor soul to the afterlife it should have been granted so many ages ago.

" _Ar lasa mala revas. Dareth shiral, ma falon,_ " she whispered softly.

_Grateful. Child of Mythal._

_Child of Mythal?_ Riel asked the entity. Yet she received no response. Shaking her head, Riel placed the stone onto the altar and stepped away.

"Shale? You like smashing things, right?" she asked to the stone golem standing off to the side.

"Oh must I? It is so pretty!" she moaned remorsely. "Oh fine. But I next time we frequent a gem merchant, I _must_ be able to choose something for myself. It has been absolutely forever since I was able to add to my collection. What with all the destroyed towns and dead bodies. Such a travesty!" Shale replied, bringing her massive stone body over to the altar. "Not the dead bodies. The lack of ability to add to my collection, of course," she quickly added in addendum.

"Of course…" Riel agreed with smile, even as she rolled her eyes slightly. "When we get to Denerim, I promise I will scour the city for the best gemsmith and let you buy whatever you like from his stock. However… First I need you to smash _this_ one."

Riel stepped back from the altar, allowing herself to be embraced by Zevran as she watched in silence as Shale lifted her heavy stone hand and brought it down in a hard slam onto the gemstone. Instantly a bright light shined forth, blinding everyone in the room. Then it was gone, the small broken fragments of the gemstone all that now remained.

"Will you tell me now what that was about? Or am I to forever guess and worry over just happened?"

Riel looked up at Zevran and grinned wickedly. She then pulled his face down to hers and kissed him passionately, abandoning all caution or shyness as she pressed her lips against his. Zevran reacted instantly, his body coming to life as he returned her kiss. His hands went to her waist, pulling her tightly against him. Then dropping down further to her rear end, he lifted her up easily, her legs wrapping around his waist. Growling in approval, Zevran walked a few steps over and gently slammed her back against the waiting wall there. Lost in the feeling of denied passion and a deep feral need to claim her, Zevran ignored the gasps and remarks of their companions as he continued to ravage Riel's mouth and glide his hands over her body.

"Oh please! By the Maker, is this really the time for that?" Alistair groaned loudly.

"Well, I suppose it wouldn't be the first time a mage was taken inside a library…" Wynne remarked with a wizened giggle.

"Ugh…"

"Disgusting…"

Sten and Shale both stated at the exact same time.

"Perhaps we should… Umm…. Yes, I think we should give the two of them a bit of privacy…" Leliana giggled before pulling on Alistair arm. "Come on, we'll just wait for them out in the hall…"

"This is hot…" Oghren stated in a heated, lustful tone. "Oww! Oww! By the stone woman!"

"Come on dwarf," Morrigan stated harshly, pulling on Oghren's ear as she led him out of the room.

All of this commotion was ignored by the two elves, however. Lost in each other, all they knew was the body next to their own, and the undeniable passion that filled them.

Zevran left Riel's mouth and kissed down her neck, his hands first finding her breasts and pressing his palms against him even though they were covered by her leather armor. Then further down they trailed, over her stomach to the juncture between her thighs. With Riel's moans heavy in his ears, Zevran rubbed and massaged at her core.

"I must have you…" he growled out in desperation. "Please… Accept me, _mi amor_ …"

"Yes, Zevran…! Oh by the gods, yes!"

Zevran's hand quickly reached up to one of his daggers, pulling it from its sheathe then bringing the sharpened edge to the fabric of the cursed small clothes that blocked his body from hers. With a single swipe he cut them away, letting the fabric fall to the ground neglected. Then with a slight shift, he freed his own member from his trousers and brought it to her core.

"Look at me, Riel," he demanded huskily. Her eyes lazily lifted to his, passion and love shining forth from their silvery depths as she looked at him. "I will love you forever…"

"As I will you…" she replied lustfully. She then cried out in pleasure as he filled her, her head leaning back and her spine arching as they came together in a single solid push.

With her back against the wall and her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, Riel clung desperately to Zevran as he glided in and out of her. Each of his powerful thrusts brought both of them closer to the edge of oblivion until suddenly she was there. Arching her back against the wall behind her, Riel cried out as exquisite pleasure washed over her. And joining her a moment later was Zevran, his own cries mixing with her own.

Breathing heavily, Zevran lowered his head down to Riel's shoulder. " _Tu será la muerte de mí_ …" he repeated to her.

"I don't recognize that. What does it mean?"

Zevran raised his eyes to hers. There looking deeply into her silver eyes, he smiled and shook his head slightly. With his fingers lightly caressing her cheek, he whispered to her, "It means that you will be the death of me. Although if I were to die like this, perhaps it wouldn't be so bad…"

Riel laughed softly before nuzzling against his cheek. "You're not allowed to die," she whispered happily into his ear.

Zevran pulled back and pinned her with a serious look in his eyes. "Neither are you, _mi amor_. It would destroy me to lose you. I will go the very ends of the Fade itself to protect you."

"I know…" she replied softly. "You're not going to lose me, Zevran. I promise."

"I will hold you to that, _mi bella_ ," Zevran purred before kissing her. Again he could feel his desire for her rising, the feel of her body still gripping his own adding to the intensity of the need. "Mmm… I could keep you here all day and still not have enough of you it seems…" he chuckled against her lips.

"As wonderful as that sounds, I don't think Morrigan has enough potions for that…" Riel giggled. However her comment brought the stark reality of their situation to their minds, sobering them both. "In fact, we probably should go back to the others."

Zevran sighed deeply. "Alas, you are right as always, _mi bella_. However, I promise you now that when we have dealt with the problems here and I have you once again alone in our tent, you will not be leaving again for some time," he replied with wicked grin.

"Oh I look forward to it," Riel giggled. Slowly Zevran lowered Riel back down to the ground and adjusted himself so that he was again tucked away behind his trousers. Riel bent over and picked up her now ruined small clothes and laughed, showing them to him. "I think though that I am going to have to set aside a whole purse full of coins just to make sure I have smallclothes, however…" she stated with laugh.

"Why when they only get in the way?" Zevran replied with a seductive look to his eyes.

Riel rolled her eyes at him, laughing. "Come on. I already am dreading meeting the eyes of the others."

"Oh? And why would that be? I am sure they have heard your cries of pleasure before now. After all, the walls of tent are not so thick, and your sweet voice does carry as I bring you to climax."

Riel felt her face flush a deep shade of red as she dropped her head into her hands. "Oh by the Creators…" she groaned deeply.

Zevran pulled her against him and lifted her face up to his. "Now, there is no reason to be embarrassed. In fact, bringing you to repeated climax is a duty that I take great pride and joy in. As for the others… Perhaps they might learn what a woman truly enjoying herself sounds like. Surely a valuable lesson for that fool Alistair!"

"Oh Zevran, you're horrible!" Riel laughed. "Okay, okay. Come on. We still have a ways to go. And I am sure the others are waiting."

"Very well, _mi bella_. Just answer one thing for me…" Zevran paused, his features becoming serious. "Are you alright? I know you promised to flay me alive the next time I asked, but I figured that perhaps I have improved your mood enough to venture asking once more…"

"I'm…. better," she answered truthfully. "I mean, there is still the werewolves to deal with, and the stupid curse. But my magic… That is… better."

"I trust you will offer a better explanation to me later? After all, one doesn't simply find a magical gemstone in an abandoned ruin and suddenly find a solution to their magical problems."

"I don't know," Riel laughed. "Considering all the strange things that we have encountered over these past few months, I'm about ready to accept just about anything."

"That is very true," Zevran laughed in response. "Now let us go see to the others. And when we do, hold your head up high, _mi amor._ For there is no shame in finding pleasure in your lover. Even in the midst of ancient ruins overrun with ravenous werewolves, deadly skeletons, venomous spiders, and other nasty creatures."

"Oh you make it sound so romantic, Zevran!"

"That is me. Romance and bloodshed, all in one!"

Riel was laughing so hard tears formed at her eyes as the two of them walked from the old library and out into the hall where the rest of their companions waited.

"Well, tears and laughing are not something I would expect to find a woman in after such a sight as we left you in…" Wynne playfully joked. "If memory serves, such endeavours if done correctly would leave a foolishly large smile on our faces for hours afterwards."

"I really don't want to be hearing this…" Alistair grumbled, his hand covering his eyes.

"You say that now Alistair, however I am sure that if I were to tell you a story of two young people - perhaps a young Templar and his bardic lover - doing what they did, you would probably find some interest in it…" Leliana replied with a mischievous look in her eyes.

Alistair lifted his head and looked at Leliana, an expression of shock on his face that quickly morphed into a shy yet aroused smile. "Well… Uh… That would be… Oh dear Maker…" he stuttered, his face flushing a deep shade of red. "Okay! Right then. Shall we continue on?"

"For once I am in agreement with the fool. We have tarried here long enough! And while I can certainly see the benefits in exercising one's loins, perhaps dealing with threat of these werewolves and the impending curse would indeed be pertinent," Morrigan groused wearily.

"Ever the astute woman, my lovely Morrigan!" Zevran chided gleefully, taking full joy in knowing that he brought his woman pleasure. And perhaps even taking a small bit of pleasure in making the others of their group uncomfortable in doing so.

"What about what happened in there?" Alistair stated, nodding his towards the library Zevran and Riel just walked from. "I mean… Before you and he, uh… Before that. With the uh-" he stuttered as a fresh wave of embarrassment washed over him.

"He means the gemstone, dear," Wynne added, a soft smile on her lips.

Riel looked at her companions, thinking back to the entity that she helped to release. Inwardly she wondered just how much she should reveal about her encounter with the spirit or soul or whatever it was. Whether they would believe her when she said that it wasn't some evil being or that it didn't harm her. Thinking on it, she wondered just how they would react to such a thing, especially a circle mage and ex-Templar.

"Alistair, draw your blade," she replied instead.

Lifting his brow in confusion, he still obeyed, taking his sword from its sheathe. Riel held out her open hand towards the blade, causing it to suddenly to come alight in a brilliant orange flame.

"By the Maker!" Alistair gasped. He swung the blade out a few times, testing the flame, yet still it persisted. "How did you do that?"

"That isn't all," Riel stated with a smile. "Watch." Again she held out her hand to the blade, this time causing the steel to be encased in an aura of cold air. Then a few moments later, the cold disappeared and was replaced with a sparking electrical energy. "I can do more as well. My magic is no longer wild, and I can control it beyond anything I ever thought possible."

"How though?" Alistair asked, looking skeptical.

"A friend showed me."

"A _friend_?"

Riel smiled tightly at Zevran, unsure of how much more she should say. "A friend. From a long time ago." She then paused and whispered to him in a hushed tone. " _Dirth melavir_ , _emma lath_ …"

Zevran raised his eyebrow, yet held his tongue, nodding only in response.

Suddenly a wave of exhaustion rolled over Riel, causing her lean against Zevran chest. Added on top of that, the wound in her leg began to ache and pulse once more, causing her stomach to roll and nausea to threaten the contents inside of it. "Zevran I- Argh!" Riel cursed out in pain, clutch at her stomach.

"Riel! What is wrong?!" Zevran exclaimed, holding onto her even as Riel doubled over in pain.

Immediately Morrigan pushed her way forward, taking hold of Riel's chin and lifting her face up. The black pupils of her eyes flashed red as her eyes met the witch's, then back again to the normal black. Riel hated the rough way Morrigan held her chin, her annoyance swiftly building into an bitter anger that boiled under her skin as Morrigan turned Riel's face slightly to view it from another angle.

"Let go of me witch!" Riel growled out angrily, wrenching her face free from Morrigan's grasp.

Morrigan reached into her pack and pulled out another vial filled with dark liquid. She uncorked it and offered it to Riel, a look of annoyance on her face. "You need to drink. The curse in your blood is getting stronger."

"I _hate_ your potions woman! They taste foul!" Riel grumbled, turning her head away from the potion.

"Perhaps. However I suspect that you would detest becoming a mindless beast more. Now drink, or I shall have the assassin pin you down while I pour the concoction down your throat."

"You wouldn't **dare!** " Riel spat out, her eyes almost glowing from anger.

Morrigan lowered her face down to Riel's and stared unwaveringly into her eyes. "Try. Me." A moment of silence passed where the two women stared at each other, before Riel finally relented and rolled her eyes, breaking the contact. "Now drink," Morrigan stated again, once again offering the vial.

Riel glared at the woman as she took the vial and downed the contents, keeping her eyes on the other woman. "You know, sometimes I really _hate_ you," she stated after the vial was empty.

Morrigan smiled as she straightened, taking the vial back from Riel. "I know. Yet you will thank me later. Now, we should see to it that we find the source of this curse soon. I did not prepare many vials, and I suspect that these ruins go on for quite a ways. And as it always is with such things, I have little doubt that what we seek will rest at the very end of them. Making our time limited at best."

Riel looked up at Zevran, and frowned. "You wouldn't have pinned me down like she said, would you have?" Zevran averted his gaze and cleared his throat. "Zevran! Answer me!"

Finally he met her eyes, yet they were unapologetic in their stern determination. "I promised that I would do _anything_ to protect you, _mi bella_. You know this."

Riel folded her arms her arms over her chest and grimaced. "Sometimes I really hate you too…"

Zevran smiled mischievously. "I know," he laughed, giving her a wink. "Now let us go. For I have _other_ promises to keep as well. Promises that would make what you and I did back in that library a short while ago seem tame in comparison…"

"By the Maker… Right, I think I need to invest in some ear plugs…"

"Or perhaps all you need is a good story to distract you, Alistair," Leliana offered suggestively.

"That could work…" Alistair replied, a shy smile on his lips.

"Perhap 'tis I who will be in need of ear plugs instead…" Morrigan groaned, rolling her eyes.

"Agreed. All this talk is making me feel ill. And I don't even have the parts to be ill!" Shale added. "The only proper sound for a squishy being to make is when I crush it's squirming little body. Speaking of which, there are still things to kill, yes?" Shale turned and looked over to Sten. "Come now, Qunari. Let us go find something soft to squish."

Sten grunted in agreement and followed after Shale without a word, the two of them walking down the hall that led away from the library.

"Hey now! If yer be killin', ya should leave some fer the rest 'ov us!" Oghren hollered as he ran after the two of them.

"Well _mi bella_ … Shall we resume our hunt for a white wolf fur to adorn your beautiful shoulders?"

Riel laughed and nodded her head. "Sounds fun. Besides, I want to test out some of the new things my _friend_ taught me. How does flame broiled wolf sound?"

"Delicious. Although not as delicious as you…" he purred back with a seductive grin.

"Oh by the Creators!" Riel giggled, taking him by the hand and leading him down the hall along with the others.


	59. The Lady of the Forest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Further translations at the end of the chapter to prevent spoilers.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Mi amiga: Antivan. "My friend."
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Fenedhis lasa: Elvhen. A curse/swear. Extension of Fenedhis. "Crap."
> 
> Absolutamente: Antivan. "Absolutely."
> 
> Excelente: Antivan. "Excellent."
> 
> Comprendes: Antivan. "Understand."
> 
> Mis amigos de la señora: Antivan. "My lady friends."
> 
> Ar lath ma: Elvhen. "I love you."
> 
> Ma vhenan: Elvhen. "My heart."
> 
> Elgar'nan: Elvhen god. Represents fatherhood and vengeance, and leads the pantheon with the goddess Mythal.

Time passed by slowly for Riel as the group fought their way deeper into the ruins. Past clusters of giants spiders, groups of skeletons and small packs of werewolves until Riel wasn't the only one drenched in sweat and weary from the fighting. However, the mage's spells wouldn't cease her pain as it did for the others. Their magic couldn't end the throbbing pain that emanated from her leg or the nausea that plagued her body. And with each step forward, Riel could feel her control over herself slipping.

Morrigan's potions only slowed the change and eased some of the symptoms. Time was still her enemy as with each second that ticked by more of Riel's sanity slipped away. And the constant fighting only made it that much harder to resist the change that threatened to completely overtake her.

Riel stopped at a fourway junction, her eyes narrowing as she tried to guess which direction to now take. The pain in her leg throbbed in tune with each beat of her heart, distracting her mind and driving away her focus.

" _Fenedhis lasa_!" Riel cursed out suddenly.

Gripping her dagger in one hand, she ran the blade down her exposed forearm deep enough to draw blood.

"Riel! What are you doing?!" Zevran exclaimed, snatching her dagger from her. However, all Riel did was laugh darkly as she watched her blood begin to seep through the fresh wound.

"Wynne!" Zevran called out, placing his free hand over the wound and trying to stop the blood flow. Riel wrenched her arm free from him though, spearing him with a menacing glare.

"No! Don't heal it!" she yelled, her wild eyes moving from between Zevran and Wynne. "Just wrap it! Tightly so it hurts more!"

"Riel?" Wynne asked, her features full of concern.

"Riel, you need to have that healed!" Zevran shouted back at her with his own angry look.

"No! I _need_ it. I _need_ the pain. It… helps…" Riel confessed, taking her free hand and rubbing at her temples.

Leliana came forward and pulled a long bandage from her pack. Without looking at Riel she began wrapping the bleeding wound, bringing the cloth around tightly just as Riel had asked. Only when she had tied the bandage into a tight knot to keep it in place did she meet her friend's eyes. Except no words came forth as their eyes locked, their emotions speaking for them. Leliana then turned and took Riel's dagger back from a stunned Zevran, offering it back to Riel.

"How much longer?" she asked Riel, her voice clipped due to the weight of emotions inside of her.

Riel remained quiet for a few seconds as she held her friend's gaze. She then shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. "If I… _When_ I…-"

"When _we_ get out of here," Leliana placed extra emphasis on the word 'we', "I think you and I need to go shopping. Perhaps if we hurry, we can make it to Gwaren for their next shipment from the Free Marches. The nobles of Denerim always order the best fabrics from Kirkwall hoping to cut the costs of Orlesian taxes, yet I happen to know a few of the shipmasters. I might even manage to get a sneak peak at the shipments and place a few bids before the Nobles even get there!" she giggled, her eyes dancing with mischief. She then glanced quickly over to Zevran, a sad smile touching her lips. "After all, a lady _must_ have a dress for her wedding. Right Zevran?"

" _Absolutamente, mi amiga_ ," Zevran replied sadly even though he smiled. Zevran walked up next to Riel and gently lifted her chin up. Staring into her silver eyes, his thumb lightly drifted over her trembling lips. "You wouldn't deny me the pleasure of becoming your husband now, would you _mi bella_?" he purred softly.

Tears swept down Riel's cheeks as she shook her head and forced a smile onto her face. "Of course not," she breathed, her chest constricting.

"Good." Zevran held out his hand to her, his own eye sparkling from unshed tears. "Then let us keep going, _no_?"

Riel took his hand and squeezed it lightly. "Alright…"

" _Excelente_! Now! This way!" Zevran laughed, leading her straight ahead down the corridor.

"Wait, how do you know that this is the right way to go?" asked Alistair from near the read of the group.

"Easy my friend," Zevran chuckled. "It smells the worst like wet dog!"

Riel rolled her eyes and groaned, yet even she couldn't stop the smile that his humor brought to her. Nor could the others it seemed as a round of jovial banter broke out amongst the group of companions. With Morrigan offering her usual dry quips and teasing remarks, Shale complaining about how few things there were for her to crush, and even Sten even offering to take the golem pigeon hunting once back on the surface in exchange for letting Wynne examine one of her crystals. When Alistair asked why Sten would make such a deal, Sten just shrugged, muttering that Wynne was the only one in the group who knew how to make cookies.

All of the banter went largely ignored by Riel however. For a while the pain her arm eased the pain in her leg, bringing back a small amount of focus. However even that small mercy drifted away under the increasing pressure behind her eyes.

At the end of the corridor they walked was a long flight of stairs leading even further down into the underground ruins. And with each step down, Riel could feel her careful control slip even more. Finally they reached a large wooden door at the base of the stairs that held deep scratches and gashes in the ancient frame and door.

Pushing open the door, Riel was the first to step in the medium sized anteroom. Greeting her was a half dozen werewolves, snarling and snapping their powerful jaws. However, they held back instead of immediately attacking as all the others had done before. Perhaps because at the head of the pack was the one werewolf that Riel was beginning to recognize. With a light brown fur and standing a head taller than his packmates, Swiftrunner fixed his yellow eyes on Riel as she approached and drew her blades.

"Parlay, elf! Parlay!" he growled out, his guttural voice grating even further on Riel's threadbare nerves.

" _Now_ you wish to talk, beast? After I slaughtered my way into your lair, killing your kin? Interesting how it is only when my blades are drenched in the blood of wolves do you finally wish to speak! Yet when your claws are dripping with the blood of _**my**_ kin, you boast of how swiftly you bring about my death!" Riel hissed out as she raised her blades.

"It is not _**I**_ that wishes to speak, elf! The Lady has become impressed with you! She has seen you fight, and knows that you are different than the other Dalish who make their home in this forest!" Swiftrunner shifted his stance, obviously uncomfortable with the new situation. "I told the Lady that you mustn't be trusted, yet it is her will despite my disagreements."

"Who is this woman you speak of?" Zevran asked, his own blades out and shining in the torch light.

Swiftrunner bristled at the question, his eyes narrowing on Zevran. "She is the **Lady**. And you will grant her respect, elf!" he growled. From behind Swiftrunner, the other werewolves increased their snarling as if they too took offence to the question. Swiftrunner then returned his glare to Riel and huffed. "She knows of the curse that runs inside of your veins. She has offered to aid you, in exchange for speaking with her."

Riel stood silent for a full minute as she weighed her options. The bitter, savage part of her wanted nothing but more bloodshed. To slice her way through the werewolves that stood before her and drink down blood as she ripped their flesh free from their bodies. To break down and succumb to the urge was a tempting pull in her mind, threatening to override every other sense she had.

"Very well, beast," Zevran stated calmly, easing his fighting stance yet still keeping his daggers out. Riel snapped her eyes to his, silently questioning him. "If this Lady can aid you, then I am willing to listen to what she has to say."

"And this doesn't sound like a trap at all…" Alistair groused from behind Riel.

"Does this mean that we will _not_ be squishing them?" Shale groaned. "Pity."

"Fine…" Riel replied angrily, placing her blades back into their sheathes. However when the group of them moved forward, Swiftrunner held out a clawed hand, blocking their advancement.

"Halt!" he growled fiercely. "There are too many! I will _not_ have the Lady overwhelmed by your people! Only the cursed may enter the Lady's sanctum!"

"By the Maker! Are you kidding me?! There is **no** way we are letting Riel be led into some kind trap by you animals!" exclaimed Alistair, lifting his sword once more.

"Where _she_ goes, _I_ go beast," Zevran stated, folding his arms across his chest as he glared at the werewolf. "You would protect your Lady? I would do the same for mine. And _she_ is my Lady," Zevran added, motioning towards Riel.

Swiftrunner again shifted, his massive shoulders rolling as his eyes went back and forth between Riel and Zevran. "Four may go, no more. The rest will stay here," he finally said, his voice thick with barely concealed malice and anger.

"Morrigan, Leliana and Zevran," Riel stated flatly, her eyes never leaving Swiftrunner.

"You can't be serious?!" Alistair exclaimed, coming up to Riel. Without thinking, he took hold of Riel's bandaged arm and turned her to face him. "Listen to me-"

"Argh!" Riel screamed out in pain. In flash she turned and grabbed hold of Alistair by the throat and pushed him up against a wall. Her silver eyes flashed red as her teeth elongated into sharp daggers into her mouth. The hand that was wrapped tightly against his throat grew long claws that dug into his skin, drawing forth small pricks of blood.

Alistair gasped as he struggled for breath, his hands coming up to try and peel Riel's tight grip from his windpipe. However Riel wouldn't be budged no matter how hard Alistair tried to free himself. Riel leaned in close, her breath mixing with his as a savage growl erupted from within her. Harder she squeezed, her glowing eyes seemingly taking pleasure from the purple hue that began to overtake Alistair's oxygen deprived features.

Riel felt a body slide up against her from behind her, the scent of foreign spices filling the air around her. The savage animal inside of her paused and breathed in the spices, causing her grip to loosen slightly. Closing her eyes, Riel struggled against the warring pieces of herself.

"You do not wish this, _mi bella_. You are better than this. Better than _him_." Zevran gently placed his hand on the arm that held Alistair. "Come with me now, _mi amor_. Allow me to comfort you as I should..." he purred softly into her ear.

Riel's grip on Alistair fell away as she began to shake violently, nearly collapsing to the floor. Instead she was scooped up into Zevran's arms and brought tightly against his chest. From beside him Alistair coughed and wheezed as he gasped for breath, his hand coming up to rub at his throat. In a flash both Wynne and Leliana were there as well, with Wynne casting a healing spell on both Alistair and Riel. However the spell only seemed to aid the ex-Templar, as Riel continued to shake and tremble in Zevran's arms.

"Morrigan! We need another potion!" Zevran called out over his shoulder.

Morrigan appeared silently by Zevran side and began to examine Riel, first lifting her eyelids then moving to check her pulse. After a moment she shook her head sadly. "She is beyond my aid, assassin."

"NO!" he exclaimed, getting to his feet and pushing past the others to where Swiftrunner and the other werewolves still waited. "Take us to see your Lady! Now!"

The head werewolf almost seemed to smile down at the two elves, a smug look of satisfaction on his wolfish face. "Very well. However, your _Lady_ will soon become one of of _ours_ , I think," he stated cruelly before turning and leading the way through a another doorway.

"Sten!" Zevran called out quickly. Immediately the giant was at his side, his face grim. "If we are not back within the hour, I wish for you imagine that these beasts stole your precious sword. _Comprendes?_ "

"Aye, elf," Sten grunted in response.

"Good. Now, _mis amigos de la señora?_ " Zevran looked over to both Morrigan and Leliana. "Time to meet ourselves this Lady."

Zevran followed Swiftrunner through the door, not even looking back to see if the women were behind him. The room beyond was immense, with ancient stone sarcophagi lined up against the far walls. In the corners were grand trees that had roots running across the stone floor every which way, interlocking with each other and breaking apart the stone to reach the soil underneath. Vines even covered the walls and much of the floor, the effect making the whole room look as if it was more apart of a forest than stone ruins.

And in the center of it all, stood a green skinned woman with ebony hair. Without garments covering her lithe and slender body, instead her deep green skin held raised brown veins that looked more like wood than flesh. Even her hands and feet extended out into wooded appendages instead of fingers and toes. Yet she was definitely female, with womanly curves and feminine features on her hauntingly beautiful face. With eyes consumed completely in black, she watched with stoic calmness as Zevran and the others approached her.

On either side of the Lady stood more werewolves of various shades, along with Swiftrunner standing close behind her in a protective pose. The werewolves gathered all snarled and swiped at the air, as if they were all too eager to slice their claws into Zevran and the other's flesh. Yet for their bluster, Zevran kept his head held high as he approached the Lady, keeping his eyes pinned on her.

"I am pleased you have agreed to speak to me," the Lady stated cooly. Her voice echoed and vibrated off the walls, seeming to carry with it the very essence of ancient magics.

"First you aid her. Then we will speak," Zevran replied stiffly, his tone harsh and impatient.

Swiftrunner growled, his teeth baring at Zevran. "See how they disrespect you, Lady? These elves know nothing!"

"Easy, Swiftrunner. I do not fault him. He worries over the woman, as is his right." The Lady stepped closer to Zevran, her black eyes roaming over Riel's still twitching body. "She is strong. And powerful, for one so young. However, the blood of evil that she carries wars against the curse of the wolves inside of her. And even though she fights it, neither she nor the child will survive the change that is to come."

" _Child_?!" Zevran exclaimed, taking a step back in shock.

The Lady brought her hand to hover slightly over Riel's body and closed her liquid black eyes. "Your mate is strong, and so is her issue as young as it is. However, neither will survive the change that is coming. It is why I have agreed to speak with you. Enough innocence have suffered because of this curse."

"A-are y-you sure?" Zevran stammered, still consumed by shock.

The Lady opened her eyes and pinned Zevran with a questioning glare. "What do you know of this curse, elf? What has Zathrian told you?"

"Zathrian hasn't said much of it. Only that we needed the heart of Witherfang to end it, and free his people," Leliana offered instead of Zevran.

"And do you know what this Witherfang is?" the Lady asked, her eyes moving to the bard.

Still Zevran remained silent, his eyes trained on Riel's face. Instead Morrigan stepped forward, answering for him. "'Tis no question as to who it is. You are this Witherfang, are you not? The spirit that is the source of the curse plaguing these creatures?"

"It is true. However, ending my life will not remove the curse. If it were such a simple thing, I would have done so long ago. However, it is not only _my_ life tied to the curse you see."

"Can you help her?!" Zevran suddenly shouted out, his eyes filling with tears.

Around them, the gathered werewolves snapped and snarled at the Zevran's outburst. However they were silenced by a look from the Lady. "I can only prolong the transformation for a short time," she finally stated, bringing her dark eyes back to Zevran. "To save her, you must end the curse that is killing her."

"And how do I do that, spirit?" Zevran raged.

"First you must understand why! Why I was brought here, and by whom! Why those around you suffer the curse that is killing your mate, and why we have finally attacked Zathrian after years of sitting by idly, waiting for him to come to us!" The Lady shouted angrily in response, showing the first real bit of emotion since they entered. "It is not just your woman who has suffered, elf! For long years, I have tended to the beasts before you. Helped them to overcome their animal nature and regain their humanity. And each year during this time, I have sent missives to Zathrian, begging him to end this curse he has wrought upon these poor souls! Until finally my patience wore thin and instead of pleading with him to come to us, I sent them after _him_. Thinking that perhaps if enough of his people fell to the curse, he would be _forced_ to come to me. Yet he does not come himself. No, he sends a proxy in his stead, while he continues to hide from what he has done!"

The Lady backed away from Zevran and walked over to Swiftrunner. A long and thin root like finger lifted up and touched the werewolf leader on the shoulder, and he instantly fell to one knee in front of her. Then the rest of the werewolves around the room mimicked him, each falling to one knee in reverence to their Lady.

"Years beyond my counting have passed since the day I was first pulled from the place your people call the Beyond. Ripped from all that I knew, I was combined with the body of a pure white wolf. Melded through blood and magic, Witherfang become I, and I became Witherfang. And the the one who committed such a feat? The one who spilled his blood to give me life?" The Lady turned back to Zevran and leveled a glare at him. "Zathrian. The one who sent you and your mate here to end my life, was the very one who created it."

"That is how you can control the werewolves?" Leliana asked.

The Lady shifted her glare from Zevran to the redhead, her black eyes flashing red for a moment. "I do _not_ control them. They have come to me of their own free will. Twisted by the curse that consumes them, they were little more than beasts. Mindless, savage, and without even the ability to speak. I have brought them the first semblance of peace since they first were changed!" The Lady hissed out angrily.

Taking a breath to calm herself, the Lady closed her eyes for a moment before once again looking to Zevran.

"I was but a tool for revenge. Created to bring vengeance on those who had killed his son and violated his daughter. Zathrian's anger became my first breath of life, and I delivered his wrath as he wished. However, I proved too much for him to control. After those who had wronged him laid either dead or dying, I escaped into the woods. Living in my own savagery, I hunted any creature I came across. And through my bite, I spread the anger that had birthed me. Unwittingly, I spread a curse that turned any unfortunate soul to survive my attack into what you now see before you. Only after years of learning both control and restraint did I finally regain a mind with which to think and understand again."

The Lady placed her hand on Swiftrunner's shoulder, her face softening into a small smile as she looked down at him.

"And it is through you that we have learned the same, my Lady," Swiftrunner stated reverently.

"Zathrian would have his people believe that he has discovered the secrets of his people. However his long life is not due to ancient secrets. As his blood was used to give me life, so I give life to him. As long as I live, so does he. Yet my death alone will not end the curse that these poor souls suffer from. Only a reversal of the spell first cast will accomplish such a task. And to do that, Zathrian must be brought here where it all first began."

Suddenly Riel's shaking got worse, her whole body convulsing in powerful waves. "Zevran! It hurts!" Riel screamed out from in Zevran's arms.

"Riel! Please, hold on!" Zevran cried, tears falling down his cheeks. "You have to do something!" he implored, lifting his eyes to the Lady as he begged.

The Lady swept her outstretched hand towards a nearby sarcophagi. "Place her on top. I shall do what I can. However, there is little I can do at this point. I cannot stop what has already begun. Make no mistake. The change _is_ coming. And once it does, both her life and the life that she carries _will_ end."

Zevran hurriedly placed Riel down on the slab of stone that the Lady indicated. However Riel latched hold of his arm, refusing to let him go. Leaning down to close to her, Zevran kissed her forehead lightly before whispering softly into her ear. "I will not be gone long, _mi bella_. Please, you must continue to fight this. _Please_ …" he begged, his voice cracking as he spoke.

"You must find Zathrian and bring him here. Only then will the curse end, and your mate live," the Lady spoke again as she approached Riel. Stretching out her arms, the spirits hovered her hands slightly above Riel's writhing body. "You must hurry, however. The life she carries is fading."

Zevran paused, torn between leaving his Riel alone with these creatures and staying with her to protect her.

"Go find Zathrian, Zevran. Morrigan and I will watch over Riel," Leliana stated, placing a hand on Zevran's shoulder.

Zevran smiled sadly at the woman, placing his hand over her own and squeezing it gently. "Thank you, _mi amiga_ …" he breathed out, his voice barely more than a whisper. Again he leaned down to Riel, placing his hands on either side of her face. "I _will_ return with Zathrian, _mi bella_. And he will end this curse on you. So please, _please_ continue fighting this."

Riel opened her eyes and looked up at him, her silvery eyes glowing red even as she cried. "It _hurts_ , Zevran… And I'm so _tired…_ " she whispered plaintively.

"I know, _mi bella_ …" Zevran whispered back to her, his voice cracking even as he smiled. "Just a bit longer, I promise you. Then I shall take back to our tent and allow you to sleep for as long as you wish. Agreed?" Riel nodded her head sharply, her brow furrowing as pain lanced through her body. Zevran kissed her forehead once last time, before whispering " _Ar lath ma, ma vhenan_."

"She won't be alone, Zevran. I promise."

Zevran straightened and looked to Leliana, nodding his head. He then turned to leave back through the door that they came through when the Lady called out to him once more. "There is a shortcut to the surface. It is a secret way that leads to the entrance of these ruins." The Lady lifted a long finger towards a nearly hidden alcove near the back of the room. "Time is precious, elf."

Biting back a caustic remark, Zevran only turned and rushed through the alcove that the Lady indicated. Through the archway was a extremely long set of stairs, leading up in a zigzag pattern. Quickly Zevran climbed, a silent prayer echoing in his head with every step he took. After what seemed like forever he finally reached a landing that held a barricaded door. Grunting with effort, he removed the heavy wooden block that kept the door locked shut and set it aside. He then opened the door and stepped free into the same ruin where they first came across the statues.

And there standing in the center of the room stood Zathrian, his face set in a glower as his eyes came to rest on Zevran.

"Where is everyone else? Do you have the heart?" he called out, his voice impatient.

"Perhaps not _all_ the gods despise me after all," Zevran mused darkly as he approached the Keeper.

"I do not understand. Where is beast's heart?"

Zevran shook his head and drew his blades, leveling them at the Keeper's throat. "Change of plans, I am afraid. It seems your presence is desired by the Lady of these ruins. And I have come to deliver you to her, so you may end this curse once and for all."

"Oh? The Lady of the Ruins? Is that what the spirit is now calling itself? And I told you that I _would_ end the curse, if only you were to bring me its heart!" Zathrian snapped back.

"And how do you know that this heart will end the curse?!" Zevran roared. "Or is this just another lie?"

"Ugh…" Zathrian groaned, his hands rubbing at his temples. "And what has this spirit filled your head with? Fantastical tales of magic and vengeance?"

"Enough talking! Riel's life is fading away while we stand here and speak! You _**will**_ come back with me and meet with the Lady of this place, and the two of you will reverse the spell you cast!"

Zathrian sighed. "I am truly sorry. However, even if I were to reverse the spell, there is no guarantee that she will live. However, with the heart I can cast a spell that will end the life of every one of these cursed creatures, making sure that no _others_ are infected. Even my own people back at our camp will die. It will a heavy price, though it will save many more lives in the future."

"You **lied** to us!" Zevran hissed, bringing his blade up against Zathrian's throat.

"I did what I had to to save _my_ people! These beasts will die the death that they deserve, and my clan will leave these forests _never_ to return!"

"And what of Riel? She carries a child within her!" snapped Zevran.

Zathrian's eyes went wide in shock. "She is with c-child?" he whispered, his voice uneven.

"Aye! And right now both of them are dying because of your curse!"

Zathrian stepped back, his face ashen with a look of deep sadness contorting his features. Zevran watched him carefully with narrowed eyes, mere seconds away from grabbing the man and literally tossing him down the immense set of stairs that he just climbed moments ago. Zathrian leaned heavily on his staff as his breath became labored and his eyes began to water.

"The child… Is it yours?" he finally asked.

Zevran paused for a minute, remembering the horrors his dear Riel had been dealt recently. "It is Riel's! That is all that matters!" Zevran stated firmly after a moment.

"That is what I told her," Zathrian stated with a heavy sigh. "My poor Nalle…" Zathrian covered his eyes with his hand as if to the shield himself from the images of his mind.

"Nalle?"

"My daughter… My poor, sweet little girl..." he wept as he spoke. "For a months after I brought her back from those who had taken her, she remained sullen and withdrawn. Then one night she came to me, telling me that she was with child, and it that belonged to one of the men who had violated her…" Zathrian paused and looked at Zevran. "I told her the child that she bore would be hers, despite who the father was. Still she argued, and when she stormed away, I thought that perhaps if I gave her time, she would come to see reason. Yet she refused to listen. No… _**I**_ refused to listen. I see that now. If only I had seen it back then…" Zathrian eyes went to his staff, fixing on the pointed red gemstone fixed to the top of it. "I found her body the next morning when I called her for morning meal. She had slit her wrists during the night with this very crystal. To keep from bearing the child of the humans who violated her, she had killed herself."

Zathrian looked around at the statues that surrounded them, his eyes finding the faces of each one. Silently he walked over to one depicting a male in his prime, holding both a sword and spear in his hands. Looking up at the statue, Zathrian placed his hand on the stone shaft of the spear, his eyes dripping with tears.

"Elgar'nan, our god of vengeance. Chief of all of our gods. By his name I came here the night after I found her body. And by using forbidden magics known only to a few, I summoned a spirit as savage and heartless to hunt those who had taken everything from me. And so with all the hatred and anger that I carried within me that night, the curse that has plagued the peoples of this area was created."

Zevran stormed over to Zathrian and placed his dagger against his throat, drawing a speck of blood. "And now it is _killing_ my wife and child! That which means _everything_ to me! You have already suffered your loss, old man. Do not _**dare**_ force me suffer the same! By the gods, if you let them die to suit your vengeance, I swear by the gods I will render unto you a wrath that will make your own vengeance look like mere child's play!"

"Very well…" Zathrian sighed. "I will meet with the spirit that I bound so long ago. However, I doubt that much will come of it. As I said, even _if_ I were able to reverse the spell that I casted, there is no guaranteeing that it will save Riel. The spirit is as savage as the beasts it created. Let me ask you. If these beasts attack me as soon as we approach, who will you defend? The savage beasts, or myself?

Zevran sheathed his daggers and smiled coldly at Zathrian. "Easy. My wife. Now move. As I was told shortly before leaving her, time is precious."

Down the long staircase the two of them silently went, Zevran almost dragging Zathrian as he rushed the older man along. Halfway down the last flight, a pained scream echoed out from the room beyond the door at the base of the stairs. Pushing past Zathrian, Zevran rushed forward and through the door. Laying on the stone sarcophagi was Riel, twisting and turning as she writhed in pain. Sitting next to her on the stone was Leliana, holding Riel's head in her lap, while Morrigan did her best to cast healing magics alongside of Wynne.

"She only started getting bad a few minutes ago," Leliana stated as soon as she saw Zevran approach. "I had Morrigan fetch Wynne, hoping that her magics would help. But they only seem to making it worse!"

"Riel! Riel!" Zevran called out, lowering his face to hers and placing his hands on her cheeks. "Look at me, _mi bella_. Open your eyes and look at me!"

Riel's eyes flashed open, revealing the silver of her eyes turning a crimson red. "Zevran?" she whispered out hoarsely.

"I am here, _mi bella_ …" he replied, managing to smile for her despite the fear that consumed him.

"Welcome Zathrian," the Lady coldly stated as she addressed the Keeper. "I am pleased the elf was able to bring you here."

"Are you spirit? I didn't think you were capable of such emotions." Zathrian gazed over at the assembled werewolves, his face contorting into a look of anger and disgust. "Although I see your company has not changed much over these long years. So you have managed to tame the creatures that you helped to create? Pets to decorate the halls of these long forgotten ruins?"

"How dare you! We are **not** pets!" Swiftrunner growled out menacingly.

"Taught them to speak even, have you? My, you _have_ been busy. What other tricks have you taught them?" Zathrian sneered.

Swiftrunner leapt forward, bringing his snarling maw up close to Zathrian's so they were only mere inches apart. With claws twitching and a low growl brewing forth, he stared down at the elf.

"See how quickly they leap to attack? They are still just as savage and and mindless as they were when they were still human!" Zathrian scoffed, completely unintimidated by Swiftrunner's close presence.

"Please Zathrian, I did not ask you here to fight. Haven't these creatures suffered enough? How many long years have you lived with your vengeance? Surely your vengeance has run long enough," the Lady gently spoke.

"My vengeance is eternal spirit, as is my pain!" snapped Zathrian. "It because of these humans that I lost everything dear to me! And so I will see them suffer as I have suffered!"

"The ones who harmed you have long since died. The ones who stand before you are the same humans who killed your family. Not all of them are humans, either. Elves and dwarves have suffered under the curse we created. Are they to suffer because of mistakes not their own?" The Lady stepped over to where Riel laid, her hand sweeping over Riel's body. "Will you let this innocent woman and her child suffer for a crime they did not commit? Should they die, as your own daughter died, because of the anger and hatred of others?"

"You… shame me spirit…" Zathrian finally sighed, his eyes softening as he looked upon Riel. "But tell me, do you not fear what may come? You wish for me to reverse the spell that I cast, which will break the hold binding you to this world. You would trade your life for these others?"

"Zathrian, you are my maker. Because of you, I have seen what this world has to offer. I have experienced joy, sorrow, anger, and love. I have lived and breathed, and have come to know so very much. However, this world is not mine. Even if I do not return to the Beyond, I know that I have lived well."

"You are better than I, spirit. My anger and hatred blinded me, whereas you managed to move past that which born you." Zathrian then turned to face Zevran. "I had a vision of this moment. When I first learned of the child Marethari took in, I saw this moment unfolding before me. At first I thought it merely a dream. Yet it persisted. And so I began to prepare. I decided that if I were to die, that I would not die alone. I would take these savage creatures with me."

Zathrian walked over to where Riel writhed on the stone slab. With tears glistening in his eyes, he looked down at her. Briefly he lifted his hand, meaning to touch Riel's cheek. However in a flash Zevran had his dagger out and pointed at Zathrian.

"No one but those she loves may touch her!" he hissed, his eyes blazing with bitter anger.

Nodding his head solemnly, Zathrian dropped his hand and stepped back. "She even looks a bit like my Nalle. The same dark hair and stubborn look. However, it is Lanaya who has the same eyes. The same sweet smile…" Zathrian smiled wistfully as he thought of the woman back at the camp. "You will tell her that… Tell her-"

"We will," Leliana stated, a small smile on her lips.

"Of course," Zathrian whispered. He then looked over the Lady and smiled. "Shall we see what awaits us then, spirit?"

"Come Zathrian. Let us journey together," the Lady replied, opening her arms wide.

All around her the werewolves gathered and placed a clawed hand onto the Lady, offering her a silent farewell. They then backed away as Zathrian approached and embraced her with one hand sliding around her slender waist. Keeping his eyes fixed the Lady's black pools, Zathrian brought his staff down heavily to the ground, breaking the spell.

Instantly a bright light flashed, filling the whole room with a blinding whiteness. When the light abated and they could see again, standing the place of the werewolves were a collection of humans, elves and dwarves. And in the center of the room laid Zathrian's body and that of a white wolf, laying motionless and without life.

"Hooray! It worked!"

"Amazing!"

"Praise the Maker!"

A chorus of excitement and jubilee broke out around Zevran and the others. Yet all of his focus was on the woman lying next to him. Now quiet and still, Zevran's breath caught in his throat as he fears bubbled to the surface. Wynne's hands moved to Riels throat, measuring the beat of her heart. After a long moment the old woman smiled up at Zevran.

"Her heart beats well. She should be fine."

Zevran didn't bother trying to stop the tears that rained down his face as he gathered Riel into his arms and held tightly on to her. Burying his face into her neck, he openly wept as relief washed over him. A string of Antivan prayers rushed forth past his lips as he held her, offering thanks to any all gods that would listen.

A man from the crowd of newly transformed people approached Zevran as he held Riel. Instantly Zevran pulled his blade free and leveled it at the stranger, placing himself between Riel and the human male.

"Easy there!" the man shouted, his gravelly voice holding a familiar tone to it. "I just came over to say… I don't know exactly what…"

Zevran's gaze narrowed on the male, taking in his sandy brown hair and squinting eyes carefully. In a flash of movement Zevran had the male on his back down on the ground with Zevran overtop, his blade cutting into the man's neck.

"I should kill you for what you did to her, _Swiftrunner_ …" Zevran seethed, pushing his blade in further.

"Zevran stop! Don't become Zathrian!" Leliana urged from somewhere behind him. "This isn't what Riel would want!"

"No, she wouldn't…" he hissed, keeping his eyes locked on the human's. "However, I am _**not**_ her." Zevran then took his blade and ran it deeply down the man's face, mimicking the scar that marred Riel's own face. The human screamed out in pain and thrashed under Zevran, yet it didn't stop Zevran from cutting the deep wound from the man's temple down to below his chin. Zevran than grabbed a fistfull of dirt and crammed the wound full of it, guaranteeing a scar as long as no magical healing was used. "A reminder for you to know what you threatened, as well as a promise. For if she dies from what she has suffered here today, I will know how to find you. And find you I will, human. If she dies, I will make the suffering you endured as a beast a pleasant memory to give comfort during the long hours that I slowly kill you."

Zevran than leapt free from the human and sheathed his dagger. Completely uncaring about the shocked and startled looks the others who were newly transformed gave to him, he went back to Riel and again gathered her into his arms. With his back turned, Zevran didn't see the human previously known as Swiftrunner grab hold of a sharpened rock and approach, his face full of rage.

"Uh uh," Leliana stated, leveling her bow at the human, arrow notched and ready. "Consider his promise mine as well. You have your life today, but make no mistake that there will not be a place in all of Thedas for you to hide."

The crystal on Morrigan's staff flashed, drawing the human's eyes to her. "Or the Fade. 'Tis quite a few spells that I have access to yet have had opportunity to try. Spells only useable on dead souls, made to make even their death the most painful experience ever imagined."

Swiftrunner's eyes darted between the two women for a quick moment before he dropped the stone and backed away. He and the rest of the newly transformed then turned and ran out through the alcove that led to the surface. When the last of them disappeared up the long stairway, Leliana returned her where Zevran and Riel were. Making sure to approach him slowly and from an angle where she would be visible, Leliana kept her voice level and soft as she spoke.

"Let's take her out of here, Zevran."

Zevran kept staring down at Riel's face, his features a mixture of sadness and joy. "Did you know? About the… her…-" Zevran swallowed, unsure if he could even say the words. After all, Riel may be alive, yet what about the one that she carried?

"No, and I don't think she knew either," the redhead answered truthfully. A quiet moment passed, each of them thinking the same thoughts. "Should we tell her? When she wakes up?"

"I think that perhaps for now, this latest development should stay between the three of us. Until we know for certain how all of this has affected her, it would do no good to get tongues wagging," Wynne responded in her usual careful tone. "Once we are back in the camp, there are tests and I can perform to gauge the health of… Well, the health of _both_ of them."

Zevran nodded, his eyes not leaving her face. " _Te lo juro, voy a proteger a usted y el hijo, mi amor_ …" he whispered softly down to her. Zevran then pulled Riel into his arms and stood with her. Casting a glance to each of the three woman at his side, Zevran then left the room to where the others waited for them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Te lo juro, voy a proteger a usted y el hijo, mi amor: Antivan. "I swear, I'm going to protect you and the child, my love".


	60. Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Chapter rated 18 + Mature (M) for adult content.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Da'len: Elvhen. "Little child, or little one."
> 
> Dareth shiral: Elvhen. "Stay safe/safe journey."
> 
> Syl'ashal tu vhen na'lath: Elven. "The male crow whose heart you love."
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Emma lath: Elvhen. "My love."
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Ar lath ma: Elvhen. "I love you."
> 
> Ar lath ma'en: Elvhen. "I love you too."
> 
> Sa'lath ma: Elvhen. "My one love."
> 
> Mi diosa bella: Antivan. "My beautiful goddess."
> 
> Oh dulce belleza: Antivan. "Oh sweet beauty."
> 
> Fen'Harel: The Elven god of tricks and fear. Commonly referred to as the "Dread Wolf".

 

_Calm skies. A vast sea of endless clear blue, dotted mildly with the fluffy white mounds of clouds. It was an omen of warm of weather, good hunting, and a promise of lazy afternoons by the water. Yet why did she feel so anxious then?_

_The young woman carefully made her way through the thick forest that she knew better than her own skin. Each step placed with forethought, sure to make no noise or to disturb the quiet beasts that roamed the forest alongside her. While no other walked beside her, the woman knew that she was not alone. For along with the various fauna and fowl that decorated the landscape before her were also the whispers of those who called this realm home._

_Demons. Spirits. Shades. Wisps. Wraiths. Those that were neither alive nor dead. The ones that commanded the energies of goodness. The ones that fed on the darkness of evil. They all existed in this place, set apart from the waking world of mortals. This was their domain, and she was the interloper. The intruder. The one that did not belong._

_And they knew it._

_Yet curiously for once they did not seek her out as they always did. Alone she had wandered for what seemed like ages. Walking carefully to not disturb that which she knew was already aware of her presence. After all - she was a mage. A beacon to those existed here. A curiosity to some, and a means to power for others. However none of the local inhabitants of this mysterious place even wandered close to where she treaded. Something that was both a relief and a cause for worry._

" _They fear you…"_

_The young woman twirled around, her hands automatically pulling forth her daggers as her body fell into an attack stance._

_There sitting calmly on its haunches was a singular black wolf. The fur that covered it's large body was the color of moonless night, with eyes as clear and blue as the day sky. The young woman readied herself, yet the wolf made no moves to attack. Instead it continued to stare at her with eyes that held a wisdom and intelligence far beyond that of a typical wolf._

" _I know who you are…" the woman stated, her eyes narrowing._

" _Do you now? How can you know me, when you do not even know yourself?" the wolf replied, it's mouth not moving as it spoke._

" _You are a trickster! A fiend!" she hissed out._

" _Perhaps…" The wolf's mouth opened into an almost grin as it continued to stare at the woman. "I have been called worse. And not always without merit. However, today I come bearing no tricks or fiendish endeavours. At least, not for you."_

" _What is it you want then?"_

" _I was curious."_

" _I doubt that… I have nothing for you, fiend," the woman scoffed, her silver eyes carefully gauging the distance between the two of them. If she were to roll forwards, she might be able to land a good slice to the beast's flank before it could react._

" _Now, that wouldn't be polite. After all, we are merely conversing here, are we not?" the wolf again smiled. "And yes, I was curious. Curious as to who could still the spirits in this place. To cause all most the most ardent and powerful of the aggressive spirits to flitter away to other places other than here. And even cause the aggressive of those who wander here to step back and rethink their positions."_

" _I have been here for ages, and I have seen no spirits. Other than_ you _," the woman replied with a sneer._

" _Precisely. You carry a mark, da'len. One I know well." The wolf's smile disappeared as its eyes narrowed on her. "Who is she to you? And why do you hold her favor?"_

" _I don't know who you're talking about!"_

" _Perhaps you do. Perhaps you do not. However, the evidence is clear. Your steps are not without impact, especially not here, in this place. The mark you wield is more a beacon to those here than your magic. However, instead of drawing forth those who roam here, it screams out a warning to them instead."_

" _A warning?"_

" _Or a challenge…"_

_The woman felt a chill go down her spine as she eyed the wolf carefully. "A challenge? To who?"_

_Again the wolf smiled, his blue eyes dancing with mischief. "To any who would dare risk the wrath of a god…" The wolf almost seemed to laugh, it's body trembling slightly. "Although I cannot say that I would not understand their desire. Some temptations seem especially crafted to test even the most resolute of us."_

" _You make no sense, Trickster!" the woman hissed._

" _Do I not?" the wolf replied, tilting its head slightly. "Perhaps it is the one you hold that has garnered her interest. After all, such power rarely goes without notice." The wolf's smile returned as it looked on her. "Tell me da'len, how do you plan to fight the evil that comes?"_

" _As I always do. With every bit that I am. And I_ _ **will**_ _win," the woman replied, lifting her head in prideful confidence._

" _Will you? Some would call that arrogance. Others pride. Dangerous emotions to wield in this place." The wolf paused as it stared at her for moment._

" _It is not pride! I will win because there is no other choice. To fight. To defend. To save those that I care for, and those who depend on me. I will do so because not because I can. But because I_ _ **must**_ _."_

" _I wonder, how can you be so certain? To face what is it come is no mere walk in the forest. Dangers the likes of which you have never seen wait in the shadows, seeking their chance to break free and wreak havoc on the world of mortals. Enemies that would not hesitate to slay all those that you care for, and rip free the innocence that now grows within you to use for its own benefit."_

" _What innocence?" the woman asked, her former confidence slipping into a look of shock and confusion._

" _No matter. My curiosity is quenched. I see now why she has favored you." The wolf sighed, it's eyes softening as it looked upon her. "So alike, yet so very different. I almost envy him."_

" _Him?"_

" _Syl'ashal tu vhen na'lath." The wolf sighed wistfully. "Dareth shiral, da'len. And may fortune be kinder to you than it ever was to either of them." The wolf then turned and trotted away into the forest, disappearing between the thick mass of trees._

" _Wait!" the woman called out, yet it was too late. The wolf was gone, once again leaving her alone._

_The young woman looked around, trying to peer through the near endless forest that surrounded her. Without a word she sheathed her blades as she felt her eyes begin to tear. Absently her hand drifted down to her abdomen and gently caressed the area there._

" _Could it be?"_

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Zevran rung out the cloth and returned it to Riel's forehead, gently wiping at her brow. Wynne and Varela had left mere moments ago, offering again their assurances that both Riel and tiny babe that she carried were in good health. Still Zevran worried, however. As he was yet again relegated to merely sitting back and waiting until his love would awaken from the latest unfair blow dealt to her, it would only be when she opened her eyes and smiled at him would he truly believe that she was well again.

Demons, werewolves, Darkspawn… All this he could fight and would do so gladly. Something physical for him to stick his blades into. Or to poison with some various combination of herbs or tonics. These he would gladly do to protect her and keep her safe. However, it was moments such as these that were the most horrible for him. The ones where he could do nothing but sit back and wait, hoping and praying to the gods that his Riel would awaken and come back to him.

Right now there was nothing for him to kill. Nothing to defend her against. The only thing he could do was sit idly by, and that perhaps was the worst of all. The near endless wait, where uncertainty and hope flared in random intervals, driving him to insanity. Where even the slightest hitch of her breath brought forth a new wave of fears, and only the continued beating of her heart provided any meager amount of comfort to his desperate soul.

Zevran set the cloth he had been using aside and took Riel's hand into his. She had been unconscious for nearly a full day now, yet both healers had told him that physically she was fine. The only thing that she required now was rest, and that was something that Zevran fully intended to give her.

Even if he had to kill the annoying ex-Templar who seemed intent on pestering both he and Riel since they had regrouped within the ruins. Despite nearly losing his head to Riel during her battle through the curse that she suffered, the fool still seemed to beg for death with how he haunted Zevran's steps all the way back to the Dalish camp. Even with Leliana there to help distract and call the man to heel, Zevran knew that if his hands were not busy carrying Riel he would have plunged his dagger into the man's heart before even reaching the camp.

When it came to his Riel, Zevran held little patience for others who would impede or cause her harm. Companion or not. Which is why he was glad that since being given use of the araval they were now in, Zevran had not seen or even heard the male Grey Warden's voice. In fact, the only ones to visit were the healers Wynne and Varela, Leliana, the new Keeper Lanaya, and even Morrigan. None of which wore on Zevran's nerves quite like the ex-Templar did.

"Zev… ran?" Riel's small voice whispered, snapping Zevran's attention to her.

Bending over, Zevran brought his face with her own. "I am here, _mi bella_ …" Lightly he cupped her cheek, his breath stuck in his lungs as he watched her eyes flicker open briefly.

"Where… am I?" she groaned, her brow furrowing.

"With the Dalish. You are safe." Gently Zevran ran his thumb over the creases in her forehead, smoothing out the creases. "There is nothing to worry about, _mi amor_. Everything is well."

Riel opened her eyes and looked up at him. Immediately she heard his quick intake of breath, and a seed of worry planted in her chest. "Are you alright?" she asked, her hand coming up to rest on his cheek.

Zevran smiled, taking her hand in his and placing a kiss to her palm. "I am wonderful, _mi bella_. For I have you." Tears formed in Zevran's eyes, one spilling forth and running down his cheek. "Forgive me of my weakness. I am only pleased to be able to look into your beautiful silver eyes once more."

Riel pulled Zevran down to her, wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace. Zevran went willingly, burying his face in her neck as a way to hide his tears that flowed traitorously from his eyes. Riel's hands found their way under his tunic, memory guiding them to the swirls of his tattoos. Lightly her nails followed the dark lines, knowing each curl and line of ink as intimately as if they were her own.

"I was so afraid that I would lose you…" Zevran mumbled after a short while.

"What can I say? I'm hard to get rid of," she replied with a soft giggle. A soft quiet bloomed around them, each soaking up the presence of the other. Finally Riel whispered softly, her voice pulling on Zevran's heart. "I need to feel you, _emma lath_ ," Riel moaned, pulling at Zevran's tunic.

Quickly Zevran sat up and removed his tunic then once more laid down next to her. His bare chest met her own bare skin, and absently Zevran was thankful that the mages previously insisted on removing her clothing and armor. Despite his earlier reservations, it had aided the women in healing and inspecting Riel to make sure that she was unharmed and doing well. And now it acted as a nice boon, granting him the ability to feel her warm flesh next to his own.

"Will things ever be easy, Zevran?" Riel whispered after a moment. Her voice was thick with sadness and weary tiredness.

"One day, _mi bella_. When the hardest decision you will have to make is what to have for your evening meal, or what dress to wear while you go shopping."

Riel smiled slightly. "I have never been one for dresses. Even among my clan, I preferred the leather armor of the hunters."

"Then I will be sure to buy you many varieties of colorful and beautiful pieces of leather armor for you to choose from," Zevran replied with a wink.

"You spoil me…" she giggled, running her finger down his cheek.

"Not yet. But I will. Once this business is over with, I promise that I will take you far away from here. To Orlais, or Rivain. Somewhere where you may be at ease and finally rest. With a grand house, servants, and guards to keep you safe."

Riel laughed softly. "That sounds lovely. Although I do wonder how we are going to pay for all of that."

"Oh I am sure I will be able to find a way. Afterall, not every lord is well liked amongst his people. Many would pay well to be free of such a man, and if not, then I will simply take his home as payment."

"By the Creators, Zevran!" Riel exclaimed softly, her shocked tone belying the amused look on her face. "You can't be serious!"

"Of course I am," he replied with a shrug of his shoulders. Gently he caressed her face as he looked down lovingly into her eyes. " **You** are my priority, _mi bella_. My very reason for living. And I will provide for you, as a man should. Circumstances have forbidden me from simply whisking you away now, however that doesn't stop the desire in me to see you safely in a house of your own. To have a life of your own, free from the troubles of demons or Darkspawn. And so when this pesky Archdemon lies dead at your feet and all the joyous celebrations are done, I _will_ see to it that you are cared for. My honor and worth as a man demands no less of me."

" _Ar lath ma_ , Zevran," she whispered with misting eyes.

" _Ar lath ma'en, sa'lath ma_ ," Zevran purred back to her. He then took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. With care he placed a kiss onto each of her fingertips, his eyes trained unblinkingly on hers. " _Ma vhenan'ara_ ," he whispered to her then, placing her hand over his heart.

Riel's heart swelled as she watched him. With her free hand she pulled Zevran down to her, kissing him deeply. Zevran groaned in response, returning her kiss as his hands went to her body. Masterfully he plundered her mouth as his hand drifted from her shoulders down to her sides, then over across to her breasts. Gently he cupped the mounds he found, rubbing his thumb over her pink nipple.

Riel moaned as her body unfolded before him, welcoming him closer. This is what she needed right now. After so much uncertainty and fear over her powers, only then to suffer under the threat of losing herself to a horrific curse. She needed to feel something real. Something safe and normal and good. He was her anchor, pulling her back from the dark abyss of her mind that threatened to consume her. His touch was as hot as any fire, burning away her doubts and her fears. His kisses were soft promises of love and protection, reminding her that she wasn't alone. And when he covered her body with his own like he was now, she had never felt more safe and secure.

"I love the way to feel on top of me," she murmured when he left her lips to kiss along her jaw.

"Mmm, what a coincidence. For how I love the way you feel _under_ me. Or on top of me. Or beside me… In front of me.,. Truly any which way that I may have you. Shall I demonstrate?" he replied with a soft chuckle into her ear.

Riel giggled as her hands wandered over his back. "And how would you have me now?"

Zevran pushed himself up slightly so he could look into her eyes. "By my side… forever," he replied solemnly. Slowly he ran the backs of his fingers down her body, between the valley of her breasts and further past her ribs. However when he reached her stomach his hand stopped and his smile disappeared, replaced by a frown. "Riel… I…" he began, yet the words became lodged in his throat.

"What's wrong?"

For a moment he held her gaze, searching her liquid silver eyes for an answer to the question that plagued his mind. He had agreed to wait until Riel was for sure feeling better to tell her what the Lady of the Forest had revealed to them. And while it was true she seemed well enough to welcome him into her bed, was she truly healed though? Moreover, how would she react to the news that he held?

However, beyond even his own questions was another that refused to leave him be all these long hours since leaving the ruins. A question posed to him to by the former Keeper, that he neither knew the answer to, nor was he even sure that _wanted_ to know the answer to. A question that he knew sooner or later Riel herself would ask, and at the moment, Zevran didn't know what he would say in response if she did ask.

_Is it yours?_

Three simple words, yet they carried the weight of so much in them. An entire future seemed poised in balance over the outcome of such a simple and small question. However in truth, was it so simple? Was the meaning so small?

Children resulting from a mixing of the races were rare, but not impossible. Although when it did happen, the child resulting from such a union always favored the human side of their lineage. A half elven child would appear human to all who looked upon it, even other elves. There would be no denying who the man who fathered Riel's child was the moment she gave birth to it. If it bore the classic elven ears and other elven features, the child she bore would undoubtedly be his.

If it didn't, however…

"All is well, _mi bella_ …" Zevran replied with a smile.

Riel raised an eyebrow at Zevran's lie. For months now they have travelled and spent time close together. As such, she knew when the smiles he offered to her were ones of happiness, or playful teasing, or of lustful longing. And because of the trials she had endured these long months, Riel had also grown accustomed to the looks he would give her when he smiled through pain, or through sadness. The smile he would give to her when she asked for him to pretend that things were alright when they obviously were not.

And it was one of those that he gave to her now. A smile hiding a pain deep inside, that he couldn't or didn't wish to speak of. "Zevran…" she gently prodded, her fingers coming up to run lightly along his lips. "Speak to me."

Zevran kissed at her fingers and smiled broader, the sadness that he hid shifting deeper inside of him as he pushed the foul thoughts away. Instead he made his mind focus instead on the woman in front of him, and that no matter what may come in the future, for right now, she was his. The past was gone and unable to be changed. However right now, he had a beautiful woman laying naked in his arms. One who loved him and who he loved deeply in return.

"Oh but my sweet and precious _mi diosa bella_ , why speak when there are many other much more _pleasurable_ things that I could be doing with my tongue?" he replied with a sly wink.

Riel was going to push further, however all thoughts evaporated from her mind the moment his mouth closed over her breast. With skillful flicks of his tongue, Zevran teased her nipple as he suckled her. With his hand moving to her opposite breast, Riel lost herself to the sensations he gave to her. With her hands knotting in his hair she pulled him tighter against her, a deep moan escaping her lips.

Still however a flicker of her previous concern refused to leave her mind. Winding itself around her mind, it choked out the pleasure she felt until finally with a surge with determination Riel pulled Zevran's free from her breast. With heavy breaths she looked up at his smiling face, torn between letting him continue and finding out what secrets he was keeping from her.

"Zevran…" she gasped through deep intakes of breaths. " _Speak_ to me…"

Zevran's grin widened, a look of naughty mischief in his eyes. "Oh you wish for me to talk to dirty to you, do you _mi bella_? Shall I tell you of how much I desired you every time I witnessed you bend over in the new armor that Leliana bought for you? Or how I imagined taking you as we bathed beneath a waterfall? Or would you like something more _intimate_? Hmm?" he purred, running his fingers lightly over her now erect nipple. "Do you wish to know how I wish to taste you, letting my tongue swirl and glide over your beautiful breasts? Or lay kisses along your skin, moving lower down your body until I reach the sweet core between you legs…?" Zevran ran his fingers down her ribs as he spoke, gliding over stomach and further down until he reached the juncture at her thighs. "Do you wish to know how delicious I find you? How your heat feels as I give you pleasure?" Mimicking his words, Zevran plunged two of his fingers inside of her, causing Riel's back to arch. "Mmm… yes, how wonderful you feel. And how beautiful you are as I pleasure you… So wild... So free… And when you call out my name as you release… There is no sweeter sound in all of the world…"

"Zevran!" Riel exclaimed, feeling such a release building within her as he spoke. However, even writing under his touch, the nagging part of her mind refused to let go of the image of the sad smile he gave to moments ago. "Zevran, _please…_ " she begged breathlessly.

Zevran brought his face up close to hers, staring down into her eyes as his fingers continued to work her insides. "Forget about our worries, _mi bella_. There will be time enough for them later, along with the world that waits for us just outside of these walls. However now, it is just you and I. Place your faith in my love and devotion to you. And know that without question, I will stand by you." Zevran then leaned his head down and once again took her breast into his mouth.

The sensation of his mouth on her tipped Riel over the edge, crashing a powerful climax through her body. "Zevran!" she called out, her hands fisting his hair.

Zevran rode out her orgasm, ringing every last drop of pleasure out of her before he pulled himself free from her and quickly removed the rest of his clothing. He then slid himself up her body, positioning himself between her legs yet making sure to keep his weight off of her. Claiming her mouth, Zevran kissed her passionately as his aching member strained seeking out her core.

Suddenly Riel's hands were upon him, stroking and caressing his shaft as she guided him closer to her. "Take me, Zevran…" she whispered against his lips. Obeying not just her request, but his own need, Zevran slid himself inside of her. With a single push he filled her, a deep groan of satisfaction escaping his lips as they joined together.

" _Oh dulce belleza_ …" Zevran moaned.

Riel's legs locked around his waist, her hips helping to guide each of his thrusts. Together they rocked back and forth, retreating and moving forward in unison as they made love. Clasping her hand in his, Zevran positioned himself so he could watch her as he moved inside of her. How he enjoyed watching the looks of pleasure on her face. The way her breath caught and her eyes rolled back with each thrust of his hips.

Zevran knew then that no matter who the father of the child that she carried was, he would raise it as his own. No matter what, the child was _his_ , just as it was hers. Human or elf, the child was a part of the woman that he loved. As such, he would love and cherish it just as much as he loved and cherished her.

All thoughts left him then as he felt his own release near the edge, tipping over and sending him into the sweet bliss of orgasm. And right there with him was his Riel, her nails digging into his back as her legs tightened around his waist. With his name on her lips, she came a split moment after him, driving his own pleasure higher.

Exhausted and spent, Zevran rolled to Riel's side and gathered her up into his arms. Pulling her tightly against him, Zevran showered her shoulder and neck with soft kisses, his mind awash with words of devotion far too numerous to say.

After a few moments of blissful silence, Riel sighed and squeezed one of his arms that was wrapped around her. "Zevran…?"

"Mmhmm…" he murmured, still lost in the bliss of their love making.

"I think…." Riel paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "I think I'm with child..."

Zevran's eyes opened wide as he sat up so he could look at her better. "You… what?" he uttered in shock. "H-how… How do you know?" As far as he knew, Riel was either in too much pain or unconscious when the Lady of the Forest told them about Riel.

Riel smiled shyly, her eyes moving to his shoulder as her mind returned to her dream. "A… wolf told me…"

"A wolf? Like the spirit in the ruins?"

"No… It was in the Fade. I was dreaming, and then suddenly he was there. It was strange. Normally I don't remember my dreams, but this one still seems so clear…" A blush came to Riel's face as she mentally went over the dream once more. "Oh forget it. It's probably just a stupid dream! For all I know, it was Fen'Harel playing his tricks on me!"

"Riel… Your dream…" Zevran paused, looking down at Riel. "It's true. Wynne and the Dalish healer confirmed it. You carry a child within you…"

Now it was Riel's eyes that went wide with surprise. "Really? Are you sure?"

Zevran nodded his head. "It is true. They do not know how far along you are, but there is a life within you."

A bright smile spread across Riel's face a moment before her arms wrapped around Zevran and pulled him down into a tight embrace. "Oh Zevran!" she exclaimed in joyful happiness. A thought then came to her, and she slightly pushed Zevran back. "Is that what you didn't tell me?"

Again Zevran nodded his head, feeling shame begin to twist in his stomach as he remembered the doubts that troubled him. Doubts that he had built over long hours of watching over her while she rested, and to his shame grew to the point where they threatened his precious time with his Riel. Regret over his previous thoughts were like a dagger in his lungs, making it hard to breathe.

"Back when I was recruited by Duncan, he told me one night that it was extremely unlikely that a Grey Warden could have children. Yet he did hear tales of it occasionally happening. It was just another story that he told at night while we travelled to Ostagar, but I remember clearly thinking that night that Grey Warden or no, I would _never_ want something to happen to me." Riel paused as she remembered her past. "After spending so many years with those men, I thought that it wasn't possible to happen to me anyway. Something I was _grateful_ for. But now that I am with you…"

Riel watched Zevran's expression as she spoke, seeing his eyes flicker through various emotions. Joy, love, amazement, but also regret, shame and sadness. Worry latching hold in her chest, Riel felt tears prick at her eyes.

"Wait… You're sad, aren't you? That was the look you gave me earlier. Not just that you knew, but didn't tell me…" Riel pushed herself up on her elbows as she stared at him, her mind racing. "You _regret_ this, don't you? You _regret_ that I have a child within me…"

Zevran hurriedly cupped Riel cheek, her head shaking back and forth. "No! No, that is not it at all! Please, do not think such a thing!" he pleaded as he reached for her. Yet Riel pulled away, her hands going to the fur blanket at her side and pulling it over herself.

"I see it in your eyes! You regret it! Why? Am I not good enough? Or is it because I am tainted? That is it, isn't it? Afraid I will birth some sort of Darkspawn monster?" Riel's face suddenly blanched as her own words registered in her mind. "Oh dear Creators… That _is_ possible, isn't it? Or the werewolf curse! What if that _changed_ the child inside of me?! By the gods, I _am_ cursed!" Riel screamed out, tears falling down from her eyes as she cried.

"Riel! Riel listen to me!" Zevran called out her, reaching for her arms to still her. Finally he managed to wrap his arms around her and pull her against him. "You are _not_ cursed. The child will be fine. Wynne and the Dalish healer both said that the the child you carry is well and and healthy."

Riel shook her head, fear still grasping at her mind and chest. "I _**am**_ cursed, Zevran. _Beyond_ the Taint. _Beyond_ the werewolf curse. I was cursed the moment I was born. And now I have passed it along to the innocence inside of me…"

" _Mi bella_ , listen to me…" Zevran gently lifted her face up to meet his. "You are _**not**_ cursed. And neither is the child that you carry. You are beautiful and fierce, and beyond amazing. You are a treasure the likes of which this world has never before seen. And I will spend the rest of my life showing you that." Zevran gently tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear before continuing to stare into her eyes. "My only regret is that I did not tell you straight away. Wynne thought it best to wait until you were healed fully to tell you the wonderful - and yes, it **is** wonderful - news. However, know that I have _**never**_ regretted being with you, or what will come of us being together as we have been."

"There is more to it than that, Zevran. I _know_ you. What is it that you are not telling me?"

Zevran sighed heavily as he tried to pick the best words to express his shameful doubts. "I… I was asked a question. One I do not know the answer to. One I still do not know the answer to. However, it was my doubts over the question that I felt shame over, _not_ you. My regret is that I let those doubts cloud my mind, instead of taking joy in the miracle that the gods have gifted you with. Know that **never** once have I ever regretted or found shame in what we have."

"What was the question?"

Zevran paused again as he looked into her pleading eyes. "I was asked… If I knew if the child was mine…" he softly uttered, shame deepening his voice.

Riel rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Of course the child would be yours! I may not know much of this sort of thing, but I haven't been-" Riel stopped as she remembered her encounter with her old master a few weeks ago. Instantly her blood chilled and all the color drained from her face. "Oh… no…." she breathed as panic and dread filled her.

"It doesn't matter, Riel. The child you carry is a part of you. Anything else does not matter," Zevran hurried stated after he watched her pale as realization dawned on her.

"It could be… It could be... " she repeated in panic fueled dread. "It could be _hu_ -"

"It _**will**_ _**be**_ your child, Riel. Do not doubt that!" Zevran interrupted her, making his point clear to her.

Riel looked up at him with fresh tears in her eyes. "Oh dear gods, Zevran… I am _so_ sorry…" she cried wistfully.

"No. Never apologize to me. Not for this. Never for what happened. These things are not your fault. And what comes of this is not your fault either." Zevran could see her mentally fighting his words, her objections going unvoiced yet still swirling inside of her mind. "I love you, Riel. More than you can ever imagine. And as such, I will love this child as if it were my own, no matter what. For it _is_ you. The very best parts of you. Whether I am it's true father or not, I will raise it and care for it as if it were my blood. I will not leave you to this. Remember, you are _**never**_ alone. I am here, and I will stay here by your side. For as long as you wish it."

Riel collapsed into Zevran's arms and sobbed heavily. Tears spilling forth not just for her fears, but her joys as well. Fears over what is to come, and just what exactly she carried within her stomach. And her joys at the love Zevran had for her, and she for him. Over his declarations of support and love for the life that she carried.

For a long while she sobbed until every last tear fell from her eyes and her body finally calmed. Still Zevran held on to her, his hand gently rubbing her back and smoothing her hair while he hummed a soft tune to her.

"Yes," she whispered after a while, breaking the silence that had fallen between them.

"Hmm? I don't understand."

"The answer to the question asked to you," she replied, her voice a bit stronger. "It _is_ yours."


	61. A Talk with a Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mierda: Antivan. "Shit." A common swear word.
> 
> Mi amiga: Antivan. "My friend."

Human.

A _human_ child.

Despite what she had claimed the night before, the thought of the child she carried being human still refused to let Riel be. It was the last thought that tormented her as sleep finally claimed her, and the first that came to her mind in the morning. And in between her dreams haunting her, repeatedly bringing to her mind all the humans that she had known in her life. And not just their faces, but what they had done to her.

 _Paid_ to do to her.

A prize to be won over card games, or bartered for drinking money. Not just any elf, but a _child_ elf. A young girl to have to her innocence stolen again and again by grown human men, looking for a novelty. Her silver eyes adding to the allure. Her scars only a mild deterrent to their perverted lusts. Kept on her back, they were hardly visible. Only the one on her face acting to tarnish her in the eyes of those who bought her.

Something which lowered her _value_ , Riel often heard. Instead of golden sovereigns, she could only gain mere _silvers_ for her masters. And as she aged, more of her _value_ disappeared. Another fact that she was reminded of often by the men who had owned her.

 _Human_ men.

For all the elven bandits and cutthroats that Riel had met and killed over these past few months, it was always the human males that gave her the most satisfaction in killing. Their gasps of surprise while the light in their eyes slowly faded… Each death returning a small sliver of the innocent girl that she never was. Never could have been.

True, there were many good and noble human men in the world. Many who had even helped and offered kindness and respect to her. However, Riel had to wonder how much of that respect and kindness was due to her status as a Grey Warden? How much of their pleasant words and pretty smiles were out of feigned respect for a title, and not for the woman that she was?

An _elven_ woman.

Who may now be carrying yet another one of their kind within her belly…

Riel let her hand slip down the lower part of her abdomen as her mind tormented her with images from her past. Would her child become like them? Would it grow up to abuse and spit on elves? To force himself on them, while they cried and begged for mercy? Even if its own mother were an elf, would that stem whatever hatred and ugliness that humans had for her kind?

How can a child created in such an act of violence, not have that violence become a part of it? Didn't her Keeper say that children were embodiments of their parent's? If that were true, what would a human child born from a brutal slave master be like? Even if she were to raise it with all the love she could give, would that matter? Or would she be bringing into this world another holder of whips and chains? A cruel face who stole children in the dead of night and violated them in ways too horrific to utter?

Would her child be the son of Dalish elf, a bridge between the world of humans and elves? Or would she bear forth yet another evil, corrupted by the lineage of its progenitor, twisted by the evil Taint that flowed in her veins into something far worse than even her old masters were? Could she live with herself if her child became such a monster?

Could she live with herself if she knew that because of her, countless other small elven girls would suffer as she had?

"Mythal, guide me…" Riel quietly prayed in the darkness of the araval.

Careful to not disturb the sleeping male beside her, Riel let her fears and memories of her past bleed from her as she held in the sobs that threatened her. With silent tears sliding down her cheeks, she repeated the simple prayer over and over again in her mind.

_Please Mythal… Please, don't let it be human. Please… Let this child be his…_

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

"Mythal, guide me…"

They quiet prayer would probably have gone unheard to human ears. Probably to many elven, even. However, he was no average elf. With senses trained and honed through years living as an assassin, even the barely whispered words rang clear in his ears. And combined with the nearly invisible shudders of withheld tears, it did not take magic to that the woman lying next to him was suffering.

With her back to him and curled into a ball, she seemed so tiny then. A true dichotomy, of fierce power and deadly precision, his Riel was a force to be feared by her enemies. Her will alone could shake mountains down to their core. Her inner strength tested by the hottest fires, it remained unbending to those who wished to harm her. To any who looked upon her, Riel was a titan. Strong and tall and fierce in all that she did.

Only a very few ever saw her without the protective guard that she wore. And out of those few, only he ever saw her as she was now. The knowledge was both a treasured prize he held in deep reverence. And also a heartbreaking curse. To see her so fragile, and know that there was little that he could do. Even less that he could say. What could he say that he hadn't said before? What words would mean more than the ones he had already uttered to her?

Is there any that would suffice? Or would he continue to fail her, both in word and in deed?

 _Mierda_ … Zevran cursed to himself. To be so close, yet to have nothing to give to her. And even after all he had done to try and make up for his failings, for his pinnacle failure to come back like this to haunt them both still. His more dire of failed promises… His worst of broken oaths to her…

To protect her from ever having to endure what she had in her past…

To never let anyone hurt her that way again…

The promises echoed around in his mind, mocking him in the darkness. Bouncing off his skull, reminding him of that terrible night. The image of her lying helpless underneath that monster… Her screams as he pulled the arrow from her. The look of fear in her eyes as he cut free the collar that held her still.

A nightmare made not of hidden fears of what ifs or what could be. But what _is_. What _was_. **His** failure. **His** broken promises to her. And now because of him, the woman he loved was still suffering.

Zevran never really gave much thought to children, whether they be his or someone else's. Although he was one a only few of his brothers who refused to accept contracts involving their deaths. To him, children were a gift from the gods. However, he never before thought that he would ever have one himself. Living the life of an assassin didn't lend to thoughts of such fancy. To keep yourself alive was hard enough. To keep others alive in such a deadly world of cutthroats and fellow assassins? Especially ones so small and defenceless? Not to mention the simple fact that any child unfortunately enough to be born to a Crow were taken by the elders of the clans, to be raised as one of them. Or to die in training.

Yet now, with the thought that his Riel was with child… Zevran found himself wondering if this truly was a gift from the gods. Or was it a curse for all the death and suffering he had caused in his life. If not a curse upon himself, then surely on Riel herself.

To have his fierce and proud woman reduced to silent tears, shaking and afraid for what she might be carrying… Zevran would gladly submit himself to any torture or any pain, if only to free her from this. To bring her out of this war against Archdemons and Darkspawn. To end her fears and make it so she would no longer have to shed another tear out of sadness or pain.

Zevran wrapped his arm around Riel, his hand finding hers as it clutched at her midsection. Her tears fell hot on his skin as his other arm slipped under her and pulled her against him. There was no need to guess what thoughts plagued her mind just then. What images haunted her mind, or what horrors rang in her ears. And with each tremble of her tiny body and every shed tear that fell unto his skin, Zevran hated himself ever more.

 _ **You**_ _caused this…_ he admonished silently to himself. _This is the result of_ _ **your**_ _failure to protect her as you had promised._ Sighing heavily, Zevran placed a chaste kiss to Riel's shoulder as his mind reeled. _The bastard Talav was right. I_ _ **am**_ _a weapon. A tool to be discarded when no longer needed. I have no purpose other than to destroy. Even the most beautiful and precious treasures in this world would fall to my destruction. Just as I have destroyed her, the most precious of them all._

"Riel… I-" he began, but was cut off by her interrupting him.

"I don't want this, Zevran... I _can't_ do this… Not like this…" she softly cried, her voice barely audible.

Zevran stiffened instantly. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that this was a possibility. A thought that wormed its way through his own tormented mind, a constant reminder of what could be. However he always pushed the thought away. Too unbearable to think of, Zevran prayed that perhaps Riel would choose something different for herself and the child that she carried. For even if the child she bore wasn't his, he would raise and love it as his own. As it was also a part of _her_.

However, as an almost nightmarish premonition, the idea of her refusing the life that she held refused to leave him. It wasn't as if it were something unheard of, especially in Antiva amongst the Crows. Countless herbs and tonics seemed to exist to aid women who didn't wish to bear a child. And where before Zevran also felt that such a decision was a woman's alone to make, to have such a thing being uttered by her now… Zevran felt his whole body constrict. As if his heart and lungs were wrapped in a shrinking cloth, draining both the blood and air from his body.

"I ah… I see…" Zevran replied stiffly. He than sat up and reached for his clothes, roughly pulling them on as his mind raged in whirlwind of chaos. When he had his trousers and tunic on he paused and looked over to Riel. "I will… I fetch the healers… So you may…-" Zevran couldn't even bring himself to say the words. Stuck in his throat, the thoughts of what was about to happen causing pricks of tears at his eyes. "I will be back soon…"

Zevran then quickly left the araval, fearful of what he may say next. To beg her, perhaps, to reconsider. To plead and cry that she change her mind. However, it was not his place to ask such things of her. No matter his own desire, he would not force such a thing on her. Too much had been forced upon her against her will already. So even as each step away from the araval in which she waited felt as if a thousand daggers in his heart, Zevran allowed his feet to take him to the healers araval.

"Zevran? By the Maker! What is wrong?"

Zevran lifted his eyes from his feet to look into the worried green gaze of Leliana. Immediately his mind tried forming the appropriate greeting he should utter to the human female. A smile to offer, while he bantered away despite the turmoil in his mind. However when he went to open his mouth, nothing but a strangled cry came forth. Foul and treacherous tears slid down his cheeks, betraying him to all those around them.

Without a word Leliana took Zevran by the arm and led him away from the cluster of aravals that made up the homes of the Dalish clan. Past ancient trees and overgrown brush until only the faintest echoes of the elves could be heard. Leliana then stopped and pulled a cloth from her side pack and wiped down one side of Zevran's face, and then the other. Still she was silent, her eyes bearing all the questions she held back.

"You are far too kind, _mi amiga_ …" Zevran finally managed to croak, taking the cloth from her hands.

"Is it Riel? Is she okay?"

Zevran looked away and was silent for a brief moment before he nodded. "She… She wishes to end the…" Zevran coughed, clearing his throat before forcing himself to continue. "She wishes to end the pregnancy," he stated flatly, still keeping his eyes away from hers.

Leliana gasped, her hand coming up to her mouth. "By the Maker! Why?"

Zevran took a few steps, his mind far too active to stand still. "She fears it may be human. Or cursed because of the Taint. Or perhaps even both…"

"But why would she think it would be human?"

Zevran looked back at her, his eyes shining from more unshed tears. "Because I _failed_ her. And because of my failure, the slavers who took her…" Zevran paused, his sorrow under a sudden release of anger. Screaming out in frustration, he swung a fist into a nearby tree. "It is **my** fault! She suffers this because of **me!** " he roared, punching the tree again. Then a third time. And a fourth. Again and again, Zevran lashed out at the trees surrounding them.

Suddenly Leliana was there, getting in the way of his fist and the tree behind her. However Zevran managed to pull back his strike barely in time to keep from hitting her. "Zevran! Zevran listen to me! It is **not** your fault! This is not your doing!" she screamed at him.

However Zevran's mind refused to let her words in. Again and again it bombarded him with the images of that night. The screams and the sounds and the sight of her helpless were repeated endlessly in his mind. "You weren't there, Leliana! You didn't see what I did! What _**he**_ was doing to her! You weren't there to hear her scream when I cut that blasted collar from her neck! Or to have to cause her further pain by removing that barbed arrow from her leg! I **was!** I remember it all! I remember the look of terrified horror on her face! The blood that covered her skin! All these images in my mind, reminding me always of how out of every broken promise I ever made to her, that **one** alone is unforgivable! And now because of my failure, she cries alone, wishing to be rid of the child she carries, on the chance that it might owe part of its parentage to the sick bastards who did that to her!"

Zevran twisted around and back kicked a thin sapling near to where Leliana stood. The force of the kick snapped the tree with a piercing crack, causing it to topple over. Heaving in deep breathes, Zevran stood watching the fallen tree, his fists balled tightly at his side.

Slowly Leliana approached him, her cautious steps sounding much louder than they should have been on the leafy forest floor. " **You** were the one to save her from them. And now the one who did that to her is dead, Zevran. _**You**_ made sure of that, remember?"

The heated fury that fueled him a moment ago fled almost as quickly as it had come, leaving only the deepening sadness and grief. With tears in his eyes Zevran looked over to Leliana. "If only I was faster… I heard her scream… Yet by the time I…" Zevran closed his eyes and shook his head. "If I had just stayed in camp that night…"

Leliana stepped up close to Zevran and placed her hands on either side of his face. "You saved her. **You** did that. And not just that night. By everything you have done for her since joining us all those months ago. Since that first night when Riel brought you back to camp, you have saved her."

"If I recall correctly, I believe that day I had tried to _kill_ her…" Zevran replied with a sorrowful grin.

"True.." Leliana giggled softly. "However, that was also the day that you began to _save_ her."

"I don't understand."

"Before you, Riel was always angry. She hardly smiled, and each day it seemed as if more and more of her was becoming lost. And each night, her nightmares would come and she would cry and scream in her sleep. She was miserable, and nothing any of us could do would change that. Than one day you appeared and _everything_ changed. Riel began to smile more. She started talking more. Little things at first, but gradually she opened up. _You_ did that, Zevran. _You_ saved her from the worst enemy she ever had. Her own past."

Zevran took Leliana's hands from his face and held them together in front of him. "She has saved _me_ far more than I ever saved her, _mi amiga_. I am only the fool lucky enough to be allowed to love her."

"Then go to her, Zevran. She needs you. Now more than ever."

"But what about-?" Zevran asked, his eyes going wide as he remembered what she asked of him.

"She is scared. Even under normal circumstances, a child can be frightening for a woman. For someone like her who had suffered so much, it can be even more so. Just give her time, Zevran. And be there for her, no matter what she decides. I think it might also perhaps help for her to have another woman to talk to. If you don't mind that is…"

Zevran smiled broadly down at the red head. "You are a true friend, Leliana. Thank you."

Leliana stretched up and wrapped her arms around Zevran's neck, pulling him into a tight hug. "I care about you, Zevran. _Both_ of you have come to mean a lot to me, and I would do anything for either of you."

Zevran was stiff under her touch, yet still managed to lightly return her embrace. For a man who had once prided himself on his ability to cause people pleasure, now touching another person - especially another woman - was awkward and uncomfortable to him. His affections belonged to only one now, and while he appreciated the gesture, Zevran was still thankful when Leliana released him and stepped away.

"Why don't I go speak with Riel first? In the meantime, you can gather some food and drink for her. After all, she is eating for two now, isn't she?"

"You are right of course. Thank you, Leliana."

"Of course. What are friends for?" Leliana replied, offering him a playful wink. "Now go on. Let us girls chat. You go play the dutiful husband."

Zevran bowed down in an exaggerated flourish. "As always, _mi amiga_."

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

From the shadows, it was hard to make out exactly what was said. However, one phrase seemed tuned precisely to find his ears….

" _I care about you, Zevran."_

The words made his blood boil and his vision flash red. And when he witnessed the two embrace, it took all of his training to keep himself hidden where he was. With white knuckles, he clutched at his sword, imagining over and over again sinking the blade into the traitorous elf's chest. To have one woman stolen away from him was bad enough. But to have the Voidborn elf steal what real happiness he had found himself…

That was _**too**_ much.

The damnable elf _had_ to die.


	62. A Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Mild Mature rating (18+) warning for some adult content. Also, have a box of tissues handy.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Todo está bien: Antivan. "All is well."
> 
> Piel hermosa: Antivan. "Beautiful skin."

 

Riel stared unblinkingly at the walls of the araval. She had lost count of the long minutes that passed while she waited for Zevran to return. Too many. Her inner thoughts continued to circle and attack her without mercy, reminding her of every frightening possibility that awaited her. Human or elf. Tainted abomination born of evil. Cursed from the moment of birth, as she had been.

She wanted to believe otherwise. She prayed and pleaded with the old Elvhen gods to grant her a child not just born free of the Taint she carried, but also one of elven blood. With tears in her eyes and heavy sobs in her chest, Riel had begged that Zevran was the one who was the father of the young life. So desperately had she cried to any gods that would listen, so that she began to feel empty inside. Her tears now spent, all she could do was stare off into the darkness, barely aware of her own surroundings.

"My my…" tsked Morrigan, her biting voice slicing through the deep silence that hung around Riel like a noose. "Are you going to lie there all day, girl?"

Riel lifted her eyes up the witch briefly before returning to stare at the walls at the araval. As the silence stretched on and she continued to not address the other woman, Morrigan huffed out an irritated sigh before sitting down next to where Riel was laid. Awkwardly she shuffled her body before finding a comfortable place that still kept a small distance between their two bodies. Then with another sigh, Morrigan leaned her back against the araval wall and let silence once more take over.

"'Tis the most valuable lessons that are oft' the hardest," she finally said. Still Riel remained motionless, her eyes locked on a spot of the wall next to where Morrigan sat. "You worry ov'r the child that you bear, do you not?"

This time Riel's eyes flickered up briefly to meet Morrigan's, yet they returned again to the spot on the wall just as quickly.

"What is it then? What fear has you huddled up in here while your man walks as if he has met death?" Still Riel remained silent, causing Morrigan's irritation to rise. "Fine. If you will not speak of it, I shall. What those men did to you is of no consequence when it comes to the life you carry."

That got Riel's attention. With a horrified look on her face, Riel sat up and looked upon the witch while fresh tears built in her eyes."H-how… how…"

"How did I know that this is what plagues you? 'Tis not hard to assume. Or do you inquire as to how I would know such an event would not be of consequence?"

"T-that man… He…"

"What that fool did was wretched and if your man had not seen to his demise _**I**_ certainly would have," Morrigan spat out angrily. "If you ask me, he received _far_ too little punishment for his deeds, yet I suppose it shall do given the circumstance." Morrigan shifted uncomfortably as silence once again bit at the space between the two women. After a moment she continued, her fingers playing idly with the edges of the blanket that covered Riel. "Men can be the most foulest of creatures in all of the world. This I know full well. However, there are the rare few who do seem to make dallying with them worthwhile…"

"What if it's…" Riel started then paused, shaking her head. "I don't know if I can do this, Morrigan. Not if that _man…_ "

"Tell me one thing, and think first before you answer. When that beast was on you, did he _finish_?"

"F-f-finish?" Riel stuttered, her features going white.

Morrigan rolled her eyes before once more shifting her position. "Did he _orgasm_?" she asked again, her voice more impatient this time.

"I-I d-don't know…"

"I heard tell that this beast of a man was one of the same who held you before you escaped to the Dalish. 'Tis true?"

Again Riel's face blanched, her eyes falling to her lap where her white knuckled fingers twisted around each other. Instead of answering however, she simply nodded her head, keeping her head bowed.

"And in all that time, you bore no child from them?"

Riel felt bile rise in her throat, thinking back to her time imprisoned by her former masters. Inside of her chest, her heart pounded so hard she felt as if it would escape from behind her ribs. Quickly Riel shook her head, too ashamed to answer verbally.

"Were you given tonics or herbs to keep a child from growing?"

Riel once more shook her head.

"Interesting…" Morrigan stated, her brow raising in surprise.

"I-it wasn't until the Dalish found me… That I learned anything about…" Riel paused to wipe away the tears that fell from her eyes. "By the Creators, I didn't know _anything_! It was only when a woman from my clan became pregnant that I found out that was even how it was done! I had no idea how children were born, or anything! I _still_ don't understand it all!"

Morrigan waited through the fresh sobs that battered Riel and caused her to double over until her head was nearly in the witch's lap. On and on she cried, and through it all Morrigan waited patiently until finally the last sob broke free and Riel once more became silent.

"Here me when I say this… I know not what kept you barren during your ordeal at those monster's hands. Only that I suspect that whatever it was has continued to work during your most recent torment."

Riel sat up and pegged the woman with a questioning look of surprise.

"If you did not bear a child in all those years at their hands, than I doubt that the one you carry now would be so sired. 'Twould not be a surprise in fact for it to be born with the golden eyes of a certain male elf," Morrigan replied with soft smile. "Or perhaps fate shall be kinder and grant it the silver of yours?"

From deep inside Riel's mind came a fragmented memory. Of a wooded grove, and a woman whose face she couldn't remember. Kind words spoken, and a warning given that she couldn't remember. Yet still out of the fog that plagued her mind, two sentence stood out the most.

_The issue of burden that you carry will hold the blood of both silver and gold._

_I would not have allowed it otherwise._

"Morrigan, I-"

"Please, hold your tongue," Morrigan interrupted with a raise of her hand. "I came not to rally spirits or divulge any wisdom. Only to see how you fared after the events in the ruins. Your man looked bereft as he left these quarters, and I must admit that it did raise my concern for your well being."

"He thinks…" Riel began, but paused and shook her head. "Tell me, Morrigan, would you keep it?"

"'Tis not a question you should be asking one such as I," Morrigan stated with roll of her eyes. "Children are loathsome creatures, no matter who sires them. What with the whining and crying and foul smells… I endure enough of such nonsense from Alistair as it is!"

Riel couldn't hold back the laughter at the witch's remark, and with it came a strange sense of ease. As if a weight had been lifted off her chest, finally allowing her to breathe.

"Well, it seems that I wasn't alone in wondering how our fearless leader was doing."

Both women looked over to see Leliana entering the small araval. The landships were not overly large to begin with, and with the three of them now inside, the available space inside reduced even further. Riel backed up against the far wall of the araval, giving the bard room enough to sit down, and even then knees would touch if they were not mindful of their position.

"Speak for yourself, woman!" Morrigan griped, the smile she fought back betraying her serious tone. "I came not to 'check up' on her as some doting mother would. I merely came to see if Riel required anything from herb satchel."

"Uh huh… Of course…" Leliana replied with a wink. Ignoring the witch's angry glare, she then turned to Riel and her smile became more concerned than friendly. "How are you feeling?"

Riel paused as she thought over the answer. Truly, she was still a mess, both inside and out. As much as talking with Morrigan alleviated some of her inner turmoil, there was still so much that still needed to be dealt with. Things she didn't know the answer to, or even begin to know how to handle. With a sad smile and tears building in her eyes, she faced her friend and sighed. "I don't know."

"Oh sweetie…" Leliana stated, her hand squeezing Riel's knee gently. "We'll help you through this. You're not alone." Leliana paused and took a breath, as if steadying herself before continuing on. "So… Zevran came and spoke with me…"

"Mythal's grace! Does everyone know?" Riel cursed out, swiping at the tears in her eyes.

"Only a few of us," Leliana hurriedly replied. "Other than Zevran, Wynne and the Dalish healer Varela, Morrigan and myself."

"I can only imagine what Zevran told you…" Riel stated with a slight sniff.

Leliana paused, her features becoming sullen. "He told me… He said that you wished to end it. The pregnancy."

"Foolishness!" Morrigan spat out in a frustrated sigh.

"I already asked your opinion! You said to not ask you!"

"Aye! You asked what I would do if 'twas I in your place. Not what _you_ should do!"

Riel rolled her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall behind her. "You're _not_ helping…"

"Is that what you want, Riel?" Leliana asked tentatively.

Again the half remembered words from Riel's dream came back to her. _Gold and silver…_ _Dare I hope? But what if…_

"There are many 'what if's' in life," Leliana stated, almost as if she heard the words that Riel had thought. "What matters is what we do, and what our heart tells us. What does your heart tell you, Riel?"

Riel thought about Leliana's words. Searching inside of herself, at first all Riel could feel was the fear that had crippled her. A deepening darkness of doubt and paranoia that threatened to once more take over and reduce her to tears that wracked through her whole body. However past that… Past the doubts and fear that assaulted her. Beyond the darkness that threatened to overwhelm her. There was a single light that continued to burn.

Hope. More than that, there was love. A deep, unending love swelling from a place buried under all the negative emotions that plagued her. Yet still it grew strong, it's light and warmth stretching up past the darkness and becoming a gentle caress that soothed away the fear that she had felt.

"Whoa! Riel!" Riel opened her eyes at Leliana's outburst, wondering what had worried her friend. "Look at yourself! You're _on fire_!"

Riel looked down at herself and burst out laughing. There along her skin was the calm fire that was her own. Little flame glided up her arms, taking over her upper body before spreading to the rest of her body until she was all but consumed by it's burning light. Riel lifted up her hand and turned it around, examining it as the fire danced along her skin.

"How are you doing that?" Leliana asked, her eyes wide in wonder.

"Interesting…" was all Morrigan said, her tone more calculating than questioning.

The flames that sprang forth from Riel then jumped to Leliana, causing her to shriek out in surprise. "Riel! What is happening?" she exclaimed as she watched with wide eyes as the flames spread up her own body. At first Leliana patted at them, trying to put them out. Yet still they continued, consuming her in their gentle light as they did to Riel.

A moment later, the flames covering Riel jumped to the other side of her, finding Morrigan's body. The spread of the flames on her body were slower, almost hesitant as they climbed up her body. Still they consumed her as they did to the other women. Morrigan lifted her own hand to her face, examining the flames more closely.

" _Very_ interesting…" she remarked, a strange smile on her lips.

Suddenly the door to the araval opened, startling all three women. The flames that had been covering each of them vanished, retreating back into Riel as quickly as the rapid beat of her heart.

"My my… Am I interrupting?" Zevran stated with a small smile, his eyes finding Riel in the back of the araval and staying on her.

Riel felt her face flush, her gaze moving to the two other women before falling down to her lap. "N-no…" she managed to say, a curious shyness overtaking her.

Leliana looked between the two elves, seeing Zevran staring intently at Riel while she fidgeted with the edges of the blanket that covered her. "Perhaps Morrigan and I should go see how the midday meal is coming? While I am sure the other Dalish would be faring well enough, who knows what disasters the men in our own group have created… By the Maker, Oghren thinks that dirt is an ingredient!" she stated with a soft giggle. Leliana then nodded to Morrigan. "Come on Morrigan. Or else _all_ of us will be needing the herbs in your satchel to calm our stomachs!"

Morrigan rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. "I do not see why you all must come to _me_ at every bodily upset. I am sure Wynne's magic would do just as well as my tonics."

"Yes, but then we wouldn't get the delight pleasure of your company," laughed Leliana. " _Todo está bien_ ," she whispered to him as she walked past Zevran and out of the araval.

Zevran looked to her briefly, surprise in his eyes before returning his gaze to Riel. Following shortly behind Leliana was Morrigan who merely nodded her head towards the Antivan before exiting, leaving the two of them alone once more. Still silence persisted, weighing heavily between them. Finally Zevran cleared his throat and sat down, taking up the spot that Morrigan was previously in.

"I am pleased to see you awake," he stated, offering her a shallow smile. Riel didn't lift her eyes, yet a small smile did grace her lips at his words. Again silence reigned between them, each unsure of what to say. After a while Zevran reached across the short distance between them and took her hand in his. "I have just realized that we have been free of those dusty old ruins for a full day now, and I have yet to see to your bath!"

This time Riel lifted her eyes, tears sparkling in her eyes. "Zevran, you don't have-"

"Nonsense!" Zevran replied, interrupting her protests. "I know how you enjoy being free from the dirt and blood from our travels. And I have failed in my duties as your loyal follower to have neglected such an important task!" Zevran stood and pulled Riel up with him, however he paused when he noticed the blanket she had covering herself fall to the ground, revealing her naked body. "Well, this won't do. You are far too gorgeous to walk around without suitable clothing covering you. I fear I may end up taking my dagger to all of the men in this camp if they were to stare luridly at your naked form."

Riel giggled, a blush coming to her face. She quickly looked around the araval, yet she didn't see any of their bags that held all of their extra things. Thinking for a moment, she instead turned and bent over to pick up the blanket she had been using.

From behind her came Zevran's sharp intake of breath. Facing him again, Riel was surprised to find him looking at her through hooded eyes, a deepening look of desire in his gaze. "Yes, it would be _far_ too dangerous to let you roam free as you are, _mi bella_ ," he purred, his hand skimming up the side of her body before gently clasping Riel's neck in his palm.

"Oh?" Riel teased, a small lift to the corners of her mouth despite the serious look she held.

"Forgive me, _mi bella_ , but I simply cannot let others so unworthy of you gaze upon your naked flesh. Such thoughts that would arise in their minds…" Zevran paused, letting his thumb trail across Riel's bottom lip. "You would make even the most ardent of Chantry brothers wanton with lust. Something that I simply cannot abide by."

Riel smiled bashfully as she wrapped the blanket around herself. "And why would that be, ser elf?"

Zevran lifted her chin so her eyes once more met his. His amber eyes burned with lust and deep, unending love. After pausing for moment, Zevran leaned in close to her, his lips grazing the edges of her ear. "Because, _emma lath_ , you're _**mine**_ …" he purred deeply, sending shivers down Riel's body.

Riel jumped slightly when she felt his hands move to the edges of the blanket she held, where they quickly tied a secure knot, binding the fabric to her body. This time when he looked at her, his eyes no longer held the same desire and lust in them. Instead they looked said, almost regretful as they gazed on her. The look remained, even as he smiled warmly down at her.

"Come _mi bella_ , let us see to your bath. There is a fresh stream not too far from here, just beyond the Dalish camp." Zevran took her hand in his and led her from the araval, barely taking his eyes from her as he guided her.

They were silent as they walked, Riel smiling shyly at the Dalish elves she had met or recognized from before. And the whole while, Zevran kept his arms protectively - possessively - around Riel's waist. Such an action should have bothered Riel, yet she found herself thankful for his closeness, enjoying the feeling of safety that she felt with his arm around her.

 _This is right..._ she mused silently to herself. To have him beside her like this was more than just merely welcome in her mind. It was _needed_. After so much that had happened recently, she needed to feel the security in his touch. It helped ground her and allowed her to face the questioning looks of the other elves as they passed.

 _This is wrong…_ Zevran cursed to himself. He hated how he had let his own baser desires to once again go against the promises he had made to his Riel. Even now, with his arm wrapped tightly around her waist - a silent declaration to all who witnessed it that the woman beside him was _his_. An action compounding his earlier mistake into something beyond what he could easily apologize for. Yet what words would be sufficient, while at the same time not committing a lie?

In his heart, there was no denying the claim he had placed on the woman beside him. A claim to not just her love, but to her mind and body as well. A claim that he had sworn to never commit. For too long others had placed claims on her, and Zevran had never wanted to be one of those who had committed such a crime. In his mind, she was to always remain free. And yet here he was, declaring plainly that she was _his_. And not only making such a claim to her, but to all who looked upon them.

How was he any better than the people of her past?

 _I am such a bastard…_ Zevran cursed to himself. Yet still he held tight to Riel, guiding her past the the curious looks of the others. Past the aravals, and the playing children until they reached the edge of the camp and towards the soft sounds of rushing water.

Riel gasped as she looked on the stream they came too. "Zevran! It's beautiful!"

Surrounded by ancient tall trees heavy with the green leaves of summer, the babbling stream was several feet wide and looked deep enough in the center to come at least waist high. Up above the sky was clear, shining down warm rays, while a soft breeze blew occasionally, lifting Riel's hair free from her slender shoulders. With sporadic rocks along the edge of the water and within the stream itself, it looked almost idyllic in the early midday sun.

Zevran watched in breathless wonder as Riel smiled up at him. There has never been a woman so lovely or beautiful as she was. She was his perfection, his paradise. And when she smiled so fully, with the wind in her midnight hair and the sun touching her ivory skin, she became something out of legend. A goddess of exquisite beauty, capable of charming even the stoutest of clergy to temptation.

And even though he knew that he shouldn't, there was no denying the roaring part of his soul that wished to claim her as his alone. And therein laid his inner struggle. Between what he wanted - what he knew that he _should_ want - and what he desired. What he knew that he _already did_ want. What he craved. And Zevran knew that even if she denied him, he would spend the rest of his days never finding love or devotion like he felt with her. He was tied to by invisible chains. From the first moment he saw her, he was lost.

Even if the gods one day decreed that she would never be _his_ , Zevran knew that he would forever be _hers_.

"Come, _mi bella_ … Let me free you from the dirt that sullies your _piel hermosa_ …" he purred, taking her hand in his and guiding her to the stream.

Riel blushed as she walked after him, suddenly feeling uncertain of herself. Which was strange, considering how close they had become over these past few months. They had shared so much, and yet the look he gave to her then was one that never failed to cause her breath to quicken and her heart to beat harder. Part amazement, part love, and wholly erotic, he was everything she never she knew that she wanted. Never dreamed that she would ever want.

With golden hair that was braided at the temples, the ends lightly teasing his sun kissed bronzed shoulders. He wasn't overly muscular like many men Riel had seen. Instead his muscles were lithe with hidden power, coiled and refined, ready to strike should he need to. Standing by his side, Riel's forehead would brush against his lips, tempting a kiss from his far too soft lips.

To her, the Antivan assassin was everything. Savior. Protector. Lover. Friend. Companion. A man who wielded death so easily, had given her a life that she never thought possible. One filled with hope. With promise. And with boundless love.

"Zevran, there is something I need to tell you…"

Zevran covered her lips with his finger. "Shh, _mi bella_. It can wait. Please, let me tend to you," he murmured, his eyes casting sad shadows despite the smile on his lips.

Slowly Zevran led her over to the stream and guided her into the water. The warm summer sun had warmed the stream, easing the shock of the water against her skin. Carefully he brought her to a large stone sticking out of the water, and with a swift motion had lifted her and placed her atop of it. The warm water came to just under her knees even as she sat aloft on the rock, causing the small waves that rushed by to lightly tickle.

SIlently he reached into his side pack and pulled out a cloth, then rinsed it out in the water. "You know," he began, his eyes on the cloth in his hands. "I have taken to carrying two cloths in my pack. One for wiping down my blades, or used for various cleaning…" Zevran paused as he lifted up one of Riel's legs and began to lovingly run the cloth along it. "And another one, softer and smoother than the other. This one never touches my blades, or is used carelessly. For it handles something far more precious. Something that is both delicate, yet as strong as iron. A treasure…" Zevran's voice slightly broke as he whispered the last word. Yet still he kept his eyes on his work, watching with sad eyes as he brought the cloth against her skin.

From her feet, up to her knees, and higher up her thighs while still avoiding the juncture between them. When one leg was free of dirt and dried blood, Zevran bent down and placed a kiss just above her knee. Then he went to the other leg, following similar motions as the first. Regretfully, he wished he had brought some soap with him to wash her properly. Yet this would have to do, and he hoped that it would be enough. _Prayed_ that it would be.

"Zevran… I-"

"Please, _mi bella_ … Let me say this. Or I fear that I never shall…" he sighed, still holding her leg in his hand. Rinsing out the cloth, he then lifted her arm and set to work removing the dirt from there as well. "I know that you have been through much. Even in the short time that I have known you, you have suffered. Things beyond mentioning… Things that I blame myself for…" Zevran's voice hardened as he spoke, his brow furrowing in anger as his memory again tormented him. As he finished wiping down her arm, he placed a soft kiss to the back of her palm and then switched sides. "I have broken many promises to you. This I know. And I know that I am far from worthy for you, my failures only making it more so. I am a _weapon_. A tool to be used. Expendable. Disgardable. And when I can no longer uphold my use or fulfill the promises of my intent, I _should_ be tossed away."

Riel watched in tears as Zevran lifted her hand to his lips and placed a kiss against the back of her palm. She turned her hand over and placed it on his cheek, bringing his eyes finally to her own. "Zevran…"

"I have failed you, _mi bella_. But I promise you… I _**swear**_ on everything that I am, that if you keep this child, I will love both you and it like no other. I know that I cannot force you. And if you choose otherwise, I will you love you no less. I will be by your side through whatever you choose…. But _please_... Human or elf, I will love this child as my own. _Please_ , give me the chance to show you that."

Riel sat speechless, her heart both breaking and swelling at the same time for the man before her. Silently she took the cloth from his hands and used to wipe the tears from his face. Zevran closed his eyes and turned his head into her touch, kissing the inside of her wrist as she wiped his face clean.

"Zevran… I think you'll make a wonderful father…" Riel whispered, her own voice breaking.

He eyes snapped to hers, a look of surprise on his face, shifting to first to joy then to confusion in rapid flickers. "Do you mean…?"

Riel nodded her head, tears falling down her cheeks. "I'm keeping it. _Our_ child. And you _will_ be the father."

Zevran shouted out in joy as he wrapped his arms around Riel and lifted her from the rock that she sat on. With his face buried in her neck he twirled her around, Antivan phrases of love spilling forth from his lips. Riel giggled as she held on to him, her feet kicking up a splash of water as he swung her around.

"I'm going to be a father!" Zevran joyfully exclaimed loudly, the sound echoing against the trees and sending several birds to flight. Carefully he sat Riel down again before kissing her deeply. Joy quickly turned to passion as he leaned into her, with his hands moving to the tie that held the blanket to her body. With a quick pull he undid the knot, revealing her body to him as the blanket fell away. Wasting no time, Zevran's hand moved to her breasts, cupping them in his palm while his other arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her tightly against him.

Suddenly Zevran tensed and broke contact with Riel, his hand grabbing one of the daggers at his back and pulling it free. Leaving Riel's embrace, he stood and leveled the blade at the intruder, using his body to shield her own.

"You're _**pregnant?!**_ " Alistair shouted, his face mottled and red from both anger and exertion.


	63. Seeking Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
> Chapter rated M (18+) for adult content.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story! I would love to know your opinions!
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership! It means so much!
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Mi bella: Antivan. "My beauty." Endearment Zevran uses for Riel.
> 
> Persona sin valor: Antivan. "Worthless person."
> 
> Perdóname: Antivan. "Forgive me."
> 
> Mi amor: Antivan. "My love."
> 
> Emma lath: Elvhen. "My love."
> 
> Ma vhenan: Elvhen. "My heart."
> 
> Su preciado tesoro: Antivan. "Your precious treasure."
> 
> Mi diosa: Antivan. "My goddess."
> 
> Ar lath ma: Elvhen. "I love you."
> 
> Ar lath ma'en: Elvhen. "I love you too."
> 
> Pronto a ser esposa: Antivan. "Soon to be wife."
> 
> Da'len: Elvhen. "Little child, or little one."
> 
> Aneth ara: Elvhen. A friendly greeting with whom one is familiar.
> 
> Ashal Mirthadra: Elvhen. "Honored male."
> 
> Mah'vunin: Elvhen. "Tomorrow morning."
> 
> Shem: Short for "Shemlen". Elven. Derogatory word used for humans. Means literally "quick children".
> 
> Shemlen: Elvhen. Literally "quick children". The original name of the Elves for the human race. Often used in a derogatory sense.

It was amazing how quickly things could change. Where a time of peace and happiness could turn so quickly to one of anger and distrust within barely the time of a heartbeat. And during those times, the mind would sometimes have such a trouble coming to terms with the change in events that it would leave the person confused and lost. Words would get misheard and actions would get misunderstood. And worst of all, the memory of these events would get so blurred that even later, it would be difficult to look back and see what truly happened.

This is exactly what happened to Riel. One moment she and Zevran were alone in the stream, laughing and happy at the new future that they shared. The next…

"What are you doing here, _Templar_?" Zevran seethed angrily at Alistair.

Alistair ignored the male elf standing in front of him, however, and instead focused past him to Riel. "Why didn't you tell me?" he questioned, disbelief and and bewilderment over taking his features.

"You do **not** speak to her! You speak to me!" Zevran again hissed, altering his position to once more block Alistair's sight to Riel.

Riel herself was so agast in shock that she just sat there, her mouth agape in stunned silence. Alistair's presence threw off her already fragile mindset to the point where she couldn't think or even react properly. Instead she remained still, not even knowing to cover herself with the blanket that now rested at her sides.

"Alistair! Please, let's just go!" Leliana called out as she rushed up to Alistair's side. Putting her hand on his arm, she tried to guide him away, yet he refused to be moved.

Ignoring both Leliana's concern and Zevran's threats, Alistair continued shouting past the assassin to Riel beyond. "Are you _insane_ Riel? Do you have any idea what could come of this? A child with the _Taint_?! How could you be so careless?!"

Zevran took a step forward and held his dagger to Alistair's throat. "Do not _**dare**_ speak to her that way! You have no place here, Templar! This doesn't concern you! Leave now before I break yet another promise!"

"Zevran! Riel! I am so sorry! Please, we'll leave!" Leliana exclaimed from beside the men. "Alistair! Let's go! Now!"

"You're damn right this concerns me! She-" Alistair pointed beyond Zevran to Riel who still sat on the rock "is _pregnant_! This changes _everything_! Grey Wardens are not supposed to be able to conceive! By the Maker… Do you have any idea what this _means_?"

"It means that not only do I have a woman who I love to protect, but a child - _my child_ \- who I will not think twice about spilling blood to protect!"

"A _child_?! Who knows _what_ that _thing_ is! It could be a child, a demon, or even a bloody Darkspawn!"

"That is **enough!** "

All three of them turned to see Riel standing a few feet away, her naked body aglow in a light shimmer of flames. Her beautiful face was impassive even as her silver eyes sparked in dangerous fury. And when a light breeze wafted by and lifted up her long black hair in a playful dance on the air, she truly looked beyond otherworldly. A creature born not of Thedas, but one who belong somewhere far more ancient and powerful than the Fade itself.

"This is my _child_ , Alistair," Riel stated coldly, emphasizing the word 'child' clearly. "I will **not** have you disgrace this gift that I have given. Nor while I have you or this _curse_ steal from me what happiness that I have found. I will fulfil my duties as a Grey Warden. I will see an end to this Blight. And despite how little you have shown to deserve such an honor, I _**will**_ place you on Thedas' throne." Riel paused and shifted her gaze over to Zevran. " _Alive_ ," she added with intent to him. She opened her mouth as if to speak something else, yet stopped and turned her head to the side and frowned deeply. "We are not alone…" she managed to say before an arrow came whizzing through the trees and lodged deep into her upper shoulder from behind.

Instantly the fire that had been consuming Riel faded as she doubled over in pain.

"Riel!" came a chorus of voices all at once.

Kneeling in the water, Riel gritted her teeth as the pain from the arrow flowed through her. Immediately kneeling at her side was Leliana, while Zevran stood by next to her with his blades drawn and ready.

"Get her out of here!" Zevran shouted to Leliana as the first of the Darkspawn charged towards him.

"Can you stand?"

Riel barely heard Leliana through the roaring fire that crackled in her ears. Ignoring her friend's question, Riel turned and stood, her face a mask of pain and anger. Spying a charging hurlock, Riel's eyes narrows on the creature as she felt the power of magic swell from deep inside of her.

"Can't I have one moment of **blighted** _peace_?!" she cursed out as an electric bolt of energy flowed out of her outstretched hand towards the hurlock. The energy blasted straight through the creature and lifted it up from the ground, sending it flying backwards in the woods beyond.

The glare from sunlight on steel brought Riel's eyes to the left where she spied Alistair swinging his sword at a foul looking shriek. Then from over her shoulder, something whizzed past her ear and went straight into the back of the shriek fighting Alistair, dropping it down to the ground. Turning Riel saw Leliana standing behind her, bow in hand and already another arrow notched and ready.

"Riel! Leave!" came an accented shout from her other side.

With rising anger she watched Zevran duck and roll to escape the heavy blows of a hammer wielding genlock. His swinging blades caught the light of the sun and glittered, adding a strange beauty to his deadly dance of dodges and strikes. There was no moment to admire however as more Darkspawn spilled out from the thick forest. At least a half dozen of hurlocks and several genlocks spread out and began to attack in groups.

Outnumbered and quickly becoming overwhelmed, Riel strangely didn't feel any panic or concern at such a dire sight. Instead a calmness overtook her, starting in her chest and branching out through her whole body. Without conscious thought, her hands began to weave together the invisible energy of the world around her, tapping into and calling forth the powerful magic that existed within her very blood.

Riel lifted her hands above her head just as a dark cloud flowed out of her fingertips. Mouthing ancient words she didn't understand yet felt compelled to utter, Riel called forth the very elements of storm and fire and funneled it into the cloud until it was so large to cast a long shadow on the ground. Then with a powerful push she released the cloud, causing bolts of fire infused lightning to strike down on the ground below.

One by one the Darkspawn were skewered by the magic, letting loose terrible cries of pain and anger as the both fire and electricity consumed them from the inside out. Even shrieks hidden in the shadows were pulled from their hiding spots by the swarming magic, their echoing screams mixing with the dying roars from their cursed brethren.

A moment later it was over, the cloud of magic dissipating on the wind as the last of the enemies fell to the ground, their dead bodies giving off wafts of foul smoke.

Breathing heavily Riel fell down to her knees as exhaustion overtook her once more. However, unlike the previous time she called on such powerful magics, she remained conscious. Weak, but conscious.

At her side immediately was Zevran, his arm wrapped protectively around her. Bending his head down, he placed his hand on her cheek and lifted her eyes up to meet his.

" _Mi bella_?" he asked softly to her.

Riel felt tears build at her eyes as she saw a deep wound on his face. The water around her had turned red from blood, and she knew that there more places he was wounded as well. However, he seemed to completely ignore his own injuries as he held her to him, his concerned eyes searching over her.

"You're injured…" she managed to say.

Zevran shook his head. "It doesn't matter. What matters is you. Are _you_ injured?"

"Blessed Andraste… Riel… your back…"

Riel closed her eyes at the soft curse from her friend. In all the months they had travelled together, Riel had always been careful about hiding the worst of her scars from those who accompanied her. The only one who ever saw the extent of her past trauma was Zevran. Even during the walk to the stream today, the blanket she had used to cover herself had hidden a majority of the very worst of her scars.

However, there was nothing to shield her scars from sight now. Nothing to hide behind or use to cover herself. The horrible marks that were a testament to her past were now as visible as the scar on her face.

"Riel… What happened to you?" whispered Alistair.

"Look away from her! She is **not** some object or a _persona sin valor_ to be gawked at!" Zevran angrily spat out.

Riel placed her hand on his arm and shook her head. "It's okay Zevran," she whispered softly to him.

" _Mi bella_?" he questioned back to her, his voice a soft whisper in her ear.

Riel stood and turned to face the other two, her head held high and her face cold as she regarded them. "This is what happens to my people when we are forced to live with humans. When we are denied even the dignity to our own bodies, and are forced to endure every _perverse_ thought and inclination of the humans who own us." Riel's eyes shifted to Leliana and a small smile turned at her lips. "Some humans are not so cruel. In fact, they can prove themselves to be even closer to us than blood born kin. However…" Riel's eyes snapped to Alistair's then, the smile she held shifting into a lethal and cold sneer. "I have found that most humans are not so kind to those who are different than they are. Especially young girls, lost and alone, away from clan and family."

Riel stepped closer to Alistair and placed her hands on his shoulders. So shocked was he at her actions that he remained completely still, his mouth open yet no sound came out. She held his gaze for a moment, silent and searching for something even she didn't know. Then without removing her eyes from his, Riel spoke calmly, her voice carrying over her shoulder.

"In all the time that I have travelled with you, you have been crass, rude, and arrogant. You have shown callousness, and disregard for things beyond your understanding. However, I have kept hoping. Hoping that you would one day you would finally see what others of your kind do not. That even though I am different from you, I still bleed. I still cry. And I still live a life that is of worth and value. And that my people - the elves of not just of the Dalish, but all Elvhen kind - we are deserving of the same respect and kindness that humans offer to their own." Riel then paused and took a deep breath. "Zevran, remove the arrow, please."

Without a word Zevran came up behind her and placed one hand on her shoulder. " _Perdóname, mi amor_ ," he whispered to her before placing his hand on the arrow shaft and pulling it free in one swift motion.

Riel winced in pain, however she didn't remove her eyes from Alistair's the entire time. Even as tears welled in her eyes and she felt the warm trickle of blood down her back, she kept her eyes fixed to his. "We are _different…_ " she finally whispered to him. "But we still _bleed…_ "

Riel then turned away from Alistair and walked into Zevran's embrace. With her head on his shoulder, she did not see the cold and hard look Zevran gave to Alistair, nor the shocked and sorrowful expression Alistair held on his own face.

In that quiet moment, Riel took strength and comfort from Zevran's arms around her. She was was still exhausted from the release of magic, not to mention she was still not fully recovered from her ordeal in the ruins. With a sigh she placed a light kiss to Zevran's shoulder before walking past him to the rock that she had been sitting on earlier. With a pronounced weariness, she bent over and took hold of the blanket and began to wrap it around her herself.

However, her motions were interrupted by Zevran taking the blanket's edges from her. Startled at first, her confusion blended into a tired smile as he wrapped the fabric around her and tied it securely around her body. When the blanket was secure, Zevran placed his hand against her neck and pulled her to him, where he placed a kiss against her forehead.

"Come. Let me take care of you, _mi bella_ …" Zevran then slid his hand down her body and rested overtop of her abdomen. " _Both_ of you…" he warmly added.

Riel was too tired to speak and so only nodded her head. Zevran wrapped his arm around her waist and together they walked away from the stream and back to the camp beyond.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

" _Mi bella_ , you need to see a healer…" Zevran softly said to her as they entered the araval they had been sharing.

Riel shook her head and smiled as she pulled Zevran down to the cushioned bed. "I only need you… Come lay with me, please…"

Compelled by his love for her and the sweet sound of her voice, Zevran obeyed without question or thought. After all, he was hers, to be commanded or used as she saw fit. When her hands began to pull at the clasps of his leather armor, again Zevran obeyed her wordless desires and quickly shed the cumbersome armor as well as his tunic and leggings underneath.

"Mmmm… much better…" Riel purred as she ran her hands over his chest. However her smile disappeared when she saw the deep wound that stretched along his side, from his hips to his ribs. "Maybe _you're_ the one who needs to see the healer…" she murmured, her voice heavy with concern.

Zevran lifted her chin up so her eyes met his. "I only need _you_ …" he repeated back to her before kissing her passionately. Together they fell back to the bed, with Zevran hovering slightly above her own body.

As Riel's fingers glided around his back, a now familiar warmth began to mount inside of her. As Zevran deepened the kiss, tendrils of flames broke free from the pores of her skin and leapt from her own body to his where they quickly began to spread. Soon both of them were engulfed in the warmth of the fire, the passion they shared becoming the fuel for the flames.

Zevran let out a deep and relaxed sigh as Riel's hands drifted over the wound on his stomach. As before, the mysterious flames caused the broken and damaged skin around the wound to sew back together painlessly. Zevran lowered his head and rested his forehead against her chin as relief filled him. With closed eyes, he felt Riel bring her hands to his face next, where the deep slash he endured also began to knit itself closed.

"Mmm… much better… You are truly a gift from the gods, _mi amor_ …" he purred in a husky tone.

Riel giggled softly as she returned to running her fingertips over his back. Alternating between light touches and deep scratches that would surely leave marks in his skin, Riel basked in the seductive moans and growls she elicited from him. Following the lines and swirls of his tattoos by memory, Riel couldn't help but grin widely as she watched Zevran writhe and arch under her touch.

"Like that, do you?" she whispered to him with a quiet giggle.

Zevran lifted his honey golden gazed to hers, piercing her with a look of pure lust and wonderment. "You have no idea…" he crooned to her before bending his head again and kissing her neck. "Perhaps instead I will show you…" Leaving gently nips against her skin, his lips and tongue tormented Riel with sweet bliss.

Riel arched her back as pleasure cascaded through her, pressing her bare chest against his own. Moaning deeply, her hands slid down his body down to his hips where her nails dug into the flesh there. Hearing his hiss of pleasure in her ear, Riel smiled wickedly and took the opportunity to lick along the edge of his pointed ear.

Zevran let loose a needful growl a split moment before he lowered his head down to her breast and took the mound into his mouth. Again Riel arched her back, her hands coming up to thread her fingers through his hair. With his mouth on one side of her, Zevran his hand to cup and lightly massage her other breast. Gently he suckled and pulled at her, loving the deep moans of pleasure he brought forth out of her.

" _Emma lath…_ " Riel breathed heavily between deep moans.

"Yes, _ma vhenan_ … tell me your desires…" Zevran murmured lovingly against her skin.

"Zevran…" she moaned pitifully, her face blushing from both pleasure and embarrassment. Even after all their time spent together, there was still a weight to words that she wished to say. Lodging in her throat, they refused to leave her lips, lost in shyness and self consciousness.

Zevran grinned wickedly, knowing how hard such things were for her. Yet still he took a curious sort of pleasure from watching her blush at his request. The way she would bite her lip in indecision and how her silver eyes would wordless beg for him to relieve her without her needing to voice the words. There was a sweet beauty in her innocence, especially how it exquisitely it blended with her divinely tempting and seductive boldness that she always showed.

"Now, you cannot tell me that after all this time you are still hesitant?" he lightly chuckled. Slowly he moved down her body, placing gentle kisses along her chest and over her ribs down to her stomach. When he reached her abdomen he paused to lightly nuzzle his nose against the skin there. Reverently he placed slow kisses from one hip to the other, paying special attention the direct center, where he stopped briefly to offer a quiet prayer.

Riel ran her fingers through his hair and smiled warmly as she watched him kiss her abdomen. "First you tell me what you are thinking when you do that…" she whispered to him.

Zevran chuckled lightly against her skin. "Only offering a prayer to the gods, _mi amor_."

"Oh? And what are you praying for?"

Zevran lifted his head and smiled up at her. "That you and _su preciado tesoro_ remain safe and well."

"We will. As long as you are with us," Riel replied as her fingers lightly ran over his cheek.

Zevran closed his eyes and basked in the feel of her fingers on his skin. Turning his head slightly, he nipped gently at the tips of her fingers. "Forever, _mi bella_ …" he murmured softly. A mischievous grin then overtook his face as he looked back upon her. "Now, _your_ turn. So tell me, _mi diosa_ … What can your humble servant do to pleasure you?"

Riel laughed and covered her face with her hands, hiding in the vain the blush that erupted over her features. She tried to curl her body to the side as embarrassment filled her, however Zevran placed his hand lightly on her stomach to keep her on her back. Riel knew that he was enjoying her torment far too much, especially by the gleam in his eyes her chuckled at her response.

"Come now… You are a woman who has faced down raging demons, rampaging Darkspawn, and foolish Templars. You have commanded dwarven Legionnaires, defeated vicious abominations and vile giant spiders. You cannot tell me that _this_ causes you pause? Your own pleasure? Certainly not for a woman so lovely and courageous as yourself…" Zevran grinned wider as she pinned a glare on him. Although if it was due to his words, or the gentle way he ran the backs of his fingers against the moist slit between her legs, he wasn't exactly sure. Which only made his wicked grin wider.

"You are _terrible_ , ser elf…" Riel mumbled even as her body instinctively began to writhe under his slight touch.

"Aye… That I am. However, I assure you that it is only in the very _best_ of ways…" he replied with sly wink. "Hmm… Should I make it easier for you?" Zevran lowered his head and laved a long and delicious lick from the top of her pubic bone up to her belly button. When she twisted and bucked under him, Zevran smiled, loving her reaction to his touch. He then reached for her hand and placed lingering kisses against each one of her fingertips. "Perhaps we shall start slow…" he whispered huskily. " _Show_ me instead, my beautiful goddess. Take this lovely fingers and touch yourself where you wish for me to kiss you… Do you think you could do that?" Again Riel blushed, but still she nodded. "Good. Now show me…"

With her face tinged red, Riel lifted her hand up to her mouth and ran her fingertips along her lips. Zevran chuckled and lifted himself back up her body. Once there he stared into her eyes for a moment before leaning down and capturing her lips with his own. Passionately he kissed her, letting his tongue seek and explore all the hidden areas of her mouth.

"Now where, _mi bella_ …?" he breathed heavily against her lips.

Riel let her fingers drag from her lips down to her jaw, then further down to her neck. Obediently Zevran followed the trail, his lips and tongue moving slowly down her skin. Further down, across her collarbone and lower still until her fingertips brushed over her left nipple. Hungrily Zevran dipped his head down and took her breast into his mouth and suckled her. Riel arched her back and moaned while her legs began to rub against each other in a desperate search for release.

Zevran released her breast and ran his tongue over her nipple, allowing his teeth to lightly graze the puckered flesh while he watched her twist her body beneath him. By the gods, simply watching her move was enough to drive him to edge of his own climax. And hearing her moan and whispered his name as he pleasured her was almost more than he could handle. Yet he held himself back, pushing aside his own desires for her own.

Riel ran her hand over her other breast, her already perk nipple sliding in between her fingers as her palm gripped the flesh. "Touch me…" she managed to murmur softly.

"Gladly…" he replied in a lustful tone. Bringing up his own palm, Zevran slid his hand under hers, letting her guide his hand as to how she wanted to be touched.

With her hand over his, Riel pushed his hand lower down her body. Using her own movements to guide his, she showed him to lightly massage and caress her body. Going over her ribs to her sides, then down further to her hips. There she showed him how she liked to be squeezed and pulled, before moving his hand around to her round backside.

"Kiss…" Riel murmured, running the fingertips of her other hand along his lips.

Once more Zevran obeyed, licking and kissing her fingers. Riel then used her fingers to guide his lips back to her body, over her ribs and down to her stomach. Running a trail across her skin, Riel led Zevran's lips down lower, tracing a tantalizing line around her belly button and down even further. However her fingers didn't go to the part of herself that craved him most. Instead they drifted past that point, going along to the inside of her thighs and doing small circles on the sensitive flesh found there.

Reverently Zevran followed his goddess' guide, his tongue and lips painting her skin with drawn out kisses and licks that left them both breathless and needful. Zevran wasn't even sure who this was supposed to tease and entice more, her or himself. With his lips so close to her core, he could his mouth water for the chance to taste her. The beautiful and musky scent of her juices tantalized and tormented him as he placed loving kisses along her inner thighs, and he inwardly wondered how long he could resist before he found himself running his eager tongue up her wet and dripping slit.

"Please… Let me taste you… I am hungry for you, _mi diosa_ … I _need_ to feel you against my tongue…" Zevran pleaded to her between heavy breaths.

Riel brought her fingertips slightly upwards and used them to gently pull apart the two lips of her core. " _Kiss_ …" she whispered once more to him.

Zevran didn't waste any time as he dove his head forward. Greedily he consumed her, licking and sucking on her core in long and fiendish pulls. As soon as his tongue touched her sensitive skin, Riel bucked upwards, the pleasure so intense that she came right then and there. With a throaty cry, she called out his name as her hips lifted up off the soft bed beneath her.

Zevran placed his free hand on to her sternum to gently hold her down while he tasted and licked at her. Swallowing down every ounce of her orgasm, he continued to push her on, driving her on to a next. Wildly Riel writhed, her hands fisting and clawing at the bed as she moaned and cried out in pleasure. When her first orgasm began to subside, Riel took her moved it down to her backside where she again covered it over top of his. She then guided his hand over to the juncture between her legs, moving his fingers close to the sweet spot at the base of her slit.

"Touch me… _please_ …" she begged him in a soft moan.

Zevran chuckled against her before gently sliding two of his fingers deep inside of her. Again Riel bucked as a powerful moan broke past her lips. Zevran was there though, gently holding her down with one hand while he pleasured her with the other. Masterfully he worked her body with his mouth and fingers, finding the most pleasurable spots and wringing forth every bit of pleasure he could from her.

Twice more Riel climaxed before she finally started pleading for mercy. "Please Zevran… _Please_ …" she mewled between heavy breaths.

"Please what, _mi bella_? Tell me. Tell me what you _need_ …" he replied back to her, his voice thick with his own need.

"Make love to me! Please… I _need_ you…" she pleaded desperately.

Quickly Zevran glided up her body, positioning him hips between her legs and his arms on either side of her. Once equal to her, he lowered his head and suckled lightly at the base of her neck before kissing up her throat to her ear. "Accept me then, _mi diosa_ …" he softly whispered, his voice barely audible.

Riel's hands sought out the hard length between his legs and guided it to her, lifting up her own hips to meet his own. With a shift of her body he slid into her, both of them letting free a deep moan of pleasure as they once more became one. Slowly Zevran began to move, being careful to keep his weight off her as he moved. Riel wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled his closer to her, needing to feel his flesh against her own.

"Wait, _mi bella_ …" Zevran stated with concern in his voice.

"What is wrong?" she asked, her own worry lacing through her words.

Zevran mentally cursed at himself, not sure how to explain to her his concerns without upsetting her. Finally an idea came to him. Without removing himself from inside of her, Zevran carefully positioned himself behind her. Kissing her shoulder, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly against him so her back was flush against his chest as they laid on their side.

"I don't want to hurt you… _Either_ of you…" he added, his hand drifting down to rest on her lower abdomen. To stave off any protests she may have, Zevran placed his fingers on her chin and lifted her mouth to his, kissing her deeply. He then took hold of her leg and draped it over his own as he continued his gliding motions inside of her. Returning his hand to her abdomen, he gently caressed her as he made careful love to her.

Riel started to argue, however she became lost in the building friction of their bodies. Riel covered the hand on her abdomen with her own and gently squeezed it. " _Emma lath_ …" she moaned as she moved her body against his.

Zevran took advantage of their new position and guided Riel's hand down her body until her fingers rested overtop of the sensitive nub there. "Touch yourself, _mi bella_ … I want to feel you pleasure yourself at the same time that I am inside of you," he purred into her ear.

At first Riel moved her fingers slowly, matching her movements with his strokes. Then as he sped up, so did she. As one they moved against each other, their bodies finding a rhythm as unique and meaningful as the love that they shared. It wasn't long before Riel felt herself cross the edge over into bliss, her back arching against Zevran's body as her head tilted back and a deep satisfied moan tore past her lips.

"I am there with you!" Zevran growled as he too found his release inside of her divine heat. His hips rocked against hers as both his mind and body exploded sending him into a deep and fulfilling state of euphoria.

Panting heavily, Zevran pulled Riel tight against him and lovingly kissed the back of her shoulder. A satisfied grin spread across his face as he nuzzled against her, lost in the sublime bliss of their post love making. With her wrapped tightly in his arms as she was now, Zevran experienced a sense of worth and peace that he never had even thought possible.

" _Ar lath ma…_ " Riel mumbled as she lightly caressed the inside of his arm as he held her.

" _Ar lath ma'en, ma vhenan_ ," he whispered back to her before placing another kiss to her shoulder. "Now rest. I will wake you when the evening meal is prepared."

Riel giggled softly and leaned back into him. "Intent on making sure that I eat?" she teased lightly.

"Of course! I am not just feeding you now, am I? After all, what sort of servant would I be if I were to leave my _pronto a ser esposa_ and her _da'len_ hungry and in need? Tsk, tsk… Why, you threaten my honor as a man to even suggest such a thing!" he replied with feigned hurt causing Riel to laugh. Zevran tilted her face up towards his and delivered a light kiss to her lips. "Sleep now, _mi bella_. And know that I will forever do everything in my power to give you everything that you deserve."

Riel turned her body and snuggled against him. "You already do, _emma lath_ …" he whispered before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.

* * *

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

* * *

Zevran waited until he was sure that Riel was sound asleep before he carefully pulled himself away from her. Quickly he donned his tunic and trousers and slipped out of the araval that he shared with Riel. Outside the Dalish camp was busy with people going about their day while elven children rushed around playing or helping their elders. However, there was a thick feeling of tense apprehension in the air that wasn't there before. And as Zevran made his way past the various aravals and Dalish, he knew without ever asking what the source of new anxiety was.

" _Aneth ara, Ashal Mirthadra_ ," Lanaya greeted respectfully with a short bow as Zevran approached her. "It is good that you came. I was going to seek you out, however I overheard… You were _busy_ after your encounter at the stream," she added with a shy yet knowing smile.

Zevran bowed in return to the Keeper, offering her the same respect she showed to him. "You do far too much honor, Keeper. I am but a servant to my lovely Lady Warden."

Lanaya looked to the few males and females elves around her, catching each of their gazes with her own. "Go now to your duties. We depart _mah'vunin_. Make sure we are prepared." Immediately those gathered nodded or bowed their farewells to the Keeper and left the two of them alone.

"So soon?" question Zevran with concern in his voice.

Lanaya nodded solemnly. "Leliana told me what happened not just at the stream, but in your camp as well-"

"There was another attack?"

"You didn't know? No, you wouldn't…" Lanaya sighed and shook her head. "It is no longer safer here. In truth, we should have never come so far south with the danger of the Darkspawn so close. However, Zathrian had insisted, even with the threat of the werewolves and the encroaching Darkspawn. The day he told us that we would be staying, I had argued with him, angry that he would endanger the whole clan over a 'vision'..." Lanaya lifted her hand and wiped at the corner of her eye. "However, the time for waiting is over. With two attacks so close to my people, I cannot risk staying any longer. What we discussed will have to wait."

"I understand, Keeper. Truthfully, it is why I have come to see you. You see, I was hoping that if you are to travel, that the Lady Warden and her people may accompany you. At least for a time, that is. We have business in Denerim, and perhaps along the way, should there be time to see to our plans…"

"I thought Leliana said that you were headed back to Redcliff to meet with the human arl?"

"As you know, that would heading back through the Southern Hills, and then through the Hinterlands. Places sure to be thick with those foul Darkspawn and other such evils of the ensuing Blight… With my lady's current condition…"

Lanaya raised her hand to cut off Zevran's words. "Say no more. I understand. Your people are welcome to travel with us north until we read the King's Road at the edges of the Brecilian forest."

Zevran again bowed deeply as wide grin overtook his features. "You are too kind, my lovely Lanaya."

"I shall speak with Leliana and have one of my messengers travel ahead to the nearest human village where they can find one of her contacts." Lanaya paused for a moment as she thought over the details. "She is surprising for a _Shemlen_ woman. I never expected to actually find myself actually calling one of their kind a _friend_ , but with her…"

"Our beautiful Leliana is certainly one of kind," Zevran warmly stated in agreement. "Her devotion to my lady Warden alone would be enough for me to think highly of her. She is definitely one to be valued in amongst our companions."

"I do have one request however… There is another _Shem_ who may cause some problems among my own people should he travel with us…"

"I understand, and perhaps this would be another topic of discussion to have with our endearing redhead as well, _no_? After all, it seems that her lovely charms have even extended to the bothersome fool himself."

"I _have_ noticed him following her around… Very well. I will speak with her. With luck and the Creator's favor, we shall be ready to travel by morning light. Have your people ready, and I will speak with Leliana about her contacts… _And_ her foolish Shemlen." Layana paused for a moment and shook her head. "Whatever must she see in him, only the gods themselves know…"

"Believe me, Keeper," Zevran replied with a deep sigh. "I have wondered the same thing…"


	64. Secret Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Bioware, as with all its characters, the story as it deviates from canon is mine, however, as with the personalities of characters as they deviate from those in the game.
> 
>  
> 
> Please do tell me what you think so far of the story!  I would love to know your opinions!
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued readership!  It means so much!  
> 
>  
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>  
> 
> Translations:
> 
>  
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> Ir abelas: Elvhen. “I’m sorry.”
> 
>  
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> Da’len: Elvhen. “Little child, or little one.”
> 
>  
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> Asha Mirthadra: Elvhen. “Honored woman.”
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> Mi hermosas damas: Antivan. “My beautiful ladies.”
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> Ma sa'lath: Elvhen. “My one love.”
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> Ma nuvenin, asha mirthadra. Elvhen.  “As you wish, honored woman.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very, deeply sorry for how long it has taken me to update this story. For those of you who do not know, during the summer of 2016, I lost someone very close to me to suicide. Someone I loved very much. So it has been a very difficult year. But hopefully this chapter means that I can get back to writing. 
> 
> I don't know when I will be able to write more. And I know this is sort of a short chapter. But this is what I can do for now. 
> 
> Thank you for understanding and for sticking with my story. Much love to you all! :)

 

 

For three days the group travelled with the Dalish clan.  Led by the new Keeper Lanaya, the thick and ancient forest seemed to stretch on forever in every direction.  During the day, the warm sunlight trickled down from above the canopy of trees to illuminate a maze of winding trails and overgrown pathways.  Yet despite the twisting path Lanaya led them on, the young woman guided each person, halla, and araval with experienced ease.

 

 

However, since the morning of the attack at the stream, the woman seemed changed.  More reserved than before, she kept mostly to herself whenever the group stopped to rest.  Even when Riel would venture over to her araval and knock quietly on the wooden door, the Keeper would take on a small smile and ask for privacy.  If she answered the summons at all.  The Keeper’s solitude worried Riel, and often left Riel feeling her own form of isolation despite the bustling clan around her.

 

 

With each day that passed, Riel’s anxiety and worry over the new Keeper increased.  And as her anxiety raised, so did Zevran’s own anxiety and worry.

 

 

“It is time for you to eat,  _ mi bella _ ,” Zevran crooned as he stepped up close to Riel.

 

Taking her hand in his own, Zevran gently pulled Riel against him and placed a chaste kiss against her cheek.  Without thought, his free hand slid down her body and came to a rest on her stomach which he gently caressed.

 

 

Riel smiled and leaned into his embrace.  “Didn’t I just eat?  I swear Zevran, I won’t be able to fit into my armor if you keep this up!”

 

 

“If I had my way,  _ mi amor,  _ you wouldn’t need to wear another set of armor again!” he chuckled lightly in return.  

 

 

Riel scoffed and rolled her eyes at his comment.  They had already argued several times over the past few days about her desire to keep fighting despite her newly discovered pregnancy.  She of course reasoned that as long as her armor fit and she could wield her daggers, she wasn’t about to sit back and watch while the others risked their lives.  The Darkspawn still rallied in the Southern parts of Ferelden, and Loghain still schemed back in Denerim.  There was a civil war to diffuse and a bloody war with the corrupted and evil Archdemon to win.

 

 

There was no way she could just let all that pass while she did nothing.  There was already far too much that hung on a thin thread of chance.  Pregnant or not, she was still a Grey Warden.  And she still had a job to do.

 

 

Which of course only worked to infuriate Zevran.

 

 

He had already tried to convince her to travel North with the Dalish when they parted ways at the King’s Highway.  To travel all the way to the Anderfels if they had to.  Leave the fighting and carnage to the others.  Already she had risked her life far too many times for him to be happy about.  Yet Riel was as stubborn as she was beautiful and refused to relent.

 

 

In a heated moment, Zevran even suggested to let Denerim burn and all of Ferelden fall if it meant waiting for more Grey Wardens to travel to them and slay the beast in her place.  

 

 

That suggestion had resulted in Riel spending the night with Morrigan and Leliana in a borrowed araval the evening before.  And for all that night, Zevran paced the boundaries of the Dalish camp, internally hating both himself and the dark times that the fates had thrust both him and the woman he loved into.  

 

 

In the morning when he had finally gathered the courage and sulked over to Leliana’s araval, he almost begged on his knees right there.  Pleading for her forgiveness despite the looks of the other two women, Zevran had given up all pretense of manly stoicness when it came to this woman.  And to his continued amazement, Riel embraced him and offered her own apologies for the previous night’s argument.

 

 

Since that happy reunion that morning, Zevran had barely left Riel’s side.  Even following her each time she ventured over to the Keeper’s araval and knocked lightly against the small wooden door.  Standing silently a few paces away, he would wait patiently as Riel spoke in hushed whispers with the woman, only to once again have the door close and her expression fall in disappointment and concern.

 

 

Hours passed slowly that day, with Zevran helping Riel with the daily duties of the clan.  While the other Dalish were friendly as Riel made small conversations with them, Zevran could see the small apprehension in their faces as they looked upon Riel.  With the stories of their previous adventures spreading throughout the clan, combined with what little was known of what happened deep inside the ruins here in this very forest, those in the clan looked with both wonder and astonishment at the small elvhen woman at his side.  Tales of battling wild beasts, giant spiders, Darkspawn abominations, otherworldly horrors, and even a dragon were not the usual fare that was told around well fed fires.  And with each story told and told again, it seemed as though the unassuming elvhen woman at his side grew in proportion to the stories told about her.  

 

 

Even knowing the truth of each tale, Zevran couldn’t help but also feel astonished at the battles and victories he witnessed at his lady’s side.  Looking down at Riel’s bright and warm smile as she spoke with the clanspeople, it was sometimes hard to imagine the burning fire of iron resolve and strength that laid just under the surface of that perfect smile.  That such a small and delicate creature could withstand the very worst of not just this world, but the one beyond as well.  It was both terrifying and endearing thought that only made Zevran love her all the more.  And deepen his own resolve that no matter what, he will see her free of not just this war, but of this curse that was slowly poisoning her life.

 

With the stars taking rest above in the darkened sky, Riel sat heavily down on a fallen tree stump.  The luring voice of the clan storyteller Sarel creeped over the awed faces of the others to where she was, his words bringing to life yet again the tales and battles both foreign and known to her.  At her side, Riel felt the gentle nuzzle of her lover below her ear, stealing her attention away from the story.  Offering again the small wooden bowl of cooked meat and roasted vegetables mixed with a tuft of wild rice, Zevran once more hid the concern he felt behind a mask of jovial charm and purring seduction.

 

 

“You are eating not just for yourself now,  _ mi bella _ .  I, as ever your devoted follower, would be failing in my duties if I did not make sure that both of you were well fed and  _ satisfied _ .”  Zevran leaned in further to her warm body and breathed in her lovely scent.  The response in his body was immediate and just as intense as it always was.  A rush of desire and protective instinct soared through him, causing him to instinctively moan as he lightly kissed the base of her neck.

 

 

The days since Riel’s decision to keep the child that she carried within her has both been the best days that Zevran had ever experienced, as well as simultaneously his very worst.  A savage and carnal instinct bloomed into full force, demanding that he protect and shield both her and the young they created.  And with each passing day, the feeling increased ever greater to the point where he felt his own sanity wearing.

 

 

Riel laced him with a playful glare even as she picked up a piece of cooked meat with her fingers.  “I may be with child, but you dote on me as if I were carrying a full litter of elvhen children!  I swear by the time this  _ da’len _ comes, I will be as big as an araval!  Soon I will not even be able to fit into even the largest of tunics!”

 

 

“Tsk, tsk,  _ mi bella _ .  You will always be beautiful to me.  Besides, the less that you wear, the easier it will be for me to  _ ravish _ you…” Zevran purred seductively into her ear.

 

 

Riel giggled quietly as she curled into his touch.  “You say that, yet I doubt that even a full set of heavy metal armor would deter you, ser elf…” she quipped in return.

 

 

“When it comes to the pleasures that I can offer to such a lovely and tempting  _ diosa _ such as yourself?  I would be a poor rogue indeed if I were to let such meager obstacles get in my way…”  Zevran ran his hand up Riel’s thigh and under the hem of her tunic to her hip.  With gentle touches he caressed the skin there, teasing her flesh and causing Riel’s breath to catch in her throat.

 

 

“ _ Ahem _ …”

 

 

Riel felt her face flush as she looked up and saw Lanaya standing a few feet away.  The Keeper’s blonde hair was bundled tightly into a bun behind her head and it looked as if she had recently been crying.  Yet the soft smile that graced her lips was genuine and the shy yet knowing look in her eyes gave a sparkle to her gaze.

 

 

“ _ Ir abelas, Asha Mirthadra _ …” Lanaya stated quickly with a blush of her own.

 

 

Riel stood and approached the other woman, offering a small bow.  “Please Keeper…  I didn’t do anything to deserve such a title…”

 

 

Lanaya lifted her hand to silence her and shook her head.  “You saved my clan from Zathrian’s curse, and you saved our former Keeper from his own vengeance.  You have more than earned the title.  It is to my own shame that I have not spoken to you properly since your recovery.  I have been… Indisposed…”

 

 

Riel saw the familiar look of hurt in Lanaya’s eyes and while a part of her ached to know why her new friend was hurting, she bit her tongue.  Some hurts left scars that could only be seen in the eyes, and were often best left unsaid.

 

 

“Do you want to walk with me?” Riel softly offered to the other woman.  “Some girl time?” she added with a meaningful flick of her eyes to Zevran before returning her gaze back to Lanaya.

 

 

“That would be wonderful,” breathed Lanaya in relief.  Her eyes then went to Zevran, her voice becoming more hesitant.  “That is if you do not mind,  _ Ashal Mirthadra _ .”

 

 

Zevran broadly smiled up at the two women before bowing deeply with his usual flourish.  “Of course not,  _ mi hermosas damas _ .  Even the wisest man knows not to get in between two lovely ladies who wish to be free of the males around them.”  Zevran gently took Riel’s hand and placed a light kiss against her palm.  “Although I will not be far in case you become of need of me,  _ ma sa'lath _ ,” he whispered seductively to Riel.  He then straightened and gave a knowing wink to Lanaya before turning and walking over to where Sarel was seated.  A playful slap across his back almost sent the poor storytelling elf off the log he was resting on, however Zevran didn’t seem to notice as he laughed jovially and sat down beside him.  “Now tell me, have you ever heard the story where the rich Antivan prince was so disliked, there was actually a lottery held as to which patron was allowed to pay for his assassination?”

 

 

The two women laughed quietly to themselves as they watched Zevran begin his tale with all the enthusiasm of a trained bard.  “The Creators themselves would call me a liar if I said that I have met many men like your Zevran.  Truly he is one of kind.”

 

 

Riel smiled warmly over to the Keeper, feeling a swelling of pride in her chest at the other woman’s compliment.  “It is interesting how the gods work.  When I first met him, we were trying to kill each other.  Even after I accepted him into our group, I still hated him.  He was everything I thought was wrong with men.  Arrogant, believing his looks and manhood meant he could do whatever he wanted.  But still, I was drawn to him.  And no matter how much I pushed him away, he stayed true.  Never pressuring me, but always making sure that I knew that I….” Riel took a hard breath as she remembered back over the few past months.  “He always made sure that I knew that I was no longer alone.”

 

 

“And that is why you wish to go through with the ceremony?”

 

 

“Yes.  No.  I mean…” Riel paused as she brushed some of her hair away from her face.  “Even after all we have been through…. All the things yet to come….  I know what I am.  No matter how hard I have tried to hide from it, to deny that it even exists….  It is who I am.  And I can’t run away from that anymore.  Run away from who I am or where I have come from....  I need to embrace not just my present, but my past as well.  If I’m going to a have a future, I need to go through with this.”

 

 

“And you’re sure you want to do it the way you described?” the Keeper asked softly, her eyes drifting back over to where Zevran was continuing his story.

 

 

“It has to be done this way.  Or else he would never let it happen.”  Riel sighed heavily and gave a hard look towards Lanaya.  “Your people can handle it?  You know the risks?”

 

 

“We know the risks.  But do you?  The ceremony is not an easy one.  And you already with child…”

 

 

“My people will help.  It will have to wait until after we return from Redcliff, however.  I want to be at full strength before we head to Denerim to face Loghain.”

 

 

Lanaya placed a comforting hand on Riel’s shoulder, even as a heavy sigh escaped her own lips.  “ _ Ma nuvenin _ ,  _ asha mirthadra _ .  I will go make the arrangements.”

 

 

Riel’s hands drifted down to rest on the small bump of her belly.  Absently she caressed the area there, thinking of what the future held for her.  Not just her, but her child and Zevran as well.  “Let’s just hope your father understands,” Riel whispered to herself and the child she was carrying.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Riel moaned peacefully in her sleep, her dreams so far this night thankfully without the usual bout of nightmares.  Zevran laid awake next to her, simply watching her sleep, taking pleasure in every uninterrupted breath she had.  Some nights the nightmares were worse than others.  Sometimes her cries and screams would wake the whole camp no matter how hard he tried to comfort her.  Yet those they travelled with never raised a word about her keeping them awake those nights.  Never a grumble or a rude remark.  Not even from the dwarf.  

 

 

The reason was simple, even if it went unmentioned.  She was their leader.  Their friend.  More than that, she was the one they all fought for.  Not because they had to.  Or because she was a Grey Warden, one of only two capable of ending the Maker forsaken Blight that they found themselves in.  During all the battles they had fought together, all the enemies that they defeated, Riel had become such an integral part of their merry band of travellers that not one of them followed out of duty or promise of defeating the Archdemon.

 

 

They followed her…. Fought beside her, protected her, and even went without sleep for her…  Because it was what each of them felt they  _ needed _ to do.  That there was no other place in the world for them to be.  

 

 

Out of all of them though, none were more devoted to her than Zevran himself was.  Since the first day he saw her, he was hers.  Hopelessly yet willfully bound to her, in this life and whatever life comes next.

 

 

Zevran knew that his time growing short, however.  Soon Riel’s group and the Dalish would be parting ways, and there would be no telling when or if they would meet up again before their final fight against the Archdemon.  Yet there was still much he needed to do.  Much he needed to plan and see put into motion before they reached the King’s Highway.  

 

 

Sighing wistfully, Zevran placed a careful kiss against Riel’s forehead before slowly extracting himself from her and their warm bed.  Once free from their araval, his well trained eyes adjusted quickly to the low light of the night sky and dying firelight.  Silently Zevran made his way around the parked aravals and tents, using his skills as a well trained assassin to move soundlessly from shadow to shadow.  Stopping finally outside one araval in particular, he placed a soft knock against the wooden frame.

 

 

The door creaked slightly as it swung open, revealing the mage light illuminating the interior of the araval.  “You are late,” the voice whispered in a slightly annoyed tone.

 

 

“My apologies, my friend.  I trust it is not too late continue our  _ discussion _ ?” Zevran whispered back with his usual flirtatious banter.

 

 

“Come in quickly.  Be thankful that my training has prepared me for secrets, for your group has tested that training well.”

 

 

Zevran gazed quizzically up at the Keeper of the Dalish clan, yet shrugged his shoulders as he entered her araval and shut the door behind him.  “Secrets you say?  How interesting.  Anything involving me?”

 

 

“You shall never know, Zevran…” Lanaya replied back with a mischievous grin.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Broken](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5085481) by [LadyXandra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyXandra/pseuds/LadyXandra)




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